Every once in awhile I really miss this board...

[Firebird]

And then I lose several days in the rabbit hole of old threads!  Ah, my kingdom for the days when I had an easy job and time to post constantly 

It took a long time to get all our ducks in a row (a LONG.EFFING.TIME) but life is pretty good these days.  I finally have an amazing job I absolutely adore, and I volunteer on the side for an organization that supports survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.  Also, I wrote a book which I've been submitting to agents.  (Not expecting anything to actually come of that but I never expected to finish a book in the first place, so I guess you never know!)

Babybird just turned 7, and she's doing great.   DN (Dear Niece, or Denise as she's more commonly known on here  ) moved in with us 2.5 years ago.  She's 15 now and thriving.  So for those of you who were with me during the years of endlessly agonizing over whether to have a second kiddo... I do now, just not in the way I expected.  Life is funny like that.  But I'm really happy at the way everything has turned out.

(And because this is YM, a financial update):  Despite several rounds of unemployment and wicked CC debt, DH and I are finally back on track now.  Paid off the debt and now we have none besides our mortgage, so the current focus is getting our savings back up to snuff.  We're still spending too much on groceries (that is our special albatross that I can't seem to shake) but apart from that I'm reasonably pleased with where we are now.  The two of us finally having decent local jobs is a huge part of the reason we're okay now.  This town, as much as I love it in every other way, is a VERY difficult place to make a life financially speaking.  I'm hoping that will change as the city grows up some more.  But we did it somehow and in a lot of ways we are living the dream we've had ever since we got together (cue nostalgic music).  I'm grateful every day. 

OKAY YOUR TURN! 
What has everyone been up to lately? Last time I popped on here after a multi-year absence, Hoops and cawiau both had babies! Time is flying lately!  

[hoops902]

2 babies (well 1 baby and 1 3-year old), new house, new job, father died of the human version of "mad cow" disease (which is apparently rare enough that 1.  Doctors never believe it when told.  2.  A visit from the government was necessary to ensure there was no exposure to others to avoid any kind of breakout).  

Financially, sold the house I'd paid for in cash and had renovated, made a good profit considering how cheaply I'd purchased the house a decade prior.  Put only 20% down on the new house and invested the rest in the market which has turned out pretty well.  Getting ready to embark on a house rebuilding/remodel of my parent's home this winter and moving out to their property in the country (plan had been to do that when both kids were out of daycare, but once my father passed my mom won't be able to live there alone, so the timeline has moved up).  

[Firebird]

2 babies (well 1 baby and 1 3-year old), new house, new job, father died of the human version of "mad cow" disease (which is apparently rare enough that 1. Doctors never believe it when told. 2. A visit from the government was necessary to ensure there was no exposure to others to avoid any kind of breakout).


Wow, hoops!  That is a whole lotta life in the last few years.  I'm so sorry about your dad.  

Congratulations on the new little one - boy or girl? 

I semi-remember the house you're talking about, actually - I'm glad it turned out to be the good investment you hoped it would be.  It's really trippy to think about how long some of us have "known" each other. 

[hoops902]

the 3 year old is a girl, the baby is a boy.  

[gs11rmb]

Oct 23, 2019 7:41:24 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

2 babies (well 1 baby and 1 3-year old), new house, new job, father died of the human version of "mad cow" disease (which is apparently rare enough that 1.  Doctors never believe it when told.  2.  A visit from the government was necessary to ensure there was no exposure to others to avoid any kind of breakout).  

Financially, sold the house I'd paid for in cash and had renovated, made a good profit considering how cheaply I'd purchased the house a decade prior.  Put only 20% down on the new house and invested the rest in the market which has turned out pretty well.  Getting ready to embark on a house rebuilding/remodel of my parent's home this winter and moving out to their property in the country (plan had been to do that when both kids were out of daycare, but once my father passed my mom won't be able to live there alone, so the timeline has moved up).  

Creutzfeldt-Jakob?  Growing up in the UK in the 80's "human mad-cow disease" was a real fear and it still occasionally worries me.  I'm sorry if that's what your father died from because it's a truly horrible disease.

[andi9899]

Glad to see you back and that everyone is doing well.

[bobosensei]

Oct 23, 2019 7:49:39 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Oct 23, 2019 7:41:24 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

2 babies (well 1 baby and 1 3-year old), new house, new job, father died of the human version of "mad cow" disease (which is apparently rare enough that 1.  Doctors never believe it when told.  2.  A visit from the government was necessary to ensure there was no exposure to others to avoid any kind of breakout).  

Financially, sold the house I'd paid for in cash and had renovated, made a good profit considering how cheaply I'd purchased the house a decade prior.  Put only 20% down on the new house and invested the rest in the market which has turned out pretty well.  Getting ready to embark on a house rebuilding/remodel of my parent's home this winter and moving out to their property in the country (plan had been to do that when both kids were out of daycare, but once my father passed my mom won't be able to live there alone, so the timeline has moved up).  

Creutzfeldt-Jakob?  Growing up in the UK in the 80's "human mad-cow disease" was a real fear and it still occasionally worries me.  I'm sorry if that's what your father died from because it's a truly horrible disease.

I can't give blood in the US anymore because I lived in Europe so long.  All due to Creutzfield Jakob risk of transmission in the blood.

[hoops902]

Oct 23, 2019 7:49:39 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Oct 23, 2019 7:41:24 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

2 babies (well 1 baby and 1 3-year old), new house, new job, father died of the human version of "mad cow" disease (which is apparently rare enough that 1.  Doctors never believe it when told.  2.  A visit from the government was necessary to ensure there was no exposure to others to avoid any kind of breakout).  

Financially, sold the house I'd paid for in cash and had renovated, made a good profit considering how cheaply I'd purchased the house a decade prior.  Put only 20% down on the new house and invested the rest in the market which has turned out pretty well.  Getting ready to embark on a house rebuilding/remodel of my parent's home this winter and moving out to their property in the country (plan had been to do that when both kids were out of daycare, but once my father passed my mom won't be able to live there alone, so the timeline has moved up).  

Creutzfeldt-Jakob?  Growing up in the UK in the 80's "human mad-cow disease" was a real fear and it still occasionally worries me.  I'm sorry if that's what your father died from because it's a truly horrible disease.

Yes, Creutzfeldt-Jakob

[raeoflyte]

Always good to see you here! I love the pics you post on fb. You all look so happy and I love that your niece has you in her life.

Nothing much new for me. Kids get older and busier and just trying to loosely hold it all together. I went back to school to finally finish my degree, but am on hiatus trying to get up the energy to finish. And we all started taking jiu-jitsu last year and dd and I are completely hooked.

[TheOtherMe]

FB, you are missed here.  

I always enjoyed your posts.  Hard to believe BabyBird is 7.  

[Deleted]

I probably got divorced at least once since you were last here. 🤣

[Chocolate Lover]

Oct 23, 2019 10:08:55 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I probably got divorced at least once since you were last here. 🤣

Welcome back FB!! 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Welcome back! 

My son (C) is 10 (today) and my daughter (K) is 11.  They're involved in an American Ninja Warrior style gym and love it.  K started middle school this fall, C is in 4th grade.  Both schools are still German Immersion.  My son is finishing up soccer for the fall season and both kids are about to start vball. 

AS for the rest, still in same jobs, still in same house.  Still married. 

[bean29]

Good to see you back. My life is boring. My kids are 26 (next week) and 22 (still in college), so my life is quiet and boring.

We just had a huge gathering at our house b/c my husband's brother was visiting from Georgia.  It is really great that despite the distance, our extended family seems pretty close.  My DD and her local Cousin N, along with the cousin from Georgia "Junior" and his wife C enjoyed catching up so much that they were the last to leave.   We are supposed to go to Mexico in December for the Church wedding, but otherwise we will journey back to Georgia for a visit soon.

I have two spoiled fur babies, a miniature Schnauzer and a Teddy Bear (Bichon Frise, Shih-Tzu mix)

[Firebird]

Oct 23, 2019 10:08:55 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I probably got divorced at least once since you were last here. 🤣

Was it something I said??

[giramomma]

Since you've been gone (one of you is going to have that song stuck in your head now)..

Our theme has been "Oops, I did it again." I found out about DH's relapse and we had another baby.  I went back to school for another masters...this time in my field. I have 4 more classes, and then I'm done.

DS is 15, and our goal is to get him through HS. In one piece. He's a good kid, though. His path will just be circular instead of linear.

DD1 (11) and DD2 (7) are coming into their own and really are enjoyable. 

DD3 is almost 2. She's pretty awesome, but a toddler. Have totally forgotten how much work a toddler is. I also feel guilty that poor DS will never experience low bar parenting like DD3 has. Or, maybe it's a good thing..

[Cookies Galore]

Hey FB! Good to see you and that things are going well!
I'm pretty much status quo: still married (I say still like there was a chance of not being married, haha) and working for the same company (celebrated 10 years in April), but now I'm a politician. Just waiting for the kickbacks to come in; sadly, local government is not lucrative. Haha.

[Deleted]

Heyyyyy Firebird! It’s great to “see” you! Do you still have your cat? I’ll never forget that cat.

Let’s see.... how long have you been gone? Babybird is the same age as my grandson, I also have a granddaughter, 5yo. I’ve also been taken off the dating market, I’ve been in a serious relationship for a while now. We bought a house together a few months ago. I didn’t even see any of that coming myself. I figured I’d be happily unattached for foreverrrr, and I was fine with it. Life has a funny way of changing things though, right?

I’m happy to read that you and your family are doing well! Take care!

[mmhmm]

Wow! So happy to see you posting again. I missed you! Also, glad to hear things are going so well for you and yours! Try to make time for us as you're able.

[travelnut11]

Oct 23, 2019 11:05:14 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Since you've been gone (one of you is going to have that song stuck in your head now)..

Our theme has been "Oops, I did it again." I found out about DH's relapse and we had another baby.  I went back to school for another masters...this time in my field. I have 4 more classes, and then I'm done.

DS is 15, and our goal is to get him through HS. In one piece. He's a good kid, though. His path will just be circular instead of linear.

DD1 (11) and DD2 (7) are coming into their own and really are enjoyable. 

DD3 is almost 2. She's pretty awesome, but a toddler. Have totally forgotten how much work a toddler is. I also feel guilty that poor DS will never experience low bar parenting like DD3 has. Or, maybe it's a good thing..

So it's not just me? My second kid is far-and-away a much worse toddler than my first kid. I'm literally counting the minutes until it's over. Still more than a year until she turns 4 which was the turning point for kid #1.

[tcu2003]

Hi, Firebird! Glad to hear you’re doing well!

My son C is 7 and into reading, Legos and all the sports. I have a 3yo daughter M now. DH and I both still work for the same company, and are back living in our home state and live relatively near-ish both of our families.

[Firebird]

Always good to see you here! I love the pics you post on fb. You all look so happy and I love that your niece has you in her life.

We love having her too, she's a wonderful kid.  I can't believe she'll be sixteen in four months.  It's going way too fast.  

I went back to school to finally finish my degree, but am on hiatus trying to get up the energy to finish.

Mad props for doing that - there's no way I could! 

I always enjoyed your posts. Hard to believe BabyBird is 7.

I know, right?  Thank you!  I miss you guys too.  

My son (C) is 10 (today) and my daughter (K) is 11. They're involved in an American Ninja Warrior style gym and love it. K started middle school this fall, C is in 4th grade. Both schools are still German Immersion. My son is finishing up soccer for the fall season and both kids are about to start vball.

German Immersion?!  That's so cool! Do you speak it too? 

I have two spoiled fur babies, a miniature Schnauzer and a Teddy Bear (Bichon Frise, Shih-Tzu mix)

OMG 

Our theme has been "Oops, I did it again." I found out about DH's relapse and we had another baby. I went back to school for another masters...this time in my field. I have 4 more classes, and then I'm done.

Okay, you officially astound me.  This is AMAZING.  Congratulations!  

DS is 15, and our goal is to get him through HS. In one piece. He's a good kid, though. His path will just be circular instead of linear.

How well I know THAT feeling!

I'm pretty much status quo: still married (I say still like there was a chance of not being married, haha) and working for the same company (celebrated 10 years in April), but now I'm a politician. Just waiting for the kickbacks to come in; sadly, local government is not lucrative. Haha.
It is for me!  (But then, I have no issue with kickbacks, so...) 

I kid, I kid, I joke with you.  But I do like the public sector quite a lot, which surprised me. 

Heyyyyy Firebird! It’s great to “see” you! Do you still have your cat? I’ll never forget that cat.

Um, of COURSE!  She's as much a baby as ever, and now she has a little brother (how did I forget to mention this).  We adopted a cute little orange guy last year.  So strange having a kitten with fur!  He is adorable and a total Daddy's boy (we call him our catdog because he races to the door to wait for DH when he hears his car pulling in).

I guess he's not really a kitten now since he outweighs the alien kitty by about 3:1    And they look about as much alike as Kate and Randall.  But she does enjoy snuggling with little bro, not that she'd ever admit it.  

Let’s see.... how long have you been gone? Babybird is the same age as my grandson, I also have a granddaughter, 5yo. I’ve also been taken off the dating market, I’ve been in a serious relationship for a while now. We bought a house together a few months ago. I didn’t even see any of that coming myself. I figured I’d be happily unattached for foreverrrr, and I was fine with it. Life has a funny way of changing things though, right?

Aw, I'm so glad you're in a happy relationship   Life does have a funny way of working out.  

Wow! So happy to see you posting again. I missed you! Also, glad to hear things are going so well for you and yours! Try to make time for us as you're able.

You're so sweet!  I wish I could, I really missed you too   I'm heartened that so much of the same crowd is still around.  Unfortunately, I'm busier than I've ever been so not sure how much I'll be posting but I'll try to check in before Denise graduates high school 

So it's not just me? My second kid is far-and-away a much worse toddler than my first kid. I'm literally counting the minutes until it's over. Still more than a year until she turns 4 which was the turning point for kid #1.

Yeah, I have to admit, skipping to the teenage years with Denise was FAR preferable to me than starting over with another baby.  Part of me still longs for another bio-child but honestly, I am in a really good place now and it's hard to imagine going back at this point.  

However, DH and I haven't ruled out fostering/adoption at some point.  I love having Denise in our lives all the time, and I've learned that there are a LOT of ways to make a family besides Exactly the Right Number of Biological Children.  

My son C is 7 and into reading, Legos and all the sports. I have a 3yo daughter M now. DH and I both still work for the same company, and are back living in our home state and live relatively near-ish both of our families.

Aww, I'm so happy you guys are doing well!  It's so great to be near family. 

[Firebird]

You all will love this one... I went to Babybird's first grade conference last night and she filled out a sheet about how she learns, etc.  There was a question at the bottom about what she likes best and worst about first grade.  Her answers were, respectively, "meth" and "hufing." 

I burst out laughing - her teacher had just finished telling me what a great job she was doing so I said, "Cool, was she the only one in her class to recognize a rock of crack?"  I showed her the paper and she just about lost it.  Good sense of humor 

(By the way, Babybird meant "math" and "nothing."  The first one was easy to figure out, the second took me a few minutes.  But obviously I'm delighted to have a future STEM on my hands  )

[Wisconsin Beth]

My son (C) is 10 (today) and my daughter (K) is 11. They're involved in an American Ninja Warrior style gym and love it. K started middle school this fall, C is in 4th grade. Both schools are still German Immersion. My son is finishing up soccer for the fall season and both kids are about to start vball.

German Immersion That's so cool! Do you speak it too?

Oh hell no.  I had some German in college and DH had some in high school.  We did ok while the kids were in K4 and K5 but around 1st grade, we lost the ability to help with homework.  Thank God for Google translate...

K loves her math too but she's currently in what I call 'math hell' in that she's in 6th grade math but doing math on a 7th-8th grade level.  And 6th grade math is actually repeating what she learned in 3rd and 4th grade math.  So she's beyond bored.  I bitched to the principal last night at conferences but there's not a ton he can actually do.  The 6th grade math teacher is actually a long term sub because finding someone who can teach math in German is not exactly easy...  I'll be updating on the parenting thread and/or the tween girls thread on WIR. 

[Firebird]

Beth - 
Ich denke, sie kennen alle Schimpfwörter 

I'll be updating on the parenting thread and/or the tween girls thread on WIR.

Ooh, maybe I can post on that one now and then.  I really do miss the connection of this forum and it would be nice to hear how other people handle issues with their teen.  On the other hand, it's probably for the best.  As the kids get older, Denise in particular, I don't think it's right to discuss them on a public forum.  I'm lucky to have a good RL support network and I utilize it to the fullest when I need feedback on a situation with them.  

But maybe I'll start lurking, though. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

They might.  I figure we're in trouble when they talk in German amongst their friends, knowing parents are listening! 

[giramomma]

Oct 23, 2019 21:51:17 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

<abbr title="Oct 23, 2019 21:51:17 GMT -5" data-timestamp="1571885477000" class="o-timestamp time">Oct 23, 2019 21:51:17 GMT -5</abbr> travelnut11 said:


So it's not just me? My second kid is far-and-away a much worse toddler than my first kid. I'm literally counting the minutes until it's over. Still more than a year until she turns 4 which was the turning point for kid #1.

My first two never went through the terrible twos or threes.

I don't remember the peanut being so busy. She had her issues, but busy-ness was not one of them. Miss M is the only one of my four that was able to open the fridge and doors before the age of 2.

I stay with her on Friday Mornings...a few fridays ago, I had a conference call, which DH came home for. But like a half hour before the call, Miss M was in the fridge, and had taken all of the eggs out of the egg carton and was *very tightly* holding on to an egg. All while looking at my proudly and saying "Egg, egg, egg!!!"

I swear my back was turned on her for 3.4 seconds.

I was able to get all the eggs back in the carton intact. And the thing I was most proud of for the whole day.

While I was putting the eggs back, she found the bagged spinach, got the chip clip off of it, ate a piece, and spit it out.

On a different day, Miss M decided that she wanted cereal for breakfast, went into the pantry, and got the cereal. She then proceeded to pour it on the floor. Thankfully there wasn't much left. And then she ate the cereal off the floor.

And I watched and let it go.  I was like, damn, that girl is occupied and I've got three other kids besides myself to get out the door. Now's my 2 minute opening to get this other stuff done. Yay for her getting her own breakfast!

I know I should have been all like "We eat with a spoon and a dish on the table" But, seriously, I don't have time for that. So far, Miss M is not feral, so I'm going with it.

It's also hard, because old. There's a reason why women are best able to biologically procreate when they are younger.

But, she's cute, entertaining (albeit expensive entertainment), and adored by everyone. She's also by far my most empathic kid. So I hold on to that...and just let a ton go for my sanity.

(And speaking of...I'm betting you've not much of a break. That makes a huge difference, too. Everything is worse when the well is so dry it's cracking.)

[travelnut11]

Firebird - Welcome back. Sorry to derail your thread with my complaining. I hope you do foster care. I have always wanted to do this for older kids since there's such a need and little kids are not my jam. I don't think my husband would go for it though.

giramomma - The busyness is less with this one because she's trying to keep up with big sister I think. But she is so strong-willed and independent which I'm sure I'll appreciate some day (the independence at least) but it is so maddening right now. She is also way more empathetic than her sister. Youngest child thing? Work=break for me. My job is way easier than dealing my kids all the time. Mother of the year right here.

[TheHaitian]

Hey FB... DD is about to turn 3 in January and after thinking/discussing it to death, we have decided to start trying for #2 at the beginning of next year. DD is in nursery school (she is loving it), and gymnastic / ballet on the weekend. Part of us wish we tried for #2 sooner but part of us think we will be thankful for the age gap (depends on how things work out there will be a ~4 year age gap in between them). 

Still in DC, making decent income, retirement savings growing and debt is going down. Working on my side business and wife is applying to PhD Programs. Contemplating buying a bigger home or better location in the next 1-2 years... we were in the market this summer (approved up to 1MM) but got outbid on everything we remotely liked).

So decided to focus on 1-2 things at a time : wife application to PhD Program and getting pregnant next year, me on getting my business off the ground. Also that will give us time to lower debt obligations and increase savings... 

Besides that life is same old same old :making time for the ones we love while juggling everything else. Glad to hear from you and that all is well!

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Hey firebird!

So glad your niece is with you!!! Hope she and babybird are the bestest sisters!!


My updates are all educational/education adjacent ....

I finished my phd last year and got a new job with big salary bump, director title, managing a work group larger than my old division...still pretty small! I'm up to 4 direct reports and a few indirect reports...also have my side biz starting to go .......so everything I was looking for professionally. I'm also finally at an income level where real wealth accumulation could be on the horizon.....

But- I think it's too late! I'm getting too old, not that happy with new job, it's ok though....wish I was at this point 10 years younger is all!! I'm going to plan an exit sooner than later, I think....rather than going for a higher net worth.

DD graduated last year, did a semester abroad. DS to graduate in December.

Ended up with about 125k in student loans all told....so paying those off now! Making progress...month by month....down to about 115 currently.