Ten years of your opinions on my money

[Firebird]

I obviously haven't been around a ton lately, but I've been part of this board (off and on) since 2006. That's a long time and a freaking ETERNITY for an online community!

So I'm going to be mawkish for a moment. I really love this community, always have, and you people are largely responsible for the relative stability of mine and DH's financial life. (I learned recently that a huge majority of people in this country have less than $5k saved for retirement... many have nothing at all. Gulp. We should probably start evangelizing!)

And personally, the friendships have been amazing. On and off the board there are people here that I truly care about and vice versa.

So... thank you from 20 year old me and 30 year old me, and every year in between.

[gs11rmb]

Did you move to Boone?

[Bonny]

Feb 8, 2017 11:22:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I obviously haven't been around a ton lately, but I've been part of this board (off and on) since 2006. That's a long time and a freaking ETERNITY for an online community!

So I'm going to be mawkish for a moment. I really love this community, always have, and you people are largely responsible for the relative stability of mine and DH's financial life. (I learned recently that a huge majority of people in this country have less than $5k saved for retirement... many have nothing at all. Gulp. We should probably start evangelizing!)

And personally, the friendships have been amazing. On and off the board there are people here that I truly care about and vice versa.

So... thank you from 20 year old me and 30 year old me, and every year in between.

Thanks for checking in; it's good to hear from you!

Would love to hear where you guys wound up in OR?

[gs11rmb]

Feb 8, 2017 13:05:10 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Feb 8, 2017 11:22:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Thanks for checking in; it's good to hear from you!

Would love to hear where you guys wound up in OR?

That's right. Boone is NC! Did it sound the same or am I making things up?

[wvugurl26]

Bend I think?

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

How's the job?  Did you get the promised raise?  

[tskeeter]

Feb 8, 2017 11:22:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I obviously haven't been around a ton lately, but I've been part of this board (off and on) since 2006. That's a long time and a freaking ETERNITY for an online community!

So I'm going to be mawkish for a moment. I really love this community, always have, and you people are largely responsible for the relative stability of mine and DH's financial life. (I learned recently that a huge majority of people in this country have less than $5k saved for retirement... many have nothing at all. Gulp. We should probably start evangelizing!)

And personally, the friendships have been amazing. On and off the board there are people here that I truly care about and vice versa.

So... thank you from 20 year old me and 30 year old me, and every year in between.

I have some concerns about the way that savings rates are used to support the claim that we're not saving enough.

First, consider government employees and what portion of the total population, they represent.  Many have very good pensions.  Dad's teacher's pension is nearly $100K a year.  At more than double the average household income, why would Dad need a massive retirement account?  The retired CA highway patrol officer a couple of doors down the street is in a similar situation.  Pension equal to his high one year earnings (est. $100K+), with COL adjustments, and no cost lifetime health insurance .  Or a teacher in our local school district, which contributes 24.75% of a teacher's salary to the teacher's retirement account.  A percentage that is well in excess of the rate of retirement savings recommended for even a luxurious retirement.

How about the low income working population?  SS alone will replace about 70% of the take home pay of many low income workers.  This based on estimates that I have made for a developmentally challenged BIL who works as a bag boy in a grocery store.  Folks such as my BIL really don't need a million dollar retirement account to maintain their standard of living.

What other groups are there that are in a similar retirement situation?  How realistically representative are the claims that seem to be mostly coming from retirement account custodian companies?

[shanendoah]

I am grateful to these boards for many things, but chief among them are my RL friendships with you and sheilaincali.

[Firebird]

Feb 8, 2017 13:16:45 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

How's the job?  Did you get the promised raise?  

The job is fantastic! I love it. It's not perfect but it's far and away the most interesting sort of project I've ever managed, plus I get to travel some (not everyone's cup of tea but I enjoy it).

And yes, I got exactly what I asked for at my 90 day review, which worked out to a 40% raise. I was pretty stoked, and I thought it was a very fair adjustment. Hopefully I'll eventually get my salary back up close to what I was making in California, but I'm in a good spot now.

DH is still making the same really good salary he was in Portland, because he still works for the same company. The lucky stiff gets to work from home and he's actually earning a little more than he did in California. I'm incredibly proud of him.

[Firebird]

We moved to Bend and it ROCKS here! Seriously, it took forever to find this place but we knew it when we saw it (and I mean that pretty much literally - we came here one weekend a little over a year ago just for a random visit and by the end of the first evening DH and I were looking out the window of our hotel room and wondering aloud if we should maybe move here).

It's hard to overemphasize how amazing it is to finally be home. We belong here. It's a little further from Washington than we wanted but... it's home. It was home almost the very first weekend. And now we have our very own house. I never want to move again.

[Firebird]

Also, our new house has enough room to put up 4+ guests. So if you're not a crazy person and you're passing through here, hit me up.

[Bonny]

Feb 8, 2017 13:45:07 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Also, our new house has enough room to put up 4+ guests. So if you're not a crazy person and you're passing through here, hit me up.

Be careful what you offer...some us might just take you up on that; crazy or not!

Sooooo glad you found what you were looking for.

[Bonny]

Feb 8, 2017 13:18:58 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Feb 8, 2017 11:22:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I obviously haven't been around a ton lately, but I've been part of this board (off and on) since 2006. That's a long time and a freaking ETERNITY for an online community!

So I'm going to be mawkish for a moment. I really love this community, always have, and you people are largely responsible for the relative stability of mine and DH's financial life. (I learned recently that a huge majority of people in this country have less than $5k saved for retirement... many have nothing at all. Gulp. We should probably start evangelizing!)

And personally, the friendships have been amazing. On and off the board there are people here that I truly care about and vice versa.

So... thank you from 20 year old me and 30 year old me, and every year in between.

I have some concerns about the way that savings rates are used to support the claim that we're not saving enough.

First, consider government employees and what portion of the total population, they represent.  Many have very good pensions.  Dad's teacher's pension is nearly $100K a year.  At more than double the average household income, why would Dad need a massive retirement account?  The retired CA highway patrol officer a couple of doors down the street is in a similar situation.  Pension equal to his high one year earnings (est. $100K+), with COL adjustments, and no cost lifetime health insurance .  Or a teacher in our local school district, which contributes 24.75% of a teacher's salary to the teacher's retirement account.  A percentage that is well in excess of the rate of retirement savings recommended for even a luxurious retirement.

How about the low income working population?  SS alone will replace about 70% of the take home pay of many low income workers.  This based on estimates that I have made for a developmentally challenged BIL who works as a bag boy in a grocery store.  Folks such as my BIL really don't need a million dollar retirement account to maintain their standard of living.

What other groups are there that are in a similar retirement situation?  How realistically representative are the claims that seem to be mostly coming from retirement account custodian companies?

But, but, but that doesn't make for a good headline!

[Pants]

Don't forget our opinions on your relationship, child, pets, job and everything else.

ALSO - did you write a thank you to askananager a while back? It was after you posted about your potential raise and I saw a thank you detailing a very similar situation! I was immediately like - Firebird got her raise!!!

[cronewitch]

How is baby bird?

[cronewitch]

Feb 8, 2017 13:18:58 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Feb 8, 2017 11:22:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I have some concerns about the way that savings rates are used to support the claim that we're not saving enough.

First, consider government employees and what portion of the total population, they represent.  Many have very good pensions.  Dad's teacher's pension is nearly $100K a year.  At more than double the average household income, why would Dad need a massive retirement account?  The retired CA highway patrol officer a couple of doors down the street is in a similar situation.  Pension equal to his high one year earnings (est. $100K+), with COL adjustments, and no cost lifetime health insurance .  Or a teacher in our local school district, which contributes 24.75% of a teacher's salary to the teacher's retirement account.  A percentage that is well in excess of the rate of retirement savings recommended for even a luxurious retirement.

How about the low income working population?  SS alone will replace about 70% of the take home pay of many low income workers.  This based on estimates that I have made for a developmentally challenged BIL who works as a bag boy in a grocery store.  Folks such as my BIL really don't need a million dollar retirement account to maintain their standard of living.

What other groups are there that are in a similar retirement situation?  How realistically representative are the claims that seem to be mostly coming from retirement account custodian companies?

Some people have other assets that don't count as retirement assets like real estate, taxable investments or a business they can sell or keep owning in retirement. Some also expect inheritance or to sell the house for twice what replacement house cost. These retirement custodians also don't talk to each other so you might have 5K in the 401K but have rolled 50K into the IRA and have a ROTH with 50K and have pensions. My brother had a 401K, his wife a 403B and they each have SS and pensions the savings are icing on the cake. He is spending his on vacations and hers is giving her 1,800 a month from 62-90, don't know the balance but her advisor said she could have that much. When she is widowed she will lose his SS and pension and they may have spent all his money. Her money might run out and she will be low income elderly but still one SS and pension and house worth 500K.

[Firebird]

Feb 8, 2017 14:42:03 GMT -5 Pants said:

Don't forget our opinions on your relationship, child, pets, job and everything else.

ALSO - did you write a thank you to askananager a while back? It was after you posted about your potential raise and I saw a thank you detailing a very similar situation! I was immediately like - Firebird got her raise!!!

Oh dear lord. I never dreamed anyone would actually recognize me from that. Yeah, that was me!

[Firebird]

Feb 8, 2017 14:45:33 GMT -5 cronewitch said:

How is baby bird?

She's doing great! Unfortunately she won't be able to start kindergarten until a year from September even though she's developmentally ready this year (October birthday... sigh). She was dying to start this year so she is kind of disappointed. But that's all right. She is sassypants, opinionated, and a total girly girl. A very fun handful these days

What's everyone else up to these days? Any juicy board drama?

[Deleted]

Good to see you back here.  There's not much drama or fun because all the folks who shall not be named can't be named and are history.  But we still give awesome advice!

[NastyWoman]

Feb 8, 2017 21:30:38 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Good to see you back here.  There's not much drama or fun because all the folks who shall not be named can't be named and are history.  But we still give awesome advice!

. Still there have been a bunch of new babies, several tragedies with lost family members etc., houses bought and sold, good and not so good advice given, both friendly and not so friendly, and like almost everywhere else in the US there have been (and still is) some pretty vigorous, not always friendly, political discussions.

I still miss the endless threads started by she-who-shall-not-be-named.  But I also miss people like Dark who stopped posting after he and his family moved to Colorado, and several others. Unfortunately I am not very good at giving a short but specific synopsis of what has happened. So this generic one will have to do 

[Firebird]

I SO miss Doxshe-who-shall-not-be-named.

Interesting that I mentioned Babybird's kindergarten issue. I happened to pick her up from school yesterday (I usually don't) and had an interesting conversation with one of her teachers.

We keep hearing that Babybird is totally ready to start school, checks off all the boxes, etc. But according to her teacher, Babybird has been having multiple, highly emotional meltdowns per day. She has to get that under control before she can progress to kindergarten. So it's good she has the extra time.

I really wish parents were more open to hearing about this stuff (generally speaking) because the teacher was VISIBLY reluctant to criticize Babybird in any way, even in response to a direct question. This is the kind of thing I wish we'd known about sooner. But, at least we know now and we can work on it and ask for updates. (She is improving, according to the teacher - twice yesterday she was on the verge of a meltdown and was able to head it off using the calming breathing exercises the teacher has been showing her.)

Anyway. So another year and a half before she starts kindy might work out for the best, sounds like.

[HoneyBBQ]

I have a Dec birthday baby, and I'm honestly really glad she'll be one of the oldest and mature in her class. My niece is an October birthday, and the same thing goes to her, she's always been mature and ahead of the class. Don't rush their babyhood!

[Firebird]

Oh, I'm in no rush for the sake of being in a rush. I've said all along that if it were more appropriate for Babybird to start a year from September, that's exactly what I'd want to do.

Until now, we were pretty consistently hearing variations of "She's mentally/ physically/ emotionally ready for kindergarten, you could have her start next week" and given that, I found it frustrating that she would have to wait a whole year longer just because of her birthday.

I'm glad it worked out this way, although six months from now she could easily have the meltdown thing under control. Still, the extra practice won't hurt. And I don't see her ever being a big fan of sharing.

[Lizard Queen]

I'm in the same boat with my early October birthday 4 yo. He's very ready intellectually, emotionally maybe not so much. My older son has an end of February birthday, and is one of the youngest in his class, so I guess it's good that DS2 has to wait, otherwise he could be 2 years younger than some of his classmates.

[Deleted]

With a November b-day, I was almost a year "late" starting but that was more than offset by something popular way back in the day-promotion on academic achievement.  Unfortunately that set up a scenario where I was about 18 months biologically younger than my class peers and probably 24-36 months emotionally less mature.  Not a good thing. I matured physically long before my classmates which creates a world of problems including bullying which emotional immaturity is not prepared to handle.  It's different for every child.  Perhaps I would have been and would now be a happier individual had I had some commonality with my classmates. But a parent who felt the need to demonstrate her freedom from societal norms and expectations through me would never have accepted that outcome so it's 6 of 1 and 1/2 dozen of another at this point.  I think a child growing up with total belief in his or her parents love and support will surmount any fluctuations of the educational experience.  

[Pants]

B is going to Kindergarten next year. K is talking up a storm. B was sick this year - 2 months in the hospital sick - so as you can imagine that colored a whole lot of our year. She's better now though.

ETA: I just remembered that the last thread you started I was reading in the hospital waiting room while B got her MRI - the day she was admitted and diagnosed. Yikes. Ugh, sorry. I still get emotional grenades lobbed at me out of nowhere from that time period.

[travelnut11]

Good to "see" you Firebird! Did you guys ever make a decision on Baby #2?

[Firebird]

Feb 10, 2017 9:18:10 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

Good to "see" you Firebird! Did you guys ever make a decision on Baby #2?

We did, yes!

[MJ2.0]

Feb 9, 2017 11:34:26 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I'm in the same boat with my early October birthday 4 yo. He's very ready intellectually, emotionally maybe not so much. My older son has an end of February birthday, and is one of the youngest in his class, so I guess it's good that DS2 has to wait, otherwise he could be 2 years younger than some of his classmates.

this is what's playing out for DS right now in Kindergarten. He had a July birthday, so he had just turned 5 when school started. Not surprisingly, he is likely not mature enough for grade school yet. He is also believed to have ADHD, so that's not helping either. Academically he is closer to 1st grade level, so holding him back would be pointless. we (me, X, teacher, learning specialists, therapist) are all working to find solutions for him to limit the outbursts and restlessness so that he can be happy and succeed in the classroom.

[Pants]

Feb 10, 2017 11:40:48 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Feb 10, 2017 9:18:10 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

Good to "see" you Firebird! Did you guys ever make a decision on Baby #2?

We did, yes!

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