Battling Depression

[finnime]

azucena, you are doing a great job as a mother. That your DD has a place to express herself will lead to the strength and resilience she needs to cope with life and thrive. I agree with Geena, your DD will find it easier to recognize the good with you and with life because she has a place to let out the bad feelings.

[buystoys]

Big hugs to all of you!  You've all said what I feel so succinctly. 

[TheOtherMe]

The only diagnosis I ever had was major depression.  Then I had to find someone knew.  My family doctor referred me to a psychiatrist.  I didn't realize that he first diagnosed his patients and then recommended medications as he felt were appropriate.

We had two 90 minute sessions where he got information from me.  The 3rd session, he explained with diagrams what he saw as my diagnosis of bipolar II.  I could see on the charts that was how my brains works but hearing bipolar scared me to death.  He said it did almost everyone but bipolar II is not bipolar I.  

I get the lows but I don't get the mania except one day a year and I clean my house like crazy.  

The medications he prescribed have been tweaked.  One we totally changed when I moved here because it can cause liver damage and my doctor didn't like my liver numbers.  Another medication was added when we switched that medication.  Dosages have been changed over time, too.

[finnime]

Jun 4, 2022 5:28:27 GMT -5 buystoys said:

Big hugs to all of you!  You've all said what I feel so succinctly. 

Hope you're doing okay, buystoys.

[finnime]

Fueled by now-waning anxiety, I have been preparing for our move to Massachusetts this Friday. Fortunately I've not been waylaid by depression so far this year. An ongoing worry is my DD36. She is doing well given that she has struggled for many years now with bipolar disorder. When she was a teen she was nearly lost to it.

As she was separated and then divorced, she was really felled by her condition. I helped her with basic things like running errands and keeping her company, and then helped her find another place to live in the same county as the one I was in. Her apartment is nice, but she cannot afford it on her own. She hasn't worked in a number of years now; she's a nurse, but cannot focus or garner the stamina needed to stay working. She also has some mobility issues and uses a cane. She's been on SSDI now for about 7 years, I think. She also doesn't drive or have a car. Where she is now she can get around with public transportation and Uber.

She will miss me and I, her. She is incredibly bright, funny, thoughtful and terrific company. One issue bipolar people often have is the lack of insight into their own doings. DD is getting better with that, too, with the help of her very excellent therapist. I worry about her.

[TheOtherMe]

I'm sure she knows you are a phone call away if she needs to talk.  Will she do that?

Would it be possible for her to move closer to you or are all of her services set up where she is now?

[finnime]

Yes, she calls and texts me now, in fact. All of her services are in place here: PCP, therapist, psychiatrist. She gets SNAP and Medicare assistance. She is on the list for a housing voucher and if she moves she'll go back to the bottom of the list in the new place. I have no idea how far she is from the bottom now. Once she does get a voucher she can take it any where in the country after one year. I can't afford her rent indefinitely.


I'd like her to move near to us. We have family in the area in Massachusetts including her cousins. It is one of the chief reasons I have more moving there. She is why I delayed making the decision as long as I did.

I worry.

[TheOtherMe]

I know about the housing vouchers and that they can be transferred after a year.  I hope she is getting near the top of the list and can get a place for a year and then move closer to you.

You are a mother finnime.  Of course, you worry.   

[azucena]

My favorite aunt is depressed and more seriously suffering from short term memory loss that seems to have come on suddenly. Fortunately, her husband is taking good care of her, almost too good shielding her from everyone because she's embarrassed. She's in her mid 70s. Anyone have advice on the memory loss? She's passed dementia, alz, and various cancer screenings.

[finnime]

Depression is often associated with memory loss, so it may be that, azucena. Is she being treated? I'd start with her treating psychiatrist. It may be a change in medication is warranted. Hoping good follows for your aunt.

[azucena]

Yes, she is seeing someone and taking depression meds. I'm getting my info thirdhand, but I called another aunt tonight and offered up the name of the medicine that works for me and mentioned genetic testing for medicine selection hoping to help a little. She can't drive because she forgets where she is. She was completely fine 3 months ago.

[TheOtherMe]

If the same dementia screening was used for your aunt as was used on my dad, you have to be way in to it not to pass.  Dad passed it about 9 months before he died of dementia.

[finnime]

PBS show that could be of interest to you or someone you know:

youth mental illness

[finnime]

I've got to find a psychiatrist in this area now that we've moved. Will make this a priority on Monday. I'm down to my last month's meds. I cannot afford to run out. I am a great procrastinator or I would have done this already. Need to find a doctor that accepts Medicare and can see me in the next couple of weeks. And, is good!

[TheOtherMe]

Good luck with finding a doctor.  

Yes, a good one is a necessity.  Even though I am having an eventful summer, I still find myself with days of despair.

Such is my life.

Yes, I am taking my meds.

[finnime]

There are times when I wish I didn't need medications. They are fleeting. It's not hard to recall what a profound difference they have made in my life. Actually, the fact that I'm still living is something I attribute in great part to medication.

DH, when we first met, disparaged medications for depression, thinking that people used them as a crutch rather than grapple with reality. I very quickly disabused him of that idea. When I fell into the sinkhole, needing a meds adjustment, he saw immediately how critical they are for me. I could not function well, or at all sometimes, without them.

But it would be nice to not need them.

[anciana]

finnime, I've been reading about your relocating adventures in awe, knowing how you mentioned before that the summers are sometimes harder for you (I think that was you). I wish you best of luck in your search for a new doctor, hopefully it won't be too difficult and you can get in soon!


TheOtherMe, I've read with delight about your travels and time spent with the Toddler and your beloved nephew. I am sorry there are still days of despair. Wishing you all the best!


I am greatly encouraged by all the experiences all of you are sharing here. Thank you!

[anciana]

A question about medication: is it reasonable to be on the 3rd medication (actually 4th combination) within a 2 year period? How long did it take you to find the right meds that worked longer term?  

[finnime]

Jul 25, 2022 12:57:44 GMT -5 anciana said:

A question about medication: is it reasonable to be on the 3rd medication (actually 4th combination) within a 2 year period? How long did it take you to find the right meds that worked longer term?  

IME that is very reasonable. Unfortunately many meds take weeks to confirm or not their efficacy for you. My former doctor was very good about finding some quick-acting meds when I was in real trouble that would bridge me over to a stable mix. One of those quick-acting meds is something I take at a low dose ongoing now.

Many medications only work best in combination with other meds, too. It is both an art and a science to find the right combination. And you, as a patient, need to be ready to report any significant side effects. I wish you the best.

[anciana]

Jul 25, 2022 14:24:40 GMT -5 finnime said:

Jul 25, 2022 12:57:44 GMT -5 anciana said:

A question about medication: is it reasonable to be on the 3rd medication (actually 4th combination) within a 2 year period? How long did it take you to find the right meds that worked longer term?  

IME that is very reasonable. Unfortunately many meds take weeks to confirm or not their efficacy for you. My former doctor was very good about finding some quick-acting meds when I was in real trouble that would bridge me over to a stable mix. One of those quick-acting meds is something I take at a low dose ongoing now.

Many medications only work best in combination with other meds, too. It is both an art and a science to find the right combination. And you, as a patient, need to be ready to report any significant side effects. I wish you the best.

Thank you very much for your kind response, I just hope we can keep them alive long enough for the doctors to find the right med/combo. We've been suspended in this terrifying position for so long and just scared that all the support we've surrounded them with is still not enough.

[TheOtherMe]

It's a fine line to dance anciana  

For me, it was several combinations of medications.  Most take a while to  get to the full dose so it doesn't show the true effect for a while.    I could tell some did not work very quickly.  For some, I couldn't handle the side effects.  

I've been on this combination for at least 15 years.  One of the drugs I asked to be taken off of because of the damage it does to the liver.  My doctor did so and we found a different drug that is working.

Good luck.