qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Apr 7, 2011 14:37:22 GMT -5
I respect everyone's opinion but OMG there is a lot of "oops" going on. After my two for a while I made damn sure another one wasn't coming.
Yeah, my first oops there was no b/c involved because I was only prepared to "make out" not "go all the way" (I was a teenager and most boys I had dated understood the rules), but he didn't stop when I said to. I guess that's technically date rape.
The second oops I was using the sponge. I have no idea why it didn't work, those damn things cost the earth, they should work.
The third oops was because someone (not a doctor obviously) told me that you can't get pregnant when you're nursing until you start having your period again. They were wrong.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2011 14:42:12 GMT -5
Since when do YOU get to decide when I am done having children? <snip>I wouldn't do it anyhow but it really cheesed me off that the doctor got to make the call based on when "they" think I would be done with children and those parts of my body. It used to be the Rule of 120. If your age multiplied by the number of kids you had equalled 120 or more, "they" would let you have a tubal ligation. My Mom qualified by age 30 (5 kids, well-supported by Dad, she wanted that many but not that fast). I'm 58 and I can have one in 62 years. It was bad for the guys, too. I met a couple in the late 1970s in which the husband had been snipped around 1970. They had to go out of state to get it done and sign all sorts of papers (his wife had to sign, too). I can see the need for serious discussions and signing of waivers, but if you're done having kids no matter what the future holds, that should be your decision!
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morrisr2d2
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Post by morrisr2d2 on Apr 7, 2011 14:44:37 GMT -5
I think people interpret the entitlement question as "what should the government provide everyone". Problem is, government may or may not always be there. I interpret this question as "what am I entitled to from other people by the mere fact I was born on this planet?".
To me that isn't much - just to keep what I was born with, the hope my parents raise me the best they can, the freedom to make my own decisions and live by the consequences, help those I love or feel compassion for, and accept help from those so kind to offer it to me.
This concept includes the God-given ability to bring children into the world, but unforunately this means the risk children can suffer. Thus this is where other's people compassion steps in.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 7, 2011 14:44:41 GMT -5
Yeah, my first oops there was no b/c involved because I was only prepared to "make out" not "go all the way" (I was a teenager and most boys I had dated understood the rules), but he didn't stop when I said to. I guess that's technically date rape.There's nothing "technical" about it. If you said no, it was rape. I'm sorry that happened to you
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 7, 2011 14:48:05 GMT -5
DH more than qualifies, he's 37. Which is why when we decide we are done, he's getting snipped. I told him about the talk I had with the gyno and I said there is no way in hell I am going to fight with them till I am 35 when you can just walk into the office and walk back out. If I am being trusted to know if I want kids before the age of 35, I should be trusted with the decision of knowing I DON'T want them before the age of 35.
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Post by lulubean on Apr 7, 2011 15:02:59 GMT -5
I am sorry to hear that qofcc.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 7, 2011 15:11:51 GMT -5
I respect everyone's opinion but OMG there is a lot of "oops" going on. After my two for a while I made damn sure another one wasn't coming. So did I, also after two, but I had to fight to do it because I wasn't old enough according to some stupid chart to decide that I didn't want anymore kids. It's ridiculous. Being a legally competent adult means you get to make your own choices, even ones you'll regret later.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Apr 7, 2011 15:12:54 GMT -5
I am sorry to hear that qofcc
Thanks, but that was a long time ago and I have a beautiful 21 year old daughter. Life goes on and I stopped being upset about it way back when.
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Post by sue on Apr 7, 2011 16:10:34 GMT -5
"If you can raise happy and healthy kids on $25k a year, then I salute you."
Considering dd17 has been a troubled teen for the last (almost) 4 years, no salute for me then lol. I don't think that can be blamed on my income level or lack of opportunities due to limited finances though. Maybe it is a contributing factor, I had never really considered it?
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Post by sue on Apr 7, 2011 16:16:59 GMT -5
"Under SSI for a long time my daughter got $400, now she gets more as she is drawing on my SS but not much more. Can you imagine someone living on that? Don't think those people are living really well, I know of a lot of them and they are not."
patstab... I can't speak for anyone else, but my comments and feelings about welfare being too high and income guidelines not being high enough is not about people like your daughter. It is about able-bodied people making poor choices and having someone else pay the bill for it. Your daughter is a perfect example of someone who legitimately needs the system as a safety net, and which is why I would never be in favor of ending welfare completely.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 7, 2011 16:29:34 GMT -5
"If you can raise happy and healthy kids on $25k a year, then I salute you." Considering dd17 has been a troubled teen for the last (almost) 4 years, no salute for me then lol. I don't think that can be blamed on my income level or lack of opportunities due to limited finances though. Maybe it is a contributing factor, I had never really considered it? I doubt it. A good mom is a good mom regardless of income, and I am sure you are a good mom. I was a troubled teen myself and I had one of the best moms in existence. I don't think I said what I meant very well
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 7, 2011 16:33:57 GMT -5
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 7, 2011 16:42:43 GMT -5
I think Brazil had/has a policy for paying for sterilization surgeries. I think there was alot of controversy over it because it was somewhat 'aimed' at the poor AND the citizens are very religious (at least they pay lip service as being very religious). Not sure of the specifics... may have to google it...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2011 18:08:31 GMT -5
I also got pregnant on the pill and for the same reasons. Antibiotics for my face. I just figured I was one of the unlucky ones that got "caught." Imagine my dismay when we changed insurance carriers, my face broke out again, and the new doctor told me that btw, use another form of bc because these pills will make your bc pill ineffective!!! GRRR to that first doctor. I love my son but still.....
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 7, 2011 18:18:05 GMT -5
Medicaid is a partnership between the states and the federal government. What is covered under Medicaid is not the same in any two states. Most of them cover some general set of services but how they cover them and what they pay to providers for those services are different.
If you want to know what Medicaid covers in a particular state you need to find the state plan for that state. Each state is required to come up with and file a plan with Medicare/Medicaid that establishes who is eligible, how they will run the plan, and what services it will cover.
I don't see the access issue getting any better. Medicaid reimbursement is already below that of even Medicare in most states. Now with the end of additional federal funding for Medicaid under the Recovery Act, states are looking to cut the provider reimbursement rates even lower to help balance their budgets.
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Post by lulubean on Apr 7, 2011 18:19:21 GMT -5
That same reason is still going on, Docs haven't learned much.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 7, 2011 18:27:52 GMT -5
We had our second due to a birth control misinformation issue too. The pill they put nursing mothers on uses a different hormone from the regular pill. It works by some interaction with a hormone that your body produces while breastfeeding. So if you stop breastfeeding for a week, because you're say moving across the country due to a change of station in the military, the pill might as well be a tic tac. It would have been nice for the doc to give us a heads up on that when prescribing it. I also blame whoever decorated the temporary housing at Peterson AFB in Colorado Springs. Any moron should have known that using a giant mirror for the headboard of the bed in the master bedroom was bound to cause problems... it was fun though.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 7, 2011 18:45:03 GMT -5
*busily makes notes on what makes BC not work for future reference*
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Apr 7, 2011 23:24:38 GMT -5
Oh, man, I was soooo lucky not to get hit by the "birth control and antibiotics" deal. My family can breed like rabbits, my mom had all five of us kids due to birth control failure. I had taken antibiotics a few times while on the pill and only found out that it renders it ineffective a couple years ago (after the tubal). I would have been pissed beyond belief.
St John's wart (some people take it for mild depression) has also been found to negate birth control, so add that to the list.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 8, 2011 6:31:48 GMT -5
Going back to the topic. I think you are entitled to anything you work for and that includes your kids. Growing up there were kids better off than me and not as well off as me. I do not think they are entitled to anything more than their parents can provide. That may mean you live with family while you work your minimum wage job at night to provide for the children you brought into this world. So be it. Once the handouts stop coming for doing nothing but laying on your back, perhaps some personal responsibility will start. Children should not equal paycheck. Right now it does and that is wrong on so many levels that it's ridiculous.
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morrisr2d2
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Post by morrisr2d2 on Apr 8, 2011 6:52:43 GMT -5
Also, as I said earlier, you'll notice people answer this question as "what should the government (particularly federal) provide everyone. But a government is a manmade thing, and may or may not exist at certain points in humans existence. I suggest trying to answer this by taking the view point "what am I entitled to from other people just by the mere fact I was born on this planet?" When you do, you realize it really isn't much beyond your freedom, live by the consequences of your decisions, and to help each other out as each person sees fit.
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