djAdvocate
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Post by djAdvocate on Jun 4, 2023 16:35:13 GMT -5
yes. the basic idea is that white people, particularly white men, fear equality- because that means depriving them of the advantages they have had for centuries. it is sometimes called "loss of status". if you boil it down to it's raw essence, white men have had an advantage in the US that dates back to colonial times. owing to this advantage, they have not had to work as hard as women and non-whites to achieve things. HALF of where the resentment comes from having to work harder. the OTHER half comes from not being given advantage as a birthright. the second half has a racist element to it. the former is just pure lazy. An important element to this is how this gets tied in with religion. White men arrived at the savage North American continent and ultimately seized control of it, forcing the natives and enslaved people into second class citizen roles because God created whites in His image, so whites are the only ones capable of running things. The non white should be grateful they are allowed to live in this great country, and that they had the opportunity to be converted to Christianity and not damned to hell. And of course, Eve was born from Adams’ rib, so a woman claiming equality with men is being sacrilegious. So any push back against whites running things isn’t just anti - white, to the subset of white people that believe it. It’s literally going against God’s will. I remember a GF who, years ago, packed up her crap and left her husband, and as she drove out of the driveway he came running out of the house in his boxers, waving a Bible at her and yelling that leaving him was going against the will of God and he would punish her for it. GF said he had never stepped foot into a church since their wedding, and she was amazed he had a Bible and knew where it was in the house. This guy never paid her child support for their three kids, only taking jobs where he got paid under the table so she couldn’t garnish his wages, always insisting she didn’t deserve it because she sinned by divorcing him. Even when he remarried and had another set of kids. i am speechless. hopefully she did better the next time. she could hardly do worse. |
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jun 4, 2023 17:32:26 GMT -5
i am speechless. hopefully she did better the next time. she could hardly do worse.
I'm not. There are many men like that. My ex was Jewish but not religious, and I never got a nickel in child support. It's like we didn't exist anymore.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jun 4, 2023 17:52:02 GMT -5
An important element to this is how this gets tied in with religion. White men arrived at the savage North American continent and ultimately seized control of it, forcing the natives and enslaved people into second class citizen roles because God created whites in His image, so whites are the only ones capable of running things. The non white should be grateful they are allowed to live in this great country, and that they had the opportunity to be converted to Christianity and not damned to hell. And of course, Eve was born from Adams’ rib, so a woman claiming equality with men is being sacrilegious. So any push back against whites running things isn’t just anti - white, to the subset of white people that believe it. It’s literally going against God’s will. I remember a GF who, years ago, packed up her crap and left her husband, and as she drove out of the driveway he came running out of the house in his boxers, waving a Bible at her and yelling that leaving him was going against the will of God and he would punish her for it. GF said he had never stepped foot into a church since their wedding, and she was amazed he had a Bible and knew where it was in the house. This guy never paid her child support for their three kids, only taking jobs where he got paid under the table so she couldn’t garnish his wages, always insisting she didn’t deserve it because she sinned by divorcing him. Even when he remarried and had another set of kids. i am speechless. hopefully she did better the next time. she could hardly do worse. What really pissed me off was years later, when I knew her and her ex owed 14k in back child support, he got picked up for something (traffic stop, can’t remember what for) and they saw he was behind on child support payments and were going to keep him in jail until he worked out arrangements to pay them. I told My friend to let him rot in jail, she might finally see some money, but she felt bad because his current wife was a SAHM and only had him for support, so she went to the jail and signed something to get him released. I was furious, but of course didn’t say anything- not my business. I doubt she ever saw any money from him. |
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djAdvocate
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Post by djAdvocate on Jun 4, 2023 18:00:06 GMT -5
i am speechless. hopefully she did better the next time. she could hardly do worse. What really pissed me off was years later, when I knew her and her ex owed 14k in back child support, he got picked up for something (traffic stop, can’t remember what for) and they saw he was behind on child support payments and were going to keep him in jail until he worked out arrangements to pay them. I told My friend to let him rot in jail, she might finally see some money, but she felt bad because his current wife was a SAHM and only had him for support, so she went to the jail and signed something to get him released. I was furious, but of course didn’t say anything- not my business. I doubt she ever saw any money from him. when dealing with real bastards, don't assume that they will suddenly become angels if you are kind to them. they will do what comes naturally to them. fuck you over. |
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jun 4, 2023 18:06:58 GMT -5
What really pissed me off was years later, when I knew her and her ex owed 14k in back child support, he got picked up for something (traffic stop, can’t remember what for) and they saw he was behind on child support payments and were going to keep him in jail until he worked out arrangements to pay them. I told My friend to let him rot in jail, she might finally see some money, but she felt bad because his current wife was a SAHM and only had him for support, so she went to the jail and signed something to get him released. I was furious, but of course didn’t say anything- not my business. I doubt she ever saw any money from him. when dealing with real bastards, don't assume that they will suddenly become angels if you are kind to them. they will do what comes naturally to them. fuck you over. Wish the MAGA crowd could figure that out.  |
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Jun 4, 2023 18:14:54 GMT -5
i am speechless. hopefully she did better the next time. she could hardly do worse. What really pissed me off was years later, when I knew her and her ex owed 14k in back child support, he got picked up for something (traffic stop, can’t remember what for) and they saw he was behind on child support payments and were going to keep him in jail until he worked out arrangements to pay them. I told My friend to let him rot in jail, she might finally see some money, but she felt bad because his current wife was a SAHM and only had him for support, so she went to the jail and signed something to get him released. I was furious, but of course didn’t say anything- not my business. I doubt she ever saw any money from him. Why were you angry? Were you disappointed that she showed ruth? She must have known that she was never going to get a dime from him, and that he had other children and a new wife who was less resourceful than herself. I don't know what she signed, or if it was truthful, but springing him might have preserved whatever employment he had, and freed her from any expectation that he would ever pay what he already owed or whatever he was going to owe in the future. Forgiving an uncollectible debt often benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven. |
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Jun 4, 2023 18:34:26 GMT -5
Oh nuts! I just realized what I just said and the context in which I just said it.
I'll stand by the basic premise that realizing that a debt is uncollectible can be liberating for the person owed. I just wish that I hadn't said it in this particular context.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 4, 2023 23:37:33 GMT -5
Oh nuts! I just realized what I just said and the context in which I just said it.
I'll stand by the basic premise that realizing that a debt is uncollectible can be liberating for the person owed. I just wish that I hadn't said it in this particular context.
Actually it would not have been un-collectible. While be could have avoided paying while working the law does allow for partial garnishment of his social security payments. Assholes deserve to be treated as the assholes they are IMO. Would I spend any energy on that? Probably not. But I might have made sure he knew what I could do for at least starting at age 62 (so he could "enjoy" that idea for at least a decade - perhaps longer. ETA: efore you feel sorry for my ex, we never had .money related problems so I most certainly did not pull that stunt. |
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jun 5, 2023 8:58:42 GMT -5
Oh nuts! I just realized what I just said and the context in which I just said it.
I'll stand by the basic premise that realizing that a debt is uncollectible can be liberating for the person owed. I just wish that I hadn't said it in this particular context.
Actually it would not have been un-collectible. While be could have avoided paying while working the law does allow for partial garnishment of his social security payments. Assholes deserve to be treated as the assholes they are IMO. Would I spend any energy on that? Probably not. But I might have made sure he knew what I could do for at least starting at age 62 (so he could "enjoy" that idea for at least a decade - perhaps longer. ETA: efore you feel sorry for my ex, we never had .money related problems so I most certainly did not pull that stunt. This. My ex worked under the table my daughter's whole life in order to avoid paying. His mom enabled him by financing everything he wanted under her name. I could have had him jailed anytime, but he left us alone which was more important to me than the money or revenge. We most definitely struggled, but the we always had a roof over our heads, lights on, and food to eat. My credit took a beating for about a decade due to medical bills, but we managed - even paid for her college OOP. He went on to have at least 5 more kids that he never paid CS for and is now almost 50, still staying with whatever friend will have him for a while. Him mom passed when DD(24) was 8. I am amazed that I have not run into him in the small area in which we live since DD was 4. My dad did at a convenience store by his house just after she graduated high school. He did ask about her (has not seen her since she 3YO) and dad did say she graduated but if he wanted to know anything else he would have to contact me. One of her sisters reached out over social media and they met up a few times with another sister, but DD wanted nothing to do with the sperm donor and one left drugs in her car - that was enough to cut them out for her. Sometimes it is just not worth the hassle. I did have a good support system between my parents and siblings, not everyone has that. |
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Jun 5, 2023 13:15:10 GMT -5
Oh nuts! I just realized what I just said and the context in which I just said it.
I'll stand by the basic premise that realizing that a debt is uncollectible can be liberating for the person owed. I just wish that I hadn't said it in this particular context.
Actually it would not have been un-collectible. While be could have avoided paying while working the law does allow for partial garnishment of his social security payments. Assholes deserve to be treated as the assholes they are IMO. Would I spend any energy on that? Probably not. But I might have made sure he knew what I could do for at least starting at age 62 (so he could "enjoy" that idea for at least a decade - perhaps longer. ETA: efore you feel sorry for my ex, we never had .money related problems so I most certainly did not pull that stunt. What social security payments? He's working off the books. He'll probably, eventually, receive some sort of social security benefits but they'll probably be so low that they are entirely protected from garnishment.
Even if the benefits that he eventually receives are large enough that something can be garnished, the amount that she will eventually receive will almost certainly be so small that the child support arrears will never be satisfied. If the most that she's ever going to get is $20 a month for as long as they both live after he starts getting benefits, it doesn't really matter how much he owes her. She's only going to collect a tiny portion of it.
Almost all of this debt is uncollectible and more is being added. She gave up nothing. She gained the freedom to wish him dead.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jun 5, 2023 15:20:55 GMT -5
What really pissed me off was years later, when I knew her and her ex owed 14k in back child support, he got picked up for something (traffic stop, can’t remember what for) and they saw he was behind on child support payments and were going to keep him in jail until he worked out arrangements to pay them. I told My friend to let him rot in jail, she might finally see some money, but she felt bad because his current wife was a SAHM and only had him for support, so she went to the jail and signed something to get him released. I was furious, but of course didn’t say anything- not my business. I doubt she ever saw any money from him. Why were you angry? Were you disappointed that she showed ruth? She must have known that she was never going to get a dime from him, and that he had other children and a new wife who was less resourceful than herself. I don't know what she signed, or if it was truthful, but springing him might have preserved whatever employment he had, and freed her from any expectation that he would ever pay what he already owed or whatever he was going to owe in the future. Forgiving an uncollectible debt often benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven. I was mad at him because he should have been a man and gotten the best paying job he could do so he could support his kids, and mad at her for not pushing him to support them - their lives were worse because he acted like a baby and only gave money to his second family. Instead once again this idiot was enabled and allowed to go back to his selfish behavior. True he didn’t have the money and his new wife and kid would be hurt if he stayed in jail, but that’s the fallout from his own shitty behavior. |
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