Stress Leave from Work = Kiss of Death?

[cytoglycerine]

Good Morning, All!!


I have a very dear girlfriend who is in a pickle of a jam at work. In a nutshell, she hates it, feels completely taken advantage of and unappreciated, and even after several serious heart-to-heart talks with her boss, has gotten nowhere and there has been no improvement. She has tried unsuccessfully for months to find a new job, and with recent happenings at work making things worse for her, she is starting to really feel the stress. Today she even made the comment of perhaps needing to take a "stress leave" if things don't get better soon.


That got me thinking - Is taking a stress leave from work the proverbial "Kiss of Death" for your career? Please note that I'm not talking about taking a leave because of something that happened in your personal life, and now you need a breather because of it...I'm talking about taking a breather from your job because your job ALONE is stressing you out. I've personally only ever witnessed one colleague take a stress leave in my working career so far - She went out on her leave, was "replaced" by a "temp" almost immediately, and then her first day back on the job, the boss was waiting for her at the front door, and she was immediately fired. Sure, she got severance pay, but only the bare minimum, and of course, had to find a new job.


What do you guys think? Is it a career killer? Have you ever taken a work-related stress leave, or had colleagues who did? What happened when you (or they) came back to work? Did it turn out to be a positive experience?


ETA - Additional info about my friend - She is an admin assistant, has been in her position for 4 years, and she is in her mid-20s.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Not enough info in the post to make any sort of useful reply.

What type of work does this person do and how old is she?

[workpublic]

air traffic controller?

[cytoglycerine]

Mar 21, 2011 10:37:05 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Not enough info in the post to make any sort of useful reply.

What type of work does this person do and how old is she?

I was really looking for general stories/opinions, not necessarily for her situation in specific - Her situation is just what got me thinking about the topic...But I edited my OP to include this info nonetheless.

[Nazgul Girl]

I think it depends on the reason for the "stress leave". If someone has lost a spouse or a child, then, yes, a stress leave might be warranted, and shouldn't be looked askance at, in my opinion. In the tough-as-nails corporate world, who knows ? On the other hand, if someone is just a bad fit in their job, then the stress leave is probably not warranted.

[The J]

Depends on the job, but for the most part I would say it's the kiss of death for that job. The long term effects on the career can be severe.

In this specific case, I'd say your friend needs to figure things out, because needing stress leave after four years of working as an AA sounds problematic.

[raeoflyte]

Does her job need to know why she is taking the leave?

If her doctor says she needs 30 days off for medical leave, I would leave it as that. I didn't think that the doctor would have to say what the medical leave is for, but I could be wrong.

If she makes it a point that she is taking time off because work is so awful then I do think its the kiss of death.

My FIL did this and when he came back they had moved him from HR to a less stressful data entry job. His pride was hurt so he 'didn't accept their offer' and hasn't worked since.

[Deleted]

As an Admin yes, unless she's in a situation where she's being sexually harrassed or being asked to do something illegal.

If she's not happy she needs to find another job. I know it's not easy but it's a lot easier to get an admin job than a lot of other jobs.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

I was really looking for general stories/opinions, not necessarily for her situation in specific - Her situation is just what got me thinking about the topic...But I edited my OP to include this info nonetheless

What type of work this person does is relative. If she is the Director of National Sales, or she oversees 50 stock brokers, it is likely she is in a high pressure, fast paced environment. I would agree about the stress.
If she just cannot deal with life in general and is inflexible, then that is a different story.
I have a friend who works at a national insurance company's local office which is quite large. She does clerical/administrative work, including data entry and maint of their project tracking database.
A low stress, simple job, yet, most days she is ready to go off the deep end.

[Deleted]

As an Admin yes, unless she's in a situation where she's being sexually harrassed or being asked to do something illegal.

If she's not happy she needs to find another job. I know it's not easy but it's a lot easier to get an admin job than a lot of other jobs.

[cytoglycerine]

Mar 21, 2011 10:45:11 GMT -5 The J said:

In this specific case, I'd say your friend needs to figure things out, because needing stress leave after four years of working as an AA sounds problematic.

Yeah...That was kinda my feeling about the situation, too. But to be fair, from what she tells me, it sounds like it's more the environment that she works in that is stressing her out, rather than the actual work itself. If even half of what she tells me is true, I wouldn't want to work at her company either. But I don't know that I'd be itching for a stress leave because of it.....

[The J]

Mar 21, 2011 10:49:33 GMT -5 @cytoglycerine said:

Mar 21, 2011 10:45:11 GMT -5 The J said:

In this specific case, I'd say your friend needs to figure things out, because needing stress leave after four years of working as an AA sounds problematic.

Yeah...That was kinda my feeling about the situation, too. But to be fair, from what she tells me, it sounds like it's more the environment that she works in that is stressing her out, rather than the actual work itself. If even half of what she tells me is true, I wouldn't want to work at her company either. But I don't know that I'd be itching for a stress leave because of it.....

She shouldn't be taking a stress leave. She should be looking for another job.

[cytoglycerine]

Mar 21, 2011 10:51:05 GMT -5 The J said:

Mar 21, 2011 10:49:33 GMT -5 @cytoglycerine said:

Yeah...That was kinda my feeling about the situation, too. But to be fair, from what she tells me, it sounds like it's more the environment that she works in that is stressing her out, rather than the actual work itself. If even half of what she tells me is true, I wouldn't want to work at her company either. But I don't know that I'd be itching for a stress leave because of it.....

She shouldn't be taking a stress leave. She should be looking for another job.

Agreed...Although she has been looking for another job for a long time. Admittedly, I don't know how much real effort she's put into the job search, but I think her being unable to just "find another job" at the drop of a hat is also contributing to her unhappiness.

[The J]

Mar 21, 2011 11:01:14 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

That can be a tough cycle to get stuck in... miserable at your current job and can't find a new job. The current job sucks the life from your soul and robs you of energy to look for a new one.

Been there... luckily got out of it. In the meantime, my advice to her would be to develop an apathetic stance toward her current workplace. Sometimes that helps

Maybe it's just me, but when I was in a job I hated, it really inspired me to find a new job.

[phil5185]

I've personally only ever witnessed one colleague take a stress leave in my working career so far - She went out on her leave, was "replaced" by a "temp" almost immediately, and then her first day back on the job, the boss was waiting for her at the front door, and she was immediately fired.

That is what I would have done. The 'immediate temp' is a given, if the job was necessary, you have to hire an immediate replacement. (And if it was unnecessary, why would you take her back?)

The employee needed to determine why s/he was outside of the norm - ie, why were the other workers thriving and s/he wasn't? Mismatch of skills? Ideology? (may not believe in the product - whiskey factories, bible factory, cigarette factories, weapons factories, pesticide makers, porn magazine publisher, yada). Work ethic?

If multiple meetings with the manager were nonproductive, that means that the manager is unwilling to make special provisions for the complainer (often the case, one disgruntled employee leads to morale issues thruout).

[Wisconsin Beth]

I never considered going on 'stress leave' even when my job gave me an ulcer. It didn't occur to me and the only way I'd have done it would have been via FMLA/daily therapy type deal.

What I DID do was eventually realize that all my whining about my job wasn't going to change anything and I needed a different job. So I went back to school while continuing to work that job and eventually was promoted/transferred to a different job within the same company.

[zibazinski]

That is the way to handle it. She needs to get some different skills that ARE hiring and perhaps get some meds to help her through this time period. Perhaps if she got serious about a new job, even perhaps using a headhunter, then she will find a job. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.

[cytoglycerine]

Man, I gotta stop giving specific examples with my topics! Most people don't post their own experiences when I do, they just focus on the one example I gave and then talk about how to fix that specific incident, rather than talk about the topic in general lol...


Sometimes, I'm just farming for stories from yall! Not always looking for concrete answers to a specific person's problem - just entertainment! Life at home is BORING

[sil]

I completely agree that stress leave is a job-killer, but why would stress leave be a "kiss of death" for a career? How would any other employer even know you took a leave of absence in your prior position?

What I'd be more concerned about, is that if she takes a stress-leave at such an early point in her career, this may be the start of a bad habit. If she's having a rough patch at her next job, is she going to try the same escape strategy?

[zibazinski]

The last 3 years I taught school, it was the job from hell thanks to a bad dept head and 2 lousy co-workers. Add to the mix an inept principal who spent most of her time wringing her hands and whining. I kept my eyes on the prize, retirement with never having to work a job from hell again, and stuck it out. Yes, I hated every minute of the job and now the dept head is gone as well as the lousy principal so the job is probably better. The 2 lousy co-workers are still there but maybe they became lousy because of the atmosphere.

[The J]

Mar 21, 2011 11:36:47 GMT -5 sil said:

I completely agree that stress leave is a job-killer, but why would stress leave be a "kiss of death" for a career? How would any other employer even know you took a leave of absence in your prior position?

What I'd be more concerned about, is that if she takes a stress-leave at such an early point in her career, this may be the start of a bad habit. If she's having a rough patch at her next job, is she going to try the same escape strategy?

It's if you got fired as a result of taking the loa where it can be problematic.

[Deleted]

We have a girl here that is trying to set herself up that way but she is going to have fun claiming her job is causing the stress. And just heading that way has killed her here. She will never get promoted and raises are going to be rare in her future. She has also burned any networking opportunities she had through here. People gossip. It's a fact of life. Word spreads farther than you realise. You can only get away with things like that if you are incredibly strong in another area. She's not.

[cytoglycerine]

Mar 21, 2011 11:43:47 GMT -5 The J said:

Mar 21, 2011 11:36:47 GMT -5 sil said:

I completely agree that stress leave is a job-killer, but why would stress leave be a "kiss of death" for a career? How would any other employer even know you took a leave of absence in your prior position?

What I'd be more concerned about, is that if she takes a stress-leave at such an early point in her career, this may be the start of a bad habit. If she's having a rough patch at her next job, is she going to try the same escape strategy?

It's if you got fired as a result of taking the loa where it can be problematic.

That's what I'm saying...When the new prospective employer asks the inevitable question of "Why did you leave your last position?", what are you going to say? Wouldn't you have to be truthful and say you were let go at the conclusion of a leave of absence? Even if you don't have to say why you took the leave in the first place, I don't think it makes you look good to the new employer.

[michelyn8]

I can tell from reading the responses that few, if any of ya'll have worked as an admin. It can be a very stressful job depending on the workload and support from management. In my 20+ years in admin support, I worked in jobs where my efforts and skills were appreciated and despite the heavy workload, thrived because of that support. I've also worked in environments where my work was expected to be above reproach and on deadline but received no support from management when I wasn't receiving vital information from co-workers on time or without errors. Those positions (especially my previous one) were extremely stressful even though I only had a few tasks that were high priority. I knew my last job wasn't for me within a month but because the economy took a dive around that time, it took over 3 years to find a new job that paid well and was also what I wanted to be doing.

As for admin jobs being easier to find - no they're not. Many of them are being eliminated because managers can do those basic tasks themselves or are low paying because there are so many job seekers from other fields looking to them for a foot in the door at a company that college degrees are now expected when filling a front desk receptionist job.

My advice to your friend is to use accrued vacation/personal time to take breathers when things get to be to much. She also needs to ramp up her search and possibly change her skill set. You don't say what type of admin she is, but if she doesn't know basic bookkeeping, she should learn those skills. Also, if she's only worked with the software her company uses, she needs to expand her knowledge as much as she can there too.

In the meantime, she needs to learn to keep her mouth shut and just "smile and look pretty" (which unfortunately is what some still expect from all admin). She should do only what she is asked to do and stop looking for more work or advancement with this company since it apparently isn't going to come her way. Once she accepts that, some of her stress will subside. It is also entirely possibly she just isn't cut out for the admin field (its truly not something just anyone can do). She may want to explore moving into a job more she's more suited for even if it means an initial cut in pay.

ETA: sorry for all the typos............I really am good at my job, just really dragging today and not very clear headed

[sil]

I guess I thought it was illegal to fire someone directly because of the LOA? Perhaps I have that wrong, or perhaps that's just another crazy CA law.

I figured they had to give some bogus reason in order to fire someone at the end of a LOA, and furthermore, it would be illegal for HR to disclose the LOA. So if it were me, I'd just tell the prospective employer the bogus reason for fire/lay-off.

[hoops902]

"It can be a very stressful job depending on the workload and support from management."

Can't the same be said for everyjob, everywhere?

[michelyn8]

Mar 21, 2011 12:25:04 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

"It can be a very stressful job depending on the workload and support from management."

Can't the same be said for everyjob, everywhere?

True and with so willing to make a decision anymore, it kills me when companies wonder why they can't find/keep the good employees.

[cytoglycerine]

Mar 21, 2011 12:21:59 GMT -5 sil said:

I guess I thought it was illegal to fire someone directly because of the LOA? Perhaps I have that wrong, or perhaps that's just another crazy CA law.

I figured they had to give some bogus reason in order to fire someone at the end of a LOA, and furthermore, it would be illegal for HR to disclose the LOA. So if it were me, I'd just tell the prospective employer the bogus reason for fire/lay-off.

I don't know anything about US labour laws (I'm Canadian), but in my province, you can be let go at any time for any reason (except when you're on a "protected" leave - like medical leave, maternity leave, etc)...The only "if" is whether or not the employer has to pay you any kind of severance, which of course depends on the individual situation. But, there doesn't have to be a defendable reason for letting someone go - it could be because you just don't like the way they lick stamps. But if you let someone go for a frivolous reason, you gotta pay.

[sil]

My company is so demanding about the documentation of performance issues and warnings that it's really difficult to fire anyone. Instead, we tend to utilize lay-offs to cut the dead weight. So if you took a LOA at my company and they wanted to fire you, you would more than likely return from the LOA, then receive notice of a pending layoff, then you'd get severance payments and collect unemployment. And our HR would never tell any future prospective employer about the LOA.

[The J]

Mar 21, 2011 12:14:30 GMT -5 michelyn8 said:

I can tell from reading the responses that few, if any of ya'll have worked as an admin. It can be a very stressful job depending on the workload and support from management.

It's not whether or not the job is difficult/stressful. It's about the perception. The perception is that an admin's job is pretty low on the stress totem pole. Most people who do hiring will view an admin needing a stress-based LOA as significantly different than a senior-level executive needing one.