debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Aug 6, 2017 16:19:31 GMT -5
Although I know plenty of active 70YOs, given that health coverage is not an issue here, few of them work FT. Many of them still work, but freelance.
We have one 70 YO friend from our theater troupe who still works FT. She needs the income, so she has no choice. But since we've known her (5 years), she has gotten pickier about the jobs she accepts. She teaches ESL for a company but she won't do more than a 45 min commute, she will only commute for 3h of teaching. I can understand that. But on the other hand, since there are a lot of young anglophones here who are desperate for work, our friend knows that she is taking a risk with every new "demand".
If your mom feels that going into work 5 days a week is difficult for her (which I can certainly understand at 70), could she ask to either work 4 longer days, or to work from home one day a week? PT here may be more common than in the US.
I do realize she's not exactly in a position to negotiate, but it could work out. It wouldn't hurt to ask, especially since she's thinking of turning it down anyway. If she needs the money (and it sounds like she does) it would be a shame to turn it down. It can't hurt to try to work out an arrangement.
I can't speak to the ease of finding new employment at 70, but I'm guessing it's not very easy, and that she should try to make it work with this job.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Aug 7, 2017 7:57:27 GMT -5
Being 71 I'm so glad I don't have to work again. I'm not feeling so good. I see poor old ladies working at Walmart and many will tell you its so they can pay their insurance premiums, how sad is that?
If need be could go into senior housing, but doubt I need it. Will definitely downsize if left alone but imagine hubs will outlive me I will have half his SS and with our assets (if we don't spend them all) either of us should be ok.
I am willing to do whatever is needed when the time comes just like my mom was.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 8:38:08 GMT -5
As long as she's not begging you for money, I'd not stress about it too much. She sounds like she's been finding a way to make a go despite some bad choices for a long time (in NYC of all places!).
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Aug 7, 2017 10:06:27 GMT -5
Being 71 I'm so glad I don't have to work again. I'm not feeling so good. I see poor old ladies working at Walmart and many will tell you its so they can pay their insurance premiums, how sad is that? If need be could go into senior housing, but doubt I need it. Will definitely downsize if left alonebut imagine hubs will outlive me I will have half his SS and with our assets (if we don't spend them all) either of us should be ok. I am willing to do whatever is needed when the time comes just like my mom was. The second paragraph is unclear, but if you are left alone will you not receive 100% of your husband's benefit amount?
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Aug 7, 2017 11:21:21 GMT -5
In most states, if one turns down a job offer (that they are able to do), then they are no longer eligible for unemployment.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 7, 2017 11:53:29 GMT -5
In most states, if one turns down a job offer (that they are able to do), then they are no longer eligible for unemployment. I actually work for the DOL in her state, and that is the case, given a few exceptions. She may want to call the UI number before she says yay or nay to ask, or she may be in for a surprise.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 7, 2017 12:26:22 GMT -5
When I was 28 I went to a convenience store - not good, clean, name brand one - but one of those nasty, locally owned and probably really only good for dealing drugs kind. The lady working there was probably 70, or maybe 60-something, but looked bad.
I drove straigh to work, upped the percentage going into my 401k and worked super hard that day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 12:31:21 GMT -5
In most states, if one turns down a job offer (that they are able to do), then they are no longer eligible for unemployment. I actually work for the DOL in her state, and that is the case, given a few exceptions. She may want to call the UI number before she says yay or nay to ask, or she may be in for a surprise. That's the way it is in our state too, but people just say they didn't turn down any work on their unemployment application and nobody knows the job ever existed. Maybe it's changed now and employers report this, but they never did in the past.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Aug 7, 2017 12:49:43 GMT -5
The first time I ever encountered this concept was with my in-laws. FIL had always been a farm laborer; in many ways that was similar to migrant workers over here. Small amount of income and a farm-provided house. MIL was a SAHM, never even learned to drive - would have been horrified at the idea of working at a paid job. They were one of those very poor but happy couples and although DH grew up in near-poverty conditions, it sounded like a loving, happy childhood. He'd tell stories about how every vacation was planned to the last pound and if anything went wrong, they had adventures getting home since there was never a pence to spare. Again, lots of love but absolutely no money. In the early '90s, DH told me his dad had inherited some money and was going to "retire". The inheritance amount wasn't tiny, but it wasn't substantial, either - 30,000 pounds. Row houses, condos or apartments within an hour of where they lived (very nice area - Winchester) were over 100,000, so they couldn't afford to live anywhere near where their friends and family were. FIL's plan was to buy a very inexpensive place about 4-5 hours away (not nice area) where they didn't know anybody and live on the British equivalent of social security. Didn't sound like fun to me, but that's what they did. And of course FIL died less than a year later, leaving MIL alone there. I know this is off-topic but your post really surprised me. Having been on these boards for a number of years and reading of your difficulties with your MIL, this is just not the picture of her life I expected. I had assumed she was an upper-middle class matriarch living in a very expensive 'cottage' in the Cotswolds or somewhere similar.
I do find it interesting the way human beings conjure up images of other people and we don't even realize we've done so until they're challenged by new information.
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 7, 2017 13:21:17 GMT -5
The first time I ever encountered this concept was with my in-laws. FIL had always been a farm laborer; in many ways that was similar to migrant workers over here. Small amount of income and a farm-provided house. MIL was a SAHM, never even learned to drive - would have been horrified at the idea of working at a paid job. They were one of those very poor but happy couples and although DH grew up in near-poverty conditions, it sounded like a loving, happy childhood. He'd tell stories about how every vacation was planned to the last pound and if anything went wrong, they had adventures getting home since there was never a pence to spare. Again, lots of love but absolutely no money. In the early '90s, DH told me his dad had inherited some money and was going to "retire". The inheritance amount wasn't tiny, but it wasn't substantial, either - 30,000 pounds. Row houses, condos or apartments within an hour of where they lived (very nice area - Winchester) were over 100,000, so they couldn't afford to live anywhere near where their friends and family were. FIL's plan was to buy a very inexpensive place about 4-5 hours away (not nice area) where they didn't know anybody and live on the British equivalent of social security. Didn't sound like fun to me, but that's what they did. And of course FIL died less than a year later, leaving MIL alone there. I know this is off-topic but your post really surprised me. Having been on these boards for a number of years and reading of your difficulties with your MIL, this is just not the picture of her life I expected. I had assumed she was an upper-middle class matriarch living in a very expensive 'cottage' in the Cotswolds or somewhere similar.
It's funny you should mention that - I think that's how she pictures herself as well. Except she'd have a cottage in Devon. I do think that she grew up in an upper middle class family and there was a little bit of a scandal that she married someone who was in a class "lower" than hers. Reading between the lines, I think there was also some family disapproval that her husband continued on in his work as a farm laborer. My guess is that part of why she did that was that she truly, madly deeply loved him (and he her.) But I also think some of their happiness was habit or as they'd say "sheer bloody mindedness". In other words, she'd made her decision to marry for love and no matter what, they were darn well going to be happy even if they weren't. Both were huge on duty, custom and doing what was expected so marrying out of station had to have been a huge break with who they were as people. She never complains or comments on any of this, so I could be completely wrong. It's just what I've pieced together from comments other relatives have made and my understanding about what's important to her. Edited to add - just realized and asked DH - the inheritance wasn't FIL's, it was MIL's. That makes more sense.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Aug 7, 2017 14:11:42 GMT -5
milee - I'm beginning to rather like your MIL... although I'm still glad she's yours and not mine .
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 7, 2017 14:39:21 GMT -5
I actually work for the DOL in her state, and that is the case, given a few exceptions. She may want to call the UI number before she says yay or nay to ask, or she may be in for a surprise. That's the way it is in our state too, but people just say they didn't turn down any work on their unemployment application and nobody knows the job ever existed. Maybe it's changed now and employers report this, but they never did in the past. I know I can't speak for every state, but I know I have had clients that have gotten caught, so to speak, because the employer reports it.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Aug 8, 2017 19:18:56 GMT -5
Well, it looks like my mom plans to take the job......
She spent Sunday with her friend, who also let's her use her address for insurance purposes (cheaper car insurance), and the friend told her "if you take the job, you can still look for another job while you are working at that job....."
So she indicated she was going to do that......we'll see.......
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 8, 2017 19:50:22 GMT -5
Well, it looks like my mom plans to take the job......
She spent Sunday with her friend, who also let's her use her address for insurance purposes (cheaper car insurance), and the friend told her "if you take the job, you can still look for another job while you are working at that job....."
So she indicated she was going to do that......we'll see.......
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Aug 9, 2017 1:17:08 GMT -5
Glad she's taking the job. It will keep her busy, let her pay her bills, and you won't have to worry about her situation for awhile.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 9, 2017 5:05:28 GMT -5
Being 71 I'm so glad I don't have to work again. I'm not feeling so good. I see poor old ladies working at Walmart and many will tell you its so they can pay their insurance premiums, how sad is that? If need be could go into senior housing, but doubt I need it. Will definitely downsize if left alonebut imagine hubs will outlive me I will have half his SS and with our assets (if we don't spend them all) either of us should be ok. I am willing to do whatever is needed when the time comes just like my mom was. The second paragraph is unclear, but if you are left alone will you not receive 100% of your husband's benefit amount? When my DH passed away in Dec. 2015, I lost ALL of his 100% VA disability and my SS. Total monthly loss was $3700/mo that I needed to replace. When I lost my SS (I was drawing on his since his was way more than mine) in return I was given 100% of his. Due to the circumstances of DHs death, I now receive something called Dependency Indemnity Compensation from the VA. I live comfortably on SS and DIC and take little if anything from investments. For the surviving spouse, if their SS is greater than the deceased spouse, they will keep their own SS payments and lose that of the spouse. In other words, they will received whatever is greater, but not both.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2017 7:10:05 GMT -5
Well, it looks like my mom plans to take the job......
She spent Sunday with her friend, who also let's her use her address for insurance purposes (cheaper car insurance), and the friend told her "if you take the job, you can still look for another job while you are working at that job....."
So she indicated she was going to do that......we'll see.......
That's a relatively common thing in cities. Not saying I have an opinion on it, just that it happens.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 9, 2017 7:36:40 GMT -5
That's a relatively common thing in cities. Not saying I have an opinion on it, just that it happens. I know it is a common thing in cities. It happens here too as Memphis is right on the border with Mississippi. If caught doing so, there are consequences including losing your insurance if it is discovered the vehicle was housed at a different address than what is listed with the insurance company. If you get in an accident and it is found out the vehicle was not housed at the address listed, no claims would be paid. The customer, in the extreme, could be charged with insurance fraud.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Aug 9, 2017 8:20:28 GMT -5
The second paragraph is unclear, but if you are left alone will you not receive 100% of your husband's benefit amount? When my DH passed away in Dec. 2015, I lost ALL of his 100% VA disability and my SS. Total monthly loss was $3700/mo that I needed to replace. When I lost my SS (I was drawing on his since his was way more than mine) in return I was given 100% of his. Due to the circumstances of DHs death, I now receive something called Dependency Indemnity Compensation from the VA. I live comfortably on SS and DIC and take little if anything from investments. For the surviving spouse, if their SS is greater than the deceased spouse, they will keep their own SS payments and lose that of the spouse. In other words, they will received whatever is greater, but not both.Right, and my understanding is that his is greater than hers. Either way, however (and again it is unclear as written), she would not have half of his benefit as she is eligible for now with him alive. She should be bumped up to his full benefit amount, while no longer receiving her own.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 9, 2017 9:59:56 GMT -5
My social security was far less than half of what DH was receiving, there for my amount came from his. ( nothing is easy is it)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2017 19:09:33 GMT -5
Yes, it may be common, but it is fraud. The insurance company probably does not really care. If your mom wants to pay premiums for...NO COVERAGE...they are probably fine with it. When she has a claim, they will deny coverage for fraud in her application and renewal once they see that her address is a fake. Actuaries have to love this. Cover the small stuff so there is the urban myth out there to get people to pay the insurance but commit the fraud, but then investigate/deny for the more expensive claims. Talk about the perfect product to sell.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Aug 12, 2017 18:49:25 GMT -5
looks like mom didn't get the job. The guy didn't call back. Of course my mom waiting so long and asking for so much time for her to "decide" (2 weeks from when he made the initial job offer) didn't help (IMO). She is going to try to call Monday again, but it doesn't look good, mom tried to call twice on Thursday and he said he would call back and hasn't.
Also mom has to do an in person thingee with unemployment office on Monday, so from talking to her I think reality is finally starting to sink in.....more to follow
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 13, 2017 6:39:02 GMT -5
looks like mom didn't get the job. The guy didn't call back. Of course my mom waiting so long and asking for so much time for her to "decide" (2 weeks from when he made the initial job offer) didn't help (IMO). She is going to try to call Monday again, but it doesn't look good, mom tried to call twice on Thursday and he said he would call back and hasn't. Also mom has to do an in person thingee with unemployment office on Monday, so from talking to her I think reality is finally starting to sink in.....more to follow Two weeks!!!
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Aug 13, 2017 9:09:34 GMT -5
looks like mom didn't get the job. The guy didn't call back. Of course my mom waiting so long and asking for so much time for her to "decide" (2 weeks from when he made the initial job offer) didn't help (IMO). She is going to try to call Monday again, but it doesn't look good, mom tried to call twice on Thursday and he said he would call back and hasn't. Also mom has to do an in person thingee with unemployment office on Monday, so from talking to her I think reality is finally starting to sink in.....more to follow Two weeks!!!
Yep, she thought it was a good idea to have some time to "consider" it.
Since the guy who interviewed told her she would be doing x, y, & z. Then when she got the job offer it was from the dude's wife who told my mom it would be slightly different (my mom would NOT be doing the payroll, the wife would do that and a few other things.....but the wife told mom she would be "trained" and none of the tasks were physically demanding and typical paperwork stuff for an admin / office manage to do).....but because of this mom got a bad "feeling" (in my head I was like "I don't see how you have any choice and none of this sounds terrible to me, you need a job and were upset to lose your other job").....so she said she needed some time to consider it....in the meantime she been going to the beach 2 times a week, pool 2 times a week and some other stuff to keep her mind off things......
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 13, 2017 13:35:13 GMT -5
Looks like she succeeded in keeping her mind off things.....now she doesn't have to think about anything. Unless of course she starts thinking about how she is going to pay her bills.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 14, 2017 12:10:53 GMT -5
Thought of this thread last week when we took the nephews to the amusement park. Just about EVERY person working the rides looked to be 60+. Lots of younger kids at the game booths and stuff, but running the actual rides, it looked like a nursing home took over the park. Sitting on a stool or chair, hit the button, wait a few minutes, hit another button, repeat.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2017 14:08:02 GMT -5
Actuaries have to love this. Cover the small stuff so there is the urban myth out there to get people to pay the insurance but commit the fraud, but then investigate/deny for the more expensive claims. Talk about the perfect product to sell. I AM an actuary (retired). There have to be consequences for fraud. Decades ago I remember an extraordinarily rational court decision involving a life insurance policyholder who lied and said he was a nonsmoker to get better rates. When the insurer found out after his death that he was a regular smoker, they denied the claim. The family fought back, arguing that they should get a reduced face amount based on what the deceased would have gotten for that premium if he'd admitted he smoked. (If the premium for smokers was double, for example, they should get half the face amount.) The judge disagreed, saying that awarding the lower face amount would encourage people to lie since they had nothing to lose- worst case, they'd get what they'd been entitled to if they'd been honest. Actuaries do NOT love having to price coverage for a particular segment of the population when the data includes people who lied about their rating factors to get a better rate.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 14, 2017 14:42:42 GMT -5
looks like mom didn't get the job. The guy didn't call back. Of course my mom waiting so long and asking for so much time for her to "decide" (2 weeks from when he made the initial job offer) didn't help (IMO). She is going to try to call Monday again, but it doesn't look good, mom tried to call twice on Thursday and he said he would call back and hasn't. Also mom has to do an in person thingee with unemployment office on Monday, so from talking to her I think reality is finally starting to sink in.....more to follow How did her appointment go?
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Aug 14, 2017 14:54:25 GMT -5
I know this is off-topic but your post really surprised me. Having been on these boards for a number of years and reading of your difficulties with your MIL, this is just not the picture of her life I expected. I had assumed she was an upper-middle class matriarch living in a very expensive 'cottage' in the Cotswolds or somewhere similar.
It's funny you should mention that - I think that's how she pictures herself as well. Except she'd have a cottage in Devon. I do think that she grew up in an upper middle class family and there was a little bit of a scandal that she married someone who was in a class "lower" than hers. Reading between the lines, I think there was also some family disapproval that her husband continued on in his work as a farm laborer. My guess is that part of why she did that was that she truly, madly deeply loved him (and he her.) But I also think some of their happiness was habit or as they'd say "sheer bloody mindedness". In other words, she'd made her decision to marry for love and no matter what, they were darn well going to be happy even if they weren't. Both were huge on duty, custom and doing what was expected so marrying out of station had to have been a huge break with who they were as people. She never complains or comments on any of this, so I could be completely wrong. It's just what I've pieced together from comments other relatives have made and my understanding about what's important to her. Edited to add - just realized and asked DH - the inheritance wasn't FIL's, it was MIL's. That makes more sense. My Gran is from Cheltenham, and her father was a labourer and her mother was a SAHM. But, she was from Cheltenham, and so she automatically thought that she was higher class than people from Gloucester. Even at almost 90 she still yammers on about it. Although Devon? At least the weather is more likely to be better. And I believe in the UK, it is easier to get by on a lot less given you don't have to worry about healthcare, and you get things like a heating allowance during the winter and bus pass. Well that's providing that you own a home. It's not pretty, but it's doable. Here I think it's very challenging to close to impossible. I think sometimes you just have to let people work things out on their own. Because sometimes that is the only way they will get themselves sorted out. Although I say this, and I know it's easier in word than deed.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Aug 14, 2017 15:43:56 GMT -5
looks like mom didn't get the job. The guy didn't call back. Of course my mom waiting so long and asking for so much time for her to "decide" (2 weeks from when he made the initial job offer) didn't help (IMO). She is going to try to call Monday again, but it doesn't look good, mom tried to call twice on Thursday and he said he would call back and hasn't. Also mom has to do an in person thingee with unemployment office on Monday, so from talking to her I think reality is finally starting to sink in.....more to follow How did her appointment go?
I'll find out later tonight, I usually call her after the wife & I go to the gym in the evening
When I talked to mom yesterday she was a bit nervous, wasn't sure if she should drive to the unemployment office (not sure about parking sitch) or take public transpo. Was afraid to get lost or finding the place. We'll see....More to follow
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