Question for parents

[Deleted]

I noticed a woman in my neighborhood used a family photo including 4 young children (3-6 years old) as her profile photo on Nextdoor.  Most of my friends are very guarded with photos of their kids and grandkids in the public domain because of pervs.  Thoughts?

[Tiny]

I don't think it's so much "perverts" as vengeful people you might piss off online (or in real life) like your family/friends OR people who have a "personal vendetta" against you - who then use the stuff you've shared online to hurt/strike back at you. I guess those people are a kind of "pervert".

There are a lot of people who walk this earth who feel any insult or slight against them should be answered with anger (or violence) and who aren't always capable of making the best decisions.  And sometimes these people are family or friends or people one must associate with (the peers you hang with or coworkers).

What kinds of people do you and your family associate with? You can secure your facebook (and probably other social medias you are on) to just your "friends" to share personal and family stuff with and how they can "share" those images.

[Deleted]

On Nextdoor, profile photos are public which means hundreds of folks can see it whenever you post.  Her post was to 26 neighborhoods with over 6000 homes.  

I have been told by law enforcement that sometimes child pornographers take photos in the public domain and photoshop them to create porn images so they don't recommend making photos of children public.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

My FB account, which is my only social media platform, is mainly for showing pictures of my kids to family.  But we don't tag the kids.  And when we do kid parties, I'll post pictures but not tag the kids.  I'm open with the parents that this is how I roll and they're mostly grateful that I don't tag.  I've had a couple of requests to tag someone's kids so their extended family can see them at the activity though.  We've done a few parties at the Ninja gym and parents want to show off those photos as it's a sort of unusual thing. 

My family will also post pictures of my kids but they don't usually tag them either.  I'm mainly concerned about pervs and bullying of my kids as they get into higher grades in school. 

[TheOtherMe]

I don't tag my photos either.  

On FB, profile and cover photos can be seen on a locked down account.  Since I learned that, I don't use photos on FB, Instagram or Twitter that contain people.

[steph08]

I use pictures of my kids on Facebook, but my profile isn't public and my 'friends' on there are all relatives or other people I know. 

I don't post kid pictures for any other platform. 

[Lizard Queen]

I don't even use my real name on nextdoor, and hate that they need your address.
I do have my whole family on my FB profile, but good luck using that pic for anything dubious. I'm not sure you could even recognize any of us easily from that pic. Maybe my DH, as he's looking more straight at the camera. The rest of us are at weird angles.

[thyme4change]

Aug 17, 2020 10:24:31 GMT -5 @donethat said:

I noticed a woman in my neighborhood used a family photo including 4 young children (3-6 years old) as her profile photo on Nextdoor.  Most of my friends are very guarded with photos of their kids and grandkids in the public domain because of pervs.  Thoughts?

Most pervs are friends or family.

Random pervs will be looking for children online that appear to be unsupervised. Not a picture of kids that you have to hunt down through their grandparents. Although, I wouldn't put a picture of young kids on a public profile that has my address or neighborhood along with a name or something.

I was told I was a horrible mother and this person "pities" my children because they have me as a Mom. I let them play outside and ride bikes when they were like 7. 10 years later- No randos.

[swamp]

Aug 17, 2020 13:09:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Aug 17, 2020 10:24:31 GMT -5 @donethat said:

I noticed a woman in my neighborhood used a family photo including 4 young children (3-6 years old) as her profile photo on Nextdoor.  Most of my friends are very guarded with photos of their kids and grandkids in the public domain because of pervs.  Thoughts?

Most pervs are friends or family.

Random pervs will be looking for children online that appear to be unsupervised. Not a picture of kids that you have to hunt down through their grandparents. Although, I wouldn't put a picture of young kids on a public profile that has my address or neighborhood along with a name or something.

I was told I was a horrible mother and this person "pities" my children because they have me as a Mom. I let them play outside and ride bikes when they were like 7. No randos.

.

If you want to see a picture of my kids riding on a tube behind a jetski, or eating ice cream, or something like that, knock yourself out.  

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2020 13:09:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Aug 17, 2020 10:24:31 GMT -5 @donethat said:

I noticed a woman in my neighborhood used a family photo including 4 young children (3-6 years old) as her profile photo on Nextdoor.  Most of my friends are very guarded with photos of their kids and grandkids in the public domain because of pervs.  Thoughts?

Most pervs are friends or family.

Random pervs will be looking for children online that appear to be unsupervised. Not a picture of kids that you have to hunt down through their grandparents. Although, I wouldn't put a picture of young kids on a public profile that has my address or neighborhood along with a name or something.

I was told I was a horrible mother and this person "pities" my children because they have me as a Mom. I let them play outside and ride bikes when they were like 7. No randos.

Her profile has her full legal name and street name.  It doesn't take a genius to find the address on the appraisal district website.   Oh well, her choice to make.

[Tiny]

Aug 17, 2020 10:50:34 GMT -5 @donethat said:

On Nextdoor, profile photos are public which means hundreds of folks can see it whenever you post.  Her post was to 26 neighborhoods with over 6000 homes.  

I have been told by law enforcement that sometimes child pornographers take photos in the public domain and photoshop them to create porn images so they don't recommend making photos of children public.  

Yes. I suppose that happens. I guess everyone needs to decide for themselves what makes for risky picture posting and what doesn't.

I guess there are probably some sex offenders in those 26 neighborhoods with 6000 homes. Who may have seen the pictures.

I guess someone who wants a picture of kids can just drive around, visit crowded public places with kids,  and take general pictures too. Every phone has an incredible camera on it - although, grabbing something online would be easier. But, then there's the zillions of images available on line to choose from.

Again, I get it that there's risk. I think you have to decide how much risk it actually is and what your tolerance for it is.

[TheOtherMe]

Nephew asked me not to post pictures of his baby on FB.  I have not and will not unless he says it is okay.  Neither he nor his wife have posted any pictures of baby on FB.  She has on Instagram.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I post pictures of the kids on facebook but I have my page locked down so people can't share.  MIL has no clue how to use Facebook or any kind of privacy setting.  All of a sudden I was getting friend requests from people and comments about my kid that I had no clue who they were.  I locked my page so the only person who can share images is me and only my friends list can see them.  She's pretty pissed at me.   

I know it's more likely to be family or people my kids' know but then they "know" the people at church at least in their minds since those people have names and recognizable faces.   I don't freaking know them so I don't want them having my kids' images.  I could not get through to her how disturbing it was to log on and find men I don't know telling me my kids are cute.  

I would not post their images on Next door which would contain enough of my home information that people could scout the neighborhood or use it on other online forums to try to build a rapport with my kid.  It's been shown that the more information a person has the more likely a kid won't consider them a "stranger" anymore.   Why take the chance?    It's not like it hurts anything to keep my kids' images as private as possible for as long as I am able to control it.

[Tiny]

Aug 17, 2020 13:17:42 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Aug 17, 2020 13:09:08 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Most pervs are friends or family.

Random pervs will be looking for children online that appear to be unsupervised. Not a picture of kids that you have to hunt down through their grandparents. Although, I wouldn't put a picture of young kids on a public profile that has my address or neighborhood along with a name or something.

I was told I was a horrible mother and this person "pities" my children because they have me as a Mom. I let them play outside and ride bikes when they were like 7. No randos.

Her profile has her full legal name and street name.  It doesn't take a genius to find the address on the appraisal district website.   Oh well, her choice to make.

Why bother with the appraisal site... that might take an hour or more.

The Google Knows All... just enter the last name, city name and hit enter. You'll probably find info to do some additional googles and wham bam you know a really lot about the person.

I, um, stalk,  houses for sale (or about to be on sale)  in an attempt to side step the professional flippers who get first pick of houses before they hit the market - sometimes with just word of mouth (some one's gran gran died, she lives in some other state, the estate will need to sell the "house" - which might not even be a house... add in a couple of things I know about the person's visits to gran gran so I can narrow down what area of the state to search - and odds are I can find a handful of possible "properties" one of which likely belongs to gran gran.) in about an hour or less. Yeah, it's creepy. I did this three times and creep ed myself out. I don't do it anymore. (and tmi: Did look to buying one of the properties, the other 2 were out of my price range.)

[Deleted]

I don't think about it much, but I only post pictures on Facebook and this site. 

[sesfw]

My FB picture is of this beautiful Hunter kitty 

Don't post other pictures

[NastyWoman]

I would love to show of my very cute, handsome grand babies, but when DGS1 was born I promised my son and DDIL I would not post pictures of them. DS2 and his wife did not ask me for this but I believe that it is the parents prerogative to decide what is and is not shown of their children on social media. 

They are so damned cute though that I have been sorely tempted more than once...

[gs11rmb]

I post pictures of my kids on Facebook all the time although my account is private.  Yes, there are sickos out there but I worry much more that there's someone I know and trust that's a perv rather than a stranger looking at the girls' first day of school pics.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2020 13:52:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I post pictures of the kids on facebook but I have my page locked down so people can't share.  MIL has no clue how to use Facebook or any kind of privacy setting.  All of a sudden I was getting friend requests from people and comments about my kid that I had no clue who they were.  I locked my page so the only person who can share images is me and only my friends list can see them.  She's pretty pissed at me.   

I know it's more likely to be family or people my kids' know but then they "know" the people at church at least in their minds since those people have names and recognizable faces.   I don't freaking know them so I don't want them having my kids' images.  I could not get through to her how disturbing it was to log on and find men I don't know telling me my kids are cute.  

I would not post their images on Next door which would contain enough of my home information that people could scout the neighborhood or use it on other online forums to try to build a rapport with my kid.  It's been shown that the more information a person has the more likely a kid won't consider them a "stranger" anymore.   Why take the chance?    It's not like it hurts anything to keep my kids' images as private as possible for as long as I am able to control it.

You are kidding yourself.  If it isn't shareable, all one has to do is save a copy of the picture and then post it yourself.  Your system works because your MIL doesn't know how to use Facebook.

[raeoflyte]

I dont post pics of other peoples kids I edit everyone else out before posting (not well, but I make sure faces are removed or covered). Same with instructors unless I have permission.

I started to wonder if I should stop sharing fb memories of the kids that pop up. I showed a goofy one of ds to get his take and thankfully he thought it was adorable and didnt care if I shared it with my dorky friends and family.

I keep my settings locked down pretty tight, but realistically everyone else in the world is posting those group shots and google, fb, instagram, and gawd knows who else has the facial recognition down to associate their faces with my account. I cant pretend to have even a fraction of the photos floating around out there of them.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2020 16:36:33 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Aug 17, 2020 13:52:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I post pictures of the kids on facebook but I have my page locked down so people can't share.  MIL has no clue how to use Facebook or any kind of privacy setting.  All of a sudden I was getting friend requests from people and comments about my kid that I had no clue who they were.  I locked my page so the only person who can share images is me and only my friends list can see them.  She's pretty pissed at me.   

I know it's more likely to be family or people my kids' know but then they "know" the people at church at least in their minds since those people have names and recognizable faces.   I don't freaking know them so I don't want them having my kids' images.  I could not get through to her how disturbing it was to log on and find men I don't know telling me my kids are cute.  

I would not post their images on Next door which would contain enough of my home information that people could scout the neighborhood or use it on other online forums to try to build a rapport with my kid.  It's been shown that the more information a person has the more likely a kid won't consider them a "stranger" anymore.   Why take the chance?    It's not like it hurts anything to keep my kids' images as private as possible for as long as I am able to control it.

You are kidding yourself.  If it isn't shareable, all one has to do is save a copy of the picture and then post it yourself.  Your system works because your MIL doesn't know how to use Facebook.

Can't you lock it so they can't copy the pictures too?  I know I haven't been able to on some people's pages.  Of course you could always do a screen shot to get it I guess.  I have mine set so nobody can tag me. I don't need to see hideous pictures of myself popping up on my feed. 

[Deleted]

I cautioned DD about posting pics after I read an article that creeped me out. It was about how people with the know how can get the geo tagging off of posted pictures and learn exactly where it was taken. I’ve forgotten the details now.

And I’ve reminded her several times since how we try to be careful, but over time, we can give enough information for a person to learn even more about us or even track us down. And I urged her to consider whether it was really a good idea to accept friend requests from people that aren’t even a friend of a friend, just some random person. I know, I’m a worry-wart.

She ended up getting creeped out a few years ago when some weirdo commented under my DGD’s picture “I like her”. She blocked him and stopped posting the babies.

I think they’re adorable, but I have never posted pictures of them anywhere.  I don’t even refer to them by their names on social media, the rare times I’ve even mentioned them. I’ve only posted 1 picture of my own kids, and they’re adults lol.

[Deleted]

When DDIL or her parents post pics of the kids they're locked down but I do a screen shot and edit them in Affinity Photo (great sub for PhotoShop, far cheaper).

Before their first was born, DS didn't want ANY pics of their kids on FB. I'm glad he relented. I rarely repost anything they post although I happily save them for my own use. I occasionally post pics I take of the grandchildren and tag DDIL (DS isn't on FB) but they're all very G-rated and nothing that would embarrass them if they saw them when they got older (stories about toilet training, bad behavior, etc.)

I would never include them in a profile pic of my own. On Next Door I use a fake name and no profile pic.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2020 19:08:29 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 17, 2020 16:36:33 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

You are kidding yourself.  If it isn't shareable, all one has to do is save a copy of the picture and then post it yourself.  Your system works because your MIL doesn't know how to use Facebook.

Can't you lock it so they can't copy the pictures too?  I know I haven't been able to on some people's pages.  Of course you could always do a screen shot to get it I guess.  I have mine set so nobody can tag me. I don't need to see hideous pictures of myself popping up on my feed. 

I don't know.  The few times I haven't been able to make copy of a picture, they have been formatted as a web page instead of a jpeg.  I copy pictures mostly to put together a family calendar.  No one is deliberately blocking me.

In any case, completely locking the picture is probably beyond most users' experience.