Are you a worrier? My folks were so am I

[msventoux]

I worry about everything.  When I don't worry about things, I find that worrying because it must mean I'm not planning for all contingencies in some manner. 

I'm having similar issues with my old dog.  I worry that I'll need to put him down, but worry that I'll put him down too soon because caring for him is time consuming and inconvenient.  I'm hoping he gives me a clear sign when he's ready to go.

He's been an awesome dog and deserves to live out the rest of his days in comfort.  As long as he still seems happy and the meds are keeping his pain under control, he gets a free pass.  I'll help him get up, help him get in and outside and clean up the accidents as they occur. 

[Deleted]

I worry. 

[Deleted]

My husband says he never has to worry because I do enough for everyone.  

The ex was known as "Dr. Doom" because he saw the dark side of everything.  I am not like that, but I can see different sides of everything so I have a hard time not worrying.  

Example: the guy who cuts our lawn is supposedly a lawn service.  But every time he comes out here, he seems to have a different bunch of young boys working.  I worry that he's just picking up neighborhood boys who may get hurt.  That sort of thing.  I always make sure to write the check to the service even though I know he personally cashes the check.  

I don't worry about my pet (she is nine), and I wouldn't worry about yours.  Twenty is a long time for a pet, even a cat.  Her time will come.

See?  I can be philosophical about that (I think even about my dog).  But I worry that the dishwasher will die (it is 11 or 12 years old and was a $200 dishwasher at that) every time I turn it on.

Ironically, my ability to "worry" doesn't make me a negative person.  

[weltschmerz]

Jul 17, 2016 21:25:30 GMT -5 @patstab said:

As many know I am worrying about money and MIL, then I project onto us and on and on.

Now I am worrying about my old cat.

She will wonder around howling till I talk to her at times. They say there is such a thing

as kitty dementia and she can get lost and not realize where she is and that's why she

will howl.  Hubby thinks she may be having trouble seeing. He said she will come up to

him and meow until he says something to her and she realizes its not me.

She is losing more weight and demanding food constantly.  I am spending a small fortune

buying her specialty foods and seeing if she will eat them.  Many she seems to just want

the juice from then I end up pitching the food, they said long ago quit giving her dry.  I

just give her a treat once in awhile.  I know she has issues and the vet and I have talked

about it, there is nothing much that can be done, she is 20 and I know the rest of her life

is limited. I love this little animal and its going to devastate me when she dies. I find myself

constantly worrying that she will. This is ridiculous but I can't help it.  No matter how late

I'm up the little thing waits till I go to bed. She curls up in the crook of my arm and I pet

her head and face before we go to sleep.  She wants to be close when I sit down but

especially at night.  Surprisingly my husband who wants no animals in the house is

tolerating her.  Darn animals they twist around your heart.

I'm sorry. Couscous was 20 when I had to put him down. I can't really say I was worried about it. It was something that was going to happen whether I worried about it or not.
He let me know...he just stopped eating and I knew it was time. Of course it broke my heart, but I knew he had very good years with my mom and then me.
I have enough room in my heart to love other cats, and give them good years.
Sushi the Destroyer is a case in point. I love that little dude.

(Little. Ha! He's a 20 pound beast)

[Deleted]

No, I really don't say I worry, concerned certainly about my life, my family's/friends/cyber ymam peeps/ others who are hurting, being challenged, etc., as well as the whole world, honestly.


Thankfully my faith allows me (actually instructs me) to go to Him and lay my worry/concerns at His feet. I read His Word everyday and am comforted. I also read authors that share passages that reiterate His promises. Authors like Sarah Young who has several small books "Jesus Today" comes to mind, and Sheri Rose Shepard's, "His Princess."  I also like Marianne Williamson who I find comforting as well...and the list is endless, really.


I pray a lot and have and will continue to pray for you, for me, and all humanity around the world.


I mean no offense, and if you are offended, I apologize as it's not my intention.  


     

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

A certain level of worry is good to the point it encourages good decisions and planning.  I try not to worry about things I don't have any control over.   My great grandmother used to worry constantly.  My uncle once asked her why she stresses out so much since 99% of what she worries about never actually happens.  My grandma replied, "See!  It works!"  

[Deleted]

I am a worrier. Not nearly as bad as my Mom, but bad enough. I've learned to start letting go of things I have no control over and those things, I pray about. Worrying keeps you from being able to live in the present moment and I don't want to spend my whole life worrying instead of doing and enjoying.

[zibazinski]

Nope. I have my financial life in order. That's all I cared about, that I didn't leave a mess like my mom and DH did. I'd be sad not to see my kids fulfill their lives but they're adults and can manage without me now.

[Shooby]

You love your kitty Pat so that is natural.  I do worry as well.  I think my finances are in pretty good shape so i don't think i will have to eat dog food in my old age.  Well, unless the stock market crashes big time so that may happen, but if it does then most everyone else will be eating dog food so i will be in good company.   My younger son starts college and those costs are looming though i am ready for them.  For my younger daughter, i am very heavily funding her 529 as i expect she will do both undergrad and grad school as she is academically oriented.
  I worry about being alone in my later years.  It scares me to think about living alone.  Both DH and I seem healthy so hopefully we will be around for a long time.
  I worry that if i am not here that my kids will be OK.  I think they will but especially my daughter seems to need me the most as we are very close.  I was very close with my mom as well.

[alabamagal]

My youngest is not really worrier, but has a need to know details about every new thing before it happens. He also doesn't deal well with changes - once you tell him something he gets upset if you change.

I just booked him a plane ticket for vacation. It his first time flying and he will be by himself. He is 21. Flight is 3 weeks away and he has already worried. Wants to know how he will know where to go and get on the right plane, etc. it is Atlanta airport, and I have been there a lot and can give him details.

[busymom]

My Mom was a major worrier, to the point that I'm thinking now she might have benefitted from medication. But, she had a lot of responsibilities, and Dad, being the traditional wage earner, really didn't help out with things until after work.

I worried more when I was younger. I, like @shabbona, have figured out over the years that when I turn over a lot of my problems to God, that things usually work out. It's not that I never worry anymore, but it doesn't become obsessive.

I AM the family planner.  DH works very long days, & he really isn't involved with the day-to-day decisions.  And, he doesn't care if I make the big/expensive-type decisions.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I worry about things that I can actually have an affect on the outcome. I used to worry about everything.  It was affecting my health. I don't worry about stuff that is out of my control anymore because there is no point. I didn't go cold turkey with worrying, but I sure did cut down on it.

So sorry about your little fur baby. After I lost one dog, I didn't want another one for a long time because....let's face it....I'm probably going to out live another one. But I went ahead anyway because the hours spent loving the big brute are well worth the sadness I will feel when it is his time.  My heart goes out to you.

[Ombud]

I think I'm an optimist IRL who's positive that I'll run out of money (hence WIRS despite trying to live on my pension (2 month experiment) & invest my salary)

[WholeLottaNothin]

Jul 18, 2016 9:12:51 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

My youngest is not really worrier, but has a need to know details about every new thing before it happens. He also doesn't deal well with changes - once you tell him something he gets upset if you change.

I just booked him a plane ticket for vacation. It his first time flying and he will be by himself. He is 21. Flight is 3 weeks away and he has already worried. Wants to know how he will know where to go and get on the right plane, etc. it is Atlanta airport, and I have been there a lot and can give him details.

 My older son is the same way. He goes into Kindergarten in September at a different school than he had for Pre-K and I worry that the change will be overwhelming for him. I was the same way when I was younger, but not as extreme. When we moved to the latest apartment a couple of years ago, he talked about going back to the old one for months. He never really adjusted to this place. And now we are buying a house and all of a sudden he loves the current apartment and never wants to leave. It is just a lot of changes for him in a short amount of time, and even one change can really throw him for a loop. The younger son already has a different personality. I can see the older one needing more support in the coming years.

[NastyWoman]

Jul 18, 2016 9:35:32 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I worry about things that I can actually have an affect on the outcome. I used to worry about everything.  It was affecting my health. I don't worry about stuff that is out of my control anymore because there is no point. I didn't go cold turkey with worrying, but I sure did cut down on it.

So sorry about your little fur baby. After I lost one dog, I didn't want another one for a long time because....let's face it....I'm probably going to out live another one. But I went ahead anyway because the hours spent loving the big brute are well worth the sadness I will feel when it is his time.  My heart goes out to you.

That is interesting and a few others said the same thing.  I mostly worry about the things I cannot control.  They might turn out in a way I don't like and nobody/nothing gives me a chance to fix it.  If I have control I just go for it and if that doesn't turn out the way I want, I just get mad at myself and try to fix things if I can.

Yes, I am somewhat of a control freak...

[Peace Of Mind]

Jul 17, 2016 23:15:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

A certain level of worry is good to the point it encourages good decisions and planning.  I try not to worry about things I don't have any control over.   My great grandmother used to worry constantly.  My uncle once asked her why she stresses out so much since 99% of what she worries about never actually happens.  My grandma replied, "See!  It works!"  

LOL!  That's what I tell DH.  I'll say "I'm going to worry over this because then nothing bad will happen". 

But I'm weird (I know, I know) I worry over stupid shit and the huge stuff that other's worry about don't faze me.  I think that's what they call being "female".      

I laugh when we are out at our property (it's out in the country where it will NEVER get attacked by ISIS, etc.) and there are guys out there blasting away with every kind of gun you can think of and I'm worried they will put a hole in my boat - not an ISIS attack. 

ETA:  My favorite kitty just turned 17 a few days ago and I know our time together could be very limited now so I just spoil her rotten and give in to her demands.  She loves whipped  cream.  LOVES it.  So she gets more than I used to give her (but not enough to give her the runs) because what if I don't and she were to pass?  How could I live with myself knowing she asked for something so little and I begrudged her that little bit of kitty happiness?  She has me so well trained!

[Tired Tess]

I worry about dementia. Mom was one of five children and four had dementia.

I worry about money for retirement.  I need to calm down over this.  I'm 58. How much more can I save and how much time do I have until I stop working?

I do pray.  That really calms me down.  

And, I really hate to admit this, but I do have a bit of "the end is coming" going on in my head.

[NastyWoman]

On the greater scale of things I do worry that we may soon reach a tipping point where one execution leads to another, to another, and on and on. One cop shooting a suspect (whether justified or not) leading to another person executing cops. And the fear that this will cause in all will make it impossible to turn it back and start a constructive dialogue...

Again, something I cannot control

[thyme4change]

My mother is a worrier, my father is a planner.  He doesn't feel the need to worry - because he has a plan.  And, most likely, a plan B.  I take both of those tactics - usually at different times.  When I can't figure out a plan is when I really lose sleep.  

[Virgil Showlion]

I always wished I could be a worrier, but I never learned how to wield a sword properly.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Jul 19, 2016 4:45:21 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

I always wished I could be a worrier, but I never learned how to wield a sword properly.

*groan*

[wyouser]

Jul 19, 2016 4:45:21 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

I always wished I could be a worrier, but I never learned how to wield a sword properly.

That is why you stock up on Dobermans and Rottweilers.......

[Blonde Granny]

I prefer a Walther P380 with hollow point bullets.

[cronewitch]

I plan money then make contingency plans and then more contingency plans. I don't have pets but never worried about them, pets die after 15-20 years. ISO has chickens and sometimes one disappears leaving a pile of feathers, nothing much you can do about it but lock them up at night. They either learn to hide from hawks or they don't, you protect them from raccoons and things as much as you can but sometimes eagles or hawks get a meal.

[Deleted]

I forgot to say that I do understand and empathize with you re: your  ol' kitty, pat. My Bailey does the howling thing also; always has. Dh would ask her/interrupt her thinking something was wrong and she'd stop. I then asked him not to do that; instead just let her do her thing as she obviously wants/needs to vocalize about once a week; usually carrying a shoelace tied w/knots. Birdie vocalizes watching us cook cuz she likes to eat people food; loves steak, chicken, pork, butter pats, etc.

Both of our cats are rescues, Bailey is 9 and we share the same birthdate...(only 50 yrs. apart bwwwahaha!) She came to us as a one year old kitty when my dd moved, couldn't take her and asked me if I would; she had rescued her from the humane society @ 8 weeks; I was with her. I knew Bailey from visiting my DD's, she slept w/me when I visited, but I had never actually owned cats 24/7 before, only dogs. Of course I caved and said yes. So Bailey was an "only kitty" for the next 4 yrs. with us. Then we found Birdie literally starving and nearly dead at our compost pile as we were getting ready to head back to our main house one Sunday evening. Dh took her to the vet the next morning when they opened. We took turns staying up all night with her before we could get to the vet. Vet surmized she was about 6 mos. old, weighed 3lbs.* poor baby* intravenous water/fluids/antibiotics then sent us meds home with instructions/droppers, etc. I ended up staying here w/her alone for the next 4 days to take care of her. (Bailey considers me hers and prefers not to share...but I keep tryin' to teach her and she is better, but she couldn't stay with me @ that point..) They were both spayed when very young. DD did Bailey about a week after adopting her and we did Birdie a couple months after she was well enough.


Anyway, Dh took Bailey back w/him to finish his work week out. Birdie meanwhile was sooo weak she just slept in my arms as I rocked her in Dh's lazyboy and gave her her various meds. She pulled through like a trooper Thank G**, and been a loving, grateful, member of the family ever since. Dh retired @ 52 five months ago and we moved here to the country full time. We both walk our cats the 3 acres everyday; they're like puppies in that they come when we call and just want to be where we are, really. We spoil them rotten, rotten I tell ya!


Hope your old girl gets spoiled more everyday! And I truly hope our grief after losing them is short, I believe we all go to a much better place anyway, yes everything including pets. We don't really die, we just change form; lose our bodies but retain our personalities and souls.


Yeah, crazy talk     some say but that's okay; it's part of what makes the world go 'round ya know? Different viewpoints/beliefs for all the world's different peoples...


Warmest regards w/all your dealing with at present...wish it were easier for you       

[dannylion]

I don't worry. it is pointless and interferes with achieving a solution.  If something concerns me, I analyze and plan. I figure out what I can do right now about whatever it is, then I do that. Then I make plans for what needs to be done later. Then I just execute the plan. Worry doesn't fix anything.  Having a plan does. 

I am essentially on my own as I have no close family, so I don't have anyone to talk to about issues that might be of concern.  Worrying about problems doesn't solve them, and there is no one to fix issues affecting me other than me, so I just I have to deal with it.  I can't afford to worry.  Anything that doesn't contribute to solving a problem is a waste of energy.  I am just relentlessly practical.  I don't want to get sucked into an emotional spiral of worst-case scenarios or drama.  I want to find a solution so the problem, whatever it is, goes away. 

 

I think being worried about the health of a beloved pet or family member is different from worry about events, jobs, money, relationships, and things affecting oneself, etc.  One can still assess the situation and make plans for possible contingencies, but the outcome is still of concern and thinking about it and hoping for the best but fearing the worst is natural and just an outgrowth of caring.  I think that kind of worry is unavoidable. 

ETA:  My mother constantly worried, mostly about "what will people think?"  I did not inherit that gene.  People are gonna think what they're gonna think.  I don't give a rat's patootie. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I worry to the point where I should probably investigate taking some medication for it because it's developed into a full blown anxiety disorder.

I've always been high strung.  I used to break out in hives every August like clockwork at the thought of going back to school and that I wasn't smart enough.

We've had so much crap hurled our way the past year and a half that worrying has become a constant state of mind for me.

It's gotten so bad the past week that I woke up in hysterics over our budget and spent between 2 am and 4 am up with my phone calculator.  Last night I could not sleep due to all the stress from my job.

I am learning to speak up.  DH got angry with me not because i woke him up at 3 am but because I have been holding all this panic inside me that it got to where I had to wake him up at 3 am.

I confessed to my boss how overwhelmed I am right now so we had a meeting with her, the person I am replacing and her boss to discuss things.   They told me now was the time to be honest so I was honest.

My full time workload will be moved to other technicians and they are looking to hire someone.  My sole job for the next two months is to focus on learning these new duties, the lab downstairs will help me as best they are able to learn how to troubleshoot.

I am also a control freak which does not help.  I don't freak out over things I can control because I can plan for every worst case scenario.  It's stuff I CAN'T control that sends me up a wall.  I was learning to manage that but with everything that has gone since January last year my coping skills have flown the coop.  It's an uphill battle to get them back.

[weltschmerz]

I'm not a worrier at all. My parents were, but not me. If there was a bill or traffic ticket to pay, it had to be paid the SAME DAY!
I don't even know how much money I have in my account. If I don't have enough to cover expenses, I have overdraft protection. Meh. It always works out in the end. Life is too short to spend time losing sleep and emotional handwringing, worrying, worrying, worrying.
I'm the exact opposite of a control freak.

[zibazinski]

Jul 19, 2016 16:37:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I worry to the point where I should probably investigate taking some medication for it because it's developed into a full blown anxiety disorder.

I've always been high strung.  I used to break out in hives every August like clockwork at the thought of going back to school and that I wasn't smart enough.

We've had so much crap hurled our way the past year and a half that worrying has become a constant state of mind for me.

It's gotten so bad the past week that I woke up in hysterics over our budget and spent between 2 am and 4 am up with my phone calculator.  Last night I could not sleep due to all the stress from my job.

I am learning to speak up.  DH got angry with me not because i woke him up at 3 am but because I have been holding all this panic inside me that it got to where I had to wake him up at 3 am.

I confessed to my boss how overwhelmed I am right now so we had a meeting with her, the person I am replacing and her boss to discuss things.   They told me now was the time to be honest so I was honest.

My full time workload will be moved to other technicians and they are looking to hire someone.  My sole job for the next two months is to focus on learning these new duties, the lab downstairs will help me as best they are able to learn how to troubleshoot.

I am also a control freak which does not help.  I don't freak out over things I can control because I can plan for every worst case scenario.  It's stuff I CAN'T control that sends me up a wall.  I was learning to manage that but with everything that has gone since January last year my coping skills have flown the coop.  It's an uphill battle to get them back.

I'm not at all surprised. It's amazing to me how you function.