Is it just my Coronacoaster?

[Happy prose]

I've been working from home since mid March. I love my office, love the work and have lots of friends there after 22 years. Yesterday, when I was wrapping up for the day, I realized I wouldn't care if I never saw these people ever again. There is not one person I would terribly miss. Is that normal, or is staying at home getting to me? I feel like I should have more of a bond, but nope.

[pulmonarymd]

They are coworkers. Unless you have some sort of emotional connection, they are nothing but acquaintances. One reason people who retire aren’t that sad, I think

[Happy prose]

Jul 11, 2020 6:54:03 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

They are coworkers. Unless you have some sort of emotional connection, they are nothing but acquaintances. One reason people who retire aren’t that sad, I think

That's pretty much it- I have no emotional connection. I have fun/laughs with them, but it may be just to pass the day. I won't be sad when I retire! Also, social media keeps me semi in touch with them.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I worked at home for a couple of months in a different role than I normally
have at work.

While I like my co-workers, they fell off of my radar pretty quickly. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.

[Happy prose]

It's funny, when I was out for about 2 weeks,I was wishing to go back. Now, no way. I like being home. I have 2.5 yrs until I reach my 25 for pension and benefits, so I'll have to go back sooner or later. It's not torture, just don't miss anyone. 

[swamp]

On the flip side, I work in an office with just me and my assistant.  Sometimes her son comes in to file, type simple letters, shred papers, etc. 

We worked through the pandemic.     I love my assistant dearly, she is a wonderful woman.  However, some days I'd like to see a few other people, and I'm sure she feels the same way about me. 

[Happy prose]

swamp Prior to starting your practice, you worked for a larger office, right? A former coworker of mine retired, and is now in a 5 person office. He's not real happy. He was with us (257 people) for over 25 years.

[Lizard Queen]

Jul 11, 2020 8:49:48 GMT -5 swamp said:

On the flip side, I work in an office with just me and my assistant.  Sometimes her son comes in to file, type simple letters, shred papers, etc. 

We worked through the pandemic.     I love my assistant dearly, she is a wonderful woman.  However, some days I'd like to see a few other people, and I'm sure she feels the same way about me. 

I feel that way about the people in my house. I stopped into the office a couple times, and I missed the people there even though I wouldn't even call them my friends. It's just nice to see and talk someone else other than the husband and kids all the time.

[swamp]

Jul 11, 2020 9:01:43 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

swamp Prior to starting your practice, you worked for a larger office, right? A former coworker of mine retired, and is now in a 5 person office. He's not real happy. He was with us (257 people) for over 25 years.

yes, but not much larger.   2 attorneys, 3 support staff. 

Prior to that, I worked for the county in both prosecution and defense.  Both offices were about 10 to 12 people, but you were out and about interacting with other county offices, police agencies, and private attorneys all the time. 

[TheOtherMe]

When I retired, I had a few close friends who I am still in contact with.  Most of the others, I have to think to remember their names.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 11, 2020 9:07:45 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Jul 11, 2020 8:49:48 GMT -5 swamp said:

On the flip side, I work in an office with just me and my assistant.  Sometimes her son comes in to file, type simple letters, shred papers, etc. 

We worked through the pandemic.     I love my assistant dearly, she is a wonderful woman.  However, some days I'd like to see a few other people, and I'm sure she feels the same way about me. 

I feel that way about the people in my house. I stopped into the office a couple times, and I missed the people there even though I wouldn't even call them my friends. It's just nice to see and talk someone else other than the husband and kids all the time.

I know right?  I love my family, I like my coworkers at both jobs but God they all suck so hard right now!   When I see a new person anymore in the past four months it's like spotting BigFoot.

[Happy prose]

Jul 11, 2020 9:55:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When I retired, I had a few close friends who I am still in contact with.  Most of the others, I have to think to remember their names.

I'm sure I'll keep in touch with a few people. As it is now though, I really only socialize with them at work parties, picnics, etc. 

I think part of the problem is most of the people I was good friends with retired already. I'm 60, and I want to say the majority of the office are in their 30s now. 

[wvugurl26]

Most of my coworkers are nice enough. There is one I socialize with outside of work. His family were guests at my wedding. Other than that I probably wouldn't see the others again.

[Artemis Windsong]

When I left jobs, no one kept in touch with me regularly.

Twice someone called from my former employer in WY to see if my H. and I were still married. They talked to H. not me.

My last place of employment, the men there were overly interested in what I was doing but did not speak directly to me. I went through a period of time feeling stalked just by seeing them or one of their trucks. I am better now.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Unless you have activities outside work hours with coworkers, you're not really friends so yeah - a loose attachment that fades.

[TheOtherMe]

Jul 11, 2020 10:26:56 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

Jul 11, 2020 9:55:51 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When I retired, I had a few close friends who I am still in contact with.  Most of the others, I have to think to remember their names.

I'm sure I'll keep in touch with a few people. As it is now though, I really only socialize with them at work parties, picnics, etc. 

I think part of the problem is most of the people I was good friends with retired already. I'm 60, and I want to say the majority of the office are in their 30s now. 

The part time jobs I worked after I moved here were mostly young people.  I could not relate to them on a "friend" level.

One of the people I keep in touch with is my former manager.  He is now over 80.  

Yes, I did socialize outside of work with the people I am still in contact with 21 years later.

[souldoubt]

I started working in high school and have had what I would consider three regular jobs to this point in my life.  At each of the first two jobs people would get together at someone's house or eventually a bar when we were 21.  My current job which I started in my mid 20's was the beginning of my career and outside of work functions I passed on 99% of invites to go out as I didn't want to mix my work and non-work life.  There's a few people who no longer work there that I still get together with but that's because I consider them friends as opposed to just co-workers.  For me it boils down to my personality as the moment I left my prior two jobs that part of my life was over.  I got along and had fun with different people but it was a matter of convenience as we saw each other up to 5 days a week.  Of the people I currently work with the only one I would stay in contact with when I leave is my boss as she's my mentor.  Outside of that if I run into someone I worked with previously I'm glad to see them and hope they're doing well but it's not like we exchange numbers and plan to meet up.   

[Deleted]

I’ve been working with the same people for over 20 years. I don’t socialize with any of them outside of work. There are only a few that I even really talk to, and even with them, it’s mostly about superficial things instead of things one would talk to their real friends about. I wish them well, but if I retired tomorrow, I doubt I’d go out of my way to keep in touch with them.

It’s kind of odd because we’ve worked together so long that we’ve raised our kids together, gotten married and/or divorced, lost loved ones, and we rally around each other when someone is going through something serious, but that’s more out of being decent people with compassion than actually being real friends.

[souldoubt]

Jul 11, 2020 14:05:17 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

It’s kind of odd because we’ve worked together so long that we’ve raised our kids together, gotten married and/or divorced, lost loved ones, and we rally around each other when someone is going through something serious, but that’s more out of being decent people with compassion than actually being real friends.

I'd say it's that and also because we spend as much time with co-workers as we do our family.  It's natural to have a bond in situations like that and to support one another but it doesn't mean you keep touch once it's over.  To me it's like high school where you have a lot of "friends" but once you graduate the only way you see 99% of them ever again is at a reunion.  They were friends out of convenience because we were stuck together in many of the same classes. 

[Happy prose]

I keep in touch with a few people that have retired already, including my old 'office husband'. We meet for dinner a couple of times a year as a small group. I had so much fun with those people. I just don't see that happening with anyone I currently work with, although I do like them. 

[Tiny]

I've been WFH since mid march.  I haven't "seen" any of my coworkers (they never have video on when in conference meetings). 

I've had a "policy" about not getting too involved with my coworkers after a "disasterous" emotional mess/drama that occurred decades ago (not romantic - just drama - a lot of drama and anger and bitterness and unhappiness).  I just didn't want to get that involved with my coworkers ever again.    So, while I have general "I like my co-workers" feelings and know a bit about their interests (favorite sports team or hobby) or family (married? kids?) I'm not really close.  

That said... back in March when I left the office I was a little "wierded out" by the change (sense of loss)  but I've pretty much gone thru the Stages of Grief: 


The 7 stages of grief

Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
  (weird feeling that my "normal" was ending and that I wouldn't see my coworkers again.) 
Pain and guilt. ...
           (I didn't get to clean out my desk... there were things I could have given to other coworkers...) 
Anger and bargaining. ...
  (struggled with conference calls and communications so had Frustration and Anger - I like the inpromptu "meeting in the hall" or being able to "brainstorm" outside of a meeting) 
Depression. ...
         (realized I might not ever go back to the office - and was kind of fondly remembering the things I liked about the office that I wouldn't ever experience again)
The upward turn. ...
   (and then I realized I was getting more sleep and felt alot better mentally.  (my 2 hours of commuting turned into 2 hours of sleep. ) 
Reconstruction and working through. ...
   (made my home office even better with some stuff ordered from Amazon.  ) 
Acceptance and hope.    (I think I could be very happy never setting foot in the office ever again.  ) 

I am struggling with setting up new routines and 'coping mechanisms" for my "impulsiveness" and lack of attention... and it's hard but I'm doing ok.  

So, in short,  while I like my coworkers and think nice things about them as human beings.... I don't really care if I ever see or talk to them again.   

[Tiny]

Jul 11, 2020 12:55:51 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

Unless you have activities outside work hours with coworkers, you're not really friends so yeah - a loose attachment that fades.

I do kind of miss my "work sibling".   I didn't have a "work spouse".   But one of the guys and I were a little like 'fighting siblings' which was fun - we both were on the same page with this.  We still poke at each other before (or after) a conference call about something NOT work related.  We're all business during the call and when we have to work on a project together.   

[Happy prose]

The last day I left my office, I didn't know it was my last day. It was a Friday, and we were given a schedule to work every other day the following week. I thought about it over the weekend, and called my boss Monday morning asking if I could stay home, due to being nervous about health reasons. Within 2 days, everyone was sent home. I thought it was only going to be for about two weeks. I don't know why I thought that. 

[ners]

When I was first told to work from home I was under the illusion it would only be for a couple of weeks. I was one of the first to be sent home as I process payroll and no one wanted me to become ill.

I absolutely hated working form home. At first I did not have a good work space. I have since set up a table in my basement and currently work from home 1 day a week.

With the increased cases in the county I work in I may be forced to work from home more often. 

[Happy prose]

My work from home gig improved greatly, now that my husband went back to work on Monday. 

[Tiny]

Jul 11, 2020 15:30:11 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

The last day I left my office, I didn't know it was my last day. It was a Friday, and we were given a schedule to work every other day the following week. I thought about it over the weekend, and called my boss Monday morning asking if I could stay home, due to being nervous about health reasons. Within 2 days, everyone was sent home. I thought it was only going to be for about two weeks. I don't know why I thought that. 

That's kind of what happened to my department.  We went home on Friday with the schedule being every one in the office on Monday and Tuesday - and then Wednesday would be the start of the "week at home/week in the office" teams.   We were in the office on Monday and were told no one was coming back to the office once we left for the day.   I thought we'd be WFH for a month maybe 6 weeks and then go to the "alternating week" schedule.    That didn't happen. 

I had started making sure I could WFH the last week of February... I have a "dinosaur" login in and hardware capabilities - as I didn't ever work from home. the majority of my coworkers were already working from home one day a week (a job perk).    I spent some time at home in the evening making sure I could "login" and access my desk top - took me two evenings (with some research/questions at the office during the day) and one call to the helpline (about resetting a password) and I was good to go.    I spent time at the beginning of March hauling home some personal stuff from the office and eating my stash of food.  I also turned all my peices of paper notes and what not into PDFs.     I'm a bit of a dinosaur at work - and I didn't want to be the  "problem child" if/when my boss asked about me working from home.   Myself and one other "dinosaur" co-worker  managed to not be problem children.  we were ready to go with everyone else without special help.    

I kind of could see the "writing on the wall" with the WFH stuff in early February- we have offices in the Asia Pacific countries and they all got sent to WFH or closed  in January and early February.   
(which is why I think it was so weird that people here in America were like "ah, it's just the Flu..."    I don't think they were aware of what was happening in other countries closer to it while I was.  ) 

I admit to having gone thru the stages of grief early on.   I was sad when we said goodbye (or a "see you on the other side" ) back on that Monday in March.  

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Jul 11, 2020 16:17:35 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

My work from home gig improved greatly, now that my husband went back to work on Monday. 

Over the past 4 months, I have learned that my DH thinks out loud all day long at work. 😳😬🙄

[laterbloomer]

Out of all the jobs I have had over 37 years in the work force there is one person I keep in touch with. She was my assistant for 10 years. We both love to travel and make great travel buddies. In all honesty I have trouble remembering a lot of former coworkers names if it was over 15 years ago.

[Deleted]

I am still extremely close with one coworker from the mid-90's.  She was a bold whistleblower who got fired and I was the needy weasel who took her place.  There's a 20 year age difference between us and we can still spend 2 hours on the phone all these years later.  

I've forgotten names so now they are just the crazy in AP who hid all the bills in a closet, the wacko auto-cad guy who stunk of garlic, the receptionist too stupid to work the date stamp device for incoming mail, etc.  Then we had the CFO that embezzled $100,00+, the land clerk who did a lot of day drinking on the job, and lots of crazy accounting temps.  

[Cookies Galore]

I've been with my employer for 11 years and I've made a good number of friends in that time (and one real-life friend I brought to the organization). I'm a likeable gal, lol. I've seen two in person (able to sit outside on their patios) since we started working from home in mid-March, and two friends are coming over for backyard hangs this upcoming weekend. One of my friends from work is immunocompromised so a small group of us have been having semi-regular Zoom gatherings.

I work on a team of 10 other women, and we might not all be "real life" friends, we do genuinely care about each other. Over the years some of us have gone to see one coworker in her plays, another I used to run races with. We have been having weekly video check up meetings. No real agenda, just 30 minutes set aside each week to chat about what we've been doing, and talk about goings on with our organization. I have a text chain with some of my teammates, so we chat somewhat regularly outside of email and office messenger. I also just mailed something to another coworker because I knew she'd freaking love it.

So long story short, I've made friends at work and I miss them, and I miss general gossip and chatting with my teammates, but I've also really gotten used to working from home. Going back next year is going to feel weird!