azucena
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Post by azucena on Mar 21, 2020 22:43:59 GMT -5
I'm glad you're still trying to get help MPL. Well, to be fair, I didn't really do anything. The therapist called me. I just answered the phone. That is not nothing.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Mar 22, 2020 7:30:05 GMT -5
I'm glad you're still trying to get help MPL. Well, to be fair, I didn't really do anything. The therapist called me. I just answered the phone. Picking up the phone is an effort for me when I'm down and out! I'm giving you credit for that and for forging ahead to try to get something going. We're rooting for you!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 22, 2020 17:23:45 GMT -5
The social isolation has gotten to me today. I'm not doing well with it. Today has been one of the days where it's been one minute at a time.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 22, 2020 18:07:50 GMT -5
Hang in there Everyone! We just gotta do one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. I wish I could send all of your some flowers. I've been wondering, is there anything we could post here, pictures, so we won't be focusing so much on that stupid virus? Here, I'll share a cute one I saw today: (Seriously, I need to get another dog this year. It's time.)
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 23, 2020 5:28:41 GMT -5
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 23, 2020 8:08:37 GMT -5
Awww, what a pretty kitty finnime! Here's a cute picture for Monday. Together, we can do this!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 23, 2020 9:28:54 GMT -5
Hugs to everyone who needs them. I am not a therapist but if things get really bad feel free to PM me I will listen without judgement.
My anxiety is through the roof. I told DH it is hard to control it when the entire world is having a panic attack. My coworkers are worried about me, I give them props for trying to be understanding I am sure I am testing their patience. Me being half days this week to help mom is probably good for all of us.
My emotional shopping ramped up. Groceries is one thing but I've also spent a little over $100 on Barnes and Noble and another $45 on Penzy's spice web site. We can afford it right now but I need to reign that in we should be keeping as much cash as possible in case our businesses shut down (DH would get paid, I am still unsure corporate says we'd get "something" but how much and for how long IDK).
And I am ANGRY. I am not angry at everyone I do not blame small business for trying to ride this out as long as possible since we are one. I don't blame people who need their medication, have to see a doctor or need to get groceries. I am not raging at people I see taking a walk or running.
I am angry at people who are so self centered they can't for five seconds consider what is going on in the world right now. An excellent example is a vet tech at work. She likes to think of us as her personal diagnostic lab. After being told she is going to have to be patient and that they all need to start paring down requests/submissions to what is REALLY important in case we have to close our doors she goes on a rampage instead.
She wants a test from me by Friday. That is fine then it comes ahead of all your other stuff then. She sends back a passive aggressive email about how she can't understand why I am unable to handle all her requests at the same time and get them ALL out by Friday.
Thank God this was email because if it was in person I would have said something that would have gotten me fired. Instead I reminded her how long her other two requests take just to get started and that it will be done in the normal time frame. If she wants special requests then she has to pick. I am not making everything she wants special requests. Quit trying to bully me you stupid bitch (Didn't write that part but I sure thought it).
Then I bent over to make sure I could pay SIL the full amount up front in case BIL's business dries up. Instead of saying thank you she makes a comment about social isolation. While standing in my living room. Umm.. . It's easy to be judgmental when you earn six figures and can easily work from home. I don't and can't.
That is the type of shit I am angry about. Neither one of those people have any idea about our circumstances right now. A simple freaking "thank you" and some patience would go a long way. Corporate went so far as to ask us if we'd consider working without PPE should it come to that for Christ's sake. Tensions and frustration are running high as it is shown the higher ups and clients give no shits about us whatsoever. Good luck making a profit if we all end up walking.
I cried for almost an hour yesterday after I was done working. I finished up grocery shopping and picked up some things for the dog to keep away until I calmed down. DH and I have made a pack to present as calm a front as possible for the kids so I didn't want them to see me like that. Gwen is freaked out enough as it is. However that is fast becoming a drain mentally. Under normal circumstances managing anxiety is difficult. Under apocalyptic scenarios it is damn near impossible and it's getting to where I can't focus on work and spend much of the day here sitting on the couch.
On the flip side the resturant has wonderful customers. Everyone is being as aware as they can and being very understanding when comes to us being out of certain things and having to juggle customers to maintain proper social distance. We made over $5k this week which is more than we made opening week. If we could get a couple more weeks like this we'll be all right for a few months shut down.
I also appreciate knowing as many regulars as possible are okay. A few almost made me cry with words of appreciation and comfort. Our tip jar has been overflowing which is mind blowing to me. THAT is what I need to focus on not the assholes at my regular job.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Mar 23, 2020 11:25:25 GMT -5
Hugs to you Drama. I'm fortunate that I can tune out/turn off a lot of the world since I don't have to work in it. I'd hate to see what my anxiety would be doing otherwise, so you have my total sympathy and empathy for what you are going through. Wish I could give you lots of real life hugs because you sound like you need them.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Mar 23, 2020 16:24:47 GMT -5
I don't have a picture - but let me give you a mental image. I just realized my 7 yo has been video texting with friends all week...in her underwear. Oops! I'm just so used to seeing her naked that it didn't dawn on me. She wasn't happy about being told to put on clothes because she was following our house rule p.anties stay put LOL.
Drama - I hear you on the work stress. Remember I price life insurance. Well, it's a pretty chaotic business to be in right now. I've had 7 client calls today (usually don't have that many in a week). Opened my inbox to 100 new emails since Fri at close. Guess I should have worked this weekend.
One calming suggestion is that DD11 and I have begun reading Anne of Green Gables thru our library app. She's started it a couple of times at my suggestion but couldn't get past the flowery language. Usually I don't like flowery language but that story really drew me in. We're reading every other page like I do with my 7 yo. After the first chapter, she was like whoa Anne can really talk LOL. Maybe Gwen is old enough for that one or another of your favorites. DD loved secret garden when she read it a couple of years ago - it was another of my favorites.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 23, 2020 16:35:46 GMT -5
Somewhere I saw a video from a Zoom workplace meeting. One of the participants got up and went in to the bathroom and used it. The presenter apparently didn't notice but all of the other participants were about to fall out of their chairs laughing. That's when the presenter asked what was going on.
I don't know how to post pictures, but keep them coming.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 23, 2020 16:54:42 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015, you're stretched so thin right now between your DDs, DH, high-stress job in the lab and other job working in the restaurant on top of coping with the world gone effing nuts with the coronavirus, closing schools and other businesses coupled with the threat of serious illness or death. It's too much. Anxiety springs eternal. Can you let others (except your DDs) just flow past you? When someone throws a ball at you you don't have to catch. Pushy vet techs especially. And claim 20 or 30 minutes every single day for yourself. You're closed to everyone at those times. You can light a candle and watch the flame, or have a stiff drink, or listen to music, or all of the above. This world as it is now will chew you up and spit you out if allowed to. Don't let it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 23, 2020 17:03:09 GMT -5
Oh the vet tech is the first person I'm voting to eat if we go cannibal.
I decided I'm not going to be her. That is how I will combat this. I thanked S for coming in to help today. I told my boss how much I appreciate her working with me.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 24, 2020 10:56:39 GMT -5
Called to see if I could do a quick phone call today with my therapist. They now have telehealth and I have an appointment on Thursday.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 25, 2020 6:32:58 GMT -5
Hi Kids! I found a cute picture of a baby panda this morning. What a happy little guy!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 25, 2020 10:02:54 GMT -5
I had a long talk with DH last night. I said for the first time in my life I cannot function.
I have no idea what to do. I've always been able to push through.
Now I physically feel like crap and I'm always on the verge of tears. I feel super guilty about work even though everyone is super understanding about the extreme circumstances.
So far it's not affecting my work but the house looks like a bomb went off.
I spent two hours yesterday freaking out about sugar. Finally found it in the bottom cupboard. Apparently obsessing over a lost object is a manifestation of anxiety. Not one I normally have but makes sense given the hysteria around supplies.
Two of my new books came in so I'm burying myself in those.
DH is monitoring my TV and online news consumption because I find myself not able to. If I'm getting wired he makes me turn it off.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 25, 2020 10:16:40 GMT -5
I had a long talk with DH last night. I said for the first time in my life I cannot function. I have no idea what to do. I've always been able to push through. Now I physically feel like crap and I'm always on the verge of tears. I feel super guilty about work even though everyone is super understanding about the extreme circumstances. So far it's not affecting my work but the house looks like a bomb went off. I spent two hours yesterday freaking out about sugar. Finally found it in the bottom cupboard. Apparently obsessing over a lost object is a manifestation of anxiety. Not one I normally have but makes sense given the hysteria around supplies. Two of my new books came in so I'm burying myself in those. DH is monitoring my TV and online news consumption because I find myself not able to. If I'm getting wired he makes me turn it off. Been there. Are you under a doctor's care? Are you medicated?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 25, 2020 10:26:02 GMT -5
No. I tried the doctor and medication route. I ended up with severe side effects. Even after almost a year off them.I still suffer from neuropathy and my eye will start involuntarily twitching if I get stressed enough. Read a few academic papers that said for some it can take up to two years to have symptoms completely disappear.
So I'm not eager to do that again any time soon. I went back to my behavioral and mental coping skills I've developed over the decades along with using rescue remedy which surprisingly works along with Holy basil.
Did not expect the entire world to go insane. I.told DH it's hard enough to control your own panic attacks let alone absorb an entire planet's worth.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 25, 2020 11:20:19 GMT -5
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 25, 2020 11:24:10 GMT -5
😟
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 25, 2020 11:29:44 GMT -5
Oh the vet tech is the first person I'm voting to eat if we go cannibal.I decided I'm not going to be her. That is how I will combat this. I thanked S for coming in to help today. I told my boss how much I appreciate her working with me. I hope she's chunky.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 25, 2020 11:31:15 GMT -5
I am a complete fucking mess right now and i cannot concentrate.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Mar 25, 2020 12:00:25 GMT -5
Hugs to everyone! I'm doing OK as long as I ignore the TV. DH watches news all day, so it can get to me. I've started coming into the den and spending more time on the computer. Not healthy, but it's a step away from the doom and gloom I get caught up in. I've found a couple of free games to play so that helps me pass time.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 25, 2020 12:10:03 GMT -5
I keep telling myself that my Mom survived the Great Depression, and that lasted years, so I can do this. But the bad news on the television is enough to get anyone down, so I'm choosing to watch less t.v., and I'm shutting it off during all of those "special reports". I can get the condensed version during the evening news, & be done with it.
I wouldn't doubt, when we get through all of this, if some might get PTSD. The constant barrage of bad news is exhausting!
DH called his parents today, and they seem to be doing well. But, they are part of a large senior community, who like to hang out, so I'm a bit concerned there...
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Mar 25, 2020 12:50:34 GMT -5
Drama - if you have disney plus, there are several movies on there from our era. I watched 10 things I hate about you, while you were sleeping, and one more I'm forgetting right now. I found watching stuff I loved in college helps me turn my brain off. Watching anything current doesn't have the same effect. Kids and I watched Sister Act last night and even though it had some slightly inappropriate parts, the humor far outweighed that.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2020 13:45:31 GMT -5
Watching comedies instead of the news is definitely helpful. You can get what you "need to know" without sitting there with a 24 hour news channel on (not saying people here are doing that, but I think most...including myself...are watching more than is necessary).
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 25, 2020 15:02:49 GMT -5
I agree, control the input of news. I've found myself sinking deeper as the numbers rise and some numb nuts suggests it's only older people who need to die anyway.
I know better, but it feels bad. I like the idea of watching comedies. I think there's a place to stream The Office right now, I'm going to look for it.
No wonder everyone is baking bread.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 25, 2020 15:04:24 GMT -5
I listen to music all day. Listening to a new artist at the moment, Becca Stevens.
Will be buying Jackson Browne's single on Friday. He has tested positive for Covid19.
I can't watch that stuff all day or I would be totally crazy instead of the crazy I am now. I get the condensed version in the evening. I can't even watch our stupid governor talk without wanting to throw things at the television.
I am so looking forward to my appointment tomorrow.
To me, my parents and the depression were different than this. They were with their family and not alone. There wasn't so much information and they didn't know anything different. They both came from families who lost their farms but my mother said her family never went hungry and she never knew there was a big problem. Her father was a skilled carpenter in addition to being a farmer, so he was able to trade his creations for the food they couldn't grow.
My dad's family on the other hand was like one of the dust bowl families I've read about and seen in the movies. Constantly moving. Dad talked about going to bed starving after being fed a bowl of bowled water and told to go to bed. I don't think he ever recovered psychology from being hungry so I am very concerned that people will have enough to eat.
I will have food but I am totally isolated with a cat for company. Yes, I have technology, but it isn't enough. I need more human interaction and I can't get that without risking my health.
I never saw signs of PTSD from the depression in my mom. Definitely in my dad. I have PTSD from other situations and this situation will make it worse.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 25, 2020 15:05:27 GMT -5
I will add I don't stream and I'm not a movie person. Sports were my outlet and there's no live sports.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 25, 2020 15:13:57 GMT -5
My copy of Gods of Jade and Shadow arrived yesterday. I dove into that. It's another one of those books I am so obsessed with that I might as well buy it. I got two more I ordered on the way.
Also figured out how to get my Chromebook connected to Overdrive so I can check out books from the library again. It also allowed me to install the NOOK app so I don't have to buy a new one of those. I spent a couple happy hours creating shelve categories for my Ebooks.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 25, 2020 15:52:12 GMT -5
I'm glad you have that appointment tomorrow, TheOtherMe. Music is good. My parents grew up in the Depression, too. Both their families had gardens and they lived in areas where bartering could be done for farm goods. And I'm glad, NomoreDramaQ1015, you have books. Looks like we all need to do things we wouldn't typically. I'm going to pick back up on painting sometime in the next few days. I need to before my all-purpose flour runs out!
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