cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 8, 2021 12:08:58 GMT -5
My net worth reached two million. It won't last since I have plans to gift a bunch but for today I am a multimillionaire.
So why am I still cheap? I spent $24 dollars out for dinner for Mexican food this week, I could afford to dine out any where everyday yet worry about prices and spending the extra for guacamole and sour cream. Food lasted two days so I could eat all meals out if I wanted. How do I stop being so darn cheap?
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Nov 8, 2021 13:19:39 GMT -5
First, congratulations on your achievement !
Transitioning from the accumulation phase of your life to the spending phase is surprisingly challenging. I suspect that some of your frugal ways will always be with you. After all, it is the fact that you have been careful with your finances that made you a multimillionaire in the first place. Learned or innate, careful money management is a part of who you are.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2021 13:38:35 GMT -5
As long as you're enjoying life, don't worry about it. I hit "multi" status awhile ago. Today I realized how silly it was that I made sure to use my Costco credit card to buy gas for the lawn mower since I get 4% back on gas from that card and only 2% from the Fidelity card. On $2 worth of gas.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Nov 8, 2021 13:54:31 GMT -5
I can sympathize. I am sitting here in a 68 degree house with a quilt in my lap because I don't want to pay more for heat.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 8, 2021 13:59:12 GMT -5
Crone - does it help if you do a rough budget of what you'll allow yourself to spend per week/month/year? Whatever timeframe works for you. Then leave that amount easily accessible and then lighten up. This might give you a natural boundary.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Nov 8, 2021 14:13:26 GMT -5
As long as you're enjoying life, don't worry about it. I hit "multi" status awhile ago. Today I realized how silly it was that I made sure to use my Costco credit card to buy gas for the lawn mower since I get 4% back on gas from that card and only 2% from the Fidelity card. On $2 worth of gas. It's not silly. It's how you stay at that level without working to stay at that level. Yes, that is exactly what I struggle ( ) with. I am still learning how to spend more money, but I will never get away from wanting to get value in return for what I spend. Drives my GF nuts, but I make the point that not spending on things I don't want to spend on leaves more to spend on things I do want to spend on. Finding the proper mix within the context of a relationship is sometimes the tough part.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 8, 2021 17:23:18 GMT -5
Crone - does it help if you do a rough budget of what you'll allow yourself to spend per week/month/year? Whatever timeframe works for you. Then leave that amount easily accessible and then lighten up. This might give you a natural boundary. That is the opposite of how I saved the money, I put away everything where I seemed broke while saving half my income. But I just can't seem to waste money. I just got back from grocery shopping and still check price per ounce and decide which to get based on price and how much I want it. I put back pancake mix that was over $7 because between the 13th and 24th spend a hundred and get a free turkey so I won't have pancakes for a few days, diet anyhow. So planning what to get to spend $100. This time I spent 35 and last time 21 so spending $100 is a major stock up, I overshoot it since it is hard to be sure to spend enough. Pancake mix, soda, frozen veggies, canned goods, meat and baked chicken from the deli so spend 99 cents a pound on a turkey or get a free one spending $100. The thing is I keep thousands in my spending account and more thousands in my bill paying account then about another 40K in the estate account so I could spend 50K without touching investments.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Nov 8, 2021 17:25:44 GMT -5
Congratulations!
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myrrh
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Post by myrrh on Nov 8, 2021 18:17:46 GMT -5
Cronewitch, congratulations! I've been following your financial progress since the old MSN message board days and am hopeful that one day I'll be in your shoes.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Nov 8, 2021 18:17:48 GMT -5
There's a difference between not wanting to waste money and being cheap. Maybe that's the place to start? Not wasting money to me is things like with my kids: "yes mom, I'll wear/eat/use/do this." and they either never/do/eat/wear the thing, or they do it once.. My inlaws won't let my kids drink certain bottled water because the kids take two sips and they are done. I'm squarely in grandma's corner, there, because that is a waste. Being cheap: My mom. I'm pretty sure she's going to live in a 60 degree house this winter because she's afraid of how much utilities are going up. She's content sleeping in a house that gets down to 50 or 55. (Well, I guess not really. She'll complain about how cold it is, but she won't turn the heat up because she's cheap) Or, she won't let me replace a lightbulb in a bathroom because I might break the fixture. Nor will she hire out someone replacing the lightbulb. So, she has no light in the bathroom. Which is probably not the safest thing in the world for an elderly person.
Other examples of being cheap: putting off repairs due to the house settling (had they fixed things 10 years ago, it would have been much better). Deciding that I owed mom money for the "gifts" she gave me 20-25 years ago so that she could pay bills.
My mom is not a multimillionaire or even a millionaire. However, she could choose to set 2K on fire every month, if that's what she wanted to do. And she has enough in savings/investments that she'll have a nice middle class standard of living until the end for her.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 8, 2021 18:34:16 GMT -5
Crone - does it help if you do a rough budget of what you'll allow yourself to spend per week/month/year? Whatever timeframe works for you. Then leave that amount easily accessible and then lighten up. This might give you a natural boundary. That is the opposite of how I saved the money, I put away everything where I seemed broke while saving half my income. But I just can't seem to waste money. I just got back from grocery shopping and still check price per ounce and decide which to get based on price and how much I want it. I put back pancake mix that was over $7 because between the 13th and 24th spend a hundred and get a free turkey so I won't have pancakes for a few days, diet anyhow. So planning what to get to spend $100. This time I spent 35 and last time 21 so spending $100 is a major stock up, I overshoot it since it is hard to be sure to spend enough. Pancake mix, soda, frozen veggies, canned goods, meat and baked chicken from the deli so spend 99 cents a pound on a turkey or get a free one spending $100. The thing is I keep thousands in my spending account and more thousands in my bill paying account then about another 40K in the estate account so I could spend 50K without touching investments. Yeah you are at the point where you shouldn't be frugal about food. Eat mostly healthy of course bc that has its own return. Work towards the free turkey deal if that makes you happy. As a singleton, maybe that means you buy extra that week to donate to food drive which is easiest to do during holidays when the donation basket is right there. Pay for convenience, hire out things you don't like to do, and also those that aren't super safe for your age bc we want you to stick around a good long while.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2021 18:39:49 GMT -5
I am still learning how to spend more money, but I will never get away from wanting to get value in return for what I spend. Drives my GF nuts, but I make the point that not spending on things I don't want to spend on leaves more to spend on things I do want to spend on. Finding the proper mix within the context of a relationship is sometimes the tough part. I agree. "Waste" is subjective- I don't want a car any fancier than my Honda Civic but I'll fly Business Class on long flights. I know there are others whose spending is exactly the opposite. To me, it's a question of "will I enjoy/use this item or service that's costing me money?" I have no cable programming and only one streaming service- I have a ton of stuff I haven't watched yet on Netflix so why do I need Amazon Prime or Apple TV? No Sirius subscription- just an mp3 player loaded with my favorite music. If I buy a mega-pack of something will I use it all before it goes bad? I rarely throw out food- I make sure to use it or freeze it before it goes bad. You get the idea. And I have my eye on this bracelet for my next birthday.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Nov 8, 2021 19:48:39 GMT -5
Beautiful. .......... I don't wear bracelets but this would catch my eye for admiration
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Nov 8, 2021 20:08:21 GMT -5
Well done, Crone!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 8, 2021 21:04:09 GMT -5
Crone, you have done such an awesome job investing for your retirement. I really do think that some of us have a personality that makes it hard to start spending.
I can tell you that I have an issue spending. I know what it’s like to wake up to a house that is 50 degrees and my mom had no money for oil. I have a deep money insecurity. I’m not greedy but my fear of running out of mo he is real and hard to overcome. My husband swears that we could have a $100millikn in the bank and I would still worry!
Try to enjoy what you have. That doesn’t mean suddenly buying a ton of crap. Use your money to make your life happy.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Nov 8, 2021 21:28:09 GMT -5
Congrats, crone!!
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 8, 2021 22:40:18 GMT -5
I have been able to waste large amounts of money just not the small amounts. Two years ago I bought a 5th wheel knowing we were getting too old to go camping much longer. We used it once October 2019 then March 2020 they closed the beach and the campground so one and a half trips to the beach. It sat until he died so paid 28K sold for 24K for about 5 nights, not sorry. I give away money so far over 650K since retirement. In the next 3 months I will give away about 130K. Yet today I checked the crackers to get the best deal. I do eat healthy so bought all the salad stuff and fruit and only put back pancake mix and skipped ice cream and cookies brought my own bags to save 8 cents a bag.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 9, 2021 8:39:01 GMT -5
Let me try to gently reframe your thinking - the camper wasn't a waste at all. Not even one bit as you created precious memories. And if I'm reading your post correctly pre-coffee, you were able to sell it for most of what you paid. I admire you for being so charitable. 650k is quite amazing and we could all learn from you. Hope to see you around here more often so you can continue to mentor me and others.
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gacpa
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Post by gacpa on Nov 9, 2021 8:59:51 GMT -5
I cannot like azucena's post enough! She is spot on!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 9, 2021 10:47:20 GMT -5
I have been able to waste large amounts of money just not the small amounts. Two years ago I bought a 5th wheel knowing we were getting too old to go camping much longer. We used it once October 2019 then March 2020 they closed the beach and the campground so one and a half trips to the beach. It sat until he died so paid 28K sold for 24K for about 5 nights, not sorry. I give away money so far over 650K since retirement. In the next 3 months I will give away about 130K. Yet today I checked the crackers to get the best deal. I do eat healthy so bought all the salad stuff and fruit and only put back pancake mix and skipped ice cream and cookies brought my own bags to save 8 cents a bag. I bow to your charitable giving. You are an amazing person I’m going to tell you that I am the same way and I don’t know that I can change it. How do you change who you are? I will blow $10k on a vacation (memories and family time mean the world to me), but will make sure I go to the gas station where gas is 5 cents cheaper a gallon. I will stock up when things are BOGO instead of paying full price, even though I will save $3. I’m not cheap but I am very frugal. Cheap to me means sponging from others and I definitely do not do that. But I concern myself way too much over amounts of money that really should mean nothing to me I think we both should make this a goal for 2022!
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Nov 9, 2021 11:34:06 GMT -5
Congratulations Crone!
I hope someday I get to where I can give away large chunks of money. I think I'd be more likely to do that then spend extravagantly on myself as well. It would be pretty cool to be one of those people at our school's fundraisers that can just take out their checkbook and cover the entire amount they're hoping to cover, or do something like pay for a kid's college (other than my own that is!)
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on Nov 9, 2021 13:04:44 GMT -5
It's never a bad idea to avoid being wasteful with your money. Bring your own bag to the grocery store and save 8¢. You also aren't contributing to plastic waste in our environment, so it's really more than the 8¢. But it's also ingrained in you to not waste money. I'm finding myself spending more in retirement just to avoid being annoyed. And it's surprising how easily annoyed I can be. When it came time to fly home from Seattle, I thought about sitting in First Class vs sitting in Coach. Sitting in Coach is annoying. I can easily afford First Class. Problem solved, annoyance avoided. Two years ago I debated between hiring a snow removal service for the winter vs buying a good snowblower. Having to clear the snow myself is annoying, but being in control over when and how the snow is cleared more than offsets the annoyance of a snow removal service which might not clear the snow to my standards. I bought a snowblower.
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pooks
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Post by pooks on Nov 9, 2021 16:27:21 GMT -5
Congrats Cronewitch, what you have accomplished is really amazing!
DH and I have this struggle. He is frugal and I am not. He looks at the price of everything and will put things he wants back because they are too expensive. He is really having trouble adjusting to inflation. I can't imagine what he is going to be like in a couple of years or when we next go car shopping. I do most of the shopping, so whenever he sees the price of an individual item, he complains.
I however am always willing to spend more to get exactly what I want. Life is too short.
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minnesotapaintlady
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Nov 9, 2021 16:59:04 GMT -5
I however am always willing to spend more to get exactly what I want. Life is too short. I'm kind of "it depends" on that. Someone making 6 figures spending time trying to save 10 cents on pasta probably falls in the "life is too short" category, but I'm around a lot of people making $15/hour with the "Life is too short" attitude as well...with cars, and houses and oh hey...might as well get exactly the cat you want even if it's 3K. (yes, just had this conversation this morning)
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Nov 9, 2021 20:43:27 GMT -5
Congrats chrone!
Sometimes I have a hard time too. Keep pushing to do buy what brings you pleasure, but be frugal where you don’t care about it.
Habits are hard to break. Good and bad. Loosen up at least sometimes for yourself, just like you are generous with other people.
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on Nov 12, 2021 17:25:24 GMT -5
I thought of this thread when I was shopping this afternoon. On a whim, I stopped at the local very expensive jewelry store. Lots of diamonds and gems. Out of curiosity, I asked what a pair of emerald stud earrings would cost. $12,000. My goodness! And yes, I could afford them. But I just can't fathom spending that kind of money on earrings when I can spend less than $500 for ones I would like just as well. Who the hell spends $12,000 on a pair of emerald stud earrings
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Nov 13, 2021 16:23:56 GMT -5
I thought of this thread when I was shopping this afternoon. On a whim, I stopped at the local very expensive jewelry store. Lots of diamonds and gems. Out of curiosity, I asked what a pair of emerald stud earrings would cost. $12,000. My goodness! And yes, I could afford them. But I just can't fathom spending that kind of money on earrings when I can spend less than $500 for ones I would like just as well. Who the hell spends $12,000 on a pair of emerald stud earrings
Where in MN would one wear $12,000 earrings? Wouldn’t they clash with your flannel? And wouldn’t their flashing in the rising sun warn off the ducks?
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on Nov 13, 2021 20:02:25 GMT -5
I thought of this thread when I was shopping this afternoon. On a whim, I stopped at the local very expensive jewelry store. Lots of diamonds and gems. Out of curiosity, I asked what a pair of emerald stud earrings would cost. $12,000. My goodness! And yes, I could afford them. But I just can't fathom spending that kind of money on earrings when I can spend less than $500 for ones I would like just as well. Who the hell spends $12,000 on a pair of emerald stud earrings
Where in MN would one wear $12,000 earrings?
Ice fishing, of course. Wouldn’t they clash with your flannel? Which is why we wear plaid flannel. Lots of colors available.
And wouldn’t their flashing in the rising sun warn off the ducks?
You don't wear your good earrings when duck hunting. The flaps on your fur hats cover your ears. No one sees your earrings. You wear your good earrings in your ice house while ice fishing and drinking beer.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Nov 13, 2021 22:58:59 GMT -5
Where in MN would one wear $12,000 earrings?
Ice fishing, of course. Wouldn’t they clash with your flannel? Which is why we wear plaid flannel. Lots of colors available.
And wouldn’t their flashing in the rising sun warn off the ducks?
You don't wear your good earrings when duck hunting. The flaps on your fur hats cover your ears. No one sees your earrings. You wear your good earrings in your ice house while ice fishing and drinking beer.
Hmmm - makes sense. Emeralds would be stunning on the ice and against a Minnesotan’s winter pallor, while diamonds would simply disappear into the background.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Nov 21, 2021 14:32:13 GMT -5
I thought of this thread when I was shopping this afternoon. On a whim, I stopped at the local very expensive jewelry store. Lots of diamonds and gems. Out of curiosity, I asked what a pair of emerald stud earrings would cost. $12,000. My goodness! And yes, I could afford them. But I just can't fathom spending that kind of money on earrings when I can spend less than $500 for ones I would like just as well. Who the hell spends $12,000 on a pair of emerald stud earrings
I wonder the same thing about watches. I realize I am not a watch person but why the heck anyone would spend over $10K on a watch is beyond me, but there are several of my board members that do. I know they make lots of money but seems like there would be better uses for it. It's all relative, I guess. I don't really fault them since they have the money to do it, but if I'm going to spend $10K it's going to be on a nice trip of some sort. To each their own.
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