Anyone getting graduation fatigue?

[debthaven]

Here most HSs don't even do graduation! They take the Baccalaureate, find out if they passed, and receive their HS diploma / written Bac results in the self-addressed, stamped envelope they provided at the beginning of the year. It's pretty sad!

My DS1 went to, and my DS3 currently goes to, an International Lycee, and they do have a graduation. It's seems pretty low-key compared to the US. They had a Senior Prom two weeks ago. They have a real graduation ceremony with caps and gowns (by nationality, and even that takes hours). That is SUPER rare here for HS. There is a graduation dinner the night before, also by nationality. They have a "lock down" night OUTSIDE school, the night after the last day of class, before "Senior Day" at school.

Nobody has graduation parties here ... the family generally goes out to dinner that night.

I think there's often a lot of fuss and expense in the US, from what I read, especially with prom dresses, salons, limos, etc. But I agree with SS, these kids have worked hard for 13 years to get to this point. To them it's the beginning of "real life", and it is a rite of passage, and should be celebrated, although there's no need to go crazy.

We bought DS3 a new suit, shirt, belt, bow tie and dress shoes for Prom ... he'll wear them again to graduation in July, and then again to DS1's wedding in Sept. So I figure even if he outgrows some of it, with three events in four months, we'll have gotten our money's worth.

ETA: DS3 invited 6 friends to sleep over after Prom, to celebrate his 18th birthday which was the previous week. DH and I were both in a play that night, plus we don't have a big enough car, so we paid $75 for a Uber minivan to bring them all back here. But I consider that a birthday expense, not a graduation expense.

However, we were shocked when we received the invitation for the graduation dinner ... $70 pp! So there's that expense too ($210). Most of the parents were very upset at the price, but nobody wants their kid to be the only one not going, so everybody is going.

So between the prom tix, DS3's suit/clothes, and the graduation dinner, I guess DS3's graduation will have cost us about $600 .

[tallguy]

I go the other way.  Didn't matter a damn bit to me.  It's not like it was some tremendous accomplishment.  The ONLY reason I went through with high school graduation was because my mother and grandmother were going to cry if I didn't.  When I was asked when my college graduation was, I told them, "It was last month."  Hey, I went through that crap for them once.  No way was I going to do it again!  

That being said, I did go to my kids' graduations.  And I will grant that for those kids who had to struggle and overcome a lot to make it through that it can be worth celebrating.  But for me?  No. 

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2016 5:11:42 GMT -5 beergut said:

Jun 1, 2016 20:24:15 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

It's NOT about gifts. It's about having extended family cheer at the top of their lungs for you and swarm you and hug you and congratulate you. YDS will have just DH, ODS, and I. Kinda sucks, IMHO.

That does suck. 

I had relatives fly in from out of town, out of state, had at least 20 people at the HS ceremony, and over 100 at the party following. 

Granted, I come from a big family, but they always showed up for everyone's graduation. 

Wow. I was in a class of 600. I think everyone was limited to 4 tickets which luckily covered my immediate family. So YDS's guest list does not seem bad at all to me.

I don't even remember what my celebration was. Probably dinner with the family at a restaurant I liked perhaps followed by having a graduation cake from our local bakery.

[beergut]

Jun 3, 2016 2:16:38 GMT -5 Opti said:

Jun 2, 2016 5:11:42 GMT -5 beergut said:

That does suck. 

I had relatives fly in from out of town, out of state, had at least 20 people at the HS ceremony, and over 100 at the party following. 

Granted, I come from a big family, but they always showed up for everyone's graduation. 

Wow. I was in a class of 600. I think everyone was limited to 4 tickets which luckily covered my immediate family. So YDS's guest list does not seem bad at all to me.

I don't even remember what my celebration was. Probably dinner with the family at a restaurant I liked perhaps followed by having a graduation cake from our local bakery.

My brother and I are the oldest in our generation, so the first to graduate from high school, so I think that is why a lot of family showed up. Our commencement was in a college auditorium, and we had 183 people in my graduating class, so there was enough room for people to bring family and friends. It was a formal affair, I still remember the senior counselor telling us in no uncertain terms that this wasn't for us, this was for our families, and they would have no problem whatsoever pulling us from the ceremony and mailing us our diploma if we did anything to embarrass ourselves in front of our families, our school, or the bishop of Dallas, who was at the commencement. 

After the ceremony, we had a party at my parent's house, where they set up a big tent in the backyard so people could eat both inside and outside and enjoy the nice weather. 

Later that night, I went back to the school with friends, and the graduating class had a casino party that lasted until 6 AM. They did this to make sure we wouldn't go out and get drunk partying right after graduating. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Jun 1, 2016 21:36:20 GMT -5 @rockit said:

High School Graduation is way overblown. HS graduation is an expectation for most of these kids, so I am not sure why the massive celebrations occur. Seems like celebration should be for College Graduation. 

I know my daughter's boyfriends family was mortified that my entire family had not flown across country for my daughter's HS graduation. Huh? What, Why? It is not like she had any other option but to graduate    

My family mantra: If you do what is expected of you, you may go quietly into your future without family interference. If you mess up however, hell and damnation is rained down on you 

Seriously! and what's with the signs in the yard about it?    I was going to answer that I have Narcissism Fatigue.  What our generation did with barely any notice or hoopla at all is treated similarly to a national holiday for families of today.  My God how many kudos and celebrations do  kids have to have?  And why?  Are you not sure your little one's are special enough that you need everybody to fawn over them constantly?   Aren't the over the top birthday parties, have to be there at every game, recital, lavish them with gifts at Christmas/Holidays, over the top weddings, etc. not enough?  I wish people would at least do it amongst their own families without trying to shake down every neighbor, relative, friend, co-worker and person they passed on the street for more to celebrate their little darlings. 

But college graduates do deserve the kudos and parties.  Diplomas are expensive and it involves more school.      LOL! 

[Deleted]

We're the rich relatives on DH's side so we just got yet another HS graduation invite for a great-niece he's never met, halfway across the country. Sigh. The gift card will be in the mail. They'd be stunned as hell if we showed up.

My parents, God bless 'em, got to every HS and college graduation for the 13 grandkids, even after they turned 80 and some involved travel- from their home in SC to NJ, Des Moines and TX, for example.

I'm not a big fan of kiddie graduations. DS hated middle school and skipped his. the principal heard he was skipping graduation and called me. You'd have thought DS was planning to burn the school down. I refrained from telling him that many people in my family went on to higher education after middle school.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Jun 3, 2016 17:07:43 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

We're the rich relatives on DH's side so we just got yet another HS graduation invite for a great-niece he's never met, halfway across the country. Sigh. The gift card will be in the mail. They'd be stunned as hell if we showed up.

My parents, God bless 'em, got to every HS and college graduation for the 13 grandkids, even after they turned 80 and some involved travel- from their home in SC to NJ, Des Moines and TX, for example.

I'm not a big fan of kiddie graduations. DS hated middle school and skipped his. the principal heard he was skipping graduation and called me. You'd have thought DS was planning to burn the school down. I refrained from telling him that many people in my family went on to higher education after middle school.

Bwahahaha!!!

[Artemis Windsong]

My GF's GrS graduates tomorrow.  She's about expired from making salads.

[spartan7886]

Jun 3, 2016 17:07:43 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

I'm not a big fan of kiddie graduations. DS hated middle school and skipped his. the principal heard he was skipping graduation and called me. You'd have thought DS was planning to burn the school down. I refrained from telling him that many people in my family went on to higher education after middle school.

My middle school had previously had a graduation ceremony, but the year I finished there they changed it to a recognition ceremony because they had too many kids who apparently did think it meant they were done with school. It was an interesting experience, going there, between the 13 student pot ring they busted, the 5 pregnant girls, and the multiple times the stairwells towards the street got shut down so the SWAT team could use them as lookout positions for raids on nearby apartment complexes. Last year it got shut down when the public realized it had been built on soil contaminated with heavy metals from a furniture factory that had previously operated next door.

For high school graduation, I only remember graduation itself and an awards ceremony that I think happened during school hours. My church also had a small party for graduating seniors, but that was separate.

[beergut]

Well, the graduation week is over.

They did start one little tradition that I thought was silly, but the grads got into it, and it was a big hit with the community. They called it the Legacy Walk. Basically, the grads donned their gowns and mortarboards, and walked through the halls of the elementary schools they attended. I thought it was silly when I heard about it, but the students were excited about it. When I watched the videos of the Legacy Walk, the elementary kids were stoked! They were so excited to high-five the seniors as they walked through the school. I figured some of them were younger siblings of the grads, so they were excited to see big brother or big sis dressed up in their gowns. 

Some of the elementary schools were built and opened the year these grads were in kindergarten, so they are the first class to go K-12 through the system from those schools, so for their teachers and administrators who watched them all 13 years, that was pretty special. 

The HS commencement was Friday evening, lasted roughly two hours. 410 kids graduated, and it took them 45 minutes to list off their names and give them their diplomas. The other 55 minutes were spent recognizing the school trustees, introducing administrators, and speeches no one listened to.

There were 15 separate types of regalia that the grads were wearing, which I thought was excessive. 17YO had two cords, a red one for giving blood, and a pink one for working as an athletic trainer. They also had cords for student council, class officers, thespian society honor roll, and a lot of other options I've forgotten. Since they were basically handing them out like participation ribbons, I was annoyed a friend's daughter didn't receive a cord for being on drill team. That is just as much of an extracurricular as student council or drama. Really overkill on the regalia. 

We held her graduation party at a friend's place, and had a combined graduation party for 17YO and one of her friends. Friend has a massive pool house and pool, so it was ideal to let the kids swim while the adults drank and socialized. Pretty sure I'll have to turn in my YM card after what I spent on this party. We had a frozen margarita machine, so I spent $200 on tequila and triple sec for the mix. Even with cheap tequila, when you're buying 8 handles of it, it adds up. 

Spent $100 on folding camping chairs after a snafu meant we couldn't rent any regular folding chairs in time. 

We had live music provided by a Texas country/Red Dirt singer. She was phenomenal!! Spent $400 on her, and she was worth every penny. 

GF was very happy with how the party turned out. The nice thing was seeing friends and neighbors drive in from hours away just to say hello and congratulate the 17YO. It would have been easy for them to just mail a card, but they made the trip, and that makes all the difference. 17YO was very happy. 

[lund]

Glad that the graduation went well, and congrats to both her, her mom and you!

The new Legacy Walk sounds like a good thing to me - it is easy to arrange, cheap (provided the new grads have their caps and gowns already), fun for the grads to show off a bit to younger friends and relatives, and may also show the younger ones that "if s/he can graduate, I can too!"  or a simpler "I want to do that too!", which probably  helps their motivation.

[teen persuasion]

Let's see.  Track season ended a few weeks ago (had a senior recognition thing at the last home meet before sectionals and All-League).  Last Tech Wars competition.  Last All State music performance.  Last overnight String Festival (and little DS5 did it for the first time).  Senior skip day.  

This week: Senior HS concert tonight (twice as long as usual concerts, since each ensemble conductor will recognize and reminisce about each senior).  Tuesday is the 5/6 concert (at least with only 2 left at home we don't need to attend all 4 concerts) and field trip for DS5.  Wednesday is the Music Awards ceremony.  Thursday is Sports Awards ceremony.  Friday is senior breakfast, and the prom.  DS4 went to the prom last year, and is not going this year.  His group of friends are planning to have a party instead of prom - same place as last year's after-prom hangout.  Monday is Academic Awards ceremony.  Nearly two weeks of Regents (not many seniors are taking any, the majority hit in junior year).  Graduation is Saturday evening (June 25) on the front lawn of the school, weather permitting.  Many in the village just sit on their front porches to watch.  Only 5 tickets per family if things have to move indoors.

My senior has been mentally checked out since this quarter began.  The last few weeks he's had only 2 days per week actually in class with all the competitions and events and holidays.  This last week of classes is just fluff.  Even the fifth grader has little actual learning going on now (watching movies in class last week), and they have a few more weeks of classes w/o Regents at their grade level.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

My YDS graduated this weekend.  The ceremony was indoors due to weather, so my frustration at his small cheering section was all for naught as graduates were only allowed 5 guests (although it was very clear that some people cannot count ).  YDS was the 3rd of 200 graduates to get his diploma.  DH, ODS, and I went and did our best to be loud and proud and set the early standard for the class.    

We then met up with 9 other family members at YDS' favorite restaurant and wined and dined for several hours.  DYB came back to our house afterwards, and the 5 of us had beers and celebratory cigars huddled in the rain under the overhang on my back porch.  

I have mixed feelings.  I can't believe how quickly the past 20 years went by.  But, I am realizing as well that I have been holding my breath for 20 years.  I love my children more than life itself and I am truly blessed to have them and to have a strong relationship with each of them.  But, parenting is hard work.  I put a good deal of "me" aside while raising them.  I'm looking forward to being me again.  

But, not today.  The kids and I are chilling around the house today listening to tunes together and just enjoying the freedom.  In the final equation, life is really, really good.  

[beergut]

Jun 6, 2016 8:52:08 GMT -5 lund said:

Glad that the graduation went well, and congrats to both her, her mom and you!

The new Legacy Walk sounds like a good thing to me - it is easy to arrange, cheap (provided the new grads have their caps and gowns already), fun for the grads to show off a bit to younger friends and relatives, and may also show the younger ones that "if s/he can graduate, I can too!"  or a simpler "I want to do that too!", which probably  helps their motivation.

This is really the reason for the Legacy Walk, to set an example and motivate the kids in elementary school.

Apparently, dropping out is enough of a problem that they are coming up with solutions like this. 

[wvugurl26]

The elementary school next to my high school had primarily lower income kids from bad neighborhoods. They coordinated lots of activities between the two. We'd go help them read, do math, art stuff, etc. I like the idea of the walk.

[teen persuasion]

Surprise!  DS4 got two awards I didn't expect at Music Awards tonight, one a small scholarship.  Very nice surprise.

Now I'm waiting up for him - the seniors decided a campout on the football field was a good idea. . He's not planning on staying all night, but... there's still a few days of class yet this week.  And a bonfire planned for Friday night.  And I forgot he has his final cello recital Saturday.  Did I mention the gang is also considering a midweek camping trip before graduation, too?

[plugginaway22]

The last of our nieces and nephews graduation was this past week!  Class of 410!  It was an hour and 20 minutes of speeches before they called the first name.  Thankfully it was a beautiful evening so I just watched the sunset and zoned out.  We then all went to their home for 'dinner' at 10 pm on a work night.  As I said before, our family attends them all, and they all came for my kiddos.

[teen persuasion]

Ok, now we are finally done with graduation this year!

Ceremony was only 1 hr, though DS4 had to be there 1 hr beforehand, and we hung around another hr afterwards chatting over refreshments.  Despite the heat earlier, it was a beautiful evening under the shade trees on the front school lawn.  Ok, the grads were a bit warm in the setting sun on the stage in front of us.