cooper88
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Post by cooper88 on Jun 20, 2024 20:02:57 GMT -5
The high today was 79. I legit feel like I'm freezing after the recent heat wave. I wish it was about like this year round.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 20, 2024 20:11:12 GMT -5
Your house siding and deck look very nice mpl Good color choices!
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 20, 2024 20:18:27 GMT -5
The high today was 79. I legit feel like I'm freezing after the recent heat wave. I wish it was about like this year round. Yes, 79 year round, sounds very close to perfect for me. I can deal with plus or minus a few degrees on a daily basis, in a year round climate like that. You know from experience what summer is like where I live. So you can maybe understand it when I say that even though I’ve always loved summertime, and summer is and always has been my favorite season…… as I’ve gotten older, the heat and humidity during summers here, have gotten to be a bit much for me.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 20, 2024 21:13:14 GMT -5
I'm so tired of being broke in the short term. It's not even like we are spending huge amounts of money. Our big vacation is a 4 night vacation this year. DH and I were going to do a night away. I don't know we can afford it now. I don't even know how i can work two jobs and not be able to keep up. And, yet, here we are. Such a disconnect. I guess that the reasons I don’t understand this, are the same reasons I’m not a good YM’er, even after learning how to manage my money better after I found this community. I try to take care of my future self with some of the money I earn today. That impacts the amount of money I have available to spend today, and I am okay with that. But from what I’ve read over the years, there are already things in place and funds available for your children to further their education beyond getting a high school diploma, if that’s what that want. So, some of your posts confuse me. I’m not going to get into all of the reasons why. I will just say that in my uneducated mind, your situation is such that you don’t really have to live like a poor person, or one without monetary means. It’s okay if you choose to live your life as a person with limited resources if that is what suits you. You are the primary breadwinner, working two jobs, with a spouse that you don’t even feel safe with because he has some kind of addiction. Just my unpopular opinion.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jun 20, 2024 21:19:03 GMT -5
DH is eating bologna sandwiches with “cheese” on “bread”. Add mayo and that's how I eat it. I do also tend to like the things others consider vile. I do mustard.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 20, 2024 21:25:34 GMT -5
I'm over today. I think I'll have a cocktail and try to take a nap. I hope things improve soon. I don't like this. What did I miss? Are you ok? Nothing.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jun 20, 2024 21:48:54 GMT -5
I'm feeling broke right now too, but it's because the last of DD's wedding bills are coming in. No, we didn't pay for all of her wedding. Actually, we paid less than half. I just prefer to pay all of my bills as they come in, and even when trying to be frugal, their wedding WAS expensive. I had savings set aside for it. I just hate having to tap into my savings for any reason, as that's what I want to use in retirement. JMHO.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jun 20, 2024 21:50:00 GMT -5
Add mayo and that's how I eat it. I do also tend to like the things others consider vile. I do mustard. I like mustard on ham sandwiches. For bologna, I use lettuce and Miracle Whip.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 20, 2024 22:04:12 GMT -5
Add mayo and that's how I eat it. I do also tend to like the things others consider vile. I grew up eating that, on white bread. I would not do that now. Same! I don't eat white bread now. I'd have said sandwich on honey wheat. Does that make me even more weird?
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 20, 2024 23:43:44 GMT -5
We are now under contract at 417 Lawndale Drive, Pearisburg, VA! We have also been approved for the HELOC so we can pay cash for the new house. We will be changing the flooring from carpet and LVP to Laminate. That will be done after the closing on 7/30. Yay! We will now be close to DD and the grandkids. Congrats! I hope we have grandkids one day. And then we will have to move to Texas to be close to them! They are one of the reasons why I am slowly but surely preparing to make an approximately 6000 mile international move
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Cheesy FL-Vol
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on Jun 21, 2024 0:16:35 GMT -5
do you mean cream cheese on toast with brown sugar?that sounds better Nope, it was definitely sour cream.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 21, 2024 2:38:38 GMT -5
Good morning, illustrious invisipeeps, augmenting your stores of knowledge and wealth. Welcome to Friday. With the solstice and a full moon there is bound to be good energy flowing around. I hope this day has you awash in that energy, and that there be abundant cake. Sour cream plus brown sugar is yummy! Today I must complete preparations for tomorrow's excursion to an island near here where I and others in the party will paint plein air. DH will take pictures. I found my hat to shield myself from the sun, which is good. I need to dig up a small spray bottle to wet the paint on my palette or it will surely dry far too quickly. I used to paint in oils, which are forgiving in that they stay wet for a long time, allowing you to scrape off what doesn't work and then reapply. In the heat acrylics can dry within a few minutes unless you spray them lightly on the palette. Yesterday the sun setting in a rent in the clouds made a beautiful image:
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 21, 2024 3:42:59 GMT -5
Good Morning Finnime and everyone else. It is just 3:34 am here, so dead of night yet. Got up, put one of my dogs out, he wanted company, went out on deck for a few, decided I wanted a jacket, put one on, then unplugged my car ( front of house), moved laundry & started new load, by then M was ready to come back in & my other Dog C decided to go outside. He is quick about his business, so he was out & back inside in the time it took to hang up my jacket.
Anneinva-house looks nice. Congrats!
I am off today. I worked till 7:30 last night. My check printer stopped working, so I have to figure out what to buy. May stop in at work to check my e-mail, waiting for response from vendor/it/software prople-but it is a long drive just for that. I have to take my mom some bread anyways, which is 1/2 way there.
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ners
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Post by ners on Jun 21, 2024 5:56:02 GMT -5
Morning all. So happy it is Friday. Did not sleep well last night. Oh well bring on the coffee.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 21, 2024 6:35:16 GMT -5
I'm so tired of being broke in the short term. It's not even like we are spending huge amounts of money. Our big vacation is a 4 night vacation this year. DH and I were going to do a night away. I don't know we can afford it now. I don't even know how i can work two jobs and not be able to keep up. And, yet, here we are. Such a disconnect. I guess that the reasons I don’t understand this, are the same reasons I’m not a good YM’er, even after learning how to manage my money better after I found this community. I try to take care of my future self with some of the money I earn today. That impacts the amount of money I have available to spend today, and I am okay with that. But from what I’ve read over the years, there are already things in place and funds available for your children to further their education beyond getting a high school diploma, if that’s what that want. So, some of your posts confuse me. I’m not going to get into all of the reasons why. I will just say that in my uneducated mind, your situation is such that you don’t really have to live like a poor person, or one without monetary means. It’s okay if you choose to live your life as a person with limited resources if that is what suits you. You are the primary breadwinner, working two jobs, with a spouse that you don’t even feel safe with because he has some kind of addiction. Just my unpopular opinion. I know. I have all sorts of feelings about this. I am allowed my feelings without out judgement. I also have been very clear that our short term outlook is always very different from our long term. Yes, we have a good enough NW. That's because we don't touch money and let it grow for a long time (think 30 years). Not because we make a decent enough income. That is very different than counting pennies to save money. I know we are not broke. We can make ends meet without looking in the couch cushions for change to put gas in the car. Food and our mortgage take half of my dayjob income. Kids costs are rising. Costs are rising in general. My wage has not kept up. We still don't make enough to really owe money on federal taxes. Our tax liability was like $100 last year. And that's with DS aging out of any good tax breaks. But, again, when food and your mortgage take half your dayjob income, there's not a ton left to go around. I also don't understand what cherry picking my stress/anxiety with DH has to do with anything? Financially, I trust him. That's not the issue here. That's never been the issue. I don't know how much you make, currently Pink. I'll spitball and guess 65K, give or take. Which is close to what I make at my dayjob. If you had to cover food, shelter, utilities, clothing, needs school supplies, gas for your car, and things for the house, and a few wants on that for 5.25 people, might you feel a little pinched?
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jun 21, 2024 7:04:55 GMT -5
I like mustard on ham sandwiches. For bologna, I use lettuce and Miracle Whip. Never been a fan of Miracle Whip.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 7:16:51 GMT -5
So what the counselor was getting to with the intellectual equivalent of a fifth grader thing, was about expectations and a person’s capacity to meet those expectations. She likes talking about “renegotiating the contract” when circumstances or a situation changes. For example, on my end, when I was missing so much work due to my stomach issues, Mister and should have talked about what that meant for us, as far as me not being able to do certain things at the same level I had been. On his side, when he got all stressed out trying to take care of his parents and all of the emotions he was dealing with because of that and then them dying, he did not have the same capacity to operate IRT to our relationship, that he’d had before. I don’t really feel like there was a conversation we should’ve had about about him not showing up in our relationship like he had been before all of that, because my common sense told me why it was happening and I understood. I did eventually initiate conversations about him shutting me out to the degree that he did and him being mean to me after that started. That part was not understandable or acceptable to me. I already understood all of that on my own, about being realistic about a person’s capacity, whether it’s just who they are or because something has happened to change their capacity for certain things. I’m just using those 2 examples because I’ve already talked about those 2 situations here. He does have new skills he needs to learn or relearn, like geenamercile figured, so that was part of it too, but not the biggest part of what I have issues with, expect for the part where it relates to him and his daughters. I hope that clears things up some. I’m certainly on board with being realistic about a person’s capacity. It’s also necessary to think long term. If his capacity never increases, are you OK with that? Similarly, managing development is work. Can you trust Mister to be self motivated about gradually growing his capacity, with support from you and guidance from a counselor? Or are you forever going to be nagging him to pick up the emotional dirty socks and underwear from under the bed and put them in the metaphorical hamper? It’s a process, it’s not easy, and while I have no doubt that as you get your health issues fixed you’ll gradually get back to your original status quo contribution level…it doesn’t seem like Mister a. gave you the benefit of the doubt on that or b. necessarily agrees that he has stuff he needs to change about himself. I hope I’m wrong about that second bit. Anyway. In my unasked-for opinion, those are the things I would be requiring the counselor to mediate discussion on, what the actual plan for development is. And if she’s not giving you opportunity to speak your truth and be heard in turn bc she’s so busy cramming her thoughts down your throat, that isn’t a good counselor.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 21, 2024 7:27:30 GMT -5
Sardines and red onions on heavily buttered rye bread. Peanut butter and sweet pickles on white bread. Hummus and sliced tomatoes on multigrain. Brie and sliced pears on wheat.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 21, 2024 7:28:48 GMT -5
Air conditioner isn’t working. Repair guys we used before who were FANTASTIC, aren’t in business. Too bad they did a good job at cheap rate probably why
Called a place in next town and they’re coming in about a half hour
They’re here!
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 21, 2024 7:31:45 GMT -5
Catsup not mustard on baloney Although I haven’t had any in years, not ‘healthy’
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 7:36:13 GMT -5
Sardines and red onions on heavily buttered rye bread. Peanut butter and sweet pickles on white bread. Hummus and sliced tomatoes on multigrain. Brie and sliced pears on wheat. Imma block out the first two though
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 7:37:30 GMT -5
Morning all. So happy it is Friday. Did not sleep well last night. Oh well bring on the coffee. Are you sure it’s Friday? My brain is still lying to me and for some reason it feels like a Wednesday Yes, coffee. Good plan.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 21, 2024 7:47:01 GMT -5
Here's. a data point.
We took the same vacation that we've routinely taken in the past.
12-20 years ago, 1K covered the vacation, completely. That's 7 nights, one meal out a day, plus transportation costs, and some small spending.
This year, 4 nights ran us 1.3K. We'll land at about 1600 or so for the trip, including transportation and meals.
It's too early to do the percentages. I'm sure someone will come by and correct me.
Ball parking, Our costs went over 50%, and we got less time away away.
Do you think my dayjob salary has gone up 50% in the past 12 years? Because I can assure you, it has not. It has gone up 8-10%, total over the past 12 years.
Now, repeat that for lots of things. And here we are. I feel pinched financially.
Another example: kids shoes. I used to be able to buy shoes for the kids for $5.00 at kohls on clearance with DS and DD1. Now, I'm spending about $25 on shoes for the missy. I can't find shoes on clearance for $5.00 anymore. So, just that once expense has increased 5 fold. Again, my income has not. Although, the peanut is happy with $20 walmart shoes, and they seem to last nearly as long as nikes. And again, while I'm not spending 120 or so on shoes for the year, $40 is still more than $10. That's a four fold increase in costs.
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cooper88
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Post by cooper88 on Jun 21, 2024 7:47:49 GMT -5
Morning all. So happy it is Friday. Did not sleep well last night. Oh well bring on the coffee. Are you sure it’s Friday? My brain is still lying to me and for some reason it feels like a Wednesday Yes, coffee. Good plan. I woke up so happy it was Saturday. It lasted all of five minutes.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2024 7:55:42 GMT -5
Gira we've fallen into the same trap and it SUCKS. I told DH I hate that everything costs money anymore and a shit load of it because they can. Meanwhile my salary doesn't go up more than 3% if that and I can't seem to get a promotion to save my soul. Going to the freaking movies as a family of four dang near requires a second mortgage anymore. That used to be the cheap weeknight option! I remember that my parents took us to see every new Disney movie when it came out. Dh and I used to do casual dates to the movies. Nowadays we need to REALLY want to see it to make worth the costs. Gwen is pissed because I refuse to take her to a particular pumpkin patch anymore. Just to get is $175 anymore. Don't get me started on Adventureland costs, we're skipping that this year too. We're pretty much stuck at home staring at the walls because most of our money now goes to insurance, utility costs and groceries. All of which have inflated price wise without us doing anything different. DH is going for a promotion and there is a good chance he will get it because his company doesn't work like mine does when it comes to promotions. If he can get that it will help significantly. And yes we are inheriting a tidy sum but I don't want that going to day to day expenses. We need to build our future and I am hell bent on controlling what I can control when it comes to our old age and not doing to my kids what both grandmas and GU did to my parents. I won't be FIL by any stretch of the imagination but surely there is a middle ground. I want to cry daily because I feel like such a failure money wise. I know it's not all on me and there are a lot of factors I can't control but I feel like such a failure.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 21, 2024 8:02:26 GMT -5
I guess that the reasons I don’t understand this, are the same reasons I’m not a good YM’er, even after learning how to manage my money better after I found this community. I try to take care of my future self with some of the money I earn today. That impacts the amount of money I have available to spend today, and I am okay with that. But from what I’ve read over the years, there are already things in place and funds available for your children to further their education beyond getting a high school diploma, if that’s what that want. So, some of your posts confuse me. I’m not going to get into all of the reasons why. I will just say that in my uneducated mind, your situation is such that you don’t really have to live like a poor person, or one without monetary means. It’s okay if you choose to live your life as a person with limited resources if that is what suits you. You are the primary breadwinner, working two jobs, with a spouse that you don’t even feel safe with because he has some kind of addiction. Just my unpopular opinion. I know. I have all sorts of feelings about this. I am allowed my feelings without out judgement. I also have been very clear that our short term outlook is always very different from our long term. Yes, we have a good enough NW. That's because we don't touch money and let it grow for a long time (think 30 years). Not because we make a decent enough income. That is very different than counting pennies to save money. I know we are not broke. We can make ends meet without looking in the couch cushions for change to put gas in the car. Food and our mortgage take half of my dayjob income. Kids costs are rising. Costs are rising in general. My wage has not kept up. We still don't make enough to really owe money on federal taxes. Our tax liability was like $100 last year. And that's with DS aging out of any good tax breaks. But, again, when food and your mortgage take half your dayjob income, there's not a ton left to go around. I also don't understand what cherry picking my stress/anxiety with DH has to do with anything? Financially, I trust him. That's not the issue here. That's never been the issue. I don't know how much you make, currently Pink. I'll spitball and guess 65K, give or take. Which is close to what I make at my dayjob. If you had to cover food, shelter, utilities, clothing, needs school supplies, gas for your car, and things for the house, and a few wants on that for 5.25 people, might you feel a little pinched? I get both views. Realistically, we are ridiculously fortunate. Practically, my take home (maxing 401k, HSA, various insurances, extra fed and state withholding) is about 1/3 of my actual salary. We have separate (but complementary) finances, partly bc it’s a way of preventing me from expanding lifestyle crap to fit DH’s income. Semi-artificial constructs to maintain discipline, but also bc I feel like you should be able to live on what you earn…long story short, last year I wasn’t paying attention and bought Treasuries, paid for camp and put a very expensive set of flights on the credit card all in short order, then was like wait. I can’t cover this out of my checking. Am I seriously going to have to pull money out of stocks to cover basic life expenses? (Yes, DH would’ve been happy to cover any or all of it, and pulling money from the brokerage wouldn’t have been a big deal to anyone but me. I just felt like I should be able to pull my own weight…can expand on details if anyone actually wants to follow me down the mental rabbit hole? Nope, didn’t think so.) Life costs keep going up and the live within your means mentality is both strong and there for a reason. If you start spending what’s there to enable retirement it gets that much harder. But at the same time gira, we hate that the situation leaves you so stressed all the time
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 21, 2024 8:03:46 GMT -5
I want to cry daily because I feel like such a failure money wise. I know it's not all on me and there are a lot of factors I can't control but I feel like such a failure. Thank you.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 21, 2024 8:09:10 GMT -5
So what the counselor was getting to with the intellectual equivalent of a fifth grader thing, was about expectations and a person’s capacity to meet those expectations. She likes talking about “renegotiating the contract” when circumstances or a situation changes. I’m certainly on board with being realistic about a person’s capacity. It’s also necessary to think long term. If his capacity never increases, are you OK with that? Similarly, managing development is work. Can you trust Mister to be self motivated about gradually growing his capacity, with support from you and guidance from a counselor? Or are you forever going to be nagging him to pick up the emotional dirty socks and underwear from under the bed and put them in the metaphorical hamper? It’s a process, it’s not easy, and while I have no doubt that as you get your health issues fixed you’ll gradually get back to your original status quo contribution level…it doesn’t seem like Mister a. gave you the benefit of the doubt on that or b. necessarily agrees that he has stuff he needs to change about himself. I hope I’m wrong about that second bit. Anyway. In my unasked-for opinion, those are the things I would be requiring the counselor to mediate discussion on, what the actual plan for development is. And if she’s not giving you opportunity to speak your truth and be heard in turn bc she’s so busy cramming her thoughts down your throat, that isn’t a good counselor. I love this metaphor. I can just see it.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 21, 2024 8:10:57 GMT -5
Sardines and red onions on heavily buttered rye bread. Peanut butter and sweet pickles on white bread. Hummus and sliced tomatoes on multigrain. Brie and sliced pears on wheat. My father would have loved the first, but I'm not crazy about sardines or onions. The others I could go for, definitely.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 21, 2024 8:22:57 GMT -5
Yes inflation on EVERYTHING in past 4 years is awful. They keep saying inflation is decreasing to 3%. But the inflated costs from past 3 years aren’t going down, just adding another 3% to those costs. Sorry for young people trying to buy a house or car and kid costs are just increasing. A jar of eg, pasta sauce used to be maybe $1.80 now $2.95 on sale! Here in NJ our governor just signed that property taxes can increase up to 9%. Previously it was only 2% unless town justified by showing increases in eg, health insurance for town employees. This is on TOP of highest property taxes of any state. The government is insatiable- just give us more, more Never enough And we’re getting news of major corruption including a Senator . Trial is presenting how corruption is permeating the state government UGH
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