raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 26, 2019 12:02:24 GMT -5
TLDR: If he's not buying expensive crap (or alcohol/drugs) and isn't in debt up to his eyeballs - maybe having some non-family member (a financial planner or whatever they are called) go over the family's finances and who would ask the tough questions/offer advice wouldn't be such a bad plan. How is he bad at managing money? too many cars/toys? or too many daily expenses (frittering of cash on hand)? Not ambitious enough to earn more? or to move up the corporate ladder/change jobs if he's at the top of his "job class"? So, he's got a retail job... say $15 an hour? At 2080 hours a year that's 31K per year - at $25 an hour is 52K per 2080 work year). So, lets say he's in the 50 to 60K range which is median household income. If he's got a wife and kids and is the sole earner.... maybe he's not so bad with money. 60K a year (for a 4 person family) doesn't go far and houses are a never ending expense (possibly why no upkeep - no $$ or having to make choices about what "fire" to throw the money at?. He just doesn't have alot of money... The people I knew who worked "60 hours a week" didn't have TIME for much of anything - much less fritting money on expenses crap (money got frittered on take out food, alcohol, and other medium expenses like a weekend away for 'relaxation'. exhaustion is not conducieve to good decision making. or thinking about the future.) I'm not good with money either - but I have fairly insatiable curiosity which sent me asking questions/looking for solutions/tools what I should be doing... and then attempting to change small things (which led to big things) ... and that's what got me where I am. I'm still not good with money... but I can consistently half heartedly/most of the time follow a 'plan'. (ie I don't just give up or stop right away. but I can't always do something consistently and I don't every get "good at" or "master" anything. I'm always just sort of so-so/mediocre. There's power in being mediocre. I'm totally stealing this.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 26, 2019 12:02:56 GMT -5
And Hoops, sorry for not saying it before, but I'm sorry about your dad.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 26, 2019 12:11:01 GMT -5
TLDR: If he's not buying expensive crap (or alcohol/drugs) and isn't in debt up to his eyeballs - maybe having some non-family member (a financial planner or whatever they are called) go over the family's finances and who would ask the tough questions/offer advice wouldn't be such a bad plan. How is he bad at managing money? too many cars/toys? or too many daily expenses (frittering of cash on hand)? Not ambitious enough to earn more? or to move up the corporate ladder/change jobs if he's at the top of his "job class"? So, he's got a retail job... say $15 an hour? At 2080 hours a year that's 31K per year - at $25 an hour is 52K per 2080 work year). So, lets say he's in the 50 to 60K range which is median household income. If he's got a wife and kids and is the sole earner.... maybe he's not so bad with money. 60K a year (for a 4 person family) doesn't go far and houses are a never ending expense (possibly why no upkeep - no $$ or having to make choices about what "fire" to throw the money at?. He just doesn't have alot of money... The people I knew who worked "60 hours a week" didn't have TIME for much of anything - much less fritting money on expenses crap (money got frittered on take out food, alcohol, and other medium expenses like a weekend away for 'relaxation'. exhaustion is not conducieve to good decision making. or thinking about the future.) I'm not good with money either - but I have fairly insatiable curiosity which sent me asking questions/looking for solutions/tools what I should be doing... and then attempting to change small things (which led to big things) ... and that's what got me where I am. I'm still not good with money... but I can consistently half heartedly/most of the time follow a 'plan'. (ie I don't just give up or stop right away. but I can't always do something consistently and I don't every get "good at" or "master" anything. I'm always just sort of so-so/mediocre. There's power in being mediocre. He's in the 40k range (because he makes a lot of overtime during the summer). He's not ambitious enough to earn more. He has no wife (recently divorced) and 2 kids. How is he bad at money...a few examples: He bought a slightly used Escalade, was paying something like $500/month because for $500/month he could either keep the car he had, or have an Escalade...no brainer...without regard for the fact the car he had was on a 3 year note and the Escalade was on a timeline of who knows how long. Then he primarily ended up not driving the Escalade because he couldn't afford to put gas in it since it guzzles fuel. Has the $200 DirecTV plan. Needs a new phone every time a new iPhone comes out, along with the most expensive plan. Primarily, he is bad at money because he adjusts his lifestyle to spend every penny on monthly recurring expenses...and then when non-monthly but predictable expenses like property taxes come up, he has nothing. When non-recurring expenses come up like a car repair, he has nothing. He takes on debt to pay them, but he's already strapped his budget to take up his entire paycheck with recurring expenses, so has no money for debt payments. If tomorrow is payday and he has $50 in his pocket...well...that's $50 he can waste at the bar, or going out to dinner, or wherever. When he was married though, they were making about $80k combined...but that's when he was driving an Escalade, wearing the newest Jordans, and she was carrying designer bags and wearing expensive clothing. If tomorrow is payday, and by some miracle he has money in his pocket...he'll find a way to spend it today.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 26, 2019 12:22:57 GMT -5
And Hoops, sorry for not saying it before, but I'm sorry about your dad.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jul 26, 2019 12:56:00 GMT -5
I get the impression your brother is bad with money but open to guidance. What about setting him up with a money manager that will go over his financial goals with him and set him up on an allowance?Then it isn't family that is micromanaging him. Then your mom could give him his share and not worry about it. He's not stubborn, he's open to guidance, he just doesn't have the will power to see a plan through. The bright side is he'll tell you all this himself. He knows he's bad with money, he has no real impulse control. So I'm repeating my suggestion of the money manager. That should slow him down on the impulses and make him think things through without having a family member micromanage him. And he might get new habits in spite of himself.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jul 26, 2019 13:06:12 GMT -5
When giving someone something valuable costs them money
It's called a "White Elephant". The King of Siam used to give people he didn't like rare albino elephants. Albino elephants weren't allowed to work, but the upkeep was astronomical.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jul 26, 2019 13:06:49 GMT -5
When giving someone something valuable costs them moneyIt's called a "White Elephant". The King of Siam used to give people he didn't like albino elephants. Albino elephants weren't allowed to work, but the upkeep was astronomical. I always wondered how that saying came up!
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jul 26, 2019 13:18:40 GMT -5
He's in the 40k range (because he makes a lot of overtime during the summer). He's not ambitious enough to earn more. He has no wife (recently divorced) and 2 kids. How is he bad at money...a few examples: He bought a slightly used Escalade, was paying something like $500/month because for $500/month he could either keep the car he had, or have an Escalade...no brainer...without regard for the fact the car he had was on a 3 year note and the Escalade was on a timeline of who knows how long. Then he primarily ended up not driving the Escalade because he couldn't afford to put gas in it since it guzzles fuel. Has the $200 DirecTV plan. Needs a new phone every time a new iPhone comes out, along with the most expensive plan. Primarily, he is bad at money because he adjusts his lifestyle to spend every penny on monthly recurring expenses...and then when non-monthly but predictable expenses like property taxes come up, he has nothing. When non-recurring expenses come up like a car repair, he has nothing. He takes on debt to pay them, but he's already strapped his budget to take up his entire paycheck with recurring expenses, so has no money for debt payments. If tomorrow is payday and he has $50 in his pocket...well...that's $50 he can waste at the bar, or going out to dinner, or wherever. When he was married though, they were making about $80k combined...but that's when he was driving an Escalade, wearing the newest Jordans, and she was carrying designer bags and wearing expensive clothing. If tomorrow is payday, and by some miracle he has money in his pocket...he'll find a way to spend it today. Ok. There's a good chance some non-family guidance/pressure might help him. Maybe he just doesn't see what's obvious to you (and probably all of us) about how to make money decisions. Sometimes people get stuck in a moment and can't get out of it on their own. They can only keep doing what they are doing (and hope it somehow manages to work).
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 26, 2019 13:37:54 GMT -5
First of all, I'm so sorry about your dad. That seems to have happened very quickly. A few thoughts: - Could your mom gift him the house BUT stipulate that he needs to continue giving her rent "maintenance payments" so that there is money for the necessary upgrades? - Could she (for example) gift him 50% of the house, and "lend" him the other 50% (to justify his paying "rent", again, to be used for future maintenance? - Could she "gift" him a car (purchased or leased) to free up those expensive monthly car payments? However, obviously no point if he's just going to blow that money on something else. The IRA seems to be a good idea, and not a big investment for her. But again, not if he's going to cash it out for a new roof one day! You all seem to have a good relationship ... have you and/or your mom actually tried talking to him about these issues? I assume his house (the current one or another) will eventually go to his own kids. Has anyone ever pointed out to him that by taking good care of his house, he is aiding his own kids' financial futures? (He may not feel the need since your parents seem very generous with their grandkids.) I would be tempted to tell your mother to say something like, I want to gift you this house but I am concerned that you never have any savings for upkeep/maintenance, because there are always costs for a house. Maybe she could tell him that if he can prove that he can save 500/month for a year, or two years, whatever, she will gift him the house at that point? And you can offer to go over his budget with him, since you're good with that. I'm just thinking out loud. It sounds like he just needs some serious guidance and encouragement. Dunno. ETA:
A couple of questions. Are you sure you and your wife would both be fine with living with your mom/MIL? Because the time to know is now, BEFORE you start building.
Also I thought your kids were very small ... I don't understand your comment about wanting them to be "out of school" before you took on the additional expense of re/building a house.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jul 26, 2019 14:02:00 GMT -5
Which is why I would tie it to his behavior each year. If he does not take money out, he gets another contribution for the current year. If he did make a withdrawal, then it stops for good. Forces him to keep his hands off of it if he wants it to continue. Bad decisions lead to bad consequences. He has to learn that eventually, and this is an easy way.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 26, 2019 14:10:38 GMT -5
First of all, I'm so sorry about your dad. That seems to have happened very quickly. A few thoughts: - Could your mom gift him the house BUT stipulate that he needs to continue giving her rent "maintenance payments" so that there is money for the necessary upgrades? - Could she (for example) gift him 50% of the house, and "lend" him the other 50% (to justify his paying "rent", again, to be used for future maintenance? - Could she "gift" him a car (purchased or leased) to free up those expensive monthly payments? However, no point if he's just going to blow those car payments on something else. You all seem to have a good relationship ... have you and/or your mom actually tried talking to him about these issues? I assume his house (whether it's the current one or another) will eventually go to his own kids. Has anyone ever pointed out to him that by taking good care of his house, he will eventually have more to pass onto his own kids? I would be tempted to tell your mother to say something like, I want to gift you this house but I am concerned that you never have any savings for upkeep, or whatever. Maybe tell him that if he can save 500/month for a year, or two years, she will gift him the house at that point? It sounds like he just needs some serious encouragement, but I dunno. There will certainly be a conversation about it, this is my pre-work to see if I can think (or get others like you guys to think) of any ideas I hadn't really considered yet. The downside to any "here's a house but keep paying the rent" is that it only really helps him with theoretical equity in the house. It doesn't actually change his current financial situation (unless he sells the house and uses the equity to buy something, which isn't ideal). As it sits, he effectively "owns" the house now without any of the hassles of home-ownership, he just lives in it and pays the taxes and insurance (as rent), mom pays for the upkeep. It doesn't much help the "let me lighten the load a bit in the current", which is where her waiving his rent payments might help. I don't think he's much worried about passing anything onto his kids honestly. 1. Anything he passes on would be minimal compared to what mom would pass on. 2. He can't much afford to think about passing stuff onto his kids when he can barely pay his own bills currently.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 26, 2019 14:17:34 GMT -5
ETA:
A couple of questions. Are you sure you and your wife would both be fine with living with your mom/MIL? Because the time to know is now, BEFORE you start building.
Also I thought your kids were very small ... I don't understand your comment about wanting them to be "out of school" before you took on the additional expense of re/building a house.
Sorry, out of school was intended to be "out of daycare" and IN school, so we could avoid the $20k/year daycare bill and have a little more financial flexibility to take on a big project like that. My kids are 3 and 6 months at the moment, we had a milestone before dad died that when the youngest was in preschool we'd probably work towards taking over the property. We're fine with living with mom, and she's fine with living with us. It's almost definitely not permanent, she wants to move out in 5 years, we'd probably like her to move out in 5 years. And honestly, my mom would be fine if we built and say "we don't want you to live with us". It's a pretty mutually beneficial situation...she gets to stay in the house she loves and where all of her hobbies are...we get to have a little help on the upkeep (she's a go-go getter when it comes to things like landscaping) and saves me from having to take care of 2 houses. It also helps that the new house will be large, she has lived in the "basement" of that house for 40 years, and she'll keep the basement mostly for herself and we'll keep the first floor. She's also a VERY involved grandmother to all her grandkids, and my kids are starting to surpass my brother's 16 & 10 year olds as the ones getting that grandmother attention...so it'll be great having her right there in-house.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 26, 2019 14:35:38 GMT -5
It does indeed sound like a mutually beneficial arrangement with your Mom.
I think you've convinced me that if your mom were to lower your DB's expenses, he'd just spend that money elsewhere LOL. I'm guessing that TI must be pretty low there, so he's probably not paying much.
At this point the only other thing I can think of is to buy/lease him a car, and ideally make him understand that the only reason she's doing that is to encourage him to put money aside for the inevitable maintenance of "his" house.
But again, there's no point if he's going to spend the car payment elsewhere, or trade a car in every year. And your mom can't FORCE him to save, and why should she? This certainly mustn't be much fun for her.
If I were your mom, I MIGHT try that as a last-ditch effort. But if that didn't work, I'd give up and let the chips fall as they may.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 26, 2019 14:48:35 GMT -5
It does indeed sound like a mutually beneficial arrangement with your Mom. I think you've convinced me that if your mom were to lower your DB's expenses, he'd just spend that money elsewhere LOL. I'm guessing that TI must be pretty low there, so he's probably not paying much at all. At this point the only thing I can think of is to buy/lease him a car, and get your mom to make him understand that the only reason she's helping him like that is to get him to put money aside for the inevitable maintenance. But again, there's no point if he's going to spend the car payment elsewhere, or trade it in every year. And it certainly wouldn't be much fun for her to try to "make" her very adult son learn these things by "force". If I were your mom, I MIGHT do that as a last-ditch effort, but then I'd probably give up and let the chips fall as they may. TI/month is about $600-700 (he lives in a very nice house in the area, it's the one my parents had picked as the "If we ever leave our current house (because their house/location is not conducive to being old), this is a house we could definitely live in", so they bought it and just let him move in). I can actually see my mother giving my brother my dad's truck. It's practically new, and the only reason she still has it at the moment is that she and/or he might want to use it while I'm gone to get stuff from the lumberyard for her house (he works at the lumberyard). Once we all live together, she's probably getting rid of the truck and keeping her SUV. To me it seems like "let him live in a house for free without paying any of the taxes/insurance/upkeep plus here's a free truck" seems like a pretty good deal. I've also floated the idea to her of giving him an option of letting her buy him a house and just letting him sink or swim on his own, all the while secretly (or not so secretly) hoping he takes our advice and just stays living in my mom's rental for free at the loss of hypothetical equity. We both really hope he is content to just live in her rental house for free.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 26, 2019 14:54:27 GMT -5
All these ideas sound eminently generous Hoops. I can actually see my mother giving my brother my dad's truck. It's practically new, and the only reason she still has it at the moment is that she and/or he might want to use it while I'm gone to get stuff from the lumberyard for her house (he works at the lumberyard). If he works at the lumberyard, surely he could deliver to her, in your Dad's practically new truck, no? That sounds like a great solution, as long as he doesn't say "hey cool, no more $500 car payment, what should I spend that on instead?!" To me it seems like "let him live in a house for free without paying any of the taxes/insurance/upkeep plus here's a free truck" seems like a pretty good deal. I've also floated the idea to her of giving him an option of letting her buy him a house and just letting him sink or swim on his own, all the while secretly (or not so secretly) hoping he takes our advice and just stays living in my mom's rental for free at the loss of hypothetical equity. We both really hope he is content to just live in her rental house for free.
I agree that giving him the choice is important, because hopefully he will "own" his decision.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 26, 2019 16:39:32 GMT -5
Wondering if something like a rental manager would help? Rental properties often have managers that take care of maintenance, could maybe also take care of property taxes, house insurance, water/sewer bills etc? Your mom might be able to set up an account with a management company
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Jul 26, 2019 18:20:02 GMT -5
Maybe I am callous, but why is everyone so concerned if brother blows through stuff? He is an adult, if he blows through it, he blows through it and that is on him, and no one else to make sure his future is secure. Because when he blows through the money, there is a certain amount of social pressure on more responsible members of the family to care for their destitute sibling. The extended family gossips “Joe has so much, why doesn’t he help Bill more, or Bill’s kids”. Ditto the neighbors, the members of Bill’s church, Bill’s friends and coworkers. Almost nobody will say “no way Joe should feel like he has to help Bill after the way Bill blew through all that money he got”. Then there is the personal pressure. None of us wants to see our sibling under financial stress. So we feel an obligation to try to do something about our sibling’s circumstances.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jul 26, 2019 19:00:46 GMT -5
Maybe I am callous, but why is everyone so concerned if brother blows through stuff? He is an adult, if he blows through it, he blows through it and that is on him, and no one else to make sure his future is secure. Give a man a fish.... Here's the thing, for me. This is not the extent of what he will ultimately receive. There will apparently be a large amount at some point. The time to change his behavior is NOW. The time to change his belief structure is NOW. The time to instill some good habits is NOW. There is an opportunity to do that. If it fails, what is the future going to be? Do you want to see half of everything the parents built saved, or wasted? And what kind of trouble will that create for the brother AFTER everything has been squandered? And what is the mother supposed to think if she KNOWS everything will be squandered? Deal with the problem, or don't. But not dealing with it gives nobody a right to complain later.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 26, 2019 21:13:58 GMT -5
Maybe I am callous, but why is everyone so concerned if brother blows through stuff? He is an adult, if he blows through it, he blows through it and that is on him, and no one else to make sure his future is secure. Give a man a fish.... Here's the thing, for me. This is not the extent of what he will ultimately receive. There will apparently be a large amount at some point. The time to change his behavior is NOW. The time to change his belief structure is NOW. The time to instill some good habits is NOW. There is an opportunity to do that. If it fails, what is the future going to be? Do you want to see half of everything the parents built saved, or wasted? And what kind of trouble will that create for the brother AFTER everything has been squandered? And what is the mother supposed to think if she KNOWS everything will be squandered? Deal with the problem, or don't. But not dealing with it gives nobody a right to complain later. Yes, it would be great if something changed. Though it's been this way for 20 years of adult life...it seems...unlikely...to change going forward via any outside forces. The bright side is he knows he's terrible with money, so if you told him that I was just going to give him an allowance every month for the rest of his life..he'd LOVE it. It's to the point where management of his problem seems more likely than reversal of it.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2019 22:03:24 GMT -5
The guy works 60 hours a week and is an involved parent in his kids life. Doesn't sound like he's in debt, so he spends what he gets and then quits and isn't great at keeping up on home maintenance. Hardly failing at life, or a parents worst nightmare imo. Great that is your personal opinion.... but to some in many cultures what is important is the “financial” success or appearance of it. I know Haitians aren’t the only ones, my Asian friend just send me a link of funny skit where an Asian kid tell his mom that he is an assassin for hire. She starts crying until he says he makes an insane amount of money doing it. But if she wants him too he will stop. Suddenly she stops and say... oh ok, don’t stop. why don’t you make sure you only kill the “bad” people. My friend from India share the same stories, same for my boss that is Indian. He is making sure his two kids go to medical school. No ones cares if you beat your wife or you are involved in your kids life... what they see is the title and the amount of money “you seemed” to have or make... So, I don't get it. If financial success is so important to Haitians, then shouldn't the parents already be doing well? Why do they need to live vicariously through their kids? And if they aren't doing well, then who are they to judge their kids?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 27, 2019 22:09:04 GMT -5
Great that is your personal opinion.... but to some in many cultures what is important is the “financial” success or appearance of it. I know Haitians aren’t the only ones, my Asian friend just send me a link of funny skit where an Asian kid tell his mom that he is an assassin for hire. She starts crying until he says he makes an insane amount of money doing it. But if she wants him too he will stop. Suddenly she stops and say... oh ok, don’t stop. why don’t you make sure you only kill the “bad” people. My friend from India share the same stories, same for my boss that is Indian. He is making sure his two kids go to medical school. No ones cares if you beat your wife or you are involved in your kids life... what they see is the title and the amount of money “you seemed” to have or make... So, I don't get it. If financial success is so important to Haitians, then shouldn't the parents already be doing well? Why do they need to live vicariously through their kids? And if they aren't doing well, then who are they to judge their kids? Same reason why rich parents paid and continue to pay millions of dollars to get their kids into IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS; even trying to cheat the system. Your kids (to many) is a continuation of you, a representation of you, and you always want them to do better then you did no matter how successful you were/are. Is that a concept so hard to understand?Does that answer your question?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2019 22:17:53 GMT -5
So, I don't get it. If financial success is so important to Haitians, then shouldn't the parents already be doing well? Why do they need to live vicariously through their kids? And if they aren't doing well, then who are they to judge their kids? Same reason why rich parents paid and continue to pay millions of dollars to get their kids into IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS; even trying to cheat the system. Your kids (to many) is a continuation of you, a representation of you, and you always want them to do better then you did no matter how successful you were/are. Is that a concept so hard to understand?Does that answer your question? Yes, for me it is. I really cannot fathom financial success of a child being more important to me as a parent than them being good people that are happy and other people like. A wife beating millionaire? WTF? How is that preferable?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 27, 2019 22:31:15 GMT -5
Same reason why rich parents paid and continue to pay millions of dollars to get their kids into IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS; even trying to cheat the system. Your kids (to many) is a continuation of you, a representation of you, and you always want them to do better then you did no matter how successful you were/are. Is that a concept so hard to understand?Does that answer your question? Yes, for me it is. I really cannot fathom financial success of a child being more important to me as a parent than them being good people that are happy and other people like. A wife beating millionaire? WTF? How is that preferable? Really? So you are using the extreme of a wife beating millionaire? So if that is true: why are you paying to send your son to private school? Shouldn’t the public school be enough? Wouldn’t that correlate to him getting an extra advantage to those that are going to Public school and as a parent that was important to you? Would that possibly down the road maybe just maybe increase his chances to get into college and maybe just maybe get some “grants” “scholarship”? Or maybe an a band? Playing an instrument? Boy scout? Extra curricular activities? Not that would help a college application in any way? Or saving so hard for his college education that would translate to him being a better candidate to potential employers? So if your child “financial success” in this world was not so important why would you be doing so much to ensure just that? Because couldn’t you just get him a job at your place of employment right after high school, screw college, screw an education... you just want him to be happy don’t you.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2019 23:13:34 GMT -5
Yes, for me it is. I really cannot fathom financial success of a child being more important to me as a parent than them being good people that are happy and other people like. A wife beating millionaire? WTF? How is that preferable? Really? So you are using the extreme of a wife beating millionaire? You're the one that said "no one cares if you beat your wife or aren't involved in your kids life as long as you make a lot of money. So if that is true: why are you paying to send your son to private school? Shouldn’t the public school be enough? He chose the private school. I let him try them both out and said he could go to either one. Wouldn’t that correlate to him getting an extra advantage to those that are going to Public school and as a parent that was important to you? I don't know. Maybe. The public actually has a lot more things like AP and Honors classes.Would that possibly down the road maybe just maybe increase his chances to get into college and maybe just maybe get some “grants” “scholarship”? Getting into A college is not really a huge accomplishment. Lots of state schools have 80+% admission rates. He's only applying to one selective school, the rest are slam dunks. Grants are need based and scholarships are usually just GPA and ACT. Tough high school might actually make it harder honestly.
Or maybe an a band? Playing an instrument? Boy scout? Extra curricular activities? Not that would help a college application in any way? Again. Not applying to any schools that care about extracurriculars at all. I have him in these things to provide enrichment to his life. Scouts and band have provided him experiences and skills that will stay with him his whole life. He told me the other day he teared up at his last summer campout this year and wants to come back as an adult leader in 2 years when his brother starts so he can share the experience with him.
Or saving so hard for his college education that would translate to him being a better candidate to potential employers? I don't understand this statement. Why would me saving for his college make him a better candidate? I just don't want him to have debt. Again. HAPPINESS is what I'm shooting for. So if your child “financial success” in this world was not so important why would you be doing so much to ensure just that? I can want for them to be able to support themselves without being hung up on "success" being defined as just a high paying or elite job. Because couldn’t you just get him a job at your place of employment right after high school, screw college, screw an education... you just want him to be happy don’t you. Um...he can work where I do if he wants. If he wants to do what I do, he needs a degree though. But, his dream is to work for NASA or something in the space industry. He's wanted to do that since he was seriously like 4 years old. He lugged his huge telescope along on our trip this week and has been going out every night stargazing. Montana and South Dakota have been heaven to him with the lack of light pollution.
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 17:48:11 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2019 0:04:00 GMT -5
And Hoops, sorry for not saying it before, but I'm sorry about your dad.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 29, 2019 14:27:43 GMT -5
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