cheap vs. frugal?

[Deleted]

What have you seen that gave you the opinion someone was cheap?

Is there a difference between being cheap or being frugal?

A woman in our office is always willing to take treats that someone is sharing. For example: I brought a box of new type of granola bar, told the people I work with they can try one if they want, she was the first one there. Other people bring baked goods or appetizers and she is more than happy to help herself.

One time I got a free tank top for ordering something, I don't wear tank tops, so I asked if she would wear it. She said yes and took it.

Last week she brought an office treat, and put a price on it. If anyone wanted to try it, they had to pay her $1.00 each.


WTF?

(I am too generous.)

[Regis]

Is there a difference between being cheap or being frugal?
 Yes


A woman in our office is always willing to take treats that someone is sharing. For example: I brought a box of new type of granola bar, told the people I work with they can try one if they want, she was the first one there. Other people bring baked goods or appetizers and she is more than happy to help herself.
 Frugal - you offered for free and she accepted.


One time I got a free tank top for ordering something, I don't wear tank tops, so I asked if she would wear it. She said yes and took it.
 Frugal - you offered for free and she accepted.




Last week she brought an office treat, and put a price on it. If anyone wanted to try it, they had to pay her $1.00 each.
 Cheap.

[Apple]

To me, cheap is when your "frugal" actions begin to negatively affect other people.  Or sometimes just always to your advantage in a weird way.

Example of the second sentence since it can be hard to describe...

Frugal-- You invite friend out to lunch and have a bogo free coupon.  You use the coupon and then split the cost of the non-free meal.  

Cheap-- You invite friend out to lunch and have bogo free coupon.  You use coupon for your meal and make friend pay for their meal.

You could argue that the action did not negatively affect the second person because if you didn't have the coupon they would still be paying for their own meal, but it's still cheap to do so.

To me, being frugal does not have negative connotations, but being cheap does.

This coworker is definitely cheap.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jun 12, 2016 13:09:36 GMT -5 @bluester said:

What have you seen that gave you the opinion someone was cheap?

Is there a difference between being cheap or being frugal?

A woman in our office is always willing to take treats that someone is sharing. For example: I brought a box of new type of granola bar, told the people I work with they can try one if they want, she was the first one there. Other people bring baked goods or appetizers and she is more than happy to help herself.

One time I got a free tank top for ordering something, I don't wear tank tops, so I asked if she would wear it. She said yes and took it.

Last week she brought an office treat, and put a price on it. If anyone wanted to try it, they had to pay her $1.00 each.


WTF?

(I am too generous.)

No, you are nice and willing to share.

Your coworker overstepped the frugal and went into tasteless mode when she started charging people for her treats. Nothing wrong with it, or even unethical. It just says "I have so little class that I would bring in food for my coworkers and make extra money while I am making money on my real job's time."

She may be proud of her efforts to make/save money, which is fine. But the line between being lauded for your efforts and being laughed at for looking foolish can be easily crossed.

[Deleted]

I will not pay for her treats. I will go without.

I am making cupcakes, but I am sure I will be nice and share them with coworkers. :-) (That will stop me from eating all of them.)

[Deleted]

I wish people charged for all the fattening crap they brought into work because then I would go without.  I'm not sure if that would be me being cheap or frugal, but it would result in me being skinny. 

[Anne_in_VA]

Frugal = being thrifty with no negative connotations.
Cheap = not spending money with negative connotations.  I used to know someone who had two houses (both were pretty expensive homes on the beach) and she'd buy Christmas and b'day gifts for friends and family at the dollar store.  That's cheap! 

[tloonya]

Jun 12, 2016 13:15:01 GMT -5 Regis said:

Is there a difference between being cheap or being frugal?
 Yes


A woman in our office is always willing to take treats that someone is sharing. For example: I brought a box of new type of granola bar, told the people I work with they can try one if they want, she was the first one there. Other people bring baked goods or appetizers and she is more than happy to help herself.
 Frugal - you offered for free and she accepted.


One time I got a free tank top for ordering something, I don't wear tank tops, so I asked if she would wear it. She said yes and took it.
 Frugal - you offered for free and she accepted.




Last week she brought an office treat, and put a price on it. If anyone wanted to try it, they had to pay her $1.00 each.
 Cheap.

Or fund raiser?

[tloonya]

Jun 12, 2016 13:20:26 GMT -5 Apple said:

To me, cheap is when your "frugal" actions begin to negatively affect other people.  Or sometimes just always to your advantage in a weird way.

Example of the second sentence since it can be hard to describe...

Frugal-- You invite friend out to lunch and have a bogo free coupon.  You use the coupon and then split the cost of the non-free meal.  

Cheap-- You invite friend out to lunch and have bogo free coupon.  You use coupon for your meal and make friend pay for their meal.

You could argue that the action did not negatively affect the second person because if you didn't have the coupon they would still be paying for their own meal, but it's still cheap to do so.

To me, being frugal does not have negative connotations, but being cheap does.

This coworker is definitely cheap.

I don't think frugal going out to eat. Bringing their own lunch and taking it with to the lunch out with co-workers.

[tloonya]

Jun 12, 2016 14:14:44 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

Frugal = being thrifty with no negative connotations.
Cheap = not spending money with negative connotations.  I used to know someone who had two houses (both were pretty expensive homes on the beach) and she'd buy Christmas and b'day gifts for friends and family at the dollar store.  That's cheap! 

To me it is frugal. Cheap would not buy anything with excuse like 'I had to spend money on xxx so...sorry. Whats for dinner?'

Some cheap can re-gift something more valuable with straight face and spend nothing on it.

But going to wish.com might get you some $1 gift and you will never know...

[dannylion]

A friend's next-door neighbor was either cheap or stupid, probably both.

He was incensed because people cut through his yard to get from the street to the open space behind his house (there was a paved path for that purpose 3 houses up the street).  Other neighbors had solved similar problems with fences. He was too cheap to pay for a fence, so he tried to create a "fence" for free by digging up poison ivy from the woods and planting it where a fence would be.  His idea didn't work.  The transplanted poison ivy didn't survive, and he spent a long time (and probably money) dealing with the aftereffects of handling so much poison ivy. He eventually put in a fence.

His next great money-saving idea came to him when the local grocery store offered a huge loss-leader discount on canned tuna. He purchased several cases and ate tuna 3 meals a day for literally months. Gave himself mercury poisoning.  Had to spend more money for medical treatment.

He was not too poor to pay for fences or food, he was just cheap.  And stupid. 

My friend moved not long after that, so I have no idea what eventually happened to him.

Bluester is probably too generous but is a better (and probably happier) human being than the cheap colleague who charged for her treats.

 

[giramomma]

Here's cheap:

One of DD's friends wants to take lessons from me.

Her parents have a full size violin. She's probably a half size. Her parents won't rent an instrument that fits her. (She likely needs a half like my DD.), due to the cost (under $25/month).

She doesn't want to do piano lessons. Guess what lessons she's taking? Piano. Even the mom remarked that she's expecting an epic meltdown from the child this week when they start lessons. (They child hasn't been told yet.)

Other examples of cheap.
I traded lessons with another family for after school care. As soon as they family could no longer do after school care, they decided to stop taking lessons. No warning. No hints. The student was continuing to show interest.

This family also drove 22 hours straight to avoid sleeping overnight in a hotel. Parents took turns.

The oldest was in scouts and would have opportunity to things at a discount/free, like skiing. This dad was scoutmaster, and would insist on bringing his other children (not girl scouts) to the activities so they could get in free. Other families were not bringing siblings and getting them in for free.

The girls often showed up on boy scout events that involved food, even when it wasn't appropriate. That was an extra meal the family got for free.

[Deleted]

I'm almost always frugal when I go out to eat. I drink enough cola, etc. all day long. Substituting free water is a no-brainer. DH has started doing it as well because he drinks maybe three or four sips of whatever.

I always have a Ruby Tuesday's coupon tucked away in my purse.  They have saturated the market with them so why not?

I do return things.  I bought the wrong size pillows to make pillows for the sunroom.  The return somehow got moved to my trunk where I forgot about it.  I noticed it today so I looked at the receipt.  I had 10 more days left on a 90-day return policy so I returned them.  They were new in the package, by the way. 

And I do stock up.  I bought three packages of hot dogs because they are still at Memorial Day sale prices.  I froze two of them.  Those will last us a long time, but it saved us about $6 total.  We like expensive hot dogs. 

"Cheap" for me is when you won't spend the $$$ even if you should.  DH and I wanted a new mattress/boxspring for the bedroom.  I took advantage of every discount I could find (frugal).  But we bought a good mattress instead of a cheap one that wouldn't last very long and wouldn't provide the firmness he needs for his back.

[Apple]

Jun 12, 2016 14:25:07 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Jun 12, 2016 13:20:26 GMT -5 Apple said:

To me, cheap is when your "frugal" actions begin to negatively affect other people.  Or sometimes just always to your advantage in a weird way.

Example of the second sentence since it can be hard to describe...

Frugal-- You invite friend out to lunch and have a bogo free coupon.  You use the coupon and then split the cost of the non-free meal.  

Cheap-- You invite friend out to lunch and have bogo free coupon.  You use coupon for your meal and make friend pay for their meal.

You could argue that the action did not negatively affect the second person because if you didn't have the coupon they would still be paying for their own meal, but it's still cheap to do so.

To me, being frugal does not have negative connotations, but being cheap does.

This coworker is definitely cheap.

I don't think frugal going out to eat. Bringing their own lunch and taking it with to the lunch out with co-workers.

That was just one example, and I think going out can be done frugally.  I have brought my lunch to work every day for over 15 years, so I know that's much less expensive, but I didn't mention coworkers, just getting together with a friend.

There are some things I don't cook (ethnic foods for which I don't have ingredients readily available), so if I have a bogo free coupon for a restaurant, and go at lunch (usually cheaper with same amount of food), I consider that frugal--as long as it's not a daily occurrence or something.  

[Apple]

Another food related...

I work in locally now.  My job site has a really nice park with a pond, and when we were little, we used to ride a train to this pond often (it was free), bring a picnic lunch along with some bread, and toss it to the ducks/squirrels.  I also did this with my son when he was little.  The train is shut down now and the park is no longer open to the public.

For DS's graduation yesterday, I got permission to bring the extended family on site and we had a picnic lunch at this park (sandwiches, chips, homemade potato salad, homemade baked beans, homemade cookies, etc).

My niece got to run around and tire herself out before a long drive in the car, easily watched by us when we weren't running around with her.  Weather was perfect, and we had lots of shade.  Plenty of leftovers we sent home with everyone who could take them.

I thought that was pretty frugal (and smart, considering a young kid and most restaurants would be reserved for parties, and the public park would be crowded).  And, I didn't have to do it at my house (less room for running around).

Cheap would have been doing this in my work's lunch room.

[tloonya]

Jun 12, 2016 16:32:46 GMT -5 Apple said:

Jun 12, 2016 14:25:07 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I don't think frugal going out to eat. Bringing their own lunch and taking it with to the lunch out with co-workers.

That was just one example, and I think going out can be done frugally.  I have brought my lunch to work every day for over 15 years, so I know that's much less expensive, but I didn't mention coworkers, just getting together with a friend.

There are some things I don't cook (ethnic foods for which I don't have ingredients readily available), so if I have a bogo free coupon for a restaurant, and go at lunch (usually cheaper with same amount of food), I consider that frugal--as long as it's not a daily occurrence or something.  

I don't see how going out ever is cheaper than packing your own.

Unless you are packing foe gras sandwiches vs eating at McD!

And what do you mean no ingredients? Nowadays I can order

anything online. And my city has stores from all over the world

ingredients. ?

[Apple]

Jun 12, 2016 17:02:32 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Jun 12, 2016 16:32:46 GMT -5 Apple said:

That was just one example, and I think going out can be done frugally.  I have brought my lunch to work every day for over 15 years, so I know that's much less expensive, but I didn't mention coworkers, just getting together with a friend.

There are some things I don't cook (ethnic foods for which I don't have ingredients readily available), so if I have a bogo free coupon for a restaurant, and go at lunch (usually cheaper with same amount of food), I consider that frugal--as long as it's not a daily occurrence or something.  

I don't see how going out ever is cheaper than packing your own.

Unless you are packing foe gras sandwiches vs eating at McD!

And what do you mean no ingredients? Nowadays I can order

anything online. And my city has stores from all over the world

ingredients. ?

My small town doesn't, and there are some fresh food items I wouldn't want to order online.  On the rare occasion I go out to eat, I order things I don't have the time, skills, equipment or ingredients to make myself.  Foie gras is one of those things I'd pay for someone else to make, then serve me (my son actually ordered this the last time we went out to eat, but that was admittedly not a frugal meal at all).

[suesinfl]

drove 22 hours straight to avoid sleeping overnight in a hotel. Parents took turns.


I do not think that is necessarily being cheap, unless they were too cheap to pay for a room. I have done that several times due to the time constraints.

[tloonya]

Jun 12, 2016 17:11:36 GMT -5 Apple said:

Jun 12, 2016 17:02:32 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I don't see how going out ever is cheaper than packing your own.

Unless you are packing foe gras sandwiches vs eating at McD!

And what do you mean no ingredients? Nowadays I can order

anything online. And my city has stores from all over the world

ingredients. ?

My small town doesn't, and there are some fresh food items I wouldn't want to order online.  On the rare occasion I go out to eat, I order things I don't have the time, skills, equipment or ingredients to make myself.  Foie gras is one of those things I'd pay for someone else to make, then serve me (my son actually ordered this the last time we went out to eat, but that was admittedly not a frugal meal at all).

who is frugal here?

who is frugal here? HUH

[Artemis Windsong]

Cheap is eating free lunch offered at the park when you're capable of providing your own lunch.

Frugal is buying wisely.  Not spending on unneeded impluse items.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I used to be cheap. Now I'm frugal. The correlation may be that I used to be poor (actually living below the poverty line; qualified for EITC and WIC). Now I'm middle class. 

My BIL & SIL do get annoyed when I don't want to eat out because it wasn't planned for. 


A co-worker put a coffee pot in the staff room. After a few week's he put a sign on it. "So & So's coffee. You're welcome to share, but bring your own."  He is kind of an ass in general. 

[giramomma]

Jun 12, 2016 17:14:50 GMT -5 suesinfl said:

drove 22 hours straight to avoid sleeping overnight in a hotel. Parents took turns.


I do not think that is necessarily being cheap, unless they were too cheap to pay for a room. I have done that several times due to the time constraints.

The dad was too cheap to pay for a room.

The mom told me afterwards, that she was embarrassed showing up on a relative's door step early in the morning (think 8ish) without having a real chance to freshen up (wash face, brush teeth).  Frankly, I don't blame her.

[zibazinski]

We drove straight through with kids bcuz it was easier traveling with them while they were mostly asleep. We were going to family and she knew we'd be coming early and why. She had breakfast ready for kids and a bed waiting for us.

[Deleted]

Jun 12, 2016 21:41:59 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I used to be cheap. Now I'm frugal. The correlation may be that I used to be poor (actually living below the poverty line; qualified for EITC and WIC). Now I'm middle class. 

My BIL & SIL do get annoyed when I don't want to eat out because it wasn't planned for. 


A co-worker put a coffee pot in the staff room. After a few week's he put a sign on it. "So & So's coffee. You're welcome to share, but bring your own."  He is kind of an ass in general. 

Don't most staffroom coffee pots work like this? It gets old providing all of the coffee for a lot of people, particularly if there are two or three pots a day like there are at school. I don't drink coffee, but there used to be a similar sign in our break room. Now it is strictly k-cups, which people keep in their rooms.

[Deleted]

My friend owns a hair salon and started a program for underprivileged teenagers with low self-esteem. She will give them free makeovers. School guidance counselors and school psychiatrists refer them. It is only for seventh and eight graders. It all works on donations to the program.

Cheap 40 year old I know asked me if I could get my friend to give her a free makeover. She was serious.

Umm, no. You and your husband both work full-time jobs and make good money. Pay for your own hairstyle.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jun 12, 2016 21:41:59 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

A co-worker put a coffee pot in the staff room. After a few week's he put a sign on it. "So & So's coffee. You're welcome to share, but bring your own."  He is kind of an ass in general. 

I don't think this is cheap.  Coffee is expensive and it sounds like he is providing the pot, but you need to bring your own coffee.

We used to alternate bringing in cans of coffee in one lab I worked in.  Same difference.

[zibazinski]

Jun 13, 2016 7:18:40 GMT -5 @bluester said:

My friend owns a hair salon and started a program for underprivileged teenagers with low self-esteem. She will give them free makeovers. School guidance counselors and school psychiatrists refer them. It is only for seventh and eight graders. It all works on donations to the program.

Cheap 40 year old I know asked me if I could get my friend to give her a free makeover. She was serious.

Umm, no. You and your husband both work full-time jobs and make good money. Pay for your own hairstyle.

What a nice thing she does.

[Deleted]

Jun 12, 2016 22:09:41 GMT -5 giramomma said:

The mom told me afterwards, that she was embarrassed showing up on a relative's door step early in the morning (think 8ish) without having a real chance to freshen up (wash face, brush teeth).  Frankly, I don't blame her.

My parents did that- straight through from Ohio to the Outer Banks. Ugh. We were all wasted by the time we got there. And did I mention the car had no A/C? In fairness there were 5 kids and we'd have needed at least 3 hotel rooms.

On the subject of cheap coworkers: I joined a 5-person consulting firm and immediately one of the guys asked if I wanted to split the cost of an office microwave. The others had had no interest. Of course, I said. Microwaves are cheap.

As soon as we moved it in, the others started using it.

When I left the guy who'd bought it with me offered to pay me for my half. I said it wasn't necessary!

[Deleted]

I prefer to drive straight thru if possible, when there is nothing I want to see on the way. It's less about cheap than prioritizing, time and $.

And 5 kids need 3 rooms? 

[Apple]

Jun 13, 2016 8:06:44 GMT -5 oped said:

I prefer to drive straight thru if possible, when there is nothing I want to see on the way. It's less about cheap than prioritizing, time and $.

And 5 kids need 3 rooms? 

I was thinking the same thing... I was one of five kids and we never had more than one hotel room. If we didn't want to share the bed,we slept on the floor. We rarely stayed in hotels though.