Retire and Do What?

[Deleted]

A couple of my coworkers and I had a conversation about retirement this morning. They both plan to retire in their 60’s. I prefer to retire in my late 50’s. They asked me what would I do to keep from getting bored. I said I can find plenty of things to do besides work. 

I have coworkers with 40 and 45 years of service, and no plans to retire anytime soon. I have a coworker in his 60’s who’s had several strokes in the last few years (at least 3 that I know of) and he doesn’t want to retire because he says all he knows is working. I asked did he not have any hobbies or enjoy tinkering like many men do? No and no.

Even my DBF says he can’t imagine retiring, he’s said he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he didn’t have a job to go to every day.

I know it’s different strokes for different folks, but I just don’t get that kind of thinking. I can understand if a person’s job is something they are passionate about or something they just enjoy doing. That’s not the case with my coworkers. DBF use to enjoy his job, but not so much lately.

So how do you all view retirement? I see it as me having the time and energy to do things I enjoy. Those of you that are retired now, are you bored? What’s life like having your working years behind you?

[NancysSummerSip]

Personally, I cannot wait for retirement. I don't plan to completely stop working; I want to work part time outside the house (so I don't kill DH) and spend more time freelance writing. I still compete a lot (triathlons, running, cycling and swimming) and I would like to train more. I want to find a part time gig I am passionate about for maybe 25 hours a week and then have the rest of the time to write, read, attend a college class or two, travel a bit. DH is retired for seven years now, and he does so little. No real friends, hobbies or interests and it's not good. A brain that is not actively engaged in learning and doing is a brain that is slowly shutting down, in his case. He has no energy or zest anymore, but I cannot force him to get out and do things. It has to be every individual's choice.

I think you can establish a "new normal" when the nine-to-five ends. It is something that requires passion,, commitment and a schedule. I cannot ever imagine sleeping in if I am not working -- too many interesting things to do.

[Deleted]

Feb 1, 2020 20:14:18 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Personally, I cannot wait for retirement. I don't plan to completely stop working; I want to work part time outside the house (so I don't kill DH) and spend more time freelance writing. I still compete a lot (triathlons, running, cycling and swimming) and I would like to train more. I want to find a part time gig I am passionate about for maybe 25 hours a week and then have the rest of the time to write, read, attend a college class or two, travel a bit. DH is retired for seven years now, and he does so little. No real friends, hobbies or interests and it's not good. A brain that is not actively engaged in learning and doing is a brain that is slowly shutting down, in his case. He has no energy or zest anymore, but I cannot force him to get out and do things. It has to be every individual's choice.

I think you can establish a "new normal" when the nine-to-five ends. It is something that requires passion,, commitment and a schedule. I cannot ever imagine sleeping in if I am not working -- too many interesting things to do.

I agree. I don’t want to just be a bump on a log. I hope I’ll still be able to ride a bicycle, I think I’d enjoy exploring new places to ride. I’d be able to go to church on Sunday mornings (I work Sundays) and possibly become more involved. There are lots of things I’m interested in, and while I do have quite a bit of free time now, I’m usually worn out by the end of my work day. 

[Artemis Windsong]

My H. retired at 50.  We had a lot of sports activities we did and traveled quit a bit.  He did work as a consultant sometimes.

I was nervous about finances until we reached social security age.

No boredom here.  We play tennis, golf and pickle ball.  We shoot archery in leagues and tournaments with friends.  We read a lot.  I play billiards.  We have bicycles.  I do gym workouts. 

Constant fun.

And, we have a large extended family to keep up with!

[Anne_in_VA]

I retired last March and haven’t had any problems finding things to do. I pick up two of my grandkids from preschool two days a week, we have lunch and play for the afternoon. I go to lunch with friends at least once a week and sometimes more. A friend who is partially retired and I go shopping, to the movies, or dinner. I garden, and I do a little housework every day along with laundry. I have started exercising more and am heating better. I’ve lost over 20 lbs too.

I don’t miss working at all although I loved my job.

[countrygirl2]

The only thing I wish is I would like to live closer to town. I don't like it out here, knew I wouldn't but thought his mom would manage longer and need our help. Also hubs wanted to be close to her.  Now I'm sorry we did. He will buy another place but I can't find anything worth buying. Very little here for sale of any quality, I keep looking.  Found a nice looking place closer to the city on some land with garages for him but its a manufactured house and neither of us want one of those, not cheap $179k.  There is a stigma attached to them around here, its been on the market quite awhile, it might sell but much cheaper then that.  And I have no idea if we can get what we should out of ours. The mine closing and the power plant closing sure isn't going to help things around here, though some people still have money.

There is another 2 miles from town, but it needs a ton of work and I'm not sure either of us wants to do that much.  We found a nice one, though plain for $106k closer to the city but its still way out to me. Across from a big farmer who was one of my classmates way back when. Doubt we would ever have any interaction and really don't want to.  But its a nice looking house a foreclosure that is rare, in nice condition.

Maybe we will find a nice one from sadly, people losing them, or moving away. Seems that the people that have the beauties are not moving or dying I guess, whoa that was mean, LOL!

That would make it better. I'm not that much of a people person but I would like some neighbors around. At least hubs is willing so that's not an issue. He wasn't before but since I've been having health problems this last year, he has come around.  I would like to do it before we get much older as its a lot of work.

Traveling would be ok, as I'm aging not as into it as I was. When he worked away I did quite a bit and DD and I had a lot of fun.  If it hadn't been for the pets I would have done more.  And also his tax people hounding me constantly over getting stuff in, many times I would come back home to get it done, they were a pain in the a**. He said they did the same to guys overseas and they couldn't do anything about it.  Now I would really have a hard time doing much walking or getting around. I wear down really fast. I sleep in late but if I don't my legs wear out fast, still say its the statins and the shots that did this. At least I'm able to do some on this rental, I really do like working on things like that. I worry about hubs if we don't get more.  He has work here he wants to do a floor at another rental, and I want my hardwood done.  But he will eventually catch up, he will not do well without a new project in queue.

We have just never lived anywhere that I have had a network of friends. I have one dear old friend she and I stay in touch, talk over the phone and online.  She is divorced, spends time with her daughter up north and in Houston. She broke her hip and the last year has had a rough time in rehab and such. She is one of those friends even if we haven't talked for months we just pick up where we left off. At least I have one like that. After being gone from here for 30 years and going to church, just don't fit in.  Thank goodness I enjoy reading.


Yep, we like to keep busy too and that has not be a problem yet.

[dannylion]

The thing about your retirement is that it is yours.  You get to decide what it is, and you get to decide what you do (or don't do) when you are retired.  You don't owe anyone an explanation, and you don't need anyone's approval for the timing or nature of your retirement.  It is possible that people who can't understand what you (or they) would do in retirement have nothing that interests them or have never done anything that has not been planned and directed by someone else.  Trying to explain what you plan to do to someone without the imagination to think of things to do themselves is a waste of time.  They can ask, but you don't owe them an answer.  You don't need their permission.  

[jerseygirl]

I’ve retired from 9 to 5 work and do consulting. I have a PhD and work with small biotech companies putting together data for experimental drugs to get approval to sell, mostly drugs that treat orphan diseases. I work from home for maybe 6 months a year going into offices maybe couple times a month. I find this work intellectually interesting and lucrative. I love to travel but in last 4 months had to resign from most recent position. My disabled sister was in hospital 3 times at same time my husband was in hospital, my dear sister passed away and my husband was in hospital another two times in January. He is recovering but I need to be home to help him and be with all the visiting nurses, physical therapists, etc as well as clearing out my sister’s condo. Hoping in 3 months I’ll be able to go on trip to Hawaii that I had planned with daughter and husband. Hoping I can get some consulting done maybe in September???
I really love a mixture of working and personal time. Complete Retirement is not interesting to me.

[jerseygirl]

Feb 1, 2020 21:54:41 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I’ve retired from 9 to 5 work and do consulting. I have a PhD and work with small biotech companies putting together data for experimental drugs to get approval to sell, mostly drugs that treat orphan diseases. I work from home for maybe 6 months a year going into offices maybe couple times a month. I find this work intellectually interesting and lucrative. I love to travel but in last 4 months had to resign from most recent position. My disabled sister was in hospital 3 times at same time my husband was in hospital, my dear sister passed away and my husband was in hospital another two times in January. He is recovering but I need to be home to help him and be with all the visiting nurses, physical therapists, etc as well as clearing out my sister’s condo. Hoping in 3 months I’ll be able to go on trip to Hawaii that I had planned with daughter and husband. Hoping I can get some consulting done maybe in September???
I really love a mixture of working and personal time. Complete Retirement is not interesting to me.

I’m 78 as of last Wednesday and am still so surprised at how many job offers I receive. I really enjoy challenge of working so why not keep on and not retire completely

[sesfw]

I was sorta forced into retirement at age 62.  Production reduction and at my age, no other jobs available for my outdated skill set.

After about 6 months I found retirement boring, boring, boring.  So I found volunteer work to do.  Meals on Wheels once a week.  Still wasn't enough.  DH retired so we left the snow in Michigan for the sun of AZ.  Here I found more volunteer work and DH took tax classes with H&R, and also classes for the local art museum.

Both of us had severe health issues within a year, so we have straightened up our lifestyle and eating habits.  I now have a part time job in my skill set, and deliver meals once a month.  DH is my meal partner and still does museum stuff.  We belong to 3 separate choirs in town, 2 vocal and 1 hand bell.  He is active in the men's group at church.

We may have 'retired', but hopefully we will never be still.

[justme]

Retirement is freedom. My parents spend 5 months a year at the family cottage and I'm hoping to do the same. I also hope to have enough money to travel elsewhere for the rest of the year. Retirement goal is buying a condo on a cruise ship that just travels the world.

[lynnerself]

I retired along with DH 4 years ago at age 61.  I am a pretty lazy person. Although we do keep busy and travel a lot, I am perfectly content to spend some days doing nothing. Hanging out at the house with books or computer.

We thought we would do some volunteering or part time work. But we've found we don't seem to want to commit to ANY required schedule.

[countrygirl2]

That's me, I don't want a required schedule at all. Even bothers me having massages each Friday.

[jerseygirl]

Daughter gave me a 6 month membership to a gym as birthday present. I’m enjoying aquasize classes very much, then treadmill for 15 min after
Would like to start Zumba but times aren’t convenient. Husband is doing better so I have more free time and more traditional retirement is nice.

[Gardening Grandma]

I LOVE being retired! Other than things that have to be done, I spend my time doing things I love doing.
I get up when I wake up: no alarm. Every day is a weekend.
I am teaching classes at the local genealogy society. Other things I enjoy are travel, cooking, gardening, and photography. There aren’t enough hours in a day.

[tallguy]

So how do you all view retirement?

Best thing I ever did.  I was pretty sure I could go any time after 55, but wasn't psychologically ready to do it yet.  The job itself wasn't that bad, but traffic was getting more and more maddening.  Finally pulled the trigger and asked to go part-time at 56.5.  The company agreed so as not to lose me completely.  Fully retired at 58 after the company sold.  Found a new GF a few months later and spend much of my time with her, including a few months at her winter home in the sun plus other travel.  Pretty much all of my time is free and unstructured to do what I want, or not.  I have enough money for my desired lifestyle plus extras, and am truly happy for the first time in years.  I can't complain a bit.

[vonna]

 dannylion  stated this much better than I can!!

My husband and I retired in our 40's (both military).  We learned quickly to be low key about our retirement status because of all the comments, advice and "since you have nothing to do, would you ....." comments.

To onlookers, I likely lead a very boring life, but to me it is freedom.  My job was quite stressful, and while I mostly enjoyed the challenges, I find I cherish the lack of work stress much more.

Now family medical issues have taken over my life, and I honestly don't know how I would be able to cope if I was not retired.

[azucena]

I am planning and saving to have the option to retire at 60. I'd be willing to provide childcare for potential grandkids. I will also volunteer to help kids learn to read. I loved that phase with my daughters and spent hours reading with them. I seem to have a knack for teaching them how to sound things out and I would love to give a few lower income kids a shot at being good readers thereby setting them up for educational success. I would also love to tutor math. I'll have no trouble filling my time.

[Deleted]

One week elapsed between my deciding to quit and my last day in the office, so I didn't really think it through, other than the financial side.  It's been wonderful.

First of all, volunteer work can take up ALL your time!  I don't let it, but I'm the Secretary for the HOA Board amd for the Garden club, I clean the church once a month, I maintain the church web site and create the newsletter on alternate months, I'm on the Finance Committee... too many things to list and I'd probably forget some. 

I took a class in Geology at the local community college right after I retired- loved it but no longer live near that college and the ones near me are focused on business-related topics.  Been there, done that.  Now I'm taking classes towards a Lay Preaching License- have completed 4 out of 6 needed.  

I work out in the gym every day, I have endless "vacation days" to travel and visit family, I read, I spend a lot of time on Internet discussion boards.  You have to work out your own mix of relaxing, learning, working and doing good works.

[Tennesseer]

I joined a two-year-old company in 1975 when I was twenty-three.  I thought I would work there for several years and then move on.  I stayed for thirty years.  It was a good fit for me.

When I was fifty-two the company wanted to reduce some of their exempt non-management and lower/middle management employees.   They offered a very attractive buy out.  Depending on the employee's age and years of service with the company, it offered either cash or an enhanced traditional pension which one could begin collecting immediately.   I met all the requirements for the early pension.    I took it.

For anyone who was taking the buyout, they  had to be gone by the end of the following month once notified their request had been approved.  A few of us were asked to stay until the end of the fiscal year which was eight months away to work on special projects.  I stayed.

I had eight months to adjust to the idea I was going to leave the company and retire.  I was fifty-three.  My last week of work I taught HR practices to new managers.  At the end of the week, I let the managers out early (as was practice) so they could catch their flights home.  Once the managers left the classroom, I gathered up all the training tools, put them in the room's storage closet, and walked out the door.

I could have continued working in the HR field but declined the offers.  I didn't want to work any more.  I could live off my pension.  I enjoy not working.

Someone posted a meme which said a retiree's week consists of six saturdays and one sunday.  It's true.  A retiree can do stuff when they want to do stuff.  No rush for most things.  I like that-it works for me.

[Anne_in_VA]

Yes, I like being able to shop anytime the stores aren’t busy, do laundry any time/day, etc. and I don’t have to do everything on the weekend. I surely don’t miss having to do things on the weekend, every weekend.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 2, 2020 10:38:50 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

Yes, I like being able to shop anytime the stores aren’t busy, do laundry any time/day, etc. and I don’t have to do everything on the weekend. I surely don’t miss having to do things on the weekend, every weekend.

A friend of mine used to tell me because I was retired I should do my food shopping during the work week and stay out of the food stores on weekends. Less crowded for those who worked Monday through Friday.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I'd work part time right now if it were an option. I mean, this is America, so technically it is an option; that's a different discussion though. 

I think I'd teach a class or two at a community college, and I'd read a lot. As PC mentioned, I'd also become more involved in church. 

DH insists he'll have some type of job in his retirement from his career. He is the type who can't imagine full retirement, but he also does want to soon stop working at the level he's currently working. 

My BIL retired two years ago from a career in law enforcement. As a Tier 1 public employee, his pension became more than his paycheck, so he didn't see the point in continuing to work full time. He has two volunteer gigs, plus he teaches at the state police academy a few days per month. He loves retirement. 

[empress of self-improvement]

If you're my DH and forced into medical retirement, you spend all day sitting in a wheelchair in front of the tv while watching stuff on your phone. Then follow your wife around to show her crap she doesn't give two shits about.

I'm not retiring until he kicks the bucket, if possible, because he already drives me up a wall and I've already experienced what it is like with both of us home 24/7 during my periods of unemployment. Thanks but no thanks. I want to go into wildlife rehabilitation when I retire. I want bats and skunks. I like bats and skunks. They will keep the family away!

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Feb 1, 2020 21:54:41 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I’ve retired from 9 to 5 work and do consulting. I have a PhD and work with small biotech companies putting together data for experimental drugs to get approval to sell, mostly drugs that treat orphan diseases. I work from home for maybe 6 months a year going into offices maybe couple times a month. I find this work intellectually interesting and lucrative. I love to travel but in last 4 months had to resign from most recent position. My disabled sister was in hospital 3 times at same time my husband was in hospital, my dear sister passed away and my husband was in hospital another two times in January. He is recovering but I need to be home to help him and be with all the visiting nurses, physical therapists, etc as well as clearing out my sister’s condo. Hoping in 3 months I’ll be able to go on trip to Hawaii that I had planned with daughter and husband. Hoping I can get some consulting done maybe in September
I really love a mixture of working and personal time. Complete Retirement is not interesting to me.

This is what I want to do. I have two clients I'm working with on the side right now. My only hesitation on a new job I'm interviewing with is if I have to give up my side gig - which I think is likely a yes - I'll see how this progresses. 

[weltschmerz]

I retired about 2 years ago. I'm not bored yet. I go to museums, movies, lectures, Tai Chi classes, yoga, dinners out, live shows, do some volunteer work at the food depot, paint and sketch, go for long walks and cook.  Summers are busier, as I go to the Laurentians and Lanaudiere to engage in some swimming, boating, kayaking, canoeing and fishing.  Then there are all the festivals in summer, the Jazz festival, the circus festival, the fireworks festival, the Just For Laughs festival and so much more. There's so much to do. 
I'm enjoying myself.

[lynnerself]

The only problem I have with "everyday is Saturday" is that everything can be put off another day. When I was working things had to get done on my day off. Now I can say "I'll get to it tomorrow."

[thyme4change]

I have never been good at self motivation. I always needed a schedule, and someone counting on me to do something, or be somewhere. When I retire, I will have to grow beyond that thinking. I assume there are counselors/therapists out there that work specifically we people who are retiring and need to learn a new way to self manage.

I also have never been super passionate about lots of things. So, it isn't like I have a list of things that I want to do, and so i know where to start upon my last day. I do have some things I really want to do, but they are expensive and mostly travel related, which I don't really want to do alone.

I think in a few years I will have more access to people who are retired, and I will have some role models (and company) to help ease me in.

So, although I do have retirement on my mind, I can sort of understand the reasons people may not feel overly equipped to tackle retirement. There are many, many people who retire and never find their new way. So, they just sit around and watch Fox news and complain about the metric system until they die.

[Tiny]

I overheard some co-workers talking about another co-worker who was planning a "stay-cation" which evolved into a story about a friend of a friend of friend of one of the talking together coworkers, who took a 6 week sabbatical from work.    The jist of the talk was "what are they going to do! I don't want to say home for a week much less 6 weeks... what are they going to be doing??" all in horrified tones of voice.      I feel bad for them.   

I was like "OMG! I'd love to be home for a week (or 6 weeks or retired!) I've got places to go, people to see, things to do that do NOT involve my job or people at my job.   I've got hobbies and new things I'd like to try (all relatively inexpensive and/or already part of my "budget/spending plan" for now while I'm working and once I'm retired. )   I've got family and friends I'd like to do things with (it's hard because some work fulltime, some part time, some retired... it's hard for me to find an "opening" because I'm working 5 days a week)  There are lots of places I'd like to go (even if I went alone) that are local-ish.    

A long time ago, I decided that my "job" was a means to an end - retirement (hopefully early) and that it was more important to have hobbies, friends, things to do/places to go, and to spend time with family.   My job is important to me (I like it most of the time, I get more than a pay check from it) but it's not EVERYTHING to me.       FWIW:  I went thru a lot of soul searching/existential crisis a long time ago.  Kind of like a pre-middle age crisis?   I think everyone has those moments.  Some people have them when they are young - some when they are old.  I think it's helpful to have it while you are younger - so you can act on the "answers" you find during it.  It also makes it easier the next time an existential crisis happens.   

[Rukh O'Rorke]

I wonder if these people who can't imagine not having a job don't have any friends or family around?

Alternately - maybe just jealous - they can't afford a sabbatical - and like to make it out to be weird/bad?