pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Jun 16, 2020 13:46:10 GMT -5
I keep coming back to the Season 2 finale of The Walking Dead when the CDC director tells Rick everyone already has the zombie virus there is no hope. I'm not going to say f*ck it and give up at this point but I understand the burn out, especially when I keep reading about how I might have it, not even know it and oops you killed grandma. I can't just quit my job so I can stay locked up in the house. Same with DH though at least his job can be done from home for the time being. We have to have daycare. It starts to get really depressing and frustrating when you see people doing fun stuff without a care in the world and you're having panic attacks trying to justify things you don't have much choice over like daycare. But this is just a different flavor of the monetarily responsible/irresponsible crowd. Most of you here are above average in your attention to financial responsibilities, savings, and retirement. Plenty of people are spending wildly and having fun, while you squirrel away savings, hoping to some day enjoy your hard work, while they continue to spend and then are eating cat food. This is just far more important in the moment. And if you happen to be the unlucky one who has no risk factors and dies, it doesn't matter what happens to everyone else. There will always be irresponsible people, no different in this instance.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 16, 2020 13:52:02 GMT -5
I finally caved in May when our stay at home orders were lifted and went home to visit my family. I was careful for the prior weeks as both my grandma and uncle are high risk. My grandma had been begging to see me. She's 89, so I'm super nervous. She doesn't seem to care. I saw my mom on my way out of town as my last stop. She's an OR nurse in a local hospital. We both agreed on that.
DH's immediate family has been gathering as they please since Easter. Most of them are working at home, only going to store, etc.
I know others have been much more strict than me. Other than having my vacation, I'm in no hurry to resume normal. It sucks in some ways but in other ways, the new requirements take away from the experience so I'm skipping it.
And maybe the vacation will be a disastrous idea but it's what we are living for.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 16, 2020 13:54:13 GMT -5
I am tired. Kids, work, mom with dementia, "new job interview" DH not working (which I don't really care about, but he does), COVID, stupid racists, people who still think Trump is a gift from God, Just everything. How is your mom doing as of late, Swamp? My mom had Alzheimer's disease so I understand what you are going though. She is declining rapidly and she really needs 24/7 supervised care. She can no longer bathe, dress herself, prepare any food, or figure out how to eat most foods. She needs to be watched all the time. She's also getting aggressive at times. My dad is 81 and is doing his best, but he has his own issues to deal with. The other night he called me to come down because she was so mean and aggressive. She said she was leaving, but just went and walked up and down the sidewalk she is on the waiting list for the nursing home of his choice, but he won't place her while they are not allowing visits. Two openings have come up that we've had to bypass.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 16, 2020 14:04:31 GMT -5
I keep coming back to the Season 2 finale of The Walking Dead when the CDC director tells Rick everyone already has the zombie virus there is no hope. I'm not going to say f*ck it and give up at this point but I understand the burn out, especially when I keep reading about how I might have it, not even know it and oops you killed grandma. I can't just quit my job so I can stay locked up in the house. Same with DH though at least his job can be done from home for the time being. We have to have daycare. It starts to get really depressing and frustrating when you see people doing fun stuff without a care in the world and you're having panic attacks trying to justify things you don't have much choice over like daycare. But this is just a different flavor of the monetarily responsible/irresponsible crowd. Most of you here are above average in your attention to financial responsibilities, savings, and retirement. Plenty of people are spending wildly and having fun, while you squirrel away savings, hoping to some day enjoy your hard work, while they continue to spend and then are eating cat food. This is just far more important in the moment. And if you happen to be the unlucky one who has no risk factors and dies, it doesn't matter what happens to everyone else. There will always be irresponsible people, no different in this instance. True but I have days where I feel like I'm the one who is an idiot. Just like with finances you see people doing stupid shit who appear to be coated in Teflon. While logically I know this is not remotely true there are days when I am sitting in the house wondering why the hell do I bother. I was talking with a co-worker and said if I had known how much being an adult can suck I would have made a lot poorer life choices when I was young and dumb.
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nidena
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Post by nidena on Jun 16, 2020 14:08:53 GMT -5
This conversation regarding dementia has me thinking about the one I just had with my dad the other day. He asked how Y was doing. Y is the person whom I lived with last fall and with whom I had a falling out in Jan of this year. And the way my dad was talking, he thinks we had a falling out because Y got married and now has someone else she can lean on. Y has been married for nearly 21 years. I just had to kind of go along with the conversation with my dad. I think this isolation has made his decline quicken and I can't imagine how my second mom (stepmom) is doing with all of it. He's mid 70s, she's over 80. She also has a close friend that was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, another was diagnosed with breast cancer. These are women who are all real close. They've all lived in the same neighborhood for more than a decade. They lunch together once a week or so...well, they DID; they don't now.
I wish I could go visit but I can't. They're 2000 miles from me.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Jun 16, 2020 14:09:42 GMT -5
My DH and I were just talking about how frustrating it is when you see people doing all the fun stuff you want to do, but you know it's a bad idea. When we were still shelter in place here, and most people were taking this seriously, it was fine. I'm bored? It's ok, I'm doing the right thing, everyone feels this way, I don't want to get sick. Now? I'm bored AND frustrated. And the frustration is what's making things hard now. Plus, the more people who "break the rules" the more likely this is to never go away.
So, yes, I'm tired. I'm tired of WFH. I'll be WFH for a while yet - maybe even until the end of the year. It's hard to stay motivated working from home and never seeing coworkers or students in person. It's even harder to sit at home and see people out having fun, while knowing that even tho my governor says it's ok, feeling like no, it's really not ok. I'm tired of my family (parents, cousins, aunts/uncles) thinking I'm being ridiculous when we decline their invites for things like parties that will be held inside with a lot of at-risk folks. I'm tired of eating at my house. This is a super FWP, but the daily discussions of "what are we going to make today" are killing me. We never ate out much before this, but now that we don't have the OPTION, I'm over it. Even takeout has lost its luster. I just want to not have to think of food and meal planning and what do we have on hand so we don't have to go to Kroger for the second time this week.
I fully recognize that all of my tiredness is super privileged and try to keep it in check. It doesn't stop me from being tired of it all, though.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Jun 16, 2020 14:19:49 GMT -5
First of all, I would like to thank all of you on the behalf of my fellow health care workers. Your sacrifice is making things safer and better for us, and we recognize the issues you are all identifying, as we feel them too.
It is important to find the things that are really important to you now, and find a way to do those that are most enjoyable. Managing risk is what we all need to do. Just like a strict diet doesn't work as it is not sustainable, neither is a severe lockdown
Slowly increase your social circle, your activity, or exercise outside, so you have the feeling that things are improving.
Know that doing things outside is far safer. For example, we have been out to eat outdoors twice since it was allowed, and boy, was that good. I too am getting tired of eating at home all the time, and am bored with our cooking.
Stay off social media. I have stopped listening to NPR and have not put the TV news on in over 1 month. Been getting the news from my local paper and news feeds. Helps my mood.
Don't know if that helps, but my 2 cents.
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nidena
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Post by nidena on Jun 16, 2020 14:22:04 GMT -5
I fully recognize that all of my tiredness is super privileged and try to keep it in check. It doesn't stop me from being tired of it all, though. Just because our situation may be better than others doesn't mean we can't feel like it's a tough one. Struggle is struggle, period. And that was why I started this thread. My existence is easy. But damn! if it ain't hard, too.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 16, 2020 14:33:32 GMT -5
A therapist told me that we are all entitled to our feelings. While it is good to not get too self absorbed that doesn't mean you don't feel how you feel at the moment. You're feeling it and you need to process/deal with it. Oddly stress eating, emotional shopping and drinking were NOT on the list of approved ways to cope. I have been retreating more and more into my books. I'm getting to where I was in middle school which I am not sure is a good thing. I mean books are a great escape but I am starting to get too withdrawn from the real world. I do have a dental appointment tomorrow. I am hoping to get approved for Invisalign. Getting my teeth fixed would be a huge boost to my mood and ego. Unfortunately I am in a mental state right now that I am figuring this will be a waste of time, I won't be a candidate. DH said I'm sinking too far into the negative but he can't entirely blame me for it, especially after the blow of finding out I can't go on vacation this year. ETA: OMG I so agree with the cooking and take out! I have quickly lost interest in UberEats and all those companies after seeing the fees. Then while I am not a terrible cook having to think of something to cook right now exhausts me despite having two shelves full of cookbooks for inspiration. Sometimes I think The Jetsons have the right idea with their food pills.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 16, 2020 14:34:46 GMT -5
I’m mostly tired of cooking and not getting what I want from Instacart. So next week I’m going to grocery store that’s ususlly quiet and in NJ everyone must wear masks. I also really miss traveling!! I’m making reservations with a friend to go on Viking cruise in Russia . Just so nice to think of a trip but get this - it’s in September 2022. Oh well really hoping there’s a vaccine by then.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 16, 2020 14:36:31 GMT -5
A therapist told me that we are all entitled to our feelings. While it is good to not get too self absorbed that doesn't mean you don't feel how you feel at the moment. You're feeling it and you need to process/deal with it. Oddly stress eating, emotional shopping and drinking were NOT on the list of approved ways to cope. I have been retreating more and more into my books. I'm getting to where I was in middle school which I am not sure is a good thing. I mean books are a great escape but I am starting to get too withdrawn from the real world. I do have a dental appointment tomorrow. I am hoping to get approved for Invisalign. Getting my teeth fixed would be a huge boost to my mood and ego. Unfortunately I am in a mental state right now that I am figuring this will be a waste of time, I won't be a candidate. DH said I'm sinking too far into the negative but he can't entirely blame me for it, especially after the blow of finding out I can't go on vacation this year. ETA: OMG I so agree with the cooking and take out! I have quickly lost interest in UberEats and all those companies after seeing the fees. Then while I am not a terrible cook having to think of something to cook right now exhausts me despite having two shelves full of cookbooks for inspiration. Sometimes I think The Jetsons have the right idea with their food pills. Well, shit.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 16, 2020 14:38:07 GMT -5
A therapist told me that we are all entitled to our feelings. While it is good to not get too self absorbed that doesn't mean you don't feel how you feel at the moment. You're feeling it and you need to process/deal with it. Oddly stress eating, emotional shopping and drinking were NOT on the list of approved ways to cope. I have been retreating more and more into my books. I'm getting to where I was in middle school which I am not sure is a good thing. I mean books are a great escape but I am starting to get too withdrawn from the real world. I do have a dental appointment tomorrow. I am hoping to get approved for Invisalign. Getting my teeth fixed would be a huge boost to my mood and ego. Unfortunately I am in a mental state right now that I am figuring this will be a waste of time, I won't be a candidate. DH said I'm sinking too far into the negative but he can't entirely blame me for it, especially after the blow of finding out I can't go on vacation this year. ETA: OMG I so agree with the cooking and take out! I have quickly lost interest in UberEats and all those companies after seeing the fees. Then while I am not a terrible cook having to think of something to cook right now exhausts me despite having two shelves full of cookbooks for inspiration. Sometimes I think The Jetsons have the right idea with their food pills. Well, shit. Yep. Getting tattoos and drastically changing clothes/hair was not on there either so I am not sure what they expect me to do to manage my stress. April was stress awareness month here at work. Oh believe me I am well aware of all the stress I have had going on since March.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 16, 2020 14:40:27 GMT -5
Yep. Getting tattoos and drastically changing clothes/hair was not on there either so I am not sure what they expect me to do to manage my stress. April was stress awareness month here at work. Oh believe me I am well aware of all the stress I have had going on since March. I'm regularly told that yoga and meditating are ways to cope with stress. yes, if you can shut your brain up for 15 minutes it will work. Otherwise, meh.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 16, 2020 14:43:56 GMT -5
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Jun 16, 2020 14:45:06 GMT -5
Just to be honest here, 2020 hasn't been all that bad for me. My company is doing well, I'm working from home (likely for the long-term, maybe permanently), and my business benefited from the online boom. We had to cancel 2 big trips we had, but managed to do a driving vacation last minute so it worked out. I do feel for all the people that are very negatively impacted by the virus, it's definitely been a challenging year for a lot of people. Not that it will change everything, but most people would benefit to stop with all the news and just get off social media. As someone that is not a news junkie or on social media, it just seems so glaringly obvious that it increases anxiety during times like this. I jokingly tell my family that ignorance is bliss, but there is some truth there. I don't need to know everything, the important stuff will trickle down to me
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 16, 2020 14:48:54 GMT -5
Yep. Getting tattoos and drastically changing clothes/hair was not on there either so I am not sure what they expect me to do to manage my stress. April was stress awareness month here at work. Oh believe me I am well aware of all the stress I have had going on since March. I'm regularly told that yoga and meditating are ways to cope with stress. yes, if you can shut your brain up for 15 minutes it will work. Otherwise, meh. Clearly those people have never tried doing yoga with Abby. I thought the point was to get mommy's blood pressure to go DOWN not up.
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nidena
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Post by nidena on Jun 16, 2020 14:52:54 GMT -5
Just to be honest here, 2020 hasn't been all that bad for me. My company is doing well, I'm working from home (likely for the long-term, maybe permanently), and my business benefited from the online boom. We had to cancel 2 big trips we had, but managed to do a driving vacation last minute so it worked out. I do feel for all the people that are very negatively impacted by the virus, it's definitely been a challenging year for a lot of people. Not that it will change everything, but most people would benefit to stop with all the news and just get off social media. As someone that is not a news junkie or on social media, it just seems so glaringly obvious that it increases anxiety during times like this. I jokingly tell my family that ignorance is bliss, but there is some truth there. I don't need to know everything, the important stuff will trickle down to me It's a dual edged sword. Many of my friends don't like phone calls any more and prefer social media communication. But I'm not disagreeing with you. Once my house transaction goes through--three weeks and three days from now--I'm taking an internet break. Until then, I have to be able to access my email and various other avenues of internet communication.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 16, 2020 15:17:39 GMT -5
I think I need to leave Facebook alone. I just saw someone bragging they only wore a mask twice because the tattoo shop required it. They were very proud of not falling for the "scandemic". I think I'm done with humanity.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 16, 2020 15:19:59 GMT -5
Just to be honest here, 2020 hasn't been all that bad for me. My company is doing well, I'm working from home (likely for the long-term, maybe permanently), and my business benefited from the online boom. We had to cancel 2 big trips we had, but managed to do a driving vacation last minute so it worked out. I do feel for all the people that are very negatively impacted by the virus, it's definitely been a challenging year for a lot of people. Not that it will change everything, but most people would benefit to stop with all the news and just get off social media. As someone that is not a news junkie or on social media, it just seems so glaringly obvious that it increases anxiety during times like this. I jokingly tell my family that ignorance is bliss, but there is some truth there. I don't need to know everything, the important stuff will trickle down to me I guess I’m not on the boards enough. You changed your name and I had to go check to see who you are. 😂
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 16, 2020 15:25:35 GMT -5
How is your mom doing as of late, Swamp? My mom had Alzheimer's disease so I understand what you are going though. She is declining rapidly and she really needs 24/7 supervised care. She can no longer bathe, dress herself, prepare any food, or figure out how to eat most foods. She needs to be watched all the time. She's also getting aggressive at times. My dad is 81 and is doing his best, but he has his own issues to deal with. The other night he called me to come down because she was so mean and aggressive. She said she was leaving, but just went and walked up and down the sidewalk she is on the waiting list for the nursing home of his choice, but he won't place her while they are not allowing visits. Two openings have come up that we've had to bypass. Swamp, I'm am so sorry to hear this about your mother. I know how difficult it was to deal with my dad and he never go to the mean and aggressive stage. It's so hard to watch.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 16, 2020 15:34:12 GMT -5
How is your mom doing as of late, Swamp? My mom had Alzheimer's disease so I understand what you are going though. She is declining rapidly and she really needs 24/7 supervised care. She can no longer bathe, dress herself, prepare any food, or figure out how to eat most foods. She needs to be watched all the time. She's also getting aggressive at times. My dad is 81 and is doing his best, but he has his own issues to deal with. The other night he called me to come down because she was so mean and aggressive. She said she was leaving, but just went and walked up and down the sidewalk she is on the waiting list for the nursing home of his choice, but he won't place her while they are not allowing visits. Two openings have come up that we've had to bypass. Sadly, it all sounds familiar. Your mom's aggressiveness may be most expressed in the late afternoon and evening (Sundowner's syndrome). My dad was in the same position as your dad currently is. Dementia and Alzheimer's disease affects everyone.
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Jun 16, 2020 17:31:16 GMT -5
Our 26 year old son had not been home since October. He drove across the country with his dog this week for a family visit. He was tested the day he arrived. I hugged him harder than ever. DH and I have been working outside the home, always masked and trying to keep distance. Very happy to have him here.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Jun 16, 2020 17:57:26 GMT -5
I’m making reservations with a friend to go on Viking cruise in Russia . Just so nice to think of a trip but get this - it’s in September 2022.We took this trip a year ago and had a great time. The biggest drawback I had was the jet-lag coupled with the sunrise-sunset times. Sunset in Kizhi was 10:33 pm and sunrise 2:47 am .... 5 hours of sorta dark in July. ...
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jun 16, 2020 18:03:28 GMT -5
I’m making reservations with a friend to go on Viking cruise in Russia . Just so nice to think of a trip but get this - it’s in September 2022.We took this trip a year ago and had a great time. The biggest drawback I had was the jet-lag coupled with the sunrise-sunset times. Sunset in Kizhi was 10:33 pm and sunrise 2:47 am .... 5 hours of sorta dark in July. ... Jet lag shouldn’t bother me as I’ve been to Japan and China s fair amount and that’s about 12 hrs difference. I’ll look at September daylight and I always bring masks to wear at night Looking forward to trip, we’ve sailed bareboat in Caribbean but a river cruise with crew seems luxurious
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2020 18:18:51 GMT -5
How is your mom doing as of late, Swamp? My mom had Alzheimer's disease so I understand what you are going though. She is declining rapidly and she really needs 24/7 supervised care. She can no longer bathe, dress herself, prepare any food, or figure out how to eat most foods. She needs to be watched all the time. She's also getting aggressive at times. My dad is 81 and is doing his best, but he has his own issues to deal with. The other night he called me to come down because she was so mean and aggressive. She said she was leaving, but just went and walked up and down the sidewalk she is on the waiting list for the nursing home of his choice, but he won't place her while they are not allowing visits. Two openings have come up that we've had to bypass. Ugh! Dementia and Alzheimer’s are horrible conditions. I watched my Great Grandmother and my Grandmother decline due to one or the other. And I now see the same early signs in my only Aunt, who along with my Great Grandma and Grandmother were like my other Moms. It makes me so sad for my Aunt to ask me the same questions she just asked a couple of days prior. It hurts so much to see people that were once so vibrant, become so confused and forgetful. ”Once a man, twice a child” is so true for people that end up with dementia or Alzheimer’s. I’m so sorry about your Mom swamp. I feel for your Dad, you, and your sibling(s). That is seriously some awful shit to watch and deal with.💕💕💕
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 16, 2020 18:56:41 GMT -5
Swamp I’m really sorry about your Mom and especially the hardship for your Dad. When my mother was diagnosed, the dr told us that this is much harder on the family than the patient. That was so true.
I hope your Dad will be able to place her soon - with visitation (at least for a spouse) allowed
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 16, 2020 19:01:23 GMT -5
We are taking off tomorrow for a camping trip with two other couples. Have not seen them in 3 months. Everyone is in agreement-socializing will be outside, we won’t be sharing meals, and we’ll try to socially distance as much as possible.
I’m looking forward to it
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 16, 2020 19:25:05 GMT -5
I may find out just how well social distancing works. One of my employees just called and here is the situation...
On june 6th an irresponsible person goes to a boat party where apparently there was a COVID positive person.
On june 13th my employee and her husband (who has stated repeatedly to me that they have gone nowhere and seen no one outside of their household) have irresponsible boat dude and his girlfriend over for a pool party/cookout, along with another one of my employees and her husband.
Today, june 16th, irresponsible boat dude test positive for COVID so now both of my employees were possibly exposed this past Saturday.
I was in the office with one of these employees all day today. Luckily, we were the only 2 people there. We both had hot items that we needed to be in the office to complete. We never came in close contact. We did eat lunch together but were at least 6-8 feet apart.
Geez...thank you irresponsible people. So now both employees are getting tested tomorrow. I'm waiting it out. I don't think I have been exposed but don't want to risk anyone's health so here i sit for the next 14 days playing the waiting game.
ETA: if boat dude is sick today then my guess is he was definitely carrying the virus on Saturday. I'm guessing at least one of my employees is going to test positive
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 16, 2020 20:38:30 GMT -5
I am sick of staying home and even if we go out there is nothing to do, noplace to go. I have noticed the powerplant lake by our house is seeing tons of boats of late. One evening coming home from the house I counted 10! I'm guessing those guys are going crazy staying home.
I have tons of books, bought more and am on a reading frenzy. Also trying to keep up with the workouts I'm doing for PT. My whole body is sore. But its just not enough. I would like to go to a movie, they may all go bankrupt. Out for dinner, or shopping. We have few stores left here now. I can see how isolated people out on the prairies lost their minds. The lack of any social interaction is awful.
I think the retail world will be devastated. Even the grocers are out of a lot of stuff. I was ordering everything the last couple of times, they had maybe half, so I masked up and went to 2 or 3 grocers to get food. And Amazon is getting slower and slower for deliveries, sigh. Yes, I am tired.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jun 16, 2020 20:54:24 GMT -5
I may find out just how well social distancing works. One of my employees just called and here is the situation... On june 6th an irresponsible person goes to a boat party where apparently there was a COVID positive person. On june 13th my employee and her husband (who has stated repeatedly to me that they have gone nowhere and seen no one outside of their household) have irresponsible boat dude and his girlfriend over for a pool party/cookout, along with another one of my employees and her husband. Today, june 16th, irresponsible boat dude test positive for COVID so now both of my employees were possibly exposed this past Saturday. I was in the office with one of these employees all day today. Luckily, we were the only 2 people there. We both had hot items that we needed to be in the office to complete. We never came in close contact. We did eat lunch together but were at least 6-8 feet apart. Geez...thank you irresponsible people. So now both employees are getting tested tomorrow. I'm waiting it out. I don't think I have been exposed but don't want to risk anyone's health so here i sit for the next 14 days playing the waiting game. ETA: if boat dude is sick today then my guess is he was definitely carrying the virus on Saturday. I'm guessing at least one of my employees is going to test positive I'd be concerned that they test negative tomorrow, but may be positive after 5-10 more days.
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