MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 7:51:15 GMT -5
Talked to my mom yesterday about the stuff for DS's party and just other chit chat. Found out that her two sisters who live near her (Aunt S and Aunt L) are looking for houses to rent together. I'm happy because they should have done that years ago. They each currently have their own homes. Aunt L is a widow (married my father's uncle - yes you read that right) with a 26-year old son (DC). Aunt S is single with no children. They are both in their 50s. When my mom divorced my ex step father and sold the house (about 12-13 yrs ago), she moved in with AS. She moved out a couple of times and then moved back in because it was just cheaper that way. AS started not paying some bills and Mom just started picking up the slack. First it was the cable, then slowly it became everything but the mortgage. The mortgage is like $500-600/month, so not even that much. Then AS lost her job. Didn't try hard to look for a new one and basically had my mom paying everything. She did that for a few years (and I told her to stop and move out countless times), then finally last year she moved in with a widow friend of hers who is financially stable and has a 4 bed house to herself. I found out yesterday that AS hadn't been paying the mortgage since Mom moved out!!!!!! LIKE WTF?!?!?!?!? And she got a new job last summer so it's not like she's still unemployed. AND she got a loan modification too!! So now she got a note on her door saying she's being foreclosed on. DUH!!!! I told Mom that won't bode well for her credit score so idk how she's going to be able to rent. Or maybe they take the average of her and AL's score? AL lived in a house that belonged to my dad's family so it is paid for. But Mom said she was in there a couple of weeks ago and it's like Hoarders in there. There was no place to sit. AL works a full time and part time job so is literally never home. DC only just started working full time but like my late uncle (and pretty much all the men in my father's family) he is a lazy, sexist butthole who refuses to do any cleaning or home maintenance. The only thing he pays is 1/2 the cable bill. I am completely SMH at all 3 but especially AS. Like how do you think it's okay to just not pay your mortgage? ?
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jul 6, 2016 8:01:12 GMT -5
I don't know, but lots of people do.
I don't get it.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 8:07:26 GMT -5
She's the "the Lord will provide" type. That thought process is only helpful IMO once you've done everything in your power to change something. It doesn't mean sit around doing nothing and wait for something great to just happen. No, the Lord is not paying your mortgage for you!
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jul 6, 2016 8:14:35 GMT -5
Sounds to me like the Lord DID provide. He provided a new job, a loan modification, and presumably the ability to write a check. Now it's time for her to do her part. Tell her that.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jul 6, 2016 8:15:06 GMT -5
Funny how the Lord provides for those who get off their ass and do something for themselves.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Jul 6, 2016 8:18:02 GMT -5
Yeah, reminds me of a couple of old jokes. The flood joke and the lottery joke.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Jul 6, 2016 11:09:58 GMT -5
She's the "the Lord will provide" type. That thought process is only helpful IMO once you've done everything in your power to change something. It doesn't mean sit around doing nothing and wait for something great to just happen. No, the Lord is not paying your mortgage for you! My ex's step mom was the same & it drove me bat shyt crazy. She went so far as to say that the Bible says women should not work outside the home. Not sure where she found that but she swore by it. Then had no problem mooching money off of us.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 6, 2016 11:17:48 GMT -5
I wish I was the type of person who didn't feel the need to pay my mortgages.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 11:32:44 GMT -5
I'm curious as to how this is all going to play out. My mom seems to think since the house hasn't been foreclosed on her that it won't be on AS's credit report. I said no, but the year or more of not paying the mortgage probably is!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 11:34:58 GMT -5
AS also has some kind of tumor on her jaw. It's been there and growing for at least 3-4 years now and I'll bet my pay check that she STILL hasn't gotten it looked at. She has the whole burying your head in the sand thing down pat.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Jul 6, 2016 11:49:11 GMT -5
Funny how the Lord provides for those who get off their ass and do something for themselves. G-d shows us where the door is but we still have to open it. A bout of homelessness would've done her a world of good
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jul 6, 2016 11:54:39 GMT -5
She's the "the Lord will provide" type. That thought process is only helpful IMO once you've done everything in your power to change something. It doesn't mean sit around doing nothing and wait for something great to just happen. No, the Lord is not paying your mortgage for you! And the Lord would probably say, "Pray to Me, but row away from the rocks." (With thanks to Hunter S. Thompson.)
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jul 6, 2016 11:56:18 GMT -5
Talked to my mom yesterday about the stuff for DS's party and just other chit chat. Found out that her two sisters who live near her (Aunt S and Aunt L) are looking for houses to rent together. I'm happy because they should have done that years ago. They each currently have their own homes. Aunt L is a widow (married my father's uncle - yes you read that right) with a 26-year old son (DC). Aunt S is single with no children. They are both in their 50s. When my mom divorced my ex step father and sold the house (about 12-13 yrs ago), she moved in with AS. She moved out a couple of times and then moved back in because it was just cheaper that way. AS started not paying some bills and Mom just started picking up the slack. First it was the cable, then slowly it became everything but the mortgage. The mortgage is like $500-600/month, so not even that much. Then AS lost her job. Didn't try hard to look for a new one and basically had my mom paying everything. She did that for a few years (and I told her to stop and move out countless times), then finally last year she moved in with a widow friend of hers who is financially stable and has a 4 bed house to herself. I found out yesterday that AS hadn't been paying the mortgage since Mom moved out!!!!!! LIKE WTF?!?!?!?!? And she got a new job last summer so it's not like she's still unemployed. AND she got a loan modification too!! So now she got a note on her door saying she's being foreclosed on. DUH!!!! I told Mom that won't bode well for her credit score so idk how she's going to be able to rent. Or maybe they take the average of her and AL's score? AL lived in a house that belonged to my dad's family so it is paid for. But Mom said she was in there a couple of weeks ago and it's like Hoarders in there. There was no place to sit. AL works a full time and part time job so is literally never home. DC only just started working full time but like my late uncle (and pretty much all the men in my father's family) he is a lazy, sexist butthole who refuses to do any cleaning or home maintenance. The only thing he pays is 1/2 the cable bill. I am completely SMH at all 3 but especially AS. Like how do you think it's okay to just not pay your mortgage ?? Nothing wrong with that. No blood relation.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 12:01:29 GMT -5
No blood relation but just creepy given the age difference and .... I mean, she couldn't have picked a husband from a different family?!?!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 6, 2016 12:13:34 GMT -5
No blood relation but just creepy given the age difference and .... I mean, she couldn't have picked a husband from a different family?!?! Eh,that's just not that unusual. On one side of my family, my cousin married his stepsister. On the other side of my family, my great-grandfather's first wife died; he married his wife's sister who is my great-grandmother. Both wives had children. So, my grandmother's older sister is both her cousin and her half sister.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 6, 2016 12:20:30 GMT -5
I wish I was the type of person who didn't feel the need to pay my mortgages. Yep. I'm often envious of people who seem to be free of some of the weird and overwhelming compulsions I feel so strongly - like the compulsion to pay my bills. Reminds me of how my sister and I sometimes marvel at the people who aren't germophobes. I'm less inhibited by it than she is, but still have some general uptightness about public places. One day I was in an airport restroom - which is objectively one of the filthiest places on earth - and watched a woman casually toss her white jacket onto the stall floor, use the restroom and put the jacket right back on a few minutes later. I'm itching a little thinking of that jacket and how I would have had to burn it (even ignoring the fact that it was WHITE!!!) There must be a great deal of freedom in being one of those people that doesn't break out in hives at the thought of not paying a bill or rolling around on the airport restroom floor.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jul 6, 2016 12:20:52 GMT -5
No blood relation but just creepy given the age difference and .... I mean, she couldn't have picked a husband from a different family?!?! Gotcha. It probably happens more than we know.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 6, 2016 12:33:48 GMT -5
I wish I was the type of person who didn't feel the need to pay my mortgages. Yep. I'm often envious of people who seem to be free of some of the weird and overwhelming compulsions I feel so strongly - like the compulsion to pay my bills. Reminds me of how my sister and I sometimes marvel at the people who aren't germophobes. I'm less inhibited by it than she is, but still have some general uptightness about public places. One day I was in an airport restroom - which is objectively one of the filthiest places on earth - and watched a women casually toss her white jacket onto the stall floor, use the restroom and put it back on a few minutes later. I'm itching a little thinking of that jacket and how I would have had to burn it (even ignoring the fact that it was WHITE!!!) There must be a great deal of freedom in being one of those people that doesn't break out in hives at the thought of not paying a bill or rolling around on the airport restroom floor. A few years ago, when my oldest just got out of diapers, we were out and he had to go to the bathroom. The ONLY one I could find was in McD right next to the airport. I had him, my 2 yr old and an infant. Not only I was almost gagging bc I had to put a car seat on that bathroom floor, but while I was helping my oldest, my 2 yr old touched EVERYTHING in that stall. I mean EVERYTHING. The toilet, the walls, the flour, the baby changing table. The ONLY thing that prevented me from puking was my mortal fear of throwing up. When we got out I wrapped his hands in wipes and told him not to touch anything until we got home and I could strip him down and wash everything. The car seat was power washed after that a well. Yes, there are many times I wished I was a lot less uptight about germs and not paying bills and not saving. Oh well....
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jul 6, 2016 12:36:28 GMT -5
I wish I was the type of person who didn't feel the need to pay my mortgages. Yep. I'm often envious of people who seem to be free of some of the weird and overwhelming compulsions I feel so strongly - like the compulsion to pay my bills. Reminds me of how my sister and I sometimes marvel at the people who aren't germophobes. I'm less inhibited by it than she is, but still have some general uptightness about public places. One day I was in an airport restroom - which is objectively one of the filthiest places on earth - and watched a women casually toss her white jacket onto the stall floor, use the restroom and put it back on a few minutes later. I'm itching a little thinking of that jacket and how I would have had to burn it (even ignoring the fact that it was WHITE!!!) There must be a great deal of freedom in being one of those people that doesn't break out in hives at the thought of not paying a bill or rolling around on the airport restroom floor. I'm seriously sitting here at my desk with my mouth gaping wide open. I think I would have thrown up right there.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 12:47:42 GMT -5
I had to change DS on a bathroom floor before. Meh. I just put my coat on the floor - inside down - and changed him on top. Then I stripped naked and rubbed the inside of the coat all over my body and licked everything in the stall before I left. Easy peasy.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 6, 2016 12:47:46 GMT -5
Yep. I'm often envious of people who seem to be free of some of the weird and overwhelming compulsions I feel so strongly - like the compulsion to pay my bills. Reminds me of how my sister and I sometimes marvel at the people who aren't germophobes. I'm less inhibited by it than she is, but still have some general uptightness about public places. One day I was in an airport restroom - which is objectively one of the filthiest places on earth - and watched a women casually toss her white jacket onto the stall floor, use the restroom and put it back on a few minutes later. I'm itching a little thinking of that jacket and how I would have had to burn it (even ignoring the fact that it was WHITE!!!) There must be a great deal of freedom in being one of those people that doesn't break out in hives at the thought of not paying a bill or rolling around on the airport restroom floor. I'm seriously sitting here at my desk with my mouth gaping wide open. I think I would have thrown up right there. At the time it was pretty traumatic - evidenced by the fact that I'm still talking about it 15 years later - but as Lena describes in her post, that memory has since been pushed aside by the horribly disgusting things my boys have done... Similar to Lena, as a mom I quickly discovered when you're wrestling more than one at a time, the one that you're not wrestling will manage to touch EVERYTHING in the bathroom, down to literally giving the toilet bowl a bear hug. You are then grappling with the ugly reality that while you're helping one, the other has contracted the Ebola strain of E Coli and that within seconds he will have his grubby little hands in his mouth and will then come lurching towards you wanting to give you a big, wet kiss. Oh, and have I described that my oldest went though an almost yearlong phase where he was obsessed with garbage cans? No joke. He was fascinated with garbage receptacles of all shapes and sizes. From the communal ones in the alley behind the house that 3-4 houses shared, to the silvery ones in the public bathrooms, to dumpsters along our walk to the park... all garbage cans needed to be greeted, patted (yes, you read that right), talked to and examined for as long as possible before mom hurried us along. This is how I knew God was punishing me for something.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Jul 6, 2016 13:21:02 GMT -5
We used to rent 2 rooms from someone who owned a 3 bedroom condo. We moved out long before the mortgage bubble popped but living in the subprime mecca of the US when it did things got real ugly. Our former landlord had fallen into the trap a lot of people did as she treated her house like an ATM. She did some kind of refinancing where she got a good chunk of money and it was essentially a no doc loan or someone lied on the loan and no one cared to verify the info. Once the bubble popped she stopped paying her mortgage for a few years and she had already spent the money on who knows what while she was less than a decade from retirement. In the end she lost the place and she complained about how the city was screwing her over because the place was price controlled by the city who dictated they could only sell for so much and you could only make so much to buy in. Apparently when the times were good the city wasn't paying attention or rather didn't care and some of these units went for way more than they should have been allowed to. In her mind she thought she could still sell for that even though the bubble had popped.
Here's the kicker - the company she got the loan from went under and documents either went missing, were shredded or never actually existed so she got out of having to pay any of the tens of thousands she got from the refinance. In her mind she did absolutely nothing wrong and we found out later she did the same thing with her car and expected the same outcome except that she should get to keep her car. She had no problem signing up for the loans and even though multiple people are to blame in the process she played the victim card to the very end. I take comfort in knowing that karma won out because she now lives in a not so nice area where she rents and will have to work until her last breath because during all of this she was taking early withdrawals from a 401K from a previous employer and has nothing.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 6, 2016 13:25:28 GMT -5
I had to change DS on a bathroom floor before. Meh. I just put my coat on the floor - inside down - and changed him on top. Then I stripped naked and rubbed the inside of the coat all over my body and licked everything in the stall before I left. Easy peasy. I cannot talk to you anymore.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 6, 2016 13:26:51 GMT -5
My sister - who is way more germophobic than I am - married a guy who is totally and completely unbothered by germs and the norms of personal hygiene. He doesn't know and doesn't care. It can be really funny to watch the two of them interact. The best clash of cultures ever happened when they had spent the weekend at the vacation home of a friend. The friend asked them to please clean the house before they left. Now, the house wasn't particularly clean when they got there - looked like it had been used by several people prior - but it was a reasonable request since the friend wasn't charging them anything to stay there. My sis started cleaning one part of the house and her DH said he'd clean the bathroom. When sis went back to ask DH a question, she walked in on him kneeling in front of the toilet with his arm down all the way inside the bowl cleaning it by hand with a sponge... she freaked out... Sis: OMG!!! Why do you have your entire arm inside that nasty toilet water? Why wouldn't you use the toilet brush with a handle?!? Holy crap - is your cheek resting against the toilet while you're at it? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Hubby: It's no biggie. There were some streaks under the water and I just figured it would be easiest to scrub them off with this sponge. Sis: You mean the sponge we use to wash dishes with? Hubby: Who cares? A sponge is a sponge. Sis: I'm trying not to barf here. You are going to need to scrub yourself off in bleach before you get near me again. I'm not sure that hand, arm and cheek are ever going to be clean enough that I will want to touch it. Hubby: What, you mean this hand? At this point, he raises his hand out of the bowl and lurches towards her, dripping toilet water. She shrieks and runs away, while he chases her around the house. When she told me this story, she was laughing and heaving a little at the same time.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 6, 2016 13:40:11 GMT -5
I'm not a germophobe but my aunt fixed something in the back of the toilet (the part with the ball and tubes - yeah I should totally be a plumber, lol) and she didn't wash her hands after. BLECH!!!!
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 6, 2016 13:50:30 GMT -5
I'm not a germophobe but my aunt fixed something in the back of the toilet (the part with the ball and tubes - yeah I should totally be a plumber, lol) and she didn't wash her hands after. BLECH!!!! The back of the tank doesn't bother me. Last year on Mother's Day my family had taken me to a very fancy restaurant, one of the best in town. Wonderful place... even the bathrooms were over the top glamorous with individual, elegant rooms for each toilet. But I noticed that the toilet was running when I entered and still running after a reasonable time. Normally, I'd just go let someone know but they were so busy for Mother's Day I knew it would probably be hours before they got a minute to look at it and it could even be the next day. I hate the idea of all that water being wasted. So I popped the lid off the tank and had a look. Very easy fix - the chain had gotten an extra wrap around the lever so the flap wasn't going down all the way; I unwrapped the extra wrap, bent/shortened one of the links so there wasn't enough slack in the line for it to tangle like that in the future, popped the lid back on and it was all good. Of course I washed my hands. But I was able to do that while in a nice dress and heels, nothing nasty touched me. And my hands only touched water from the upper tank, so not a huge deal. But it's a little funny that I'm willing to do that, but I'm such a germophobe that I flush the toilet with my toe so I don't have to touch the disgusting handle that other people have touched after they've used the bathroom.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Jul 6, 2016 14:13:36 GMT -5
I am not a germophobe. I clean toilets like your BIL. The wet toilet brush dripping into it's container freaks me out more than the toilet bowl. I just assume mold will grow in there. Mold is way scarier than toilet germs IMO.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jul 6, 2016 14:22:33 GMT -5
I had to change DS on a bathroom floor before. Meh. I just put my coat on the floor - inside down - and changed him on top. Then I stripped naked and rubbed the inside of the coat all over my body and licked everything in the stall before I left. Easy peasy. You are NEVER coming over to my house again! <<unfriends Jen then bleaches computer>> I'm not a germaphobe at all. I can guess how it will play out so make sure you always have a very tiny apt.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 6, 2016 14:28:09 GMT -5
OMG, I am weirder than I thought!!
I clean our toilets the same way Milee's BIL. Cleaning it with a brush would not be clean enough for me. And I do use a sponge - that goes straight into the garbage after.
I used to work with a woman who would bring all sorts of paperwork with her into the bathroom, drop it near the toilet while she did her business, get out of the stall, splash her hands with water and go on her merry way. I avoided her office and tried to deal with her by email as much as I could
Going back to OP - my IL"s just refinanced their house last week. The house that they bought for $25K in 1977. Back then they "borrowed" $5K downpayment which they never paid back and have been refinancing the house every since. The current refinance is a 15yr mortgage and they also got $20K HELOC bc they need to buy a car and have no other money. They are 78 yrs old. Between draining their house for the last 40 yrs and declaring 3 BKs - nothing they do surprises me anymore.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 6, 2016 15:04:40 GMT -5
I used to work with a woman who would bring all sorts of paperwork with her into the bathroom, drop it near the toilet while she did her business, get out of the stall, splash her hands with water and go on her merry way. I avoided her office and tried to deal with her by email as much as I could Years ago, when the Accounting rules and literature came in huge, bound books I had a boss that walked into my office and got really upset that I was reading one of the tomes that contained FASBs (accounting rules). He asked what I was doing, implying I was wasting time. When I explained that I was researching how to account for our foreign subsidiary's very complicated foreign currency transaction, he get even more upset. According to him, it was wasting time to read that sort of thing during regular office/work hours. When I asked him when he read accounting literature, he explained in very graphic details how he saves up his questions and takes the Accounting books into the bathroom with him to read during those long times he's sitting on the throne. Remember - WE SHARED ALL THESE BOOKS SINCE THE OFFICE ONLY HAD ONE SET - and I realized that the book I was currently reading had probably been in the bathroom with him many times... I have no idea what the OP was anymore and will always think of this as the "what's grosser than gross" thread.
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