mandatory life lessons

[wyouser]

That living alone on your own needs to apply to EVERYONE! (Especially every single one of that class of people who write the rules on how everyone else is to live their life) You will also learn to appreciate those little bits of advice that make things so much easier when you are living alone. Like the incredible eating experience when you girlfriend points out that you "cook" the pasta before adding it to the hamburger (really folks it isn't suppose to be real real crunchy when served. Now, that part about learning how to balance a check book......I'm not so sure about that. I was in control of my checkbook for 4 years. never bounced a check either. Then, I got married. 60 days later I was told my system was incomprehensible. I haven't balanced a checkbook since. At the end of 10 years I was told there was enough of my having my own checkbook because my bookkeeper could not be sure how many checks were even out. So that went away. Hell, 25 years ago my company mandated direct electronic deposit of my paychecks meaning I have no clue what I make. On the other hand, come June, we will celebrate 45 years of marriage. In fact we have worked together in the same office for 29 years and no one has died yet!

[weltschmerz]

Feb 9, 2017 18:34:33 GMT -5 haapai said:

Here's one life lesson that I wouldn't wish on anyone but wish that more folks understood. 

Emergency funds are for unemployment.  The folks that tell you that they are for automobile repairs and medical expenses and house fires are trying to make them sound more appealing, and probably not doing you any kind of favor. 

"Doc, put that scalpel away! I don't need a coronary bypass! I'm saving that money for when I'm unemployed!"

[Peace77]

Feb 9, 2017 18:34:33 GMT -5 haapai said:

Here's one life lesson that I wouldn't wish on anyone but wish that more folks understood. 

Emergency funds are for unemployment.  The folks that tell you that they are for automobile repairs and medical expenses and house fires are trying to make them sound more appealing, and probably not doing you any kind of favor. 

Actually, 
An Emergency Fund is for any kind of financial emergency.  Many people figure that they don't need to save because they will just collect unemployment benefits.  Many people have less than $400 in savings and couldn't cover a $400 emergency expense.

A life skill would be to save for future emergencies.

[steph08]

I lived on my own at college, but other than that, I lived at my parents' house until DH and I got married. 

DH was also my first and only boyfriend. We've been married 7 years and together for 11.5 and we have two kids, so I think it's going okay... 

And you know what? I know all about turning the heat down, balancing a checkbook, cooking meals, and so much more! 

 

[milee]

Feb 9, 2017 14:32:31 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Feb 9, 2017 13:08:52 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Do you even need to get that deep into it?

Boss:  "The heating bill is TOO DAMN HIGH"

Employee:  "Then turn the heat down genius"

Boss:  "I would, but Janet keeps turning it up"

Employee:  "Janet says you don't have the balls to fire her over the heat, you should show her who's boss"

Is a meeting really needed?  I mean, nobody is going to invent a low-cost method of heating office space in this meeting.  It's a simple problem...the heating bill is too high...turn the heat down. 

No. But at least it's a conversation that's out in the open, rather than finger pointing during water cooler conversations.

Finger pointing doesn't solve issues,

And, in your conversation, you'll note employee has not set boundaries about not wanting to hear the shit anymore, regardless of whether the boss has done anything.

If the issue is so bad, the boss would have fired the part time , entitled worker a long time ago.

In my office place, I'm not going to get  far going to my bosses and telling them they aren't doing their job like I want them to. I'm guessing, I'd be escorted out and have to find a new place of employment.

That's because you're female, including lacking the other indicators that people subconsciously associate with leadership such as height and deep voice pitch.  So when Hoops - who is a tall male - says things like this to his boss, people view that as him acting like a leader with a sense of humor.  He is viewed as a strong person who is using humor to solve a problem, a real "go getter."  

When you as a short woman with a female voice that's also pitched higher than a man's make those statements, you're viewed as a sarcastic bitch who needs to learn some workplace manners.

Seriously.  Yet another example of how the exact same behaviour helps men and hurts women when it comes to raises and promotions...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Feb 10, 2017 9:24:00 GMT -5 milee said:

Feb 9, 2017 14:32:31 GMT -5 giramomma said:

No. But at least it's a conversation that's out in the open, rather than finger pointing during water cooler conversations.

Finger pointing doesn't solve issues,

And, in your conversation, you'll note employee has not set boundaries about not wanting to hear the shit anymore, regardless of whether the boss has done anything.

If the issue is so bad, the boss would have fired the part time , entitled worker a long time ago.

In my office place, I'm not going to get  far going to my bosses and telling them they aren't doing their job like I want them to. I'm guessing, I'd be escorted out and have to find a new place of employment.

That's because you're female, including lacking the other indicators that people subconsciously associate with leadership such as height and deep voice pitch.  So when Hoops - who is a tall male - says things like this to his boss, people view that as him acting like a leader with a sense of humor.  He is viewed as a strong person who is using humor to solve a problem, a real "go getter."  

When you as a short woman with a female voice that's also pitched higher than a man's make those statements, you're viewed as a sarcastic bitch who needs to learn some workplace manners.

Seriously.  Yet another example of how the exact same behaviour helps men and hurts women when it comes to raises and promotions...

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 9, 2017 19:00:53 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Feb 9, 2017 18:34:33 GMT -5 haapai said:

Here's one life lesson that I wouldn't wish on anyone but wish that more folks understood. 

Emergency funds are for unemployment.  The folks that tell you that they are for automobile repairs and medical expenses and house fires are trying to make them sound more appealing, and probably not doing you any kind of favor. 

"Doc, put that scalpel away! I don't need a coronary bypass! I'm saving that money for when I'm unemployed!"

Lmao, I was seriously like WTF? What am I supposed to use to pay my auto repair bill then?

[MJ2.0]

Feb 10, 2017 9:56:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:24:00 GMT -5 milee said:

That's because you're female, including lacking the other indicators that people subconsciously associate with leadership such as height and deep voice pitch.  So when Hoops - who is a tall male - says things like this to his boss, people view that as him acting like a leader with a sense of humor.  He is viewed as a strong person who is using humor to solve a problem, a real "go getter."  

When you as a short woman with a female voice that's also pitched higher than a man's make those statements, you're viewed as a sarcastic bitch who needs to learn some workplace manners.

Seriously.  Yet another example of how the exact same behaviour helps men and hurts women when it comes to raises and promotions...

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

You guys should have capes, and they should have a picture of a vagina next to wadded up panties.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Feb 10, 2017 10:07:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 9, 2017 19:00:53 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

"Doc, put that scalpel away! I don't need a coronary bypass! I'm saving that money for when I'm unemployed!"

Lmao, I was seriously like WTF? What am I supposed to use to pay my auto repair bill then?

I'm guessing that you are supposed to make enough salary wise and restrain yourself enough spending wise that you can fund all auto repair bills, medical bills, your entire house burning down and any other unplanned expense completely out of your paycheck without touching a single dime of your EF until/unless you lose your job.

I am clearly a failure because I do not make enough to be able to cover every single unplanned expense without touching my savings.   That's what my savings is for, so I have the money there when I need it regardless of the reason.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 10, 2017 10:09:36 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 10, 2017 10:07:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Lmao, I was seriously like WTF? What am I supposed to use to pay my auto repair bill then?

I'm guessing that you are supposed to make enough salary wise and restrain yourself enough spending wise that you can fund all auto repair bills, medical bills, your entire house burning down and any other unplanned expense completely out of your paycheck without touching a single dime of your EF until/unless you lose your job.

I am clearly a failure because I do not make enough to be able to cover every single unplanned expense without touching my savings.   That's what my savings is for, so I have the money there when I need it regardless of the reason.

So for some of us, that means living in a refrigerator box in an alley.

[milee]

Feb 10, 2017 10:09:17 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:56:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

You guys should have capes, and they should have a picture of a vagina next to wadded up panties.

My cape is made up of my big girl panties.  It's a pretty small cape.

[Pants]

Feb 10, 2017 9:56:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:24:00 GMT -5 milee said:

That's because you're female, including lacking the other indicators that people subconsciously associate with leadership such as height and deep voice pitch.  So when Hoops - who is a tall male - says things like this to his boss, people view that as him acting like a leader with a sense of humor.  He is viewed as a strong person who is using humor to solve a problem, a real "go getter."  

When you as a short woman with a female voice that's also pitched higher than a man's make those statements, you're viewed as a sarcastic bitch who needs to learn some workplace manners.

Seriously.  Yet another example of how the exact same behaviour helps men and hurts women when it comes to raises and promotions...

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

Can I join please? My wadded up panties are so uncomfortable it makes me so cranky all the time and I blame men!

[Pants]

Feb 10, 2017 10:07:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 9, 2017 19:00:53 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

"Doc, put that scalpel away! I don't need a coronary bypass! I'm saving that money for when I'm unemployed!"

Lmao, I was seriously like WTF? What am I supposed to use to pay my auto repair bill then?

I do have separate emergency funds and sinking funds. Sinking funds are for car repairs, insurance, etc. But in the end I would use one for the other in a pinch so i'm not sure it matters?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Feb 10, 2017 10:26:08 GMT -5 Pants said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:56:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

Can I join please? My wadded up panties are so uncomfortable it makes me so cranky all the time and I blame men!

Depends are you turning over rocks looking for something to be easily offended by every time you step out the door?

[Pants]

Feb 10, 2017 10:59:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 10, 2017 10:26:08 GMT -5 Pants said:

Can I join please? My wadded up panties are so uncomfortable it makes me so cranky all the time and I blame men!

Depends are you turning over rocks looking for something to be easily offended by every time you step out the door?

Yes, yes I am. A man held the door for me the other day so I punched him in the nuts and yelled at him for being a chauvinist.

[raeoflyte]

Feb 10, 2017 10:28:03 GMT -5 Pants said:

Feb 10, 2017 10:07:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Lmao, I was seriously like WTF? What am I supposed to use to pay my auto repair bill then?

I do have separate emergency funds and sinking funds. Sinking funds are for car repairs, insurance, etc. But in the end I would use one for the other in a pinch so i'm not sure it matters?

I know I didn't have a concept of sinking funds though, so figuring that out earlier would have been helpful.  I knew you were supposed to save for retirement, and that you were really just supposed to save in general but the idea that you're saving some money specifically to spend it was a tough concept for me to peel away from saving some money that you really shouldn't spend unless you absolutely have to...  Idk, I'm pretty slow sometimes.  

[Pants]

Feb 10, 2017 11:17:44 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Feb 10, 2017 10:28:03 GMT -5 Pants said:

I do have separate emergency funds and sinking funds. Sinking funds are for car repairs, insurance, etc. But in the end I would use one for the other in a pinch so i'm not sure it matters?

I know I didn't have a concept of sinking funds though, so figuring that out earlier would have been helpful.  I knew you were supposed to save for retirement, and that you were really just supposed to save in general but the idea that you're saving some money specifically to spend it was a tough concept for me to peel away from saving some money that you really shouldn't spend unless you absolutely have to...  Idk, I'm pretty slow sometimes.  

I didn't figure out sinking funds until i found this board, so... def still a lesson I wish i'd learned earlier!

[MJ2.0]

maybe I'm just a slack-jawed yokel, but money saved is money saved. Whether it's in a sinking fund, vacation fund, EF.... you are saving it and will use it when necessary.

[swasat]

My panties are so much in wad from squirming and screaming I am going commando!! 

I yell at my phone these days, my PHONE! Because DH texts me something along the lines of ..... "Was out of ziti so made pasta with rotini". I am a hot screaming mess and I hate the mankind with a passion.

I blame the Prez. 

[MJ2.0]

Feb 10, 2017 13:46:25 GMT -5 swasat said:

My panties are so much in wad from squirming and screaming I am going commando!! 

I yell at my phone these days, my PHONE! Because DH texts me something along the lines of ..... "Was out of ziti so made pasta with rotini". I am a hot screaming mess and I hate the mankind with a passion.

I blame the Prez. 

[swasat]

LOL MJ2.0 !!!


 

[MJ2.0]

Just trying to help!

[quince]

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose fuse has been trimmed to nonexistence. 


We just keep our "extra" money in savings accounts and figure it will be enough. It really does lead to the ooh, dip into savings? Agony! Pain! Feelings of failure! Even though that is what the money is being saved for! Money is saved so that when outgo exceeds inflow temporarily you can meet your obligations. 

I like the word fungible for some reason. It sounds...squishy. And moist.

[swamp]

Feb 10, 2017 9:56:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:24:00 GMT -5 milee said:

That's because you're female, including lacking the other indicators that people subconsciously associate with leadership such as height and deep voice pitch.  So when Hoops - who is a tall male - says things like this to his boss, people view that as him acting like a leader with a sense of humor.  He is viewed as a strong person who is using humor to solve a problem, a real "go getter."  

When you as a short woman with a female voice that's also pitched higher than a man's make those statements, you're viewed as a sarcastic bitch who needs to learn some workplace manners.

Seriously.  Yet another example of how the exact same behaviour helps men and hurts women when it comes to raises and promotions...

Congrats milee you just joined me and imawino in the "panties in a wad seeking offense everywhere" club.

I'm in!!!

[swamp]

Feb 10, 2017 18:09:17 GMT -5 quince said:

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose fuse has been trimmed to nonexistence. 


We just keep our "extra" money in savings accounts and figure it will be enough. It really does lead to the ooh, dip into savings? Agony! Pain! Feelings of failure! Even though that is what the money is being saved for! Money is saved so that when outgo exceeds inflow temporarily you can meet your obligations. 

I like the word fungible for some reason. It sounds...squishy. And moist.

And mushroomy. 

[mamasita99]

Feb 10, 2017 19:39:30 GMT -5 swamp said:

Feb 10, 2017 18:09:17 GMT -5 quince said:

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose fuse has been trimmed to nonexistence. 


We just keep our "extra" money in savings accounts and figure it will be enough. It really does lead to the ooh, dip into savings? Agony! Pain! Feelings of failure! Even though that is what the money is being saved for! Money is saved so that when outgo exceeds inflow temporarily you can meet your obligations. 

I like the word fungible for some reason. It sounds...squishy. And moist.

And mushroomy. 

It is a dangerous word- yes, squishy and moist, but candida and yeast also come to my mind. Yes, I might be drinking...

[whoisjohngalt]

I couldn't even finish the first page of this thread.

Talk about judgemental!!

People either learn things when they need it or find ways around it.

I lived on my own - it didn't teach me anything, except may be never to have another roommate.
I used to play with thermostat - didn't save any money that way
I've been poor - the only thing it "taught me" is that now I have a very low risk tolerance and fear of not having enough money.

I think everyone should learn to mind their own business and stop thinking about what everyone else around them should be learning and doing!

[justme]

I've lived alone for 7 years and counting now. With another 5 with non family roommates including two in a townhouse not a dorm.

Do I win the YM thread?

[MJ2.0]

Feb 10, 2017 23:30:28 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I couldn't even finish the first page of this thread.

Talk about judgemental!!

People either learn things when they need it or find ways around it.

I lived on my own - it didn't teach me anything, except may be never to have another roommate.
I used to play with thermostat - didn't save any money that way
I've been poor - the only thing it "taught me" is that now I have a very low risk tolerance and fear of not having enough money.

I think everyone should learn to mind their own business and stop thinking about what everyone else around them should be learning and doing!

It's the mentality of "I have to suffer so you should too" or "if I can do it, anyone should be able to do it." Very prevalent on YM.

[swamp]

Feb 10, 2017 23:30:28 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I couldn't even finish the first page of this thread.

Talk about judgemental!!

People either learn things when they need it or find ways around it.

I lived on my own - it didn't teach me anything, except may be never to have another roommate.
I used to play with thermostat - didn't save any money that way
I've been poor - the only thing it "taught me" is that now I have a very low risk tolerance and fear of not having enough money.

I think everyone should learn to mind their own business and stop thinking about what everyone else around them should be learning and doing!

I still think you need to know how to unclog a toilet.  And cook something.  But not at the same time.