gift expectations

[Deleted]

Do you expect to receive gifts for Christmas, birthday, or other special days? What happens if you don't receive anything?

Do you have to buy a gift for anyone so they don't get mad?

Happy Holidays! hahaha

[Deleted]

I guess you could say I expect my parents to get me something for Christmas, just because they always have, (probably birthdays too, but they may have missed some).  But, I wouldn't be upset if they didn't.  My Mom was asking me the other day what I wanted and I told her nothing since they basically gave me a $600 generator for free this Summer when they upgraded their MH one.  I'm sure she still will though. 

As for having to buy for other people, the only "must gets" on my list are my kids.  The 6 year old would be sad if Santa didn't show and how would I explain Santa bringing something for him and not his 14 year old brother?    I don't really buy for anyone else anymore except token gifts for the parents and small toys for older son's siblings that are 2 and 4.  Back in the day I bought for EVERYONE, but I'm so over that.  One year I just quit and it's a lot less stressful.

[naughtybear]

No and no. I don't expect anything from anyone.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nobody I have to buy gifts for that would get mad about it except the kids.   I have a little family so it's not a huge deal to buy for "everyone" and I like doing it.  I got six people on my list if you exclude DH and the kids.  I try to spend around $20-$30 on each person, often I come in at much less.

We do not do that for DH's family thank God.  Even if I spent only $20 per person I'd end up spending a small fortune.  Just his immediate family alone is HUGE.

I've been getting an ornament from my mother every year since I was born due to my birthday being in December.  I'd be really disappointed if I didn't get one.   Other than that I wouldn't care very much.

Sometimes I wish DH would not buy me anything.  He is one of those people who buys what HE thinks someone should like rather than what the person actually wants.   It gets tiresome because I end up with all this crap I don't use and either gets hidden, lost or donated but have to be ecstatic over when I recieve it.

I've been trying for years to get him to spend the money on something I want and would use but it's been 12 years now, he ain't changing.

I want a set of ceramic knives from Sam's Club for Christmas.  I have a co-worker who bought a set and is raving about them.  I need new knives and love to cook so this is perfect.   Taking bets on whether or not that's what I'll actually get or if it will be another $75 stinky Dead Sea Mineral manicure kit.  Or he's going to go overboard and spend $200 on the knives AND a bunch of random kitchen crap I will never use.

[Anne_in_VA]

I don't really expect to get gifts, but DSD will talk about what she got her mom but didn't give DH or I anything.  Really pissed for him, although I don't think he pays that much attention.  She recently told me she's going to spend about $300 on a gift for her mom for Christmas.  She never gives DH or I anything for b-day or any other occasion.  

[Apple]

I don't expect to get anything from anyone.  However, I'll likely get a Hallmark ornament from my mom (she had done a babysitting job since before I was born just so she could use that money for the ornaments-- she buys one for all of us).  I wouldn't mind more knitted socks either (she knows that, so I get them year round, just whenever she finishes a pair every now and then).

My son might get upset if I didn't get him anything, but he doesn't ask for much anyway.  This year all he's asked for is some really nice chocolate (like what we could find in Europe).  Hoping I can find some!

ETA: other times-- don't expect anything for birthdays, and since there is no SO, no anniversary, and I can't think of anything else that would qualify as a "special day".

[zibazinski]

I give up. Easier to not be disappointed that way.

[taz157]

My DD (5 YO) expects gifts for her birthday and Christmas, which we definitely do.   DH and I were talking last night and we/Santa are about done, except for some stocking stuffers.  With my 4 YO niece and 6 mo niece, we'll give them $25 each for what I'm sure SIL will buy more "stuff".  According to my brother, they already have enough "stuff" to stuff a toy store and then some...

With my DH's nieces and nephews, we haven't done anything for them in years.  We never see them at Christmas (even before we moved away for 10 years), and his siblings may do something for our DD (their niece).

With my mom, we've had a $10 limit (we tend to go slightly over to about $15-20) for me and DH.  My mom buys what she wants for DD, and I doubt she has a limit for her.  It just the adults that have a limit and that's perfectly fine with DH and I.

With my dad, we tend to do more.  This year, my dad is asking for a garage door opener along with the help installing said garage door opener.  DH and I have already agreed to it, and DH agreed to help with the installation portion.

With DH's parents, his mom always gets a lighthouse calendar from DH (now I'm the one on the lookout for it).  For his dad, he's very hard to shop for and usually doesn't want anything.  His parents have helped us alot this year so DH and I have talked about getting his mom a new computer.  She has a computer that's at least 10 years old and she still uses dial up.    She mentioned recently she wants a new one and I've already spoken to her about getting cable internet instead of dial-up.  We'll see what happens.

With birthdays, the only birthdays that have gifts are the little kids on my side while the adults get a card, but my dad will still give my brother and I $100 when it's our birthday.  We don't do anything, except a card if I remember, for DH's side for the little kids (DH has 10 nieces and nephews, then there's 10 or so kids to those nieces and nephews).  For his siblings, I'm not the greatest at remembering lately.  His parents, we send cards.

With me, I don't expect much. DH already knows I want at least a card for my birthday and anniversary. Other than that, I'm pretty flexible.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I don't expect much, so am pleasantly surprised when I do receive something.

Last summer for my birthday, TD managed to score us a very difficult to score reservation at The Willows on Lummi Island.  I've been wanting to go there for years.  He told me about 3 hours before we needed to be on the ferry!  

For Christmas this year, I know what TD wants - a new camera lens that he won't buy for himself - so I'll get it for him.  

[naughtybear]

Rhubarb cider and wild berries

Raw chanterelles with dried smelts

Toasted kale leaves

Steelhead roe

Doughnuts of smoked black cod

Ripe plums

Fish and shellfish

Cold soup of grilled flowers

Rockfish wrapped in burnt kelp

A fresh tostada

Crab soaked in pine nut milk

Grilled squids

Ronde de nice squash

Smoked mussels and sunflower roots

Smoked sockeye salmon

Aged wild venison leg

bread from heirloom wheat with pan drippings

King salmon steamed with tomatoes and lovage

A digestive tea from toasted birch branches

Macerated blackberries

Anise hyssop and lavender

Pumpkin seed fudge and cordial

Please note that the menu is subject to change.

What a beautiful experience and my kind of night but some of these items ...

[gooddecisions]

I'm on the fence on this one. My kids are little, they will have the Santa experience. Because I think there is some value in teaching kids how to give, I will take them shopping and buy whatever they pick out for their dad, grandparents, teachers and each other.

Because I don't want to become that mom who never has anything to open on Christmas, I will tell my husband that he needs to take them to get something for me- and I will give him some ideas for token gifts that I need/want. But, really I would be fine if it was just about the kids at Christmas.

I gave up on giving anything to my parents for Christmas a long time ago. They have everything they need and buy whatever they want all year long. They've told me repeatedly over the years to stop buying them anything.

[cronewitch]

I give Amazon gift card to great niece she may expect it now. I have been giving her brother cash, might stop. ISO will get Crock-Pot and pork shoulder, recipe for pulled pork. I have been asking people to not get me anything and a few years gotten nothing. ISO wants to get me camera security system so I can see my house from his house, I said no, so now he wants to have my truck repaired.

[Deleted]

Dec 1, 2016 14:34:37 GMT -5 naughtybear said:

Rhubarb cider and wild berries

Raw chanterelles with dried smelts

Toasted kale leaves

Steelhead roe

Doughnuts of smoked black cod

Ripe plums

Fish and shellfish

Cold soup of grilled flowers

Rockfish wrapped in burnt kelp

A fresh tostada

Crab soaked in pine nut milk

Grilled squids

Ronde de nice squash

Smoked mussels and sunflower roots

Smoked sockeye salmon

Aged wild venison leg

bread from heirloom wheat with pan drippings

King salmon steamed with tomatoes and lovage

A digestive tea from toasted birch branches

Macerated blackberries

Anise hyssop and lavender

Pumpkin seed fudge and cordial

Please note that the menu is subject to change.

What a beautiful experience and my kind of night but some of these items ...

Your Christmas wish list?

[naughtybear]

That was the menu from The Willows. I guess when I copied and pasted the name didn't show up..LOL can you imagine giving someone this as  your list.

[Tiny]

I honestly don't expect anything and would rather I didn't get gifts for holidays/special occasions.   

I find it all very stressful and not particularly pleasant/fun - no matter which side of the 'gift' I'm on.   

it's kind of like drinking/getting tipsy - that's also very unpleasant...

I just don't fit in. 

[MJ2.0]

I haven't had a birthday gift since the split...maybe even since before then. I'd rather do something fun for my birthday than get a gift. Last year my friend treated me to dinner and games at Dave and Buster's. This Sunday we are supposed to go to NYC see the tree at 30 Rock and peruse around the city. I am also supposed to have a spa day with some girlfriends but they are being dumb and not responding or getting organized.

Christmas I only now get gifts from my mother and aunts - usually gift cards to places I go to. This year I'm asking for Aldi and Wal-Mart gift cards, lol. I make scented moisturizers and sometimes cookies or spiced nuts to give as gifts.

[quince]

I have no expectations, and only my dad gets sad if he doesn't get a gift. He doesn't need a lot of money spent, but he gets all hurt and sad and feels unloved if we miss his birthday/fathers day/Christmas.    My oldest son JUST realized what presents are, so he likes them but no expectations.

My parents enjoy gift-giving at Christmas, so my husband and I are doing our best to give suggestions- we have plenty already, and anything that we TRULY want we get for ourselves. We're not really in stuff-acquisition mode.  We don't get gifts for each other.  We get my parents gifts for Christmas - they host Christmas, which means we get a nice meal and don't have to be the ones to deal with the tree/decorations/whatnot for our our kids.  Best gift EVER.

[Tennesseer]

Dec 1, 2016 16:08:35 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I'm on the fence on this one. My kids are little, they will have the Santa experience. Because I think there is some value in teaching kids how to give, I will take them shopping and buy whatever they pick out for their dad, grandparents, teachers and each other.

Because I don't want to become that mom who never has anything to open on Christmas, I will tell my husband that he needs to take them to get something for me- and I will give him some ideas for token gifts that I need/want. But, really I would be fine if it was just about the kids at Christmas.

I gave up on giving anything to my parents for Christmas a long time ago. They have everything they need and buy whatever they want all year long. They've told me repeatedly over the years to stop buying them anything.

You mention your kids are little. Have you seen the app, Instant Santa? You can upload a picture of your Christmas tree and its familiar (to the kids' surroundings) and then add a picture of Santa to the picture. Christmas morning, you can show the picture of Santa putting gifts under or by the tree and Santa was in your home.

I am using my tablet at this moment so I cannot add a link to their website or to Google Store where you can download it (for free I believe).

[gooddecisions]

Dec 1, 2016 20:15:38 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Dec 1, 2016 16:08:35 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I'm on the fence on this one. My kids are little, they will have the Santa experience. Because I think there is some value in teaching kids how to give, I will take them shopping and buy whatever they pick out for their dad, grandparents, teachers and each other.

Because I don't want to become that mom who never has anything to open on Christmas, I will tell my husband that he needs to take them to get something for me- and I will give him some ideas for token gifts that I need/want. But, really I would be fine if it was just about the kids at Christmas.

I gave up on giving anything to my parents for Christmas a long time ago. They have everything they need and buy whatever they want all year long. They've told me repeatedly over the years to stop buying them anything.

You mention your kids are little. Have you seen the app, Instant Santa? You can upload a picture of your Christmas tree and its familiar (to the kids' surroundings) and then add a picture of Santa to the picture. Christmas morning, you can show the picture of Santa putting gifts under or by the tree and Santa was in your home.

I am using my tablet at this moment so I cannot add a link to their website or to Google Store where you can download it (for free I believe).

No I haven't heard of that, thanks for the tip. I will definitely check it out!

[Tennesseer]

gooddecisions -there is another app called Catch Santa In My House. I think that is the app I saw on Facebook yesterday because the sample pictures look familiar.

[gooddecisions]

I found it, can't wait to give it a try, but first I need a tree... and some presents... and it to be after 10pm on Christmas eve!

[Tennesseer]

Dec 1, 2016 20:32:36 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I found it, can't wait to give it a try, but first I need a tree... and some presents... and it to be after 10pm on Christmas eve!

Once you have everyting in place, a decorated tree, presents wrapped but hidden, and before 10 pp.m., tell the kids you have set a camera up in the room to take pictures when motion is detected in the room.  Put the camera out and facing the tree (for example).  

In the morning, and with the kids maybe present, pretend to hook up the camera to the computer to either view the picture on the computer screen or to maybe have a printer (if you have one) print out the picture without seeing what photo is in the camera first.

[gooddecisions]

Dec 2, 2016 9:57:00 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Dec 1, 2016 20:32:36 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I found it, can't wait to give it a try, but first I need a tree... and some presents... and it to be after 10pm on Christmas eve!

Once you have everyting in place, a decorated tree, presents wrapped but hidden, and before 10 pp.m., tell the kids you have set a camera up in the room to take pictures when motion is detected in the room.  Put the camera out and facing the tree (for example).  

In the morning, and with the kids maybe present, pretend to hook up the camera to the computer to either view the picture on the computer screen or to maybe have a printer (if you have one) print out the picture without seeing what photo is in the camera first.

Such a great idea, I'm definitely doing it! Hopefully one of these apps works right on my phone!

[Deleted]

I made the Santa really tiny and superimposed him on a picture of the cats stalking him. Bad idea?

[spartyparty]

I hate gifts that I can't use...I don't need more stuff, I have enough crap!  So, because of that, I hate giving unless I think of the perfect gift.

[TheOtherMe]

My sister, BIL and her four adult children and I agreed to stop exchanging gifts a few years ago.

I still buy dad his gift card to Dairy Queen and he gives me the same amount in cash, so it's like a trade.

I give my niece money to buy gifts for her two kids. 

That is my gift list.  It will only grow if and when I get more great nephews and nieces.

I got tired of being disappointed and put an end to it.

[gooddecisions]

Dec 1, 2016 20:28:15 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

gooddecisions -there is another app called Catch Santa In My House. I think that is the app I saw on Facebook yesterday because the sample pictures look familiar.

I used this app and it turned out pretty realistic looking. The girls are going to be so excited to see the photo in the morning! Thanks again for the idea!

[dee27]

DH and I do not exchange gifts, but we do give each other cards. However, DH usually buys me flowers for my BD and our anniversary. We do buy Christmas gifts for the kids.

[zibazinski]

I give and receive. It's fun. It's not the same now that DH is gone but last year was so awful that Christmas threw up at my house this year. No regrets.

[zibazinski]

Everyone including DH's cranky cat enjoyed Christmas. He got a cat tree so now he can chirp at birds and squirrels up close and personal. DD had to show him what to do but after she did, he made it his own. Anyone who is on FB with me can see him on it. 😸