TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 5, 2020 11:51:29 GMT -5
Don’t be so shocked, I call my mom on the regular; maybe not as often as I should.
But because I watched the George Floyd video again and while it angered me; I couldn’t stop from crying when he called out: Mama! mama!
So I called my mom while I still could, while I still had the chance to. No matter how old we are; in a moment of distress the little kid in us comes out and we want our mother.
So I called my “mama” today; and she answered my call!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 5, 2020 12:24:15 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying.
ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jun 5, 2020 12:52:57 GMT -5
My almost 12 year-old DD asked if she could go to one of the rallies and I said no. I felt really shitty for doing so but my husband is out of town, there's no-one to watch my younger girl, and I was very apprehensive about serious trouble. We're in Atlanta and where I work downtown has been boarded up after all the nearby restaurants were damaged. Even 'our' Target was looted and set on fire and that's less than than two miles from our home.
Anyway, I got a text alert this morning that my neighbourhood is having a "Community Show of Support" for Black Lives Matter this evening. We will be there because I want my girls to know that racism is unacceptable in our family and should be in every family. I think I posted this on the kids thread but a few nights ago I was cuddling with my 7 year old while trying not to cry because I was thinking about all the women I know who are mothers to 7 year old black and brown boys and how frightened they must be for their sons. A friend posted on Facebook one of those "Keep Calm" memes and it read "I can't keep calm. I have a black son".
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 5, 2020 13:15:08 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. This sums up how I have been feeling. People who I knew were racists have confirmed it and others have shown me they are racist.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 5, 2020 13:43:46 GMT -5
My anxiety is through the roof. DS2 has started work where he does every summer. DD2 is moving back to college for summer school and she goes to a big city college. DS2 joins her at that college in the fall. He's tall, buff, and really black. She's tiny, cute as hell and black. I'm beyond nervous.
I hope they call me.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 5, 2020 13:45:50 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. Honestly this has been me in waves since Trump was elected...
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Jun 5, 2020 13:50:48 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. I'm sorry you're distressed. I'm confused on how they may have kept this concealed the past 3-4 years? Unless you don't know them particularly well....
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 5, 2020 13:55:33 GMT -5
Trust me, it's easy to not come up in general 'white' conversation (best way I can describe it, sorry if anyone is offended). I was appalled at how many people quit speaking or speaking nicely to me when I adopted my last 2 kids. Racism is all around still. It's just silent until you are 'one of them'. Or they said really stupid, racist stuff while insisting they weren't racist.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jun 5, 2020 16:11:59 GMT -5
Trust me, it's easy to not come up in general 'white' conversation (best way I can describe it, sorry if anyone is offended). I was appalled at how many people quit speaking or speaking nicely to me when I adopted my last 2 kids. Racism is all around still. It's just silent until you are 'one of them'. Or they said really stupid, racist stuff while insisting they weren't racist. My favourites are something along the lines of "I don't mean to sound racist but..." or "I'm not racist but..." Racism isn't just burning crosses and physically hurting people. It's a lot more prevalent then violence as well as more insidious.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 5, 2020 16:33:15 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. I'm having a hard time with that too.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 5, 2020 16:40:09 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. I'm sorry you're distressed. I'm confused on how they may have kept this concealed the past 3-4 years? Unless you don't know them particularly well.... For some reason this situation makes people be very clear about what side they are on. Or maybe I'm better at recognising the rascism. Or maybe they feel safer expressing their racism I don't know but it's happening.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jun 5, 2020 16:42:58 GMT -5
People we thought that we knew well, we actually didn't. If nothing else, the Trump Administration has allowed people to show their true selves. Facebook has shown us the dark side of some people, when they post something I see as cruel, that they find "funny". Even some family, that I used to respect...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 5, 2020 17:13:21 GMT -5
I encourage everyone I know to read the book White Privilege.
It's not so easy to determine racist vs not racist.
We live in and are products of a society that let's things like Floyd happen.
While you may not be the one to put a knee on someone's neck you still benefit from the society that produced the cop.
It's easy to condemn overt racism and say you're not racist. It's a hell of a lot harder and uncomfortable to examine the more insidious nature of it we're inoculated in from birth.
That's what I'm struggling with. I know my grandmother is racist. I've had enough conversations with her about the topic to know.
It was a lot more eye opening and shocking to listen to DH insist Black Lives Matter needs to include the word "too".
He's not calling mixed race kids names like my grandma does in conversation. But his stance is just as steeped in racism.
It's easy for me to deal with grandma. It's been harder to recognize there is a spectrum and everyone I know, including myself, are on different points along it.
But I have to if society is going to progress.
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jelloshots4all
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Post by jelloshots4all on Jun 5, 2020 17:21:08 GMT -5
I was sitting on the patio of the restaurant my kid work at. I went to buy my daughter lunch and grab a drink. These 2 white women were having lunch and kept saying "those people, black people". My city is very GOP and white. They weren't trying to have a low voiced convo. It took everything I had not to walk over and make a comment. It proved to me that the last 2 weeks have not changed people.
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apple 2
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Post by apple 2 on Jun 5, 2020 17:25:20 GMT -5
Its shocking isn't it? I've been dumbfounded, at a total loss of words because of what I have heard friends and family say. I thought I knew them. The worst was a dear friend I have know most of my life. Starting a sentence with "white lives matter too" " I know what happened to Floyd was wrong but..." There is no but and wow, some people just don't get it. I cant speak to them about this, about how sad I am to see the darkness in their hearts.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 17:37:10 GMT -5
I was sitting on the patio of the restaurant my kid work at. I went to buy my daughter lunch and grab a drink. These 2 white women were having lunch and kept saying "those people, black people". My city is very GOP and white. They weren't trying to have a low voiced convo. It took everything I had not to walk over and make a comment. It proved to me that the last 2 weeks have not changed people.I think that the last 2 weeks didn’t change the racists, but I believe it’s opened a lot of people’s eyes.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 5, 2020 17:45:43 GMT -5
I encourage everyone I know to read the book White Privilege. It's not so easy to determine racist vs not racist. We live in and are products of a society that let's things like Floyd happen. While you may not be the one to put a knee on someone's neck you still benefit from the society that produced the cop. It's easy to condemn overt racism and say you're not racist. It's a hell of a lot harder and uncomfortable to examine the more insidious nature of it we're inoculated in from birth. That's what I'm struggling with. I know my grandmother is racist. I've had enough conversations with her about the topic to know. It was a lot more eye opening and shocking to listen to DH insist Black Lives Matter needs to include the word "too". He's not calling mixed race kids names like my grandma does in conversation. But his stance is just as steeped in racism. It's easy for me to deal with grandma. It's been harder to recognize there is a spectrum and everyone I know, including myself, are on different points along it. But I have to if society is going to progress. To me there is a huge difference beyween choosing racism and just not recognising the stuff I was innoculated with. I can forgive myself (and others)for just not knowing. As Oprah says, when we knew better we did better.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 5, 2020 17:48:20 GMT -5
I'm not crying, you're crying. ETA: There are no words to express how i feel. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and depressed. People I thought were good people are fucking racists shitbags. This sums up how I have been feeling. People who I knew were racists have confirmed it and others have shown me they are racist. I guess the other side of it is how much closer I feel to the people that are fighting racism.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 5, 2020 17:59:59 GMT -5
I encourage everyone I know to read the book White Privilege. It's not so easy to determine racist vs not racist. We live in and are products of a society that let's things like Floyd happen. While you may not be the one to put a knee on someone's neck you still benefit from the society that produced the cop. It's easy to condemn overt racism and say you're not racist. It's a hell of a lot harder and uncomfortable to examine the more insidious nature of it we're inoculated in from birth. That's what I'm struggling with. I know my grandmother is racist. I've had enough conversations with her about the topic to know. It was a lot more eye opening and shocking to listen to DH insist Black Lives Matter needs to include the word "too". He's not calling mixed race kids names like my grandma does in conversation. But his stance is just as steeped in racism. It's easy for me to deal with grandma. It's been harder to recognize there is a spectrum and everyone I know, including myself, are on different points along it. But I have to if society is going to progress. To me there is a huge difference beyween choosing racism and just not recognising the stuff I was innoculated with. I can forgive myself (and others)for just not knowing. As Oprah says, when we knew better we did better. True. What I was trying to say is you can know someone quite well and still not realize that internally there is some racism in there. Especially since it's stressed not to talk about certain subjects in "polite" company and most people are smart enough to keep certain views in certain circles. But the situation right now puts it in the open and since I'm discussing it you might feel more comfortable sharing view you normally wouldn't figuring we'll likely be on the same side. Or you're more combative and feel pressured to dig in regarding your world and say something to me you otherwise wouldn't as you go on the defensive. Then you got your folks who are crawling out from the rocks they've been under emboldened by the hate speech they are hearing from others. The latter is easy to see and avoid. The other two you may go your whole life not knowing if you don't ask. Which most people don't.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jun 5, 2020 18:35:41 GMT -5
I have found that reminding my white women friends about the discrimination that they have faced has made them think about what it is they are saying when they say questionable stuff about people of color.
ADDED: discrimination is part of racism.. and discrimination is a quieter/low key every day kind of thing that people often don't "see".
When I reminded some of the ladies about that anxious/fear about going somewhere alone or about the places they would not go (because it might be "dangerous" to them as a woman) I saw some lights go on in their heads.
When I wondered if during their life time they had been worried about loosing their job because they were getting married or were pregnant... that kind of made them blink.
Those examples aren't quite "racism" but they are examples of discrimination - which is a way of "justifying" keeping people "in their place" based on physical attributes.
I'm hoping my friends stop repeating some of the "catch phrases" they have heard that are responses to People of Color or to the Black Lives Matter movement.
I'd like to think that deep down my friends aren't racists - and that they believe everyone is human and deserves to be treated fairly/justly and with respect. I hope I'm not racist deep down inside. Introspection is sometimes very painful.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jun 5, 2020 18:51:42 GMT -5
It was a lot more eye opening and shocking to listen to DH insist Black Lives Matter needs to include the word "too". I hope readers will go all the way through before reacting, but I think it should too. I don't know what his argument is, but here is mine: Anyone "enlightened" or caring knows exactly what the phrase means. They understand it exactly the way its backers want them too. They are not the problem. Those people are already on the side that is fighting against racism and for equality. They are horrified by the continuing treatment of (especially) black men by police. Civil disobedience such as these protests are done to bring awareness to an issue and to try to change minds so that we can then change laws and/or society. It does no good to appeal to those who already believe as you do. You cannot increase support that way. If, say, 65% of the country believes with you, then appealing to those 65% will leave you with...65%. You have to appeal to the ones who do not yet agree with you, primarily to the undecideds who are not virulently opposed to your beliefs. Not only that, you have to meet them where they are (mentally, emotionally, and philosophically), not where you think they should be. Imagine what the name sounds like to them. It sounds angry, and like a demand. Some will even read it as a demand to put black lives above their own. Now, I will be the first to stipulate that there is a right to be angry for centuries of mistreatment, and that we should be even more angry that there is still such a great distance yet to go after all this time, but again, I am not the one who needs to be convinced or appealed to. Those not on our side, whether they are in fact racist or merely ignorant waiting to be educated, are the ones who need to be reached. We do not reach them by alienating them with language. We appeal to them with different language. Angering them and allowing them to think that something is being taken away from them is not the way to soften their hearts. It is far more likely to harden them. Saying, "Black Lives Matter Too" acknowledges that those people are already possessing of human dignity, but that we are merely saying there should be equality for all of us and that all persons should be due that same dignity. It is an appeal simply to be on the same level as everyone else, and does not sound at all angry or demanding. It is therefore far less likely to alienate the people we need to convince. Target the message to the ones who need to hear it, not to the ones already on your side. Of the previous example, if even one out of seven is persuaded by your approach, you have gone from 65% to 70% support. Isn't that better? Isn't that more likely to lead to a better outcome? I will grant that it may not be as emotionally satisfying as anger, but what really is the goal here? Saying Black Lives Matter Too is a simple change that costs its backers nothing that I can see. Those on that side should understand that it really is the same thing. If it may in the end benefit you to add the word "Too", do it. Why not?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 19:36:13 GMT -5
So many times, so so many times, I've thought that this time things will change. They haven't except for a few things. Pictures don't have to be attached to college applications anymore, and they don't have to be attached to resumes. Black families can buy homes in any neighborhood if they have the money. And oh, yeah, there's no more "move to the back of the bus" or "whites only" signs on drinking fountains or public restrooms.
Remember Ruby Bridges? No? Remember Charlayne Hunter? Hamilton Holmes? The Freedom Riders. Remember them? Everybody remembers Rosa Parks, right?
Those were all a long time ago. They were events that should have changed us. They didn't.
Long after I'm gone, say 50 years from now, will anybody remember what happened in America in June, 2020? If they do, will they wonder why nothing much changed?
Some governor or mayor somewhere will appoint a task force. The task force will appoint committees. The committees will have round table discussions with some folks from the neighborhoods, people they know or who know people they know, not real people who are living hand-to-mouth because they lack education or have lost their jobs or are chronically unemployed. They'll have flip charts and prioritize, serve coffee and cookies, and agree to meet again.
There will be human interest stories on TV, hosted by "personalities" featuring people who are somehow above it all, really. And the killing will go on. The hate will go on. There will be another event of some sort that will be a flash point, and there will be more protests, more riots, more destruction. There will be more people who aren't poor, uneducated, jobless, aren't Black or Asian or Hispanic, who are targeted or who are hurt completely by happenstance.
I'm tired. Worn out. I've cared so much for so long that there's nothing left in me to make me believe there will be any meaningful changes. Nothing more than changes on the surface, just like it's been ever since I can remember. I remember as far back as WWII.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 19:44:39 GMT -5
It was a lot more eye opening and shocking to listen to DH insist Black Lives Matter needs to include the word "too". I hope readers will go all the way through before reacting, but I think it should too. I don't know what his argument is, but here is mine: Anyone "enlightened" or caring knows exactly what the phrase means. They understand it exactly the way its backers want them too. They are not the problem. Those people are already on the side that is fighting against racism and for equality. They are horrified by the continuing treatment of (especially) black men by police. Civil disobedience such as these protests are done to bring awareness to an issue and to try to change minds so that we can then change laws and/or society. It does no good to appeal to those who already believe as you do. You cannot increase support that way. If, say, 65% of the country believes with you, then appealing to those 65% will leave you with...65%. You have to appeal to the ones who do not yet agree with you, primarily to the undecideds who are not virulently opposed to your beliefs. Not only that, you have to meet them where they are (mentally, emotionally, and philosophically), not where you think they should be. Imagine what the name sounds like to them. It sounds angry, and like a demand. Some will even read it as a demand to put black lives above their own. Now, I will be the first to stipulate that there is a right to be angry for centuries of mistreatment, and that we should be even more angry that there is still such a great distance yet to go after all this time, but again, I am not the one who needs to be convinced or appealed to. Those not on our side, whether they are in fact racist or merely ignorant waiting to be educated, are the ones who need to be reached. We do not reach them by alienating them with language. We appeal to them with different language. Angering them and allowing them to think that something is being taken away from them is not the way to soften their hearts. It is far more likely to harden them. Saying, "Black Lives Matter Too" acknowledges that those people are already possessing of human dignity, but that we are merely saying there should be equality for all of us and that all persons should be due that same dignity. It is an appeal simply to be on the same level as everyone else, and does not sound at all angry or demanding. It is therefore far less likely to alienate the people we need to convince. Target the message to the ones who need to hear it, not to the ones already on your side. Of the previous example, if even one out of seven is persuaded by your approach, you have gone from 65% to 70% support. Isn't that better? Isn't that more likely to lead to a better outcome? I will grant that it may not be as emotionally satisfying as anger, but what really is the goal here? Saying Black Lives Matter Too is a simple change that costs its backers nothing that I can see. Those on that side should understand that it really is the same thing. If it may in the end benefit you to add the word "Too", do it. Why not? I’m feeling ornery right now, so I’m going to disagree with you on something. WHY must the movement that is happening now, still cater to the apparently fragile egos of certain people? Saying “Black Lives Matter”....... straight up, no chaser or adverbs..... in no way negates that ALL lives matter. I have 2 children IRL. If 1 of them is in a bad situation, not even of their own making, and I do what I can to help them, does that mean that my other child...... whose life is very different, who isn’t in the kind of crisis the 1st child is in, and never will be...... because I help the child in crisis, does that mean that my other child doesn’t matter to me? I’ll answer loud enough for the people in the back.... Hell no, that’s not what that means. Helping the child in distress and immediate danger, says NOTHING about the child whose life is calmer and less complicated, even though there’s nothing really outstanding about the 2nd child..... they more or less just happened to have the right connections that led to the right opportunities to be “successful”. But they both matter, they’re both someone who is loved, and hopefully loves. Why can’t we have an honest conversation about this shit and stick to the subject, without having to appease the egos of the people that the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD knows have more unearned privileges in this great nation, than many (most?) of the other billions of people in the planet. I’d really like for someone to explain that to me in a way that makes sense. I’ll wait.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Jun 5, 2020 19:45:54 GMT -5
I believe there will be change. It may not be quick and it will not happen all at once, but a lot of the younger generation does not care about the color of people's skin. I have seen this among my friends and with my son and his friends.
I have hope for a better future even though the future may not be here as soon as we want it to.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 5, 2020 19:46:44 GMT -5
There are people who don’t want to know. And more often then not in my experience, they are the ones that claim their Christianity the loudest.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 19:48:16 GMT -5
So many times, so so many times, I've thought that this time things will change. They haven't except for a few things. Pictures don't have to be attached to college applications anymore, and they don't have to be attached to resumes. Black families can buy homes in any neighborhood if they have the money. And oh, yeah, there's no more "move to the back of the bus" or "whites only" signs on drinking fountains or public restrooms. Remember Ruby Bridges? No? Remember Charlayne Hunter? Hamilton Holmes? The Freedom Riders. Remember them? Everybody remembers Rosa Parks, right? Those were all a long time ago. They were events that should have changed us. They didn't. Long after I'm gone, say 50 years from now, will anybody remember what happened in America in June, 2020? If they do, will they wonder why nothing much changed? Some governor or mayor somewhere will appoint a task force. The task force will appoint committees. The committees will have round table discussions with some folks from the neighborhoods, people they know or who know people they know, not real people who are living hand-to-mouth because they lack education or have lost their jobs or are chronically unemployed. They'll have flip charts and prioritize, serve coffee and cookies, and agree to meet again. There will be human interest stories on TV, hosted by "personalities" featuring people who are somehow above it all, really. And the killing will go on. The hate will go on. There will be another event of some sort that will be a flash point, and there will be more protests, more riots, more destruction. There will be more people who aren't poor, uneducated, jobless, aren't Black or Asian or Hispanic, who are targeted or who are hurt completely by happenstance. I'm tired. Worn out. I've cared so much for so long that there's nothing left in me to make me believe there will be any meaningful changes. Nothing more than changes on the surface, just like it's been ever since I can remember. I remember as far back as WWII. Beautifully said! This is exactly the problem and what I'm feeling right now. Until now, I've always looked forward to aging, to seeing the future, to experiencing what might be, whatever that might be, because I truly thought it would be a better thing. I thought the trauma of Vietnam, the civil rights movement, all of that meant something. I've seen too many die, from the Kennedy's to my high school classmates in Vietnam, to Kent State, Iraq, Afghanistan, and so many more. And now my immediate neighbors mourn their family members dying of Covid-19. I too am running out of strength, but not tears.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 5, 2020 19:59:13 GMT -5
I read a good article on CNN that got into the whole "Black Lives Matter. . .too" www.cnn.com/2020/06/05/health/racial-microaggressions-examples-responses-wellness/index.html Utilize metaphors that have been floating around social media, Helsel suggested: When a house is on fire, the fire truck doesn't come and hose water on all the houses on the street saying, "All houses matter." They've come to help the fire that's burning.
Imagine at a funeral that someone is mourning the death of a loved one and you say, "Yeah, but my grandmother died five years ago. All deaths matter." Both scenarios are insensitive to the pain of the people suffering in this moment.
Pretty sure if I went to someone's funeral and said that and then proceeded to also say "You need to include my grandma in your eulogy because her death matters too" I'd get punched in the face. Yet when it comes to black people, women, gay people etc wanting to be able to make a declarative statement about their/our issues suddenly there has to be a bunch of asterisks behind it. Believe me it's well understood that certain lives matter, that's made crystal clear every day of the year, every moment of our lives. It's not their job to soothe your ego. It smacks of white privilege (and straight priviliege, and male privilege and Christian privilege and rich privilege) that you cannot allow a different person have their own moment without getting butt hurt that you weren't included.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 5, 2020 20:00:15 GMT -5
I believe there will be change. It may not be quick and it will not happen all at once, but a lot of the younger generation does not care about the color of people's skin. I have seen this among my friends and with my son and his friends. I have hope for a better future even though the future may not be here as soon as we want it to. Not caring about the color of skin isn't the answer though, and is part of the problem. I think that is why so many people like to think racism doesn't exist.
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Deleted
Joined: Mar 29, 2024 8:14:11 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 20:01:09 GMT -5
For what it's worth, I had an "Oh *^%@%" moment this week. A lot of my "friends" use terms like "woke" but I don't because I don't like labels for me or others. I will say this: I had to go some places this week and I wasn't comfortable with that, partly because of Covid-19. Neighborhoods I don't usually frequent, at the same time that local protests were occurring, mild as they were. I was concerned, worried that I might be targeted because of my skin color and then it was like, "Snap, that's how a lot of folks feel every hour of every day!" Just by being in a strip center, at a storefront, just by being black, just by being white. It was definitely an eye-opening moment for me.
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tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
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Post by tallguy on Jun 5, 2020 20:06:06 GMT -5
I hope readers will go all the way through before reacting, but I think it should too. I don't know what his argument is, but here is mine: Anyone "enlightened" or caring knows exactly what the phrase means. They understand it exactly the way its backers want them too. They are not the problem. Those people are already on the side that is fighting against racism and for equality. They are horrified by the continuing treatment of (especially) black men by police. Civil disobedience such as these protests are done to bring awareness to an issue and to try to change minds so that we can then change laws and/or society. It does no good to appeal to those who already believe as you do. You cannot increase support that way. If, say, 65% of the country believes with you, then appealing to those 65% will leave you with...65%. You have to appeal to the ones who do not yet agree with you, primarily to the undecideds who are not virulently opposed to your beliefs. Not only that, you have to meet them where they are (mentally, emotionally, and philosophically), not where you think they should be. Imagine what the name sounds like to them. It sounds angry, and like a demand. Some will even read it as a demand to put black lives above their own. Now, I will be the first to stipulate that there is a right to be angry for centuries of mistreatment, and that we should be even more angry that there is still such a great distance yet to go after all this time, but again, I am not the one who needs to be convinced or appealed to. Those not on our side, whether they are in fact racist or merely ignorant waiting to be educated, are the ones who need to be reached. We do not reach them by alienating them with language. We appeal to them with different language. Angering them and allowing them to think that something is being taken away from them is not the way to soften their hearts. It is far more likely to harden them. Saying, "Black Lives Matter Too" acknowledges that those people are already possessing of human dignity, but that we are merely saying there should be equality for all of us and that all persons should be due that same dignity. It is an appeal simply to be on the same level as everyone else, and does not sound at all angry or demanding. It is therefore far less likely to alienate the people we need to convince. Target the message to the ones who need to hear it, not to the ones already on your side. Of the previous example, if even one out of seven is persuaded by your approach, you have gone from 65% to 70% support. Isn't that better? Isn't that more likely to lead to a better outcome? I will grant that it may not be as emotionally satisfying as anger, but what really is the goal here? Saying Black Lives Matter Too is a simple change that costs its backers nothing that I can see. Those on that side should understand that it really is the same thing. If it may in the end benefit you to add the word "Too", do it. Why not? I’m feeling ornery right now, so I’m going to disagree with you on something. WHY must the movement that is happening now, still cater to the apparently fragile egos of certain people? Saying “Black Lives Matter”....... straight up, no chaser or adverbs..... in no way negates that ALL lives matter. I have 2 children IRL. If 1 of them is in a bad situation, not even of their own making, and I do what I can to help them, does that mean that my other child...... whose life is very different, who isn’t in the kind of crisis the 1st child is in, and never will be...... because I help the child in crisis, does that mean that my other child doesn’t matter to me? I’ll answer loud enough for the people in the back.... Hell no, that’s not what that means. Helping the child in distress and immediate danger, says NOTHING about the child whose life is calmer and less complicated, even though there’s nothing really outstanding about the 2nd child..... they more or less just happened to have the right connections that led to the right opportunities to be “successful”. But they both matter, they’re both someone who is loved, and hopefully loves. Why can’t we have an honest conversation about this shit and stick to the subject, without having to appease the egos of the people that the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD knows have more unearned privileges in this great nation, than many (most?) of the other billions of people in the planet. I’d really like for someone to explain that to me in a way that makes sense. I’ll wait. Nobody HAS TO cater to anybody. This movement clearly doesn't. What I am saying is that while that may be emotionally satisfying it may not be the most productive option going forward. Of course saying, "Black Lives Matter" doesn't negate that all lives matter, for those who already know that all lives matter. My point was that we cannot win by appealing to ourselves. We win by convincing the other people. If that is best accomplished by not alienating them further, great. If someone is going to suggest that societal change within a nation is best accomplished by violent revolution, well, they are going to have to convince me. And it's going to be a very tough sell. They may win in the end, but at what cost? NOT AT ALL suggesting that either you or BLM are promoting violent revolution. It is simply an example to counter the other option.
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