laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jan 30, 2020 11:14:57 GMT -5
Kobe's death got me thinking. He accomplished quite a bit in his life but he died very young, only 42.
So if you had a choice, would your rather have success, fame and fortune and die young, or an average life (not terrible, just average with pretty good health and middle class income) and live to 90?
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jan 30, 2020 11:19:43 GMT -5
Kobe's death got me thinking. He accomplished quite a bit in his life but he died very young, only 42. So if you had a choice, would your rather have success, fame and fortune and die young, or an average life (not terrible, just average with pretty good health and middle class income) and live to 90? Well, idk - I never wanted to die and leave my minor children to be raised by someone else, and he did leave minor children behind. I believe he had a 2 year old. I am well past 43, and my kids are both adults...now I worry about outliving me ability to care for myself and my own needs. I don't want to be a burden on my kids. I really don't think I want to live to see 90.
On the other hand, my Mom is 81, and mentally sharp. I hope she is still around in 10 years.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jan 30, 2020 11:25:06 GMT -5
I think it depends on when you would ask me. When I was younger (teens/20s) I definitely would have preferred to burn out fast. Now that I'm in my 30s and have a family I wouldn't trade that for any fame or fortune.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jan 30, 2020 11:25:07 GMT -5
What's the point of achieving fame and fortune if you're then dead and can't enjoy it? So, my vote is to live an extraordinary, average life raising my kids, traveling, experiencing new things, and dying after a short illness while I'm still mentally sharp and physically capable at 90.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 30, 2020 11:27:41 GMT -5
What's the point of achieving fame and fortune if you're then dead and can't enjoy it? So, my vote is to live an extraordinary, average life raising my kids, traveling, experiencing new things, and dying after a short illness while I'm still mentally sharp and physically capable at 90. except I am aiming for 100 as both my paternal DGM and DGGM missed that milestone by mere months and as the oldest female on that side of the family I feel I need to break that barrier
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 30, 2020 11:30:21 GMT -5
The very vast majority of people in the scheme of things are 'average'. 'We'/they are known to their families and friends. That is enough.
Do I personally want to live until I'm ninety? Depends. I don't want to outlive my family and friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2020 11:37:01 GMT -5
Fame and fortune sound absolutely awful to me (well, not the fortune part). I have no desire to live the kind of life he did in the spotlight, so give me 90 and a non-violent/terrifying death, surrounded by my kids and grandkids.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jan 30, 2020 12:43:31 GMT -5
I'd rather have success and fame and die young, as long as it doesn't involve me leaving behind kids.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jan 30, 2020 12:53:35 GMT -5
I'd rather have success and fame and die young, as long as it doesn't involve me leaving behind kids. Even if you leave your kids with a really good money and well taken care of financially?
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jan 30, 2020 13:02:26 GMT -5
I'd rather have success and fame and die young, as long as it doesn't involve me leaving behind kids. Even if you leave your kids with a really good money and well taken care of financially? Yes, having kids is a selfish act in itself. People have kids because they want kids and it brings them joy. I see no reason to have kids just to leave them behind. If I'm going to leave behind really good money I could just leave it to some cause other than my own kids. It also means that kind of "looking back" beyond death, I would have rather had an average life spending decades with my kids than burning out younger knowing I missed out on that time with them (but if i don't have kids, there's nothing to really miss out on in that respect).
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 30, 2020 13:04:34 GMT -5
After watching my mother die at 90 and my father at 95, I have absolutely no desire to live to be 90.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2020 13:16:23 GMT -5
After watching my mother die at 90 and my father at 95, I have absolutely no desire to live to be 90. I definitely wouldn't want to be in poor health for years and live that long, but my neighbor lady was chasing coyotes out of my yard with a shotgun a few months before she just didn't wake up from a nap in her mid-90's. I get a little angry because apparently she had a bad heart valve and they told her she needed it replaced and she refused. She could still be with us had she done that.
My great-grandmother died just a few months short of 101 and up until 99 she lived at home on her own in a regular non-senior/assisted living apartment and was in great shape. My grandmother was 93 and was doing fine and living in her own house until her 3rd husband passed away. That was too much for her, and she died less than 2 weeks later after about 4 days in the nursing home.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 30, 2020 13:18:57 GMT -5
The very vast majority of people in the scheme of things are 'average'. 'We'/they are known to their families and friends. That is enough. Do I personally want to live until I'm ninety? Depends. I don't want to outlive my family and friends. No problem in my family: I set a rule for my siblings → ladies first and then by age. I am the oldest of the girls and I bumped my (older) brothers to the bottom of the list
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 30, 2020 13:46:59 GMT -5
Even if you leave your kids with a really good money and well taken care of financially? Yes, having kids is a selfish act in itself. People have kids because they want kids and it brings them joy. I agree having kids is selfish. I don't think people always have kids because they want them and it always doesn't bring them joy.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 30, 2020 13:50:52 GMT -5
Kobe's death got me thinking. He accomplished quite a bit in his life but he died very young, only 42. So if you had a choice, would your rather have success, fame and fortune and die young, or an average life (not terrible, just average with pretty good health and middle class income) and live to 90? If I get to do things like live hard and fast and die young, and everyone forgets the bad shit I do immediately upon my death...hell, yeah, I'd take that over leading a good life where I do everything right. Being bad is a hell of a lot more fun.
ETA: And it doesn't go just for Kobe. I was pretty sad MLK was a philanderer, too. Turns out, maybe these great men aren't always successful.. ETAA: It's also great that it worked out for their marriages. This is admittedly through my lens....and in my world words mean something.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 30, 2020 16:46:42 GMT -5
After watching my mother die at 90 and my father at 95, I have absolutely no desire to live to be 90. I definitely wouldn't want to be in poor health for years and live that long, but my neighbor lady was chasing coyotes out of my yard with a shotgun a few months before she just didn't wake up from a nap in her mid-90's. I get a little angry because apparently she had a bad heart valve and they told her she needed it replaced and she refused. She could still be with us had she done that.
My mom refused to have a heart valve replacement. But she was not given even a 50% chance of surviving the surgery and the rehab felt like it was something she could not do. She had been very sick for several years at that point and she was done.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2020 17:11:28 GMT -5
This morning, my coworkers were saying that Kobe had said he was ok with dying young, he wanted to die being a legend. They also said that he said this when he was very young.
I don’t care about fame, fortune would be fine though. But not if it means I die an “untimely” death. I find myself saying the same prayer my Grandmother use to say she prayed “please let me live long enough to at least see my grandbabies grow up”. And she did. She had great-grandkids and a great-great-grandson when she died.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 30, 2020 17:19:58 GMT -5
After watching my mother die at 90 and my father at 95, I have absolutely no desire to live to be 90. I do agree with that sentiment. But then I pull back a bit when I remember how old I am today and 90 plus isn't that far away in my future. I want more time to see how the world turns out. I want more time to know what science will discover in the future.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Jan 30, 2020 20:33:47 GMT -5
I want to live a happy, healthy (physical and mental) life until it's my time to leave.
I have no desire for fame and fortune, just enough to pay my bills and leave something for DD.
My father lived to 94, his father 92. Both were tired. Mom live to 85 but she had COPD. I think I have a very good chance to see my 90s.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jan 31, 2020 8:38:19 GMT -5
This morning, my coworkers were saying that Kobe had said he was ok with dying young, he wanted to die being a legend. They also said that he said this when he was very young.I don’t care about fame, fortune would be fine though. But not if it means I die an “untimely” death. I find myself saying the same prayer my Grandmother use to say she prayed “please let me live long enough to at least see my grandbabies grow up”. And she did. She had great-grandkids and a great-great-grandson when she died. I feel like this is a pretty common sentiment among young folks. I'm far from famous/rich/legend, and honestly right up until the point I had kids I would have said "whenever I die is fine, it's no big deal, you just cease to be, I'd just prefer it not be drawn out and painful, but I can die tomorrow and it's fine". Now that I have kids it's like being in a movie theater where an amazing movie has started...I know I can't stay for the entire thing but I want to stay as long as I can to see as much of the movie as possible.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2020 8:42:32 GMT -5
I don’t care about fame, fortune would be fine though. But not if it means I die an “untimely” death. I find myself saying the same prayer my Grandmother use to say she prayed “please let me live long enough to at least see my grandbabies grow up”. And she did. She had great-grandkids and a great-great-grandson when she died. Not interested in fame at all- you live in a fish bowl, are followed by papparazzi and have people bugging you for selfies everywhere you go. James Dean once said, "Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse". I'm almost 67 so I'm beyond the "die young" part anymore and now I want to be around for my grandchildren for as long as I can and for as long as I have a good quality of life. We'll see what the future holds. DH at age 78 and my mother at age 85 both chose hospice care rather than undergo aggressive treatments for their cancer (DH had acute myeloid leukemia, Mom had a recurrence of breast cancer). Treatment had little chance of success and 100% chance of making their last months miserable. It was a wise decision for both.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 31, 2020 9:55:22 GMT -5
I guess I can claim longevity in my family. Mother died at 73 and father was dead at 21 (WWII) That's it for family history.
As for a reply to the question I guess I just think "what does it matter? Either way you are dead"
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