A moral question.

[naggie72]

There is a woman I know that has had past troubles with meth or crack, I can't remember which though. She had her children taken away before and I think it was 7 years ago. She has two boys 15 and 12 and then a five year old girl that she doesn't know if she is her former husbands child or the former husbands brother. She got pregnant while doing her drugs so is not sure as she was out of her head most of the time. She now has a pretty bad pill habit but the other day couldn't get pills so she got crack. I am pretty sure she is going to go back to being a crack hound. My question is, she has put these boys through so much and now may do it again, what should or could I do.

[naggie72]

What do you mean MU?

[rick]

Report her, if she used to be on crack and started again, its not a one time thing

[swamp]

There is nothing you can do for her. You can't save the world.

[naggie72]

I know I just hate the thought of those kids going through it again, I don't think I want to save the world just people I know.

[The J]

If you know she's doing something, you can always file a report with social services.

[naggie72]

Really??? I don't have many people to pose this question too so I thought I would ask here. I read a thread about someone seeing the same 6 people posting but it stated there were 14 people on line, so she joked about those lurking to post something. I thought that was why this board was here to post stuff, silly or otherwise.

I hope people don't make fun of me for asking a question. This woman is real. I don't know her well now but spent a year in a technical training program with her.

[Empire the P.A.]

Dec 27, 2010 20:18:27 GMT -5 The J said:

If you know she's doing something, you can always file a report with social services.

Just as J stated, those kids already have someone from social services assigned to them to watch out for their welfare. If you make the call they have to follow up and make sure the kids are safe.

[naggie72]

oh man, I do have a deep love for those who are hurting. I have never been in this place before where I would need to do that. How do I approach it, I don't want to stick my nose in but knowing the kids have been through it before (I didn't know her then) it just seems to be bearing on my mind.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Since you said you're not close to this person, about the ONLY involvement you should have is to make the call to the proper agency, as someone suggested above. Beyond that, MYOB. You can't expect to be able to 'fix' her. She has to first recognize that she's got a problem and be willing to accept any help or treatment. That is a lot harder than it sounds. Most addicts, whether its drugs or booze, don't see the reality of their situation as clearly as those on the outside. The best person to intervene would be someone in a professional capacity who's trained in these cases.

[naggie72]

Apart from calling social services what an earth do you think I was going to do, that was essentially my question with a bit of background info. I guess I did not clarify that in my question.

So my question is, would any of you call social services?

I don't want to "fix" her, I know about addiction. I am just worried about the kids.

[swamp]

"My question is, she has put these boys through so much and now may do it again, what should or could I do."

That's a pretty open ended question you posed there............You're right, you didn't clarify it. And yes, I would call Social Services.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

If you feel the situation is dangerous for the children, then once a call is made, they can then investigate to see if the children are being properly cared for or in any danger. They WILL do what's necessary to protect them and probably get her into some kind of treatment at the same time. I worked for a while with an agency that dealt with situations like this, among other kinds. Just something for you to think about.

[The J]

If I thought there was a danger, I'd call.

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2010 21:44:24 GMT -5 The J said:

She has two boys 15 and 12 and then a five year old girl

She now has a pretty bad pill habit but the other day couldn't get pills so she got crack.

I would report her to Social Services.

[rick]

If I thought there was a danger, I'd call



They are, she is a doper so make the call

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Call children's services. That's what they're there for.

[suzwantstobefree]

naggie, it sounds like you have a really tender heart and want to help people. However, I would call social services, tell them what you know, and then let them handle it from there. They may or may not do anything but you will know you did all that you could.

My niece is 18 and has two kids. She doesn't take care of them at all and I reported her to social services after I tried everything I could think of to help her. They investigated and the kids are in the same condition they were before, but at least my nieces problem is not drugs. I pray every day that she doesn't do anything to harm her boys but really I have come to the conclusion I have to let it go and let God take care of them.

[naggie72]

Thanks all.

[Deleted]

Call social services. I did on my own brother and his crack whore girlfriend.

Nothing was really done, but at least the two aren't together anymore. They will never get clean together.

[naggie72]

Thanks Angel, I feel better knowing that someone has done it before.

[breezy]

I would report her to child protective services.

[Jake 48]

report her to child services, it will get the kids out of there

[la808]

Dec 27, 2010 20:13:05 GMT -5 swamp said:

There is nothing you can do for her. You can't save the world.

Maybe not the world, but hopefully the kids.
Turn her in, Naggie. Kids come first.

ETA. Wow, I actually figured out how to do a quote. I'm not as stupid as I know I am. ;D

[naggie72]

I do not know her family. I haven't seen her in a year, we were pretty close while in school but that was it. A friend of both of us was the one that told me that she got ripped of and gave someone money for pills and didn't have them so gave her crack instead.

[dmsm]

You must realize addiction is a disease and must be treated as such. Also enabling does not help either. i hope she gets her life back. I have known many that do. BTW turning to the legal profession like the courts for help will back fire.

[naggie72]

I don't enable her, I don't even speak to her, this info is from a third party.

[Deleted]

Dec 29, 2010 18:10:58 GMT -5 Queen of Interesting Nuts said:

I don't enable her, I don't even speak to her, this info is from a third party.

So then how do you know it is the truth. Sounds like to me there are a bunch of busybodies gossiping about others.

If you only have 3rd party info, then I wouldn't call social services. I doubt they would even take you serious.

[deziloooooo]

"My question is, she has put these boys through so much and now may do it again, what should or could I do. "
For her, nothing , but if you have suspecians, call human services of your state, tell them your suspecians, let them check it out. She may be known to them, the kids may have been in their custody before.
If she is fine and your suspecians are incorrect, good but if they are correct, then you may have saved the kids from something they really don't need in their life. It's not as if they are losin anything...she may fel she is important in their lifes but if she is back on crack , the only thing important in her life is the crack.

[naggie72]

I don't know it is the truth. A friend of hers and mine told me, and it wasn't gossip at all. We were enjoying a beer on the patio and talking about a lot of things, like what to color to paint the LR and how her daughter was getting on in school. She was absolutely shocked that the friend could slide backward and said so to me.