Pink Cashmere
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Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 19, 2024 22:09:07 GMT -5
An odd thing happened while I was at work today. I got a notification that a man was on our porch,. Mister was at home, but he was taking a nap, so I answered through the doorbell and asked if I could help him. I am getting good at that lol. He asked if *first name, last name* Junior lived there. It was Mister’s name, but Mister is a Third, his Dad was Junior. I asked “who would like to know who lives here”. He looked like he was in his 60’s, and did not seem pleased that I asked that lol. He explained that he had been Mister’s Dad’s barber for years and he was trying to relay some important information to Mister. I told him “wait please”, and called Mister and told him who the man said he was. Mister went to the door, and the guy introduced himself and said he’d been his Dad’s barber. He told Mister that someone from a certain insurance company had asked him if he knew how to get in touch with Muster’s Dad’s son, and he was trying to get the man’s information to Mister because he figured it was probably some “good” news. The insurance company happened to be the one that had reached a settlement with Mister’s parents from a car accident they were in, where the other driver was at fault. When we were leaving the cemetery after Mister’s Mom’s funeral, the insurance company called him to tell him that the settlement and him approved and they would be sending a check to his parents. Anyway, the guy in the porch today asked Mister if he wanted him to call the insurance guy, and he did on speaker, and told him he was standing in front of Mister, then gave Mister the phone. He asked Mister if they had ever settled his Mom’s estate. Mister told him that he’d turned all of that over to his brother to handle, and he would have his brother call him. Mister was really just buying some time because he was caught off guard. He was still half sleep. I have so many questions. How did that even become a conversation between the insurance guy and the barber? How did the barber know to come here? Most of Mister’s family don’t even know where we live. A web search would've shown a different address, since Mister is not a Jr. Why did the insurance guy not just call Mister, like he’s done before? The last time Mister spoke to him, last year, he told Mister the funds would have to go to an estate account, because it was in both his parents’ names, and his Mom had died. Mister had gone through a huge ordeal trying to get that settled for his parents while his Mom was in the hospital this last time, because his Mom had to go to PT after the accident, and that claim still being open was a problem with getting her into rehab after she first got so sick. Anyway, it was just weird to me for the barber to show up at our door, trying to put Mister in contact with the insurance guy. That is super sketchy. Did Mister get the insurance person's information? Don't let him give them any person information. Have him get a claim number and then he needs to Google the insurance company's 800 number and call them independent from all of these people. I'm betting it's a scam. Of all the people that the insurance company would call, someone's barber would not be one. How would they know it even was his barber? It's way too weird. My nephew had a car accident and the next day a doctor's office called him to make an appointment. My dad called me and I told them not to talk to anyone. We called the insurance company and they said they don't do that, especially when nobody was hurt. People can find out things about you and make stuff up. It's usually somewhat convincing. The fact that this isn't makes it even more wild. Mister has the name and phone number for the insurance person. He took a picture of what the barber had written on a piece of paper. I didn’t ask specifically, but the insurance person the barber called, seems to be the same person Mister has spoken to, before and soon after his Mom died. IIRC, the settlement was for $15k and with all the things going on with his Dad after his Mom died, Mister felt like he had bigger concerns than trying to figure out what to do about that. He’d already invested a lot of time and energy into getting it settled, not for the money, but so that his Mom could go to rehab. But then she died, and he was like fuck that, because he had bigger fish to fry, trying to see about his Dad. For whatever it’s worth, it is Farmer’s insurance and the only ties he or his parents have to them is that their insured driver was responsible for the car accident his parents were in a year or so before his Mom got sick. Once he made up his mind to do it, Mister has been sticking to letting his brother deal with (or not) the details of settling their parent’s estates and dealing with the house and car, as far as I know. I am pretty sure his brother has not done anything to settle anything, because in my uneducated mind, I think that anything his brother does to settle things, would require Mister to at least sign some shit, because they are equal heirs or whatever, and that hasn’t happened. I think Mister would sign whatever, over to his brother, just to be done with it all, and because his brother needs more of whatever is left from their parents than he does. But Mister is not going out of his way to get that done and squared away, which I understand, as long as it can’t come back to bite him in the ass.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 19, 2024 23:14:30 GMT -5
Got the inspection done and read. More wrong then we thought. I was surprised the roof is at the end of its useful life. I thought it looked good, maybe I need new glasses! It also needs flashing, there is one soffit with some rotten wood because of it.
Also it says it needs painted and caulking replaced, hubs said no big deal on that. But there are some of the anchors corroded, I need to talk to the inspector and see how many.
Had 3 dual panes that have lost their seal, 2 being patio doors, hubs said likely $800 to $1000 for the sealed panes. The interesting thing was the home is set on a concrete slab, not just piers under there. Hubs said that makes it really nice to work under and not be in dirt or mud. There are rodents and we will have to do something about that, but its a problem here too. The inspector said that is common under modulars.
The one thing that concerned him and we want fixed was the breaker was off in the bathroom receptacles. The inspector said they were getting it fixed. Hubs wanted to know what was wrong with it and what they are doing to repair it. I said we did want that done. That is a health and safety issue.
I told our realtor we will take it, but she could ask the seller for a $5k concession toward the new roof. If someone was getting a loan they would require the seller to put on a new roof. It could cost from $10k to $20k to get a new one. May not be the thing to do, but like I told her its the right thing to do.
We discussed whether to go ahead and buy it. But hubs said its 18 years old and any house is going to have things wrong with it. I said I bet ours won't, he said yes, they will find things wrong, just what they do when inspecting it. Also we decided that up there its probably the best place we will get for the price as we do not want to pay $500 to $600k for a place to live up there. So we will need to have some work done. But other than the roof, nothing earth shattering. Hubs said he can fix it all except the roof, I'm so glad he has quit working on stuff like that, we will hire it done.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Jun 19, 2024 23:22:06 GMT -5
I was outside, watering all the homeless cats, raccoons, squirrels, and maybe rats....everybody is thirsty in this heat. I made sure the container wasn't too big, so sparrows and small animals wouldn't drown in it. I used the bottom of a rotisserie chicken container. I'll fill it up again tomorrow. I figured "Why not go to the supermarket while I'm out? I need cat food." Seventy five dollars later. I was on my way home, wondering how I spent that much. I did buy a big bouquet of Stargazer lilies, and lots of food I could just microwave. It's too hot to cook and I'm certainly not turning the oven on. The moon is lovely tonight. I like that it shines in my bedroom window at night.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 19, 2024 23:22:07 GMT -5
Going to go to docs in the next few days and try to get scripts for 3 months so we can work on getting getting new docs.
Hubs told the renter he needs to have the trailer moved before we go or he is going to sell it we have to sell the house over there. He removed the skirting, disconnect the water and sewer for him. He also talked to our furnace guy about disconnecting the AC unit, he had told him 3 weeks but we have dealt with him for years and he is going to do it for hubs tomorrow. Hubs is also going to take the tractor and move the concrete steps to the lot for him to help him out. but there is only so much we are going to do. If he doesn't still have the money to move it, well we are not doing that, giving him the mobile home is enough. It's old but a really nice one.
I'm sending him a note to walk through and see what needs to be done in the house, and would like to this weekend so we know.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 20, 2024 0:13:51 GMT -5
A raccoon pooped on the front porch right in front of our front door. Sickening!
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Jun 20, 2024 0:42:27 GMT -5
A raccoon pooped on the front porch right in front of our front door. Sickening! Sickening? Why? They're really cute!
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Jun 20, 2024 3:28:29 GMT -5
Good morning, action-oriented invisipeeps, readying to buy houses and make moves, attending meetings, seeking a/c, eating out and eating in and generally living valuable lives. Welcome to Thursday, the summer solstice the world over. I hope your day shows you how valuable you are to the world. DD is going to need help getting the clothing=scrubs and shoes and supplies (stethoscope, hemostats, etc.) she'll need so I need to figure out the $ there. She'll repay me when she gets paid. She's been looking online for uniforms and nursing equipment. Today will be another hot one, well into the 80's, which I know for many of you doesn't exactly touch it but it's hot for here. Yesterday's sunrise was lovely but ultimately not so interesting without clouds. Here are the lilies I have growing in my front garden. They started as an Easter lily I planted last year:
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 20, 2024 4:39:32 GMT -5
A raccoon pooped on the front porch right in front of our front door. Sickening! Sickening? Why? They're really cute! No matter how cute they are, I wouldn't enjoy cleaning up their poop, on my front porch. I don't find anything cute about poop, of any type.
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Jun 20, 2024 4:55:06 GMT -5
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Jun 20, 2024 5:12:56 GMT -5
In other news, the reason I was tossing and turning last night before the damn bug was on my pillow, was because I had monkey brain about the counseling session Mister and I had yesterday. [snip] Which ultimately mattered with the point she was trying to make herself, but she seemed to get a little irritated that I kept saying “I did not say ‘easy’” when she kept using that word as if I’d said it, and I kept correcting her about what I’d actually said. Not irritated enough to be a big deal, but enough that I noticed, since I’m not quite as dumb and clueless as I might seem to be. So after that, I just didn’t object to anything else. Now I feel like I am expected to listen to and try to understand what everybody else is saying to me, and turn myself inside out trying to understand all of that, but nobody is really listening to me and trying to understand me and what I’m saying. And I am angry again. I would have been angry, too, Pink Cashmere , at being dismissed like that. Quite angry.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 20, 2024 7:51:17 GMT -5
In other news, the reason I was tossing and turning last night before the damn bug was on my pillow, was because I had monkey brain about the counseling session Mister and I had yesterday. I am very capable of saying something in the moment to react to something that irritates me, or just say whatever I think, and let it come out however, without a filter. But I learned years ago that just saying whatever pops into my head, however it comes out, is not always the best idea. So while I got some good information from our session yesterday, and learned some things, I had to focus more on trying to learn, than saying what I wanted to say. Because I didn’t and still don’t think, that arguing with our counselor would’ve been a good use of the time. And last night, thinking about the session, I actually got angry about some things, which is why I had monkey brain. I did get ornery about one thing during the session, which was actually the least of the issues. She asked us how we would handle it if we had to do a project with someone that could only operate on the intellectual level of a 5th grader. I answered first, and said I would have them do the tasks related to the project, that they are capable of doing. After Mister answered, when she first started trying to make her point, she kept saying that I’d said I’d give that person the “easy” tasks. I kept correcting her and saying that I did not say “easy”. Because in my mind, even a 5th grader can do things that are easy for them, but not for me. Like figure out how to use a new phone, or run around like a maniac for a few hours without feeling like a truck ran over them. I’m not exactly a dummy, but a fifth grader probably understands this “new math” shit, and I still don’t, regardless of how many hours I spent trying to learn it, to try to help DS with his math homework. A fifth grader that understands new math, can get the same correct answer (result) that I can, even if our steps are different. I think new math is more complicated than math has to be and I don’t even really like math period, in the first place, but if the different methods get the same correct answers, whatever. So to me, saying what they were capable of, was an important distinction I’d made and believe, over saying “easy”. Which ultimately mattered with the point she was trying to make herself, but she seemed to get a little irritated that I kept saying “I did not say ‘easy’” when she kept using that word as if I’d said it, and I kept correcting her about what I’d actually said. Not irritated enough to be a big deal, but enough that I noticed, since I’m not quite as dumb and clueless as I might seem to be. So after that, I just didn’t object to anything else. Now I feel like I am expected to listen to and try to understand what everybody else is saying to me, and turn myself inside out trying to understand all of that, but nobody is really listening to me and trying to understand me and what I’m saying. And I am angry again. Did she explain how this connected exactly to how she was coaching you and Mister? Because this sounds like one of those stupid "gotcha" interview questions that fall in and out of fashion. They have no actual point besides to throw you off kilter so they can "test" how you "respond to stress" or "think outside the box". Because I agree with you. There is no point in throwing someone into the deep end. Starting with things that are "easy" as she puts it is not only a good way to build confidence but gives you time to evaluate performance before handing over harder tasks that could require more clean up should mistakes be made. Once they've demonstrated they can do the "easy" tasks you can start trying to challenge them IF that is what they want. Some people are perfectly happy staying in their lane. I am so confused on how this analogy works for couples counseling. I think you need a new one.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 20, 2024 8:38:06 GMT -5
As much as I needed and appreciated yesterday’s holiday, and enjoyed being a complete lump for most of it, it really wrecks my sense of time orientation to have these mid-week days off. Is today Thursday, Sunday, or Monday? The world may never know.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 20, 2024 8:41:39 GMT -5
WTF pink. Is the couples counselor calling Mister a child? Bc I don’t really see a different way to interpret that. And treating your partner like a child is TOTALLY a healthy basis for repairing a relationship. /s
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 20, 2024 8:50:56 GMT -5
WTF pink. Is the couples counselor calling Mister a child? Bc I don’t really see a different way to interpret that. And treating your partner like a child is TOTALLY a healthy basis for repairing a relationship. /s glad I'm not the only one that read it this way.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 20, 2024 9:08:47 GMT -5
WTF pink. Is the couples counselor calling Mister a child? Bc I don’t really see a different way to interpret that. And treating your partner like a child is TOTALLY a healthy basis for repairing a relationship. /s OOOOH I didn't catch that! If that is the case I would definitely fire the therapist because she's got a lot of internalized misogyny that she's allowing to influence her advice. I'd fire her anyhow because nothing gets fixed if you are constantly pissed off at the therapist for not listening, respecting you and arguing with you about how you need to accept HER world view if you want to fix things. BTDT got the T-shirt.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 20, 2024 9:10:47 GMT -5
WTF pink. Is the couples counselor calling Mister a child? Bc I don’t really see a different way to interpret that. And treating your partner like a child is TOTALLY a healthy basis for repairing a relationship. /s My guess would be that the counselor is saying that he is at some level of intelligence or skill that is lower then what he should be/ the counselor or Pink wants him to be at. (I think that would be determined on what conversation was happening when this example was brought up, for example emotional intelligence, boundary setting skills ECT...) You have to start at where they are at, and give them task at that level, "the easy," task. As then complete those to mastery then you move to the next level. If you start them with task on the level they should be at based on age, or where you think they should be at then it is just frustration and disappointment and in the end failure. You also can not make someone progress faster moving up through the grade level then they are capable of. Maybe a different example would be I decide I want to know how to break down and rebuild and engine to fix my car. If I am going in to learn that skill I probably need to start at a base level of learning the parts names or how to change the oil. I am not just going to jump to being told to pull the whole thing a part. So again my guess would be the counselor was trying to make the point that what ever self skill project Mister is working on, no he is not at a high functional level, he is at a base level and those are the task he needs to start with. And also keep in mind if he was already at a master/healthy functional level for that skill he wouldn't be in counseling.
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 20, 2024 9:19:37 GMT -5
I did get ornery about one thing during the session, which was actually the least of the issues. She asked us how we would handle it if we had to do a project with someone that could only operate on the intellectual level of a 5th grader. I answered first, and said I would have them do the tasks related to the project, that they are capable of doing. Maybe it's just me, but I read your response as indicating you expect people to perform to the limit of their knowledge and capabilities without comparing their skill set to yours. This to me is completely logical and means you aren't going to ask Mister or anyone else to perform tasks beyond their understanding. Yet for some reason the therapist seemed to focus on whether those tasks are "easier" than the ones you do yourself. Could she have been trying to make a point that you should have higher expectations of those around you instead of shouldering the burden of tasks which can be in their wheelhouse if they apply themselves? You strike me as being very fair-minded and not wanting to ask others for more than you are willing to give yourself, and perhaps you are short-changing yourself in the deal. Just my weird mind churning away here
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soupandstew
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 20, 2024 9:23:48 GMT -5
countrygirl2 Sorry to hear about the issues at the new place, especially the roof. You are right about a lender requiring replacement and possibly an insurer will too. Locally many, many insurance companies are denying coverage for roofs over 15 years old. Hope you are able to resolve this and the closing date too.
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lurkyloo
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“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
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Post by lurkyloo on Jun 20, 2024 9:24:34 GMT -5
WTF pink. Is the couples counselor calling Mister a child? Bc I don’t really see a different way to interpret that. And treating your partner like a child is TOTALLY a healthy basis for repairing a relationship. /s My guess would be that the counselor is saying that he is at some level of intelligence or skill that is lower then what he should be/ the counselor or Pink wants him to be at. (I think that would be determined on what conversation was happening when this example was brought up, for example emotional intelligence, boundary setting skills ECT...) You have to start at where they are at, and give them task at that level, "the easy," task. As then complete those to mastery then you move to the next level. If you start them with task on the level they should be at based on age, or where you think they should be at then it is just frustration and disappointment and in the end failure. You also can not make someone progress faster moving up through the grade level then they are capable of. Maybe a different example would be I decide I want to know how to break down and rebuild and engine to fix my car. If I am going in to learn that skill I probably need to start at a base level of learning the parts names or how to change the oil. I am not just going to jump to being told to pull the whole thing a part. So again my guess would be the counselor was trying to make the point that what ever self skill project Mister is working on, no he is not at a high functional level, he is at a base level and those are the task he needs to start with. And also keep in mind if he was already at a master/healthy functional level for that skill he wouldn't be in counseling. I mean, I get the point the counselor is trying to make but it’s a crappy point and perpetuates centuries of misogyny where it’s the woman’s job to make things work and take on the mental load for friggin everything. WTF why is it Pink’s job to baby-step him through things that as an adult he should be able to figure out on his own? In your analogy you could recognize you’re not at the skill level for the engine, possibly ask someone what the right thing to start with would be, and then go look up oil changes on Youtube rather than expecting Pink to helicopter and baby-step him through, first you warm up the car, then you drain the oil, after you change into clothes you don’t care about… Supporting him through a personal journey is one thing but the counselor seems like she wants Pink to take on responsibility for Mister’s development when what he really needs is to take it on himself and maybe occasionally ask for support. Not OK. I too would be looking for a different counselor.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 20, 2024 9:26:09 GMT -5
I did get ornery about one thing during the session, which was actually the least of the issues. She asked us how we would handle it if we had to do a project with someone that could only operate on the intellectual level of a 5th grader. I answered first, and said I would have them do the tasks related to the project, that they are capable of doing. Maybe it's just me, but I read your response as indicating you expect people to perform to the limit of their knowledge and capabilities without comparing their skill set to yours. This to me is completely logical and means you aren't going to ask Mister or anyone else to perform tasks beyond their understanding. Yet for some reason the therapist seemed to focus on whether those tasks are "easier" than the ones you do yourself. Could she have been trying to make a point that you should have higher expectations of those around you instead of shouldering the burden of tasks which can be in their wheelhouse if they apply themselves? You strike me as being very fair-minded and not wanting to ask others for more than you are willing to give yourself, and perhaps you are short-changing yourself in the deal. Just my weird mind churning away here A complete difference to what I was thinking but 100% plausible depending on the context the example was brought up in.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 20, 2024 9:46:18 GMT -5
My guess would be that the counselor is saying that he is at some level of intelligence or skill that is lower then what he should be/ the counselor or Pink wants him to be at. (I think that would be determined on what conversation was happening when this example was brought up, for example emotional intelligence, boundary setting skills ECT...) You have to start at where they are at, and give them task at that level, "the easy," task. As then complete those to mastery then you move to the next level. If you start them with task on the level they should be at based on age, or where you think they should be at then it is just frustration and disappointment and in the end failure. You also can not make someone progress faster moving up through the grade level then they are capable of. Maybe a different example would be I decide I want to know how to break down and rebuild and engine to fix my car. If I am going in to learn that skill I probably need to start at a base level of learning the parts names or how to change the oil. I am not just going to jump to being told to pull the whole thing a part. So again my guess would be the counselor was trying to make the point that what ever self skill project Mister is working on, no he is not at a high functional level, he is at a base level and those are the task he needs to start with. And also keep in mind if he was already at a master/healthy functional level for that skill he wouldn't be in counseling. I mean, I get the point the counselor is trying to make but it’s a crappy point and perpetuates centuries of misogyny where it’s the woman’s job to make things work and take on the mental load for friggin everything. WTF why is it Pink’s job to baby-step him through things that as an adult he should be able to figure out on his own? In your analogy you could recognize you’re not at the skill level for the engine, possibly ask someone what the right thing to start with would be, and then go look up oil changes on Youtube rather than expecting Pink to helicopter and baby-step him through, first you warm up the car, then you drain the oil, after you change into clothes you don’t care about… Supporting him through a personal journey is one thing but the counselor seems like she wants Pink to take on responsibility for Mister’s development when what he really needs is to take it on himself and maybe occasionally ask for support. Not OK. I too would be looking for a different counselor. I wasn't thinking it was Pinks job at all the babysit him and walk him through skill building. I was thinking it was the counselors. And this is where the context of the conversation that the example came up in matters. If before hand the conversation was about Mister not setting boundaries, or having emotional lapses where his daughters are concern, or things aren't moving at the speed Pink wants for the relationship, then Pink needs to have patience while he level up these skills. And perhaps if this is a strength of hers, carry the load a more until he build up the muscles to carry more of it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 20, 2024 10:02:57 GMT -5
I think the fact absolutely none of us including Pink who was actually there can figure out where the therapist was going proves my point it was a shitty analogy. ETA: And even if we argue maybe Pink wasn't listening (sorry!) or interpreting correctly it is the therapist's job to clarify her point and bring the conversation back around to what it was intended to be. They are there to act as goal posts and a neutral third party and redirect if things start going off course. At least that's what my personal therapist does. We can cover many things but if I start going on a side tangent in the middle of a topic or it appears I went into left field she'll gently rope me back into what we were originally discussing.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 20, 2024 10:11:43 GMT -5
In other news, the reason I was tossing and turning last night before the damn bug was on my pillow, was because I had monkey brain about the counseling session Mister and I had yesterday. I am very capable of saying something in the moment to react to something that irritates me, or just say whatever I think, and let it come out however, without a filter. But I learned years ago that just saying whatever pops into my head, however it comes out, is not always the best idea. So while I got some good information from our session yesterday, and learned some things, I had to focus more on trying to learn, than saying what I wanted to say. Because I didn’t and still don’t think, that arguing with our counselor would’ve been a good use of the time. And last night, thinking about the session, I actually got angry about some things, which is why I had monkey brain. I did get ornery about one thing during the session, which was actually the least of the issues. She asked us how we would handle it if we had to do a project with someone that could only operate on the intellectual level of a 5th grader. I answered first, and said I would have them do the tasks related to the project, that they are capable of doing. After Mister answered, when she first started trying to make her point, she kept saying that I’d said I’d give that person the “easy” tasks. I kept correcting her and saying that I did not say “easy”. Because in my mind, even a 5th grader can do things that are easy for them, but not for me. Like figure out how to use a new phone, or run around like a maniac for a few hours without feeling like a truck ran over them. I’m not exactly a dummy, but a fifth grader probably understands this “new math” shit, and I still don’t, regardless of how many hours I spent trying to learn it, to try to help DS with his math homework. A fifth grader that understands new math, can get the same correct answer (result) that I can, even if our steps are different. I think new math is more complicated than math has to be and I don’t even really like math period, in the first place, but if the different methods get the same correct answers, whatever. So to me, saying what they were capable of, was an important distinction I’d made and believe, over saying “easy”. Which ultimately mattered with the point she was trying to make herself, but she seemed to get a little irritated that I kept saying “I did not say ‘easy’” when she kept using that word as if I’d said it, and I kept correcting her about what I’d actually said. Not irritated enough to be a big deal, but enough that I noticed, since I’m not quite as dumb and clueless as I might seem to be. So after that, I just didn’t object to anything else. Now I feel like I am expected to listen to and try to understand what everybody else is saying to me, and turn myself inside out trying to understand all of that, but nobody is really listening to me and trying to understand me and what I’m saying. And I am angry again. Did she explain how this connected exactly to how she was coaching you and Mister? Because this sounds like one of those stupid "gotcha" interview questions that fall in and out of fashion. They have no actual point besides to throw you off kilter so they can "test" how you "respond to stress" or "think outside the box". Because I agree with you. There is no point in throwing someone into the deep end. Starting with things that are "easy" as she puts it is not only a good way to build confidence but gives you time to evaluate performance before handing over harder tasks that could require more clean up should mistakes be made. Once they've demonstrated they can do the "easy" tasks you can start trying to challenge them IF that is what they want. Some people are perfectly happy staying in their lane.I am so confused on how this analogy works for couples counseling. I think you need a new one. Exactly. I used this process for years to weed out people I supervised. You teach them how to do the easy stuff and see how that works before throwing them into the deep in and watch them flounder (and possibly waste expensive supplies or irreplaceable samples). It’s all a matter of determining trust.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 20, 2024 10:11:58 GMT -5
No she wasn’t comparing either of us to a child.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jun 20, 2024 10:16:56 GMT -5
It was a little of what geena said. I will explain when I get time.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jun 20, 2024 10:51:13 GMT -5
Speaking of therapy appointments, I’ve made it to the “figure out who you actually want to be” stage.
Journaling time, and my therapist has a list of nine questions. She assures me that there are no right or wrong answers. 🤪
Here’s the first one.
1. What do you spend most of your time and energy on when you're in your natural habitat?
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jun 20, 2024 10:54:18 GMT -5
DH and I are sitting in a coffee shop. We’re on the coast, so the marine layer is still in. We will go wander the shops soon. DH’s conference doesn’t start until after lunch.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Jun 20, 2024 11:03:10 GMT -5
There are dozens of little yellow flowers on my tomato plants. I hope they're the little black cherry tomatoes....as sweet as candy.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jun 20, 2024 11:16:04 GMT -5
I can barely keep my eyes open. I've been like this for a week and not sure why as I've been getting to bed at a fairly reasonable time. I think it's just everything going on at home. I've had contractors there everyday for almost a month straight now. Not that it should make a difference to me since I'm at work, but I think I'm getting mentally drained from all the upheaval and decisions...not to mention worrying about what this is going to all cost. I may bail early tomorrow, put on a movie and just crash all afternoon. I have to be back to the school at 1am to pick up Carrot and I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay up that long without an afternoon nap first!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 20, 2024 11:18:34 GMT -5
I'm getting a headache with this work call right now.
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