January 2011 Controlled/No Spend Thread

[Deleted]

2 NSD, 4 NEO, 2 Moan

SES Thank you for your response. I will shop around for the book. I just wasn't sure if the book was still relevant after all these years and the changes in our economy.

I worked yesterday with a complete Whackadoodle. It was a co-teaching split class. I have subbed for this class many times and usually love the other co-teacher. Yesterday she had a sub too though and the sub was a complete whackadoodle. She nearly gave the secretaries a stroke over some of the things she did. I finally had to have one of the secretaries come down and help me close the wall between the classrooms because I just couldn't teach above her and her extremely poor classroom management. My throat was completely raw. By time I got home I was exhausted and let my kids talk me into picking them up McDonald's. We rarely eat there so it was a very unhealthy treat. Hopefully I get back in the swing of things and am not so exhausted after a day of working.

[munjoyhill]

Munjoyhill Update:

2/10 NS Days
5/25 MOAN Days

Even though yesterday wasn't a No Spend day for me, I am celebrating small victories. There is a candle/gift shop going out of business, all their stuff is discounted, it's right around the corner from where I work, plus I drive by it to and from work every day. I WANT to go there, but I don't NEED to go there. And I haven't gone. My mindset usually is I'll swing by there at noon, gets me out of the office for a half hour, I'll just "look". Of course I wouldn't just look, I'd end up buying something. But I have not gone to the place, I don't need more candles, I already have a big plastic container full. So no spending on the candles I don't need.

[mrslynch]

warning: small, angry vent ahead

today, as i sat in traffic for over an hour because for some reason snow+cars=idiots, i realized that i need to make some radical changes. i can't, for any reason, rationalize why i endured the traffic that i did to go sit for 7 hours (minus the hour i was late, normally its 8) in an office i hate, doing a job i hate, working for a woman i hate, and surrounded by people i can't, for the most part, stand. should i be grateful that i have a job? yes. but don't i deserve to enjoy what i do and enjoy the place where i go to do it? yes. i feel like i am missing so much of my life because i am tethered to this albatross i call my job. i'm sick of it. no job, especially not this one, is worth sitting in over an hour of traffic-for-no-explanation-except-people-can't-drive-in-the-damn-snow. and i have to show up. i can't just not show up. i'd get fired. and i can't call out because i only get so much time and i need to save it for a day when the weather is really, truly bad. let's not even get me started on that...

and as far as the job i'm waiting on, let me just briefly express my displeasure at the whole looking for a job process. it's worse than rushing a sorority! at least when i rushed, there were sororities that wanted me to. looking for a job, well that's just trying to prove why i'm worthy of working somewhere and then waiting for someone who met me for 1/2 hour to decide if i'm good enough to come work there. i'm not saying that people should come to me begging for me to work for them (though, that would be nice), i'm just saying that if you're going to interview someone for a position, at least have the decency not to drag out the decision.

i think i'll stop now otherwise this will become ridiculously long and rambling.

thank you for listening.

[singlemomky]

mrslynch - hugs to you! I think you have a valid point esp w/the job interviews. At least w/sorority rush you know when the decision will be made - even if it is not the decision you had hoped for!

[3catslady]

red; I realize that Honey just copied the writings of ses, but she also wrote a story about the Prince TJ and Princess Onyx. I think, now I will have to go back and read her blog to see for sure.
I am back from the vet's and my kitty has an enlarged thyroid and some kind of seborrhea. He gave her a cortisone shot and says that she will need them from time to time because this is something that will not go away. Right now she is sleeping and so are the other two. But then, that is what they always do this "early" in the morning. (The twins just started bumping my door just to make noise which is disturbing the kitties' naps.) The cost of the visit and shot was $39.00. Now I have to decide if it was a NSD or CSD. I think I am going to go with CSD because it was necessary and I forgot to put something in the budget for things like that. Now if I have to take her out to Pittsburgh for the thyroid operation, that will also be a CSD because I now have a budget set up for her and the other 2.

[shanendoah]

2 of 10 NSD, 2 of 8 MOAN
At least the nights DH is going to class I'm managing to stick to my plan. (Well for the first 2 nights, we'll see if I keep it up.)

Trying to decide how to count paying for DH's school. It has to be done by 4pm today. This is a planned bill, and I normally don't count bills at all. However, I planned on paying by CC (for the points) then transferring money from the high interest savings to pay off the CC. Because of that plan, I have not yet transferred the money from the savings (at a different bank) to our normal account. It takes 3 days to do so.
Yesterday when I was looking at their pay online site, I found out that the school charges an extra 2.75% for credit card payments, They don't charge that money for electronic checks. In the future, I will know and transfer the money from savings in time to pay by electronic check, but this quarter, we'll be paying a $50 stupid tax (for not looking at terms earlier) and I'm trying to decide whether to roll that into the school cost and just consider it a learning experience or to charge us for a spend.
It might not matter (for my NSD count) anyway, because there's a chance we'll take MIL to CostCo tonight , but we'll have to see.

mrsl: I understand your job hunting frustration. Though I have to say, after a certain amount of time, hearing from a company is even more annoying than not hearing from them. I interviewed for one job before Memorial Day. During the interview, it was indicated that they were looking to hire this position ASAP and should have a decision within a week or so. Never heard anything from them, assumed I didn't get the job,accepted my current position (which is a better position). The Friday before 4th of July, I got an email from the other company letting me know I had not been selected, and they thought they should let me know before the holiday weekend. *RME*
I will say, and I think WVGurl can back me up on this, job hunting right now is frustrating, and can take forever. It took me 2 years of active looking to find a new job. But the right job is worth it.

[sheilaincali]

Update: 3/20 $0

Had to buy cold medicine yesterday - stayed strong and only bought that (even though the Christmas clearance stuff was super on sale).

mrslynch: I am sorry you are stuck in the position you are in. It is torture to go to a place you hate and sit there all day and pretend to be productive and friendly. Drains the life right out of you. I am crossing my fingers that you hear some good news soon. Not nice at all to stress a person out and make them wait and wait.

My work has gotten interesting lately. I work for my dad who owns one of the companies that I work for and 50% of the other company. However over the years he has invested significantly more in to the 50% company than his partner has. From 2006 until 2009 my dad was pretty much a silent partner because his regular job kept him working 70 hrs a week (he sold a 3rd company but the kept him on and promoted him to head up the MN and Iowa operations). During those 3 years his partner used the company as his personal piggy bank. Or so we are now just discovering. It's been interesting to see the blatant embezzlement that went on. Dad is getting pretty po'd and looking to force his partner out. Examples: $20,000 to a "Reverend" for spiritual healing for his wife that was turned in as "medical expenses" $15,000 to $20,000 a year that their son spent on "personal purchases" that was written off. The $350 a week they paid the same son out of AP while he was on unemployment (could get us in seriously trouble if we get audited). The list goes on and on. Dad had me haul all the boxes in so I can go through it all and compile the data. Interesting reading to say the least.

[shanendoah]

3cats: Good to know the kitty is doing alright. And Yay for a budget that includes caring for our furkids!

[shanendoah]

sheila: Not being a lawyer, but having done research into the legalities of setting up businesses with partners, could you dad persue some sort of legal action against the partner? I would think that it might be good if he consulted a lawyer now about his options, as a CYA sort of thing, so that, if you do get audited, you have some sort of evidence that he did not know of the fraud and began legal action as soon as he discovered it.

[3catslady]

munjoyhill; I, too, have a plastic tub of candles to burn and I don't need any more but friends just gave some to me for Christmas so I am burning more candles. I have 3 or 4 that are still in boxes that I could use for gifts but the rest are started and I guess I will just burn them down. I was thinking of getting one of those electric candle warmers and putting them on there so I don't have to light the wick because my eyes really get bad when I burn candles.

[dakota4600]

Update 6/20 NS/CS, 5/18 NEO

Wow, I'm impressed with us so far this month. Last night on our way home Mini-D told me he wanted tacos and when we got home our tortillas were furry, so DH walked to the store to get some more. But as long as groceries are in budget I don't hold it against us.

Now actually I hope my SIL gets the job. I loved the facility that we saw last night. They don't have TV's, they don't serve juice or processed foods. In fact they have a garden that the 3-6 yr olds help tend and then they use the produce in their lunches. They are part of a CSA program and get a lot of their food from there. Instead of getting the junk that comes through the state lunch program, they get reimbursed for the fresh food they purchase. They have "class" from 8:30-11:30, then again from 2-4 (11:30-2 is lunch and nap time). It is a Montessori school, so they don't have classes per say, but they do educational activities that the kids do at their own pace. They are open from 7-5:30 which works fine for us. If we end up not needing it now, I really hope that they will have room come August 1st.

ses- It will be awhile before I make the rolls again, but may try the oatmeal/oat flour ones. I love oat bread. Do you think this recipe would make decent loafs of bread? I'm thinking of a small loaf that I could use for garlic bread.

Mrs Lynch- Hugs I know how you feel. I have only found one job that I considered applying for, but didn't since their work week was Tues-Saturday.

[3catslady]

All this talk about looking for work has me thinking about looking but I don't think I will. Reason one is that I am 63 years old and Reason 2 is I like the idea that if I want a day off for some reason, I can ask for it now even though I have to ask for it 2-3 weeks ahead of time. I don't like standing on my feet 4-9 hours a day but they have been okay with me taking a couple of breaks instead of one. I would like to work from home on the computer but I am not computer literate enough to do that.
PS; Have you noticed that I have been on here more than usual these past couple of days? I really think that the light bulb and knowing that the shortest day of the year has past is really helping. But then again, "it's all in your head" according to some people.

[azmom]

Vent/Rant: I just spent last night trying not to fight with DH and then this morning fought over the phone with him...which is worse since he is at work and I know better. His job is tough enough and he is already stressed to the max but I am just so frustrated I broke and I couldn't stop even though I knew I shouldn't be saying what I was saying. My fee for my race is due on Sunday and we don't have it and I have been trying to be okay with it but I am not! Last night I told DH I really, really want to do the race. I know he understands why and how hard I have trained but he just gets defensive and takes it as he is not good enough provider which makes any discussion difficult. He started brainstorming out loud and his suggestions just seemed ridiculous and hurtful to me. He made me feel like if you really want to do this race than we can do xyz--which made me seem so selfish and made this race more important than other important things. I decided instead of arguing I was just going to let it go and I did. Then this morning happened. We were up late but I still managed to get the kids to school on time with them eating breakfast from a zip loc bag on the drive. I came home and realized I started my period, and well....for some reason DH was just a sitting duck. He left to work and he always calls in the morning when he gets in. He asked what I was doing and I said pouting and the "conversation" escalated from there. I really did act like a child I guess. I threw a good old fashion temper tantrum and just went on and on about how I am always the one who gets the short end of the stick and how I don't buy myself clothes, or get hair cuts, or take care of my self but some how some way everyone else gets taken care of...it was bad. I'm sitting here crying because I know I made him feel really horrible and while what I said was true those are my choices and ordinarily I'm not bothered by it at all. Of course there was the discussion about why it wasn't saved for in the first place and I somehow managed to keep from saying that he had told me he was getting paid $1,000 more than he did today!! Normally he only tells me when deals are a done deal so that is what I thought but turns our it wasn't and the deal fell apart and well his check was short $1,000 of what I planned. To top it off the kids registration for little league starts this weekend through the end of the month and it will be $180 for the both of them to play so even if I came up with my race fee I would pay for them to play instead because I just would not feel right about paying for me and risking them not being able to play. Now because I made a big deal out of this I would not even feel right running this race-which will make DH feel even worse and to top it off it is on my birthday. Sorry I just had to get this out. I know there are bigger problems on this board than my stupid race. DH has a job and we are provided for. I just get so frustrated about not being able to afford the "extras".....end rant. It's Candyland time

[redwagon]

3cats - oh okay. I didn't know about the Princess story! Do you have her blog link? I'm on a new computer... Glad to hear your kitty will be okay, sucks it'll be an ongoing issue.

sheila - yikes. good luck sorting through all of that!!

mrslynch - preaching to the choir. so sorry you're in a crappy job situation. all i can say is good luck, really. I hope you find your perfect fit soon. I'm still waiting to hear back from my job prospect, as is blue_wagon. Frustrating...

Stayed home today. I think it's already helped my cold. and it's snowing and pretty out, so that's nice. Hopefully no driving incidents for blue on his way home...

Blue is really frustrating me. He got all this info about going back to school (classes start in like 2 weeks) before the holidays but didn't look at it. Now he's just barely going to be getting his financial aid in order in time, and is 2 weeks late sending in his immunization info. He's an adult, you would have thought he'd be able to handle this! But I'm refusing to step in. He needs to take responsibility for it and if he's too late for this semester or whatever, it's his problem. grrrrrr. I deal with everything else financially, I don't want to deal with his school stuff too. Maybe that makes me mean. But it's a two-person household so we should share some of the heavy financial type duties, right?

[mizbear]

mrs. l- Do you have the ability to change jobs- I don't know what you do, but could you feasibly do a work from home- either in your current field or going into something else- bookkeeping, medical transcription, etc? I am getting ready to go back to school for transctiption so I will be able to work from home.
azmom- Sometimes- even though there may be "better" ways, you need to have a good rant. I know when my grandfather died over 2 years ago, I could only take so much and then finally blew up. Because someone asked about lunch.

[3catslady]

red; go to honeylioness.proboard and look for Lioness' Den

[mrslynch]

thank you all for the kind words. i know that i've bitched about my job a lot over the last couple of years but it just keeps getting worse and worse. i think today i just snapped. i'm so frustrated that i don't even have the ability to cry anymore. and believe me, i want to. sitting in the kind of traffic i sat in to go to a job where i'm overworked and treated like dirt except when i'm being given more work just made me lose it.
mizbear--thanks for the suggestions but i have no interest in doing those kinds of jobs. i have a pretty specific skill set and it's not in those areas. as far as working from home, that is not going to happen in my current position for a number of reasons. although the state has a telecommuting policy, there is no way my boss would ever allow me to utilize it.

[Honeylioness]

heila - I am so sorry to be so late with my condolences on losing Holly.

Keeker - My sympathy to you as well on the loss of your fur-baby.

Sheila - Thank you for the photo books. The girls were very touched that you would include them as well.

shanendoah - If you are collecting home pages / blogs mine can be found at honeylioness.proboards.com/index.cgi

mizbear - Welcome. While I don't stock up for a year at a time I do take advantage of sales as I have tghe storage room. For instance, when Suave or White Rain shampoo and conditioner go on sale for $1 a piece I buy at least a dozen bottles. With two teenage girls in the house we go through it quickly. Same goes for toothpaste (which in my humble opinion can only mean CREST)

Each year I also snag a large number of toothbrushes for myself and to have on hand. Our dental insurance provider at work usually sends us boxes and boxes as give aways during Open Enrollment. This year we actually have a box of 100 left over we are going to send along to troops overseas with other care package items.

3cats - I can relate to those little evil candies yelling a person's name and "forcing" themselves into your shopping bag! Lately with me it is York Peppermint Patties or Fritos.

ImaAngel - I am with you on needing training wheels AND a helmet when it comes to trying to figure out stocks and the market. I too feel my eyes glaze over when I hear people talking and have to refrain from asking them if they are even speaking English. All I know is that I am extremely risk-adverse and picked middle of the road funds in my 401(k). Then cross my fingers and hope it will be enough to supply me with cat food in my dotage.

shanendoah - If you are looking still for another soup try my Potato & Leek with roasted garlic. The recipe is

MrsLynch - I feel your pain. You described what the last year of my previous job was like. It is physically and emotionally draining to be sure. While there are days I could seriously just quit this job and walk out (I think we all have those days) the upside for me is that at longest my commute is about 10 minutes each way if I catch all the red lights - so I count that as a positive towards the Quality of Life side.

And speaking as someone who works in HR I know just how drawn out and ridiculous the hiring process can be. All I can offer is to trust your instincts and do what is healthiest for you and your family.

red_wagon - My Prince TJ story is here: honeylioness.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=onyx&action=display&thread=144

[Honeylioness]

Okay ..... WHYYYYYYY can't I go into my own post and edit it???

[muttleynfelix]

Hey gals, I guess I am bacl. 2011 has gotten off to a pretty rocky start.
Dec 27 - I was at work and coming back from a meeting mid afternoon. As I came upon an intersection where I had a green light, a stupid old lady turned into the intsection making a left hand turn to head the direction I was coming from. The direction she came from is one way in the OPPOSITE direction. Since we only have liability on the car (its a '98), we had to wait until she did everything on her side of the claim so that we could get a rental which I did not get until yesterday.

We spent the 30th through 3rd at my parents house. DS didn't sleep the first 2 nights we were there and DH and I got in a fight with each other in front of my entire family. Fortunately it got better, but still not great.

We got home and got our first bill for our new car and found out we'd been had. The financing department slipped in a maintenance contract that increased our total cost nearly $2k!!!! I am so upset by that and yes I signed it. I did our budget for 2011 and we have no room for error. Oh and my work is so slow that my boss signed up for a program where I may be laid off 2 days a week (I would receive unemployment, but the max unemployment in MO is super tiny).

So here I am. Ticked off at the world and realizing I need to start caring about things I don't have the energy to really care about.

January Goals:
Work out
Date Night with DH
A little party for DS
Meal plan
Stay on budget


2011 Goals,:
They are general, not really financial, but we all know it goes together: Monthly Date Nights with DH, Family Dinners together; Get and Stay Organized; workout


Why I'm Here:
4 years ago, DH and I had just got finished building our house and then poof we were out of our house for 2 weeks because of an ice storm. DH also spent the 6 out of the first 10 weeks we lived in that house unemployed (and not receiving unemployment). So, we started pulling it all together and holy cow our money was out of control. DH had about $6k of CC debt he hadn't told me about. So we started to get it together and paid off the CC debt in a few months, but by then DH started having medical problems that would follow us around for over 3 years (hopefully they are finally resolved). His first insurance company would not pay some of those bills so we got saddled with some medical bills we weren't prepared for, plus I had a car payment. By the end of 2008, we were debt free besides a mortgage, then in Jan 2009 DH was laid off (he had surgery on Friday and his department was eliminated on Monday). We decided that we would go ahead and start a family and DH would be a SAHD. In Jan 2010, we had our son. He is a sweetie. And here I am. Still here. I started in on the no spending stuff in the Summer of 2007, but I have hung around for the friendships.

Who I am:
29 yo, working Missouri mom to the world's coolest 11.5 month old, wife to an awesome SAHD (age almost 46)

QOTW: Don't ask. LOL. We have a profit sharing program at work (profits, what profits the last 5 months) and it gets contributed to (I am 70% vested or so, 2.5 years to go until I am fully vested, god willing). DH and I have ROTH IRAs that each have about $10k in, but we have not contributed to in 2 years. We also each have SIMPLE IRAs from a previous employer with about $5k between the two of us (we need to do something with these).

So, there it is. That is me. That is what we are up to.

[redwagon]

Muttley - so good to see you back! Can't believe the little one is almost ONE!! I hope you don't get laid off twice a week... a rough winter for many on this thread, it seems.

Honey, 3cats - oh my the Prince story made me tear up so bad. Over Christmas was the first time I realized Mia, my first pet ever, is getting old. She let me pet her for once (ever since I went to college she pretty much hates me), and I just cried and cried at the thought of her going over the Rainbow Bridge. So this story definitely touched a spot in my heart...

Honey - where is the recipe for potato and leek soup? Love that stuff!

[shanendoah]

(Its a very quiet day at work.)
azmom: *hugs* stop beating yourself up. Sometimes, you deserve to take care of you and do the things you want, and sometimes DH needs to hear how frustrating it can be when it doesn't happen. We all have our breakdowns from time to time and for some reason, they refuse to come at convenient times. You and DH will both get over it, pull on your big girl/boy pants and move on. And trust me, I understand the difficulty involved in not saying things like "you told me there would be an extra $1k this pay check". Though in my case, what I have to try hard not to say is "I don't care that you made dinner every night this week, I went to work every day this week." We know the wives we want to be, but we don't always achieve it. The important part is that we keep trying.
Honey: ooh, potato leek soup. I'll have DH take a look for recipes that look good to him.
muttley: welcome back. I wish you were coming back in other circumstances (like just because you missed us), but we're glad to have you anyway.
blogs: I have blogs for red_wagon, mrsl, startsmart, honey, and renee, and the CS/NS blog. I saw that one had a link to lots of other people's blogs. Do any of you mind if I link to your blogs from mine?

[shanendoah]

Honey: use the "Modify" button at the top of the post

[Honeylioness]

shanendoah & red_wagon: My recipe for Potato Leek soup can be found as the first entry on this page honeylioness.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=food&action=display&thread=30&page=1

[Honeylioness]

shanendoah - See, that is the problem. I use ProBoards all the time ... however with this one there is not Modify button at the top of the post

[azmom]

Mrs. Lynch: I feel for you. DH was in the same situation a few years ago before he switched jobs and our move. I remember how miserable he was..it was heartbreaking to watch. He took a huge leap of faith switching career paths and then again with our move. Although, his job gets to be a bit stressful it is a good kind of stress because even on the worse day he loves his job. We are only 15 minutes the most (and that is with heavy traffic and an accident) away from his work. Even though he works long hours he is able to take a "lunch" and make it to the kids extra curricular activities because he is only minutes away. He used to have 2 hours in commute time-minimum! I hope and I pray that things turn around for you. I'm glad you are able to come here and vent about it. I, and am sure the rest of these gals, will be the first to celebrate (virtual style of course) when you are able to leave your misery behind. I hope and pray it is sooner than later but in the meantime we are here for you!
Mizbear: I think I am the queen of holding it all in and exploding at the wrong moments and poor DH bares the brunt of my anger and doesn't deserve it at all. He has to deal with my ups and downs with issues with my mom and my dads death even though he doesn't really understand my emotional mess. He is my rock and I love him for it.
Muttleyn: WOW...welcome back sorry it is under those circumstances. I can't believe you DS is going to be a year...I agree he is such the cutie.
Okay ladies I have had my little pity party and I am over it (I think)...Thank you so much for allowing me to vent. I guess I am just really sick of never really getting ahead-even though in reality we are leaps and bounds ahead financially than we were when I first joined this thread. Before the thread this wouldn't even be an issue. I would just put the fee on a cc and not think twice about it! So I have had enough of me complaining about what I can't do and I need to focus on what I can do
CHALLENGE: I know it may seem silly but who cares....Name three things that you are thankful for AND one financial victory (no matter how small-even not buying the candles count)

[3catslady]

I have most of the blogs under Favorites and is my line long.
Shanen; Do you have a blog? If so, can I bookmark it?
By the way, I like all the smilies we have now except one but, that's okay. I won't ever use it.
azmom; Three things that I am thankful for are 1) having all you ladies here to guide me through life even though I am older than most of you, maybe all of you. 2)Having at least $1000 total in my checking and savings accounts. 3)That my 3 cats are healthy. 4)That I am using excel and really liking it.
The one thing that I am thankful for that is financially appropriate is being able to walk out of work and NOT going over to BK, Pizza Hut, or stopping for a hoagie on my way home because I want to clean out my pantry and freezer. I have your voices in the back of my head all the time when I want to buy something.

[shanendoah]

honey: That's odd, because I see the modify button at the top of all my posts...
3cats: If you look at my signature, there's a link to my daily blog. Fridays I'll be writing about something here in WIR or on YM. For today, the post is about this board. (Its only 100 words long, so not super in depth or anything.) If you can't see my signature, its at 100wordson.wordpress.com
I also have two other blogs, one where I run a micro-fiction contest (thank you red_wagon for becoming a follower ) and one about pets. You can find links to both of those in the "links" section of my main blog. I don't link to them here because they are ad supported, so someday I could make money off of them.

azmom's challenges: Things I am thankful for:

• DH
  
• Smokey
  
• Junebug
  

That probably shouldn't count, lets try this

• DH
  
• My writing critique group (for more than just the critique)
  
• A financial support group (ie you guys)
  

My one financial accomplishment is being able to pay for DH's school costs in cash. In the past, they would have gone on the CC with no real plan for paying them off.

[redwagon]

Honey - if you're logged in you should see three buttons at the top of each of your posts: quote, modify, and delete.

QOTW: I am thankful for having a job with great benefits while I search for a better job with more happiness; I am thankful for my family of blue, Boomer, and Dax; and I am thankful for the chips and dip I am about to have for lunch. Because when you stay home feeling like crap, basically you can eat whatever you want. Financially, I guess my victory is that we ate leftovers last night when I really wanted to order Chinese...

[3catslady]

shenan; I do have that marked. It is the first one on my Favorites line