How to leave house to kids

[Deleted]

May 21, 2022 11:57:32 GMT -5 Bonny said:

May 20, 2022 11:57:21 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

swamp Thank you. I will for sure be using a lawyer, but I just looked up life estate deed, and sounds interesting. I'm wondering if the retirement park/community will allow it, or if they have no say in the deed. One of the rules is you have to be 55, and my DD is only 31. It sounds like this deed would make her owner, with us as tenants.

You will need to read the rules carefully. Most of them require that a person 55 and older reside in the unit which would allow your DD to rent out the property until she becomes eligible to move in herself if she wants. You should also check to see if rentals are allowable as well. In any case a retirement community would allow her to sell it if she isn't eligible to live there. They can't confiscate your property.

We looked closely at a very pricy 55+ community but abandoned the idea when they would not disclose how many of their units were rented out vs. owner-occupied.  They were also ambivalent on the age of tenants so were concerned about useless druggy nephew moving into aunt's unit when she went off to assisted living.  At $300,000-$500,000 per unit, I wanted firmer answers than we got.  State court rulings here have favored younger spouses having right of tenancy after the older partner is disabled or deceased.  

[TheOtherMe]

A woman who attended the church where I used to live had a life estate to whatever property she was living when her husband died.

The marriage was not good and they didn't talk.  I was at the house once to help her with her computer and he never even said hello to me or acknowledge my existence as he came and went from the kitchen, which is where we were.

He came home one day and told her they were moving to the independent living facility where my parents lived.  She saw an attorney to make sure the paperwork she had would allow her to live in that facility.  It had a buy in.  He had never put her on the title to his house which is why she had the life estate.  We had seen the two bedroom unit they moved in to and it was big and spacious.  They each had a bedroom and bath.

When they went to sign the paperwork to move in, he was quite surprised that she brought her attorney with her.  That was to make sure he fully understood that she would be entitled to live in the apartment should he die first.  He signed everything.

He had neglected to tell her he had terminal cancer.  He would say he was going to see his son and the son took him to his appointments.  If he had to go to the hospital, he would tell her he would be gone a few days.  She called the hospital and he did not give permission for her to be told anything.

The sons came and took him to one of their homes for hospice and he died.

Before the funeral, the two sons were at the office of the independent living center wanting to know when she would be leaving and when they got their money returned.  The office told them she would not be leaving now and they would get no money returned until she dies.  That was about 6 years ago now.

One of the sons has a vested interest in the money paid for the apartment because he took a second mortgage on his house to loan to his dad to get them in there.  

The husband also had forgotten to change his life insurance beneficiary from his legal wife (Her) to one of the sons.  She had gotten some paperwork to sign to allow that and never returned that.  The sons tried to get that money but got told they were not entitled to it.

They came in and took half of the food from the refrigerator when she wasn't home.  She had the locks changed and they were very upset.

She had not told people before all of this happened but he had been beating her for years.  I had seen bruises on her but she always had a reason about why they were there.

She has earned the right to stay in that apartment and the sons will get their money when she dies and not a minute sooner.  With all the emotional and physical abuse that was happening, she asked all kinds of people at the church if she should see an attorney.

I'm so happy she did see an attorney.

[finnime]

I'm very glad she wound up in a secure and safe position, TheOtherMe. How terrible to have lived with a controlling abuser and to face the possibility of losing it all on his death, and how good to know she got competent legal advice.

[lurkyloo]

We are in the process of setting up our will and trust.  The will with POA, etc documents was a flat fee of $2500 and the trust adds another $1500.  We are in a relatively high COL area of MD.

For us it makes sense to set up our trusts and fund them now, because we have real estate in two different states, we have a minor child with some special needs that mean we don’t want him having full control of everything the minute he turns 18, we trust our designated successor trustee more than the courts, and we want to maintain privacy of our assets (probate would be public knowledge).  I am not sure how the transfer on death option compares.

The lawyer said he and his wife have a trust that will be funded on their death according to their will, but that means everything still goes through probate. 

I think it is typical to set up a pour-over will that transfers everything not already in the trust, to the trust, but that portion has to go through probate.  My father had a trust that was set up with separate Family (benefits his kids) and Marital (supports his wife) trusts, since a chunk of assets came from my grandparents and we grandkids were the beneficiaries although Dad had full use of those assets during his lifetime.  Also because my mother is kind of nuts.

HTH.

[jerseygirl]

May 22, 2022 9:38:21 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

We are in the process of setting up our will and trust.  The will with POA, etc documents was a flat fee of $2500 and the trust adds another $1500.  We are in a relatively high COL area of MD.

For us it makes sense to set up our trusts and fund them now, because we have real estate in two different states, we have a minor child with some special needs that mean we don’t want him having full control of everything the minute he turns 18, we trust our designated successor trustee more than the courts, and we want to maintain privacy of our assets (probate would be public knowledge).  I am not sure how the transfer on death option compares.

The lawyer said he and his wife have a trust that will be funded on their death according to their will, but that means everything still goes through probate. 

I think it is typical to set up a pour-over will that transfers everything not already in the trust, to the trust, but that portion has to go through probate.  My father had a trust that was set up with separate Family (benefits his kids) and Marital (supports his wife) trusts, since a chunk of assets came from my grandparents and we grandkids were the beneficiaries although Dad had full use of those assets during his lifetime.  Also because my mother is kind of nuts.

HTH.

Do you think your special needs child will be able to handle money when 21? Or will help be needed for independent living?
Ask attorney about a Special Needs trust. Child will then be able to be eligible for help from state and federal (such as Medicaid, help with finances etc). If child inherits over $2000 (May change with time), child won’t be eligible

[lurkyloo]

I don’t think most kids are equipped to handle $6-10M+ at age 18...

Thanks for your concern.  He seems to just be maturing at a slower rate, typical for ADHD.  I don’t expect a special needs trust to be appropriate.  SIL will dole out living or other expenses if needed; we probably have too much already in 529 plans; his access to principal will be restricted until he’s 25-30.  We also want her to have the power to cover expenses for MIL/FIL in case of emergency.