debthaven
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 7, 2015 15:26:39 GMT -5
Posts: 10,325
Member is Online
|
Post by debthaven on May 2, 2022 15:26:53 GMT -5
Thank you busymom I truly appreciate it. I'm happy that your new puppy is giving you joy. The two of them must keep you busy, and give you a lot of laughs!
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,160
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on May 2, 2022 18:53:30 GMT -5
Anxiety can be very close to depression. I can usually handle the anxiety NOW after many years of therapy. It's the depression I can not handle on my own. I am so sorry azucena
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,717
|
Post by raeoflyte on May 2, 2022 19:05:26 GMT -5
I would loop in homeroom teacher to possible recess harassment. The girls shouldn't be left to deal with obnoxious comments because of an anatomy class without learning how to deal with that- and everyone also taught when/how comments steer into being unacceptable.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on May 3, 2022 4:25:06 GMT -5
And anxiety and depression are both battles needing support, so here we are.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2022 14:22:10 GMT -5
I have started to think maybe I am depressed. I don’t feel hopeless or even really sad. I kinda don’t really feel anything at all. Just very apathetic. I’ve been running on fumes for so long because of my horrible insomnia, now I feel like I don’t even have fumes to keep me going.
Everything has become a struggle. I really struggle to make myself do anything anymore, and I often fail at trying to talk myself into doing stuff. I don’t want to take care of my hair, I’ve stopped taking care of my skin, I don’t even really want to take showers. I do force myself to take showers though, I’d be horrified if Mister told me I stink. I don’t care if I look a mess or if the house is a mess, which it is. I haven’t been to work since Wednesday. I didn’t get out of bed until the afternoon yesterday and today. All of that is very unusual for me, not taking care of myself and not really caring about my appearance. And even when I don’t feel well physically, I at least get out of bed.
Lately, when my alarm goes off in the morning, I start sweating for some reason sometimes.
I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. And I’m obviously not doing too well with figuring it out by myself, since I’m getting worse instead of better. And at the rate I’m going, Imma have something to be depressed about for real, losing my job.
I called the “sleep lady’s” office to see if she can help me with depression or whatever my problem is besides insomnia, or do I need to find someone different for that. Whoever answered the phone said they will give her a message and she will call me. I hope she does call me before the end of business today.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2022 15:14:07 GMT -5
She did call me back. She said she can help me with depression or whatever it is I have going on too, or she can refer me to someone to help me for a longer term if I felt like that’s what I need. Idk what the heck I need, I just know I need help, that’s why I called her.
She ended up saying we can talk about it at my next appointment with her next week.
I am feeling kind of defeated right now.
|
|
buystoys
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 4:58:12 GMT -5
Posts: 5,650
|
Post by buystoys on May 6, 2022 15:15:00 GMT -5
Pink, I would look for someone who specializes in depression or other psychiatric problems. Do you have EAP through your job? A lot of times they have a few free sessions to help you determine whether or not you need care. You may also need a pharmacology nurse. That's a RN who's certified in a specialty to write your prescriptions. I had both a therapist and a pharmacology nurse. I see the nurse every three months for refills and we have a brief discussion about how I'm doing. It's helpful to keep me on track. I hope you find the help you need. ETA: Pink! Please don't feel defeated. We're here for you and you CAN get this taken care of.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2022 15:32:38 GMT -5
Pink, I would look for someone who specializes in depression or other psychiatric problems. Do you have EAP through your job? A lot of times they have a few free sessions to help you determine whether or not you need care. You may also need a pharmacology nurse. That's a RN who's certified in a specialty to write your prescriptions. I had both a therapist and a pharmacology nurse. I see the nurse every three months for refills and we have a brief discussion about how I'm doing. It's helpful to keep me on track. I hope you find the help you need. ETA: Pink! Please don't feel defeated. We're here for you and you CAN get this taken care of. Yes, I have EAP through my job. I’ve used it before, several years ago. I think I still have her phone number. Maybe I should’ve called her first, idk. Thank you!
|
|
CCL
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:34:47 GMT -5
Posts: 7,592
|
Post by CCL on May 6, 2022 16:14:04 GMT -5
@pinkcshmere Also, I just want to say thank you to all of you. It's good to know you are here and truly care.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,160
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on May 6, 2022 17:01:36 GMT -5
@pinkcshmere Sounds like you need to talk to someone. Do not be afraid. There is help out there for you.
We are here in the meantime--even if we are not professionals.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2022 19:40:06 GMT -5
@pinkcshmere Sounds like you need to talk to someone. Do not be afraid. There is help out there for you. We are here in the meantime--even if we are not professionals. I’m not really afraid of seeking help. I am kind of reluctant though to be completely honest about how I feel and what’s going on with me. About 9 years ago, I had some mystery ailment that I kept going to my Doctor for, and going to whatever specialists she sent me to to try to figure out what was going on with me. I think I talked about it here back then. I would feel like I had a fever, with the body aches to match, but my temperature was always normal, usually just under what is considered normal, in fact. At first I was told it was because I had the sinus infection from hell, which I ended up having nasal polyps removed to fix. But about a week after that surgery, I had the same horrible feeling again, when I went to loan a friend one of my carpet cleaners and saw that it was full of mold. I immediately put the carpet cleaner in the trash, and thought maybe I’d stumbled upon what was causing the issues I was having, that it was due to things in my environment. I felt the same way on a bike ride once, when I smelled the strong odor of sulfur in the air from a nearby factory. I also immediately felt bad when at my job, they were using chemicals to “mop” the floors, which is really intended to keep asbestos in the floors from being released in the air, as much as it is to make the floors look better. Same thing when DD used Fabuloso to clean, I had to insist she not use Fabuloso and that Mister not use it at his house. The ENT that did the polyp surgery said that coming into contact with mold wouldn’t cause me to feel the way I did. So I didn’t even bother talking about the other times I could identify something I was around that made me feel the way I did. I was running to doctors and doing everything I was advised to do, but I still kept feeling like shit, and it was like no one was taking me serious about how bad I was feeling. My PCP ran a lot of tests, but the tests just told us what I didn’t have, like autoimmune disorders and such. The tests didn’t point us to what was really wrong with me. So I gave up and stopped spending my time and money trying to find answers. I started just trying to stay away from things I could identify that made me feel so bad. A couple years ago, some coworkers started scattering mothballs in my work area because they’d seen mice. The mothballs caused the same reaction for me, and I made a big deal about it, until the mothballs were removed for good. I didn’t want to be an asshole about the mothballs, but there was no denying that I felt like crap when I was around them. And because we have policies about chemicals in our workplace, I did make a big deal about it. The whole experience of not taking me seriously and poo pooing what I had started to figure out triggered my feeling so bad, kind of soured me on expecting doctors to really help me. I don’t have any choice but to try to get professional help for my most recent issues, but it is still in the back of my mind that I might be treated again like I’m just being trifling and making stuff up. I’m pretty sure that’s what my bosses and coworkers think now, that I am just being trifling and don’t want to come to work. So idek what to tell my boss when I go back to work, he is still going to think whatever he thinks, so why even bother trying to explain myself? It won’t matter, and I’m in trouble anyway. I’ve mostly never “wanted” to go to work at my job, so that part is true, but I’ve been doing it every day for over 20 years regardless, so whether or not I “want” to go isn’t the issue. I’ve been doing shit I don’t really want to do for most of my adult life. To me, that’s just part of being an adult with responsibilities. It’s not all fun and games, and sometimes it just is whatever it is, and you just do what you have to do. I feel like maybe I’m not even making sense, so Imma just shut up now.
|
|
CCL
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:34:47 GMT -5
Posts: 7,592
|
Post by CCL on May 6, 2022 20:23:30 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2022 20:42:17 GMT -5
I read the article you linked, thank you for posting it. I have felt since that time that I am sensitive to some chemicals. I made a few changes in my household several years ago, because I’d started to believe that. I started using more “natural” products for everything from soap to cleaning supplies, but I do still use some chemicals for cleaning my house, but I choose products that don’t make me feel sick, like Fabuloso. One of the things nobody wanted to listen to me about, was that I started having those issues shortly after I bought a shag carpet for my den. It covered the floor in the den, with a couple inches left bare between each wall and the carpet. My reading said that new carpet releases a lot of harmful gases. So one of the other things I did after not getting help from Doctors, was buy plants that supposedly help “clean” the air (most of which I quickly killed unintentionally). And let fresh air in through open windows, whenever the weather allowed it. Which meant I had even more sinus issues, because I’m pretty much allergic to everything outside. But if I had to choose, I preferred to be congested and whatever, than feel like I did so often for those unknown reasons. I don’t get short of breath. I just start feeling like I have a fever and my body starts aching. Mostly my upper body, which a Doctor actually responded to with, “well at least it’s not your legs”. Wtf?! I’m telling you I feel like a truck ran over me, and that’s all you have to say, is at least my legs don’t ache?!
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,694
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on May 6, 2022 21:02:24 GMT -5
Pink if its chemicals you might have to track it down yourself. I am sensitive to certain things like Sucralose the artificial sugar and have had issues with some meds too.
I hope you can find whatever it is. There used to be books that covered chemical sensitivities that some people have.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on May 6, 2022 22:23:55 GMT -5
This is a tough one, @pinkcshmere. It is a real crime that you were not responded to appropriately by medical people listening in the past.
Some of the problems you note, for me, spell depression: apathy, lethargy, feeling hopeless or helpless but unable to do anything about it, insomnia, and even body aches. I feel all of those things in bouts of depression. Sometimes I feel nothing at all, just flat.
Good therapists and the right medication, if it is depression, can be life-changing. I wish for you that you can find good help from the right doctors. If it is at core a multiple chemical sensitivity plaguing you, addressing that along with the depression stemming from not getting the help you need, will be a great thing.
I've found that it's not an aha! moment when all is clear. Instead, it's a gradual improvement that you notice over time until you realize you are not empty and not miserable, but are finding nuggets of happiness in your days.
Thinking of you.
|
|
saveinla
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 2:00:29 GMT -5
Posts: 5,222
|
Post by saveinla on May 6, 2022 22:48:12 GMT -5
I read the article you linked, thank you for posting it. I have felt since that time that I am sensitive to some chemicals. I made a few changes in my household several years ago, because I’d started to believe that. I started using more “natural” products for everything from soap to cleaning supplies, but I do still use some chemicals for cleaning my house, but I choose products that don’t make me feel sick, like Fabuloso. One of the things nobody wanted to listen to me about, was that I started having those issues shortly after I bought a shag carpet for my den. It covered the floor in the den, with a couple inches left bare between each wall and the carpet. My reading said that new carpet releases a lot of harmful gases. So one of the other things I did after not getting help from Doctors, was buy plants that supposedly help “clean” the air (most of which I quickly killed unintentionally). And let fresh air in through open windows, whenever the weather allowed it. Which meant I had even more sinus issues, because I’m pretty much allergic to everything outside. But if I had to choose, I preferred to be congested and whatever, than feel like I did so often for those unknown reasons. I don’t get short of breath. I just start feeling like I have a fever and my body starts aching. Mostly my upper body, which a Doctor actually responded to with, “well at least it’s not your legs”. Wtf?! I’m telling you I feel like a truck ran over me, and that’s all you have to say, is at least my legs don’t ache?! Pink Cashmere - did you replace your wood floors - there was a program on 60 minutes that wood treated with some chemicals caused a lot of problems - a lot of the chemicals used for not causing staining etc. cause issues for some people. Anyways good luck on finding your issue.
|
|
buystoys
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 4:58:12 GMT -5
Posts: 5,650
|
Post by buystoys on May 7, 2022 4:38:49 GMT -5
@pinkcshmere Sounds like you need to talk to someone. Do not be afraid. There is help out there for you. We are here in the meantime--even if we are not professionals. I’m not really afraid of seeking help. I am kind of reluctant though to be completely honest about how I feel and what’s going on with me. About 9 years ago, I had some mystery ailment that I kept going to my Doctor for, and going to whatever specialists she sent me to to try to figure out what was going on with me. I think I talked about it here back then. I would feel like I had a fever, with the body aches to match, but my temperature was always normal, usually just under what is considered normal, in fact. At first I was told it was because I had the sinus infection from hell, which I ended up having nasal polyps removed to fix. But about a week after that surgery, I had the same horrible feeling again, when I went to loan a friend one of my carpet cleaners and saw that it was full of mold. I immediately put the carpet cleaner in the trash, and thought maybe I’d stumbled upon what was causing the issues I was having, that it was due to things in my environment. I felt the same way on a bike ride once, when I smelled the strong odor of sulfur in the air from a nearby factory. I also immediately felt bad when at my job, they were using chemicals to “mop” the floors, which is really intended to keep asbestos in the floors from being released in the air, as much as it is to make the floors look better. Same thing when DD used Fabuloso to clean, I had to insist she not use Fabuloso and that Mister not use it at his house. The ENT that did the polyp surgery said that coming into contact with mold wouldn’t cause me to feel the way I did. So I didn’t even bother talking about the other times I could identify something I was around that made me feel the way I did. I was running to doctors and doing everything I was advised to do, but I still kept feeling like shit, and it was like no one was taking me serious about how bad I was feeling. My PCP ran a lot of tests, but the tests just told us what I didn’t have, like autoimmune disorders and such. The tests didn’t point us to what was really wrong with me. So I gave up and stopped spending my time and money trying to find answers. I started just trying to stay away from things I could identify that made me feel so bad. A couple years ago, some coworkers started scattering mothballs in my work area because they’d seen mice. The mothballs caused the same reaction for me, and I made a big deal about it, until the mothballs were removed for good. I didn’t want to be an asshole about the mothballs, but there was no denying that I felt like crap when I was around them. And because we have policies about chemicals in our workplace, I did make a big deal about it. The whole experience of not taking me seriously and poo pooing what I had started to figure out triggered my feeling so bad, kind of soured me on expecting doctors to really help me. I don’t have any choice but to try to get professional help for my most recent issues, but it is still in the back of my mind that I might be treated again like I’m just being trifling and making stuff up. I’m pretty sure that’s what my bosses and coworkers think now, that I am just being trifling and don’t want to come to work. So idek what to tell my boss when I go back to work, he is still going to think whatever he thinks, so why even bother trying to explain myself? It won’t matter, and I’m in trouble anyway. I’ve mostly never “wanted” to go to work at my job, so that part is true, but I’ve been doing it every day for over 20 years regardless, so whether or not I “want” to go isn’t the issue. I’ve been doing shit I don’t really want to do for most of my adult life. To me, that’s just part of being an adult with responsibilities. It’s not all fun and games, and sometimes it just is whatever it is, and you just do what you have to do. I feel like maybe I’m not even making sense, so Imma just shut up now. No need to shut up and ramble all you like! It does sound like you are depressed with the lethargy and lack of interest. That's treatable. I've found that the small pharmacy I take every day DOES help me. Tremendously! I haven't met a mental health professional who thinks you're making stuff up. I'm certain they're out there, but I haven't met one. I'm praying you find the therapy you need quickly.
Sending you more hugs today!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2022 14:03:49 GMT -5
I read the article you linked, thank you for posting it. I have felt since that time that I am sensitive to some chemicals. I made a few changes in my household several years ago, because I’d started to believe that. I started using more “natural” products for everything from soap to cleaning supplies, but I do still use some chemicals for cleaning my house, but I choose products that don’t make me feel sick, like Fabuloso. One of the things nobody wanted to listen to me about, was that I started having those issues shortly after I bought a shag carpet for my den. It covered the floor in the den, with a couple inches left bare between each wall and the carpet. My reading said that new carpet releases a lot of harmful gases. So one of the other things I did after not getting help from Doctors, was buy plants that supposedly help “clean” the air (most of which I quickly killed unintentionally). And let fresh air in through open windows, whenever the weather allowed it. Which meant I had even more sinus issues, because I’m pretty much allergic to everything outside. But if I had to choose, I preferred to be congested and whatever, than feel like I did so often for those unknown reasons. I don’t get short of breath. I just start feeling like I have a fever and my body starts aching. Mostly my upper body, which a Doctor actually responded to with, “well at least it’s not your legs”. Wtf?! I’m telling you I feel like a truck ran over me, and that’s all you have to say, is at least my legs don’t ache?! Pink Cashmere - did you replace your wood floors - there was a program on 60 minutes that wood treated with some chemicals caused a lot of problems - a lot of the chemicals used for not causing staining etc. cause issues for some people. Anyways good luck on finding your issue. No, the house I was living in when that all started had the original wood floors and I hadn’t done anything to them recently. Thank you.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2022 14:18:53 GMT -5
I’m not really afraid of seeking help. I am kind of reluctant though to be completely honest about how I feel and what’s going on with me. About 9 years ago, I had some mystery ailment that I kept going to my Doctor for, and going to whatever specialists she sent me to to try to figure out what was going on with me. I think I talked about it here back then. I would feel like I had a fever, with the body aches to match, but my temperature was always normal, usually just under what is considered normal, in fact. At first I was told it was because I had the sinus infection from hell, which I ended up having nasal polyps removed to fix. But about a week after that surgery, I had the same horrible feeling again, when I went to loan a friend one of my carpet cleaners and saw that it was full of mold. I immediately put the carpet cleaner in the trash, and thought maybe I’d stumbled upon what was causing the issues I was having, that it was due to things in my environment. I felt the same way on a bike ride once, when I smelled the strong odor of sulfur in the air from a nearby factory. I also immediately felt bad when at my job, they were using chemicals to “mop” the floors, which is really intended to keep asbestos in the floors from being released in the air, as much as it is to make the floors look better. Same thing when DD used Fabuloso to clean, I had to insist she not use Fabuloso and that Mister not use it at his house. The ENT that did the polyp surgery said that coming into contact with mold wouldn’t cause me to feel the way I did. So I didn’t even bother talking about the other times I could identify something I was around that made me feel the way I did. I was running to doctors and doing everything I was advised to do, but I still kept feeling like shit, and it was like no one was taking me serious about how bad I was feeling. My PCP ran a lot of tests, but the tests just told us what I didn’t have, like autoimmune disorders and such. The tests didn’t point us to what was really wrong with me. So I gave up and stopped spending my time and money trying to find answers. I started just trying to stay away from things I could identify that made me feel so bad. A couple years ago, some coworkers started scattering mothballs in my work area because they’d seen mice. The mothballs caused the same reaction for me, and I made a big deal about it, until the mothballs were removed for good. I didn’t want to be an asshole about the mothballs, but there was no denying that I felt like crap when I was around them. And because we have policies about chemicals in our workplace, I did make a big deal about it. The whole experience of not taking me seriously and poo pooing what I had started to figure out triggered my feeling so bad, kind of soured me on expecting doctors to really help me. I don’t have any choice but to try to get professional help for my most recent issues, but it is still in the back of my mind that I might be treated again like I’m just being trifling and making stuff up. I’m pretty sure that’s what my bosses and coworkers think now, that I am just being trifling and don’t want to come to work. So idek what to tell my boss when I go back to work, he is still going to think whatever he thinks, so why even bother trying to explain myself? It won’t matter, and I’m in trouble anyway. I’ve mostly never “wanted” to go to work at my job, so that part is true, but I’ve been doing it every day for over 20 years regardless, so whether or not I “want” to go isn’t the issue. I’ve been doing shit I don’t really want to do for most of my adult life. To me, that’s just part of being an adult with responsibilities. It’s not all fun and games, and sometimes it just is whatever it is, and you just do what you have to do. I feel like maybe I’m not even making sense, so Imma just shut up now. No need to shut up and ramble all you like! It does sound like you are depressed with the lethargy and lack of interest. That's treatable. I've found that the small pharmacy I take every day DOES help me. Tremendously! I haven't met a mental health professional who thinks you're making stuff up. I'm certain they're out there, but I haven't met one. I'm praying you find the therapy you need quickly.
Sending you more hugs today!
Thank you so much for being so encouraging. I keep thinking that if I could just get some good sleep on a regular basis, I’ll feel better. It just makes sense to me that at some point, lack of sleep will wear you out physically and wreak havoc on your mental state. A few weeks ago, I finally slept for about 5 or 6 hours and I felt so much better that morning when I got up for work. Then I went right back to only sleeping 2 or 3 hours every night. I know that insomnia and depression can go hand in hand, but there’s the question of which one came first. My insomnia started almost 20 years ago, before I even got to the worst years of my life and ended up depressed. Anyway, I’m putting myself in the hands of medical professionals, to see if they can help me. While I was waiting for weeks until it was time, I was actually looking forward to last week’s appointment with the sleep lady, because I knew I was going downhill fast. Again, thank you, I really appreciate the kindness from you and the other posters here.
|
|
azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,199
|
Post by azucena on May 7, 2022 16:09:50 GMT -5
Pink - another voice here to say sounds like depression. I've had terrible bouts of insomnia with mine. The sweating could be anxiety - the two often feed off of each other. I'm sorry that it's gotten bad enough that you missed work. Keep fighting against that if you can. Your gardening and outside time are powerful weapons as are exercise and healthy eating.
|
|
CCL
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:34:47 GMT -5
Posts: 7,592
|
Post by CCL on May 7, 2022 17:15:26 GMT -5
Pink Cashmere - did you replace your wood floors - there was a program on 60 minutes that wood treated with some chemicals caused a lot of problems - a lot of the chemicals used for not causing staining etc. cause issues for some people. Anyways good luck on finding your issue. No, the house I was living in when that all started had the original wood floors and I hadn’t done anything to them recently. Thank you. Does your house have a crawl space? I've had some symptoms similar to yours when exposed to allergens, namely mold and dust.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 10:31:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2022 17:49:53 GMT -5
No, the house I was living in when that all started had the original wood floors and I hadn’t done anything to them recently. Thank you. Does your house have a crawl space? I've had some symptoms similar to yours when exposed to allergens, namely mold and dust. I’ve not been clear, I’m sorry. When I first started having what I believed to be reactions to certain chemicals, I lived in the house I bought 20 years ago. I believe the new shag carpet I bought triggered the issues I started having back then. I live in another house now, the one Mister and I bought in 2019. In 2020, I noticed that I didn’t have as many issues with my sinuses and that crazy feeling I’d been dealing with. I ASSumed it was maybe because I was wearing masks regularly because of COVID. The last time I was tested for allergies was when I was going to any and every doctor when I was constantly having the issues I talked about in a prior post. Those tests confirmed again that I was severely allergic to a lot of things, including almost everything that grows outside, mold, dust, dust mites and some other stuff. And for the first time, dogs. Being allergic to dogs was new, prior tests didn’t show that I was allergic to dogs. I am convinced that I have a severe reaction to mold, because of the carpet cleaner incident after I had surgery to have nasal polyps removed. The ENT I was seeing at the time, who did the surgery, disagreed that mold was the reason I felt so bad after fooling with the carpet cleaner that had mold in it. It was the first time I could identify something I’d come into contact with right before I started feeling so bad, so I disagreed with him saying it wasn’t the mold. Doctors don’t really seem to like it when you disagree with them. I didn’t go to medical school, but I’d still like it if Doctors really listen to what I’m telling them, and consider it, even if what I’m saying is not usually how things work with what they know. What do I have to gain by making up stuff when I’m spending a bunch of time and money trying to figure out what is wrong with me? I’ve always been very clear that I don’t want random medicine, I’m not a drug seeker, I just really want to know what’s going on with my body and what I can do about it. Yes, I was complaining about my body aching, but I didn’t want some pill to make me not ache, I wanted to know WHY I was aching and what I needed to do differently to make it stop. I’d rather NOT take any medicine if I can avoid it. But to answer your question, neither that house or the one I live in now have crawl spaces.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,160
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on May 7, 2022 20:23:43 GMT -5
Pink, when I get stressed or anxious, I sweat heavily.
|
|
azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,199
|
Post by azucena on May 10, 2022 14:12:28 GMT -5
I don't want to therapy today - it's exhausting and I'm already exhausted. And yes, therapy is a verb; it's hard work. I dread going most weeks - I can't tell if it's because I'd rather stuff my problems, I'm not ready for the work/decisions she's pushing me to make, or I just don't completely connect with new therapist.
|
|
anciana
Well-Known Member
Joined: Sept 20, 2011 11:34:57 GMT -5
Posts: 1,063
|
Post by anciana on May 10, 2022 16:40:18 GMT -5
I don't want to therapy today - it's exhausting and I'm already exhausted. And yes, therapy is a verb; it's hard work. I dread going most weeks - I can't tell if it's because I'd rather stuff my problems, I'm not ready for the work/decisions she's pushing me to make, or I just don't completely connect with new therapist.
Many gently hugs, azucena! Even figuring out what the issue is with you not wanting to go to a session is hard work. Keep reminding yourself that it's worth it to keep plugging away, however slow it might go. Hang in there!
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on May 11, 2022 9:29:51 GMT -5
I understand, azucena. Therapy is hard work, more so when you're exhausted anyway and not clear on your relationship with the therapist. I have trouble trusting, so getting to the point of ease with a therapist is a long hard slog. I hope you are getting some relief as a result of therapying. Thinking of you.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on May 16, 2022 7:25:30 GMT -5
I am interested to note that this year I am not feeling the typical slide down in late spring and early summer. So far, I've been on an unusually even keel. I considered that I'm just too busy with moving to notice increased irritability, low or flat mood and lack of energy, but don't see it. I have been stable on meds for several years now. I take Abilify year-round where I used to take it only when I was in a depression already. It has been, along with the other medications, a literal life saver.
So far I've not been sleeping too much; it's probably true that I sleep too little. I'm not over- or undereating; no big gains or losses. And I am enjoying planning for the new home although I do get exasperated with the typical little issues that crop up. I'm really looking forward to living near my sister and brothers. I will miss my DD, but plan on coming back often.
I hope this lasts and lasts.
|
|
azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,199
|
Post by azucena on Jun 1, 2022 9:21:42 GMT -5
Decided the new therapist wasn't working so I canceled my sessions with her. She was too pushy and prone to telling too many stories about herself and her family. After texting to cancel and say it wasn't working, I took the chicken way out and blocked her number so that I didn't have to hear any more from her. Then, it was off to find a new therapist. Lo and behold, my insurance website actually had a filter for Christian therapists. After sending a few emails, I stumbled on one that had openings with a website setup to do all the intake paperwork and schedule appts online only a week out. Bingo! Digging a bit further, I think they have openings because they are about 2 hours from StL in a rural area and are trying to do mostly tele-health spun off after covid made that possible. First appt was yesterday and she dug right in with all of the right background questions. It's startling to recount DH's medical history to someone new, but she went beyond that and asked about his family of origin. And man, did she stumble on some stuff that I hadn't put together. Since we started dating at 17, I have atypical insights into his family. One thing that came out is that sometimes adults shut down as parents when their kids reach ages when they themselves started realizing their own parents' dysfunction. DH was 13 when he began working two jobs to help support his family and his dad would take his money and turn around and spend it on smokes and booze. Meanwhile, we easily wrote $2k checks for DD13's trips. It's a startling contrast. I also hadn't completely put together the pieces that his grandma dying in Nov means he lost the last stabilizing influence from his childhood. His grandma told him more than once she thought long and hard about attempting to gain custody. He's not processed that loss at all. These aren't excuses to let him off the hook more so just the backstory and influences where we are now. I need to find a way to ask him to start therapy for himself. For myself, I need to tune out all the work crap that I can't fix because it's really been getting to me. I need to go back to being a worker bee and not trying to influence politics and decisions and ignore my boss.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,160
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 1, 2022 9:25:28 GMT -5
You accomplished a lot in the 1st session.
Childhood is the root of so many adult issues, my own included.
|
|
buystoys
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 4:58:12 GMT -5
Posts: 5,650
|
Post by buystoys on Jun 1, 2022 11:26:18 GMT -5
I'm happy you found someone new so quickly azucena. Hopefully that's the difficult part and you will click with her. It's nice that she unearthed new things so quickly! Keeping my fingers crossed that it means you've found your long term provider.
|
|