Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jun 21, 2024 8:23:46 GMT -5
Add mayo and that's how I eat it. I do also tend to like the things others consider vile. Your only saving grace is that you aren’t using miracle whip! That stuff is made from demon seed. 🤮
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jun 21, 2024 8:26:52 GMT -5
DH is eating bologna sandwiches with “cheese” on “bread”. My mom, bless her, was the worst cook ever. I am serious. Just ask my DH or my sister. So one of our fav meals growing up was bologna and American cheese, on white bread, with mustard. My late sister would also crumble up potato chips and sprinkle those on her sandwich! It was hard to screw this meal up, even for my mom. I still love potato chips on sandwiches. We rarely keep chips in the house, so when we do have them I always excitedly make a cheese, yellow mustard, mayo, potato chips sandwich.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2024 8:30:34 GMT -5
And in other news I got a letter yesterday that the nursing home is petitioning that my grandmother be appointed a state appointed guardian. I read through it and they say my dad can't do it because he "abused" my grandmother according to the home. I don't want to do it and from reading the letter they claim I am not capable of handling it either.
I talked to my dad about it we're not going to contest it. There is nothing to fight for really. She only has $2000 to her name. If they want to milk Medicaid for medical costs then that is out of my control.
Any pennies leftover when she passes would have gone to Iowa anyhow.
I told dad it feels like they are winning but maybe having a state appointed person in-between us and the nursing home isn't a bad thing. Now they will have to deal with the state asking questions and will be expected to answer as opposed to stone walling us as family.
I assured him it can't be anyone from the home. I did "light" reading on the matter when I was researching POAs and it can't be anyone from the home because they have a hefty financial interest in grandma which is a conflict of interest. They can't be trusted to act in her best interest. It'll be a court system guardian.
Plus I am so fucking tired of old people shit. It damn near cost me my job just getting her finances in order because it took so much of my time and mental space. I am not going to spend money hiring a lawyer and trying to fight for guardianship and God forbid actually end up getting it.
I also joked we could make Bob do it. He hasn't had a turn yet. Not that he would be found responsible enough do it but there is some resentment on my part about how he's been smart/lucky enough to get away without helping in any size shape or form. He didn't even help us clean when he was in town. I wish I could wield weaponized incompetence like he can.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 21, 2024 8:32:10 GMT -5
ah....started off the day with a conflict. I finally got out of bed when the dogs started losing their minds that Mr from next door was outside with some tree guys. he told me they were coming to check out what he wanted cut, and "since it was my tree, I should be there as well." yah, okay.....here I am, waiting for you to put your hand out. so the guys point out what they would cut from not one, but TWO of my trees to clear the shiny new plantings to get some sun. and then they verbally quote $550, and Mr looks at me and asks if I'm okay with that? ah, no. I'm not paying anything here, I'm just OK'ing the work YOU want done on MY tree. I'm here to make sure the tree company knows that I'm not OK'ing anything that is going to damage my tree, but you want the work done, it's on you. he didn't like that, and I don't really GAF. but the tree guys did kind of start to smirk when I let out the "I'm just OK'ing the work YOU want done on MY tree..." line. I'm (not) sorry, but you bought your house in August. the very large tree has been here the entire time, and was in full leafy green splendor when you first viewed the listing and when you closed on the sale. did you think you were going to move in and slowly cut it down on my dime? you can go eff yourself.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 21, 2024 8:50:16 GMT -5
Re: all the money-related/feeling pinched posts - DH (still feels weird to type!) and I are more than comfy enough for the day to day stuff. XH is a computing manager at the same university he's been at forever, and I think his boss is grooming him to become a director or assistant director. So DS will be fine and we can all provide for him and ourselves.... but DH and my retirement accounts need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! We are relatively new to making "good money" in our careers (although DH argues that I'm still woefully underpaid), and my retirement/debt amount is still recovering from the divorce almost 10 years ago. DH has also been awful at saving for retirement, but he has a healthy-ish stock portfolio.
CC debt is now gone, my SL debt from my 2nd attempt at college is only at a couple thousand (seriously angry that no one shook me by the shoulders and said "THIS IS AN INSANELY BAD IDEA" before I did that), and DH wants to pay off the house ASAP. He put down a HUGE chunk for the down payment, so I also "owe" him money. It's like I'll never not owe some kind of money to someone or some stupid bank. I don't think about it most of the time, but when I do it's like a gut punch.
I'd like to stay at my company, but there's too much political game playing and too many people getting paid 6 figures while doing no real work whatsoever. So I'm planning to start up my SQL classes again and familiarize myself with Jira and other such platforms to pivot into tech. Hopefully I can do like 10-15 years in tech, we can sell this place, and then retire somewhere warm and cheap. I've become extremely nihilistic about the concept of work within capitalism and just want to break free from this hamster wheel.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 21, 2024 9:17:29 GMT -5
I guess that the reasons I don’t understand this, are the same reasons I’m not a good YM’er, even after learning how to manage my money better after I found this community. I try to take care of my future self with some of the money I earn today. That impacts the amount of money I have available to spend today, and I am okay with that. But from what I’ve read over the years, there are already things in place and funds available for your children to further their education beyond getting a high school diploma, if that’s what that want. So, some of your posts confuse me. I’m not going to get into all of the reasons why. I will just say that in my uneducated mind, your situation is such that you don’t really have to live like a poor person, or one without monetary means. It’s okay if you choose to live your life as a person with limited resources if that is what suits you. You are the primary breadwinner, working two jobs, with a spouse that you don’t even feel safe with because he has some kind of addiction. Just my unpopular opinion. I know. I have all sorts of feelings about this. I am allowed my feelings without out judgement. I also have been very clear that our short term outlook is always very different from our long term. Yes, we have a good enough NW. That's because we don't touch money and let it grow for a long time (think 30 years). Not because we make a decent enough income. That is very different than counting pennies to save money. I know we are not broke. We can make ends meet without looking in the couch cushions for change to put gas in the car. Food and our mortgage take half of my dayjob income. Kids costs are rising. Costs are rising in general. My wage has not kept up. We still don't make enough to really owe money on federal taxes. Our tax liability was like $100 last year. And that's with DS aging out of any good tax breaks. But, again, when food and your mortgage take half your dayjob income, there's not a ton left to go around. I also don't understand what cherry picking my stress/anxiety with DH has to do with anything? Financially, I trust him. That's not the issue here. That's never been the issue. I don't know how much you make, currently Pink. I'll spitball and guess 65K, give or take. Which is close to what I make at my dayjob. If you had to cover food, shelter, utilities, clothing, needs school supplies, gas for your car, and things for the house, and a few wants on that for 5.25 people, might you feel a little pinched? I apologized for the way my post came off, in total, and especially for mentioning the trust thing. I do get confused by some of your posts, but it’s not for me to understand, and I could’ve worded things a lot better. Again, I sincerely apologize.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jun 21, 2024 9:26:15 GMT -5
Re: all the money-related/feeling pinched posts - DH (still feels weird to type!) and I are more than comfy enough for the day to day stuff. XH is a computing manager at the same university he's been at forever, and I think his boss is grooming him to become a director or assistant director. So DS will be fine and we can all provide for him and ourselves.... but DH and my retirement accounts need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! We are relatively new to making "good money" in our careers (although DH argues that I'm still woefully underpaid), and my retirement/debt amount is still recovering from the divorce almost 10 years ago. DH has also been awful at saving for retirement, but he has a healthy-ish stock portfolio. CC debt is now gone, my SL debt from my 2nd attempt at college is only at a couple thousand (seriously angry that no one shook me by the shoulders and said "THIS IS AN INSANELY BAD IDEA" before I did that), and DH wants to pay off the house ASAP. He put down a HUGE chunk for the down payment, so I also "owe" him money. It's like I'll never not owe some kind of money to someone or some stupid bank. I don't think about it most of the time, but when I do it's like a gut punch. I'd like to stay at my company, but there's too much political game playing and too many people getting paid 6 figures while doing no real work whatsoever. So I'm planning to start up my SQL classes again and familiarize myself with Jira and other such platforms to pivot into tech. Hopefully I can do like 10-15 years in tech, we can sell this place, and then retire somewhere warm and cheap. I've become extremely nihilistic about the concept of work within capitalism and just want to break free from this hamster wheel. My unsolicited, free advice. Each of you should be contributing to your 401k plan to get the full match. You should also each open a ROTH (if you don't have one yet) and set up automatic month contributions. Set it and forget it. Also, even at 6 or 7%, you should not be paying off the mortgage early. You will be much better served, financially, to be funding retirement accounts with that money instead.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Jun 21, 2024 9:34:13 GMT -5
My mom, bless her, was the worst cook ever. I am serious. Just ask my DH or my sister. So one of our fav meals growing up was bologna and American cheese, on white bread, with mustard. My late sister would also crumble up potato chips and sprinkle those on her sandwich! It was hard to screw this meal up, even for my mom. I still love potato chips on sandwiches. We rarely keep chips in the house, so when we do have them I always excitedly make a cheese, yellow mustard, mayo, potato chips sandwich. I like putting potato chips on my sloppy joes.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 21, 2024 9:36:27 GMT -5
I still love potato chips on sandwiches. We rarely keep chips in the house, so when we do have them I always excitedly make a cheese, yellow mustard, mayo, potato chips sandwich. I like putting potato chips on my sloppy joes. potato chips on tuna salad sandwiches here.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 21, 2024 9:40:26 GMT -5
Re: all the money-related/feeling pinched posts - DH (still feels weird to type!) and I are more than comfy enough for the day to day stuff. XH is a computing manager at the same university he's been at forever, and I think his boss is grooming him to become a director or assistant director. So DS will be fine and we can all provide for him and ourselves.... but DH and my retirement accounts need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! We are relatively new to making "good money" in our careers (although DH argues that I'm still woefully underpaid), and my retirement/debt amount is still recovering from the divorce almost 10 years ago. DH has also been awful at saving for retirement, but he has a healthy-ish stock portfolio. CC debt is now gone, my SL debt from my 2nd attempt at college is only at a couple thousand (seriously angry that no one shook me by the shoulders and said "THIS IS AN INSANELY BAD IDEA" before I did that), and DH wants to pay off the house ASAP. He put down a HUGE chunk for the down payment, so I also "owe" him money. It's like I'll never not owe some kind of money to someone or some stupid bank. I don't think about it most of the time, but when I do it's like a gut punch. I'd like to stay at my company, but there's too much political game playing and too many people getting paid 6 figures while doing no real work whatsoever. So I'm planning to start up my SQL classes again and familiarize myself with Jira and other such platforms to pivot into tech. Hopefully I can do like 10-15 years in tech, we can sell this place, and then retire somewhere warm and cheap. I've become extremely nihilistic about the concept of work within capitalism and just want to break free from this hamster wheel. My unsolicited, free advice. Each of you should be contributing to your 401k plan to get the full match. You should also each open a ROTH (if you don't have one yet) and set up automatic month contributions. Set it and forget it. Also, even at 6 or 7%, you should not be paying off the mortgage early. You will be much better served, financially, to be funding retirement accounts with that money instead. believe me, I have tried to tell him MANY, MANY times about putting all that money toward retirement instead of paying off the house early, but he is dead set on paying it off early. He calculates the extra money being paid in interest and figures we are avoiding paying that money if we pay it off early. I tell him I agree, but if we take that "pay off early" money and put it into our 401ks (we do the match) and our brokerage accounts that we will make more money in growth/dividends than the interest we're accruing. His desire to pay off the house seems to be more of an emotional decision than a financial one - he is EXTREMELY debt-averse. He also says that once the house is paid off we can put that extra money toward our retirement. I remind him that we are losing out on the beneficial compound interest by delaying the loading of our retirement accounts. And we go round and round... it is what it is at this point.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jun 21, 2024 9:48:39 GMT -5
My unsolicited, free advice. Each of you should be contributing to your 401k plan to get the full match. You should also each open a ROTH (if you don't have one yet) and set up automatic month contributions. Set it and forget it. Also, even at 6 or 7%, you should not be paying off the mortgage early. You will be much better served, financially, to be funding retirement accounts with that money instead. believe me, I have tried to tell him MANY, MANY times about putting all that money toward retirement instead of paying off the house early, but he is dead set on paying it off early. He calculates the extra money being paid in interest and figures we are avoiding paying that money if we pay it off early. I tell him I agree, but if we take that "pay off early" money and put it into our 401ks (we do the match) and our brokerage accounts that we will make more money in growth/dividends than the interest we're accruing. His desire to pay off the house seems to be more of an emotional decision than a financial one - he is EXTREMELY debt-averse. He also says that once the house is paid off we can put that extra money toward our retirement. I remind him that we are losing out on the beneficial compound interest by delaying the loading of our retirement accounts. And we go round and round... it is what it is at this point. that is why personal finance is personal. you guys will make it work.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 21, 2024 9:54:38 GMT -5
And in other news I got a letter yesterday that the nursing home is petitioning that my grandmother be appointed a state appointed guardian. I read through it and they say my dad can't do it because he "abused" my grandmother according to the home. I don't want to do it and from reading the letter they claim I am not capable of handling it either. I talked to my dad about it we're not going to contest it. There is nothing to fight for really. She only has $2000 to her name. If they want to milk Medicaid for medical costs then that is out of my control. Any pennies leftover when she passes would have gone to Iowa anyhow. I told dad it feels like they are winning but maybe having a state appointed person in-between us and the nursing home isn't a bad thing. Now they will have to deal with the state asking questions and will be expected to answer as opposed to stone walling us as family. I assured him it can't be anyone from the home. I did "light" reading on the matter when I was researching POAs and it can't be anyone from the home because they have a hefty financial interest in grandma which is a conflict of interest. They can't be trusted to act in her best interest. It'll be a court system guardian. Plus I am so fucking tired of old people shit. It damn near cost me my job just getting her finances in order because it took so much of my time and mental space. I am not going to spend money hiring a lawyer and trying to fight for guardianship and God forbid actually end up getting it. I also joked we could make Bob do it. He hasn't had a turn yet. Not that he would be found responsible enough do it but there is some resentment on my part about how he's been smart/lucky enough to get away without helping in any size shape or form. He didn't even help us clean when he was in town. I wish I could wield weaponized incompetence like he can. Drama, my rep payee volunteer work came to an end in part because the nursing homes were taking over as the financial guardian on their Medicaid patients.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 21, 2024 9:59:19 GMT -5
Add mayo and that's how I eat it. I do also tend to like the things others consider vile. Your only saving grace is that you aren’t using miracle whip! That is something you will never find in my house. Helman's all the way!
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 21, 2024 10:01:51 GMT -5
NOw I want a sloppy joe for dinner with chips. For lunch, a tuna in a flour tortilla with chips.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 21, 2024 10:02:23 GMT -5
So what the counselor was getting to with the intellectual equivalent of a fifth grader thing, was about expectations and a person’s capacity to meet those expectations. She likes talking about “renegotiating the contract” when circumstances or a situation changes. For example, on my end, when I was missing so much work due to my stomach issues, Mister and should have talked about what that meant for us, as far as me not being able to do certain things at the same level I had been. On his side, when he got all stressed out trying to take care of his parents and all of the emotions he was dealing with because of that and then them dying, he did not have the same capacity to operate IRT to our relationship, that he’d had before. I don’t really feel like there was a conversation we should’ve had about about him not showing up in our relationship like he had been before all of that, because my common sense told me why it was happening and I understood. I did eventually initiate conversations about him shutting me out to the degree that he did and him being mean to me after that started. That part was not understandable or acceptable to me. I already understood all of that on my own, about being realistic about a person’s capacity, whether it’s just who they are or because something has happened to change their capacity for certain things. I’m just using those 2 examples because I’ve already talked about those 2 situations here. He does have new skills he needs to learn or relearn, like geenamercile figured, so that was part of it too, but not the biggest part of what I have issues with, expect for the part where it relates to him and his daughters. I hope that clears things up some. I’m certainly on board with being realistic about a person’s capacity. It’s also necessary to think long term. If his capacity never increases, are you OK with that? Similarly, managing development is work. Can you trust Mister to be self motivated about gradually growing his capacity, with support from you and guidance from a counselor? Or are you forever going to be nagging him to pick up the emotional dirty socks and underwear from under the bed and put them in the metaphorical hamper? It’s a process, it’s not easy, and while I have no doubt that as you get your health issues fixed you’ll gradually get back to your original status quo contribution level…it doesn’t seem like Mister a. gave you the benefit of the doubt on that or b. necessarily agrees that he has stuff he needs to change about himself. I hope I’m wrong about that second bit. Anyway. In my unasked-for opinion, those are the things I would be requiring the counselor to mediate discussion on, what the actual plan for development is. And if she’s not giving you opportunity to speak your truth and be heard in turn bc she’s so busy cramming her thoughts down your throat, that isn’t a good counselor. If his capacity for certain things has been altered to the point that he can’t get it back to what it use to be, I am not okay with that. He does seem to know that there are things he needs to work on about himself, but I’m not sure about his commitment to doing it. He seems to have lost interest in individual therapy. If I decide not to continue the joint sessions with this counselor, I have another one to try. But if we stop seeing the current one, I’m going to take a break from either the joint sessions or my individual sessions. Probably individual, because if I take a break from the joint sessions, I’m risking having a hard time getting Mister to start back.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 21, 2024 10:02:37 GMT -5
Since this week has been so hard, I bought myself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
As far as inflation and costs, as of May 31, the predicted COLA for SS is 2.3%. I don't understand why it is that low. Everything I pay has gone up much more than 2.3%.
Paying all that money to the contractor make me afraid for my financial future as I look at the balance of the money I have left. My plans for my inheritance did not include paying for waterproofing the basement.
I know the water heater, furnace and A/c are all best their time and the roof is nearing the end of it's life. I will have to pay out of pocket for everything but the roof. However, none of the storms that have come though in the last 15 years have taken out my roof. I don't know if one will before I have to pay for a new roof.
So most of my wants are not happening. It's mostly needs and that is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life.
What I pay for genealogy is a "need", not a want. It keeps my mind and brain working and allows me to keep my sanity.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 21, 2024 10:13:32 GMT -5
I like Miracle Whip. That’s all my family used. Mister hates it, and prefers mayonnaise. Yuck!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 21, 2024 10:24:25 GMT -5
Your only saving grace is that you aren’t using miracle whip! That is something you will never find in my house. Helman's all the way! Hellmans addict here too. I never run out. BOGO is my salvation. But along the lines of condiments I’ve come to the conclusion that I may be the only human being who does not like/use ketchup on anything. That stuff is nasty to me. But to each his own. Love a really good mustard.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 21, 2024 10:27:18 GMT -5
I'm going to look at the MO house that is more house than I need today. Yay!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2024 10:45:54 GMT -5
And in other news I got a letter yesterday that the nursing home is petitioning that my grandmother be appointed a state appointed guardian. I read through it and they say my dad can't do it because he "abused" my grandmother according to the home. I don't want to do it and from reading the letter they claim I am not capable of handling it either. I talked to my dad about it we're not going to contest it. There is nothing to fight for really. She only has $2000 to her name. If they want to milk Medicaid for medical costs then that is out of my control. Any pennies leftover when she passes would have gone to Iowa anyhow. I told dad it feels like they are winning but maybe having a state appointed person in-between us and the nursing home isn't a bad thing. Now they will have to deal with the state asking questions and will be expected to answer as opposed to stone walling us as family. I assured him it can't be anyone from the home. I did "light" reading on the matter when I was researching POAs and it can't be anyone from the home because they have a hefty financial interest in grandma which is a conflict of interest. They can't be trusted to act in her best interest. It'll be a court system guardian. Plus I am so fucking tired of old people shit. It damn near cost me my job just getting her finances in order because it took so much of my time and mental space. I am not going to spend money hiring a lawyer and trying to fight for guardianship and God forbid actually end up getting it. I also joked we could make Bob do it. He hasn't had a turn yet. Not that he would be found responsible enough do it but there is some resentment on my part about how he's been smart/lucky enough to get away without helping in any size shape or form. He didn't even help us clean when he was in town. I wish I could wield weaponized incompetence like he can. Drama, my rep payee volunteer work came to an end in part because the nursing homes were taking over as the financial guardian on their Medicaid patients. Oh well then they can still have it then. If they are thinking there are any assets they can nose around and find there isn't. Every single penny of GU's house went to his Medicaid bills so even if they found out he died there is nothing they can gain from it. And if they want to commit Medicaid Fraud that's not my problem. Should I be outraged on a societal and ethical level? Yeah probably. Do I have enough motivation to care? No. It's not my job to be the nursing home police. I honestly cannot gather the energy to really care about it beyond wishing that this was over. Which is a horrible thing to say she is my grandmother but I can't help it. I am so burned out and have such a level of PTSD from it all. I want release and sadly there is only one true way out of it. I am sick of my "familial duty" towards dealing with the insanely corrupt system that is elder care in this country. I have absolutely zero power or control and can be brought up on charges all because I didn't use a purple ink pen during a full moon that had been blessed by a Greek muse on a Tuesday to sign the Medicaid forms.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Jun 21, 2024 10:54:02 GMT -5
Your only saving grace is that you aren’t using miracle whip! That is something you will never find in my house. Helman's all the way! I used to do Hellmans. It seems like they changed the formulation a few years ago, and every jar I got tasted off. I switched to Dukes.
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Jun 21, 2024 10:56:51 GMT -5
That is something you will never find in my house. Helman's all the way! Hellmans addict here too. I never run out. BOGO is my salvation. But along the lines of condiments I’ve come to the conclusion that I may be the only human being who does not like/use ketchup on anything. That stuff is nasty to me. But to each his own. Love a really good mustard. I am not a big ketchup fan either. If I do have it, it must be put on whatever very sparingly.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 10:58:05 GMT -5
My unsolicited, free advice. Each of you should be contributing to your 401k plan to get the full match. You should also each open a ROTH (if you don't have one yet) and set up automatic month contributions. Set it and forget it. Also, even at 6 or 7%, you should not be paying off the mortgage early. You will be much better served, financially, to be funding retirement accounts with that money instead. believe me, I have tried to tell him MANY, MANY times about putting all that money toward retirement instead of paying off the house early, but he is dead set on paying it off early. He calculates the extra money being paid in interest and figures we are avoiding paying that money if we pay it off early. I tell him I agree, but if we take that "pay off early" money and put it into our 401ks (we do the match) and our brokerage accounts that we will make more money in growth/dividends than the interest we're accruing. His desire to pay off the house seems to be more of an emotional decision than a financial one - he is EXTREMELY debt-averse. He also says that once the house is paid off we can put that extra money toward our retirement. I remind him that we are losing out on the beneficial compound interest by delaying the loading of our retirement accounts. And we go round and round... it is what it is at this point. I mean…the Roth is basically just investing like a brokerage, except that you never have to pay taxes on the growth ever. Even if he moved or diverted money from his existing stock portfolio into a Roth he’d come out ahead
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 6,026
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 11:03:40 GMT -5
I’m certainly on board with being realistic about a person’s capacity. It’s also necessary to think long term. If his capacity never increases, are you OK with that? Similarly, managing development is work. Can you trust Mister to be self motivated about gradually growing his capacity, with support from you and guidance from a counselor? Or are you forever going to be nagging him to pick up the emotional dirty socks and underwear from under the bed and put them in the metaphorical hamper? It’s a process, it’s not easy, and while I have no doubt that as you get your health issues fixed you’ll gradually get back to your original status quo contribution level…it doesn’t seem like Mister a. gave you the benefit of the doubt on that or b. necessarily agrees that he has stuff he needs to change about himself. I hope I’m wrong about that second bit. Anyway. In my unasked-for opinion, those are the things I would be requiring the counselor to mediate discussion on, what the actual plan for development is. And if she’s not giving you opportunity to speak your truth and be heard in turn bc she’s so busy cramming her thoughts down your throat, that isn’t a good counselor. If his capacity for certain things has been altered to the point that he can’t get it back to what it use to be, I am not okay with that. He does seem to know that there are things he needs to work on about himself, but I’m not sure about his commitment to doing it. He seems to have lost interest in individual therapy. If I decide not to continue the joint sessions with this counselor, I have another one to try. But if we stop seeing the current one, I’m going to take a break from either the joint sessions or my individual sessions. Probably individual, because if I take a break from the joint sessions, I’m risking having a hard time getting Mister to start back. I don’t mean to come down on you or make you justify anything, just offer different perspectives and help clarify I am hoping for the best possible outcome for you and Mister (although I could care less about the counselor
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greenthumb59
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2022 15:19:42 GMT -5
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Post by greenthumb59 on Jun 21, 2024 11:11:37 GMT -5
My mom, bless her, was the worst cook ever. I am serious. Just ask my DH or my sister. So one of our fav meals growing up was bologna and American cheese, on white bread, with mustard. My late sister would also crumble up potato chips and sprinkle those on her sandwich! It was hard to screw this meal up, even for my mom. I still love potato chips on sandwiches. We rarely keep chips in the house, so when we do have them I always excitedly make a cheese, yellow mustard, mayo, potato chips sandwich.Yum!!
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 21, 2024 11:19:32 GMT -5
I was firmly anti-mayo or anything mayo-related until DH came along. Due to various dietary restrictions, it's the only condiment he can use and boy, does he use it! And I discovered that ketchup, mustard, and mayo mixed together make a super yummy burger sauce.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,198
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 21, 2024 11:30:10 GMT -5
I was firmly anti-mayo or anything mayo-related until DH came along. Due to various dietary restrictions, it's the only condiment he can use and boy, does he use it! And I discovered that ketchup, mustard, and mayo mixed together make a super yummy burger sauce. My DIL does not eat anything mayo related. It was a strange thing to me but then she thought my distain for anything ketchup related was strange so we equaled out the oddities!
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 6,026
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 11:38:13 GMT -5
Noticed that a suggestion I made a couple months ago on a lab procedure that wasn’t working, was casually included in today’s presentation as the solution to the problem. There might’ve been a fist pump, behind my muted microphone and turned-off camera (It’s been a couple years since I left benchwork behind and I was wondering the other day if I’ve drifted hopelessly far away from my specialty, as I spend more and more time focusing on out-of-wheelhouse science and project/database management. I appreciated the vote of confidence.)
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greenthumb59
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2022 15:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 183
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Post by greenthumb59 on Jun 21, 2024 11:43:32 GMT -5
That is something you will never find in my house. Helman's all the way! Hellmans addict here too. I never run out. BOGO is my salvation. But along the lines of condiments I’ve come to the conclusion that I may be the only human being who does not like/use ketchup on anything. That stuff is nasty to me. But to each his own. Love a really good mustard. Hellmans household here as well! I like ketchup, but only on crispy hot french fries. Don't want it on anything else. Yuck. I also remember just making "mustard" sandwiches as a kid. Soft white Wonder bread and mustard with the potato chips if we had them. Loved white bread as a kid. Mom was from Germany, and only ever bought us dark bread. I like dark bread too, but I craved white bread.
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jun 21, 2024 11:46:28 GMT -5
just sent out my first "new business venture" email to a prospective client. And now we wait.....
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