toomuchreality
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 10, 2017 21:15:06 GMT -5
It is written that men have only 2 emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection........make him a sandwich..... Can't I just make him a sandwich, if I see him with an erection? Might be easier than a headache!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Jun 11, 2017 5:46:02 GMT -5
Oh Man!! Another of the world's oldest men has died.........I don't know about you, but this is starting to look suspicious!!!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Jun 15, 2017 9:51:40 GMT -5
Thjs, direct from the old folks home; NEVER, NEVER, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill.....AND......a laxative on the same night!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2017 9:56:46 GMT -5
Thjs, direct from the old folks home; NEVER, NEVER, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill.....AND......a laxative on the same night!
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jun 15, 2017 18:30:48 GMT -5
What happens if you take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the time?
You sleep like a baby (literally)
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jun 15, 2017 18:31:31 GMT -5
How do trees access the internet?
They log on
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jun 15, 2017 18:32:40 GMT -5
What do you call a doll on fire?
A Barbie-Q
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 17, 2017 13:21:33 GMT -5
Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet every morning?
To feed the toilet duck.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Jun 22, 2017 9:21:53 GMT -5
What do cats have for breakfast? Mice Crispies!!
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 24, 2017 2:22:17 GMT -5
If you blink slow enough it turns into a nap.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Jun 24, 2017 12:36:22 GMT -5
What kind of car do cats drive?.........."catillacs"
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 29, 2017 18:46:55 GMT -5
bwahahaha!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Jul 2, 2017 6:15:55 GMT -5
What kind of dog likes taking a bath?........A Shampoodle!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jul 2, 2017 6:46:49 GMT -5
What kind of dog likes taking a bath?........A Shampoodle! Groan!
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 4, 2017 9:46:00 GMT -5
Semi corny, semi patriotic (for the 4th of July)....hopefully no one is offended..... I thought it was funny & patriotic.......
Why are there no Knock-knock jokes about America?
Because Freedom Rings!!!!
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 10, 2017 7:23:18 GMT -5
Why did Mickey Mouse go into space?
He wanted to visit Pluto.
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Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 12, 2017 6:27:30 GMT -5
from the news:
Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 29, 2024 15:41:18 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2017 18:50:09 GMT -5
Q: How does someone married to God keep a secret? A: Nun of your business!
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tigerpause
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Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
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Post by tigerpause on Jul 13, 2017 0:49:07 GMT -5
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 13, 2017 8:44:20 GMT -5
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. My wife says, "With no entry fee".
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 17, 2017 12:57:12 GMT -5
if atheletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
mistletoe!
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 29, 2024 15:41:18 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2017 17:35:24 GMT -5
What do you call a singing computer?
Adele
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 29, 2024 15:41:18 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2017 17:36:19 GMT -5
What do you call birds that stick together?
Vel-crows!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2017 17:37:53 GMT -5
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?
Snowballs!
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 17, 2017 19:10:44 GMT -5
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? Snowballs! Joke of the day
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 19, 2017 7:37:19 GMT -5
Who makes a living driving their customers away?
A taxi driver
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 19, 2017 8:10:22 GMT -5
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Jul 19, 2017 9:51:59 GMT -5
What do you get when you cross a dog with a lion? .........A terrified postman.......
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 19, 2017 10:50:00 GMT -5
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jul 20, 2017 10:16:29 GMT -5
a man applies for financial assistance.
he says, "I'm having trouble with my eyes"
the clerk asks, "what seems to be the problem?"
he says, "I can't see myself going to work"
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