Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 26, 2020 13:55:58 GMT -5
Very interesting article. Worth the read. I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyMy French grandmother came to the US to escape the Nazis. What did a box of letters and photographs reveal about the sacrifice she made? When my grandmother died I did not go to her funeral. I was 16 at the time, so it wasn’t that I was too young. Instead, the agreed family line was that I was too sick, in between hospital stays for anorexia. But even if I’d been in the rudest of health I wouldn’t have gone. All my life, I’d avoided my grandmother – why would that change now that she’d died? Of course I loved my Grandma Sala, but I enjoyed her a lot more in theory than in practice. I loved how beautiful she was, and that she was French; having a French grandparent, albeit one who lived in Miami, seemed incredibly exotic when I was growing up in New York. She told me to call her grande-mère, and you’d better believe that I dropped that into conversation with friends at any opportunity, along with references to how “chic” she was, another word I learned from her. And she was chic, incredibly so. While other Jewish grandmothers in Miami wore shapeless shift dresses and garish prints, my grandmother always looked as if she was on her way to a fashion show, even when she was going to the supermarket. Her American husband, my Grandpa Bill, dressed the part of a true Floridian, in his white trousers and pastel golf shirts, and he would sit with us by the pool, letting my sister and I twirl his handlebar moustache. My grandmother, however, would sit alone – under an umbrella, separate from us, reading the French fashion magazines her brothers still sent her from Paris. She wore distinctly French styles – Yves Saint Laurent-like peasant tops, Chanel-esque jackets, mini Dior handbag in her lap. She looked as French as my grandfather looked American, the soft, elegant looks of a Renoir painting, but overlaid with the melancholy of an Edward Hopper. Complete article here: I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic story
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 26, 2020 14:21:44 GMT -5
Wow.
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 26, 2020 14:29:48 GMT -5
What Swamp said X's 2. Thanks for posting this.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Feb 26, 2020 15:22:21 GMT -5
I definitely just pre-ordered the book. wow.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 26, 2020 15:42:19 GMT -5
I just pre ordered the book as well. Wow is right
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 26, 2020 16:24:56 GMT -5
I just placed a "hold" at library. Yep, I know, I'm one of those who still like to have book in hand and get from library since I only buy/purchase books for the little one In fact the book is on order according to library so may be a while before I get it. They only have 3 on order from what I can tell. That's not even one for each branch but I'll get it eventually.
A Tenn for this post!!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 26, 2020 17:19:58 GMT -5
I am glad all of you took the time to read it. Thank you.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 26, 2020 17:46:46 GMT -5
Just found out my library has it on pre-order. I'm first in line to borrow it...
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Post by haapai on Feb 26, 2020 18:04:28 GMT -5
It's a great read. I'm always a sucker for stories that involve someone lying to or betraying someone to get them to leave a place where their life is in danger.
It's the rest of the grandmother's story that has me a bit lost. Why she didn't run back to Paris when her kids were raised? Did she have more children than just the two that she had by the end of the war? Was it the grandchildren that kept her stateside? Did she feel too old to start over? Or was it the sense that doing so would not be supported or approved of by her French family? Is anyone else wondering whether the author knows the name of the jilted fiance but isn't mentioning it?
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 26, 2020 18:08:05 GMT -5
It's a great read. I'm always a sucker for stories that involve someone lying to or betraying someone to get them to leave a place where their life is in danger.
It's the rest of the grandmother's story that has me a bit lost. Why she didn't run back to Paris when her kids were raised? Did she have more children than just the two that she had by the end of the war? Was it the grandchildren that kept her stateside? Did she feel too old to start over? Or was it the sense that doing so would not be supported or approved of by her French family? Is anyone else wondering whether the author knows the name of the jilted fiance but isn't mentioning it?
I cannot speak for her. But I know my roots are where I am close to my family. My children and grandchildren are here. I sometime fantasize about moving and living the life of an expat, but I cant. Maybe she felt she had no one left in Paris or maybe she knew it would have been too painful.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Feb 26, 2020 18:32:18 GMT -5
It's a great read. I'm always a sucker for stories that involve someone lying to or betraying someone to get them to leave a place where their life is in danger.
It's the rest of the grandmother's story that has me a bit lost. Why she didn't run back to Paris when her kids were raised? Did she have more children than just the two that she had by the end of the war? Was it the grandchildren that kept her stateside? Did she feel too old to start over? Or was it the sense that doing so would not be supported or approved of by her French family? Is anyone else wondering whether the author knows the name of the jilted fiance but isn't mentioning it?
Maybe it was the 'times'? The way she was raised? We will probably never know. Reasons only known to her.
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Post by haapai on Feb 26, 2020 19:09:01 GMT -5
I think that the article says that it was "the times" as in the attitudes, not the economy, but I still have trouble wrapping my head around it.
I don't have kids. It's also entirely possible that I am trying to push something from my own childhood out of my mind. It was pretty routine when I was a kid to meet another child's mom that was a whole lot smarter and more dynamic than her husband and she couldn't do anything constructive with that intelligence and drive except use it to manipulate others. <shudder> Yup! I'm definitely running from those memories.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Feb 26, 2020 20:32:43 GMT -5
Definitely wow!
What's sad is, with the rise of anti-Semitism, we could actually see history repeat itself. Will humanity never learn?
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 26, 2020 20:36:38 GMT -5
This story is very interesting. My heart hurts when reading Holocaust stories and the antisemitism that continues.
I have friends who read everything written during this era. My book group got to the point where reading these stories had to stop being recommended or I was leaving. I have heard of other book groups that were depressing their members with too many Holocaust stories.
A woman in my home state wrote a book titled Still. It was about the family attempting to survive and moving around. She is a great speaker.
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steff
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Post by steff on Feb 26, 2020 21:37:12 GMT -5
I also just pre-ordered it. I had a little teary-eyed moment while reading just that little bit, but I am having a cry day today. Thank you so much Tenn for bringing our attention to it. Enough of us have pre-ordered it to have a book club on it. lol
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Feb 26, 2020 21:54:52 GMT -5
It's a great read. I'm always a sucker for stories that involve someone lying to or betraying someone to get them to leave a place where their life is in danger.
It's the rest of the grandmother's story that has me a bit lost. Why she didn't run back to Paris when her kids were raised? Did she have more children than just the two that she had by the end of the war? Was it the grandchildren that kept her stateside? Did she feel too old to start over? Or was it the sense that doing so would not be supported or approved of by her French family? Is anyone else wondering whether the author knows the name of the jilted fiance but isn't mentioning it?
The questions you raised are some of the same ones I had... If I had to hazard a guess as to why she didn't go back to Paris after the kids were raised, I'd go with a combination of "duty, obligation, and time". The duty/obligation of her marriage and possibly of "family". And perhaps the 20 years that she had spent in America - maybe she felt she couldn't navigate how to go back and face the people who had stayed (as in they 'suffered' and she did not - and then she turns up and wants to get back to enjoying the 'good' that she didn't have any history with). That whole sadness thing is what roped me in. The only times people talk about/acknowledge the things that women do/sacrifice for other people (their family) is after they are dead. This article/book is the first time I'm seen it written about/talked about. Men get to be everyday heroes during their lifetime. Women do not.
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steff
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Post by steff on Feb 26, 2020 23:17:47 GMT -5
It's a great read. I'm always a sucker for stories that involve someone lying to or betraying someone to get them to leave a place where their life is in danger.
It's the rest of the grandmother's story that has me a bit lost. Why she didn't run back to Paris when her kids were raised? Did she have more children than just the two that she had by the end of the war? Was it the grandchildren that kept her stateside? Did she feel too old to start over? Or was it the sense that doing so would not be supported or approved of by her French family? Is anyone else wondering whether the author knows the name of the jilted fiance but isn't mentioning it?
The questions you raised are some of the same ones I had... If I had to hazard a guess as to why she didn't go back to Paris after the kids were raised, I'd go with a combination of "duty, obligation, and time". The duty/obligation of her marriage and possibly of "family". And perhaps the 20 years that she had spent in America - maybe she felt she couldn't navigate how to go back and face the people who had stayed (as in they 'suffered' and she did not - and then she turns up and wants to get back to enjoying the 'good' that she didn't have any history with). That whole sadness thing is what roped me in. The only times people talk about/acknowledge the things that women do/sacrifice for other people (their family) is after they are dead. This article/book is the first time I'm seen it written about/talked about. Men get to be everyday heroes during their lifetime. Women do not. This is actually something my brothers & I talk about in regards to our mom. Outside of the 3 of us, most have no real idea of what she went thru to protect us. The sacrifices we saw her make once we had all escaped. The lengths she went to just to teach us how to live, laugh & have fun again all while breaking her back to try and support us. We have made sure that she hears from us that we know & it's not just appreciating it, it's carrying it on with each other. We learned the good, bad & ugly from watching her & what she went thru. It's created a bond that is so strong that it not only amazes other people, it scares anyone that thought they could break it. When we're ever asked why we are still so close (seriously, ridiculously close, it gets noticed) we all say the same thing, "because of mom."
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djAdvocate
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Post by djAdvocate on Feb 27, 2020 14:46:32 GMT -5
my mom is the hero of my life. I would not be who I am without her.
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 18, 2020 14:08:43 GMT -5
Well the book finally came in yesterday at the library (it was on order when I placed a hold) now the library sent out email today saying all branches closed till further notice I know they had to close so will have to wait even longer! Was so looing forward to reading it. Kudos to those who ordered it.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 27, 2020 16:29:56 GMT -5
Update!! Notice that "on hold" ready for pickup. Also noted that books on hold will be held in queue until library reopens. So I at least know that I am No. 1 on hold list!
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dezii
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Post by dezii on Mar 27, 2020 17:27:14 GMT -5
Very interesting article. Worth the read. I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyMy French grandmother came to the US to escape the Nazis. What did a box of letters and photographs reveal about the sacrifice she made? When my grandmother died I did not go to her funeral. I was 16 at the time, so it wasn’t that I was too young. Instead, the agreed family line was that I was too sick, in between hospital stays for anorexia. But even if I’d been in the rudest of health I wouldn’t have gone. All my life, I’d avoided my grandmother – why would that change now that she’d died? Of course I loved my Grandma Sala, but I enjoyed her a lot more in theory than in practice. I loved how beautiful she was, and that she was French; having a French grandparent, albeit one who lived in Miami, seemed incredibly exotic when I was growing up in New York. She told me to call her grande-mère, and you’d better believe that I dropped that into conversation with friends at any opportunity, along with references to how “chic” she was, another word I learned from her. And she was chic, incredibly so. While other Jewish grandmothers in Miami wore shapeless shift dresses and garish prints, my grandmother always looked as if she was on her way to a fashion show, even when she was going to the supermarket. Her American husband, my Grandpa Bill, dressed the part of a true Floridian, in his white trousers and pastel golf shirts, and he would sit with us by the pool, letting my sister and I twirl his handlebar moustache. My grandmother, however, would sit alone – under an umbrella, separate from us, reading the French fashion magazines her brothers still sent her from Paris. She wore distinctly French styles – Yves Saint Laurent-like peasant tops, Chanel-esque jackets, mini Dior handbag in her lap. She looked as French as my grandfather looked American, the soft, elegant looks of a Renoir painting, but overlaid with the melancholy of an Edward Hopper. Complete article here: I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyTenn...what a fascinating story...thanks for the link... PS...disturbing to me, possible because of my being Jewish...according to author, 41% of Americans don't know about Auschwitz
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 27, 2020 17:49:45 GMT -5
Very interesting article. Worth the read. I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyMy French grandmother came to the US to escape the Nazis. What did a box of letters and photographs reveal about the sacrifice she made? When my grandmother died I did not go to her funeral. I was 16 at the time, so it wasn’t that I was too young. Instead, the agreed family line was that I was too sick, in between hospital stays for anorexia. But even if I’d been in the rudest of health I wouldn’t have gone. All my life, I’d avoided my grandmother – why would that change now that she’d died? Of course I loved my Grandma Sala, but I enjoyed her a lot more in theory than in practice. I loved how beautiful she was, and that she was French; having a French grandparent, albeit one who lived in Miami, seemed incredibly exotic when I was growing up in New York. She told me to call her grande-mère, and you’d better believe that I dropped that into conversation with friends at any opportunity, along with references to how “chic” she was, another word I learned from her. And she was chic, incredibly so. While other Jewish grandmothers in Miami wore shapeless shift dresses and garish prints, my grandmother always looked as if she was on her way to a fashion show, even when she was going to the supermarket. Her American husband, my Grandpa Bill, dressed the part of a true Floridian, in his white trousers and pastel golf shirts, and he would sit with us by the pool, letting my sister and I twirl his handlebar moustache. My grandmother, however, would sit alone – under an umbrella, separate from us, reading the French fashion magazines her brothers still sent her from Paris. She wore distinctly French styles – Yves Saint Laurent-like peasant tops, Chanel-esque jackets, mini Dior handbag in her lap. She looked as French as my grandfather looked American, the soft, elegant looks of a Renoir painting, but overlaid with the melancholy of an Edward Hopper. Complete article here: I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyTenn...what a fascinating story...thanks for the link... PS...disturbing to me, possible because of my being Jewish...according to author, 41% of Americans don't know about Auschwitz Dezii-it's not that much better in Europe. Third of Europeans know little or nothing about Holocaust: pollAnti-Semitic stereotypes are widespread in Europe, with more than a quarter of Europeans saying Jews have too much influence in business and finance, according to a poll published Tuesday. According to the CNN/ComRes survey into European attitudes towards Jews, 34 percent of Europeans surveyed said they knew just a little or had never heard of the Holocaust, while 20 percent of French people between the ages of 18 and 34 said they had never heard of the Holocaust. A third of Europeans said Jewish people use the Holocaust to advance their own positions or goals, according to the poll, for which 7,000 people across Europe were surveyed in September. Karen Pollock, chief executive of the U.K. Holocaust Educational Trust, told CNN the poll confirmed "a worrying increase in the number of people who believe traditional anti-Semitic tropes or hold anti-Semitic views, as well as a disappointing lack of knowledge about the Holocaust." Earlier this month French Prime Minister Edouard Philippe said anti-Semitism is on the rise in France, with a jump in anti-Semitic incidents in the first nine months of this year. Although Philippe did not specify how many acts had been committed this year, Le Monde said there had been 311 such incidents in 2017. Complete article here: Third of Europeans know little or nothing about Holocaust: poll
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 27, 2020 18:32:54 GMT -5
Sadly, Tennesseer, it does not surprise me that Europe doesn't know their own history. My Mom had a dear friend who was born & raised in Germany. The children were not taught about the Holocaust. I don't know if the people were embarrassed, or if they were trying to sweep it all under the rug. Truly, that was a part of history that should be taught.
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 27, 2020 18:38:53 GMT -5
I went ahead and bought the book. New books provide me a small sense of happiness right now amidst the anxiety.
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dezii
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Post by dezii on Mar 28, 2020 5:12:32 GMT -5
Sadly, Tennesseer , it does not surprise me that Europe doesn't know their own history. My Mom had a dear friend who was born & raised in Germany. The children were not taught about the Holocaust. I don't know if the people were embarrassed, or if they were trying to sweep it all under the rug. Truly, that was a part of history that should be taught. I wonder how old your Mom's friend is...if that lack of education is still the norm...Germany has been a great supporter of Israel...A few years ago they put up a hugh monument in Berlin acknowledging the Holocaust , plus the Jewish population in Germany now is over a quarter of million...many are Russian, those who did not settle in Israel or the rest of the world...and they are great contributors to the country,. For the most part highly educated ... Granted in some of the northern provinces there seems to be a large right wing movement and anti semetic feelings...also anti refugee too...
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Post by dondub on Mar 28, 2020 11:23:26 GMT -5
Very interesting article. Worth the read. I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyMy French grandmother came to the US to escape the Nazis. What did a box of letters and photographs reveal about the sacrifice she made? When my grandmother died I did not go to her funeral. I was 16 at the time, so it wasn’t that I was too young. Instead, the agreed family line was that I was too sick, in between hospital stays for anorexia. But even if I’d been in the rudest of health I wouldn’t have gone. All my life, I’d avoided my grandmother – why would that change now that she’d died? Of course I loved my Grandma Sala, but I enjoyed her a lot more in theory than in practice. I loved how beautiful she was, and that she was French; having a French grandparent, albeit one who lived in Miami, seemed incredibly exotic when I was growing up in New York. She told me to call her grande-mère, and you’d better believe that I dropped that into conversation with friends at any opportunity, along with references to how “chic” she was, another word I learned from her. And she was chic, incredibly so. While other Jewish grandmothers in Miami wore shapeless shift dresses and garish prints, my grandmother always looked as if she was on her way to a fashion show, even when she was going to the supermarket. Her American husband, my Grandpa Bill, dressed the part of a true Floridian, in his white trousers and pastel golf shirts, and he would sit with us by the pool, letting my sister and I twirl his handlebar moustache. My grandmother, however, would sit alone – under an umbrella, separate from us, reading the French fashion magazines her brothers still sent her from Paris. She wore distinctly French styles – Yves Saint Laurent-like peasant tops, Chanel-esque jackets, mini Dior handbag in her lap. She looked as French as my grandfather looked American, the soft, elegant looks of a Renoir painting, but overlaid with the melancholy of an Edward Hopper. Complete article here: I could never understand my grandmother's sadness – until I learned her tragic storyTenn...what a fascinating story...thanks for the link... PS...disturbing to me, possible because of my being Jewish...according to author, 41% of Americans don't know about Auschwitz Dezii, If it’s any consolation....the Dubettes have been to Dachau, the famous cemetery in Paris with the Holocaust victim section, the Holocaust museum. They both studied the Holocaust in HS. Donnadub’s brother married a Jewish woman and converted and have 4 children. Her sister has a Jewish BF, so we are really a blended family of Jews, gentiles and ex-Catholics. We all have a deep knowledge of the Holocaust.
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 3, 2020 13:49:35 GMT -5
I only have a few pages left to read in the book. It's been a good read, very interesting and you get a different perspective than those you get in Anne Frank's diary or Night. W
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 3, 2020 16:34:11 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015 Thanks for the "review". I'm still hangin' in with the library. I quit buying books some time ago due to storage. When you move and have to box up 15 plus boxes of books after calling friends who read to come get what they want first - it's time to put brakes on purchases! But I did keep some of my favorites!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Apr 6, 2020 13:29:50 GMT -5
my copy arrived last week. I took a half sick day to clear my head - sitting in the sun with a glass of wine, and not thinking about work at all. I'm going to see how far I get into it this afternoon.
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