tractor
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Post by tractor on Apr 23, 2019 6:15:04 GMT -5
OK, this is something that I’ve been wondering. I know that at some point I will come home and find my father has passed away. He either will not wake up one morning, or he will be found laying in the yard after suffering a major heart attack.
I know, morbid, but it’s a reality I will be facing at some point ever since my dad moved in with us last year. So my question is, what do I do? Is this a 911 call, if he’s still alive, sure but if he’s dead it’s not an emergency. Do I call the police or go right to the funeral home and ask them to come pick up the body?
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Apr 23, 2019 6:26:48 GMT -5
Twice in my lifetime we have had neighbors come banging on the door because the spouse had a heart attack and dropped dead. Both times they called 911. Not sure if there is a better set up? Sorry you have to think about it but all of us with aging parents definitely do.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Apr 23, 2019 6:43:47 GMT -5
From what I understood when we were going through this with my Grandparents that the police need to be called so they can investigate the death unless they are under hospice care. If they are under hospice care than it is an expected event.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Apr 23, 2019 7:26:54 GMT -5
From what I understood when we were going through this with my Grandparents that the police need to be called so they can investigate the death unless they are under hospice care. If they are under hospice care than it is an expected event. Do the police really investigate every death? I find this fascinating. For the record, it doesn’t bother me to think about this type of stuff, because I really don’t know. They don’t teach these kinds of things in school, mainly because most people don’t want to think about it. Are there any law enforcement types on the list that could outline the “standard” procedure?
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Apr 23, 2019 7:33:44 GMT -5
Call the undertaker. He will know what is required and may even arrange it.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 23, 2019 7:40:33 GMT -5
It may be the individual is clearly dead, but that may not be the case. Best to call 911. Police and EMTs will arrive with the EMTs checking on the person's vitals. There could but a very weak pulse not readily detectable or visible to the untrained.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 23, 2019 7:57:46 GMT -5
OK, this is something that I’ve been wondering. I know that at some point I will come home and find my father has passed away. He either will not wake up one morning, or he will be found laying in the yard after suffering a major heart attack. I know, morbid, but it’s a reality I will be facing at some point ever since my dad moved in with us last year. So my question is, what do I do? Is this a 911 call, if he’s still alive, sure but if he’s dead it’s not an emergency. Do I call the police or go right to the funeral home and ask them to come pick up the body? Not sure about where you are, but in NY, unattended deaths need a police visit/investigation. I'd call 911 and let them handle it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 23, 2019 8:00:25 GMT -5
From what I understood when we were going through this with my Grandparents that the police need to be called so they can investigate the death unless they are under hospice care. If they are under hospice care than it is an expected event. Do the police really investigate every death? I find this fascinating. For the record, it doesn’t bother me to think about this type of stuff, because I really don’t know. They don’t teach these kinds of things in school, mainly because most people don’t want to think about it. Are there any law enforcement types on the list that could outline the “standard” procedure? Investigate can mean just ask some basic questions? Police upon finding an old guy dead in bed: Is that your dad? Yes. How old was he? 97. Any health issues: Yes, lots. OK. We'll call the funeral home. Thanks for your time. Police finding 48 year old guy dead with obvious trauma, blood splatters, etc: Is that your husband? Yes. How old is he? 48 What happened? He pissed me off. You have the right to remain silent.......
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 23, 2019 8:00:39 GMT -5
It may be the individual is clearly dead, but that may not be the case. Best to call 911. Police and EMTs will arrive with the EMTs checking on the person's vitals. There could but a very weak pulse not readily detectable or visible to the untrained. Worked with a girl who went home and found her husband on floor in hallway. She called 911 (side note - he was head of 911 at time) EMTs came and declared dead then police were called since he was home alone and I guess since wife found him. I don't remember all the details but I do remember police being there. I agree with Tenn on calling 911 first. Let them do there job and then go from there.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 23, 2019 8:02:03 GMT -5
OK, this is something that I’ve been wondering. I know that at some point I will come home and find my father has passed away. He either will not wake up one morning, or he will be found laying in the yard after suffering a major heart attack. I know, morbid, but it’s a reality I will be facing at some point ever since my dad moved in with us last year. So my question is, what do I do? Is this a 911 call, if he’s still alive, sure but if he’s dead it’s not an emergency. Do I call the police or go right to the funeral home and ask them to come pick up the body? Not sure about where you are, but in NY, unattended deaths need a police visit/investigation. I'd call 911 and let them handle it. I wonder if that is the case here since that is what happened (see post typed while you were typing)
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Apr 23, 2019 8:36:22 GMT -5
When you call 911, you are connected to a trained human being who should have the knowledge to help you handle the situation correctly based on the specifics you report.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 23, 2019 8:51:19 GMT -5
911 here runs down a checklist called ProQA - the questions change based on the answers the dispatchers receive. What gets entered into the formal record is a summery of the answers and comments like "body is cold and stiff" "CPR refused" "instructed CPR" and/or "DOA" I hear the dispatchers counting out CPR with people a few times a week.
Here, 911 calls start at the cops, get turned over to Fire for fires/EMS calls. We bring the cops back onto the call as needed. We'll dispatch a rig to confirm that the body is dead or to take vitals, etc. but when we're done, we close out our records and do not have any of the police records for what happens after we're off scene. We had an engine company in the 1980s that started every day with at least one call about a dead body. Their response area was where GI housing was built out after WWII. Spouses would wake up to find their partner had passed away in their sleep.
So yeah, call 911.
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Apr 23, 2019 8:57:57 GMT -5
I imagine if you only called the funeral home they still have to get the Coroner involved. I know you are a great person, but there are people out there letting parents grandparents die with a little help, legal or nefariously to just get the inheritance earlier than expected........ You will need a legal death certificate, so either a hospital or Coroner should be involved. I believe even the funeral home needs a death certificate as they usually contact Social Security and any pension fund involved, or at least do it for you as a service.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Apr 23, 2019 9:06:39 GMT -5
Thanks for all your answers, hopefully it will be awhile before I have to deal with this, but it’s just something I think about when my brain has a few minutes to relax.
I just didn’t want to bother 911 if it wasn’t necessary.
The questions get really strange when you throw alcohol into the mix 🙂
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 23, 2019 9:14:51 GMT -5
Thanks for all your answers, hopefully it will be awhile before I have to deal with this, but it’s just something I think about when my brain has a few minutes to relax. I just didn’t want to bother 911 if it wasn’t necessary. The questions get really strange when you throw alcohol into the mix 🙂 A friend of mine died a year ago this month after 11 years of battling multiple bouts of cancer. Three months later, her husband went to his mother's apartment, as he did evey Tuesday, to help her with what ever she needed help that day. When he got to her apartment door he noticed her newspaper was still outside her door which was not a usual thing. He entered her apartment and found her dead in her bed. She died in her sleep. 911 sent an EMT truck to her place of residence. Based on her age, 93, police weren't dispatched.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 23, 2019 9:20:36 GMT -5
Thanks for all your answers, hopefully it will be awhile before I have to deal with this, but it’s just something I think about when my brain has a few minutes to relax. I just didn’t want to bother 911 if it wasn’t necessary. The questions get really strange when you throw alcohol into the mix 🙂 You are not bothering 911. It's why they're there.
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ners
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Post by ners on Apr 23, 2019 11:51:44 GMT -5
Do the police really investigate every death? I find this fascinating. For the record, it doesn’t bother me to think about this type of stuff, because I really don’t know. They don’t teach these kinds of things in school, mainly because most people don’t want to think about it. Are there any law enforcement types on the list that could outline the “standard” procedure? Investigate can mean just ask some basic questions? Police upon finding an old guy dead in bed: Is that your dad? Yes. How old was he? 97. Any health issues: Yes, lots. OK. We'll call the funeral home. Thanks for your time. Police finding 48 year old guy dead with obvious trauma, blood splatters, etc: Is that your husband? Yes. How old is he? 48 What happened? He pissed me off. You have the right to remain silent....... This makes me think of the story my DF tells about the day his father died. 911 was called. Pronounced father dead. Police were called for investigation. Question: Did you father have any enemies? DF: Yes cancer. Question: Do you have a first name for this Mr Cancer. DF: Colon Question: Do you have an address for Mr. Colon Caner. DF: He died of cancer. What are you not getting. Question: We really need to use the phone to call this in. Do you think you could get your mother off the phone. DF: No I cannot get my mother off the phone go use the radio in your car. He was not impressed by the police in his town.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2019 16:46:36 GMT -5
When DH died at home my neighbor called 911 but said it wasn’t an emergency. The emt’s came then called the sheriff who called the coroner who called the doctor. When everyone was satisfied it was a natural death, my neighbor called the funeral home. They came and got him.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 23, 2019 17:11:21 GMT -5
I think it depends on where you live... I live in an urban area. My dad died at home while I was at school so I don't know how that worked. My mom died (more than 20 years ago) at home while I was at work. I called 911 - the 911 operator asked me some questions I'm sure were intended to determine how much alive (or dead) she was... but I was pretty sure she was dead dead (as in several hours - not minutes). Once I made that phone call, I called my SIL who lived nearby and who I knew was home. The police investigation involved pretty much what Swamp outlined: my relationship, her age, who found her, what else could I tell about it. The officer taking the notes had a poker face but I could tell he knew she was dead dead when I found her and that the questions were just "required" - no foul play involved. My BFFs dad died at home during the night a few years ago and they also called 911 and had a similiar experience with the police questions. FWIW: the paramedics and police were respectful during such a terrible time. For both me and my BFF. Oh, yeah, we were both asked if we wanted an autopsy to determine cause of death - I said no, mom was in her 70's with a heart condition (it most likely was a heart attack but might have been a stroke) . My BFF also declined her dad was in his 80's with a litany of health issues (most likely he died of a stroke but it might have been his heart). No one involved with the question about the autopsy said anything about it serving a greater purpose... and even now I'm not sure if a definative cause of death would have helped statistics? or what. I think the autopsy thing might be required (not decline-able) depending on your area.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 23, 2019 18:06:09 GMT -5
I don't know if it was because we had hospice involved, but when mom passed and we knew she was gone, we had been instructed to call hospice. Hospice declared her officially deceased (exactly 3 hours after she took her last breath) and called funeral home.
There was no 911 call.
There was no autopsy.
Hopefully hospice will be involved when dad goes and it will be handled the same way.
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kadee79
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Post by kadee79 on Apr 23, 2019 20:46:22 GMT -5
My first hubby died at home of cancer & he was on hospice. We did not call 911, we called hospice & they handled the rest including calling the funeral home I wanted to use. We didn't get a visit from the local sheriff. Hospice came & got their equipment after the funeral home had taken him. That was all.
But someone has to declare them dead & it has to go on the death certificate...and you will need way more of those than you ever thought you would...everyone & their brother seems to 'need' one for their files.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Apr 23, 2019 21:12:57 GMT -5
I came home from work one day and found my Bill (age 59) on the kitchen floor, he had been there all day. I called 911 and fire rescue was there within a few minutes. Declared him passed.
As I remember the police came. I think it was a special unit that deals with things like this, and he asked questions and looked through the house. Then some ladies came, not sure who they were but were there to be with me and made phone calls that I wanted.
Coroners office came several hours later and took Bill away for autopsy. Required for this type of death. Other people took care of everything else ........... I don't remember
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 24, 2019 0:03:39 GMT -5
My first hubby died at home of cancer & he was on hospice. We did not call 911, we called hospice & they handled the rest including calling the funeral home I wanted to use. We didn't get a visit from the local sheriff. Hospice came & got their equipment after the funeral home had taken him. That was all. But someone has to declare them dead & it has to go on the death certificate... and you will need way more of those than you ever thought you would...everyone & their brother seems to 'need' one for their files. and it's usually cheaper to just get alot of them (I'd start with say 10 copies) right at the start than to have 5 made and then go back and order another 2 or 3... That might just be my experience. I guess what my actual advice would be: Ask about the cost(s) involved with death certificates - the first time you get them and then how much it costs to get additional ones (at a future date) and then decide how you want to do it. I'd guesstimate how many you will need - based on how many different "accounts" you will be working with. Odds are anytime you want to close or move $$ or cancel something you will need a notarized death certificate. And making copies of a notarized certificate just makes the people/organization you are trying to give it to, give you the hairy eye ball and a firm "we need a notarized death certificate".
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 24, 2019 8:14:46 GMT -5
I think we got lucky when mom died. She had no life insurance. The credit union let us show them the original notarized death certificate and copied it for their records to take her name off their accounts. Dad was the beneficiary of her IRA and that is what they used to put it in to his IRA.
We only needed to send a notarized death certificate to dad's employer and that was to change the beneficiary on his life insurance from a spouse to two daughters. Had to prove he no longer had a spouse.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Apr 27, 2019 16:36:44 GMT -5
My first hubby died at home of cancer & he was on hospice. We did not call 911, we called hospice & they handled the rest including calling the funeral home I wanted to use. We didn't get a visit from the local sheriff. Hospice came & got their equipment after the funeral home had taken him. That was all. But someone has to declare them dead & it has to go on the death certificate...and you will need way more of those than you ever thought you would...everyone & their brother seems to 'need' one for their files. Heed this. My father passed away 7 years ago. I got 12 copies of the death certificate at the time. I just had to order a couple more (and one for my mom, who passed away 10 years ago) to complete the transfer of some inherited savings bonds. It took 6 months to get the certified copies I needed.
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OldCoyote
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Post by OldCoyote on Apr 28, 2019 22:51:32 GMT -5
Called 911, when we found the MIL, police came, Fire came,, Grief counselors came,, After a short time ,, the Grief counselors helped with calling a mortuary!
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