How much have you spent to attend a wedding?

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

My cousin gets married tomorrow.
Because we could work it into our schedule, my DH and I are attending. I have not seen this set of cousins in almost 20 years, since our grandmother’s passing. I have seen my aunt and uncle a handful of times.

I live in a pretty low key part of society so have never been to a “destination” wedding. However, my cousin is having a fancy schmancy wedding.
It’s being held here

vintnersresort.com/


Have you been to a wedding that cost you a significant amount of money to attend?

[billisonboard]

Went to one that is costing me half of all my future earnings.

EDIT: my wife just pointed out she thinks she was at that same wedding.

[zibazinski]

Jun 23, 2023 19:27:10 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Went to one that is costing me half of all my future earnings.

EDIT: my wife just pointed out she thinks she was at that same wedding.

😂😂👍🏻

[busymom]

Nope, never been to one.  It would have to be for someone I was really close to, to spend the big money to travel.  


It looks like a nice place.      Let us know what the wedding is like, and what sort of "perks" you get while there.  

[tallguy]

Have you been to a wedding that cost you a significant amount of money to attend?

Family of four for a week on Maui at New Year's?  Yeah, I think so.   

Certainly didn't pay as much as the bride and groom did.  In addition to paying for the wedding itself, travel and lodging expenses for some of the guests, and other stuff, I heard their suite was $5000/night.     

[NoNamePerson]

Jun 23, 2023 19:27:10 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Went to one that is costing me half of all my future earnings.

EDIT: my wife just pointed out she thinks she was at that same wedding.

[wvugurl26]

Maybe $3000? Went to a wedding in the Bahamas. It was one of DH's cousins. It was really an excuse to go on vacation. If it didn't fit in the vacation budget, we wouldn't have gone.

There have been several in the $1000-$1500 range when you add up a couple nights in a hotel room, the associated meals, gas, tolls, clothes, etc.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Lot of weddings where we had to travel to attend.  Flights, hotels and car rentals run under $2000 usually.  

We were slated to go to a wedding at Beaches in Turks and Caicos.  Wedding got canceled just as I was getting ready to buy plane tickets.  

My niece is planning on getting married in Ireland next fall.  We are going to use the wedding as an excuse to vacation somewhere to be determined.  The wedding alone is likely going to run us about $4000.

[Artemis Windsong]

My GrD was going to get married somewhere in the Bahamas.  I'm glad she changed her mind and is getting married in a meadow the day before the Prairie Pothole Festival.  We can do a day trip.

I drove to WY twice for my twin nephews weddings that were 2 months apart.  I had a place to stay so it was gas and food.

[jerseygirl]

Grandson’s wedding in China. Paid for myself and daughter (his mom) business class to Beijing, hotels and of course wedding present ($ from Jerseyguy and myself) I

[daisylu]

It would have to be someone I was very close to, or a vacation I would like to take anyway.

Even still. Last year my cousin's son got married. I am very close to cousin and semi close to her son. The engaged couple live about an hour and a half from me. Bride's mom decided to do an afternoon tea in her hometown, 4 hours from me, on a Sunday. That was a no for me. Cousin has sisters who planned to attend - if they had not I would have traveled the day before to be there for my cousin.

I do not have to worry about spending big money for weddings in my family as the majority of them live paycheck to paycheck. Most have chosen not to get married anyway in order to continue getting various types of assistance.

[laterbloomer]

See I would look at that as taking a vacation and I happened to attend a wedding while I was there.

[TheOtherMe]

DN1 and his wife wanted to get married in Costa Rica.  They were told no one on his side of the family would be attending, so they had it locally.

I have flown from Colorado to Iowa for many weddings, but I will not be attending any destination weddings.

DN2 was in two on the East Coast and he says never again.  Cost is too high and he has a very good job.  On top of the travel expenses, a gift is expected and the two he attended, then had receptions here where another gift was expected.  

I'm happy most of my family is not well to do enough to even consider this.

[Cookies Galore]

Oooh! I want to go there!

Probably the most expensive wedding I attended (aside from my own) was probably my cousin's in Montauk? But even our share of the house we rented with some family wasn't too bad. But we treated it like a mini-vacation and had a couple of days to enjoy ourselves before the (lovely and fun) wedding.

I would love to attend a destination wedding somewhere on an island or at least a plane ride away. If it's a cool location then I'll turn it into a vacation with a wedding at the end; if it's lame, I'll send a gift with my regrets.

I'm pretty sure all the weddings I've attended have been in PA, NJ, NY, MD, VA. Oh, yeah, and my sister's in NC. They opted to get married while they were on vacation.

[jerseygirl]

A cousin went to Hawaii for the wedding (just bride and groom) but had the reception in a restaurant at home. They had a slide show of the Hawaiian wedding playing and gave out leis, had Hawaiian decorations. Nice because his elderly parents couldn’t travel there and everyone was able to ‘participate’ in Hawaii.
Seemed very thoughtful and the reception was fun!

[NoNamePerson]

Heck, I gotten to where I don't even send a gift for a year just to make sure it lasts!!  OK just jokin but have given it a thought concerning a few couples over the years!  But would attend a destination wedding if really close to couple. It just wasn't the "thing" back when I was going to weddings on a regular basis!!

Would make it a mini vacation and enjoy. 

[chiver78]

Jun 24, 2023 8:08:01 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

See I would look at that as taking a vacation and I happened to attend a wedding while I was there.

that's exactly how my college roommate and her now-DH framed their wedding adventure. they got married on the beach on a USVI (I forget which one) on one port day of a 7-day cruise. we had 50ish people in our group, and a few more met us at the wedding venue for the day. 

Chloe - that place looks gorgeous, and prices don't seem all that out of line comparable to the snazzier/snootier places on the Outer Cape. have a blast! 

[jeffreymo]

We went to Key West 10 or so years ago. I don’t really remember what it cost - maybe around $2k.

[thyme4change]

When my husband was in law school one of his friends (classmate) got married. She was the golden princess only child of doting parents. We went to the engagement party, where we were expected to bring booze to stock their pantry. I went to the shower, where I was suppose to get her a gift and also a contribution to the wishing well - which was suppose to be small kitchen items like wooden spoons, etc. The wedding was black tie, so my husband had to get a black suit or rent a tux - I can’t recall. I was expected to wear a floor length gown - but I was like 4 months pregnant. I got a dress at a thrift store for 20 bucks. The bride and her friends repeated the custom that your gift was supposed to equal the cost of your plate. The wedding was at the Ritz Carlton and she said how much the dinner was - way out of our budget at the time. We did not follow the custom but did give more than I wanted to do my husband wouldn’t be the butt of the joke. All her friends were students FFS! Luckily, it was right down the street so we drove and paid the valet.

After graduation, she got a job making 3x what my husband did. Her hubs was not only a high price lawyer, but also came from money. They divorced 5 years later and a few years after that she bought a 2 million house in the country club.

Not even close to the most we have spent, but given our financial situation at the time, it felt suffocating.

[chiver78]

Jun 24, 2023 16:24:56 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

When my husband was in law school one of his friends (classmate) got married. She was the golden princess only child of doting parents. We went to the engagement party, where we were expected to bring booze to stock their pantry. I went to the shower, where I was suppose to get her a gift and also a contribution to the wishing well - which was suppose to be small kitchen items like wooden spoons, etc. The wedding was black tie, so my husband had to get a black suit or rent a tux - I can’t recall. I was expected to wear a floor length gown - but I was like 4 months pregnant. I got a dress at a thrift store for 20 bucks. The bride and her friends repeated the custom that your gift was supposed to equal the cost of your plate. The wedding was at the Ritz Carlton and she said how much the dinner was - way out of our budget at the time. We did not follow the custom but did give more than I wanted to do my husband wouldn’t be the butt of the joke. All her friends were students FFS! Luckily, it was right down the street so we drove and paid the valet.

After graduation, she got a job making 3x what my husband did. Her hubs was not only a high price lawyer, but also came from money. They divorced 5 years later and a few years after that she bought a 2 million house in the country club.

Not even close to the most we have spent, but given our financial situation at the time, it felt suffocating.

however lavish the event in general, this statement here (esp from the bride) says exactly how tacky the couple, the family, and everything involved actually were. 

[thyme4change]

Jun 24, 2023 16:30:05 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Jun 24, 2023 16:24:56 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

When my husband was in law school one of his friends (classmate) got married. She was the golden princess only child of doting parents. We went to the engagement party, where we were expected to bring booze to stock their pantry. I went to the shower, where I was suppose to get her a gift and also a contribution to the wishing well - which was suppose to be small kitchen items like wooden spoons, etc. The wedding was black tie, so my husband had to get a black suit or rent a tux - I can’t recall. I was expected to wear a floor length gown - but I was like 4 months pregnant. I got a dress at a thrift store for 20 bucks. The bride and her friends repeated the custom that your gift was supposed to equal the cost of your plate. The wedding was at the Ritz Carlton and she said how much the dinner was - way out of our budget at the time. We did not follow the custom but did give more than I wanted to do my husband wouldn’t be the butt of the joke. All her friends were students FFS! Luckily, it was right down the street so we drove and paid the valet.

After graduation, she got a job making 3x what my husband did. Her hubs was not only a high price lawyer, but also came from money. They divorced 5 years later and a few years after that she bought a 2 million house in the country club.

Not even close to the most we have spent, but given our financial situation at the time, it felt suffocating.

however lavish the event in general, this statement here (esp from the bride) says exactly how tacky the couple, the family, and everything involved actually were. 

I thought so too. I wasn’t in the conversation and my husband said it ‘wasn’t like that’. Not sure what it was like, but I suspect that the bride’s best friend was making fun of one of the crew and said something like “he will probably only get you a ten dollar gift” - but I don’t know. That crew was a whole thing and I tried to be as “not my circus, not my monkeys” about them as possible.

[chiver78]

sounds like you dodged a bullet in maybe having to be sociable with that bitch. a gift is a gift, and my gift isn't my fare to cover what you chose to spend on inviting me to share your day. I earn a lot more than the average bear, and I gift to scale (even while WIR-racing), but if I feel like someone's looking at a cash grab, I've been known to adjust accordingly as well. good on you for fluffing it off. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Let's tally it up for this weekend. 
Gas $110
Dress for me $145 (Which is super annoying because I have formal dresses. I've just put on too much weight in the last year to wear them.)
One morning of Starbucks $15.05
Charles Schulz Museum $24
Lunch Friday $54
Dinner Friday $155
Resort Lodging $935
Golf (9) $70
Walmart $18.95 (My husband forgot that not every summer day is 90F and had to buy a long-sleeve shirt.  )
Breakfast Sunday $22.50
Lunch Sunday $44.57


Total: $1570.07

Now, the museum and golf was certainly our choice and had little to do with the wedding. 
We absolutely could have eaten elsewhere for much less. 
My mother paid for lunch on Saturday. 

[CCL]

Plus whatever you spent on gifts.

[TheOtherMe]

That amount of money is a hard no from me unless I was already planning a trip there.

[chiver78]

sounds like you made a fun weekend out of it, with some time spent on yourselves. 👍

[Cookies Galore]

Jun 25, 2023 18:59:22 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Let's tally it up for this weekend. 
Gas $110
Dress for me $145 (Which is super annoying because I have formal dresses. I've just put on too much weight in the last year to wear them.)
One morning of Starbucks $15.05
Charles Schulz Museum $24
Lunch Friday $54
Dinner Friday $155
Resort Lodging $935
Golf (9) $70
Walmart $18.95 (My husband forgot that not every summer day is 90F and had to buy a long-sleeve shirt.  )
Breakfast Sunday $22.50
Lunch Sunday $44.57


Total: $1570.07

Now, the museum and golf was certainly our choice and had little to do with the wedding. 
We absolutely could have eaten elsewhere for much less. 
My mother paid for lunch on Saturday. 

You did better than I would have in Sonoma wine country! I'd be hitting up a couple of wineries and breweries to bring some bottles home! I'd be in heaven if I ever get to Willamette Valley.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Just about every wedding I have been to have been ‘destination’ weddings for me, except for the marriage of local friends.  This was one of the reasons why TD and I got married the way we did.  Just about every family member would need to pay for flights, hotel rooms and rental cars. 

Even my nephew getting married last year in Fargo, we still dropped $1500 for flights, car rental and hotel.  

[debthaven]

Sounds like you had fun Knee Deep in Water Chloe !

The most we ever spent was going to NY for both my niece's weddings ... all six of us! 

DN1 got married in late August so five of us went on a road trip on the west coast first. (DS1 met up with us in NY for the wedding.) DN2 got married on a long weekend in May. (We all took 2 more days off for that.)

We stayed with my sister, so we didn't pay for accommodation. Obviously paying for six transatlantic flights (twice) wasn't cheap. (Plus clothes for some of us, plus gifts.)

These weddings were about 20 years ago so I don't remember what it cost us to attend. 

[ners]

Have no idea how much it cost in total to attend either of DF's nephew's weddings.

Both involved flights from northern Ohio to California.  One into LA and the other to San Francisco.

There was also hotels & rental cars.

I was sad because I my cousin who lived in Northridge was arriving back into the country the day we were leaving, and I was unable to visit with her.  Did visit her brother who lived in Pasadena.  We went to a Dodgers game. 

With the nephew where we flew into San Francisco we spent a couple of days exploring San Franciso including a Giants game.  The actual wedding was near Sacramento, so we drove up there and spent a night near the venue.  

Knee Deep in Water Chloe How was the Charles Schulz Museum.  My DF is a big Snappy fan, and we went to an exhibit at The Ohio State University and heard about the Charles Schulz Museum.