jelloshots4all
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Post by jelloshots4all on Jun 12, 2020 22:26:15 GMT -5
My daughter, her friends, and their moms and I are very close friends. So we are pretty open on every discussion. We all know 20 yr olds away at college are going to do things we don't know about cuz none of them are angels, nor were we.
So my daughter and her friends were over tonight and had a really good convo about pot. I did it when I was in college, it's now legalized in many states, is it worse than alcohol?
What are your thoughts? How would/do you address it with your kids?
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Jun 12, 2020 23:13:44 GMT -5
We have always talked to our boys 24 & 27 about anything and everything . They both drink alcohol but not much . They both have tried pot and don’t really like it . I have only smoked pot once , last year , not a fan . Tried edibles a few years ago after a major surgery for the first time in my life . I do like them . I don’t use them very often however . My DH does smoke here and there . We do have a “goody” box filled with weed , oils , edibles , etc .
I am one who believes we should tell our kids what we’ve tried / experienced. They need to know we are not perfect . 🤷♀️ I think as long as you can and do have a good relationship with your kids , they will always feel they can talk to you .
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 13, 2020 5:53:31 GMT -5
I smoked pot on occasion in college but it never really did much for me. I hear the current varieties contain far higher concentrations of THC, so I guess pot could become addictive. Many of the young folks I work with smoke regularly but seem to be able to function and hold down jobs.
We started young discussing various “risky” behaviors with our kids, but at some point, most kids are going to try stuff for themselves. We can only hope and pray that any consequences are mild and short-term. One of my sons learned the hard way that, just because pot is legal in some states, some employers will drug test and fire you for positive test results. That one hurt — it was an amazing summer job opportunity and exactly what he wants to do for a career. Nothing like experiential learning...
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 13, 2020 6:12:44 GMT -5
Son uses it semi regularly for anxiety. It’s not a big deal except it’s illegal here. It’s approved medically for anxiety but it’s challenging to find someone who will prescribe it without wanting to make him try every ssri etc under the sun first. And we rich and white so it’s unlikely it would be horrible if he were arrested for it.
The whole story of illegal pot in this country is pretty much just another chapter in racial oppression. Kind of like illegal abortion had more to do initially with doctors pushing out midwives than anything else. We live a skewed reality on a lot of these things.
I do think 20 is a little late for a first conversation about this.... did any of them mention experiences they already had?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 13, 2020 6:38:51 GMT -5
I've always just told them that I know they're going to do it, just be responsible. No driving after and to be with people they trust. Telling them not to do it just makes them want to do it more. And honestly, I was a serious toker in HS and I turned out pretty ok.
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jelloshots4all
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Post by jelloshots4all on Jun 13, 2020 7:40:40 GMT -5
oped this wasn't the first conversation at 20. We had discussed it before but it came up last night so I thought I would ask. I rarely smoked it in college.
We were talking about our trip to Jamaica a few years ago and the girls wanted to buy some. I know they occasionally do now as I have found some. My daughters boyfriend just graduated college and took a job. He had to take a drug test, but since his company is a national company, they didn't test for pot which I found interesting. My daughter and several friends work hospitality, so no drug test. Another of her friends got a job at an assisted living facility and she was drug tested.
My thoughts are very similar to what all of you stated.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2020 8:32:16 GMT -5
Hmmmm...probably should have this conversation before he turns 18 in a few weeks and heads off to college. I've never touched the stuff myself. Even as a kid I couldn't see the appeal of inhaling smoke of any kind, so never had a cigarette either, so not sure what I could tell him.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 13, 2020 8:34:50 GMT -5
DS knows addiction runs in the family. While I understand for most pot is fine, again, just as the kids have a family history of cancer and high blood pressure, addiction is in there. So, we counsel him to be vigilant with anything that can become addictive-substance and process. Unfortunately, with a 2 and 8 year old in the house, he also knows we must keep it a g-rated, safe house. So, no shit in the house and no driving impaired. Those are my hills to die on. Fortunately, they know better than to try me.
Stupid enough to smoke at work or school. I'll provide a soft place to land but I won't protect you from the consequences. I will say that quite a lot of DSs friends have a large age spread for sibs, which makes birthday parties pretty tame, as the sibs are involved.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 13, 2020 10:01:29 GMT -5
It's legal here and dh vapes. It's been a big topic with bil and sil as I think they're trying to figure out how open to be about it as their kids get older. Our kids know what it is, that its legal and used for medical reasons and just for fun but not for kids, but that they're likely to be approached about it when fairly young. They dont know that dh uses as far as I can tell.
It's expensive though, not like what we got in high school. I smoked a lot then but it was cheap and easy to get. I don't see that either of those will be true so I'm not sure what access will look like for my kids.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 13, 2020 10:50:00 GMT -5
DH smokes for his arthritis. The big thing right now is while it's legal in some states it's not at the federal level.
So if you test positive you can lose out on jobs. My company has been bitching about not finding employees in Colorado because they all test positive.
And even if it's legal federally companies can still choose to screen for it. Nicotine is legal but if I had tested positive the hospital would not have hired me.
So if you choose to smoke that's something you have to consider.
Personally I don't see why toking at night or the weekend is any of their business as long as I am not high on the clock.
Attitudes might change as my kids get older but who knows.
So that's what we focus on and that it's for adults. Otherwise it's treated as no different than if DH smoked cigarettes.
We do discuss addiction like Gira does. The problem isn't the pot it's DHs inability to moderate as an addict. He's better with pot than other stuff he's been on but I've had to push back a few times.
So I stress a lot about knowing your limits and if you are unsure abstain all together.
Personally I don't like how pot makes me feel so I pass.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 13, 2020 11:26:37 GMT -5
Smoking is an absolute no go in this house. TD gets randomly drug tested and a positive test is an immediate firing. It is perfectly understandable, because if he makes a mistake a refinery goes BOOM! So we simply do not risk it.
We live in a state where there are more legal pot shops than Starbucks (which says something for WA). However, my elderly neighbor was having back issues and she broke down and bought some edibles when the pharmaceuticals produced too many side effects. She was nicely surprised as to how well they worked.
Once upon a time, I did imbibe.....back in college. However, I hated the lack of control feeling they gave me, so haven’t smoked in 40 years. I hate the feeling I get with alcohol and narcotics too. I guess that makes lousy potential for addiction.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2020 12:50:56 GMT -5
I told my teenagers, at the time, if they were going to drink or smoke weed to please choose weed.
Glad to see it's legal now in many places and being decriminalized. Especially since the reasons it was criminalized are crazy.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 13, 2020 16:31:40 GMT -5
I have/had the same issue as TD, so nope smoking ever on our property. And I've only ever had a contact high and not much of one at that. However, I would sooner my kids use weed then drink. Alcohol poisoning is a real and dangerous thing, especially for young girls. My DD1 discusses the effects on medications that weed has so is clear to everyone that you MUST disclose its use to a dr. Apparently the amount of anesthetic needed is greatly skewed by pot. Who would have guessed?
Pot is legal in our state. I live just below walkofthepenguinmich
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jun 13, 2020 17:02:05 GMT -5
My daughter, her friends, and their moms and I are very close friends. So we are pretty open on every discussion. We all know 20 yr olds away at college are going to do things we don't know about cuz none of them are angels, nor were we. So my daughter and her friends were over tonight and had a really good convo about pot. I did it when I was in college, it's now legalized in many states, is it worse than alcohol? What are your thoughts? How would/do you address it with your kids? Alcohol is much, much worse.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Jun 13, 2020 17:20:50 GMT -5
My daughter, her friends, and their moms and I are very close friends. So we are pretty open on every discussion. We all know 20 yr olds away at college are going to do things we don't know about cuz none of them are angels, nor were we. So my daughter and her friends were over tonight and had a really good convo about pot. I did it when I was in college, it's now legalized in many states, is it worse than alcohol? What are your thoughts? How would/do you address it with your kids? Alcohol is much, much worse. You do not know that for sure. We haven’t seen the effects of chronic smoking of marijuana on the lungs, because most people do not smoke that much. Only by seeing chronic users will we know the long term effects. It likely is safer than alcohol, by how much we do not know. It should be legalized and studied like any other drug, so we can see its benefits and it’s risks. All anyone is doing right now is guessing and making statements based on their biases. All the illnesses it is approved for have very little convincing data to support it, and they have been approved by legislators and not the fda. Let’s test it like we would any other drug, and see if it has the benefits it’s supporters claim
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 13, 2020 17:58:58 GMT -5
I tried it several times, couldn't get high, but got a crappy low a few days later. BF who were heavy users we're self-absorbed assholes (some from addiction, some for other reasons). My DH is so straight-laced he'd never try it. Hard pass. I'm okay with it being legal, but wouldn't want my boys to try it until they're at least 20, if at all. I think I read that it messes up teenage brains in some way. Although it's legal in my state, just about any decent employer around here will drug test for it. Not worth it.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jun 13, 2020 22:26:35 GMT -5
Alcohol is much, much worse. You do not know that for sure. We haven’t seen the effects of chronic smoking of marijuana on the lungs, because most people do not smoke that much. Only by seeing chronic users will we know the long term effects. It likely is safer than alcohol, by how much we do not know. It should be legalized and studied like any other drug, so we can see its benefits and it’s risks. All anyone is doing right now is guessing and making statements based on their biases. All the illnesses it is approved for have very little convincing data to support it, and they have been approved by legislators and not the fda. Let’s test it like we would any other drug, and see if it has the benefits it’s supporters claim Alcohol can lead to a great deal of violence. It makes some people angry, and belligerent, with loss of self-control. Pot will make you giggle, eat and then go to sleep. Ask any cop who he'd rather deal with. I've seen families utterly destroyed by alcohol.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Jun 13, 2020 22:43:20 GMT -5
You do not know that for sure. We haven’t seen the effects of chronic smoking of marijuana on the lungs, because most people do not smoke that much. Only by seeing chronic users will we know the long term effects. It likely is safer than alcohol, by how much we do not know. It should be legalized and studied like any other drug, so we can see its benefits and it’s risks. All anyone is doing right now is guessing and making statements based on their biases. All the illnesses it is approved for have very little convincing data to support it, and they have been approved by legislators and not the fda. Let’s test it like we would any other drug, and see if it has the benefits it’s supporters claim Alcohol can lead to a great deal of violence. It makes some people angry, and belligerent, with loss of self-control. Pot will make you giggle, eat and then go to sleep. Ask any cop who he'd rather deal with. I've seen families utterly destroyed by alcohol. I do not dispute that alcohol is a huge problem. Have an Icu full of them right now. If marijuana is used in same amounts as alcohol, there is no doubt problems will become evident. When Colorado legalized marijuana, ED visits skyrocketed. The problem is supporters downplay potential risks. Used socially like social drinking, I have no issues with it. Used daily, especially in higher amounts, I believe we will see more significant issues
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2020 22:46:43 GMT -5
You do not know that for sure. We haven’t seen the effects of chronic smoking of marijuana on the lungs, because most people do not smoke that much. Only by seeing chronic users will we know the long term effects. It likely is safer than alcohol, by how much we do not know. It should be legalized and studied like any other drug, so we can see its benefits and it’s risks. All anyone is doing right now is guessing and making statements based on their biases. All the illnesses it is approved for have very little convincing data to support it, and they have been approved by legislators and not the fda. Let’s test it like we would any other drug, and see if it has the benefits it’s supporters claim Alcohol can lead to a great deal of violence. It makes some people angry, and belligerent, with loss of self-control. Pot will make you giggle, eat and then go to sleep. Ask any cop who he'd rather deal with. I've seen families utterly destroyed by alcohol. That says nothing about the long term medical effects though. And, pot can destroy families too.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2020 22:51:51 GMT -5
You do not know that for sure. We haven’t seen the effects of chronic smoking of marijuana on the lungs, because most people do not smoke that much. Only by seeing chronic users will we know the long term effects. It likely is safer than alcohol, by how much we do not know. It should be legalized and studied like any other drug, so we can see its benefits and it’s risks. All anyone is doing right now is guessing and making statements based on their biases. All the illnesses it is approved for have very little convincing data to support it, and they have been approved by legislators and not the fda. Let’s test it like we would any other drug, and see if it has the benefits it’s supporters claim Alcohol can lead to a great deal of violence. It makes some people angry, and belligerent, with loss of self-control. Pot will make you giggle, eat and then go to sleep. Ask any cop who he'd rather deal with. I've seen families utterly destroyed by alcohol. I’m not a police officer, but speaking in general, I’d rather deal with someone that’s smoked some weed, than a drunk. Because I agree that alcohol makes some people act ugly and weed tends to make people mellow. As a matter of fact, I can name several people I work with, that I wish WOULD smoke some weed so they can relax and maybe not be so hateful or at least not so unpleasant to be around.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 13, 2020 23:46:00 GMT -5
I tried it several times, couldn't get high, but got a crappy low a few days later. BF who were heavy users we're self-absorbed assholes (some from addiction, some for other reasons). My DH is so straight-laced he'd never try it. Hard pass. I'm okay with it being legal, but wouldn't want my boys to try it until they're at least 20, if at all. I think I read that it messes up teenage brains in some way. Although it's legal in my state, just about any decent employer around here will drug test for it. Not worth it. I'm sort of similar. Never got high from smoking. The smoke burned my insides like a ************ and I didn't know why people did it. I did vape pens a couple times and still didn't feel different though my friends swore I was high by my eyes. However a couple months ago I had an edible that came via a state it's legal in and HOLY SHIT was that some craziness. Edibles take about an hour or so to kick in and we changed venues and all of a sudden it hit me but my ass forgot I took it and I shit you not thought "holy shit someone drugged me this isn't good WTF am I on" and only remembered 5 seconds before I told my friend I was drugged that I took an edible and started laughing my ass off at forgetting. It also wasn't super pleasant in the venue I was at (and maybe people) but was texting my bff once I got back to the hotel room and having a grand ole time and pretty sure her fiance is having someone bring back edibles once their job starts having them travel again cuz I was so amusing. I've dated an alcoholic and a few that were chronic pot users and I won't ever date either again. Assuming the pot isn't accompanied by other drugs (one rarely did and the other frequently did) it's different than an alcoholic but still not someone I'd want to date, but if it has other drugs it's the same or worse. That said I've started taking CBD recently and OMG is it making me sleep so much better. Like I've seen sleep doctors as tried everything but the you have to take every day drugs like lunesta and they didn't help as much as CBD. I'm trying to figure out the right dose, but so far it's keeping me asleep at least for an hour more if I take it. Also might start taking it when my pain is flaring up and see if that works. As for hypothetical kids...I think I'd lump the two together. Prefer if they waited due to that brain growing thing, but also lean towards responsible use vs bingeing if they're going to do it. Like I was at a party drinking my first weekend of college (and I moved in on either Thurs/Fri due to hurricanes) and probably was around pot not that long after so I'm not going to pretend that wouldn't happen. Though I'm with pulmonary and would like my studies to be run on it
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 14, 2020 7:11:45 GMT -5
Alcohol can lead to a great deal of violence. It makes some people angry, and belligerent, with loss of self-control. Pot will make you giggle, eat and then go to sleep. Ask any cop who he'd rather deal with. I've seen families utterly destroyed by alcohol. That says nothing about the long term medical effects though. And, pot can destroy families too. Same with alcohol. ... which i see is what you said. Cannabis was used medicinally for thousands of years medicinally before it was rebranded as the evil marijuana which will put our white women in danger from black men... when doctors of the day realized they were talking about cannabis they were too late to defend it against illegality and a classification that it Never should have received. Oh. we also lost out on decades of psychedelic research to our detriment... although these should stay medically controlled to a therapeutic environment, they should definitely not have been outlawed and do not deserve the reputation they have received. I've read on pot a lot, just started on psychedelics. Michael Pollan is a great place to start. Botany of Desire has a whole section on marijuana and it is also mentioned some in his Second Nature. (Botany of Desire is just a terrific book all around). His latest deals with psychedelics How to Change Your Mind. Terrific researcher and he reads his own books.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 14, 2020 10:44:41 GMT -5
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 14, 2020 16:23:27 GMT -5
It's legal here. I buy the oil and make cookies with it. Helps DH sleep. I've occasionally smoked it and eaten it in cookies. It stays in the system longer when it's eaten. Also you don't feel the effect for about an hour, so it's easy to think " well, I'll have another", then find too much effect. So I don't care for the edibles. It's easier to control the effect with smoking - but I don't like smoking it. Hurts my throat.
Today's marijuana is stronger than what we had back in the 70's. Much stronger.
My advice would be "be responsible". You don't drink and drive. You don't smoke and drive.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 14, 2020 17:25:53 GMT -5
It was the 70's and in college when I smoked week. I haven't had any since then. I'm guessing it would not be a good idea if it is that much stronger.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 14, 2020 17:45:45 GMT -5
I tried it in the early 00's. My BF back then really wanted to get me stoned. Since trying to smoke on my own didn't work, he tried shotgunning, which he said gives you a big dose. Nothing. I never tried edibles. I might have back then, I just don't care any more.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Jun 14, 2020 18:44:39 GMT -5
My perspective is that I don’t want to work with people who are high any more than I want to work with people who are drunk. Nor do I want to be on the road with drivers who are high any more than I want to be on the road with drunks. Or on an airplane flown by a pot smoking pilot.
Many of us work in jobs that have an element of danger. If something goes wrong, I don’t want to have to rely on someone whose judgement and response is impaired to save my life or rescue me. Ditto for stoned drivers. Keeping yourself safe from drunk drivers is a big enough challenge. Is it really a good idea to add an equal number of high drivers to our roads? Just the person I want behind me as we pull up to a slippery, ice or snow covered intersection, or as I attempt to dodge the accident developing in front of me. During my near 50 years of driving, alert, responsive drivers have pulled my fat out of the fire several times. As have I done for other drivers. Being surrounded by drivers who are not at their best makes driving more dangerous for all of us.
Both alcohol and pot have an adverse impact on an individual’s ability to respond to things going on around them. If you’re under the influence, you’re a hazard to me.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Jun 14, 2020 19:38:15 GMT -5
Many adults who can be responsible with alcohol can also be responsible with THC. Any intoxicant followed by driving is a big NO GO!!
That being said DH and I were just visiting about how we like the local community bus service for times when the party wants to move to a restaurant but no one should be driving.
We live in a state capitol where many law enforcement individuals would lose their jobs after a night out. The bus program is a perfect solution. We use it many times every year. Last fall after DH's car accident, I used the bus whenever I had an "alcohol event". DH could not drive, and I could not risk losing the only driver's license in the house.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 14, 2020 19:39:54 GMT -5
Why would you assume everyone is working and driving high?
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Jun 14, 2020 19:48:00 GMT -5
As far as the conversation with 20 year olds about MJ: Our son was 19 when the talk came down. He began the conversation. DH asked me to go upstairs and grab our pipe. DS had no idea we smoked. He wanted to know how long I had had the pipe. My answer was "longer than I have had you".
Some adults can sample the buffet without causing chaos in the lives of people around them.
Our younger son had a very different reaction. Wanted to know why he wasn't told everything from day one. DH had a high profile job and our younger son had a strong truthful streak.. Sometimes you can't be in the loop your parents are when you are 18. Maturity is a factor, just saying.
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