finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 22, 2020 6:46:04 GMT -5
Having other people prepare meals sounds like an excellent step for all of you. You can unyoke yourself, your friends and family get to help, and your DH can assume more responsibility himself. Your DD11 might enjoy preparing a meal now and then, too.
One thing I learned with my DS's asking his online friends for help with the weight gain thing: be careful to include enough carbohydrates, too, like potatoes and rice. A high protein and fat diet is actually a weight-loss plan that many use to (successfully) lose poundage.
I'm really happy you're going out and also getting some sleep, and that your mother is available for you.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 22, 2020 8:32:24 GMT -5
I think a lot of marriages have those moments. It takes dedication and commitment to work through them. I admire people who have come to a healthy balance of the parent-child/spouse relationships. It's difficult when the line gets moved due to illness or disability.
Kudos to you and to azucena for your willingness to work on it.
Donethat - mind sharing more? Always curious to learn from others experiences. Mine is so tied up in this illness. Buystoys - not to nitpick - and I do appreciate the support - I'm stuck on your word 'moments'. For us, it has been vicious cycles. Finn - I did talk to DH about the weight plan and he agreed but balked when I requested that he consciously make healthy choices with such a limited appetite. I made my point about stepping back on being responsible for his weight for my own mental health so let it go. I agree that moments can sound too short and simple. I guess that it's just a matter of looking at the long view of time. Months can become moments when you do that, yanno? I agree that the cycles are just vicious. It's a roller coaster ride that you just can't get off of.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Feb 22, 2020 12:39:30 GMT -5
And while I appreciate all the compliments and well wishes in this thread as they are helping me keep my spirits up. I feel phony since I havent talked about how much his illness has cost us in our marriage. After he got better, we have had a rough time adjusting back to normal life. I'd been a caregiver for way too long which meant going it alone, making virtually every decision, and this has not played out well with my type a control freak personality. I have a tough time turning it off and treating him as my equal. At the same time, DH is by nature way more carefree and his illness has definitely stunted his personal growth in that by basically missing his 20s, he is kind of stuck there in that mentality with things like dungeons and dragons and an obsessive gaming hobby. It often feels like he chooses these over me and the kids and it has caused a ton of conflict. He values his free time because it was so rare meanwhile I tend to pour my entire self into our family and work and end up empty. As I worked thru therapy and started to be aware of carving out time for myself on a regular basis, we have really bumped heads because it feels like he uses it all up for himself and then some. We have lives thru periods of months at a time feeling like roommates. If we both werent so stubborn I have no doubt we would have divorced a long time ago. But we made a pact day one of our marriage that the d-word is not an option - infidelity or abuse being the exceptions but non-possibilities. We struggle with having a parent-child relationship. He is more than happy to let me take the reins and I easily step into that and it works until it doesnt and one of both of us end up resentful. You didn't need to for us, but it's nice to have permission to discuss it. I have to say, you are a better human being than I am. It seems like you knew what was coming and married him anyway. Maybe you didn't know the extent but you knew he had health issues. I am way too selfish to do that. In case it isn't coming across properly, I'm not being sarcastic. I admire people that can do so much for another human being. No matter what the future holds, you have made his life way better up to this point. Sending you whatever spiritual good will I can.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 22, 2020 21:17:23 GMT -5
And while I appreciate all the compliments and well wishes in this thread as they are helping me keep my spirits up. I feel phony since I havent talked about how much his illness has cost us in our marriage. After he got better, we have had a rough time adjusting back to normal life. I'd been a caregiver for way too long which meant going it alone, making virtually every decision, and this has not played out well with my type a control freak personality. I have a tough time turning it off and treating him as my equal. At the same time, DH is by nature way more carefree and his illness has definitely stunted his personal growth in that by basically missing his 20s, he is kind of stuck there in that mentality with things like dungeons and dragons and an obsessive gaming hobby. It often feels like he chooses these over me and the kids and it has caused a ton of conflict. He values his free time because it was so rare meanwhile I tend to pour my entire self into our family and work and end up empty. As I worked thru therapy and started to be aware of carving out time for myself on a regular basis, we have really bumped heads because it feels like he uses it all up for himself and then some. We have lives thru periods of months at a time feeling like roommates. If we both werent so stubborn I have no doubt we would have divorced a long time ago. But we made a pact day one of our marriage that the d-word is not an option - infidelity or abuse being the exceptions but non-possibilities. We struggle with having a parent-child relationship. He is more than happy to let me take the reins and I easily step into that and it works until it doesnt and one of both of us end up resentful. You didn't need to for us, but it's nice to have permission to discuss it. I have to say, you are a better human being than I am. It seems like you knew what was coming and married him anyway. Maybe you didn't know the extent but you knew he had health issues. I am way too selfish to do that. In case it isn't coming across properly, I'm not being sarcastic. I admire people that can do so much for another human being. No matter what the future holds, you have made his life way better up to this point. Sending you whatever spiritual good will I can. What does any 20 or 21 year old really understand about a chronic illness though? Neither of us had a clue. He was diagnosed about the time we got engaged at age 20 and we married at 21. UC is something that could lie dormant even without medication for years. We were both too naive to know any better and unfortunately he ended up with bad outcomes more than once. Surgery would happen and the doctors would assure us that now things would be better and sometimes they were for a while...until they werent again. That's going to be the worst part after all of this...each of us will be left waiting for the next interruption. Sleeping pill onboard 30 mins ago. Nighty, night.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on Feb 22, 2020 23:32:43 GMT -5
You didn't need to for us, but it's nice to have permission to discuss it. I have to say, you are a better human being than I am. It seems like you knew what was coming and married him anyway. Maybe you didn't know the extent but you knew he had health issues. I am way too selfish to do that. In case it isn't coming across properly, I'm not being sarcastic. I admire people that can do so much for another human being. No matter what the future holds, you have made his life way better up to this point. Sending you whatever spiritual good will I can. What does any 20 or 21 year old really understand about a chronic illness though? Neither of us had a clue. He was diagnosed about the time we got engaged at age 20 and we married at 21. UC is something that could lie dormant even without medication for years. We were both too naive to know any better and unfortunately he ended up with bad outcomes more than once. Surgery would happen and the doctors would assure us that now things would be better and sometimes they were for a while...until they werent again. That's going to be the worst part after all of this...each of us will be left waiting for the next interruption. Sleeping pill onboard 30 mins ago. Nighty, night. Your reality is what people with chronic illness face unfortunately. This is why the current healthcare debate is so frustrating. Through no fault of his own, your husband is ill, and has an incurable, though hopefully manageable disease. Having to navigate or healthcare system can be a full time job. Worrying about paying just adds stress to an already overwhelming situation. Too bad others cannot put themselves into your shoes and have some empathy. You seem to be quite capable of managing this, and have an understanding that you need to care for yourselve. Imagine someone who does not have that ability. That is what we face on a daily basis
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 23, 2020 9:27:25 GMT -5
Exactly my thoughts.
Managing our insurance is way worse this time with this third party vendor in the way. I am documenting all of the problems I have had including comparing to what I experienced in the same situations before without them. Hoping my company chooses to push our insurance to do better.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2020 19:30:08 GMT -5
Donethat - mind sharing more? Always curious to learn from others experiences. Mine is so tied up in this illness.
Buystoys - not to nitpick - and I do appreciate the support - I'm stuck on your word 'moments'. For us, it has been vicious cycles. Finn - I did talk to DH about the weight plan and he agreed but balked when I requested that he consciously make healthy choices with such a limited appetite. I made my point about stepping back on being responsible for his weight for my own mental health so let it go. I agree that moments can sound too short and simple. I guess that it's just a matter of looking at the long view of time. Months can become moments when you do that, yanno? I agree that the cycles are just vicious. It's a roller coaster ride that you just can't get off of. Our experience is partly linked to illness and partly linked to our personalities. DH readily handed the reins of household management off to me early on in our marriage, and my feelings of neediness and my self-perceived need to "earn my keep", tied to my control freak side, set up a perfectly horrible relationship. Flash forward through his multiple cancer scares and his natural aging process (8 years older than me) and we still have this dynamic where I'm needed (and need to be needed) while he's resentful and denying of his need (and I'm resentful of my neediness). We pendulum swing beyond honest conversations and caring, and resentfulness plus anger/fear. He screams that he's hurt because I don't believe and trust him; I'm unable to believe and trust him because of my past history, including our marriage. It ain't pretty but it's ours. We've been married 46 years. I'll own my share of this mess because I know my family dynamic f'd me up long ago.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 24, 2020 10:21:53 GMT -5
Buystoys - I can relate to almost everything you described. Early in our marriage I was making all household, financial, and medical decisions. This last for several years and played into my control freak nature as well as my love language being acts of service so doing those things was how I was bound to show DH love anyway. When DH finally got better - it seemed like he thought, why should I pitch in, clearly she can do it all anyway and hey, she's pretty good at it besides.
We hit a wall, and I said step it up buddy but that resentfulness and anger were already boiling over. Doesn't help that he always seems to take more than his share of free time meaning that when I finally understood self care thru therapy, I felt like I had to claw and carve out time for it and he got resentful.
DH will go thru the spurts of being hurt because he says I don't trust him to do anything right meanwhile I'm left thinking just do something to carry the load already even if you spill some of it. Meanwhile DH's love language is giving gifts which basically mean nothing to me and acts of service ranked last for him so he doesn't see how loved I'd feel if he did the dishes more often - for real, no joke - I'd feel taken care of.
Both of us watched our parents dysfunctional marriages as we grew up, so sometimes we will just look at each other and say no wonder this is so hard, we haven't learned how to be married.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2020 10:29:05 GMT -5
The best suggestion I have is a reading of "Codependent No More".
Many of the problems in marriages, especially those with chronic illness, seem to fit into the codependency category.
I used to think codependency meant buying an alcoholic beer, etc... and it couldn't be further from the truth.
Much of the battle for control isn't actually neurotic control, it's your own need to be codependent.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Feb 24, 2020 13:11:06 GMT -5
Buystoys - I can relate to almost everything you described. Early in our marriage I was making all household, financial, and medical decisions. This last for several years and played into my control freak nature as well as my love language being acts of service so doing those things was how I was bound to show DH love anyway. When DH finally got better - it seemed like he thought, why should I pitch in, clearly she can do it all anyway and hey, she's pretty good at it besides. We hit a wall, and I said step it up buddy but that resentfulness and anger were already boiling over. Doesn't help that he always seems to take more than his share of free time meaning that when I finally understood self care thru therapy, I felt like I had to claw and carve out time for it and he got resentful. DH will go thru the spurts of being hurt because he says I don't trust him to do anything right meanwhile I'm left thinking just do something to carry the load already even if you spill some of it. Meanwhile DH's love language is giving gifts which basically mean nothing to me and acts of service ranked last for him so he doesn't see how loved I'd feel if he did the dishes more often - for real, no joke - I'd feel taken care of.Both of us watched our parents dysfunctional marriages as we grew up, so sometimes we will just look at each other and say no wonder this is so hard, we haven't learned how to be married. It is very important to know not only your own love languages but your partner's as well. Even more important is to communicate those things. It does no good at all to "talk" to them in your love language. You have to talk to them in theirs, and it may take a somewhat difficult conversation to be able to do that: "Honey, I know you enjoy giving me gifts, and I know you think that shows you love me, but I have to tell you that gifts are not important to me. What IS important to me and what DOES show you love me is...." It is hard, no doubt. It is worth it, no doubt.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 25, 2020 10:48:52 GMT -5
Appetite is returning or he's trying to be more conscious about eating since we talked. Wound was noticeably smaller during dressing change yesterday - still weeks from healing - but nice to see it shrinking.
Occurred to me this morning that the only pain pills I've given him this week were for dressing change. So I counted what is left in the bottle. Only 9 pills. He took 12 days to use the first script of 30 and was taking them every 4 to 6 hours around the clock in those first few days home from the hospital as prescribed. That pattern made sense and began to space out until it was before dressing change and some mornings after laying down all night made him sore. The last refill was 2/18 and today is 2/25 so in 7 days he has taken 21 pills only 4-5 of which I've given him. He is up and moving more so it makes sense that he's getting his own, but clearly his usage rate has increased rather than continue to decrease.
Now comes the hard question. Do I ask him about it or do I let it go and make sure that when they run out he isn't prescribed oxy again? This pattern has happened before in past surgery recoveries. I have no doubt that he has an addictive personality; his dad was an alcoholic so there is likely genetic stuff there. In the past this is the point where I would bring it up, it would be an intense conversation and even though he's irritated by it, he watches his intake since he knows I mean business and won't mess around with this stuff. Remember he was on fentanyl from 1/24 to 2/3 and has had oxy since - I have no doubt that puts him at risk for addiction and withdrawal symptoms.
What to do, what to do. Trying to keep in mind what's best for my health/mental status and our relationship long term.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 25, 2020 11:25:51 GMT -5
I was always horribly cognizant of my narcotics use and tried to take them less rather than more. However, when I moved (and they wanted me to move.....a LOT) it hurt more so I took them more regularly. Is he getting at home PT now? I found I was taking meds both before an appointment and afterwards - even though normal living activities were fairly benign and I didn't need as many.
Consider that this is not his only surgery. Were narcotics ever an issue in the past? I was on a steady dose of narcotics from December 11 through the first part of March (I had worked my way off of them, then 2 weeks later had my other hip yanked out and was back on the same dose for another 6 weeks), a combination of morphine, fentanyl, dilaudid and oxy during this time. So longevity on narcotics does not necessarily have to be a problem. My nightmare was not my only surgeries, I had another where I fractured my pelvis and was on them for about 6+ weeks. So past experience can help determine how he deals with it now.
What I would do is let him run out and see what happens. Make sure you have something to replace it available (I'm guessing that NSAIDs are probably out for him, but tylenol?).
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 25, 2020 11:41:50 GMT -5
He has been going to DD11's bball games about every other day. Getting dropped off at the door and picked up again to conserve energy. So yes moving a bit more but he was also doing that last week without taking this many pills.
He won't hear of going to PT so he is still doing his laps around our house 4 times a day as we agreed. Even if I coerce him into starting PT he won't stick with it more than a couple of sessions. Been there, done that. I'm saving my intervention card for his weight loss if it continues.
Previous surgery recovery patterns have been that when we get to think point and I see that he seems to be overusing them, I say something and he begrudgingly cuts back. Once or twice later on, he has told me I was right that it just became habit to take them in part because he's tired of any pain at all which is understandable.
This is why I was trying to get nurse to prescribe something in between oxy and OTC tylenol when we ran out. Instead that turned into a very suspicious conversation where she seemed to think I was drug seeking.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Feb 25, 2020 12:52:02 GMT -5
totally of topic but @shastasnewlife → I love your new handle
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 25, 2020 13:04:57 GMT -5
He has been going to DD11's bball games about every other day. Getting dropped off at the door and picked up again to conserve energy. So yes moving a bit more but he was also doing that last week without taking this many pills. He won't hear of going to PT so he is still doing his laps around our house 4 times a day as we agreed. Even if I coerce him into starting PT he won't stick with it more than a couple of sessions. Been there, done that. I'm saving my intervention card for his weight loss if it continues. Previous surgery recovery patterns have been that when we get to think point and I see that he seems to be overusing them, I say something and he begrudgingly cuts back. Once or twice later on, he has told me I was right that it just became habit to take them in part because he's tired of any pain at all which is understandable. This is why I was trying to get nurse to prescribe something in between oxy and OTC tylenol when we ran out. Instead that turned into a very suspicious conversation where she seemed to think I was drug seeking.Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot. I moderate a hip group for AVN sufferers. and it is either tylenol/NSAIDs or narcotics. The only drug that *might* help is tramadol, but I found it largely useless for my pain. However, it was effective for others. Another idea is a step down to tylenol with codeine? Unfortunately, these days every conversation about pain meds seems to revolve around drug seeking behavior. I am not sure if you address it outright is the correct move or not. The pendulum has swung in the other direction, and those who need them can't get them - or have an honest conversation about pain relief. I have heard some things on my hip groups that have scared the utter crap out of me about having any other surgery.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 25, 2020 15:11:58 GMT -5
Mich - your insights are priceless - thank you!
Tramadol is the one he's used before and doesn't work - thanks for reminding me. Tylenol with codeine is the one that I couldn't remember that I was thinking of to try to ask for next refill.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 25, 2020 17:43:49 GMT -5
Mich - your insights are priceless - thank you! Tramadol is the one he's used before and doesn't work - thanks for reminding me. Tylenol with codeine is the one that I couldn't remember that I was thinking of to try to ask for next refill. I had another idea for this. I suspect that NSAIDs are off of the table because it causes GI upset. However. you can now get diclofenac (called Voltaren) in a cream/gel form and rub into the skin. In Canada, it is available OTC but not yet in the US. You might want to see if this would be worth trying. It is an NSAID, but if there is inflammation in his gut, he might get some relief from using this.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 26, 2020 5:29:57 GMT -5
Meaning it is absorbed thru the skin? Or used in the pain area? Will look it up.
I haven't thought to ask him if he thinks the pain is internal, ie the resected bowel itself. I have been assuming it was the open wound that is causing the pain. Might make a difference how we treat it - I'll ask him.
Still need to get thru the paperwork for our spring break trip cancellation credit card travel insurance claim. Its a lot more work that I expected in part because the Marriott credit card contracts it out to a generic website that seems to want lots of official paperwork without a lot of clear directions.
Forget if I mentioned that I'm also trying to get our stupid mortgage company to recognize our partial payment mid Feb as the split monthly payment that I've had set up all along and had been processing correctly including Jan. I thought maybe they changed their rules but jan statement has a big footnote that says any partial payment will automatically be held in suspense until the rest of the payment is received. Idiots cant even follow their own rules.
3d printer is printing! Weeks ago, I had told the kids that would be a key sign that DH was getting back to his old self. Dd11 totally agreed since it had been running nonstop since he got it for christmas.
I do think his appetite has returned almost to normal based on the last couple of days. That's a weight lifted.
Work projects are in full swing. I really only have a couple of days where I can focus on getting caught up on mundane tasks before I'm needed to jump back in full force and then some. Mid-jan I helped land a big new client for a new project that of course they want a rushed timeline for. It's the type of project that multiple people have referred to as a "career maker" which is a little overwhelming considering the timing. It's going to take significant "overtime" hours which isn't great since I'm so depleted. Going to have to monitor myself carefully.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 26, 2020 5:32:01 GMT -5
Decided to leave the oxy issue alone. 2 to 4 more days before he runs out and at that point I will make sure he gets something else. Even though it seems like a scary risk a few more days won't matter. Our relationship and my mental health is more important.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 26, 2020 5:33:22 GMT -5
Oh and I have a college student coming to clean for 4 hours tomorrow for $80. She helped when we were selling our house and is a good worker. Hooray for me!
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 26, 2020 7:41:11 GMT -5
Please take care of yourself. I'm glad you are getting help with the cleaning. It's too easy to wipe yourself out trying to do it all.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 26, 2020 8:17:57 GMT -5
It sounds like your DH is really on the mend now. Yeah! And glad you're getting housecleaning help. Your job seems to promise a huge suck on your time and focus. Hope you can keep a good balance. The stress of helping your DH, mothering your two girls and handling a demanding job can eat you up.
I really admire with how you've been managing this familial crisis.
On the meds front--Tylenol 3 may be the midway step you're looking for. It's interesting now that I remember this stage with DH. He had been taking 3-4 percocet a day for months then went down to 2 a day. At the lower dose then they seemed more effective. I think his body had adjusted to the higher dose, then reset to the lower frequency had time when there was none in his system. The two, then one a day, then two occasionally went on for another few months, then he didn't ask for more; he had healed enough to really need them only rarely when he overdid walking.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 26, 2020 13:58:42 GMT -5
Meaning it is absorbed thru the skin? Or used in the pain area? Will look it up. I haven't thought to ask him if he thinks the pain is internal, ie the resected bowel itself. I have been assuming it was the open wound that is causing the pain. Might make a difference how we treat it - I'll ask him. It is absorbed through the skin, but you still get a blood level. My tube suggests not to use oral NSAIDs while using them, so while I imagine if you rub it in adjacent areas to the pain it works faster? I picked up a tube when we went to Canada a few weeks ago, but haven't had need to use it myself. I do know that some swear by it though. It gives you another option, because you can alternate Tylenol with NSAIDs to help with pain.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 26, 2020 15:43:43 GMT -5
Five hours of housework and a $60 walmart run for essentials and my young college friend lifted a weight off me. Best part is she is available until May when she graduates and hopefully some company scoops her up. I was on a conference call when she arrived. I let her in and she went straight for the dishes and had finished cleaning the counter when I finished. She cleaned fridge and micro. Swept and mopped roughly 1000 sq feet and just generally picked up as she went. Such a good kid!
Another sign that DH is feeling much better...he told me a package of supplies had been delivered on the porch. Medical supplies have been arriving just about daily. But, no, this was a walmart package and inside was 4 boxes of his beloved fruit snacks LOL.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 27, 2020 14:44:31 GMT -5
Just had our in-home massages this morning - my body feels so light! DH was only able to get a 30 minute chair massage but he said it made a world of difference. We will likely sign up for her monthly contract which will get us each an hour massage for $122/month since she gives 10% off for teachers. Will be good for dealing with my work stress - scheduled self-care. That's a good price particularly since she comes to us meaning if we schedule it well we can have a delicious nap afterward. Didn't work out that way today but we did have our fireplace going and DH lit his hickory-smoked bacon candle for his LOL.
DH counted the pain pills himself today since there are now only 4 left. He says he hasn't taken more than 2 or 3 per day and when I said the math works out to be 3-4 per day he said he didn't think that's what he has been doing. I didn't push it and he said when we call for refills that we should get something lesser. He wants to make sure he saves these 4 for wound changes. I had my friend pick up Tylenol yesterday so I suggested he try 2 of those at other times and he agreed to see if they work well enough. Feeling even better about not making a huge thing of it since he seems to have kinda figured it out himself.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Mar 3, 2020 13:28:56 GMT -5
I'm hitting a wall the last couple of days. As DH gets better, my adrenaline is clearly wearing off and I.AM.TIRED.
Work is super busy, but I called in and said that I needed to sleep a few more hours this morning. That helped and I'm trying not to feel overwhelmed. I'm going into the office tomorrow for the first time since surgery. My boss wants to do my review face to face which is fine; will also help re-establish some normalcy.
DH ran out of pain pills and called in to the dr. He's not sure what they prescribed - they didn't think Tylenol with codeine was strong enough. It's not oxy either though. It must be something controlled because I still have to go physically pick up the script - one more of never ending errands.
Incision is closing rapidly and seems to be hurting more since the sponge likely gets too big pretty quickly. Nurse thinks one more week at most with the wound vac. Still needs to regain energy before he even thinks about going back to work.
He posted about his massage on fb and I got a text from my aunt asking for the contact info. Next thing I know we're gifted with certificates for two more massages. I figured she was asking for herself or friends. Totally got played on that one LOL. Nice to feel the love.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 4, 2020 11:12:33 GMT -5
I've been wondering how you are doing, azucena. Good you got the extra sleep in, and I'm sure it will be good to get into the office. They may have prescribed hydrocodone instead of oxycodone. I think it's considered less strong. I took if for years for migraines, and it did help. Glad the wound is closing, too, and that you have massages on tap. The love is great, isn't it?
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azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,195
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Post by azucena on Mar 4, 2020 11:29:07 GMT -5
Yes, it's hydrocodone. Again, I'm going to choose to stay out of it for my own well-being. I was able to pick it up yesterday.
Took benadryl last night and it did help me sleep better and I wasn't groggy this morning so that may be my new secret weapon.
Had a decent review with my boss. Lots of great comments from my grandboss about how I've really come into my own this past year which is finally what I was feeling too. Raise is 3.5% which isn't as much as I thought which is unfortunate but okay. Sounds like the bucket was limited this year and I got a bigger chunk than most. Bonus is $30k which is better than I was expecting since company paid a higher number of claims this year.
I did make another push to get rid of one of the two higher profile clients that I was assigned in the fall. Boss agreed given the potential health issues that may be hanging over my head. Colleague has handled the client well while I was out of the office so he gets to keep it. This is a huge weight lifted.
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debthaven
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 7, 2015 15:26:39 GMT -5
Posts: 10,322
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Post by debthaven on Mar 4, 2020 15:03:45 GMT -5
I'm so happy that your DH is healing well, that your review went well, and that you're taking care of yourself!
The story about your aunt and the massages brought tears to my eyes. That was so incredibly kind of her (but we know you deserve it).
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azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,195
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Post by azucena on Mar 5, 2020 11:41:54 GMT -5
One day into hydrocodone and he took 7 pills in 24 hours dosage is 1 every 4 hours. Decided that I have to talk to him about it - doesnt seem like i have any other option. My mom suggested only leaving 2 pills in the bottle for him to take and then he has to ask for more if he does need it. What a sucky situation for me to be in particularly when everything else is headed in the right direction.
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