jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Feb 23, 2023 19:19:29 GMT -5
I’m wondering if that’s needed for any state? We’re in NJ and YDS is out executor and lives in NY He’s coming over in 2 weeks and we’re going over will, accounts. Etc
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Feb 23, 2023 19:29:58 GMT -5
This may be a case by case or state by state type of rule. For my Dad's estate we were told because there was basically only one heir, my mother, that a bond wouldn't be necessary. They said they would need a bond if there were multiple heirs and the potential that any one of those heirs could contest how the estate was being settled. This was in Oregon
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 23, 2023 19:34:24 GMT -5
I'm guessing it's one of those things that vary by state. It would definitely be something to check into as part of your estate planning. The bulk of the number in my bond amount is due to her stocks. They were directly registered (ie not in a brokerage account) and did not have a designated beneficiary.
When we went through the paperwork trying to sort what we needed, I found the papers from my grandpa's estate. Grandpa never had a will because those were for sick people. Grandma was the sole heir though. The paper from the county clerk listed a $150 bond. I'm guessing because he had no will she had to pay a small amount.
I am grateful that it's just an annoyance and that I was able to get it set up in time for my appointment Monday.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 23, 2023 20:00:32 GMT -5
My attorney advised me that she will advise DN1 to turn down anything to do with my estate besides inherit if he still lives out of the country.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 23, 2023 20:13:04 GMT -5
My mom was my grandma's only heir. Because of that the lawyer said she didn't have to do anything. Everything went straight to her no probate.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 23, 2023 22:47:16 GMT -5
I think it's much easier when there's only one heir. Other than finding all the dang paper stock certificates and the second life insurance policy that was a surprise, it was pretty easy for grandma.
Each of the three grandchildren gets a specified chunk of cash and the remaining bulk is to be split 50-50 between my uncle and dad.
Once I get appointed the next big task is getting my uncle moved out. He's not physically able to help and mentally he's not all there some days. It will be better to get him moved with whatever he wants to take with him, then we can be ruthless about emptying the rest of the house.
And I'm resigned to this taking a year to finish. I've always done her taxes since grandpa passed so the last one will be 2023.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 24, 2023 9:12:41 GMT -5
Hugs, WVgurl. Getting your uncle out is going to be a huge task.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 24, 2023 10:55:11 GMT -5
Getting him moved 2 hours north with his stuff is going to be a chore. He does have applications in at a few senior communities. On the other hand, that responsibility should be his son's. I'm willing to take the responsibility of cleaning out the rest of the house once he's gone but I'm not moving him too. Physically he's not going to be much help. He does state he wants to move near his son and not stay in the house. He has done legwork of touring some communities and calling other possibilities.
I need to confirm the date with my dad but end of March was the tentative date for everyone to come and pick what they'd like to have.
May was the target date to move my uncle.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2023 11:23:44 GMT -5
Yes, the responsibility should be on his son.
Your time guess is a good one. Dad's estate was pretty simple and it took a year.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Feb 24, 2023 12:44:03 GMT -5
My Dad's estate qualfied as a "small estate" under CA rules. But stuff kept popping up after the estate was closed like the $500 bond which my grandmother bought in 1975. He never cashed it in. Apparently the interest only accumulates for so long then nothing. Then of course there was the drama over the house he had a partial interest in a Trust.
Make sure you keep a couple of extra original death certificates. I think it took about a month to get my grandmother's certified death certificate. You never know what you're going to find out when you clean out the house!
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 27, 2023 11:57:20 GMT -5
I ordered 15 death certificates. I'm still waiting on them.
I signed this morning and got my probate bond. Went to the courthouse and filed the will and got an appointment letter. I have 90 days to complete and return the estate inventory form. After that the 60 day claim period is opened. I can't imagine what would be out there but have to follow the process.
They'll issue a new deed for the house once I turn in the inventory form. So then we'll have a new deed with just my uncle and dad's names.
It came up while we were in the probate office that my uncle has no clue where the lawyer is in the process of handling my aunt's estate. I can't even with that. And that is why I will handle my grandma's.
Mom and her husband are doing wills this spring and I will be named executor. I told her to make sure it includes the no bond clause. Grandma's had it but I wasn't named.
We knew her will needed updated but removing my uncle from her bank accounts upset her so much we weren't willing to push further.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 27, 2023 17:50:26 GMT -5
Sometimes, it's not worth making them upset. This was one of those times.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 1, 2023 12:37:57 GMT -5
TheOtherMe I have a question about all of your genealogy research. What do you expect to happen to that after your gone? I think you've uploaded some to websites? We have dozens of binders of stuff grandma did on different branches of the family. No one is really interested in it. One of her nephews does research as well so I'm guessing most of it would be a duplicate for him. The only I'm interested in is the one I grew up reading the one of our immediate family grandpa and all his siblings and grandma's. We tossed some stuff that was loose and not filed. The cabinet with all the binders we just shut the doors back. Dad said something about boxing it up and sticking it in his house.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Mar 1, 2023 13:00:11 GMT -5
I’m doing genealogy also. Two cousins (one Irish one German) are also, neither of these cousins have children. I’m doing this mostly for myself. If my kids want to keep it fine. If not just throw away. Nothing interesting enough for any type of museum.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 1, 2023 13:18:29 GMT -5
I have no idea what to do with some of my mom's stuff. I don't have the time to devote to it. My brother has expressed some interest but he's not in any position to take it all. Maybe dad and I will store some of the more interesting bits in boxes and set them aside for him.
I would like to go through her photos for the older ones. I am considering making a collage I can display on the wall out of them.
A couple I'd like to try my hand at making cameo jewelry with. I'll make copies of the originals. They are pretty sepia pictures and would give me a way to display them that is unique to me.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 1, 2023 16:18:58 GMT -5
TheOtherMe I have a question about all of your genealogy research. What do you expect to happen to that after your gone? I think you've uploaded some to websites? We have dozens of binders of stuff grandma did on different branches of the family. No one is really interested in it. One of her nephews does research as well so I'm guessing most of it would be a duplicate for him. The only I'm interested in is the one I grew up reading the one of our immediate family grandpa and all his siblings and grandma's. We tossed some stuff that was loose and not filed. The cabinet with all the binders we just shut the doors back. Dad said something about boxing it up and sticking it in his house. On my mom's side, I have 2 cousins once removed who say they are interested. If so, they will get that. On dad's side, I know of no one who is interested. I have a genealogical will. What nobody wants will be going to the Allen County Genealogy Library in Fort Wayne Indiana and, yes, I have talked to them. I have a book on WWII enlistees from the small town where my mom grew up that they want now as they are starting to build up their WWII collection. Other ideas are local and state genealogical societies. My tree itself is on Ancestry but I have some things I will never put in public. I also have it in a software program where I can mark things private that don't sync to ancestry. Please don't toss photos. There are groups on FB that will help find family members who might want the photos.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 1, 2023 17:07:54 GMT -5
There aren't really many photos in the genealogy and those that are look to be print outs from websites.
Her photos are in a separate chest.
Maybe dad's idea to box it up and store for now will work.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 1, 2023 20:29:05 GMT -5
I had no interest whatsoever in genealogy when my aunt started hers. I was too busy working and trying to earn a living.
I developed some interest in the early 90's before I retired. After using one of my comp days to go visit the Archives in Denver and going through microfilm for an entire day for one census, gave up.
I admire those who did all of this in that time period. There are notes in my aunt's books of book and page so I know she spent hours at courthouses.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 2, 2023 16:59:05 GMT -5
My dad is livid right now. Supposedly his GI Joe and Hot Wheels were stored at my Great Uncle's house and he has not been able to find them. He's been tearing up the house looking for them. He's mad because Grandma moved them here from Kansas and has insisted she kept them. He intended to give them to Bob and Archie someday. Plus there is the fact that his GI Joe and several of the original Hot Wheels are valuable. It feels like yet another slap in the face after all he has done for them. On top of that GU won't cooperate with the nursing home to sign the paperwork so they can be POA and do what they need to get him on Medicaid. He keeps insisting they talk to my dad. Dad tells them he is not POA and can't be POA anyhow because he has a civil conviction thanks to the other nursing home. GU is not incompetent he is more than capable of holding a damn pen and signing a form. He insists he can't because he is blind. Dad ready to be completely done with both of them. Like not even visit them anymore he is so mad at them. Which I said is his choice and isn't automatically a bad one. My dad deserves some peace and if cutting them both off gives him that then he should. I take care of grandma's finances. They are playing nice after I fought back and now the house is sold. We're in the home stretch regarding her finances. Come September I will be done with that as well the state will take over. All he would need to be involved with is end of life decisions. I feel like he has done more than enough for them with no return. It's okay to say that he's had enough and cut them out.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Mar 2, 2023 18:44:58 GMT -5
I had no interest whatsoever in genealogy when my aunt started hers. I was too busy working and trying to earn a living. I developed some interest in the early 90's before I retired. After using one of my comp days to go visit the Archives in Denver and going through microfilm for an entire day for one census, gave up. I admire those who did all of this in that time period. There are notes in my aunt's books of book and page so I know she spent hours at courthouses. When I was about 14yo, my Mom and Aunt decided to track down as many of their great grandparents’ descendants on my Grandmother’s side as they could to have a big family reunion. Their great grandparents had 12 children, so that was a lot of people to find and get in touch with. My Grandmother knew and had kept in touch with a lot of her cousins, so that helped, but it still took a lot of research back before having computers in your home and internet access was even a thing. My cousin that visited me a couple weeks ago brought it up, because some of the responsibility for keeping track of things regarding the family and family reunions has fallen to her now that my Mom and Aunt are older and not really involved anymore. My Mom and Aunt did all that awesome research, but they didn’t really keep good written records that could easily be passed down. So my cousin has a lot of people asking her where they fit in on the family tree, and she doesn’t know, because she has to piece it all together again. Years ago, I mentioned on here that I knew more about my Grandmother’s Dad’s history than her Mom’s. I basically knew nothing about her Mom’s family. A poster here, Gardening Grandma offered to research my great grandmother’s family because she was interested in that kind of thing and knew how to search for it. I accepted her offer and gave her the info I knew, and she actually found some things about my Great Grandmother and her family of origin that she shared with me. Things I never knew and was thrilled to learn. I actually shared those messages with DS last year, because he was curious. But I lost all that info in my PM’s when I deleted my account later last year, and I regret it. Gardening Grandma doesn’t even post here anymore. I will always be grateful to her for finding and sharing with me information about my Great Grandmother and her roots, even though the information is lost to me now.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 2, 2023 19:46:24 GMT -5
If she did the research on Ancestry, it is there and, unless she made the tree private you can see it.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Mar 2, 2023 20:23:25 GMT -5
DQ, I hope your dad can chill because I remember your grandma insisting on a lot of things that turned out not to be true. If they were new in the box stuff he always meant to keep, why did he not take them with him years ago? They may not even exist in that house anymore; I don't think it's worth being angry over something that apparently wasn't that important even just a couple years ago.
I know you and your dad have been through so much, but getting upset over things you do not even know are there seems a great way to ruin one's mental health.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 6, 2023 14:04:04 GMT -5
Well as if Monday didn't always suck I missed a call from the funeral home while I was in a meeting this morning. They told me they were going to mail the death certificates to me but I guess not. I called my uncle and he'll pick them up this week.
We also got our letters from the courthouse stating that grandma's will had been recorded and that we were beneficiaries. Talk about a shitty letter to get. I did have a heads up from dad on that one.
This week's goal is the estate inventory form. Then I can get that notarized, turned in and they'll open the claim period for creditors.
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snapdragon
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Post by snapdragon on Mar 8, 2023 20:28:43 GMT -5
Sending hugs to you and your family wvugurl26.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 18, 2023 15:33:24 GMT -5
The below is from a New York Times audio video about aging and dementia. It has been translated into a transcript. The audio video is a bout 30 minutes long and behind a paywall for many. I am going to copy and paste the transcript. Part will be posted as normal. The rest will be behind the SPOILER so it does not take up too much space. This Conversation Changed the Way I Think About DementiaWhen cognitive decline strikes, caregivers often resist the changes. Anne Basting says there’s another way. Thursday, March 16th, 2023 This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and emailtranscripts@nytimes.comwith any questions. Lulu Garcia-Navarro From New York Times Opinion, I’m Lulu Garcia-Navarro, and this is “First Person.” In America, one in three seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia — one in three — which means that if you don’t know someone who’s dealt with cognitive decline yet, you almost certainly will. And yet, it is so uncommon to hear stories about it. When actor Bruce Willis stepped back from the public eye a few months ago because of his dementia, it felt like an incredibly rare disclosure. So why is it that we don’t talk about this thing that’s so common? It can be incredibly hard to know what to do when someone changes, especially someone you love, someone you’ve known for decades. It can be tempting to turn away from the change, to ignore it, to cling more tightly to the person we knew. But maybe there’s another way. Anne Basting thinks there is. Ann is an artist. She’s spent her life developing a different approach to communicating with people who are experiencing cognitive decline. She believes that we need to make a world that accommodates, and even celebrates, people who are dealing with dementia. And my conversation with her actually made me feel optimistic about how I can connect with the people in my life who are forgetting who they were. Today, on “First Person,” Anne Basting on a better way to weather one of the hardest parts of aging. Anne, I’d like to start by asking what set you down this path. What were your early experiences around aging and the changes that can come with it? Anne Basting I think I was one of those kids who — I was baffled by kids my own age, especially in middle school, which you can have a lot of — let’s see. How do you describe them — mean girl?— at times of your life. Lulu Garcia-Navarro That’s how you describe them — “mean girls.” Anne Basting And I just spent a lot of time alone. It was not easy, and my mom tried her best and put me into art classes. I was the only kid in them. And it was older people — people in their 50s, maybe. And they became my friends. I developed an easy comfort with people much older than me. Lulu Garcia-Navarro And when did you first notice that aging can also come with limitations? Anne Basting I think — I think the first real profound disability I encountered that was aging-related was probably my grandmother on my mom’s side, who — I was — I didn’t see her a ton, but I was pretty close with her. She was — I’d call her a little bit of a bossy storyteller. Then, she had a stroke that really — she could no longer speak or read, and she was a really avid reader. And that was really, really tough on her. Lulu Garcia-Navarro How old were you at the time?
Anne Basting That was probably through high school, and then into college. And there was a particular moment in college when I visited her in the nursing home, and I had never been there before. So it was that alienating feeling of walking down the hallway, the empty hallway, and the antiseptic smell, and the smells that the antiseptic smell is trying to hide, and just being shocked, kind of, by a new reality for her.
And she started to, with only, like, her finger and her — this one sound she could make, kind of, guide me through a story. And the experience of that — of me guessing — is it something inside the nursing home or outside the nursing home? Is it somebody I know? Is it a family member?
It was to end up with a really specific story that we, essentially, built together — that really profoundly affected my understanding of my role as a listener. I used to think there was telling and listening. And now, I see it’s a co-creative act.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro So you’ve seen cognitive change in someone close to you. What was the moment you got interested in working with older people professionally?
Anne Basting So I was a fiction writer, a playwright, and also simultaneously, doing a PhD in theater studies, performance studies. I realized that a lot of the representation that we were looking at in theater stopped at about age 40.
[Laughs] And here, I came to this with a deep understanding and love of people much older than me. And I saw that as a place where I could kind of exercise my own, I think, natural impulses as well as comfort and expertise.
So I started both looking at representations of older people in performance and theater, and then also continuing to write roles for people. And I followed around senior theater groups across the country and wrote about how performance itself, which is, literally, taking on a new role — when you do that in late life, it totally counters, sort of, the narrative of decline and increasing rigidity. You’re, literally, expanding your roles through performance.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne finished her dissertation on senior theater groups, but she kept wondering about the people whose illnesses were so advanced, that they couldn’t perform — like people in care homes. What could creativity look like for them? So after getting her PhD, she decided to volunteer in a locked Alzheimer’s unit in Milwaukee.
Anne Basting It was profoundly sad and disorienting to be in that space. There were alarms going off, triggered by wrist or ankle bracelets from people with dementia, Alzheimer’s — and very, very loud televisions. People in the common room really pharmaceutically restrained, kind of, slumped over. And it was a place nobody wanted to be, including the people who lived and worked there.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro What was it like for you as a volunteer? I mean, it sounds demoralizing.
Anne Basting I — you know, I had the power of being an artist and of my memory of my grandmother opening to share a story. And I just kept trying. I didn’t want to quit. I didn’t want them only to have the TV, you know.
And really, the only thing out there at the time was kind of what’s called reality orientation or reminiscence therapy, which is really trying to find the trigger to kind of dislodge a memory. People will say, today is whatever day it is. It’s this time. You’re in this place, thinking that that’s going to really heal and help the person.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Basically, the idea being that if someone isn’t in touch with the reality that you and I share, that that’s something to be corrected. That’s what you mean by reality orientation.
Anne Basting Yeah, your reality orientation is kind of healing by bringing the person back to where you are, grounding them in time and place. You know, I call it a noble impulse. It’s like that’s what feels like it’s broken, and so to go there to try to heal it by supplying it to the person.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro So was the reality orientation working?
Anne Basting Um, No.
[Laughs] Week after week after week, there was about five — maybe four or five people I was working with, sitting around a little table. And sometimes they would pick up their head and kind of look at me, pushing through whatever cognitive or pharmaceutical fog was clouding them. And there was just no connection.
I thought, I just got to change tactics here. This is — this is not working. And so I, pretty much out of desperation, just ripped a picture out of a magazine, and I said, let’s try to make something up.
And the picture happened to be of the iconic cowboy of the Marlboro man character, with, like, a big wide-brimmed hat and profile in that dusty Western light. And I said, what do you want to call him? You can name him absolutely anything.
You know, and I’m so out on an edge at this point, just like, please say something. You can name him anything you want, and I’ll write it down. And they said, Fred. And then, I said, Fred who? And they said, Fred Astaire.
And I said, where do you want this to be? Oklahoma. And then, this was always like — to me — the cracking-open moment. Somebody started to sing, “Oklahoma.” And other people joined in. I joined in.
One of those musicals — I was like, thank you, Dad, for being in musicals. I actually the song. And they were with me for 45 minutes, singing and laughing. And that was just, like, so amazing to feel a contribution and a trust, and to feel the beginning of that process of shaping something together.
After that moment with the Fred Astaire story, I just repeated that over and over and over again in different settings. Could this work in adult day settings? Could it work in skilled care? Could it work in individual people’s homes?
Can I train students to do this? Can I train family caregivers to do it? Can I — homecare workers can — and so the next 20 years, really, were about repeating it, trying to boil it down into the simplest-possible process, and then give it away to as many people as possible.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Can you walk me through how it actually works? I mean, what does your approach sound like in practice?
Anne Basting Sure. So one of the people I started working with in, just, somebody living in their own home was a gentleman named Bill. He’s passed, at this point. But at that time, he had really deep communication problems, and some cognitive challenges, too.
And so Bill was living in Milwaukee alone at a care community north of the city. And I would visit him once a week, and I actually taped those conversations, so we could turn our creations into things we could share publicly.
Anne Basting Hello, Doreen. How are you?
Doreen Good.
Bill Hi, Doreen.
Doreen Hi.
Anne Basting The homecare worker, very commonly, takes my presence as an opportunity to do something else. So it was usually just me and Bill. And I brought with me questions of the day.
They’re just a question that would open the moment, and kind of poetically phrased, so that there’s no right or wrong answer. And we can build a story based on it together.
Bill (STAMMERING) That’s the — that’s the question.
Anne Basting Yeah.
Bill (STRUGGLING TO SPEAK) She [INAUDIBLE] very, very good questions.
Anne Basting He told me a story about him being obsessed with pulling rocks out of the ground at his family farm up in Charlevoix, Michigan, and just what a folly it had become in his family that he was obsessed with moving these rocks.
Bill Well, a rock that’s unique to the Charlevoix area, called the Petoskey — Petoskey — Petoskey sto — Petoskey stone. (SLOWLY) It’s named for a rather unique piece of rock with little critters in it. It was probably a variety of five other rocks — stones.
Anne Basting I asked him to describe the farm to me. He said, well, there were songs. And you know, singing — I will always invite someone to sing a song, especially after “Oklahoma.” Right? It was like magic, because you can connect through song right away. And I said, oh, my gosh, what song? And he started to sing.
Bill (SINGING) Oh, the Lord took a rib from Adam’s side. He made a woman, and the woman, she died. Pharaoh’s army got drowned. Oh, me, don’t weep.
Anne Basting With singing, his voice was probably 10 times the strength, and no hesitation whatsoever. It was a total transformation for him.
Bill (SINGING) Oh, me, don’t weep.
Anne Basting So then, the next time I came back, I had an idea. He had told me this very funny thing about rocks. I said, what is it with you and rocks, Bill? You know? And he said, well —
Bill Rocks — rocks — rocks don’t talk to me. Uh — It accepts me the way I am. And it’ll be there when I get back.
Anne Basting He said, there’s no such thing as a new rock.
[Chuckles] I just thought, we got to turn that into something. I had an idea to invite him to rewrite a song. I asked him if there were any songs about rocks, and we thought of “Rock of Ages.”
Bill (SINGING) Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee let generations —
Anne Basting But the lyrics, we wanted to change, so we, together, wrote a new song, with his stories about Charlevoix, Michigan, and the family farm — really, the poetry of his stories — as part of the song.
Bill Ebb and flow.
Anne Basting Oh, my god, you’re good. [LAUGHS]
Bill I’m good.
Anne Basting So let generations ebb and flow?
Bill Yeah. The ancestors wouldn’t like this.
Anne Basting We’re riffing on a classic.
[BILL LAUGHS]
Anne Basting There is such a powerful force in knowing that you are making something that matters. And people in that curious part of life often feel like they have no capacity to make things of value or be of value anymore.
Anne Basting All right. Should we try this thing? Let’s try it.
Bill (SINGING) Da-da-da-da-dun. Rock of ages, cleft for me.
Anne Basting Dad, just sit over here, so I can see the chords while we’re singing.
Bill Oh.
[PLAYING GUITAR]
^BOTH^ (SINGING) Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee.
Let the water and the blood, from thy wound —
Anne Basting So it had this dual impact — the interpersonal communication, and then the sense that they were contributing something in making and shaping something valuable.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro As you’re talking about how you worked with Bill, it strikes me that the shifts you’re describing intentionally require, sort of, little from the people with dementia and much more, maybe, from the people around them.
Anne Basting That’s the hardest part, I think, is the willingness to set down those — that burden of holding who the person was so firmly and supplying all the memories for the person who is losing the ability to hold them themselves. It’s asking a person to live in loss and creativity, simultaneously. I talk about it like it’s a cloud — it’s not a cloud that covers the sun.
You can’t see or feel the sun anymore. It’s more like wearing sunglasses. You can simultaneously feel the warmth and the joy of the moment and be experiencing the sorrow. It’s OK to do both.
And if you do both, you’re going to connect with the person that you thought was lost to you. You just have to let go and be willing to move into the moment and where the person is right now. And that’s — that’s hard.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro After the break, Anne finds out just how hard, when dementia enters her own family.
Anne Basting We were at a very busy pizza restaurant, and a family holiday with, maybe, 12, 15 people sitting at the table. And my mom turned to me and said, where’s Anne?
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne spent decades of her life helping caregivers and people with dementia figure out better ways of connecting. But for the most part, her work stayed out of her personal life — until about five years ago.
Anne Basting I remember it really vividly. We were up at the family cabin. And Mom and I were washing and drying dishes — and dishes we had put away thousands and thousands of times in the exact places where they go.
And Mom handed me a bowl that had been my grandmother’s and said, where does this go? And that would seem like a really innocuous thing to somebody who hadn’t spent 25 years working with people with dementia. But what I heard in that moment was, the map in my mind of this kitchen is gone, and I don’t know where this goes. And that’s a real — that was a sign that her brain was changing.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro You’re, obviously, at a very unique position of being both an expert in this field and a daughter. And I am wondering if there have been moments where it feels impossible to hold both those roles at once when you’re interacting with your mother now.
Anne Basting I never know when I go to visit her now — you know, I turn the corner. She’s on a memory care unit, in a very — I’m very lucky — very close to my house, so I can go visit her easily. And I never know, when I turn the corner, what I’m going to find in the room, where she is in the moment.
I try to hold that improvisational impulse and to open myself to it as I turn the corner and as I — our greeting for each other is, I say, hoo-hoo. And if she’s in the room, she’ll go, hoo-hoo.
[Chuckles] She knows it. And it sort of gives me a gauge of where she is and how she’s feeling.
And one time, I remember, I had to push through, because I went in the room, and it was, like, two in the afternoon, and she was just lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. And I thought, agh!
Where are the activities? I was like — I have to go talk to someone. And I kind of had this little burst of being upset.
And then, she looked so peaceful. My sister bought this beautiful, bright bedspread and big flowers on it. And I went over to her and just touched her arm. And she opened her eyes, and she smiled, and I said, do you mind if I lay down next to you? And I lay down next to her.
And we just rested together, both staring at the ceiling. I was like, gosh, this is really relaxing, actually.
[Laughs] And then, she started to giggle and laugh. And I started to laugh. And she’s like, what if somebody came in here? What would they think?
And I thought, boy, that was improvisation right there — to say, yes/and to the nap, instead of fighting it and getting her up and taking her for a walk. And that — I’ll remember sharing that laughter with her for a long time.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro It’s making me think about my own experience with people in my life who have dementia. And something that I’ve seen that is common is that people get so frightened by this change and shut people with dementia away. I’ve heard people talk about them as if they’d already died, because they are so different from the person that they knew, and that it’s easier for them to think of them that way, because it’s so painful to deal with how much they’ve changed.
Anne Basting I think people get uncomfortable, and they don’t want to say the wrong thing. You’re worried you don’t know how to be in their company. But the isolation makes both sides of the care partnership so much worse. And I also say, no good care happens in total isolation.
Both people feel abandoned. And you know, I’ve watched this field evolve, and the research in social isolation has gotten so good, that we now really see that that could even be causing some of the symptoms, you know. And that’s part of the work of mine on the systems level — is just to get these incredibly simple tools out into the water.
It can be incredibly enriching. So now, we’re really trying to do the same thing in the systems that are reaching people at home, and working at a transformative level with memory cafes, which are these informal gatherings that are just safe, nurturing, stimulating places for caregivers and people with dementia to find each other. And usually, there’s just coffee and talk and connection, and then maybe 30 to 45 minutes of creative programming, and then another chance to socialize before you go home.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro And just to understand — it’s just people come together to reminisce? I mean, what is it that they do there?
Anne Basting So you’d walk into a memory cafe. Say, there’s one in my little village of Shorewood. The cafes and grocery stores — some of them are in libraries. One’s at a botanic garden.
One’s — it’s normal life, right? Normal places where normal people who happen to be having some cognitive challenges can go and find each other. And there’s, I think, currently, 900 of them in the United States.
And I’m like, we’re doing it.
[Laughs] We can send them in all the libraries. We can put them in all the arts and culture institutions. They can be in the cafes in grocery stores. There is no reason why that supportive infrastructure shouldn’t just be everywhere.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro I mean, you sound really animated when you’re talking about this. Because it brings together all the things that you’ve been talking about, which is community, learning, creativity, and connection.
Anne Basting It’s that simple, right? And the other thing is, I am a firm believer in research, but I’ve gotten a little tired of hearing, we need more research on this, we need more research on this. Meaningful social engagement and a sense of purpose and joy in your life — we can research that for the nuances and details, but we should also know at this point that we’ll die and not thrive without that. And we should be making that available to people through every system that we can.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro As I’m hearing you talk, it feels broader to me than, simply, dementia care — that somehow, we shouldn’t be afraid of people changing even if it’s painful.
Anne Basting You know, once I, kind of, successfully — and I feel like I’ve got it down now — this simplicity of this communication technique and infusing creativity into relationships. I now see that I happened to start on that locked Alzheimer’s unit, but it’s infused into every relationship I have in my life, every encounter I have.
Every system can have this poured into it. And it just — in some ways, it happens to have started with people with Alzheimer’s and dementia, but it can really be applied to absolutely any human being.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne, thank you so much.
Anne Basting You’re welcome. Thanks for asking the questions.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro That’s Anne Basting. Her organization is called, Time Slips. And her most recent book is “Creative Care: A Revolutionary Approach to Dementia and Elder Care.” “First Person” is a production of New York Times Opinion. Tell us what you thought of this episode.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Mar 19, 2023 18:39:36 GMT -5
The podcast was interesting and is not behind the paywall.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 27, 2023 21:02:48 GMT -5
The 60 day claims period for the estate won't be opened until next Friday. I don't know why they are so slow. They got the paperwork March 20th. I put tracking on it so I know.
Today I got a copy of the estate inventory forms I had to submit, a letter outlining the dates of the claims period and a form to detail receipts and disbursements.
There's a hell of a lot of paperwork involved in dying it seems. If you had beneficiaries/TOD on everything it would be tempting to skip all the hassle.
My uncle finally has movers booked. I need to set up a plan for utilities after that.
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mathsplosion
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Joined: Dec 27, 2018 14:31:55 GMT -5
Posts: 104
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Post by mathsplosion on Mar 27, 2023 21:51:42 GMT -5
I hear you on the system being slow. My stepmom passed in March of last year and my dad passed just before Christmas. We had the (latest) initial meeting with the lawyer in January, sent in the notarized paperwork in early February, and now on Thursday have a court date. As you said, tons of paperwork to be filed and gone through. I am super thankful we have an attorney to work with us in this process.
I fly down in two weeks to start going through the house. We spent some time when I was down for the funeral digging out the paperwork we thought we'd need. Now it's time to go through the sentimental stuff and decide what to keep and what to lose. I don't envy anyone going through this process.
I meant to comment before now (but I don't comment often) to thank everyone for sharing their stories. You all helped with some of the situations we found ourselves in these past few months and gave me places to look for more information. So, thank you.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 28, 2023 8:29:19 GMT -5
My dad's estate was handled during Covid, so no in person meetings with the attorney, everything was filed electronically by him and we had to wait until a judge decided to look at estate paperwork and sign off on it.
It took about a year to settle everything.
Yes, there is a hell of a lot of paperwork involved in dying.
He only had a landline and all of the small businesses he dealt with like that, they were the only ones who required a copy of the death certificate and executor paperwork. Others were fine with a phone call.
The only bills he paid were the phone, newspaper, meals on wheels, his rent, renter's insurance. And it was the phone that had to have the death certificate.
Of course, that was required by the bank, life insurance and things like that. Nobody asked for a certified copy.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 28, 2023 11:00:55 GMT -5
The below is from a New York Times audio video about aging and dementia. It has been translated into a transcript. The audio video is a bout 30 minutes long and behind a paywall for many. I am going to copy and paste the transcript. Part will be posted as normal. The rest will be behind the SPOILER so it does not take up too much space. This Conversation Changed the Way I Think About DementiaWhen cognitive decline strikes, caregivers often resist the changes. Anne Basting says there’s another way. Thursday, March 16th, 2023 This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and emailtranscripts@nytimes.comwith any questions. Lulu Garcia-Navarro From New York Times Opinion, I’m Lulu Garcia-Navarro, and this is “First Person.” In America, one in three seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia — one in three — which means that if you don’t know someone who’s dealt with cognitive decline yet, you almost certainly will. And yet, it is so uncommon to hear stories about it. When actor Bruce Willis stepped back from the public eye a few months ago because of his dementia, it felt like an incredibly rare disclosure. So why is it that we don’t talk about this thing that’s so common? It can be incredibly hard to know what to do when someone changes, especially someone you love, someone you’ve known for decades. It can be tempting to turn away from the change, to ignore it, to cling more tightly to the person we knew. But maybe there’s another way. Anne Basting thinks there is. Ann is an artist. She’s spent her life developing a different approach to communicating with people who are experiencing cognitive decline. She believes that we need to make a world that accommodates, and even celebrates, people who are dealing with dementia. And my conversation with her actually made me feel optimistic about how I can connect with the people in my life who are forgetting who they were. Today, on “First Person,” Anne Basting on a better way to weather one of the hardest parts of aging. Anne, I’d like to start by asking what set you down this path. What were your early experiences around aging and the changes that can come with it? Anne Basting I think I was one of those kids who — I was baffled by kids my own age, especially in middle school, which you can have a lot of — let’s see. How do you describe them — mean girl?— at times of your life. Lulu Garcia-Navarro That’s how you describe them — “mean girls.” Anne Basting And I just spent a lot of time alone. It was not easy, and my mom tried her best and put me into art classes. I was the only kid in them. And it was older people — people in their 50s, maybe. And they became my friends. I developed an easy comfort with people much older than me. Lulu Garcia-Navarro And when did you first notice that aging can also come with limitations? Anne Basting I think — I think the first real profound disability I encountered that was aging-related was probably my grandmother on my mom’s side, who — I was — I didn’t see her a ton, but I was pretty close with her. She was — I’d call her a little bit of a bossy storyteller. Then, she had a stroke that really — she could no longer speak or read, and she was a really avid reader. And that was really, really tough on her. Lulu Garcia-Navarro How old were you at the time?
Anne Basting That was probably through high school, and then into college. And there was a particular moment in college when I visited her in the nursing home, and I had never been there before. So it was that alienating feeling of walking down the hallway, the empty hallway, and the antiseptic smell, and the smells that the antiseptic smell is trying to hide, and just being shocked, kind of, by a new reality for her.
And she started to, with only, like, her finger and her — this one sound she could make, kind of, guide me through a story. And the experience of that — of me guessing — is it something inside the nursing home or outside the nursing home? Is it somebody I know? Is it a family member?
It was to end up with a really specific story that we, essentially, built together — that really profoundly affected my understanding of my role as a listener. I used to think there was telling and listening. And now, I see it’s a co-creative act.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro So you’ve seen cognitive change in someone close to you. What was the moment you got interested in working with older people professionally?
Anne Basting So I was a fiction writer, a playwright, and also simultaneously, doing a PhD in theater studies, performance studies. I realized that a lot of the representation that we were looking at in theater stopped at about age 40.
[Laughs] And here, I came to this with a deep understanding and love of people much older than me. And I saw that as a place where I could kind of exercise my own, I think, natural impulses as well as comfort and expertise.
So I started both looking at representations of older people in performance and theater, and then also continuing to write roles for people. And I followed around senior theater groups across the country and wrote about how performance itself, which is, literally, taking on a new role — when you do that in late life, it totally counters, sort of, the narrative of decline and increasing rigidity. You’re, literally, expanding your roles through performance.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne finished her dissertation on senior theater groups, but she kept wondering about the people whose illnesses were so advanced, that they couldn’t perform — like people in care homes. What could creativity look like for them? So after getting her PhD, she decided to volunteer in a locked Alzheimer’s unit in Milwaukee.
Anne Basting It was profoundly sad and disorienting to be in that space. There were alarms going off, triggered by wrist or ankle bracelets from people with dementia, Alzheimer’s — and very, very loud televisions. People in the common room really pharmaceutically restrained, kind of, slumped over. And it was a place nobody wanted to be, including the people who lived and worked there.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro What was it like for you as a volunteer? I mean, it sounds demoralizing.
Anne Basting I — you know, I had the power of being an artist and of my memory of my grandmother opening to share a story. And I just kept trying. I didn’t want to quit. I didn’t want them only to have the TV, you know.
And really, the only thing out there at the time was kind of what’s called reality orientation or reminiscence therapy, which is really trying to find the trigger to kind of dislodge a memory. People will say, today is whatever day it is. It’s this time. You’re in this place, thinking that that’s going to really heal and help the person.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Basically, the idea being that if someone isn’t in touch with the reality that you and I share, that that’s something to be corrected. That’s what you mean by reality orientation.
Anne Basting Yeah, your reality orientation is kind of healing by bringing the person back to where you are, grounding them in time and place. You know, I call it a noble impulse. It’s like that’s what feels like it’s broken, and so to go there to try to heal it by supplying it to the person.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro So was the reality orientation working?
Anne Basting Um, No.
[Laughs] Week after week after week, there was about five — maybe four or five people I was working with, sitting around a little table. And sometimes they would pick up their head and kind of look at me, pushing through whatever cognitive or pharmaceutical fog was clouding them. And there was just no connection.
I thought, I just got to change tactics here. This is — this is not working. And so I, pretty much out of desperation, just ripped a picture out of a magazine, and I said, let’s try to make something up.
And the picture happened to be of the iconic cowboy of the Marlboro man character, with, like, a big wide-brimmed hat and profile in that dusty Western light. And I said, what do you want to call him? You can name him absolutely anything.
You know, and I’m so out on an edge at this point, just like, please say something. You can name him anything you want, and I’ll write it down. And they said, Fred. And then, I said, Fred who? And they said, Fred Astaire.
And I said, where do you want this to be? Oklahoma. And then, this was always like — to me — the cracking-open moment. Somebody started to sing, “Oklahoma.” And other people joined in. I joined in.
One of those musicals — I was like, thank you, Dad, for being in musicals. I actually the song. And they were with me for 45 minutes, singing and laughing. And that was just, like, so amazing to feel a contribution and a trust, and to feel the beginning of that process of shaping something together.
After that moment with the Fred Astaire story, I just repeated that over and over and over again in different settings. Could this work in adult day settings? Could it work in skilled care? Could it work in individual people’s homes?
Can I train students to do this? Can I train family caregivers to do it? Can I — homecare workers can — and so the next 20 years, really, were about repeating it, trying to boil it down into the simplest-possible process, and then give it away to as many people as possible.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Can you walk me through how it actually works? I mean, what does your approach sound like in practice?
Anne Basting Sure. So one of the people I started working with in, just, somebody living in their own home was a gentleman named Bill. He’s passed, at this point. But at that time, he had really deep communication problems, and some cognitive challenges, too.
And so Bill was living in Milwaukee alone at a care community north of the city. And I would visit him once a week, and I actually taped those conversations, so we could turn our creations into things we could share publicly.
Anne Basting Hello, Doreen. How are you?
Doreen Good.
Bill Hi, Doreen.
Doreen Hi.
Anne Basting The homecare worker, very commonly, takes my presence as an opportunity to do something else. So it was usually just me and Bill. And I brought with me questions of the day.
They’re just a question that would open the moment, and kind of poetically phrased, so that there’s no right or wrong answer. And we can build a story based on it together.
Bill (STAMMERING) That’s the — that’s the question.
Anne Basting Yeah.
Bill (STRUGGLING TO SPEAK) She [INAUDIBLE] very, very good questions.
Anne Basting He told me a story about him being obsessed with pulling rocks out of the ground at his family farm up in Charlevoix, Michigan, and just what a folly it had become in his family that he was obsessed with moving these rocks.
Bill Well, a rock that’s unique to the Charlevoix area, called the Petoskey — Petoskey — Petoskey sto — Petoskey stone. (SLOWLY) It’s named for a rather unique piece of rock with little critters in it. It was probably a variety of five other rocks — stones.
Anne Basting I asked him to describe the farm to me. He said, well, there were songs. And you know, singing — I will always invite someone to sing a song, especially after “Oklahoma.” Right? It was like magic, because you can connect through song right away. And I said, oh, my gosh, what song? And he started to sing.
Bill (SINGING) Oh, the Lord took a rib from Adam’s side. He made a woman, and the woman, she died. Pharaoh’s army got drowned. Oh, me, don’t weep.
Anne Basting With singing, his voice was probably 10 times the strength, and no hesitation whatsoever. It was a total transformation for him.
Bill (SINGING) Oh, me, don’t weep.
Anne Basting So then, the next time I came back, I had an idea. He had told me this very funny thing about rocks. I said, what is it with you and rocks, Bill? You know? And he said, well —
Bill Rocks — rocks — rocks don’t talk to me. Uh — It accepts me the way I am. And it’ll be there when I get back.
Anne Basting He said, there’s no such thing as a new rock.
[Chuckles] I just thought, we got to turn that into something. I had an idea to invite him to rewrite a song. I asked him if there were any songs about rocks, and we thought of “Rock of Ages.”
Bill (SINGING) Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee let generations —
Anne Basting But the lyrics, we wanted to change, so we, together, wrote a new song, with his stories about Charlevoix, Michigan, and the family farm — really, the poetry of his stories — as part of the song.
Bill Ebb and flow.
Anne Basting Oh, my god, you’re good. [LAUGHS]
Bill I’m good.
Anne Basting So let generations ebb and flow?
Bill Yeah. The ancestors wouldn’t like this.
Anne Basting We’re riffing on a classic.
[BILL LAUGHS]
Anne Basting There is such a powerful force in knowing that you are making something that matters. And people in that curious part of life often feel like they have no capacity to make things of value or be of value anymore.
Anne Basting All right. Should we try this thing? Let’s try it.
Bill (SINGING) Da-da-da-da-dun. Rock of ages, cleft for me.
Anne Basting Dad, just sit over here, so I can see the chords while we’re singing.
Bill Oh.
[PLAYING GUITAR]
^BOTH^ (SINGING) Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in thee.
Let the water and the blood, from thy wound —
Anne Basting So it had this dual impact — the interpersonal communication, and then the sense that they were contributing something in making and shaping something valuable.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro As you’re talking about how you worked with Bill, it strikes me that the shifts you’re describing intentionally require, sort of, little from the people with dementia and much more, maybe, from the people around them.
Anne Basting That’s the hardest part, I think, is the willingness to set down those — that burden of holding who the person was so firmly and supplying all the memories for the person who is losing the ability to hold them themselves. It’s asking a person to live in loss and creativity, simultaneously. I talk about it like it’s a cloud — it’s not a cloud that covers the sun.
You can’t see or feel the sun anymore. It’s more like wearing sunglasses. You can simultaneously feel the warmth and the joy of the moment and be experiencing the sorrow. It’s OK to do both.
And if you do both, you’re going to connect with the person that you thought was lost to you. You just have to let go and be willing to move into the moment and where the person is right now. And that’s — that’s hard.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro After the break, Anne finds out just how hard, when dementia enters her own family.
Anne Basting We were at a very busy pizza restaurant, and a family holiday with, maybe, 12, 15 people sitting at the table. And my mom turned to me and said, where’s Anne?
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne spent decades of her life helping caregivers and people with dementia figure out better ways of connecting. But for the most part, her work stayed out of her personal life — until about five years ago.
Anne Basting I remember it really vividly. We were up at the family cabin. And Mom and I were washing and drying dishes — and dishes we had put away thousands and thousands of times in the exact places where they go.
And Mom handed me a bowl that had been my grandmother’s and said, where does this go? And that would seem like a really innocuous thing to somebody who hadn’t spent 25 years working with people with dementia. But what I heard in that moment was, the map in my mind of this kitchen is gone, and I don’t know where this goes. And that’s a real — that was a sign that her brain was changing.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro You’re, obviously, at a very unique position of being both an expert in this field and a daughter. And I am wondering if there have been moments where it feels impossible to hold both those roles at once when you’re interacting with your mother now.
Anne Basting I never know when I go to visit her now — you know, I turn the corner. She’s on a memory care unit, in a very — I’m very lucky — very close to my house, so I can go visit her easily. And I never know, when I turn the corner, what I’m going to find in the room, where she is in the moment.
I try to hold that improvisational impulse and to open myself to it as I turn the corner and as I — our greeting for each other is, I say, hoo-hoo. And if she’s in the room, she’ll go, hoo-hoo.
[Chuckles] She knows it. And it sort of gives me a gauge of where she is and how she’s feeling.
And one time, I remember, I had to push through, because I went in the room, and it was, like, two in the afternoon, and she was just lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. And I thought, agh!
Where are the activities? I was like — I have to go talk to someone. And I kind of had this little burst of being upset.
And then, she looked so peaceful. My sister bought this beautiful, bright bedspread and big flowers on it. And I went over to her and just touched her arm. And she opened her eyes, and she smiled, and I said, do you mind if I lay down next to you? And I lay down next to her.
And we just rested together, both staring at the ceiling. I was like, gosh, this is really relaxing, actually.
[Laughs] And then, she started to giggle and laugh. And I started to laugh. And she’s like, what if somebody came in here? What would they think?
And I thought, boy, that was improvisation right there — to say, yes/and to the nap, instead of fighting it and getting her up and taking her for a walk. And that — I’ll remember sharing that laughter with her for a long time.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro It’s making me think about my own experience with people in my life who have dementia. And something that I’ve seen that is common is that people get so frightened by this change and shut people with dementia away. I’ve heard people talk about them as if they’d already died, because they are so different from the person that they knew, and that it’s easier for them to think of them that way, because it’s so painful to deal with how much they’ve changed.
Anne Basting I think people get uncomfortable, and they don’t want to say the wrong thing. You’re worried you don’t know how to be in their company. But the isolation makes both sides of the care partnership so much worse. And I also say, no good care happens in total isolation.
Both people feel abandoned. And you know, I’ve watched this field evolve, and the research in social isolation has gotten so good, that we now really see that that could even be causing some of the symptoms, you know. And that’s part of the work of mine on the systems level — is just to get these incredibly simple tools out into the water.
It can be incredibly enriching. So now, we’re really trying to do the same thing in the systems that are reaching people at home, and working at a transformative level with memory cafes, which are these informal gatherings that are just safe, nurturing, stimulating places for caregivers and people with dementia to find each other. And usually, there’s just coffee and talk and connection, and then maybe 30 to 45 minutes of creative programming, and then another chance to socialize before you go home.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro And just to understand — it’s just people come together to reminisce? I mean, what is it that they do there?
Anne Basting So you’d walk into a memory cafe. Say, there’s one in my little village of Shorewood. The cafes and grocery stores — some of them are in libraries. One’s at a botanic garden.
One’s — it’s normal life, right? Normal places where normal people who happen to be having some cognitive challenges can go and find each other. And there’s, I think, currently, 900 of them in the United States.
And I’m like, we’re doing it.
[Laughs] We can send them in all the libraries. We can put them in all the arts and culture institutions. They can be in the cafes in grocery stores. There is no reason why that supportive infrastructure shouldn’t just be everywhere.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro I mean, you sound really animated when you’re talking about this. Because it brings together all the things that you’ve been talking about, which is community, learning, creativity, and connection.
Anne Basting It’s that simple, right? And the other thing is, I am a firm believer in research, but I’ve gotten a little tired of hearing, we need more research on this, we need more research on this. Meaningful social engagement and a sense of purpose and joy in your life — we can research that for the nuances and details, but we should also know at this point that we’ll die and not thrive without that. And we should be making that available to people through every system that we can.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro As I’m hearing you talk, it feels broader to me than, simply, dementia care — that somehow, we shouldn’t be afraid of people changing even if it’s painful.
Anne Basting You know, once I, kind of, successfully — and I feel like I’ve got it down now — this simplicity of this communication technique and infusing creativity into relationships. I now see that I happened to start on that locked Alzheimer’s unit, but it’s infused into every relationship I have in my life, every encounter I have.
Every system can have this poured into it. And it just — in some ways, it happens to have started with people with Alzheimer’s and dementia, but it can really be applied to absolutely any human being.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro Anne, thank you so much.
Anne Basting You’re welcome. Thanks for asking the questions.
Lulu Garcia-Navarro That’s Anne Basting. Her organization is called, Time Slips. And her most recent book is “Creative Care: A Revolutionary Approach to Dementia and Elder Care.” “First Person” is a production of New York Times Opinion. Tell us what you thought of this episode. Thanks for this Tennesseer. My Mom has the beginning stages of Dementia. She is just starting to get a bit worse. I am going to order the book and look into any group activities I might be able to get my Mom into. It looks like she is in the Milwaukee area too.
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