ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 3, 2016 20:29:10 GMT -5
My daughter took a couple outfits that my mom made for her when she was a baby and my son doesn't want any of it. I will probably pick out a couple outfits of each before I donate them.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 3, 2016 20:37:43 GMT -5
We have a place called The Community Cupboard that you can donate stuff to. I take most of my stuff there but there are some items that my mom has given me that I want to donate but I don't want her to see them and know that I donated them. Some of it is 2 large totes of baby clothes that she saved of my kids - who are now 31 and 33 - that she wanted me to give to my daughter for when she has kids. My daughter can't have kids so I want to donate them. I would love to give my things to people who need them but I don't know many people in town. I bought some things for my neighbor's daughter, on ebay. It turned out she lives in the same city I do, so she decided to drop them off to me. She ended up giving me 2 big bags of stuff free, that she didn't sell and wanted to get rid of. I took them, and soaked / bleached everything, to get the stains out. I didn't have any emotional attachment to the items, so I wasn't too concerned about ruining them. I was more concerned about them looking nice. Is there an apt community in your area? I talked to the mgr of my apts and explained I have random things I'm getting rid of. She said she always has new people moving in, that don't have anything. I often times take items to her, then she gives them to people that can use it. Maybe you could do something like that? Whatever you end up doing, whoever gets them, will be glad to have them!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 3, 2016 20:58:56 GMT -5
My parents saved ALL of my stuff.. Honestly, it made having our first kid more stressful. Because it was another time where the focus was on my parents feelings rather than us having a baby.
For our kids, we saved their coming home outfits..and a few firsts. First pairs of shoes, DS's first clip on tie, an outfit that we really treasured. And that's been about it.
For my DD's I'm saving their fancy dresses. Eventually, I'll start working on a small crazy quilt and use material from their dresses. That way, they can have something tangible other than formal Christmas pictures. I'll add special touches to it as well. Like lace from my wedding dress. (DD1 had her communion dress made from my wedding dress.)
Truly, the basement is a very overwhelming place right now. It's just filled with so much crap from having three kids. What amazes me is that we didn't even have most of the baby gear. I don't want to be storing their stuff for several more decades.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 4, 2016 2:35:09 GMT -5
My parents saved ALL of my stuff.. Honestly, it made having our first kid more stressful. Because it was another time where the focus was on my parents feelings rather than us having a baby. For our kids, we saved their coming home outfits..and a few firsts. First pairs of shoes, DS's first clip on tie, an outfit that we really treasured. And that's been about it. For my DD's I'm saving their fancy dresses. Eventually, I'll start working on a small crazy quilt and use material from their dresses. That way, they can have something tangible other than formal Christmas pictures. I'll add special touches to it as well. Like lace from my wedding dress. (DD1 had her communion dress made from my wedding dress.) Truly, the basement is a very overwhelming place right now. It's just filled with so much crap from having three kids. What amazes me is that we didn't even have most of the baby gear. I don't want to be storing their stuff for several more decades.
Holy Moly! That's a lot of stuff to store... For a LONG time! I couldn't deal with that. I love my kids and all, but I've got my limits. Very cool, that DD1 had her communion dress made from your wedding dress!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 4, 2016 7:14:55 GMT -5
Holy Moly! That's a lot of stuff to store... For a LONG time! I couldn't deal with that. I love my kids and all, but I've got my limits. Very cool, that DD1 had her communion dress made from your wedding dress! That's why we are trying to purge. My oldest isn't even a teen yet. He might not buy a house until he's in his 30's. That's 20 more years. My youngest is starting 4K. We've got a long way to go with her. I do intend to keep some toys around for grandkids. We've got some really nice generic Playmobil sets that will likely stay with us. As for my folks, it was a lot of stuff. And it was clear that they put gear etc away thinking they'd have another kid. They didn't, but they never went through my gear. There were 25+ year old gooey baby bottle nipples that we found in my stuff. Yeah, DD1 was pretty sure she didn't want my wedding dress. Which was great. DD2 is going to be the only girl/woman going through rites wearing a pants suit. So, I figured at least we can get some use out of my dress. Otherwise the kids are just going to throw it away when we have to move to assisted living or die. I'm also going to save some lace to edge hankies with and have someone make 3 ring bearer pillows for the kids.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 4, 2016 11:06:28 GMT -5
Holy Moly! That's a lot of stuff to store... For a LONG time! I couldn't deal with that. I love my kids and all, but I've got my limits. Very cool, that DD1 had her communion dress made from your wedding dress! That's why we are trying to purge. My oldest isn't even a teen yet. He might not buy a house until he's in his 30's. That's 20 more years. My youngest is starting 4K. We've got a long way to go with her. I do intend to keep some toys around for grandkids. We've got some really nice generic Playmobil sets that will likely stay with us. As for my folks, it was a lot of stuff. And it was clear that they put gear etc away thinking they'd have another kid. They didn't, but they never went through my gear. There were 25+ year old gooey baby bottle nipples that we found in my stuff. Yeah, DD1 was pretty sure she didn't want my wedding dress. Which was great. DD2 is going to be the only girl/woman going through rites wearing a pants suit. So, I figured at least we can get some use out of my dress. Otherwise the kids are just going to throw it away when we have to move to assisted living or die. I'm also going to save some lace to edge hankies with and have someone make 3 ring bearer pillows for the kids. I held on to a ton of stuff from the kids' early years, too. Drama posted in the WIR Parenting thread about "existing" during a tough stretch and I was forced to exist and plow through for the first 14 years of the kids' lives. So, I couldn't make decisions about stuff -- I wasnt processing anything and making fond memories, I was just getting through crap so NOT of my own making. I started to breathe about a year after we moved from our old town and was beginning to weed through stuff and make decisions. Then, the tree crushed our house and the water damage made the decisions for me -- in often much harsher ways than I would have. I've been able to let go by taking pictures of the most cherished stuff before trashing it. Yesterday, I came across a picture of some Halloween doorknob hangers the kids made. One, in a very childish scrawl, said "Do not enter. You will get fingers of blood." It made me laugh at that wonderfully naive, childish, sense of horror and of the wayward printing, and tear up at days gone forever (the enjoyment of which I was robbed). My point is, the picture brought the same memories back as the doorknob hangers themselves would have, but in a much less cluttered way. If anyone is having trouble letting go, take pictures from every angle of everything and then be ruthless and toss the items. The pictures will prevent you from forgetting, I promise.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 4, 2016 14:58:29 GMT -5
Even though we hope to have more kids, I am pretty ruthless at purging even the baby stuff. I am letting most of the clothes go. No need having them sit in the basement when someone else could be using them. I am, however, keeping the footed PJs. It's crazy how expensive those are to replace even 2nd hand! Carseat was near expiring, so it's gone. I want to get rid of the swing - if we have another, I would want a different one anyway.
DH loves to keep every little thing DD scribbles on. To the point where we have boxes of her drawings just from the last year. I had been tossing the things she brought home from school - half completed worksheets, coloring sheets, weird construction paper crafts - and was trying to only keep a few things where she actually drew her own picture or wrote her own words. DH caught me and got upset, so I started diverting those things to a box. Once the box was full, I set it by his dresser in a place where I thought he would need to deal with it. Turns out, he found the flat surface on top perfect for piling even more crap. UGHGHGH!
I've been sleeping in the guest room for nearly a year now due to his terrible snoring. Better than me kicking the heck out of him all night and neither of us sleeping But as soon as I did that it's like he started taking over all of my places in that room to the point where I told him he's completely crowded me out. I couldn't come back in there even if I wanted to. Probably another good thing to talk to a counselor about.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 4, 2016 19:32:59 GMT -5
I have a friend whose mother kept all of her things from when she grew up. That seems to mean everything, every outfit she had and all of her toys, etc. When her mother died, her brother wanted nothing. My friend can't part with any of her mother's things or any of her things. She lives alone. It takes 4 storage units to hold all this crap. Can't imagine what it is costing her.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2016 10:37:36 GMT -5
Even though we hope to have more kids, I am pretty ruthless at purging even the baby stuff. I am letting most of the clothes go. No need having them sit in the basement when someone else could be using them. I am, however, keeping the footed PJs. It's crazy how expensive those are to replace even 2nd hand! Carseat was near expiring, so it's gone. I want to get rid of the swing - if we have another, I would want a different one anyway.
DH loves to keep every little thing DD scribbles on. To the point where we have boxes of her drawings just from the last year. I had been tossing the things she brought home from school - half completed worksheets, coloring sheets, weird construction paper crafts - and was trying to only keep a few things where she actually drew her own picture or wrote her own words. DH caught me and got upset, so I started diverting those things to a box. Once the box was full, I set it by his dresser in a place where I thought he would need to deal with it. Turns out, he found the flat surface on top perfect for piling even more crap. UGHGHGH!
I've been sleeping in the guest room for nearly a year now due to his terrible snoring. Better than me kicking the heck out of him all night and neither of us sleeping But as soon as I did that it's like he started taking over all of my places in that room to the point where I told him he's completely crowded me out. I couldn't come back in there even if I wanted to. Probably another good thing to talk to a counselor about. I'm terrible about throwing kids art away. I keep very, very little. Has you DH ever had a sleep study done? My ex was a horrible snorer and years after we were divorced he went in and found out he had sleep apnea. He has a C-Pap machine now and apparently doesn't snore or nod off during the day the way he used to.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 5, 2016 11:26:39 GMT -5
DH knows he has sleep apnea. Hell, he as awake apnea* (not sure it's a real thing, but there are often times when we are watching TV when I look at him and say "Please breathe!" - he doesn't realize he's holding his breath). No way in heck he would sleep with that cpap machine. I can fuss at him all I want, but I can't make him go to the Dr.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2016 11:33:01 GMT -5
That's too bad. My ex said it made such a huge difference in his life. He even went through all kinds of trouble to get a solar charger for it so he could take it with on the sailing trip he's on with DS this week. I asked him if he couldn't just go without it for a week and he said "no way!"
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 5, 2016 12:02:15 GMT -5
I started making art "portfolios" for the kids artwork that I couldn't part with (which is more than I'd like to admit).
I get the large 3 section poster boards, glue fabric to them, and a button closure. I can keep a ton of paintings/drawings in there and barely take up any room. I go through them once or twice a year and pare down as well so hopefully I won't be swimming in stuff in 15 years. I'm putting all of ds' books that he wrote this year in sheet protectors in a 3 ring binder.
I'm pretty ruthless with "homework" though and chuck that as fast as possible.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Aug 5, 2016 12:16:17 GMT -5
DH knows he has sleep apnea. Hell, he as awake apnea* (not sure it's a real thing, but there are often times when we are watching TV when I look at him and say "Please breathe!" - he doesn't realize he's holding his breath). No way in heck he would sleep with that cpap machine. I can fuss at him all I want, but I can't make him go to the Dr. Have you tried telling me that he's playing Russian roulette every time he goes to sleep?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 5, 2016 12:20:06 GMT -5
I was grateful. DD2 did A LOT of art in preschool that can't be saved: feathery, glittery, macaroni type things that just won't last. We have a few nice things from her, and that's it.
We save things at are worth it and that will fit in a folder or box.. I will save random things that tickle my fancy..DD1 drew a picture of Peppa Pig Zombies. Makes me laugh every time I think about it.
When DS was in 1st or second grade, they did stranger danger. There was a worksheet on what to do. You know, step 1)Yell for an Adult. 2) Try to run away.
DS drew a stick figure accompanied by the words "Kick him in the wee-wee." (He knew correct names for parts). DS and DD1 are 4 years apart. When she brought home that exact same paper, DH and I were like "Look it's the kick him in the wee-wee worksheet."
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 5, 2016 12:24:08 GMT -5
That's too bad. My ex said it made such a huge difference in his life. He even went through all kinds of trouble to get a solar charger for it so he could take it with on the sailing trip he's on with DS this week. I asked him if he couldn't just go without it for a week and he said "no way!" This isn't the boat trip we were talking about on the other thread, is it? As far as the CPAP machine goes, I work with a couple of people that use them at night, and the one woman could tell a difference immediately, she had so much more energy and actually felt rested in the morning.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2016 12:36:10 GMT -5
This isn't the boat trip we were talking about on the other thread, is it? Nope. Different ex, and totally different trip. This is with the Boy Scouts.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 5, 2016 12:46:31 GMT -5
Those CPAP machines though, if they're anything like what,my mom had to use in the hospital, I don't know how anyone could sleep connected to that thing. Of course, breathing is kinda important too. ;-)
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Aug 5, 2016 22:45:49 GMT -5
Those CPAP machines though, if they're anything like what,my mom had to use in the hospital, I don't know how anyone could sleep connected to that thing. Of course, breathing is kinda important too. ;-) They've gotten much better. I move a lot in my sleep, so I would think it would be super frustrating, but a coworker has one where the face piece is minimal and the hose "come off the top of my head". He said it looks ridiculous, but it doesn't interfere with his movement and is much better than his old one. My dad uses one (they stopped his sleep study because of how often and how long he quit breathing). It's not quiet, but much less noisy than his snoring was! Sometimes I wonder if I need to do the study. I don't snore (at least didn't the last time I slept with someone), but I wake up very tired, even when I sleep a lot.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 6, 2016 9:39:31 GMT -5
DH knows he has sleep apnea. Hell, he as awake apnea* (not sure it's a real thing, but there are often times when we are watching TV when I look at him and say "Please breathe!" - he doesn't realize he's holding his breath). No way in heck he would sleep with that cpap machine. I can fuss at him all I want, but I can't make him go to the Dr. I have to laugh. This makes me think of when my DX2 used to look at me, at random times and exclaim "Oh my gosh! I just realized I haven't been breathing for the last 6-7 hours!" I don't know how, or why, but he totally believed it was true. The first few times he said it, I tried to explain, it isn't possible. After that, I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 9, 2016 16:29:45 GMT -5
I had a few things listed on eBay for the past couple of months and they haven't sold so I guess I will box them up and donate them. Cuz apparently nobody wants my junk either.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Aug 9, 2016 21:11:05 GMT -5
DH uses a CPAP machine and it's really quiet. I only hear it when I'm awake and he stops breathing and it "pushes" the air to him. It makes a soft, funny whooshing noise. Not Lou's at all, but if I'm awake I do hear it.
He's a pack rat too and I get really frustrated with all the junk and mess. I've actually started tossing stuff when he's not home. Trash day is Friday and I work from home that day, so after he goes to work I put the stuff I want to get rid of out by the curb and it disappears! Most of the time he doesn't even notice.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Aug 9, 2016 21:12:04 GMT -5
I have some items I tried selling on Craigslist with no takers so I think I'll just donate them.
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 11, 2016 21:10:19 GMT -5
I just went through the big tote of my daughter's baby clothes and am going to donate all of them. It is a kitchen garbage bag full. It was hard because of the memories but I will always have the memories. Now tomorrow I hope to go through the big tote of my son's baby clothes. When I go out of town next week for a doctor's appointment I may have a car full of donations.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 11, 2016 22:59:40 GMT -5
I just went through the big tote of my daughter's baby clothes and am going to donate all of them. It is a kitchen garbage bag full. It was hard because of the memories but I will always have the memories. Now tomorrow I hope to go through the big tote of my son's baby clothes. When I go out of town next week for a doctor's appointment I may have a car full of donations. Good for you! It is hard, like you said. But isn't it nice to have it done? It will be great once you done both of them, and no longer have to think about them. Woo Hoo! A car full of donations, is a car full of items that are no longer impeding on your space and that much less clutter. I just gave away a garbage bag of cheap hangers. Not that that's a big deal, but the reason they are empty and could be given away, is because I gave away a LOT of clothes about a week ago. That's the part that feels good. -Heck, getting rid of the hangers felt good too. Getting rid of anything, feels good, if I don't need it. But still, I have so far to go.
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 12, 2016 12:09:06 GMT -5
Getting rid of those 2 big totes from my bedroom will clear out a little space at least.
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 21, 2016 17:07:26 GMT -5
So Wednesday I took the 3 large garbage bags of clothes to donate. They had the kid's baby clothes in them. When I put them in the trunk I contemplated taking them out, when I was at the donation bin I tried to talk myself into the fact that maybe I should keep them, but I donated them and went on.
Today I am going through kitchen cupboards and clearing out stuff. This morning I thought my refrigerator went on the blink and I looked around my kitchen and almost cried thinking that if I had to call in a repairman that he would see all my junk. But luckily it was just warm from opening it so much after buying groceries. I have got to get this stuff taken care of and a home for it or donate it or trash it.
Two years ago I put my weed eater batteries away until the next summer and I still can't find them. I have no idea where they are at. I still have a ton of cupboards to go through so after I can see my kitchen table I will work on them.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 21, 2016 17:31:01 GMT -5
So Wednesday I took the 3 large garbage bags of clothes to donate. They had the kid's baby clothes in them. When I put them in the trunk I contemplated taking them out, when I was at the donation bin I tried to talk myself into the fact that maybe I should keep them, but I donated them and went on. Today I am going through kitchen cupboards and clearing out stuff. This morning I thought my refrigerator went on the blink and I looked around my kitchen and almost cried thinking that if I had to call in a repairman that he would see all my junk. But luckily it was just warm from opening it so much after buying groceries. I have got to get this stuff taken care of and a home for it or donate it or trash it. Two years ago I put my weed eater batteries away until the next summer and I still can't find them. I have no idea where they are at. I still have a ton of cupboards to go through so after I can see my kitchen table I will work on them. About 12-14 yrs ago, when I moved to the apts I'm now in, my daughter and I took down my hand held shower and packed it. The whole time we were doing it, we talked about what we were packing it with, so I could find it at my new place. I still haven't found it! Ugh!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2016 18:12:19 GMT -5
Oh my, this has been a really tough thread to wade through. Our stuff carries a lot of memory baggage, doesn't it? The CPAP part is particularly tough for me b/c DH snores a lot and lives in the sovereign state of denial. I sleep on the couch or floor in another room and I feel very resentful. Even if, and that's a BIG if, he would wear his mouthpiece (never mind the CPAP, that ain't happening) I would still have to endure his thrashing and kicking and punching. I do believe he honestly doesn't know that he's doing those things, but I can't do without sleep anymore, or endure pain. My greatest fear is that, if I sleep in our bed, I will be so badly injured I will have to call 911 and then what? I don't know what demons he fights, even after 42 years married end of this month. No, he wasn't a combat veteran.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Aug 21, 2016 19:43:22 GMT -5
Good for you Dolphin. I know it's not an easy process for some people. My DH is somewhat of a hoarder. I'm a declutterer so I curb those tendencies in him.
I always tell him (I didn't make it up, I read it somewhere, I think Peter Walsh said it on Oprah): when everything has value, nothing has value. I really believe that.
I hope you can keep on keeping on until you get to a place where you are happy to come home, and find your home relaxing instead of stressful. If you continue, at some point soon, you will have several rooms that you can feel relaxed in, and that will feel great!
You're doing great! And again, if you feel like it, come over to the dark side the WIR decluttering thread.
Best of luck to you!
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Aug 22, 2016 7:01:41 GMT -5
I guess what frustrates me the most is that all my free time is taken up with going through clutter. I was going to take the dog for 2 walks, exercise and sew yesterday instead of going through clutter so I didn't get the things done that relax me.
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