Sexual Harassment or Other

[billisonboard]

Mar 25, 2023 10:04:27 GMT -5 Opti said:

Mar 25, 2023 9:04:16 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Or in this case:

If he really was getting unwanted calls, why hasn't he blocked them to stop it? If its so awful why not change phone numbers, problem would be solved. Does he have any proof he is getting unwanted calls, that they got his number from her, and lastly  are they repeat calls with actual messages or texts for proof?

He's complaining about something, and he needs to prove its not just talk. I would request the same of a woman complaining about the same thing.

We are not on a level playing field gender wise when it comes to harassment and violence. Men are far more prone overall to harassing women and even killing those women they are obsessed with than the reverse situation. Not too long ago, a man got convicted of killing a female coworker on his lunch hour. A young female adult was found slaughtered in a company breakroom after the only accommodation mgmt gave her was to not work on the same shift. To get OT, that manager only offered her shifts with him also on duty and she unfortunately accepted one and ended up dead. 

The degree to which accusers have the responsibility to provide the proof can present a challenge.

Clearly we need to teach boys to better handle emotions so they do not grow up to be violent men.

[Opti]

www.nj.com/middlesex/2022/10/nj-man-charged-in-co-workers-death-tried-to-have-detective-killed-cops-say.html

Probably not a romance situation, but reminds me of the temp male nurse killing in NNJ.
nj1015.com/death-by-hammer-co-worker-killed-by-colleague-at-nj-office-cops-say/

www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/minnesota-woman-killed-by-co-worker-after-rejecting-his-advances/ar-AA13tVUH

news.yahoo.com/teen-girl-killed-walgreens-break-163447593.html
When he went to the store to investigate further, he said he “found a body in the break room” with “blood everywhere”.



Responding officers wrote in a report that “there was a large amount of blood on the floor around the head of the victim,” with a significant amount of blood stained onto the “the floor, cabinets, and counter of the break room”.

Did find one on the flip side, but the woman is a male to female transgender so I don't know her prior state of maleness influenced her more recent actions or not.
//knewz.com/florida-woman-machete-attack/

[billisonboard]

Mar 25, 2023 10:15:52 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Mar 25, 2023 10:09:34 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

That is confusing to me. Why would he ask her to not contact him on his personal phone unless she was contacting him on his personal phone? And the blocking him sounds like, "Well if you don't want me to call you on your personal phone, I am going to make sure you can't call me on mine."

They were contacting each other via personal phones. He then decided he did not want her to contact him on his personal phone and requested she only use his work cell, so yes she blocked him so that he could not contact her personal phone (she did not have a work cell).

Trying to understand how him asking her not call his personal phone is evidence of him harassing her.

[Opti]

Mar 25, 2023 10:26:15 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Mar 25, 2023 10:04:27 GMT -5 Opti said:

He's complaining about something, and he needs to prove its not just talk. I would request the same of a woman complaining about the same thing.

We are not on a level playing field gender wise when it comes to harassment and violence. Men are far more prone overall to harassing women and even killing those women they are obsessed with than the reverse situation. Not too long ago, a man got convicted of killing a female coworker on his lunch hour. A young female adult was found slaughtered in a company breakroom after the only accommodation mgmt gave her was to not work on the same shift. To get OT, that manager only offered her shifts with him also on duty and she unfortunately accepted one and ended up dead. 

The degree to which accusers have the responsibility to provide the proof can present a challenge.

Clearly we need to teach boys to better handle emotions so they do not grow up to be violent men.

Yes getting proof is problematic, but damaging workers employment over made up stories is even more problematic. I agree boys could use training to better handle emotions but apparently so could some girls. Female coworker on female coworker shootings appear to be up if news stories on such are any indication of reality.

[daisylu]

Mar 25, 2023 10:32:20 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Mar 25, 2023 10:15:52 GMT -5 daisylu said:

They were contacting each other via personal phones. He then decided he did not want her to contact him on his personal phone and requested she only use his work cell, so yes she blocked him so that he could not contact her personal phone (she did not have a work cell).

Trying to understand how him asking her not call his personal phone is evidence of him harassing her.

The harrassment is him going to her male manager, instead of HR who likely would have thrown everthing out without evidence but kept a record, and the manager addressing the "relationship" outside of HR. He only went to the manager after she blocked him from contacting her on her personal phone. Both are causing her work issues outside of the company protocols.

ETA - We work in a male predominate field, and I have experienced sexual harassment for decades. I have always taken the grin and bear it approach, while I worked 10 times harder than male counterparts. Now that I am getting older I am done putting up with that BS, so I admit that I touchy on the subject.

[Opti]

All the recent training I've had on harassment is that you go to your manager, not the other person's manager. To HR if you have spoken to your manager and you feel it did not help or HR if you feel speaking with your manager will be counterproductive. 

[billisonboard]

Mar 25, 2023 13:31:50 GMT -5 Opti said:

All the recent training I've had on harassment is that you go to your manager, not the other person's manager. To HR if you have spoken to your manager and you feel it did not help or HR if you feel speaking with your manager will be counterproductive. 

the manager clearly needed to shut down IT guy immediately and inform him of proper protocol. He should have not discussed things with the woman employee. Consequence for the IT guy should be based on his history. This strange/weird guy went out to dinner a couple times with a fifty year old grandmother. Assume he is a not young, not married and perhaps not that socially adept. Granted if he has a history that shows he should've known how to deal with this properly, he should be nailed for this. Otherwise I place a lot of the responsibility on the manager.

[daisylu]

Mar 25, 2023 13:56:09 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Mar 25, 2023 13:31:50 GMT -5 Opti said:

All the recent training I've had on harassment is that you go to your manager, not the other person's manager. To HR if you have spoken to your manager and you feel it did not help or HR if you feel speaking with your manager will be counterproductive. 

the manager clearly needed to shut down IT guy immediately and inform him of proper protocol. He should have not discussed things with the woman employee. Consequence for the IT guy should be based on his history. This strange/weird guy went out to dinner a couple times with a fifty year old grandmother. Assume he is a not young, not married and perhaps not that socially adept. Granted if he has a history that shows he should've known how to deal with this properly, he should be nailed for this. Otherwise I place a lot of the responsibility on the manager.

IT guy is over 40. I agree that the manager is an issue.

[Opti]

Yes the manager should have shut down the IT guy. Managers get reputations. I wonder if this one is known not to protect his female employees and have some problematic ideas about male/female employee interactions.

[laterbloomer]

Mar 25, 2023 10:32:20 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Mar 25, 2023 10:15:52 GMT -5 daisylu said:

They were contacting each other via personal phones. He then decided he did not want her to contact him on his personal phone and requested she only use his work cell, so yes she blocked him so that he could not contact her personal phone (she did not have a work cell).

Trying to understand how him asking her not call his personal phone is evidence of him harassing her.

I'm having a bit of trouble understanding the phone thing as well. Were they talking about work on personal phones? Were they talking about personal matters and what he meant was he didn't want to talk about personal stuff anymore? Does she need to contact him for work things? How is she supposed to do this? And what kind of calls does he say he's getting? Has he been harassing her and she had someone tell him to back off? Mind you this is just me being nosy. Her manager should not have talked to her, her manager has no business being informed about her private life, she needs to tell HR about this to report both IT guy and her manager and start a paper trail.