raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 24, 2022 11:17:24 GMT -5
I highly recommend the dumpster. They aren't super expensive here like $200-250. They have ones that fit in our parking spot. The guy drops off and we load up and he takes it away. We've done some remodeling and it is nice to get stuff out of the house in one swoop. We don't own a truck and it's difficult to coordinate to get the when it's open. Convenience wins. I think I'm going to end up cleaning out my collections from my grandma's house soon. It's a very long story but I think additional people are moving in soon. I'm not sure about what to do with them. I don't really want them and have no room for all of them. I struggle with the idea of just dumping them at Goodwill. The struggle is that my grandma bought all these things and they were never high income. Sure they were cute when I was 10-11. If I could go back in time I wouldn't get as many. I doubt there's much of a market for these things. You enjoyed them at the time, and your grandma enjoyed getting them for you. I think that's enough and moving them on now doesn't change that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2022 11:53:59 GMT -5
Pat yourself on the back instead of beating yourself up. At least you had the sense to reclaim your space and your time. I haven't been using that type of sense for years.
My pride is preventing me from describing the conditions of my home, basement and garage in much detail. About the only thing that I can say in my defense is that I was losing the battle slowly until I helped my parents move out of the house that they had occupied for almost 40 years. They'd been de-cluttering for at least two years and had gotten rid of a tremendous amount of stuff but they ran into time pressure after it sold. (They lived thirty miles from the closest Goodwill and the town was only open two days a week.) So I filled my car with stuff that they did not have the time or the energy to dispose of properly. It's all in the garage now and it is in piles instead of boxes. It blocks access to the storage loft and the empty shelves on the edge of the garage. There aren't even paths through it.
I successfully decluttered my house several years ago, and I will share how I did it again, in hopes that it might help you in some way. The first thing, is know that it took several months before I was “done”. It was not a quick process. The second thing that I think is important, is my ultimate goal for my home was to ONLY surround myself with things that I needed and actually used, and things that I loved. Sticking to that rule and being honest with myself about it, was a HUGE help with making hard decisions easier. I don’t remember if I started in a specific area of the house, but I remember I worked in steps. First, I got rid of everything it was easy to make a decision on, I didn’t need or use it, it didn’t work properly, I didn’t like it, and it had no sentimental value to me, gone! Then I moved on to things I had to think about a little, but still were fairly easy to get rid of. Then I did things that were a little more difficult to make decisions on, but I still stuck to my rule. It had to be useful and actually used or I had to love it, to keep it. So my “steps” were really just working my way up to the most difficult decisions, which for me were things somebody had given me, and books. The books were a huge deal. I’d been an avid reader since elementary school, and as an adult, I had never given one of my books away. I kept them even if I didn’t really like them. Books were all over my house. An overflowing bookcase, stacked in my den and in my bedroom, in plastic totes in my attic, DD’s bedroom closet and under her bed. When I was finally able to go through my books, determined to only keep what would fit on the bookcase, I felt like I had turned a major corner on being able to let stuff go. Instead of being painful, it felt very freeing. I did do some specific areas by themselves, like my clothes and my kitchen. I followed the same steps though, starting out with the easy stuff. Once I got started on my decluttering binge and gained momentum, it was fairly easy for me to keep going. Mostly because I started to realize just how much crap I had in my little house. The first 2 steps allowed me to see more clearly all the crap I still had, and I learned that I am an expert at what I called organized chaos. I could fit a whole LOT of stuff in tiny spaces, and I knew exactly where everything was, even if I hadn’t used it in years. In hindsight, I’m still amazed at the huge amount of stuff that came out of my house. I enjoyed my house so much more when I was done. Everything I kept had a place to “live”, so it was easier to keep things clean and organized. And it was nice that except for some furniture I kept (and I did get rid of furniture too), everything on display was pleasing to my eye. I never missed ANYTHING I got rid of, which is often an excuse…. Keeping stuff because you might need it one day. I never had reason to regret getting rid of even one thing. I didn’t try to sell anything, for fear it might hang around too long. I threw stuff away, gave away whatever somebody I knew wanted, took stuff to the Goodwill, and put big items on the curb for whoever to get if they wanted it. More than once, I saw people getting stuff off the ground next to my trash can before the trucks ran on garbage pickup day, then raising the lid to see if there was more. I was putting stuff on the curb so regularly, that I think it became a spot for people to check. I didn’t mind. My next door neighbors immediately carried off a table I’d put on the curb with a “FREE” sign on it. Fine with me. I am going to start the whole process again this spring. It will be more difficult this time because I will have to harass Mister about getting rid of some of his stuff and figuring out how to keep it organized. I lived alone when I did it before. My exact methods may not work for you, but hopefully you find something useful in this post. If you start around the time I do and need a partner that’s doing the same thing to encourage you, I’ll be your partner.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2022 13:15:00 GMT -5
I was able to make a lot of progress myself by first going through each room and getting rid of the easy things. The ones that had no sentimental value.
Next round was harder and so it took longer. I was able to get rid of some things with sentimental value.
Then my parents died and I acquired so much stuff.
That is when I hired the organizer for 3 hour sessions. I have had 3 sessions with her and not made messes out of those areas again. We make a big mess in the process. She has totes for donate, keep and shred. I don't try to sell stuff because it does just sit around. I don't live in an area where "free" signs work. Town of 2000. By the time she leaves, the mess is cleaned up. She takes all the donations and recycling with her so I only have to deal with trash and what I have decided to keep.
I have had a difficult time letting go of a lot of stuff that belonged to my parents. I don't know when that will become easier. I know I will be keeping things like the photographs, etc.
I have yet to miss anything I've gotten rid of.
Organizer is coming back in early June to go through the garage. That is it's own disaster.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 24, 2022 14:15:22 GMT -5
I'm terrified of going through my parents things because dsis and I deal with stuff so differently. Hopefully we have a couple decades before we have to think about it.
My parents still have a lot of stuff at my house. 2 storage rooms inside and 1/3rd of the garage. I won't throw out their stuff. They gave us a great discount on the house and storing stuff is the least we can do repayment wise. But I won't be in slow and steady mode. I'll be ready for a dumpster and I think it will strain dsis and I to find middle ground.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Feb 24, 2022 15:21:06 GMT -5
That's pretty much the approach that I've been using, Pink Cashmere. I'm going for the easy choices first. It will clear up some room so that I'll be able to create the workspace that Tiny recommended. Unlike you, I'm spending an awful lot of time moving stuff to where its pals are especially clothing and tools. I'm not trying too hard to get rid of such stuff since I figure that the choices will become much easier once all that stuff is together. The worst stuff will be obvious, as will the level of redundancy.
Plus, it's the approach that I can get myself to use. I'm a little depressed, so using the Konmari method seems like a bad idea. Nothing would spark joy. I might land up throwing everything out and buying even worse replacements.
My ability to get rid of stuff seems to differ dramatically from day to day and hour to hour. This morning I had two good bursts of "I never want to see this again" and managed to get rid of a damaged desk and a hairdryer that I bought over 30 years ago and have hated ever since. In the afternoon, I sorted through a foot of paper but only managed to get rid of half of it.
I'm keeping track of progress by moving money from my checking account into an inactive savings account. First I leveled off the account to a nice even number. Then I added the cost of a dumpster rental. Then I started moving $1 per full grocery bag (paper) that I managed to get into the trash or recycling bin. I'm doing the same thing with donations. I'm also finding a whole lot of pennies in the bottoms of these boxes, so that amount gets moved too. It's a way of keeping track of progress and also of accumulating enough cash that it doesn't hurt too much when I get to the stuff that I will have to pay to get rid of. The dumpster rental amount is intended as a reward for myself if I manage to avoid using a dumpster.
Yes, I would love for you to be my partner in this. You'll probably be making harder decisions than me, but hearing about them will dampen my desire to obtain more stuff.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 24, 2022 15:32:10 GMT -5
I think the Konmari method has limited applications. It's possibly useful if you have too many things in a category. I just don't find it useful. As an adult living in a house in a 4 season climate, certain things are necessary.
I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix. They act like that can be applied to everything and I just don't think that's true. I can choose to keep the ones I like best if I have an overflow, but snow boots, work clothes, etc do not spark joy in me.
I think it's important to find what works best for you. It's personal and I don't think there's a right or wrong approach if it gets you to your goal.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2022 15:40:01 GMT -5
That's pretty much the approach that I've been using, Pink Cashmere. I'm going for the easy choices first. It will clear up some room so that I'll be able to create the workspace that Tiny recommended. Unlike you, I'm spending an awful lot of time moving stuff to where its pals are especially clothing and tools. I'm not trying too hard to get rid of such stuff since I figure that the choices will become much easier once all that stuff is together. The worst stuff will be obvious, as will the level of redundancy.
Plus, it's the approach that I can get myself to use. I'm a little depressed, so using the Konmari method seems like a bad idea. Nothing would spark joy. I might land up throwing everything out and buying even worse replacements.
My ability to get rid of stuff seems to differ dramatically from day to day and hour to hour. This morning I had two good bursts of "I never want to see this again" and managed to get rid of a damaged desk and a hairdryer that I bought over 30 years ago and have hated ever since. In the afternoon, I sorted through a foot of paper but only managed to get rid of half of it.
I'm keeping track of progress by moving money from my checking account into an inactive savings account. First I leveled off the account to a nice even number. Then I added the cost of a dumpster rental. Then I started moving $1 per full grocery bag (paper) that I managed to get into the trash or recycling bin. I'm doing the same thing with donations. I'm also finding a whole lot of pennies in the bottoms of these boxes, so that amount gets moved too. It's a way of keeping track of progress and also of accumulating enough cash that it doesn't hurt too much when I get to the stuff that I will have to pay to get rid of. The dumpster rental amount is intended as a reward for myself if I manage to avoid using a dumpster.
Yes, I would love for you to be my partner in this. You'll probably be making harder decisions than me, but hearing about them will dampen my desire to obtain more stuff.
I firmly believe you and anybody else should use whatever approach works. I don’t think there is a “right” way to get it done. What you are doing by putting like stuff together to better see what you have in that category makes sense. Especially if it’s working for you and helping you make decisions. You made progress today. Even if it wasn’t as much as you might have preferred, it’s still progress and a few less things weighing you down. Every little bit matters, and eventually all those little bits will add up and make a big difference. You can send me a PM anytime, if you get stuck or just want to talk about it. If I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks when I really get busy with it, I will PM you and we can go from there. How does that sound? PS. I didn’t miss that you said you are a little depressed. I know how depression can make so many things difficult. I sincerely hope that it gets better for you soon.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 24, 2022 15:42:52 GMT -5
I think the Konmari method has limited applications. It's possibly useful if you have too many things in a category. I just don't find it useful. As an adult living in a house in a 4 season climate, certain things are necessary. I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix. They act like that can be applied to everything and I just don't think that's true. I can choose to keep the ones I like best if I have an overflow, but snow boots, work clothes, etc do not spark joy in me. I think it's important to find what works best for you. It's personal and I don't think there's a right or wrong approach if it gets you to your goal. I was reading about her getting rid of multiples of the same tool and only keeping the one pink screwdriver she liked. Yeah the one screwdriver that "brings me joy" philosophy does not work in this house. I need multiples each version because one of the men in my life walks off with the other one and I have no idea which house it's in. It could be driving around in my dad's car for all I know. Not to mention various sizes because the giant flathead of doom is not going to work on the battery case for my daughter's Hatchimal. I've read the book and she admits in the book that her method isn't always practical. Like if you live in an area with different seasons or you need more than one type of tool. Me having one screwdriver of each kind would be less clutter but having multiples of them saves me time and money. I consider it worth the trade off.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2022 15:48:55 GMT -5
I think the Konmari method has limited applications. It's possibly useful if you have too many things in a category. I just don't find it useful. As an adult living in a house in a 4 season climate, certain things are necessary. I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix. They act like that can be applied to everything and I just don't think that's true. I can choose to keep the ones I like best if I have an overflow, but snow boots, work clothes, etc do not spark joy in me. I think it's important to find what works best for you. It's personal and I don't think there's a right or wrong approach if it gets you to your goal. I read a little on the blog, it didn’t keep my interest. With my rule that I only keep what I need and actually use, and what I love….. snow boots and work clothes would fall under need and use for me. It makes perfect sense to keep them, and if that doesn’t fit into the Konmari method, I find that weird. I don’t need snow boots where I live, but I have a pair of UGG boots (NOT the ones that pop into most people’s head when they think of UGG boots lol) that I won’t throw away until they are worn out. They are my go to shoes in the winter when it’s super cold outside or raining or snowing because they are warm and waterproof.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Feb 24, 2022 15:56:18 GMT -5
I think the Konmari method has limited applications. It's possibly useful if you have too many things in a category. I just don't find it useful. As an adult living in a house in a 4 season climate, certain things are necessary. I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix. They act like that can be applied to everything and I just don't think that's true. I can choose to keep the ones I like best if I have an overflow, but snow boots, work clothes, etc do not spark joy in me. I think it's important to find what works best for you. It's personal and I don't think there's a right or wrong approach if it gets you to your goal. I was reading about her getting rid of multiples of the same tool and only keeping the one pink screwdriver she liked. Yeah the one screwdriver that "brings me joy" philosophy does not work in this house. I need multiples each version because one of the men in my life walks off with the other one and I have no idea which house it's in. It could be driving around in my dad's car for all I know. Not to mention various sizes because the giant flathead of doom is not going to work on the battery case for my daughter's Hatchimal. I've read the book and she admits in the book that her method isn't always practical. Like if you live in an area with different seasons or you need more than one type of tool. Me having one screwdriver of each kind would be less clutter but having multiples of them saves me time and money. I consider it worth the trade off. Actually, having only pink-handled tools is an excellent way of keeping men from relocating them. A lot of guys would prefer to go to the hardware store and buy a tool rather than borrow a pink one. They also seem to be really good at returning the pink tools that they find a way to use without anyone seeing them do it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 24, 2022 15:58:55 GMT -5
I was reading about her getting rid of multiples of the same tool and only keeping the one pink screwdriver she liked. Yeah the one screwdriver that "brings me joy" philosophy does not work in this house. I need multiples each version because one of the men in my life walks off with the other one and I have no idea which house it's in. It could be driving around in my dad's car for all I know. Not to mention various sizes because the giant flathead of doom is not going to work on the battery case for my daughter's Hatchimal. I've read the book and she admits in the book that her method isn't always practical. Like if you live in an area with different seasons or you need more than one type of tool. Me having one screwdriver of each kind would be less clutter but having multiples of them saves me time and money. I consider it worth the trade off. Actually, having only pink-handled tools is an excellent way of keeping men from relocating them. A lot of guys would prefer to go to the hardware store and buy a tool rather than borrow a pink one. They also seem to be really good at returning the pink tools that they find a way to use without anyone seeing them do it. If the men you are dealing with are sexist sure. A screwdriver is a screwdriver to the ones in my life. They all take field trips. Fortunately I live right across the street so if I think my screwdriver went for a visit I can let myself in and take it back.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 24, 2022 17:08:58 GMT -5
My brother did get a great deal on ebay for a snap on screw driver with changeable bits for me. It was lower priced because it had a hot pink handle.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 24, 2022 17:25:28 GMT -5
A lot of those pink handled tools are shitty quality, but it depends on what you really need it for.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2022 17:27:13 GMT -5
One day I was at the local framing shop and saw an amazing shadow box they did with a beautiful china plate in the middle, surrounded by photos of a family dining off those plates over the years. They said a woman wanted to hold onto the memories without holding onto the entire set of china because she was downsizing. I thought it was really cool.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2022 20:14:33 GMT -5
One day I was at the local framing shop and saw an amazing shadow box they did with a beautiful china plate in the middle, surrounded by photos of a family dining off those plates over the years. They said a woman wanted to hold onto the memories without holding onto the entire set of china because she was downsizing. I thought it was really cool. I want to do something like this with my parents' stuff. I have not figured out what yet, but I will and then things can be gone.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 25, 2022 13:07:21 GMT -5
We had to get rid of a lot of stuff when we moved here from NY. Then, we had to purge more as we put things away and really looked at everything that had come with us. (we had movers pack most of our house.) After the dust settled and we caught our breath, I went through all the boxes that we had just stacked in one room because we knew it was stuff we wouldn't need. A couple of those things were kept, but most of them went to a garage sale. I'm good with getting rid of stuff, DH is not. We purged the kitchen when we remodeled it a couple years ago. All our pots and pans went as they were all in not bad, but not really good shape. We still had a lot of his/mine stuff in the kitchen, so there were a lot of duplicates. We winnowed all those down, got new pots and pans we both liked, and everything else was given away.
I'm still trying to convince DH to clean out our closet. He has at least three boxes of T-shirts in there. Since they are in boxes, he's not wearing them, so he can't miss them if they're gone. There's no space to fit any more into his drawers. If it were up to me, I'd just donate them all right now. I have two bags of clothes I need to take for donation and a bag of books. There are a couple of book shelves I still need to go through to finish clearing them out. We have four six foot book shelves in the house. Two are mine and two belong to DH. Mine is fairly full of books, but I also have some craft stuff on the shelves that will be put into the hobby hole when it's done. DH is filling his up quickly as he's found a couple of new authors he really likes. Keeping our book count down is a struggle.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 28, 2022 11:05:59 GMT -5
I'm terrified of going through my parents things because dsis and I deal with stuff so differently. Hopefully we have a couple decades before we have to think about it. My parents still have a lot of stuff at my house. 2 storage rooms inside and 1/3rd of the garage. I won't throw out their stuff. They gave us a great discount on the house and storing stuff is the least we can do repayment wise. But I won't be in slow and steady mode. I'll be ready for a dumpster and I think it will strain dsis and I to find middle ground. why is that rae? If she wants to keep something and you don't then she just takes it away with her? Does she live with you? or would she want to store it at your place indefinitely? I don't understand how her taking possesssion of it would cause a strain, unless something in the above.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 28, 2022 11:08:12 GMT -5
I think the Konmari method has limited applications. It's possibly useful if you have too many things in a category. I just don't find it useful. As an adult living in a house in a 4 season climate, certain things are necessary. I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix. They act like that can be applied to everything and I just don't think that's true. I can choose to keep the ones I like best if I have an overflow, but snow boots, work clothes, etc do not spark joy in me. I think it's important to find what works best for you. It's personal and I don't think there's a right or wrong approach if it gets you to your goal. I read a little on the blog, it didn’t keep my interest. I got the book and what a waste of money. It was written as a teenager(?) cleaning her room, I really am mistified at the popularity of it.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 28, 2022 11:22:13 GMT -5
I'm terrified of going through my parents things because dsis and I deal with stuff so differently. Hopefully we have a couple decades before we have to think about it. My parents still have a lot of stuff at my house. 2 storage rooms inside and 1/3rd of the garage. I won't throw out their stuff. They gave us a great discount on the house and storing stuff is the least we can do repayment wise. But I won't be in slow and steady mode. I'll be ready for a dumpster and I think it will strain dsis and I to find middle ground. why is that rae? If she wants to keep something and you don't then she just takes it away with her? Does she live with you? or would she want to store it at your place indefinitely? I don't understand how her taking possesssion of it would cause a strain, unless something in the above. She'll want to go through things slowly and she'll want to keep more than she has room for (she doesnt have room for anything at this point). I'm storing a couple items for her now that she really wants but doesn't have room for. She said I can get rid of them, but I feel like a jerk doing that.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 28, 2022 11:49:43 GMT -5
why is that rae? If she wants to keep something and you don't then she just takes it away with her? Does she live with you? or would she want to store it at your place indefinitely? I don't understand how her taking possesssion of it would cause a strain, unless something in the above. She'll want to go through things slowly and she'll want to keep more than she has room for (she doesnt have room for anything at this point). I'm storing a couple items for her now that she really wants but doesn't have room for. She said I can get rid of them, but I feel like a jerk doing that. I'd give her advance warning then, while your parents are not in any health crisis! It might be overwhelming for her to process while grieving, hence some strain on the relationship would occur. If you spell it out for her - giving her years to plan how she will manage it - it could help.
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