Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 14, 2016 16:47:00 GMT -5
Well you all know what I went through when my mom died and some 80+ garbage bags that I threw out. The neighbors all helped me, cause we were only allowed to put out just 4 bags a week. They took all of it in one night, divided it up amongst themselves. The Catholic church came and took all her books and wool.
Those were good neighbors.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Aug 14, 2016 17:43:31 GMT -5
DH has way too much stuff and I've started tossing some of it when he's not around. I mean does he really need the shop manuals for the car he owned two vehicles ago? Or how about all the woodworking magazines from the 70's? I've already talked him into parting with his 1970's clothes (polyester anyone?). Polyester...pastel and/or paisley? Having flashbacks to my grandmother cutting up her old 70's finest to make blouses for me as a child. <shudder> Actually it was two sport coats, one maroon and one a funny blue. Really ugly too! I was telling his sister about how I had to drag him to buy a new sport coat a couple of years ago after I got rid of the old ones. She's the one who told me they were from the 70's and was laughing about it. Then last year a friend was getting rid of some clothes and he gave DH a beautiful black suit that cost over $800 (the price tag was still in the pocket). I don't think the guy ever wore it.
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 14, 2016 17:47:42 GMT -5
I feel like all my clutter just comsumes me. When I come home it's here and stresses me just looking at it. I feel like I could "live" my life if I wasn't always dealing with clutter. I am always moving it from one place to the other until I have time to deal with it all.
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 14, 2016 18:01:38 GMT -5
I felt positively awful with all the old furniture from my youth and mom. What mom had was given to her by my siblings and 23 years living over a hot laundromat done a real bad number on them. Plus I really didn't feel at peace with it all, it was mom's junk. There was also crappy emotional shit with all her stuff, so it had to all go.
Thank the Universe for a awesome nephew and his wonderful spouse and family.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 14, 2016 20:29:01 GMT -5
Hey, how's that fire going? Or did you decide to sing Kumbiya?
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Aug 14, 2016 22:34:27 GMT -5
Here's what I came up with several years ago. And I have a lot of kids.
Make sure you sit everyone down and warn them that you are on a mission to get the house clean. Start with one small area or space. Let's pick the dining table. State to the universe 'at noon today, I am going to clean the dining room table so if you want anything off it, it needs to be gone by then'. ..........And everyone will ignore you. At 12:15, clean the dining room table. Get a big black garbage bag and put EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING! Shoes, purses, etc.) in it that does not belong to you or 'the house (napkins, knives, dishes, the like). House items, put away. Your items, put away. All other items, put into the black bag. Now, hide the black bag and forget where you put it. Someone soon will need something from it. You don't remember where the bag is but they are free to look for it. The next day, re-clean the table and also do another spot near it. Rinse and repeat until people get tired of searching for their stuff.
You're married, so I would recommend mentioning this to your wife. With my H, I take a box, put just his stuff in it, and drop it next to his side of the bed or his recliner. He sorts it from there. Sometimes, his stuff goes into the black bag.
If no one looks for the black bag for a month or so, I take it to the thrift store. Paperwork I throw away. I KNOW I've tossed more than one pair of expensive shoes. But since I remembered buying the shoes and it wasn't my fault they got misplaced somewhere (should be in your room or on the shoe rack by the back door, right?), I didn't buy the teen another pair.
It was TOUGH! But it worked. My house is now clean other than the dog hair and I have a rhomba for that. Ok, its sort of clean but everyone's crap is put away and we only have day to day odds and ends around. I'm in the living room and I see; 1 hairbrush, 1 pair of shoes with socks, and a backpack. The shoes and socks are mine and will get taken upstairs tonight on my way to bed. The hairbrush and backpack belong to a very tired athlete who came home an hour ago and passed out from exhaustion. If they are still out when I get home tomorrow from work, I'll take them upstairs and toss them on her bed. Why? Because periodic forgetfulness doesn't drive me crazy, sloppiness does. And I forget to put stuff away too. So the kids toss it on 'my' table for me.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 15, 2016 8:15:45 GMT -5
DH has way too much stuff and I've started tossing some of it when he's not around. I mean does he really need the shop manuals for the car he owned two vehicles ago? Or how about all the woodworking magazines from the 70's? I've already talked him into parting with his 1970's clothes (polyester anyone?). I am putting in a laundry room, and my contractor asked me for the manual for the washing machine that I bought 2 years ago. I opened up the drawer where I keep all the manuals and within 5 seconds I pulled out the washing machine manual. Too bad it was for the old washer, that I got rid of 2 years ago. Never did find the manual for the new one. We looked up his question on-line. I also still have all the paperwork for the trampoline. Not the one we threw out 3 years ago and haven't replaced. The one before that.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 15, 2016 8:27:03 GMT -5
You guys have verified for me that I'm right in never getting married again. I am a neat freak. A serious one. I have nothing setting in the open - on my counters, tables, etc. If it doesn't have a place, it's gone. Every single piece of "keep" paper is put in a filing cabinet. I fully understand I would not have the time to be this obsessive if I had kids but since I don't? I am. There is no way in hell I could survive a cluttery spouse. I'd lose what's left of my mind.
Tractor: My only advice to you is to stop waiting for her to clean the house since it's low on her list of stuff to do. Do it yourself. Give your family 3 days notice to remove and put away everything that is important to them because if it's still there in 3 days, it goes. And then stick to it. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. Everyone's idea of sanctuary is different (mine is antiseptic - I think it may be a control issue!) but it's still supposed to be some place you can relax. If you can't, it needs fixing.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 15, 2016 8:42:32 GMT -5
You guys have verified for me that I'm right in never getting married again. I am a neat freak. A serious one. I have nothing setting in the open - on my counters, tables, etc. If it doesn't have a place, it's gone. Every single piece of "keep" paper is put in a filing cabinet. I fully understand I would not have the time to be this obsessive if I had kids but since I don't? I am. There is no way in hell I could survive a cluttery spouse. I'd lose what's left of my mind.
Tractor: My only advice to you is to stop waiting for her to clean the house since it's low on her list of stuff to do. Do it yourself. Give your family 3 days notice to remove and put away everything that is important to them because if it's still there in 3 days, it goes. And then stick to it. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. Everyone's idea of sanctuary is different (mine is antiseptic - I think it may be a control issue!) but it's still supposed to be some place you can relax. If you can't, it needs fixing. There's hope for you. I was married to your twin I can give you his number if you ever decide to try the M word again.
As for clutter I am almost the extreme opposite - My son once told me if it can't be replaced please don't throw it away. This came after I asked him about some old photo albums of my mothers. Some stuff went back to WWII. I was ready to toss them. I told him I would identify any of the pictures I could and then he had to come get the albums or in the dumpster they go. It was like 8 or 10 of the old fashioned photo albums. I didn't have a clue who most of the pictures were of but I did identify the pictures of his grandmother and pictures of me.
I think I missed the sentimental gene when it was handed out
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Aug 15, 2016 8:57:00 GMT -5
I'm ready to torch the entire house. I would let the kids, DH and dog out first. Then I would build a smaller house in the same location and seriously limit the amount of "stuff" that comes in the new house. That would be a glorious day.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 15, 2016 9:18:02 GMT -5
You guys have verified for me that I'm right in never getting married again. I am a neat freak. A serious one. I have nothing setting in the open - on my counters, tables, etc. If it doesn't have a place, it's gone. Every single piece of "keep" paper is put in a filing cabinet. I fully understand I would not have the time to be this obsessive if I had kids but since I don't? I am. There is no way in hell I could survive a cluttery spouse. I'd lose what's left of my mind.
Tractor: My only advice to you is to stop waiting for her to clean the house since it's low on her list of stuff to do. Do it yourself. Give your family 3 days notice to remove and put away everything that is important to them because if it's still there in 3 days, it goes. And then stick to it. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. Everyone's idea of sanctuary is different (mine is antiseptic - I think it may be a control issue!) but it's still supposed to be some place you can relax. If you can't, it needs fixing. There's hope for you. I was married to your twin I can give you his number if you ever decide to try the M word again.
As for clutter I am almost the extreme opposite - My son once told me if it can't be replaced please don't throw it away. This came after I asked him about some old photo albums of my mothers. Some stuff went back to WWII. I was ready to toss them. I told him I would identify any of the pictures I could and then he had to come get the albums or in the dumpster they go. It was like 8 or 10 of the old fashioned photo albums. I didn't have a clue who most of the pictures were of but I did identify the pictures of his grandmother and pictures of me.
I think I missed the sentimental gene when it was handed out
LOL!! Thanks for the offer, but if you didn't want him, I probably don't either! Still...another neat freak might be the ideal match for me - and maybe not!! Who knows?? What if I had a bigger freak and he was always on me to neaten up?
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 15, 2016 9:48:32 GMT -5
Have you ever been to the point where putting everything in your house on the front lawn and starting it on fire sounds like to only logical thing to do? I'm just about there... Did you see my post LOL. Yes, been there many times.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 15, 2016 9:54:06 GMT -5
DH has way too much stuff and I've started tossing some of it when he's not around. I mean does he really need the shop manuals for the car he owned two vehicles ago? Or how about all the woodworking magazines from the 70's? I've already talked him into parting with his 1970's clothes (polyester anyone?). LOL, I'm flashing back to early days with DH and the first thing I chucked was the green leisure suit he owned in H.S.
He was warned...
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Aug 15, 2016 10:07:17 GMT -5
Just knowing I'm not alone makes me feel a little better. This has been growing for a few years now. It's time to deal with it head on as it really stresses me out and I have a hard time relaxing at home. I will accept part of the blame, so I will start with my stuff first, maybe the others will catch on.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 15, 2016 13:16:25 GMT -5
Dad, is that you?! No, you have kids at home, never mind.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 15, 2016 16:56:50 GMT -5
Dad, is that you?!No, you have kids at home, never mind. I know. Huh? I thought maybe mine had come back from the great beyond, for a second!
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 15, 2016 17:20:34 GMT -5
I guess I should stop complaining about my wife and start appreciating her more!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 18:11:13 GMT -5
I have vowed to get a dumpster this Fall. I am fed up and don't care if the stuff gets rehomed where it can be used anymore. Mostly it's the shed. I've been filling the 55 gallon tote every week with hardware, old tools, construction materials, etc, but I'm getting to big stuff that doesn't fit. Maybe I can have my brother come over with his 70 pound sledge hammer and we'll make it fit.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 15, 2016 18:39:23 GMT -5
I have vowed to get a dumpster this Fall. I am fed up and don't care if the stuff gets rehomed where it can be used anymore. Mostly it's the shed. I've been filling the 55 gallon tote every week with hardware, old tools, construction materials, etc, but I'm getting to big stuff that doesn't fit. Maybe I can have my brother come over with his 70 pound sledge hammer and we'll make it fit. The stuff will fit then and you can work out your frustrations!! Win win.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 15, 2016 18:45:20 GMT -5
LOL!! Thanks for the offer, but if you didn't want him, I probably don't either! Still...another neat freak might be the ideal match for me - and maybe not!! Who knows?? What if I had a bigger freak and he was always on me to neaten up? I recall a story once (I think it was a short-story fiction) where two neat-freaks wanted to live with each other and ended up breaking up because all of the clothes in his closet had the front to the left, and all of hers had the the front to the right. They tried to problem solve by having separate closets, but apparently the discrepancy weighed on their relationship. This was before we threw around terms like "OCD." People were just "weird" back then.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 15, 2016 19:21:49 GMT -5
LOL!! Thanks for the offer, but if you didn't want him, I probably don't either! Still...another neat freak might be the ideal match for me - and maybe not!! Who knows?? What if I had a bigger freak and he was always on me to neaten up? I recall a story once (I think it was a short-story fiction) where two neat-freaks wanted to live with each other and ended up breaking up because all of the clothes in his closet had the front to the left, and all of hers had the the front to the right. They tried to problem solve by having separate closets, but apparently the discrepancy weighed on their relationship. This was before we threw around terms like "OCD." People were just "weird" back then. I harbor no such illusions. I know I'm weird. But the closet thing....even I'm not that anal!
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 15, 2016 20:14:23 GMT -5
I recall a story once (I think it was a short-story fiction) where two neat-freaks wanted to live with each other and ended up breaking up because all of the clothes in his closet had the front to the left, and all of hers had the the front to the right. They tried to problem solve by having separate closets, but apparently the discrepancy weighed on their relationship. This was before we threw around terms like "OCD." People were just "weird" back then. I harbor no such illusions. I know I'm weird. But the closet thing....even I'm not that anal! Are your clothes lined up by color? It will be interesting sharing a closet again with my wife in a long time (since our first apartment) because she could Not stand how my clothes were not organized by: - color - type - style - etc. I told her she should be happy I get the clothes in the closet!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 15, 2016 20:42:23 GMT -5
I harbor no such illusions. I know I'm weird. But the closet thing....even I'm not that anal! Are your clothes lined up by color? It will be interesting sharing a closet again with my wife in a long time (since our first apartment) because she could Not stand how my clothes were not organized by: - color - type - style - etc. I told her she should be happy I get the clothes in the closet! Mine shirts are by sleeve length.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 15, 2016 20:43:17 GMT -5
Are your clothes lined up by color? It will be interesting sharing a closet again with my wife in a long time (since our first apartment) because she could Not stand how my clothes were not organized by: - color - type - style - etc. I told her she should be happy I get the clothes in the closet! Mine shirts are by sleeve length. Wow!!! How do you find the time? I just take out a hanger, put the shirt on it, put shit and hanger back inside closet!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 15, 2016 20:45:33 GMT -5
When I am hanging up my clothes, I just put them with the other ones of that sleeve length.
My pants I put in the back, and I generally wear them in order. Otherwise I would wear the same two pairs every day.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 15, 2016 20:55:16 GMT -5
Otherwise I would wear the same two pairs every day. What is wrong with that
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 15, 2016 21:10:41 GMT -5
My clothes hang by color then long sleeve to short sleeve to sleeveless. Left to right. Dark to light. Starting with black then navy and so on until you get to white.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 15, 2016 21:16:15 GMT -5
I try to organize by style, sleeve length and color too. (I managed this better at my old apartment, where I had more closet to work with.) It's the best way to find something.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 15, 2016 21:38:23 GMT -5
lol....you people have issues
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 15, 2016 22:03:28 GMT -5
<cackle> It's taken only reading this thread to make me jump for joy that I'm so "oral"! If it's in the closet, on a hanger, and clean - I'm a happy camper.
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