Using police - stories from Not Always Right

[Opti]

Cop: “Did you hit this boy with that car last night?”

Me: “No.”

Teen: “She’s lying! Arrest her!”

Cop: *to the teen* “Shush.” *to me* “He says you did. How about we go to the station and get this cleared up?”

(The teen starts looking quite smug.)

Me: “Sure. Should I also bring along the dash cam video that shows this minor out after curfew, crossing the street in a dark area, and staring down at his phone the entire time, up until I almost hit him?”

(The teen’s smug face drops. The cop studies me for a couple of seconds, and then just gives me a single nod.)

Cop: “Thank you, that won’t be necessary. When my dear nephew here—“ *raises his hand to grasp the back of the teen’s neck* “—told me a car practically ran him off the road, I figured I’d better look into it. But I believe you, and I’ll make sure he has plenty to do to stay busy until school resumes. Have a nice day, miss.”


notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/6/

[Opti]

Woman: “No! He robbed me inside the store. He wouldn’t accept my $5-off coupon for my purchases, so he robbed me of $5. I want him arrested, and you can be sure I am going to be calling his bosses to get him fired, but I can’t imagine him having a job after you guys arrest him, anyway.”

(The deputy and I exchange a look of disbelief, and we tell the other officers they can resume patrol as we have the situation under control.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I am going to go inside and get his side of the story since we got your side.”

(I walk in and the manager is already waiting for me. He is waiting to see if we need anything from him, as he thought there was an incident in the parking lot. He had no idea we were there about him. I tell him why are there and what she said and everything.)

Manager: *does an actual facepalm* “Oh, my god. She actually did it? That woman is f****** bonkers. We have issues with her every time she comes in, trying to use fake coupons she finds online, and when we tell her they can’t be used, she always says she’s going to call 911 and say I robbed her.”

(We talked to the cashier who checked her out, and she confirmed the woman was nuttier than a fruit cake. I walked back outside. I didn’t even have to say anything; the deputy knew by the look on my face to hook the lady up with some shiny new bracelets. She promptly started fighting with us and ended up on the ground after she tried to back-kick the deputy between the legs. As we dragged her to the deputy’s cruiser, she was screaming about how the police never believe her when she tells them she’s been robbed, and just carrying on. 


notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/9/

[Opti]

A fun one, for a twist.


(I go to a Catholic high school, and we have a couple of awesome priests who are science teachers. These teachers have some sodium metal — which explodes on contact with water — for demonstration purposes, but decide that it is probably getting too old to keep around, so they decide to get rid of it. One night it is absolutely pouring rain, and there are some huge puddles in the parking lot, which is under reconstruction. This seems like the perfect opportunity, and so the two of them have a marvelous time chucking pieces of sodium into the puddles and listening to the boom. Unfortunately, someone nearby hears the boom and thinks someone is doing something unsavory, and calls the police. When they realize the police are heading to them, one of them goes in and quickly puts on his priest collar. When they greet the cops, the following exchange occurs.)

Cop: “Sorry to disturb you Father, but the neighbors reported hearing something like an explosion over here. Have you heard anything?”

Priest: “We didn’t hear anything unexpected, officer!”

Cop: “Okay, sorry to bother you. Must be a false alarm.”

(The priests thanked them for stopping by and somehow kept straight faces through it all. It was totally the truth, though; they completely expected to hear explosions!)


notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/13/

[Opti]

Me: “Activities? What do you mean, ‘activities’?”

Officer: “Do you mind stepping outside?”

Me: “Considering you just woke me up from a deep sleep? Yeah. What’s this all about?”

Neighbor: “I’ll tell you what it’s about, mister! No one ever sees you during the day, and we all see you wandering off to God-knows-where late at night, only to return in the early morning! That’s not right. We know you’re up to something, and we’re not putting up with your immoral lifestyle any longer!”

Me: “Immoral lifestyle?”

Neighbor: *to the officer* “It’s just not right. He’s probably selling drugs or something. I don’t feel safe with him around here!”

Officer: *to her* “I’ll handle it, ma’am. Sir, we’ve had several calls, and it’s starting to become a problem. Drugs are an issue in this area, so it’d be easier on everyone if you just cooperated and told us what you are doing. Mind stepping out here so we can talk?”

Me: “I’m heading to work.”
...
Officer: “You work at [Prison]?”

Me: “Yep. I’m the night watch sergeant over B block.”

(The neighbor’s smug face has started to sour at this point as she looks to the officer. He, however, turns on her.)

Officer: “So, let me get this straight. You see him leaving late at night, and then coming back early in the morning… and it never dawned on you that maybe he works nights?”

Neighbor: “But… it’s immoral! He should be at home at night, and he never shows up to church; we’ve not seen him there once! This is America. It’s a law; he has to go to church on Sunday!”

Officer: “No, lady, it’s not a law. There’s no such law.”

(Turning back to me, he nodded, apologized for waking me up, and then told the lady that he was done. As I was closing my door, I heard her shrill voice screaming, “But it’s the LAW! This is a Christian nation; he HAS to go to church!” The next day, after I got off work, I stopped by the local church and had a word with the pastor there. He’s something of an old family friend. I related what the lady had said, and that she’d called the police on me. He said that he wasn’t at all surprised, and noted that she’d come to him with it first, only to leave in a huff when he explained that he wasn’t going to do anything about it and advised her that it was best left alone.)
notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/15/

[Opti]

Sheriff: “Can you tell [Lawyer] to call me today as soon as he is available?”

Me: “Yes, I will. Does this mean that Mr. [Caller] is not going to be calling us anymore?”

Sheriff: “I can’t promise that he won’t call back, but hopefully this will have calmed down his need to talk to [Lawyer].”

(Two hours later, the lawyer finally finishes with his client, and I flag him down to explain the situation. He instantly groans and starts laughing.)

Lawyer: “Did he really call the police on me? I can’t believe him. I went on his property to talk with his wife about some different property that she was selling. He was angry that I was there to even talk with her, because his name isn’t on the property for sale, so he won’t get any of the money. He called the office twice last night and left a message to complain about me going over there to seduce her and claimed that she was completely upset with my even being there. She was the one that invited me over to talk about selling the land to me! What a jerk!”

notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/20/

[Opti]

From New Zealand at an off-leash dog park. Long, so I recommend the link. Technically not using the police, because he happened to be there, but a nice story showing how some men love to bully women using the police card.


never coming within 15 feet of the guy. As the man passes us, I hear him mutter something under his breath.)

Me: “Excuse me? What was that?”

Man: *waiting until he’s a good distance away from me, then shouting* “I said you should have that f****** ugly mutt on a leash!”

Me: “It’s an off-leash dog park!”

Man: *still walking away* “Don’t f*** with me, b****, or I’ll report you and have that f****** dog shot!”

Me: *getting angrier now* “Hey! Come back here and say that to my face! We haven’t done anything wrong! Don’t be a f****** coward!”

(Right at that moment, I hear a calm, deep voice behind me. I turn around and find myself staring up at a very tall policeman. I don’t know where he came from but he clearly heard the whole exchange.)

Cop: “Please wait here, miss. Sir! Sir, please come over here. Yes, sir, you, the one shouting threats. Please approach.”

(The man shuffles back over to us, looking alternately furious and scared.)

Cop: “Thank you. Now, sir, from what I heard, you threatened to report this dog and have it euthanised. Please tell me what happened.”

Man: “It’s not on a leash! It was going to charge me! It could have attacked!”

Cop: *looking down at my Labrador which is now leaning against his leg and slobbering on his trousers* “…this dog?”

...

Man: “No.”

Cop: “So, would you now please clarify what this dog has done that warrants being reported and subsequently euthanised?”

Man: “It was her! She started yelling at me!”

Cop: “I see. So you’re saying she should be reported and euthanised?”

Man: “Uh…”

Cop: “Sir, you are clearly not a dog lover. That’s okay — not everyone is. But I do suggest that for your peace of mind, and your blood pressure, you take your walks somewhere that is not a registered, off-leash dog park.
notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/20/

[Opti]

A personal favorite, when criminals use the police as a bluff and it backfires.


(A customer is making a scene at the customer service counter. He wants a refund on a phone we don’t stock and has a receipt from another store with a name that sounds similar to ours but isn’t quite the same. I’ve had to call my manager over to explain we can’t refund products that weren’t purchased from us but this guy refuses to budge.)

Customer: “Listen, buddy, you are going to give me back the money I paid for this piece of s**** or I am going to dial the police right now and see how you like having to deal with them!”

Manager: “If you do that they’ll tell you they can’t do much. I’ve already explained, and my employee has already explained, that you didn’t purchase this from us so we can’t refund you for it.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out his phone and makes a show of dialing the police.)

Customer: “Yeah this is [Customer] at [Store] at [Address]… I need some boys in blue to come down and settle a dispute the s*** these employees are giving me! No… no, they aren’t armed… No, I’m not in any danger… Look, just send the d*** police, okay?! Thank you!”

(He turns and smiles smugly at us.)

Customer: “You two are in trouble now!” 
...
Customer: “Aren’t you going to try to get me to call off the cops?”

Manager: “Sir, I already told you they aren’t going to be able to do anything. Upholding our return policy is not a crime so all that’s going to happen is they’re going to come here, possibly take a statement, and tell you there’s nothing more to be done.”

(The customer’s smile slowly melts away.)

Customer: “You’re serious? You’re not going to do anything to stop the cops from getting involved?”

Manager: “I don’t know how else to say this, sir. You want to return something you didn’t buy here; we can’t do that because, as stated, you didn’t buy it here. If the only way you will believe me is if the police tell it to you then so be it.”

(The customer is now looking pale.)

Customer: “You… you a**-hole! I have unpaid tickets! I can’t talk to the police!”

notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/26/

[toomuchreality]

😁

Re: police
When I called 911 for the fire dept on 6/10/20 (my car was on fire), the police also responded.
The officers were very nice and helpful. Considering how upset I was and my state of mind, I was very appreciative of that.

During this time of so much negativity, especially toward the police, I think it's important to acknowledge the positive.

[Opti]

This thread isn't anti-police, its anti people who use the police against others for the wrong reasons. I think authors choose the tags for their posts at NAR because many of the stories I was looking for did not show up. One concerned a neighbor girl who stole her neighbor's package which was captured on her Ring camera. The Mom denied the girl was doing anything wrong so she called the police on the neighbor for the gall of trying to get her package back and talking to the mom about it. The girl defaced her neighbor's door twice. Because the girl's mom had called the police the first time, they happened to be on patrol to see the daughter do it the second time. This is when the police discovered lots of packages not owned by the family in the house.

[toomuchreality]

Jun 14, 2020 6:38:56 GMT -5 Opti said:

This thread isn't anti-police, its anti people who use the police against others for the wrong reasons. I think authors choose the tags for their posts at NAR because many of the stories I was looking for did not show up. One concerned a neighbor girl who stole her neighbor's package which was captured on her Ring camera. The Mom denied the girl was doing anything wrong so she called the police on the neighbor for the gall of trying to get her package back and talking to the mom about it. The girl defaced her neighbor's door twice. Because the girl's mom had called the police the first time, they happened to be on patrol to see the daughter do it the second time. This is when the police discovered lots of packages not owned by the family in the house.

Holy crap!
Karma.

I don't understand people who call the police, for the wrong reasons, or unnecessarily.

Sorry for posting my story here. I just wanted to be positive.

[tractor]

I think this fits...I have a good friend who works for the Sheriffs Department. We were discussing just last week how the $1,200 CARE checks were causing a spike in arrests/calls for assistance.

Apparently it’s common practice to call the police when your dealer shorted you on your recent drug purchase, with so many flush with unplanned cash, they’re buying drugs in bulk now. The officers now not only take your illegal drugs, they don’t get your money back from the dealer either causing all sorts of pissed off citizens 😀

Sadly, the extra $$ has also led to a spike in overdose deaths in our county.

[mollyanna58]

Jun 17, 2020 9:02:59 GMT -5 tractor said:

I think this fits...I have a good friend who works for the Sheriffs Department. We were discussing just last week how the $1,200 CARE checks were causing a spike in arrests/calls for assistance.

Apparently it’s common practice to call the police when your dealer shorted you on your recent drug purchase, with so many flush with unplanned cash, they’re buying drugs in bulk now. The officers now not only take your illegal drugs, they don’t get your money back from the dealer either causing all sorts of pissed off citizens 😀

Sadly, the extra $$ has also led to a spike in overdose deaths in our county.

Truly sad.  

[teen persuasion]

Jun 13, 2020 16:24:02 GMT -5 Opti said:

A fun one, for a twist.


(I go to a Catholic high school, and we have a couple of awesome priests who are science teachers. These teachers have some sodium metal — which explodes on contact with water — for demonstration purposes, but decide that it is probably getting too old to keep around, so they decide to get rid of it. One night it is absolutely pouring rain, and there are some huge puddles in the parking lot, which is under reconstruction. This seems like the perfect opportunity, and so the two of them have a marvelous time chucking pieces of sodium into the puddles and listening to the boom. Unfortunately, someone nearby hears the boom and thinks someone is doing something unsavory, and calls the police. When they realize the police are heading to them, one of them goes in and quickly puts on his priest collar. When they greet the cops, the following exchange occurs.)

Cop: “Sorry to disturb you Father, but the neighbors reported hearing something like an explosion over here. Have you heard anything?”

Priest: “We didn’t hear anything unexpected, officer!”

Cop: “Okay, sorry to bother you. Must be a false alarm.”

(The priests thanked them for stopping by and somehow kept straight faces through it all. It was totally the truth, though; they completely expected to hear explosions!)


notalwaysright.com/tag/police/page/13/

My HS chemistry teacher was explaining to us just how dangerous pure sodium is.  She had found some sodium in the supply cabinet at a school she taught at in South Africa, and decided to use a tiny bit of it in a display experiment.  She burned the lab to the ground, and had badly burned forearms from the fire.  The older the sample, the more chance it's unstable.

She made it a policy to inspect every chemistry lab supply cabinet for dangerous chemicals.  She found sodium in my school's cabinet, and convinced the school to remove it.  No idea how you safely dispose of it, though.