tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,107
|
Post by tallguy on Mar 7, 2021 21:07:35 GMT -5
Bill is right. Getting someone removed from the deed should be a fairly simple matter as long as they are cooperative. Getting them removed from the mortgage is not and will likely require a full refinance. I tried to do a streamlined refinance that I was offered. One representative told me I could have my ex removed that way, but when it ultimately finished the lender would not do it that way. In a streamlined refinance they would not allow such changes in the terms. I went back and forth with them, ultimately getting angry enough to just write a big check and pay off the balance when I could a couple years later. That got the ex off the mortgage. I would not, by the way, allow my name to be taken off the deed if I were still on the mortgage as the OP's ex appears to be. My ex was not on the deed at all. I don't know why her attorney did not insert language requiring me to refinance, but she was not in reality in danger from it and it almost certainly helped her credit score.... You saying removing one from mortgage is easy as long as they are cooperative.My understanding was - he signed and agreed for me to keep the house so he is free of mortgage payments - so that’s that! I was thinking nobody (court) will assume I just like to pay mortgage... Now you maki g me think... Your spouse wasn’t even ON a deed...here we talking completely different case scenario or not? Well...tomorrow I’ll be talking to lawyers. I don’t have an issue with an ex because we both know house is off charts - it’s child’s inheritance and we both agree to it. Divorce was my fault but I am not marrying again. He got married and I wouldn’t even think about all this BUT his new wife is strange. Much younger and if he died - she would be my problem, right? I am mostly worry about what will happen IF he died. While he is alive - we are ok. He will never go against me AND his child. Thanks to all of you. I’ll see what lawyer says... swamp Do I have to trust any lawyer? How do I know who is to trust? Thanks No, it's the other way around. Getting him off of the mortgage is difficult and will likely require a full refinance. The bank does not care what your divorce agreement says. They will protect their own interests. If they have two people on the mortgage that is two people they can go after for the money. If you are responsible for the payments per your divorce agreement, and don't make them, the bank can and will still go after your ex if he is still on the mortgage. It would also trash both of your credit ratings, not just yours. Even if you make all of the payments it will still impact his ability to get credit on his own. If he has remarried those things will also affect his new wife. If I were her I would be livid if he were still on the mortgage and didn't tell me.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,295
|
Post by swamp on Mar 7, 2021 21:51:02 GMT -5
Bill is right. Getting someone removed from the deed should be a fairly simple matter as long as they are cooperative. Getting them removed from the mortgage is not and will likely require a full refinance. I tried to do a streamlined refinance that I was offered. One representative told me I could have my ex removed that way, but when it ultimately finished the lender would not do it that way. In a streamlined refinance they would not allow such changes in the terms. I went back and forth with them, ultimately getting angry enough to just write a big check and pay off the balance when I could a couple years later. That got the ex off the mortgage. I would not, by the way, allow my name to be taken off the deed if I were still on the mortgage as the OP's ex appears to be. My ex was not on the deed at all. I don't know why her attorney did not insert language requiring me to refinance, but she was not in reality in danger from it and it almost certainly helped her credit score.... You saying removing one from mortgage is easy as long as they are cooperative. My understanding was - he signed and agreed for me to keep the house so he is free of mortgage payments - so that’s that! I was thinking nobody (court) will assume I just like to pay mortgage... Now you maki g me think... Your spouse wasn’t even ON a deed...here we talking completely different case scenario or not? Well...tomorrow I’ll be talking to lawyers. I don’t have an issue with an ex because we both know house is off charts - it’s child’s inheritance and we both agree to it. Divorce was my fault but I am not marrying again. He got married and I wouldn’t even think about all this BUT his new wife is strange. Much younger and if he died - she would be my problem, right? I am mostly worry about what will happen IF he died. While he is alive - we are ok. He will never go against me AND his child. Thanks to all of you. I’ll see what lawyer says... swamp Do I have to trust any lawyer? How do I know who is to trust? Thanks Ask friends.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 21:51:13 GMT -5
You saying removing one from mortgage is easy as long as they are cooperative.My understanding was - he signed and agreed for me to keep the house so he is free of mortgage payments - so that’s that! I was thinking nobody (court) will assume I just like to pay mortgage... Now you maki g me think... Your spouse wasn’t even ON a deed...here we talking completely different case scenario or not? Well...tomorrow I’ll be talking to lawyers. I don’t have an issue with an ex because we both know house is off charts - it’s child’s inheritance and we both agree to it. Divorce was my fault but I am not marrying again. He got married and I wouldn’t even think about all this BUT his new wife is strange. Much younger and if he died - she would be my problem, right? I am mostly worry about what will happen IF he died. While he is alive - we are ok. He will never go against me AND his child. Thanks to all of you. I’ll see what lawyer says... swamp Do I have to trust any lawyer? How do I know who is to trust? Thanks No, it's the other way around. Getting him off of the mortgage is difficult and will likely require a full refinance. The bank does not care what your divorce agreement says. They will protect their own interests. If they have two people on the mortgage that is two people they can go after for the money. If you are responsible for the payments per your divorce agreement, and don't make them, the bank can and will still go after your ex if he is still on the mortgage. It would also trash both of your credit ratings, not just yours. Even if you make all of the payments it will still impact his ability to get credit on his own. If he has remarried those things will also affect his new wife. If I were her I would be livid if he were still on the mortgage and didn't tell me. She was in need of papers to stay in US. She had been so lucky to give him her youth in exchange for papers because it cost around $25K nowadays I’ve heard... So the story is that as I understand...if I trust him to be a good father and not to do anything stupid - I live in the house. I pay mortgage. It’s paid - we gifting it to our child OR whatever small amount left to pay - she can. Her and her bf are well paid professionals. The real concern for me here isn’t ex. His new wife is shaping up and bringing her kids over soon. If ex dies - is she going to be entitled to any portion of our house? I guess I am entering a new territory here. For me to save house for our child - maybe I need to refinance it into her name? OMG! It’s so complicated now. And I am just speculating but I know what people are capable of...thanks again
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 21:55:02 GMT -5
You saying removing one from mortgage is easy as long as they are cooperative. My understanding was - he signed and agreed for me to keep the house so he is free of mortgage payments - so that’s that! I was thinking nobody (court) will assume I just like to pay mortgage... Now you maki g me think... Your spouse wasn’t even ON a deed...here we talking completely different case scenario or not? Well...tomorrow I’ll be talking to lawyers. I don’t have an issue with an ex because we both know house is off charts - it’s child’s inheritance and we both agree to it. Divorce was my fault but I am not marrying again. He got married and I wouldn’t even think about all this BUT his new wife is strange. Much younger and if he died - she would be my problem, right? I am mostly worry about what will happen IF he died. While he is alive - we are ok. He will never go against me AND his child. Thanks to all of you. I’ll see what lawyer says... swamp Do I have to trust any lawyer? How do I know who is to trust? Thanks Ask friends. I said already I don’t know anybody with such issues. My friends are all married forever. You have strange advice for a lawyer. Have I hurt you by asking if I can trust a lawyer? I apologize for that if I misspoke.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 21:57:40 GMT -5
One more thing. Ex is 65. I am 54. He is on SS. Will bank want his SS for refinancing?
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,823
|
Post by taz157 on Mar 7, 2021 22:00:45 GMT -5
One more thing. Ex is 65. I am 54. He is on SS. Will bank want his SS for refinancing? For refinancing, it would be solely your income and nothing of his as you are getting him off the mortgage.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,823
|
Post by taz157 on Mar 7, 2021 22:01:42 GMT -5
I said already I don’t know anybody with such issues. My friends are all married forever. You have strange advice for a lawyer. Have I hurt you by asking if I can trust a lawyer? I apologize for that if I misspoke. Do you have any co-workers who have gotten divorced and could recommend someone? Do you have a CPA who prepares your taxes? If so, they maybe able to recommend someone.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 22:04:08 GMT -5
One more thing. Ex is 65. I am 54. He is on SS. Will bank want his SS for refinancing? For refinancing, it would be solely your income and nothing of his as you are getting him off the mortgage. At the moment I am receiving a mighty Unemployment and having tenants who are paying most of the mortgage and my BF is supporting my other expenses. I can’t present any of that to the bank.
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,107
|
Post by tallguy on Mar 7, 2021 22:08:09 GMT -5
The best way to handle this is to refinance into your own name to get him off of the mortgage, and at the same time he quitclaims his interest so is off of the deed. That will clean up the situation so that you are the only one on both. The bank will not use his income for the refi because he should refuse to go along with it. You need to be able to qualify for the refi on your own or else it won't get done. If you cannot qualify for the refi, your ex should refuse to be removed from the deed until you can. He has his own interests to protect, and being on the hook for a mortgage on a property he has no ownership interest in doesn't do that.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 22:10:39 GMT -5
I said already I don’t know anybody with such issues. My friends are all married forever. You have strange advice for a lawyer. Have I hurt you by asking if I can trust a lawyer? I apologize for that if I misspoke. Do you have any co-workers who have gotten divorced and could recommend someone? Do you have a CPA who prepares your taxes? If so, they maybe able to recommend someone. I am realizing reading all of your comments that I am probably better off to ‘sell’ the house to my child continuing to do as it goes paying remaining of the mortgage... I don’t have co-workers. I had been living a very private life with my BF and when I had a job it was not public. I am keeping away from people. It’s easier this way.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 7, 2021 22:18:37 GMT -5
The best way to handle this is to refinance into your own name to get him off of the mortgage, and at the same time he quitclaims his interest so is off of the deed. That will clean up the situation so that you are the only one on both. The bank will not use his income for the refi because he should refuse to go along with it. You need to be able to qualify for the refi on your own or else it won't get done. If you cannot qualify for the refi, your ex should refuse to be removed from the deed until you can. He has his own interests to protect, and being on the hook for a mortgage on a property he has no ownership interest in doesn't do that. I won’t be qualify for refinancing. I am probably going to have to wait. It’s a puzzle. I see more light now however it’s not in my favor. If I knew that his new wife wouldn’t be ‘smart’ if he dies - I wouldn’t be even thinking about all that. She is my main concern. Not him. We are in good standing because of our child. Thanks again for all the enlightening.
|
|
tractor
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 15:19:30 GMT -5
Posts: 3,450
|
Post by tractor on Mar 8, 2021 8:24:04 GMT -5
It sounds like there is way more to the story than you originally shared. That’s OK, but you situation when from simple to incredibly complex in just a couple of days. The quality of advice given can only be based on what you tell us (a bunch of random strangers on the internet).
Hopefully we have at least given you a few things to think about, but I have a feeling there are very rough roads ahead for you. All you can do is be as proactive as possible and try to stay on top of your situation the best you can.
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Mar 8, 2021 9:52:17 GMT -5
Even if the court says it, the court isn't going to enforce it until you bring it to them - ie get a lawyer and go to court. And once you do that I'm guessing a fairly easy to guess response is "I'm not agreeing to get off the deed until I get off the mortgage" and then since your divorce settlement doesn't appear to deal with equity I'd be worried about that too.
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 8, 2021 10:53:20 GMT -5
I had just re wives call from a company I had left message on Friday and they told me that his name can’t be removed by anybody but my lender because mortgage is in both names.
So all I can do is to call my lender and according to your advices it would probably lead to refi which is impossible at the moment.
However I appreciate all the info given and I’ll think about it later when times are better. Thank you all❤️
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 8, 2021 22:47:25 GMT -5
Spoke with lawyer today who told me it’s absolutely possible to take exes name off deed however he recommended for me to call lender and let them know I am doing so which apparently here in PA does not result refi and only serving as ‘just in case’ purpose. This lawyer is the one who is working for the City as well and very respected around. Just letting you guys know that apparently everything in real estate business very much depends on state property is in. 🤷♀️
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,107
|
Post by tallguy on Mar 9, 2021 0:47:05 GMT -5
I am not even sure what you are trying to say here. We have all said all along that you can take his name off of the deed as long as he is cooperative. The problem is getting his name off the MORTGAGE. At this point I am not even sure you understand the difference between the two things. If I were him, there is NO WAY that I would agree to taking my name off of the deed without it also being taken off of the mortgage. There is NO WAY that I would agree to be financially responsible for a property I didn't own. Unless your ex is a complete idiot, of course....
|
|
tiana
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 6, 2021 9:56:58 GMT -5
Posts: 107
|
Post by tiana on Mar 9, 2021 8:32:19 GMT -5
I am not even sure what you are trying to say here. We have all said all along that you can take his name off of the deed as long as he is cooperative. The problem is getting his name off the MORTGAGE. At this point I am not even sure you understand the difference between the two things. If I were him, there is NO WAY that I would agree to taking my name off of the deed without it also being taken off of the mortgage. There is NO WAY that I would agree to be financially responsible for a property I didn't own. Unless your ex is a complete idiot, of course.... I am feeling I am an idiot here. That’s why. I am not planning of having him being stuck with mortgage. And knowing me - he is t worry about that. He isn’t worry about anything because I had ran household by myself. So he knows if I said it - its the law. For ME taking him off the deed is only precaution against his new wife. Just in case he dies and she will have an idea that she has rights to the house. My tenant is dealing with it because his father who died had his first wife in deed and NOW my tenant has to find her kids and fork over some money for that property to them. I don’t need THAT! Other than that - nobody really worry about anything. I was told several times here about refi and this was the only thing that bothered me. If lender will say ok to take exes name off - then he is off and I’ll know that his wife isn’t a heir to MY house.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,594
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
Member is Online
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 9, 2021 9:13:38 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory
|
|
tractor
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 15:19:30 GMT -5
Posts: 3,450
|
Post by tractor on Mar 9, 2021 9:56:43 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory Yes, we had the exact same discussion with Tloony? about two years ago..,
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,386
|
Post by billisonboard on Mar 9, 2021 10:02:52 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory I had the same thought but decided it wasn't worth going there.
|
|
Knee Deep in Water Chloe
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 21:04:44 GMT -5
Posts: 13,708
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1980e6
|
Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Mar 9, 2021 10:06:52 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory I had the same thought but decided it wasn't worth going there. I just didn’t want to be the first to say it.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 26,962
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 9, 2021 11:17:34 GMT -5
It hit me yesterday
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,594
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
Member is Online
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 9, 2021 11:23:24 GMT -5
Do you pEEps know how many times I wrote that post when this first started and kept hitting the back button?
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,594
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
Member is Online
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 9, 2021 11:24:46 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory Yes, we had the exact same discussion with Tloony? about two years ago.., I wasn’t going to name names.
|
|
mary2029
Familiar Member
Joined: Oct 14, 2016 10:16:48 GMT -5
Posts: 759
|
Post by mary2029 on Mar 9, 2021 11:41:27 GMT -5
I am not even sure what you are trying to say here. We have all said all along that you can take his name off of the deed as long as he is cooperative. The problem is getting his name off the MORTGAGE. At this point I am not even sure you understand the difference between the two things. If I were him, there is NO WAY that I would agree to taking my name off of the deed without it also being taken off of the mortgage. There is NO WAY that I would agree to be financially responsible for a property I didn't own. Unless your ex is a complete idiot, of course.... I am feeling I am an idiot here. That’s why. I am not planning of having him being stuck with mortgage. And knowing me - he is t worry about that. He isn’t worry about anything because I had ran household by myself. So he knows if I said it - its the law. For ME taking him off the deed is only precaution against his new wife. Just in case he dies and she will have an idea that she has rights to the house. My tenant is dealing with it because his father who died had his first wife in deed and NOW my tenant has to find her kids and fork over some money for that property to them. I don’t need THAT! Other than that - nobody really worry about anything. I was told several times here about refi and this was the only thing that bothered me. If lender will say ok to take exes name off - then he is off and I’ll know that his wife isn’t a heir to MY house. A real-life example. In my divorce decree, each of us were supposed to take the other off our joint credit cards. We each trusted each other to do this and we "divided" them up between ourselves as to which ones we would keep. Both of us were financially responsible. A year down the road, he died. My name was still on the credit card that he was using. That credit card had a reoccurring charge to it, which of course could not be paid as his bank accounts were frozen. Since I wasn't the executor, it took a couple months before I was informed and could get this card cancelled. Since my name was linked to this account, my credit score got hit. At that time, I was getting ready to purchase my first home. My plans were delayed for a bit in part due to the change in score. Before his death - neither one of us really worried about anything either. Having him on the mortgage means that his credit score, his new wife's credit score and your credit score are linked and will be linked until the house is paid off.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,386
|
Post by billisonboard on Mar 9, 2021 12:01:02 GMT -5
I am not even sure what you are trying to say here. We have all said all along that you can take his name off of the deed as long as he is cooperative. The problem is getting his name off the MORTGAGE. At this point I am not even sure you understand the difference between the two things. If I were him, there is NO WAY that I would agree to taking my name off of the deed without it also being taken off of the mortgage. There is NO WAY that I would agree to be financially responsible for a property I didn't own. Unless your ex is a complete idiot, of course.... I am feeling I am an idiot here. That’s why. I am not planning of having him being stuck with mortgage. And knowing me - he is t worry about that. He isn’t worry about anything because I had ran household by myself. So he knows if I said it - its the law. For ME taking him off the deed is only precaution against his new wife. Just in case he dies and she will have an idea that she has rights to the house. My tenant is dealing with it because his father who died had his first wife in deed and NOW my tenant has to find her kids and fork over some money for that property to them. I don’t need THAT! Other than that - nobody really worry about anything. I was told several times here about refi and this was the only thing that bothered me. If lender will say ok to take exes name off - then he is off and I’ll know that his wife isn’t a heir to MY house. That little word has to be one of the most significant words in the English language.
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,107
|
Post by tallguy on Mar 9, 2021 12:28:18 GMT -5
I was told several times here about refi and this was the only thing that bothered me. If lender will say ok to take exes name off - then he is off and I’ll know that his wife isn’t a heir to MY house. That little word has to be one of the most significant words in the English language. Yeah, I would guess the bank's preferred response to that request (if they were allowed to be open about it) would be somewhere between, "Are you f***ing kidding?" and, "Not a chance in hell!" Both would be followed by uproarious laughter in her face and and much ridicule after she left. By the way, none of you would have been alone with your reaction even a couple days ago.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,386
|
Post by billisonboard on Mar 9, 2021 12:41:51 GMT -5
That little word has to be one of the most significant words in the English language. Yeah, I would guess the bank's preferred response to that request (if they were allowed to be open about it) would be somewhere between, "Are you f***ing kidding?" and, "Not a chance in hell!" Both would be followed by uproarious laughter in her face and and much ridicule after she left. By the way, none of you would have been alone with your reaction even a couple days ago. And I would guess their actual response would be something along the lines of, "We would be happy to help you with refinancing paperwork to see if you qualify."
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,107
|
Post by tallguy on Mar 9, 2021 12:56:08 GMT -5
Yeah, I would guess the bank's preferred response to that request (if they were allowed to be open about it) would be somewhere between, "Are you f***ing kidding?" and, "Not a chance in hell!" Both would be followed by uproarious laughter in her face and and much ridicule after she left. By the way, none of you would have been alone with your reaction even a couple days ago. And I would guess their actual response would be something along the lines of, "We would be happy to help you with refinancing paperwork to see if you qualify." One of the reasons I did not go into banking: You have to be polite to people.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,119
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 9, 2021 13:28:43 GMT -5
For some reason this sounds vaguely familiar or is it my old brain just remembering another poster from long long ago having a similar problem? I love being old - I can blame everything on old age and failing memory Yes, we had the exact same discussion with Tloony? about two years ago.., So did we ever find out if the sneaky old coot ever got his ex wife off everything and TLoony's mom inherited it all? Or are we talking about a different mortgage and house?
|
|