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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Mar 29, 2022 19:29:29 GMT -5
Well, when you're a college student, working your way through school making < $5/hr and living with your parents, you don't really need to spend $40 for a plastic bowl to store your leftovers. Mine were inherited.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 29, 2022 20:08:05 GMT -5
As I'm reflecting on how I want the next decade of my life to go...I'm thinking about the (really) bad financial decisions I've made. Having four kids and being married in a community property state comes to mind. It is sobering to figure out how much better of a financial position I'd be if I had 0 dependents...I could have hung it up at my dayjob in about 5 years...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 29, 2022 20:09:59 GMT -5
As I'm reflecting on how I want the next decade of my life to go...I'm thinking about the (really) bad financial decisions I've made. Having four kids and being married in a community property state comes to mind. It is sobering to figure out how much better of a financial position I'd be if I had 0 dependents...I could have hung it up at my dayjob in about 5 years... I try not to think about how much better off I'd be financially if I hadn't married DH.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 29, 2022 20:19:47 GMT -5
Well, when you're a college student, working your way through school making < $5/hr and living with your parents, you don't really need to spend $40 for a plastic bowl to store your leftovers. Mine were inherited. We have a few from DH's parents from after their divorce. They just look old and beat up, tbh. We only use a couple of the small cups.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Mar 29, 2022 20:30:27 GMT -5
This was a discussion that was overheard yesterday in a restaurant. "Once I get my money from Tupperware then I will be able to pay my electric bill. I also need to get my tires switched over since I have have snow tires on and am surprised I haven't gotten a ticket yet." The discussion then continued on about how she also wanted to start doing pampered chef and then get one more thing to sell. Then she would just have one party each month rotating between the three MLM items. She knew of someone who had made $10,000 doing that.
who knows enough people who need enough stuff to keep that going?
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Mar 29, 2022 20:36:48 GMT -5
people going into dark territory here! If I think about where I'm sitting right now financially and delete kids/kids expenses of the last decades, sure, of course I'd have more money. Truth is - I wouldn't be sitting here at all. Not one major decision I've made in the past 20 years would have even come up on my horizon to make a decision on. It's a fork in the road so far back I can't even begin to imagine where I might have traveled by now. That's for someone else in another dimension to live. I hope she's doing ok
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2022 21:48:05 GMT -5
people going into dark territory here! If I think about where I'm sitting right now financially and delete kids/kids expenses of the last decades, sure, of course I'd have more money. Truth is - I wouldn't be sitting here at all. Not one major decision I've made in the past 20 years would have even come up on my horizon to make a decision on. It's a fork in the road so far back I can't even begin to imagine where I might have traveled by now. That's for someone else in another dimension to live. I hope she's doing ok You really said something with this post!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2022 8:08:39 GMT -5
I love DH and I obviously wouldn't have the girls of we had never met.
But the damage his demons has done to our finances is something that can't be ignored either.
It'll eventually get fixed but there are times when I get resentful and upset thinking about how far I could be if DH wasn't DH.
It's not an every day thing anymore but in times of disruption and change it pops in my head and I have to shove it back in It's box.
Marrying DH wasn't dumb for personal reasons but it's up there on the bad finances list.
Wouldn't trade the girls to do it over again though.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2022 8:38:57 GMT -5
I love DH and I obviously wouldn't have the girls of we had never met. But the damage his demons has done to our finances is something that can't be ignored either. <snip> Wouldn't trade the girls to do it over again though. I can relate. When I met the Ex, I'd just gotten another salary increase and really had no idea where I'd spend it, so I was just going to stash more in savings. The Ex was a financial train wreck. Although I never had to drain my retirement accounts (did take out a loan once), he spent everything he made, maxed out his credit cards, and always had some desperate "want" that required my tapping my money market fund. It makes me cringe even to think of them, let alone list examples. That was also the emergency fund when the house needed work, of course. I know- I was a "people pleaser"- still am, but not that bad. The only thing that saved me was that he'd put down $100K from an inheritance as a down payment on the house (frittered away another $200K on toys and on meeting some household expenses during 5 years of unemployment, till it ran out). When we sold due to the divorce, I got 40% of the equity. My share was $100K, which I immediately put down on a smaller house that sold at a $200K profit 6 years later. New DH and I moved to the Midwest for my job and invested most of that. So yeah, marrying him was a financial disaster. The $100K equity was a big help but I wonder if I'd have been better off by more than that if I'd stayed single or married someone else. Still, I have DS, DDIL and my wonderful grandchildren. Like you, I wouldn't "trade them in" to do it all over again. On Tupperware: I still have some from my late MIL and she died in 1983. Plastic is forever. I prefer to use Pyrex, especially when reheating or pouring hot foods into containers, since plastic has chemicals that can leach into the food.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Mar 30, 2022 9:55:33 GMT -5
The worst financial decision that I am willing to admit to is paying off a credit card debt with an 18-month signature loan before figuring out where my money was going. The minimum monthly payment doubled and I quickly learned exactly why I had been unable to reliably pay double the minimum required on the debt when it was still on the credit card.
An unexpectedly large tax refund pulled my buns out of the fire. It wasn't enough to pay off the signature loan but it was enough to pay off a dirt-cheap Perkins loan ($5% fixed, $40/month minimum payment) and the credit card balance that had accumulated and get me back to a place where cash inflows matched cash outflows (with extreme belt-tightening).
It's an embarrassing story. Since the amount of debt was puny and there weren't many more Perkins loan payments left, it didn't cost me a whole lot more interest but it sure shook my confidence. Refinancing was entirely my own idea and it damn near led to default.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 30, 2022 10:51:10 GMT -5
Marrying my husband was great for my finances, despite his slightly smaller income. It's cheaper to live together, and I couldn't live comfortably with anyone else. He's also a great partner at home as well as with building wealth.
As for the kids, it's probably a wash. If I didn't have them, I'd waste the time and money I spend on them on other crap instead. I'm blessed to have all of them in my life.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Mar 30, 2022 12:23:39 GMT -5
Here is a complete financial wreck tale from a housecleaner we used to have, 5-6 years ago. Key Players: Hannah (age 35ish), the housecleaner. Brodie (age early 40s), her live-in BF and father of her 3rd child, a wannabe car mechanic. Hannah had been our housecleaner for 4 years by then. She had 2 prior kids from 2 different men. Met Brodie, fell head over heels and promptly had him move in and had a 3rd baby with him. She was an exceptional housecleaner, very honest and sincere and we occasionally helped her out financially. Never met Brodie. Fast forward to 2016. Her youngest child was 5 months old then. She inherited $60,000 (after all taxes) from some relative unexpectedly. It was a fortune for her then and had the potential to change her life. DH and I gave her suggestions on investing and preparing for the future. What does Hannah do? Takes the 5 of them on a Disney vacation, spending $6000. Brodie is also a wannabe mechanic, remember? So she spends about $12000 to send him to a mechanic school. Then the two of them decide that they should invest in real estate, buy run down properties and fix them up to sell for profit. So they scout and find a 2BR/1Bath property an hour outside of the MCOL city we lived in, for $30,000, and buy it in cash. So $48,000 already spent so far. The plan is to use $10K of the remaining $12K balance to "fix up" the place, which they are very sure will sell for at least $75K. So they proceed to do exactly that, with ZERO experience in any construction or fixing. What could go wrong?? Well.....everything that you all can imagine. Within 2 months the entire $12K is gone, plus they have borrowed additional $5K from friends/family etc. They are given suggestions to actually suck up the loss and let it go. They hold on though with very ounce of hope that it WILL work out, it has to. So they scrape up additional $15K somehow and keep at it. After 13 months of keeping at it and multiple other loans, they abandon the whole thing realizing how over their head they are. Oh, and somewhere in there Brodie quits the mechanic school because "it ain't for him". So the whole saga started with $60K of windfall, and them spending it all PLUS ending up with $29K in debt. She asked me to advance her $5K so she could repay some of it. We declined, but helped with food, clothing and such. I am pretty sure all her lenders never saw any money. We left the city a year later and last I heard Brodie had left her and her 3 kids and move out west to Nevada to make his fortune in Las Vegas!
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Mar 30, 2022 12:41:10 GMT -5
OMG
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 30, 2022 12:51:34 GMT -5
Well, when I was helping out on the floor this weekend I got to hear about the $8,000 401K loan to fund a life-sized wax Elvis.
They never fail to disappoint me out there.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2022 12:53:23 GMT -5
Well, when I was helping out on the floor this weekend I got to hear about the $8,000 401K loan to fund a life-sized wax Elvis.
They never fail to disappoint me out there. Pictures or this never happened. I wanna see an $8k Elvis statue.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 30, 2022 13:01:38 GMT -5
Well, when I was helping out on the floor this weekend I got to hear about the $8,000 401K loan to fund a life-sized wax Elvis.
They never fail to disappoint me out there. Pictures or this never happened. I wanna see an $8k Elvis statue. Yeah...I didn't ask her to email me a link. I pretty much just smiled and nodded.
I googled it and there are some pretty ugly ones out there.
eta: She's an Elvis fanatic. President of some fan club, goes to Graceland practically every year it seems...either that or an Elvis themed vacation of some sort or another.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Mar 30, 2022 13:06:13 GMT -5
I cannot fathom the thought process that would go into making that decision
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Mar 30, 2022 13:06:49 GMT -5
I moved in with someone after knowing them for only four months, he paid his bills every other month, and was in default on his SLs at the time. We've been together almost 15 years now and are coming up on our ninth wedding anniversary. I love the guy and we've built a great life together, but man, 25-year-old me was dumb as hell.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 30, 2022 13:22:25 GMT -5
I cannot fathom the thought process that would go into making that decision 401K's are piggy banks to a lot of people I work with. Up to 50K you can get anytime for whatever you want with just a few clicks of the mouse. Thankfully, they only allow one loan at a time, so you have to pay off the wax Elvis before you can borrow again for the cruise or new car. Where my ex works you can't take loans at all unless it's for a house purchase or you can show financial hardship of some kind.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2022 13:46:50 GMT -5
I cannot fathom the thought process that would go into making that decision The 401k loan or the wax Elvis? I'm stuck on the wax Elvis. I had no idea that was a thing.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Mar 30, 2022 13:54:05 GMT -5
The wax Elvis. How that is a "need" is beyond my level of understanding. $8000, are you kidding me. Then to make the mistake of using a 401K loan. My god. I could see using a $401k loan for an emergency or for a house downpayment. Sometimes shit happens.
But Elvis, SMH
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 30, 2022 14:04:07 GMT -5
Oh, she will 100% agree it was a frivolous want. Just doesn't care. She's 63 and says she will work at least until 70 because she likes to spend money too much. I told her I was out of here at 59. She said "How? You're not old enough at 59". Uh...you got enough money you can retire at 29 if you want.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 30, 2022 14:06:25 GMT -5
I cannot fathom the thought process that would go into making that decision I can, but it involves hallucinogenics.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2022 14:17:03 GMT -5
Well, when I was helping out on the floor this weekend I got to hear about the $8,000 401K loan to fund a life-sized wax Elvis.
Hey, it's an INVESTMENT! But, on the subject of bad 401(k) decisions, my company was acquired after the acquiring company had terminated its DB pension plan. Those of us in the acquired company were not eligible for the plan and instead were give 6% of salary every March deposited into the 401(k), regardless of what else we put in. (If you're going to terminate your pension plan that's a high-class way to do it.) A coworker would immediately take the 6% out as soon as it was deposited. Since he was under 59 1/2, he paid regular taxes on the withdrawal PLUS the 10% penalty. Of course, he lived on a "hobby farm" where he kept all kinds of cute but useless critters like little horses and exotic Chinese chickens, so maybe he needed the money. I told her I was out of here at 59. She said "How? You're not old enough at 59". Uh...you got enough money you can retire at 29 if you want. Someone on the Early Retirement Board told a coworker eh was retiring and the response was, "But... but.. you're too young to file for Social Security!"
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Mar 30, 2022 15:47:36 GMT -5
I love DH and I obviously wouldn't have the girls of we had never met. But the damage his demons has done to our finances is something that can't be ignored either. It'll eventually get fixed but there are times when I get resentful and upset thinking about how far I could be if DH wasn't DH. It's not an every day thing anymore but in times of disruption and change it pops in my head and I have to shove it back in It's box. Marrying DH wasn't dumb for personal reasons but it's up there on the bad finances list. Wouldn't trade the girls to do it over again though. while the past is the past, I underrstand why you are resentful. I know it's been rough for you - and likely the girls too. But - staying on this path is a decision you are making daily. I do wish you the best whichever way you choose to go. I do think stress does being out negative thoughts about the current/past - even fture - situations. Sometimes we do need to get through the touh times before things get back to normal feelings and being more at equilibirium.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 30, 2022 15:49:55 GMT -5
Someone on the Early Retirement Board told a coworker eh was retiring and the response was, "But... but.. you're too young to file for Social Security!" I think that's what my coworker was getting at with the "not old enough" comment too.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Mar 30, 2022 17:01:50 GMT -5
As I'm reflecting on how I want the next decade of my life to go...I'm thinking about the (really) bad financial decisions I've made. Having four kids and being married in a community property state comes to mind. It is sobering to figure out how much better of a financial position I'd be if I had 0 dependents...I could have hung it up at my dayjob in about 5 years... A few years ago I did the math to estimate how big an investment account you would have at age 65 if you invested the cost of raising two children (about $250K each, according to the USDA). I figured you’d have about $5 million. Your spouse may be the most expensive hobby you’ve ever taken up. But your kids may well be the poorest financial decision of your life. Good thing both spouses and kids provide other intrinsic benefits, or we wouldn’t bother with either.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Mar 30, 2022 17:14:42 GMT -5
Feeling inspired by this thread...I think I'll order a matched set 😅
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Mar 30, 2022 17:15:33 GMT -5
Just think, giant Elvis candles for your birthday party, what could go wrong?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2022 17:21:25 GMT -5
Feeling inspired by this thread...I think I'll order a matched set 😅 That is terrifying. Now I want one to put in the hallway at night. It'd give DH a heart attack.🤣
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