finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 8, 2020 11:01:42 GMT -5
I'm glad you're going to get in touch Monday, minnesotapaintlady. Did the Zoloft help you before? If so that's a good starting point for this time, it will shorten the time it takes to get to the right meds. Depression is not like strep--you can be responsive to a medication or not, or only in combination with another, and dosages are also tricky. So if you know of something that works for you you're halfway home.
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Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Feb 8, 2020 23:32:58 GMT -5
I had a major setback over the holidays and am just now starting to feel like I can function again. For me, the problem with the holidays is that my grandmother, mother and father all were diagnosed with terminal illness and then died. Plus my birthday is mixed there. Add in a few other significant losses and SO being a dipshit - it's no wonder I don't much like December any more.
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buystoys
Junior Associate
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Post by buystoys on Feb 9, 2020 4:35:42 GMT -5
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 9, 2020 4:41:40 GMT -5
Buystoys- I see I'm not the only one up. Hope we both fall back asleep soon.
Mpl- several of us here will be checking in on mon to see if you make an appt. Old pills need to be turned in to police dept. Dont make us come up to the tundra.
Sorry for the latest poster who had a rough dec.
I'm emotionally numb from husbands surgery which has me worried for the fallout. I have an appt scheduled. My meds seem to be keeping me above the edge though.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 9, 2020 11:31:30 GMT -5
I had a major setback over the holidays and am just now starting to feel like I can function again. For me, the problem with the holidays is that my grandmother, mother and father all were diagnosed with terminal illness and then died. Plus my birthday is mixed there. Add in a few other significant losses and SO being a dipshit - it's no wonder I don't much like December any more. I'm sorry you go through such rough times over the holidays, but glad it's ending. Since this recurs, have you talked with anyone about warding it off? I take a medication for prophylaxis when I can feel I'm zooming down that forestalls the worst of it. Also, see my shrink more often in those times. You have a lot of hurt mixed in with December. Maybe in time it will ease up, I hope so.
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Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 10, 2020 17:01:25 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2020 20:07:31 GMT -5
I did not. I'd written out an entire paragraph of "why" I couldn't do it today, then deleted it. There was no real excuse outside of the fact that work was crazy and I hate talking to people on the phone.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 10, 2020 21:47:55 GMT -5
Tomorrow is a good day, too, minnesotapaintlady. I know how hard it is to do--anything--when you're depressed. But you can do it anyway. For 2 minutes. Then do nothing that requires thought for the rest of the day. Just eat ice cream, or Nutty Buddys.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2020 22:31:51 GMT -5
That's just it though, I'm massively behind at work and need to take Friday off, so that makes it worse. I just feel like I need to go down there and talk to them in person and fill out the paperwork.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 10, 2020 22:42:10 GMT -5
Maybe if you call they can email you the paperwork to fill out before you go down there. I've had lots of doctors offices do that lately. As I always remind myself when I'm dreading making calls, they can't bite you though the phone 😉 I hope you are in a better mental place to do it tomorrow. ❤️
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Feb 11, 2020 23:34:08 GMT -5
That's just it though, I'm massively behind at work and need to take Friday off, so that makes it worse. I just feel like I need to go down there and talk to them in person and fill out the paperwork. Hey! I hope you are able to carve out some time to take care of yourself. And I hope you can get your old counselor back! I'm rooting for you.
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azucena
Junior Associate
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Post by azucena on Feb 12, 2020 5:43:47 GMT -5
Mpl - fit it in now pls or your body may stage a revolt and give you no choice. I speak from experience. Depression has to be easier to treat, ie respond better to meds and therapy , when it hasn't completely taken over.
We are pushing you because we care.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 7:36:28 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady, this is a gentle request to consider doing what you need at your lunch break. Things will get easier much sooner when you get help. I've been where you are and only regret not acting much sooner than I thought I was able.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 12, 2020 7:48:37 GMT -5
I can't like what finnime said enough. There are times when I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my depression.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 12, 2020 8:15:25 GMT -5
Mpl - I'm late to the game here but wanted to chime in that I have been feeling similar. My life feels like a dumpster fire (with no good reason!) And no way to get back to normal. I had moon ban my work IP so I can't be on the boards as easily. I can still change to WiFi and check but it cuts down on mindless checking.
I'm still on the boards more than I should be but I do think it helped.
Thinking of you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 9:41:07 GMT -5
raeoflyte - Getting the board blocked at work is a great idea. Unfortunately I'm not sure how much it would help me because I have like 4 of them I've been hanging out on. I would just waste more time on the others to compensate.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 9:41:07 GMT -5
raeoflyte, have you considered talking to anyone? Please do, if you haven't. It does give you a path back to your regularly scheduled life, or enjoying your life. Get in touch with EAP if you have it.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 9:51:36 GMT -5
The thing is, are you feeling depressed and overwhelmed because you spend too much time on the boards, or are you spending too much time on the boards because you're depressed and overwhelmed? When I'm in the deep, I'll waste time doing anything, including twirling my cowlick because I can't do the level of productive work I need to. So working on the depression is the only way out for me that's effective. YMMV
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 9:56:59 GMT -5
The thing is, are you feeling depressed and overwhelmed because you spend too much time on the boards, or are you spending too much time on the boards because you're depressed and overwhelmed? When I'm in the deep, I'll waste time doing anything, including twirling my cowlick because I can't do the level of productive work I need to. So working on the depression is the only way out for me that's effective. YMMV I think it's a vicious cycle. I spend all my time on here, get nothing done, then hate myself for it. Then I go home and do minimal work and sit and watch TV and read the boards again. If I just shut all this shit off and got something done I'd feel better about myself. Right now everything seems so out of control it seems pointless to even try. My annual review was due the end of January. I didn't get it in. Boss told me have it turned in by last Friday. I didn't do it. I haven't even started. I tried, but I have nothing to write. I didn't meet a single goal last year and wasted a crap ton of time. I've been looking at it for 2 hours again this morning, but I got nothing. I think I'm just going to submit it like that.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 12, 2020 10:00:53 GMT -5
MPL, you say you didn't meet a single goal last year. Were the goals meaningful to your job? Were they realistic? It's one thing to not meet a basic goal and another to meet a pie in the sky goal. Pick just one and start to write about it. Were you unable to meet it because key persons didn't support your activity or didn't provide the data necessary? There are a lot of reasons to not achieve a goal that have nothing to do with your personal performance.
I agree with everyone who is encouraging you to make a doctor's appointment. Take one little step at a time. You can work your way out of the hole you're in. I have confidence in you!
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 10:02:24 GMT -5
MPL, please, please set up an appointment to talk with someone. Please.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 10:09:19 GMT -5
MPL, you say you didn't meet a single goal last year. Were the goals meaningful to your job? Were they realistic?
A couple were not all that realistic. Like contribute to 250K in savings for the company (our department total goal). My job isn't really involved in implementing changes and cost savings things. Several were plenty realistic. I'm supposed to cross train in quoting. I've been told to do that for several years because we only have one person that does it and if she gets hit by a bus we're screwed, but I haven't. Another goal was to complete some online training. Part of this is I'm just so jaded. I busted my ass reaching goals some years. I got a certification that took many, many hours of my personal time to complete with the carrot of a promotion to Tech 2 (I've been Tech 1 for 12 years now) and it never happened. I did everything they asked me to get that and nothing. It never matters. My raises are always the same and always the same as everyone else's.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 10:23:35 GMT -5
It sounds like the goals were not realistic given your level of support from your management. So there's that.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 12, 2020 12:57:23 GMT -5
raeoflyte , have you considered talking to anyone? Please do, if you haven't. It does give you a path back to your regularly scheduled life, or enjoying your life. Get in touch with EAP if you have it. Thank you. Dh and I have a marriage counselor, but I don't think I'm depressed or even having too much anxiety. Just burnt out and overwhelmed. I didn't pay any bills not on auto-pay since at least November, and since that is when I was having back issues, it was a lot of bills. I finally got caught up thankfully, and am looking at other fixes I need to put in place.
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azucena
Junior Associate
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Post by azucena on Feb 12, 2020 14:00:21 GMT -5
The thing is, are you feeling depressed and overwhelmed because you spend too much time on the boards, or are you spending too much time on the boards because you're depressed and overwhelmed? When I'm in the deep, I'll waste time doing anything, including twirling my cowlick because I can't do the level of productive work I need to. So working on the depression is the only way out for me that's effective. YMMV I think it's a vicious cycle. I spend all my time on here, get nothing done, then hate myself for it. Then I go home and do minimal work and sit and watch TV and read the boards again. If I just shut all this shit off and got something done I'd feel better about myself. Right now everything seems so out of control it seems pointless to even try. My annual review was due the end of January. I didn't get it in. Boss told me have it turned in by last Friday. I didn't do it. I haven't even started. I tried, but I have nothing to write. I didn't meet a single goal last year and wasted a crap ton of time. I've been looking at it for 2 hours again this morning, but I got nothing. I think I'm just going to submit it like that.
This sounds like depression to me. Believe me that you will feel much better after you talk to a specialist and they tell you you are not lazy. Lack of motivation for prolonged periods is a big flag.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 14:15:48 GMT -5
Well, I really did not want to call there, but I wasn't doing anything at work so I figured I would take a drive in that direction and see what happened. I got to the parking lot and said "F%$# it, might as well go in". Almost turned around and left after waiting for the elevator, but headed up. I was feeling all "you got this now" when I was at the receptionist window and even saw my old counselor walk by and she smiled at me, so I at least THINK she remembers me. Then they told me there was a 2-3 month wait list... Instantly deflated.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 14:36:37 GMT -5
I'm so glad you went, minnesotapaintlady! The wait really stinks, but it will pass. There is hope there.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Feb 12, 2020 14:41:39 GMT -5
Psych stuff, like law, always seems to have long stretches of waiting built in. Is there someone the EAP can offer in the interim to talk with?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 12, 2020 14:42:33 GMT -5
Well, I really did not want to call there, but I wasn't doing anything at work so I figured I would take a drive in that direction and see what happened. I got to the parking lot and said "F%$# it, might as well go in". Almost turned around and left after waiting for the elevator, but headed up. I was feeling all "you got this now" when I was at the receptionist window and even saw my old counselor walk by and she smiled at me, so I at least THINK she remembers me. Then they told me there was a 2-3 month wait list... Instantly deflated.
for going there! Did you get on the list?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 14:46:41 GMT -5
Yes. I'm on the list.
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