Really bad financial decisions

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

My sister dropped out of high school--due to stubbornness not academic dumbness. Our mother still pays for her housing. 

[Lizard Queen]

My 54 yo brother is planning to retire at 60, with not much saved. He doesn't think he's going to live to be that old, but he's not terribly sick or anything. He doesn't drink or smoke, has got a belly in his old age, but nowhere close to obese. He just eats like shit, but is on no medications that I know of.

He's very frugal, except when it comes to his middle son's travel hockey and out of town tournaments. Plus, he's planning on buying a GMC truck. I dunno, maybe he plans on fishing for a living for a while. I'll let you know how it turns out. Maybe he's planning on taking all the money from the sale of my mom's house. It would still be a small amount to retire on. I'll let you all know, I'm sure.

It seems that the worst people with money also get tremendous luck, too. His ex-wife is awful with it, but wins $1000's at the casino. I'm lucky if I win $0.50.

[Sharon]

A co-worker of mine defines financial train wreck

1.  She was constantly on the phone rearranging when various creditors would pull money from her account.

2.  She kept all her kids on the her health insurance even though they were working and no longer living at home.  She wanted them double covered.  Her husband kept telling her to drop the kids from the insurance but she wouldn't.

3.  She paid all of the kids car insurance.  They seemed to have multiple tickets and she was really upset when her DD bought a new SUV and how much it was going to raise her car insurance. 

4.  Her DS had a destination wedding and she paid for all the wedding things and then couldn't afford to fly to the wedding so she missed it.  Then she paid for a reception in the local area since so many people missed the wedding.

5.  She needed new brakes for her car but couldn't afford them but the dealership was willing to finance a new car for her, so she did that.

6.  She was really glad that she had listened to other people and contributed to the 401K because then she had money when her kids were in high school to be able to buy them cars.

Her kids were entitled brats from what I could tell and were always calling up Mom insisting she pay for this or that.

[Deleted]

Mar 20, 2022 8:49:24 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Does not staying married to someone who eventually inherited around $3,000,000 from parents count?  I just felt like I would be a high class hooker for hanging for another 17 yrs just to get money. Nah, not a bad financial just a keep my sanity decision.  

I agree with your last sentence.  

You had no idea how long they'd live or whether LTC would suck up a lot of that.

They could have decided to leave it to a home for stray cats.

The life you've had since you divorced him would not have happened.

You might have felt the need to hang around after they died so people wouldn't say, "Well, she was just WAITING for him to inherit and then she divorced him".  (Which, of course, would have been true. )

You did the right thing.
 

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Mar 19, 2022 13:59:02 GMT -5 swamp said:

IWhat are some that you’ve seen?  

Got laid off, used severance package and cashed out retirement to build a garage. 

Took max HELOC and invested it in tech stocks at the top of the market.  Market crashes.  (1998?) Loses everything. Still paying off HELOC 10 years later 

used mom’s retirement to day trade. Heavily invested in tech.  Market crashes while he’s not able to trade   Loses all of mom’s money. 

Buys apartment building.  Doesn’t have insurance.  Rents to meth heads.  Meth lab blow up in apartment

Runs up credit card debt. Cashed out retirement to pay it off.  Runs it up again. 

are these former clients of yours?

or - who you keeping company with these days??

Or is this all the same person

[Bonny]

You've heard enough of my stories about the crazy stuff my folks did...and my brother.

I'm just so very grateful I didn't have to support my parents through nursing home care. Thank you, U.S., tax payers!

My brother will be his kids' problem.

[busymom]

I worked with a woman who was nice, but was awful when it came to finances.  She just couldn't seem to save up for anything.  Yet, she'd buy herself jewelry, and would state that it would be worth the investment "someday".  She should've put that money into real estate, or just about anything else. (Yes, she had a house foreclosed on...)  

[happyhoix]

Oh yeah I forgot about the coworker who wrecked three cars within about 5 years - every time it was because she was talking on her cell phone. The last one, the worst one, she was speeding at night, in the rain, and failed to notice blue lights ahead, so she had to slam on the brakes when she got to the scene of the wreck. Her car hydroplaned and she slammed into someone who was standing on the side of the road, causing them significant injury (fortunately didn’t kill her).

She became nearly uninsurable. She had a friend in the insurance agency who was finally able to find one company who was willing to insure her but for really high premiums. She was complaining to me about how much her insurance cost, and I suggested she should stop talking on her cell phone will driving, and if she could go 5 or 10 years with no more wrecks her premiums would go down, but she laughed and said she couldn’t drive without talking on the cell phone, because driving is boring.

She moved on after that, I don’t know if she kept talking while driving or not. Fingers crossed she finally got some sense before she killed someone or herself.

[hurley1980]

Mar 19, 2022 18:54:55 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

My older sister got down sized in her 40s and decided she wanted to go back to school to be a paralegal. Cashed out her 401K to live on and pay tuition for the 2 year program,. Got a job on graduation, worked for a few years, then at 50 decided she had ‘worked long enough’, plus where she lived was very cold in the morning and she was tired of getting up early, going out into the cold to start her car for warm up for a while. Headed into early retirement with zero pension, zero 401K, too young to get SS. She complained a lot that people where both spouses worked (like me) should give more money to people who didn’t work, like her., because they were ‘rolling in dough.’

Co worker put 100% of her 401K into our company stock. When I tried to talk her into a balanced portfolio to mitigate her risk, she said she trusted her co-workers to work hard and keep the company stock high. Company made a series of bad moves, had to declare bankruptcy, and got bought up by a competitor for pennys on the dollar.

My other sister’s DH was having an affair with a woman he met at a bar. He drained his 401K paying for her rent and living expenses; when he took a second mortgage on the house and my sister got a copy of the paperwork in the mail and confronted him, he finally confessed. He’s been working two jobs for the last 10 years or so to pay back the second mortgage and try to scrape back some retirement savings before he retirees in a couple years. My sister stayed with him; I probably wouldn’t have.

My ex-husband did this with his 401k when we separated, so he could buy his mistress (my former bff) a car, pay her legal bills, and her rent.  When he ran out of money to pay for her crap, she dumped him.  Lol  sometimes karma comes through after all!

[gacpa]

My uncle passed in 2017 and left a significant inheritance to my cousin who lived out of state.  Two years later, the cousin passed.  His daughter has already run through the uncle's inheritance that her father had not yet blown through and is broke now.  She won't work, and she can't pay her rent.  My mom rides to the rescue, and buys her out of her share of the family farm.  So now she has six figures of cash to run through.  I bet it won't last a year.  I don't know what you do with people who won't learn to take care of themselves.  She says she is going to use the money to pay off her truck and send her boyfriend to college.  I just give up.  She has a little boy to raise.

[TheOtherMe]

Mar 21, 2022 14:52:20 GMT -5 gacpa said:

My uncle passed in 2017 and left a significant inheritance to my cousin who lived out of state.  Two years later, the cousin passed.  His daughter has already run through the uncle's inheritance that her father had not yet blown through and is broke now.  She won't work, and she can't pay her rent.  My mom rides to the rescue, and buys her out of her share of the family farm.  So now she has six figures of cash to run through.  I bet it won't last a year.  I don't know what you do with people who won't learn to take care of themselves.  She says she is going to use the money to pay off her truck and send her boyfriend to college.  I just give up.  She has a little boy to raise.

This is the sad part.  

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2022 17:11:35 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Mar 21, 2022 14:52:20 GMT -5 gacpa said:

She has a little boy to raise.

This is the sad part.  

Yes, that immediately made me sad, too.  It's one thing to mess your won life up but another to subject a child to the consequences.  Too bad she didn't think of putting HERSELF through college but it doesn't sound like she had the ambition.

[gacpa]

Yes, sad all the way around.  She did not finish high school and won't get her GED.  College not an option.  

[movingforward]

Mar 19, 2022 17:30:29 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Mar 19, 2022 16:43:43 GMT -5 pooks said:

I know it might be unpopular, but I can see doing this one.  DH's employer gives out lots of vacation, but in the past kept everyone so busy they couldn't use it and definitely discouraged using it more than 1-2 weeks at a time.  If he got a years severance and medical insurance, we would be going on some long vacations, while we are still young enough to enjoy them.  

I really want to plan a mini and early retirement like this. Take a year off when I'm 50 or so, plan on a 2nd year to look for a new job.

Probably a pipe dream, but it sounds amazing.

I've been thinking along the same lines. Would like to take some time off in my mid 50's to do some extensive travel, etc while I'm still young enough to really enjoy it. In a perfect world (which we know this isn't) I would have enough saved that going back to work would be optional. I can't imagine I would completely want to not work at all from 55 forward but it would give me peace of mind to know I could. Taking about a year off sounds fabulous but finding another job in my 50's might not be so easy. Knowing I have the means to just work a part-time job at Barnes and Nobles (or something) after taking a year off is the only way I can fathom pulling the trigger.

[NoNamePerson]

Mar 21, 2022 17:25:12 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Mar 21, 2022 17:11:35 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

This is the sad part.  

Yes, that immediately made me sad, too.  It's one thing to mess your won life up but another to subject a child to the consequences.  Too bad she didn't think of putting HERSELF through college but it doesn't sound like she had the ambition.

And she’ll put boyfriend thru college and then he’ll her.    Yep, I’m jaded. 

[gacpa]

And she’ll put boyfriend thru college and then he’ll her. 

I guess I am jaded too, because I thought the same thing myself.

[TheOtherMe]

I thought the same thing.  

[Artemis Windsong]

I have a lot. My Dad had bought a ranch for fiance/me to run when I was a teen. In hind sight things were bizarre. My Dad would tell me to take the car and drive it until I saw a certain name on the mail box. I was a new driver never, having driven out of the city and he did that to me. I never found it. To make matters worse, fiance was working the ranch and asking why I never showed up for work. Also my brothers would basically say the same. I had no idea where it was.

Going forward, fiance managed to keep the ranch and earnings from me for over 55 years. He scammed my family saying the money was in the bank in my name. But where? Going forward, said ex-fiance calls and the ranch is going to be taken because of some illegal things he'd done.

I asked him if I had money to bail the ranch out since the court just wanted money. He said yes. I told him to take the money to the court to redeem the ranch. He did. That family never recognized what they owed me.

After losing face, ex-fiance goes to Deadwood SD. He's broke but can sit in Saloon 10 all day. He said he was broke and had no income. I asked him if the bar was for sale. Yes, he took some of the money held back from me and bought it. That mushroomed into the casino business and billions of dollars. Now probably trillions. He still keeps all money from me. His answers are, it's right here. I haven't completed the "list" of things he thinks I need to do. I have zero idea what's on that list.

This saga gets much worse. He starts sending cash by a courier supposedly to me. The money is misappropriated by the courier for 20 years buying other women cars and houses. I had zero idea about this. I'm confused when people thank me for the car or house. These people also bully me to the point I sometimes feared for my safety. Then they'd ask me to go on vacation trips which of course I wouldn't with that mistreatment. They would gladly go.

A lot came together when I overheard a friend talking to one of the scammers. I heard her say she (me) doesn't have his phone number and never has. Scammer said I called him everyday talking about the latest BF activities. Ex-fiance was crying everyday. My friend had met ex-fiance in a small town coffee shop. He told her his sanitized version. At the time she didn't know me, so she tracked me down and joined my tennis group. She asked me about what happened. He told people he hurt me so badly emotionally I didn't know who he is. My side. Ex-fiance was extremely abusive so I had to get away. He weighs 400 lbs.

That part of my life is a nightmare. I try not to dwell on it too much because azhat ex-fiance will not ever give me free/clear what is rightfully mine. I have never had help with this mess, and certainly don't have money for a lawyer.

A lot of people on this board years ago know about the current marriage nightmare. The marriage seems fine now but the under story is not good.

I took my older brother to court mediation to get the money out of the house that was inherited from my parents. My brothers would have gotten away with all the cash/securities in the brokerage account except for the broker direct disbursement. The estate was supposed to be settled in 1994 when my Dad passed. They kept things going to line their own pockets with zero concern for me, their sister.

Another land/property theft by my uncle. My grandfather had a piece of land that he had put an allodial land patent in my name so no one could take it from me. Dastardly uncle managed to get it out from under me because he had the deed. This same uncle managed to keep all the money from their parents house saying he owed the retirement home the money. My Dad had faithfully paid the monthly bill for years. My Dad was handed a jar of pennys for his portion of the estate.

Said older brother had taken a 2nd mortgage out on the house he and wife owned (3 kids). All was okay until the divorce. The house was foreclosed on. She was totally blindsided and not making enough money to easily rehouse the family. While married they lived pretty high life style. When she was laid off from her job, she left the kids with him then spent her retirement for a trip to Alaska to see her BF.

H's. older brother's wife died from cancer. She had a huge inheritance as well as a lot of financial assets of her own. He sold everything then blew the money buying friends. Right now he's in the Philippines with someone who would have been a mail order bride.

If you read all this, thank you.

[djAdvocate]

loaned $10k to a friend of a friend.  he died of a heroin overdose.

[seriousthistime]

Friend went into business selling cosmetics and wellness products for a MLM company.  If you reached a certain level of sales with your own downlines and business builders and such, the MLM company would pay for a new or late model white Mercedes of your choice.  The company required that you buy $X per month of product for yourself and your own stock.  Friend was a bit short of reaching the Mercedes level as a family event approached and she really wanted to have that car in time for that event.  She bought a LOT of product for her own stock to reach that level.  The car was lovely, loaded with every option, and come to find out the MLM company would not buy the car outright, it would pay your lease payment each month you and your downline maintained the required sales level.  Friend was committed to astronomical car lease payments.  To keep up, she continued to buy product for her stock, and paid her bills with credit cards.  Eventually she ended up turning in the car and filing bankruptcy to get out from under the lease payments and credit cards. 

She always said she chose to live a life of abundance rather than a life of scarcity.  And she defined scarcity as careful spending and putting money aside for a rainy day when abundance meant she could enjoy her money RIGHT NOW. 

[busymom]

Mar 21, 2022 18:35:04 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Mar 21, 2022 17:25:12 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Yes, that immediately made me sad, too.  It's one thing to mess your won life up but another to subject a child to the consequences.  Too bad she didn't think of putting HERSELF through college but it doesn't sound like she had the ambition.

And she’ll put boyfriend thru college and then he’ll her.    Yep, I’m jaded. 

     I had a relative who put her HUSBAND through medical school, and he dumped her after he graduated, and took up with a younger woman.  She got burned in the divorce, too.  I would NEVER put anyone through schooling unless they were working at least part-time, and we had a formal written agreement that if he ever left, he had to pay me back.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Mar 26, 2022 14:14:44 GMT -5 djAdvocate said:

loaned $10k to a friend of a friend.  he died of a heroin overdose.

oh my gosh, that is so horrible. I'm so sorry.

[djAdvocate]

Mar 26, 2022 15:16:14 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Mar 26, 2022 14:14:44 GMT -5 djAdvocate said:

loaned $10k to a friend of a friend.  he died of a heroin overdose.

oh my gosh, that is so horrible. I'm so sorry.

thanks, Rukh.  he was actually a somewhat famous musician, down on his luck, with a wife and two kids.  thought i could help.  but he was a little beyond the kind of help i could offer.

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2022 14:59:59 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

The car was lovely, loaded with every option, and come to find out the MLM company would not buy the car outright, it would pay your lease payment each month you and your downline maintained the required sales level.  Friend was committed to astronomical car lease payments.  To keep up, she continued to buy product for her stock, and paid her bills with credit cards.  Eventually she ended up turning in the car and filing bankruptcy to get out from under the lease payments and credit cards. 

I think this is similar to Mary Kay- there's a web site called thepinktruth.com about them.   There are plenty of Mary Kay and Lulemon items for sale cheap on e-Bay, which are probably from dealers getting out of the business.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Mar 26, 2022 16:04:01 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Mar 26, 2022 14:59:59 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

The car was lovely, loaded with every option, and come to find out the MLM company would not buy the car outright, it would pay your lease payment each month you and your downline maintained the required sales level.  Friend was committed to astronomical car lease payments.  To keep up, she continued to buy product for her stock, and paid her bills with credit cards.  Eventually she ended up turning in the car and filing bankruptcy to get out from under the lease payments and credit cards. 

I think this is similar to Mary Kay- there's a web site called thepinktruth.com about them.   There are plenty of Mary Kay and Lulemon items for sale cheap on e-Bay, which are probably from dealers getting out of the business.

They get pissed at you if you tell them you already own a car and besides you hate pink.🤣

[stillmovingforward]

Mar 26, 2022 15:16:01 GMT -5 busymom said:

Mar 21, 2022 18:35:04 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

And she’ll put boyfriend thru college and then he’ll her.    Yep, I’m jaded. 

     I had a relative who put her HUSBAND through medical school, and he dumped her after he graduated, and took up with a younger woman.  She got burned in the divorce, too.  I would NEVER put anyone through schooling unless they were working at least part-time, and we had a formal written agreement that if he ever left, he had to pay me back.

My DH put me through college for a well paying career. He stayed a blue collar worker by choice. It worked out well for us. We came close to divorce once. I started down that road knowing I might have to pay alimony due to him paying for my degree. We reconciled (for other reasons) and don't regret the degree or the reconcile.

[minnesotapaintlady]

I put Ex 1.0 through college, got an offer in compromise approved with the IRS to wipe out his huge back tax bill (which I paid a lot of) and got him his job that he's been at now since 1995.  Pretty sure that's a lot of the reason he's had my back since the divorce and was never so much as a day late in child support.

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2022 19:47:26 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

Mar 26, 2022 15:16:01 GMT -5 busymom said:

     I had a relative who put her HUSBAND through medical school, and he dumped her after he graduated, and took up with a younger woman.  She got burned in the divorce, too.  I would NEVER put anyone through schooling unless they were working at least part-time, and we had a formal written agreement that if he ever left, he had to pay me back.

My DH put me through college for a well paying career. He stayed a blue collar worker by choice. It worked out well for us. We came close to divorce once. I started down that road knowing I might have to pay alimony due to him paying for my degree. We reconciled (for other reasons) and don't regret the degree or the reconcile.

My sister's husband put her through medical school after they'd had 3 kids.  He was smart and hard-working but tried college and it just wasn't his thing.  Sometimes he worked 3 jobs so she could realize that dream.  I'm happy to say they're still together (30 years after graduation) and it's a strong marriage.  I agree- it's a gamble and if the marriage had broken up she'd definitely owe him support. 

[steph08]

I put my DH through college as well - we weren't even married yet when he was laid off from his job and started back (we knew he was getting laid off a few months in advance). We got married two months later.

It's been 10 years since he graduated, and it was still a good decision.

[jeffreymo]

Family member quit job last year to have a baby, expecting the child tax credit payments to be rolling in to help expenses. The IRS never sent them any for whatever reason. Ran out of money somehow despite the husbands full time job and ultra low expenses - no special pregnancy care or complications, rent is only about $600, free preschool for other child, one small car payment etc…

I received a call from them about H&R Block and their taxes possibly being done wrong and they were unsure if they received the full child tax credit (child was born in December). I reviewed and everything was done correctly. I noticed that H&R Block charged them $400 to have the refund advanced to them or some type of instant transfer fee. At a family gathering I found out that another family member who is in group housing, has a guardian, and is on SSDI which is managed by the guardian - lent the couple money to tide them over until they received their refund. So they must have promised to pay him back at a certain time with refund money. I’m wondering who else they owed money to.

They have been asking me lately if I think that the child tax credits are going to start back up because she doesn’t want to go back to work.

It’s been a long term pattern with this couple. I have no idea where their money goes but they’re always broke, and they never plan for emergencies. They needed to replace tires on a car one time and since they didn’t have the funds they decided to trade the car in and get another car with the same payment.

There is no talks of buying their own house or saving for their kids education or anything like that. Zero forward thinking. And no panic or worry until it’s right in front of them.