'Evil does in fact die,' Obituary

[swamp]

Feb 13, 2017 10:58:12 GMT -5 milee said:

Feb 13, 2017 10:09:18 GMT -5 tractor said:

I'm sure there are many stories like this out there. I got to know my gentle older neighbor, and enjoyed his stories for three years before he died. He son wanted to sell me the house (which we bought). When I asked why he didn't want it, he told me the gentle old man I knew was an abusive alcoholic father who made everyone's lives a living hell and the house held nothing bad bad memories for him.

Everybody assumes that not only are they a good judge of character but that people always act the same no matter what the situation or who they are interacting with.  This is a bad assumption and has been responsible for the perpetuation of many awful things.  Maybe we should explicitly teach the truth in schools.  And the truth is:  it is very difficult to ever really know someone well and almost impossible to predict how that person is going to act in different situations with different people.  A person who is kind in public can be cruel in private.  A person who is respectful to you may be abusive to someone who they perceive to be inferior.  Do not judge people by your brief social interactions.


If more people learned this truth, so much abuse could be eliminated.  From the priests who prey on children to the star athletes who prey on women to the community leaders who beat their wives to the outwardly Godly parents who beat their children, all those people are protected by the rest of us being unwilling to believe that such a nice person could do such a thing.  

I wish this could be broadcast 1,000 times.

This is how abusers get away with it.   

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2017 11:44:55 GMT -5 swamp said:

Feb 13, 2017 10:58:12 GMT -5 milee said:

If more people learned this truth, so much abuse could be eliminated.  From the priests who prey on children to the star athletes who prey on women to the community leaders who beat their wives to the outwardly Godly parents who beat their children, all those people are protected by the rest of us being unwilling to believe that such a nice person could do such a thing.  

I wish this could be broadcast 1,000 times.

This is how abusers get away with it.   

Yep- my Ex was smart, well-dressed, talked a good game and could be very charming. Fortunately he wasn't as bad the guy in the obituary but they shared some of the same traits. I'd been divorced from him for 13 years when he died but never would have written an obituary like that even if it had been my responsibility. I suppose for some people it would be cathartic, though.

[swamp]

I think it would be cathartic to write it, giggle to myself, and then throw it away.

[tskeeter]

Feb 12, 2017 18:55:07 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Let this be a sober reminder to all: never let your ex write your obituary.

Or your emotionally/physically battered children.

[tskeeter]

Feb 13, 2017 10:34:14 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

LOL!  I would have somebody like that cremated and then use them for kitty litter.  I wouldn't need to mention anything any where to any body because I'd know and that would be enough!     

POM, was it you who abandon Dennis' ashes at the curb of a hotel parking lot in Yuma, AZ?  I was wondering about the circumstances behind how they got there.

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 14, 2017 18:27:19 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Feb 13, 2017 10:34:14 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

LOL!  I would have somebody like that cremated and then use them for kitty litter.  I wouldn't need to mention anything any where to any body because I'd know and that would be enough!     

POM, was it you who abandon Dennis' ashes at the curb of a hotel parking lot in Yuma, AZ?  I was wondering about the circumstances behind how they got there.

LOL!  No, his name wasn't Dennis.  

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 13, 2017 11:39:58 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Back in the early 70s I was unfortunately a witness to what goes on behind closed family doors.

My younger sister lived in an commune in New Mexico back then and my parents were worried about her so they sent me to visit her and make sure she was okay.  My sister was friends with a guy who visited the commune but did not live there.  The friend rented a room with a family who lived in the Sandia mountains outside the city of Albuquerque.  While I was there, the friend asked my sister and I if we would like to spend the weekend up in the mountains.  We said sure.  The friend rented a room in a home owned by a divorced woman and her two adopted sons aged 16 and 11.  The woman was pleasant enough and her sons were okay.  

That Saturday night, while my sister and I slept on the floor in her friend's bedroom, we heard loud screaming in the house.  We raced out of the bedroom to see what was going it.  The screaming was coming from the mother's bedroom.  We entered the room to see both the mother and older son naked on her bed.  She had the older son in scissors lock and she was pulling his hair out of her head.  We broke them up and the boy escaped his mother's bedroom.

Apparently, the mother had been forcing her older son to have sex with her which he complied with because she threatened to tell her divorced husband, a lawyer, the older son had been raping her for several years and that he and his younger brother would be sent to foster homes as punishment.  The older boy also told us the mother used to shoot her shotgun at the boy's feet to scare him to comply with her sexual demands.  My sister and I got out of there as soon as possible the following morning.  

I don't know what happened to the two boys.  I wish my sister, her friend, and I had done something to help the boys but back then we just didn't know what to do as it was so much out of the realm of our existing experiences.

I imagine if the boys are still alive they would have had plenty to say in their mother's obituary had they had the opportunity to write it.  Their adoptive mother was evil personified.

OMG!!!  Why are there so many sick, evil, and cruel people in the world?!  That poor boy.    I hope like hell they got away from that situation. 

I'm sorry you two didn't know what to do back then but I have no doubt you'd know now.  I'm sure this haunts you and I'm sorry for the boys and I'm sorry you two witnessed it.  That woman is just disgusting. 

[Tennesseer]

Feb 14, 2017 21:21:20 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

OMG!!!  Why are there so many sick, evil, and cruel people in the world?!  That poor boy.    I hope like hell they got away from that situation. 

I'm sorry you two didn't know what to do back then but I have no doubt you'd know now.  I'm sure this haunts you and I'm sorry for the boys and I'm sorry you two witnessed it.  That woman is just disgusting. 

Back then, the newspapers didn't report incidents like this let alone mention incest even existed. No internet to lean about it. We wouldn't have known to contact CPS or anything like that. It was completely foreign as incest was usually not witnessed by non-family friends or even just introduced house guests.

We three spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to help the boys. The only solution we could come up with was how to murder the woman and then keep the reason why we did it secret as we wanted to protect the boys from whatever stigma may be put on them. But we decided murder was out of the question.

We were naive.

[Phoenix84]

While I can understand not speaking ill of the dead, I have always scoffed a bit at the notion that everyone seems to die at the corner of sainthood and perfection.

[Phoenix84]

Feb 13, 2017 10:58:12 GMT -5 milee said:

Feb 13, 2017 10:09:18 GMT -5 tractor said:

I'm sure there are many stories like this out there. I got to know my gentle older neighbor, and enjoyed his stories for three years before he died. He son wanted to sell me the house (which we bought). When I asked why he didn't want it, he told me the gentle old man I knew was an abusive alcoholic father who made everyone's lives a living hell and the house held nothing bad bad memories for him.

Everybody assumes that not only are they a good judge of character but that people always act the same no matter what the situation or who they are interacting with.  This is a bad assumption and has been responsible for the perpetuation of many awful things.  Maybe we should explicitly teach the truth in schools.  And the truth is:  it is very difficult to ever really know someone well and almost impossible to predict how that person is going to act in different situations with different people.  A person who is kind in public can be cruel in private.  A person who is respectful to you may be abusive to someone who they perceive to be inferior.  Do not judge people by your brief social interactions.


If more people learned this truth, so much abuse could be eliminated.  From the priests who prey on children to the star athletes who prey on women to the community leaders who beat their wives to the outwardly Godly parents who beat their children, all those people are protected by the rest of us being unwilling to believe that such a nice person could do such a thing.  

This is a good point.  How many times does someone commit a heinous crime and everyone who knew the perpetrator says "oh, he was so nice and friendly."

I guess we just need to accept it's hard to really know anyone, or what they're capable of.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 15, 2017 10:45:45 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

While I can understand not speaking ill of the dead, I have always scoffed a bit at the notion that everyone seems to die at the corner of sainthood and perfection.

The unofficial definition of a saint: Someone who had a good biographer and an even better editor.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 14, 2017 22:09:18 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Feb 14, 2017 21:21:20 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

OMG!!!  Why are there so many sick, evil, and cruel people in the world?!  That poor boy.    I hope like hell they got away from that situation. 

I'm sorry you two didn't know what to do back then but I have no doubt you'd know now.  I'm sure this haunts you and I'm sorry for the boys and I'm sorry you two witnessed it.  That woman is just disgusting. 

Back then, the newspapers didn't report incidents like this let alone mention incest even existed. No internet to lean about it. We wouldn't have known to contact CPS or anything like that. It was completely foreign as incest was usually not witnessed by non-family friends or even just introduced house guests.

We three spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to help the boys. The only solution we could come up with was how to murder the woman and then keep the reason why we did it secret as we wanted to protect the boys from whatever stigma may be put on them. But we decided murder was out of the question.

We were naive.

chloroform her, get the boys out of the house, then set it on fire.

I mean, theoretically.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Feb 15, 2017 11:55:17 GMT -5 deminmaine said:

Jerry Sandusky was a real nice guy. A stand up citizen with an amazing charity. Need more like him.

It took finding a hard drive full of child porn and pictures of patients going back to the 1980's before people would believe that a local highly regarded pediatrician was a pedophile.

And there were STILL people who didn't believe it.

He was so highly regarded and so well known that they ended up having to move the case out of the county in order to find an unbiased jury.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Feb 13, 2017 11:44:55 GMT -5 swamp said:

Feb 13, 2017 10:58:12 GMT -5 milee said:

Everybody assumes that not only are they a good judge of character but that people always act the same no matter what the situation or who they are interacting with.  This is a bad assumption and has been responsible for the perpetuation of many awful things.  Maybe we should explicitly teach the truth in schools.  And the truth is:  it is very difficult to ever really know someone well and almost impossible to predict how that person is going to act in different situations with different people.  A person who is kind in public can be cruel in private.  A person who is respectful to you may be abusive to someone who they perceive to be inferior.  Do not judge people by your brief social interactions.


If more people learned this truth, so much abuse could be eliminated.  From the priests who prey on children to the star athletes who prey on women to the community leaders who beat their wives to the outwardly Godly parents who beat their children, all those people are protected by the rest of us being unwilling to believe that such a nice person could do such a thing.  

I wish this could be broadcast 1,000 times.

This is how abusers get away with it.   

I'm here too.

When I was still living in KY, my next door neighbor was an elderly woman.  I enjoyed her company, but she had a horrible relationship with her daughter and SIL.  She told me all of their (perceived) transgressions, and for awhile I bought them.  When we'd go to dinner, she'd mention some of her other friends, and she made some really nasty comments about them.  I had no idea.

She got sick, and I spoke to one of the women (that she made some nasty comments about to me) in the parking lot as the ambulance took my neighbor away.  It started out warily, as it turned out that my neighbor had said as nasty things about me to her friend as she said to me about her friend.  Her friend gave me the phone number of her daughter and SIL, and I called them to tell them about her mother.  I had a key to my neighbor's apartment (to take care of her cat) and I was getting ready to go away, so I needed to make sure that the cat was taken care of.  So her SIL came to me to pick up the key and we had a nice discussion over a beer.

As it turned out, my neighbor had been playing all of us to get what she wanted.  But when her SIL told me some of the things that my neighbor had done to her daughter (his wife), I was utterly amazed.  It wasn't anything like my neighbor told me.  His wife simply had to back away from any sort of loving relationship with her mother for her own mental health.  Years of abuse by my neighbor had necessitated lots of therapy for his wife to even have a cordial relationship with her mom.  It was sad, because my neighbor died alone.

[Phoenix84]

Feb 15, 2017 12:30:02 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 15, 2017 11:55:17 GMT -5 deminmaine said:

Jerry Sandusky was a real nice guy. A stand up citizen with an amazing charity. Need more like him.

It took finding a hard drive full of child porn and pictures of patients going back to the 1980's before people would believe that a local highly regarded pediatrician was a pedophile.

And there were STILL people who didn't believe it.

He was so highly regarded and so well known that they ended up having to move the case out of the county in order to find an unbiased jury.

I take it he was convicted?  Hope so.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Feb 15, 2017 14:50:11 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Feb 15, 2017 12:30:02 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

It took finding a hard drive full of child porn and pictures of patients going back to the 1980's before people would believe that a local highly regarded pediatrician was a pedophile.

And there were STILL people who didn't believe it.

He was so highly regarded and so well known that they ended up having to move the case out of the county in order to find an unbiased jury.

I take it he was convicted?  Hope so.

Yes he was.  He will die in prison.

The really sad part was that his 4 year old grand daughter was one of his victims.  This city drug that poor girl and her father thru the mud.    I applaud him for being able to stand against it and continue to practice medicine here.  I would have moved.  I would be homicidal if I had to face the people who called my daughter "deranged".

[Phoenix84]

Glad to hear he got what he deserved.

[naughtybear]

Though I would love too, I would take the high road, it's just my nature. God help my nature.


Edit to add... I would not attend the funeral. That would be my fuck you.

Some family members love me still, others think I am the devil incarnate. Either way I know what went on.

[Sam_2.0]

Feb 12, 2017 17:21:30 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I thought this was going to be about the KKK grand wizard who just died.

Ahh, the Ancona family. Lovely legacy of car dealers here in the KC area. Not surprised to have his associations confirmed, sadly.

[milee]

Feb 17, 2017 17:20:24 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2017 17:21:30 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I thought this was going to be about the KKK grand wizard who just died.

Ahh, the Ancona family. Lovely legacy of car dealers here in the KC area. Not surprised to have his associations confirmed, sadly.

OMG, people in your area have to buy cars from a family associated with the KKK? Yuck. I thought it was bad around here when one of the big dealerships was owned by the crooked Congressman's family and another by a crooked businessman, but no way in Hades would I give a dime to a business associated with the KKK.