Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 2, 2020 7:15:08 GMT -5
Lots of carbs! This is why they invented pasta, soups and casseroles. Lots of starch with just enough protein for flavour. Porridge instead of cereal. Good idea, and hide all the good stuff in your room. My MIL was so PISSED that she had to do that the last couple of times my BIL moved back in.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Jun 2, 2020 9:05:32 GMT -5
I think I gained 10 pounds reading this thread.....
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 9:33:42 GMT -5
The USDA publishes an annual chart of average monthly grocery expenses in different areas of the country at 3 different budget levels. I’m on my phone right now and can’t link to it, but Google it and you will see that $1,000/month for 5 in D.C. is not out of line. Also, remember, we’ve all been eating only at home for the past 2 months, so restaurant meals that might not be included in your grocery budget are not being purchased and eaten. Add in Instacart fees and tips and grocery budgets for the past few months are out of whack for most of us. Probably closer to $1,500/month if being honest because I do not include our trips to Costco (those are easily $200-300) and before COVID we spent $1,200 filling up the pantry. Anyway it is cool, we will make it work. Just did not expect our grocery bill to go up that high in such a short time to the point even my co-workers notice I have been grocery shopping more. I like the Aldi’s idea, off tomorrow... may visit them (but just spent $245 on groceries yesterday).
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 9:35:38 GMT -5
He has no job and currently illegal for him to work in the US (the reason for his current legal troubles so not trying to make it worse). How much would it cost for a plane ticket to a place where he could work?
He cannot go anywhere right now since DCIS have his passport and driver’s license. Long story short: he is seeking asylum and needs to go through the process. Immigration courts re-open on June 4th and have been closed for what? 2 months... Until he gets his working papers and social security he cannot work. It will do more harm than good if caught because it is illegal.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 9:39:42 GMT -5
Why is your wife making fish and chicken? Even if she does make two entrees because someone doesn't eat fish (me!, me!), why is there a piece of chicken in addition to his fish? We never had more entrees than people. Four people = four pieces of chicken, four pork chops, four hamburgers, whatever. That is a lot of your problem. As others have said, make sure to have plenty of sides including potatoes, whatever. Even then, though, I wouldn't go overboard. And limit the snacks. If the cookies are all gone in one day, there are no more cookies until next week. That said, I have friends who used to say Boy Chow ought to be available in 25# bags just like Dog Chow. We always have salmon or Sunday and that is what she cooked. We had left over rotisserie chicken from either Friday or Saturday (when I went to Costco) and got 2 rotisserie chicken for dinner and 1 pizza for him for lunch. So dinner was salmon, Israel’s couscous and green beans. Guess he was still hungry afterwards and ate the rotisserie chicken that was left.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 9:42:24 GMT -5
Because 3 months in I am ready to kick my brother out because he is eating me out of a house. I don’t know if it is the boredom or the fact that all he does is sleep and eat in between of watching tv or browsing the net but Damn dude My grocery bill Is now averaging ~$1,000/month. A box of cereal does not last more than 2 days so now I purchase it 3-4 boxes at a time. He is a on SEE-FOOD diet! My wife just sent me a grocery list and when I was done I texted her if she noticed or had a guest how much everything would add up too. Her answer: “I’m sorry it’s nothing exotic just food for us to eat. I gave your brother the biggest piece of fish yet he still had chicken. We have no veggies or meat”. And I just did the grocery shopping last Thursday; and went to Costco Friday. Now I find myself doing 2 grocery trips a week and picking up a few things we may need here and there on some random nights about 3 times a week. A grown man that is hanging out in your home will easily run the grocery bill at 350USD per month. What is else to do in a home. Eating is a past time along with sleeping, internet and TV, how else do you spend you time. I recommend sending your brother to one of those jobs that you said in a previous post that people with papers are not willing to do. It will prove your point. That is the thing: he does not have papers... At least not yet!
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Jun 2, 2020 9:43:06 GMT -5
You’re perfectly within your rights to tell him that the cereal and expensive snacks are off-limits. Or you could do your pocketbook and your waist line a favor by not having that junk in the house in the first place. If you want something sweet, he can get on the Internet, find a recipe, and bake brownies or a cake from scratch, assuming you have the ingredients.
Aldi sells these large containers of plain oatmeal for less than two dollars. I would add some peanut butter for protein flavor, and it would last me a month.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 9:52:32 GMT -5
Will share some ideas with my wife... we have a 3 year toddle so no snacks is not possible since that seems to be all “she” wants to eat now too; snack food for everything. Still working on breaking that habit.
What we have done is basically buy him 1-2 rotisserie chicken every 2-3 days to supplement whatever we buy for dinner ($4.99 rotisserie chicken at my job or Costco, he prefers the Costco one but he does not get to pick.) I buy the cereal when they on sale and stack up and something he can eat that does not need to be cooked (since he is up all night eating and spend the day sleeping).
Was getting him frozen pizzas to help out but those add up quickly if not one sale so stop that. Ice cream I stopped two because he went through 2 things in less than a week. Also he loves fast food, if he had his way he would be having pizza and Burger King all day every day. Unfortunately for him he does Not have a JOB yet so no.
He does help around the house but it is not like there is much for him to do. Water the plants takes 15 minutes; mow the grass I do it but even if he does that is 30 minutes tops. He picks up after himself, wash his dishes, takes max out when asked and clean his personal area.
We are 4 adults and 1 kid crammed into a 1,120 sqft town home and barely what you would consider a lot in DC . Will share some ideas with my wife, maybe more rice, beans and Chicken (keep it simple).
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Jun 2, 2020 9:58:54 GMT -5
There’s no reason why he can’t take over all of the cooking and cleaning. It’s not rocket science. There’s plenty of how to videos on YouTube. And he might as well learn how to cook from scratch. You don’t need to be buying a full-grown adult expensive pre-cooked food. And there’s something to be said for keeping him busy, so he doesn’t pick up bad habits, and making his stay a bit uncomfortable, so he’ll eventually move out.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 10:08:19 GMT -5
There’s no reason why he can’t take over all of the cooking and cleaning. It’s not rocket science. There’s plenty of how to videos on YouTube. And he might as well learn how to cook from scratch. You don’t need to be buying a full-grown adult expensive pre-cooked food. And there’s something to be said for keeping him busy, so he doesn’t pick up bad habits, and making his stay a bit uncomfortable, so he’ll eventually move out. The other 3 adults would like to live so that is a no on him cooking, he can do that when he moves out. He does wash the dishes and iron my clothes (so save me Dry Cleaner money there). He cannot move out even if he wanted to; so I can make his stay at miserable as I want to (wish I wouldn’t, he is my brother after all) and he would have no choice but to stay here. So making him uncomfortable is not the goal.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 10:13:29 GMT -5
Believe me, being with us is not his first choice either. He would rather be on Florida with my cousin like he was for 4 Months last year, living it up and doing his thing... even with my mother in NJ is better because he spends time with my cousins and is never home or our older brother in Philly.
My wife and I are not exactly the hip couple (boring couple actually) and we definitely are past the partying all weekends and nights; and per him do nothing fun. But staying with us beats the alternative which is being deported to Haiti. So until he gets through the “asylum” process and get his papers, we are stuck with each other.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 2, 2020 10:21:50 GMT -5
How much would it cost for a plane ticket to a place where he could work?
He cannot go anywhere right now since DCIS have his passport and driver’s license. Long story short: he is seeking asylum and needs to go through the process. Immigration courts re-open on June 4th and have been closed for what? 2 months... Until he gets his working papers and social security he cannot work. It will do more harm than good if caught because it is illegal. Good luck
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Jun 2, 2020 10:36:59 GMT -5
You might be able to get the chicken to stretch further if you mix it with rice and vegetables when it is brought home.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Jun 2, 2020 13:23:31 GMT -5
There’s no reason why he can’t take over all of the cooking and cleaning. It’s not rocket science. There’s plenty of how to videos on YouTube. And he might as well learn how to cook from scratch. You don’t need to be buying a full-grown adult expensive pre-cooked food. And there’s something to be said for keeping him busy, so he doesn’t pick up bad habits, and making his stay a bit uncomfortable, so he’ll eventually move out. The other 3 adults would like to live so that is a no on him cooking, he can do that when he moves out. He does wash the dishes and iron my clothes (so save me Dry Cleaner money there). He cannot move out even if he wanted to; so I can make his stay at miserable as I want to (wish I wouldn’t, he is my brother after all) and he would have no choice but to stay here. So making him uncomfortable is not the goal. How about teaching him how to cook? Or, giving him the grocery list and asking him to do the grocery shopping. It's easy for a young person to eat their families out of house and home, because they don't really grasp how expensive food can be. Perhaps if he has to assume some responsibility for acquiring groceries he might at least fill up on cheaper items.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 2, 2020 13:53:54 GMT -5
The other 3 adults would like to live so that is a no on him cooking, he can do that when he moves out. He does wash the dishes and iron my clothes (so save me Dry Cleaner money there). He cannot move out even if he wanted to; so I can make his stay at miserable as I want to (wish I wouldn’t, he is my brother after all) and he would have no choice but to stay here. So making him uncomfortable is not the goal. How about teaching him how to cook? Or, giving him the grocery list and asking him to do the grocery shopping. It's easy for a young person to eat their families out of house and home, because they don't really grasp how expensive food can be. Perhaps if he has to assume some responsibility for acquiring groceries he might at least fill up on cheaper items. Good idea but here is the thing: I already work at a grocery store. So I usually do the grocery shopping after work or have a cart set aside and I add my things to it (usually in a cooler) and just check out when I am about to leave work to save on time. So I don’t want to go grocery shopping or take him to go grocery shopping on my days off. He does go with me to Costco at times so he is aware how much we spend there.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jun 2, 2020 14:25:26 GMT -5
Sounds like he needs to learn to budget.
It's something he'll need to learn for whenever he's out on his own.
I get that you work in a grocery store, so you pick up the majority after work for convenience sake. But maybe with those Costco runs - let him be in charge of the shopping list, with constraints: $xxx to spend, need food for 5 individuals * y days * 3 meals. Ok, what is a necessity, what is a want, where do you substitute, where do you cut? Maybe start small - he has $x for snacks. When they run out, they run out. Learn to moderate your intake, or find cheaper snacks so you can buy more. Rinse and repeat with more meals, gradually.
If he's not really responsible for paying for the groceries (because no income now), it's all play money unless you make him responsible (giving him the shopping reins and a budget). Gotta do it carefully, though, because the rest of the family needs to eat, too.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Jun 2, 2020 15:44:52 GMT -5
How much would it cost for a plane ticket to a place where he could work?
He cannot go anywhere right now since DCIS have his passport and driver’s license. Long story short: he is seeking asylum and needs to go through the process. Immigration courts re-open on June 4th and have been closed for what? 2 months... Until he gets his working papers and social security he cannot work. It will do more harm than good if caught because it is illegal. Ouch!!! US Immigration does not mess around with immigration rule breakers. Save your money for a good immigration lawyer.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Jun 2, 2020 15:58:44 GMT -5
The USDA publishes an annual chart of average monthly grocery expenses in different areas of the country at 3 different budget levels. I’m on my phone right now and can’t link to it, but Google it and you will see that $1,000/month for 5 in D.C. is not out of line. Also, remember, we’ve all been eating only at home for the past 2 months, so restaurant meals that might not be included in your grocery budget are not being purchased and eaten. Add in Instacart fees and tips and grocery budgets for the past few months are out of whack for most of us. Probably closer to $1,500/month if being honest because I do not include our trips to Costco (those are easily $200-300) and before COVID we spent $1,200 filling up the pantry. Anyway it is cool, we will make it work. Just did not expect our grocery bill to go up that high in such a short time to the point even my co-workers notice I have been grocery shopping more. I like the Aldi’s idea, off tomorrow... may visit them (but just spent $245 on groceries yesterday). would aldi's be like a competitor to you employer? Do you get employee discount?
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 2, 2020 16:43:33 GMT -5
I have had my 29 yo DD and almost 2 yo DGD staying with me since mid March. They have been “stuck” here due to Covid. I think we are only adding $50 per week to grocery bill. We really eat mostly basic foods, and DD helps a lot with prep and cleaning. Extra money on food has been well worth extended visit with DGD. And she is not contributing $ since she is family and they are military family. She is supposed to return to Germany Friday.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2020 17:57:27 GMT -5
Probably closer to $1,500/month if being honest because I do not include our trips to Costco (those are easily $200-300) and before COVID we spent $1,200 filling up the pantry. Anyway it is cool, we will make it work. Just did not expect our grocery bill to go up that high in such a short time to the point even my co-workers notice I have been grocery shopping more. I like the Aldi’s idea, off tomorrow... may visit them (but just spent $245 on groceries yesterday). would aldi's be like a competitor to you employer? Do you get employee discount? I don't think it works that way with grocery stores. However, I know who the managers of our local grocery stores are . . . mostly because they hang their pictures up. Lol. I'd have to wonder if I saw one of them shopping at a competitor's. Wear dark glasses.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 2, 2020 19:47:37 GMT -5
would aldi's be like a competitor to you employer? Do you get employee discount? I don't think it works that way with grocery stores. However, I know who the managers of our local grocery stores are . . . mostly because they hang their pictures up. Lol. I'd have to wonder if I saw one of them shopping at a competitor's. Wear dark glasses. I was once parked at a Sonic waiting for my meal to come out. Next door to Sonic was a ribs/BBQ restaurant. I watched the owner of the ribs joint leave his building and walk to Sonic to order lunch. I called out to him and said "Tired of BBQ for lunch are ya?". The owner laughed.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jun 3, 2020 8:55:09 GMT -5
How much would it cost for a plane ticket to a place where he could work?
He cannot go anywhere right now since DCIS have his passport and driver’s license. Long story short: he is seeking asylum and needs to go through the process. Immigration courts re-open on June 4th and have been closed for what? 2 months... Until he gets his working papers and social security he cannot work. It will do more harm than good if caught because it is illegal. What are his chances of being approved? I'm an immigrant and I'm friendly with an immigration lawyer (our daughters were in the same class) and last time I spoke with her she said things were getting crazy.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jun 3, 2020 19:14:56 GMT -5
Mexican food is an inexpensive way to eat. The thing is, the same ingredients put together differently taste different.
The basics are: spanish rice, refried beans, tortillas, meat, cheese.
A filling for burritos would be the rice,refried beans, can of drained corn, can of drained tomatoes with browned ground beef and a little cheese rolled in. Some sort of taco sauce.
Enchiladas have the same ingredients but are rolled together, put in a baking dish, covered with Enchilada sauce, baked then cheese and taco sauce added to the top.
Chicken burritos: Shred cooked chicken and combine with yogurt and cheese. Roll into tortillas. This can be cold or heated. If heated, cheese is added to the top. Enchilada sauce can be poured over it also.
I can't find my recipe for Mexican Lasagna. Inaccurately named because Lasagna is a noodle. It makes a huge pot that can be layered with shredded tortilla or as a soup. The recipe might be in the recipe section of this proboards.
Another idea for big food is a baked potato bar that has butter, sour cream, bacon bits, taco sauce, onions.
Other food extenders are meat loaf, scallop potatoes with diced ham, bread pudding. Lasagna. Nachos.
A fast meal is canned chili on top of french fries or tater crowns, topped with cheese. The big can of chili would probably feed your family.
Desserts can be cakes baked at home from mix or scratch. Cobblers that can be made with a cake mix dumped on 2 large cans of peaches or 2 cans pie filling like cherry or apple.
Adding milk, a fruit and vegetable to any of these above will extend the meals.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 3, 2020 19:21:54 GMT -5
Believe me, being with us is not his first choice either. He would rather be on Florida with my cousin like he was for 4 Months last year, living it up and doing his thing... even with my mother in NJ is better because he spends time with my cousins and is never home or our older brother in Philly. My wife and I are not exactly the hip couple (boring couple actually) and we definitely are past the partying all weekends and nights; and per him do nothing fun. But staying with us beats the alternative which is being deported to Haiti. So until he gets through the “asylum” process and get his papers, we are stuck with each other. A condition of his asylum application is not visiting relatives? I'm confused.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 3, 2020 19:29:29 GMT -5
I think he was released into caiwau's custody and has to remain with him. So I'm not sure he could travel out of state alone while on parole.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 3, 2020 20:10:42 GMT -5
Yeah, it's an issue if he doesn't have his passport.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 3, 2020 21:26:54 GMT -5
Yeah, it's an issue if he doesn't have his passport. Or any other ID too. His DL was taken as well.
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nidena
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Post by nidena on Jun 4, 2020 0:29:35 GMT -5
I only skimmed the comments...
Can you take him with you when you shop? Have him take lead on it at the checkout so he can see everything that rings up.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 4, 2020 7:35:11 GMT -5
With the kids I make them wait 10-15 minutes after a meal before getting more stuff. If it's boredom then by that time they've found something else. If it is hunger I have several healthy things in the house they can choose but they don't get free reign in the kitchen to eat everything in sight.
I also make it clear that if you choose to eat the entire package in one sitting mommy ain't going out to get more. You're done until the next grocery shopping trip which the last few months I've been pushing out for as long as I can.
So that is what I would do. I would create a little space that his snacks only and if he insists he still needs to eat then he can pick from there. Once it's gone it is gone till the next major grocery trip. No 3-4 stops just to keep him supplied with snacks.
He'll adjust just fine. It sounds like he's gotten into the habit of eating for the sake of eating in your house and you guys are enabling him. It happens but it's not impossible to change.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jun 4, 2020 7:44:10 GMT -5
A few ideas.
Stop buying boxed cereal. There is a less expensive kind in bags. Also, old fashioned oatmeal.
Spaghetti is a less expensive meal. Lots of garlic bread.
Macaroni and cheese with 1 lb. hamburger and green beans mixed in. It might take 2 boxes of Kraft dinner. Top with Chunky Pace Picante.
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