How can you live of that?

[TheHaitian]

So last night we watching “90 day fiancée... the other way”. And this lady was 61 wanting to marry this 30 year old guy in India. Not the issue (my brother last girlfriend was 59 and he is 28 and we were all cool with it. The one before that 47... he just prefers/likes older woman).

Anyway the part that gave me a WTF was that she wanted to file for social security at 62 because she had spent all her money and needed it, and her early social security came to ~$600/month. I had to re-wind to make sure I heard it right.

It made me go and check my 2020 social security statement and if I take it early at 62 it is $1,799/month vs $3,193/month at 70. So using the same percentage I am assuming if she waited she would get $1,072/month ( not that much better but an improvement).

The guy broke it down for her and $300 would go towards rent, and after paying utilities and food she would have $75 left over for emergencies/ unknown. And she was still hell bent on doing it and moving oversees.

I respect her for having the balls... but screw LOVE. At 62 I am not taking my old ass to a foreign country to live with only $600/month coming in and no other savings. Like... hell to the fucks no! Made me seriously question her sanity...

And at 62, no savings... you better get a JOB and keep pushing till at least 65; goal being 70. My mind was just blown... and she was like how she still wants to have a descent life. Girl the only reason it will be half descent is because it is in India; I don’t see how you could expect that in the USA with only $600 coming in.

[andi9899]

Some people do stupid things for love. And if she's moving to India, she won't be collecting US welfare, so not our problem.

[TheHaitian]

Jul 8, 2020 12:06:28 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Some people do stupid things for love. And if she's moving to India, she won't be collecting US welfare, so not our problem.

That is what you think... if things do not work out there or things get hard or need dr’s/medical assistance where do you think she is coming right back too?

I have seen a lot of Haitians to the same, go to Haiti to retire, live the good life. Once they get too old, need to see specialists / dr’s or run out of money... they come right back to the states where their kids are.

[dannylion]

The people on shows like that are not selected because they exhibit rational thought patterns, make wise choices, or exemplify good financial decision making.  Quite the opposite.  Just judging from the teasers for the shows (I tried to watch one of those 90-day fiancee programs once just to see what it was all about and gave up after about 10 minutes) it looks like they tend to be marginal people whose train-wreck lives make the viewers feel better about their own lives. 

I wouldn't try to figure out what she's thinking or what she expects to happen as it would likely make a rational mind explode.  A lot of what you are seeing is probably cherry picked and edited to make her seem even more irrational than she is, and in any event, she probably has no clear plan in mind, just some sort of happily-ever-after dream with no idea how to make it happen.  

If you ask most people (just random people, not YM people) what their goals are or how they plan to achieve them, you are likely to get a list of the possessions they want to own or maybe experiences they want to have but no clear, executable plan to get from here to there.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jul 8, 2020 12:01:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

So last night we watching “90 day fiancée... the other way”. And this lady was 61 wanting to marry this 30 year old guy in India. Not the issue (my brother last girlfriend was 59 and he is 28 and we were all cool with it. The one before that 47... he just prefers/likes older woman).

Anyway the part that gave me a WTF was that she wanted to file for social security at 62 because she had spent all her money and needed it, and her early social security came to ~$600/month. I had to re-wind to make sure I heard it right.

It made me go and check my 2020 social security statement and if I take it early at 62 it is $1,799/month vs $3,193/month at 70. So using the same percentage I am assuming if she waited she would get $1,072/month ( not that much better but an improvement).

The guy broke it down for her and $300 would go towards rent, and after paying utilities and food she would have $75 left over for emergencies/ unknown. And she was still hell bent on doing it and moving oversees.

I respect her for having the balls... but screw LOVE. At 62 I am not taking my old ass to a foreign country to live with only $600/month coming in and no other savings. Like... hell to the fucks no! Made me seriously question her sanity...

And at 62, no savings... you better get a JOB and keep pushing till at least 65; goal being 70. My mind was just blown... and she was like how she still wants to have a descent life. Girl the only reason it will be half descent is because it is in India; I don’t see how you could expect that in the USA with only $600 coming in.

Many countries will not allow you in if you have no means of support.  They want to see bank statements.  

We have done a bit of looking at what it would take to retire overseas.  They want you to have a verifiable income, and for most countries $600 wouldn't cut it.  Also, when she gets eligible, she will have no healthcare as Medicare does not cover you outside of the US.

[justme]

OMG this series is my guilty pleasure. I kinda wanna curse my mom for having me watch it at first, but it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT BEING SINGLE!!!

This lady's story gets even BETTER if you know the background.

So she was originally catfished with the guy using photos of this tall buff dude, and after he came clean she still decided to sell everything and move to India. So they're over there living in an apartment and supposedly he's working on getting his parents to approve the marriage, but it's a tough go of it because she's an old lady and can't give him kids (among other things). Except SURPRISE his father-in-law knocks on her door one night with family members and starts yelling at her and him saying that he needs to go home to his WIFE and stop messing with this nonsense.

But he swears he loooOOOVvveeesSSS her and will get a divorce. In the meantime she heads back to the US because she's not married yet and thus was on just a tourist visa. Supposedly he's started the divorce process but he had NOT showed anyone the papers now. And they're living in a much worse place than the last time because he is having to pay a buttload of money to get divorced (paying back the dowry? I dunno). 

But they're together in India so yayyy...

[TheHaitian]

Jul 8, 2020 13:23:14 GMT -5 justme said:

OMG this series is my guilty pleasure. I kinda wanna curse my mom for having me watch it at first, but it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT BEING SINGLE!!!

This lady's story gets even BETTER if you know the background.

So she was originally catfished with the guy using photos of this tall buff dude, and after he came clean she still decided to sell everything and move to India. So they're over there living in an apartment and supposedly he's working on getting his parents to approve the marriage, but it's a tough go of it because she's an old lady and can't give him kids (among other things). Except SURPRISE his father-in-law knocks on her door one night with family members and starts yelling at her and him saying that he needs to go home to his WIFE and stop messing with this nonsense.

But he swears he loooOOOVvveeesSSS her and will get a divorce. In the meantime she heads back to the US because she's not married yet and thus was on just a tourist visa. Supposedly he's started the divorce process but he had NOT showed anyone the papers now. And they're living in a much worse place than the last time because he is having to pay a buttload of money to get divorced (paying back the dowry? I dunno). 

But they're together in India so yayyy...

Wow!!! 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Ok I did not have the backstory, interesting. Yep she got bigger balls than me then taking all that risk and the guy does not have a job. I repeat she is going to get $600/month social security and the guy DOES not have a JOB.

[Deleted]

An article I once read in a paper in India (their English-language journalism is excellent) had a semi-serious editorial about how the US ought to outsource its LTC business to India. Low costs, reverence for the elderly, interesting place for the kids/grandkids to visit....

But, as Mich and The Haitian noted, lack of Medicare would be a BIG drawback.

And wow- first he used a fake picture and now it turns out he's already married? To the average person in India, $600/month with COLA is big bucks. I'm glad I don't need to find a man to support me in my old age, although with what I'm getting from SS maybe I could do better!

[bobosensei]

From what I heard from Indian coworkers I think you could survive in many places in India on 600 a month.  

[bean29]

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

[justme]

Jul 8, 2020 16:53:27 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

I can't recall if there was a reason why she was going there. Several state it but this is the second season they're on so I can't remember.

This series is seriously half of TLCs programming. They started with 90 days fiance in reference to the 90 days you have in the US to get married when you get a k-1 visa. It then extended to 90 days: happily ever after? following mostly the couples that married but some that didn't. (There's this chick darcey that's been on like 5 seasons of the various iterations.) Then there is before the 90 days where the American visits the other person - often for the first time which they need to do to get photographic evidence for the k-1 visa. The most recent iteration is 90 days the other way with the American going to the other country. One dude this season is going there because his gf refuses to move to him after she discovered he cheated on her while she was gone. Another is moving because his bf has a daughter - I'm guessing k-1 visas don't include kids?

There's also a few more iterations - pillow talk (where people from previous shows watch the current ones and comment on them), a quarantine one checking in on the "stars", and a 90 days strikes back where cast members comment on the episodes of their season and respond to social media posts about them.

It's as trainwreck. And i find it very hard not to watch 🤣

[buystoys]

I have also gotten caught up in this show. 

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 9, 2020 0:20:43 GMT -5 justme said:

Jul 8, 2020 16:53:27 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

I can't recall if there was a reason why she was going there. Several state it but this is the second season they're on so I can't remember.

This series is seriously half of TLCs programming. They started with 90 days fiance in reference to the 90 days you have in the US to get married when you get a k-1 visa. It then extended to 90 days: happily ever after? following mostly the couples that married but some that didn't. (There's this chick darcey that's been on like 5 seasons of the various iterations.) Then there is before the 90 days where the American visits the other person - often for the first time which they need to do to get photographic evidence for the k-1 visa. The most recent iteration is 90 days the other way with the American going to the other country. One dude this season is going there because his gf refuses to move to him after she discovered he cheated on her while she was gone. Another is moving because his bf has a daughter - I'm guessing k-1 visas don't include kids?

There's also a few more iterations - pillow talk (where people from previous shows watch the current ones and comment on them), a quarantine one checking in on the "stars", and a 90 days strikes back where cast members comment on the episodes of their season and respond to social media posts about them.

It's as trainwreck. And i find it very hard not to watch 🤣

I'm with you. This is trash tv I am 100% into. My husband got me into the show!

[gs11rmb]

Jul 8, 2020 16:53:27 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

I hope that's not the plan because I'm not sure it would work!  I'm an immigrant and when I got my green card through marriage my husband had to sign all sorts of paperwork agreeing that I would never be a burden on the state.  I doubt her $600 a month social security would be enough to keep them both if he couldn't work.  Also, it costs quite a bit of money for all the immigration paperwork and I'd bet this particular couple would need a lawyer.

Much better to stay in India where $600 is more than poverty level.

[TheHaitian]

Jul 9, 2020 8:42:44 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jul 8, 2020 16:53:27 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

I hope that's not the plan because I'm not sure it would work!  I'm an immigrant and when I got my green card through marriage my husband had to sign all sorts of paperwork agreeing that I would never be a burden on the state.  I doubt her $600 a month social security would be enough to keep them both if he couldn't work.  Also, it costs quite a bit of money for all the immigration paperwork and I'd bet this particular couple would need a lawyer.

Much better to stay in India where $600 is more than poverty level.

I agree... USCIS fees are no joke. Just 1 paper I had to file for my brother was $580 and that does not include the need for a lawyer like you stated. And now that USCIS is considering increasing their fees to make up for the shortfall they’ve had in visa applications etc. it is going to get more expensive.

And people think that all immigrants had to do is cross the border. USCIS is a business and they make a fortune off people coming to the United States.

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2020 8:42:44 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jul 8, 2020 16:53:27 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I would think he would be willing to marry her to get US Citizenship.  It would require her to go live in India with him, get married there to avoid him being deported and barred from entry for 10 years.  If she goes there, gets married, then applied to bring her husband to the US, he probably would gain his residency.

I hope that's not the plan because I'm not sure it would work!  I'm an immigrant and when I got my green card through marriage my husband had to sign all sorts of paperwork agreeing that I would never be a burden on the state.  I doubt her $600 a month social security would be enough to keep them both if he couldn't work.  Also, it costs quite a bit of money for all the immigration paperwork and I'd bet this particular couple would need a lawyer.

Much better to stay in India where $600 is more than poverty level.

The issue of financial sponsorship (aka guaranteeing support for the applicant) came up with another couple on 90 Days.  If there's a divorce and the sponsorship is revoked, there goes the green card.   I think it the woman from Brazil that's having this issue, but I'm not sure.  

The show is my daily trash TV fix since I quit watching the Housewives of Whatever franchise.

[Deleted]

The folks I really do feel sorry for are her daughters.  She's already mooched on them once and probably will need their help again.  

[justme]

Jul 9, 2020 10:36:03 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Jul 9, 2020 8:42:44 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I hope that's not the plan because I'm not sure it would work!  I'm an immigrant and when I got my green card through marriage my husband had to sign all sorts of paperwork agreeing that I would never be a burden on the state.  I doubt her $600 a month social security would be enough to keep them both if he couldn't work.  Also, it costs quite a bit of money for all the immigration paperwork and I'd bet this particular couple would need a lawyer.

Much better to stay in India where $600 is more than poverty level.

The issue of financial sponsorship (aka guaranteeing support for the applicant) came up with another couple on 90 Days.  If there's a divorce and the sponsorship is revoked, there goes the green card.   I think it the woman from Brazil that's having this issue, but I'm not sure.  

The show is my daily trash TV fix since I quit watching the Housewives of Whatever franchise.

Larissa and Colteeee!!!

God, she's awful. Trying so hard to stay in the US WHEN HER KIDS ARE IN BRAZIL AND SHE HASN'T SEEN THEM IN OVER A YEAR!!!!

And the amount of plastic surgery she's had. I can't believe her dad gave her money - are they really going to give someone with THREE domestic violence charges a green card? I would hope not!