Things Not To Insert Into Yourself- Part 2,743

[Tennesseer]

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum, police say

Bomb disposal experts were called to a hospital in Gloucester, England after a man told doctors that there was a World War II anti-tank shell lodged inside of him, authorities said.

The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team (EOD) arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Wednesday morning after hearing that "a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum," a spokesperson for Gloucestershire Constabulary told Insider.

The item had already been removed by doctors by the time the bomb squad arrived, the spokesperson added, and the EOD confirmed that the shell was "not live" and "therefore not a danger to the public."

The Sun was first to report that the unnamed patient told doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he "slipped and fell" on the two-inch-wide artillery shell.

The media outlet reported that the shell was part of his military memorabilia collection.

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum, police say

[pulmonarymd]

Just when you think you have seen everything. Slipped and fell, I like it.

We all joke that the stories typically go: I was minding my own business when 2 dudes .... Everything that follows is generally a lie.

[Opti]

I'm glad it wasn't live. 

[haapai]

I'd like to know what the first thing the doc grabbed for was -- a tetanus shot, a muscle relaxant, or a bottle of lube.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

This confirms my theory that men devote large amounts of brain space determining if random objects fit up their buttons and then trying to prove it.

[swamp]

Rule #2746: no in through the out door.

[haapai]

Everyone's curious about what might fit in their bottoms.  The problem is that many of us seem to forget what we know about physics and vacuums while we are satisfying that curiosity. 

I'm old enough, and anonymous enough, to state that I am very glad to be a girl in this regard.  It's probably a lot easier to retrieve lost stuff from that chute than the other.  I'm not sure that men are dumber, or more curious.  

[dondub]

My BIL is a surgeon and tells the story of a man with a vibrator too far ‘up’. He probed the lower torso area and then put pressure on the object. A lime green tool popped out and landed on the ER floor. Case closed!😳

[busymom]

I used to do ER charts.  You don't even want to know what people will attempt to put there.  That counts as college education on things I DIDN'T want to know...  

[NancysSummerSip]

Dec 4, 2021 14:08:36 GMT -5 busymom said:

I used to do ER charts.  You don't even want to know what people will attempt to put there.  That counts as college education on things I DIDN'T want to know...  

Oh, but actually, we do want to know...maybe?

[Deleted]

Dec 4, 2021 12:53:14 GMT -5 haapai said:

Everyone's curious about what might fit in their bottoms.  The problem is that many of us seem to forget what we know about physics and vacuums while we are satisfying that curiosity. 

I'm old enough, and anonymous enough, to state that I am very glad to be a girl in this regard.  It's probably a lot easier to retrieve lost stuff from that chute than the other.  I'm not sure that men are dumber, or more curious.  

Uhhhhhh……. No, not everyone is.

And I’m saying this while under the influence……. Like when a drunken mind often speaks a sober truth.

My drunken mind and my sober truth both disagree with your first statement.

[pulmonarymd]

Dec 4, 2021 18:48:03 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Dec 4, 2021 14:08:36 GMT -5 busymom said:

I used to do ER charts.  You don't even want to know what people will attempt to put there.  That counts as college education on things I DIDN'T want to know...  

Oh, but actually, we do want to know...maybe?

Never in your wildest imagination can you guess what people can do. Can anyone say gerbil?

[skeeter]

Dec 4, 2021 20:39:15 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Dec 4, 2021 18:48:03 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Oh, but actually, we do want to know...maybe?

Never in your wildest imagination can you guess what people can do. Can anyone say gerbil?

OMG !!

[Opti]

Dec 4, 2021 20:39:15 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Dec 4, 2021 18:48:03 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Oh, but actually, we do want to know...maybe?

Never in your wildest imagination can you guess what people can do. Can anyone say gerbil?

Sadly aware of this idea. 

[Opti]

Dec 4, 2021 20:35:08 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Dec 4, 2021 12:53:14 GMT -5 haapai said:

Everyone's curious about what might fit in their bottoms.  The problem is that many of us seem to forget what we know about physics and vacuums while we are satisfying that curiosity. 

I'm old enough, and anonymous enough, to state that I am very glad to be a girl in this regard.  It's probably a lot easier to retrieve lost stuff from that chute than the other.  I'm not sure that men are dumber, or more curious.  

Uhhhhhh……. No, not everyone is.

And I’m saying this while under the influence……. Like when a drunken mind often speaks a sober truth.

My drunken mind and my sober truth both disagree with your first statement.

I have a strong desire to not be one of those hospital admissions. Not curious.

[pulmonarymd]

If you are you give us a good story to tell for many years!

[tallguy]

The last line was...informative as well....

The British newspaper Metro reported that procedures to remove objects from patients' rectums cost the National Health Service (NHS) around £340,000 ($450,000) a year.

[laterbloomer]

Dec 4, 2021 12:53:14 GMT -5 haapai said:

Everyone's curious about what might fit in their bottoms.  The problem is that many of us seem to forget what we know about physics and vacuums while we are satisfying that curiosity. 

I'm old enough, and anonymous enough, to state that I am very glad to be a girl in this regard.  It's probably a lot easier to retrieve lost stuff from that chute than the other.  I'm not sure that men are dumber, or more curious.  

On every level imaginable, for a whole host of reasons....NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!

[Tennesseer]

SNOPES:  Richard Gere and the Gerbil
Hoary urban legend reports a celebrity was taken to a hospital emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his rectum.

Claim
Richard Gere was taken to a hospital emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his rectum.

Rating
False

Richard Gere and the Gerbil

[busymom]

Dec 4, 2021 20:39:15 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

Dec 4, 2021 18:48:03 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Oh, but actually, we do want to know...maybe?

Never in your wildest imagination can you guess what people can do. Can anyone say gerbil?

      Sad, but true.  And, it was alive when it went in.  

[Lizard Queen]

Humans are some dumbass animals.