Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 16, 2016 21:09:04 GMT -5
Angel!, I'm glad you are taking control. A pox on that damn boss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2016 21:09:34 GMT -5
Speaking of stress. What's the situation with the ex? He staying away?
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Sept 16, 2016 21:49:02 GMT -5
Lastly, my mom retired. She has been helping a ton with the kids. Much more than is needed & I keep telling her not to burn herself out. The older kids aren't going to after school care, saving me over $600/month, which in turn allows me to cut hours. I haven't cut hours so far because she has been helping so much I don't need to, so I have a lot of extra money. I haven't worried this little about money in probably 10 years. I'm working really hard to save the extra. Not trying to dig another hole by upping my lifestyle or wasting the money. Summary - things are good. I am happier. I am cutting out things in my life that I don't enjoy - managing certain projects, working 40 hours/week with kids in after school care, staff meetings. Life is too short to put up with bullshit & I've found saying no hasn't had much impact on my job thus far. I have every intention of keeping my stress low & avoiding any future heart attacks I love all of this especially the bolded. I'm sorry that it took a heart attach to get to this point, but I am so happy to hear that you are making positive changes. I must say that you sound so much better, happier, calmer than you had in quite awhile. Thanks for the update. I hope that you continue on your positive path.
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Angel!
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Politics Admin
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Post by Angel! on Sept 16, 2016 23:59:01 GMT -5
Sorry, I just realized what an insane wall of text I wrote.
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Angel!
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Politics Admin
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Post by Angel! on Sept 17, 2016 0:20:49 GMT -5
Speaking of stress. What's the situation with the ex? He staying away? For the most part he just leaves me alone. We did go through some fun when he found out about the heart attack. It was posted about on facebook, so someone must of let him know or he saw it somehow. I went through all the privacy settings again & have blocked him, so who knows. But, I do need to watch what I post. In his head, me having a heart attack means I must have OD'ed on drugs. So he sent me email after email about how horrible I am & how I am not fit to raise the kids. He is going to call CPS & have them taken away. But, only because he HAS to. Because it just isn't right that I am raising the kids with my drug problems. He is only doing what is best for the kids, but he still really loves me. Then he really went all out, accused me of selling my daughter for drugs. And went on a rant about how I lied because I never told him I went to high school with a coworker (except I didn't go to high school with any coworkers, so not sure what that was about). Beyond that fun time I only hear from him sporadically & haven't replied to anything in 6 months. It is never anything to do with the kids or asking to say hi or talk to them. Just random crap meant to annoy me or maybe creep me out. On DD's Bday a few days ago he texted "knowing it all". Who knows what that means, I felt like it meant he was watching us. I know he has stopped by although I've never seen him. I keep occasionally finding the plastic black and mild cigar tips in my yard & once in my garage. For a long time I assumed they were old ones, but it has just been too many and it places that they wouldn't have been overlooked for many years. It has been over two years since he has been invited on the property, much longer than that since he has spent any significant amount of time here. Not enough people smoke those for them to keep ending up in the yard just by chance. I don't know if he just hangs out and smokes and happens to leave them or if he leaves them on purpose just to let me know he has been there. I try to not worry about it because there is nothing I can do. If I move at some point I am hoping there is a way to not put my name on the house. That way it would be much harder to try to track me down.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Sept 17, 2016 0:35:38 GMT -5
Thanks for checking in! Glad things are going better, but don't be afraid to leave that job & find something or some place that leaves you feeling less stress. I've been keeping an eye out since January when everything started going to hell. The problem is I am specialized and in a smaller city. So there aren't a lot of job opportunities that come up unless I am willing to move to a new City. Part of me thinks I have it too good to leave. I earn 4 weeks vacation/year, can work from home whenever I want, am free to go part time, I like most of my coworkers, and I have a say in what projects I work on. I feel like that it is going to be really hard to find something with all these non-financial benefits, especially since their isn't exactly a lot of jobs to pick from. I've been considering a career change just for more opportunities, but I don't even know what to pursue or how to go about it. It sucks that I am so specialized that there are no jobs. But, I think being so specialized is why my employer can't really afford to lose me either, so boss would have a really hard time getting rid of me.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 17, 2016 0:36:43 GMT -5
Oh my geez Angel!, that sure is really creepy. Take care of yourself and the kids.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Sept 17, 2016 23:34:20 GMT -5
Angel - glad to hear you're doing well. I've thought of you often. Re: your anger at your boss - I get it, I do. But you've been under a lot of stress for a long time - money stress, ex stress, work stress, kid stress. It's not all your shithead of a boss's fault. Not arguing he's a shithead though.
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countrygirl
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Post by countrygirl on Sept 19, 2016 12:25:19 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that, understand the work thing, wish I had had the courage to confront them way back when they almost drove me in the ground. Good deal!
But be wary, anybody can be replaced, never forget that. They may not do as well and may take them a long time to learn but they will always put up with that if they dislike the person enough. Just how it is.
But bet you can find another one even if you have to move.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Sept 19, 2016 12:36:54 GMT -5
Glad to hear you are doing better.
Maybe set up a trust and put the house in the trust's name? The Freedom Trust or something else without your personal name.
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gacpa
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Post by gacpa on Sept 20, 2016 0:14:40 GMT -5
Have you considered getting a security system for the house, or maybe some outside cameras? Lots of our neighbors have those around their front doors or facing their yards and I do feel like I live in a safe subdivision. If the ex is out there, it might deter him if he knew he was being filmed. As for my home security, I have a very loud dog who likes to bark at everything outside.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 9:15:54 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2016 20:52:06 GMT -5
Speaking of stress. What's the situation with the ex? He staying away? For the most part he just leaves me alone. We did go through some fun when he found out about the heart attack. It was posted about on facebook, so someone must of let him know or he saw it somehow. I went through all the privacy settings again & have blocked him, so who knows. But, I do need to watch what I post. In his head, me having a heart attack means I must have OD'ed on drugs. So he sent me email after email about how horrible I am & how I am not fit to raise the kids. He is going to call CPS & have them taken away. But, only because he HAS to. Because it just isn't right that I am raising the kids with my drug problems. He is only doing what is best for the kids, but he still really loves me. Then he really went all out, accused me of selling my daughter for drugs. And went on a rant about how I lied because I never told him I went to high school with a coworker (except I didn't go to high school with any coworkers, so not sure what that was about). Beyond that fun time I only hear from him sporadically & haven't replied to anything in 6 months. It is never anything to do with the kids or asking to say hi or talk to them. Just random crap meant to annoy me or maybe creep me out. On DD's Bday a few days ago he texted "knowing it all". Who knows what that means, I felt like it meant he was watching us. I know he has stopped by although I've never seen him. I keep occasionally finding the plastic black and mild cigar tips in my yard & once in my garage. For a long time I assumed they were old ones, but it has just been too many and it places that they wouldn't have been overlooked for many years. It has been over two years since he has been invited on the property, much longer than that since he has spent any significant amount of time here. Not enough people smoke those for them to keep ending up in the yard just by chance. I don't know if he just hangs out and smokes and happens to leave them or if he leaves them on purpose just to let me know he has been there. I try to not worry about it because there is nothing I can do. If I move at some point I am hoping there is a way to not put my name on the house. That way it would be much harder to try to track me down. Boy, he's hanging onto the nut job title for the long haul isn't he? Him still snooping around the house is creepy, especially INSIDE the garage. I would think about getting a security system or at least install a bunch of motion activated lights so he can't be just sitting outside the windows in the yard without you knowing it. Glad he's leaving you alone for the most part though!
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sesfw
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life
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Post by sesfw on Sept 20, 2016 22:18:04 GMT -5
If I move at some point I am hoping there is a way to not put my name on the house. That way it would be much harder to try to track me down.
If you do end up moving get a PO box at your new location for a change of address. Slowly let important mail come to your home and at the end of a year close the PO box without a forwarding address. Might slow the ex down for a while.
Please be careful. Outside security sounds necessary to me just to keep him away.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 21, 2016 9:45:04 GMT -5
You need a large, LOUD, dog.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 10:30:28 GMT -5
You need a large, LOUD, dog. I think she has a couple dogs already, but not sure how big and loud. Although, little and alert and yappy works good too.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 21, 2016 11:10:09 GMT -5
If I move at some point I am hoping there is a way to not put my name on the house. That way it would be much harder to try to track me down.If you do end up moving get a PO box at your new location for a change of address. Slowly let important mail come to your home and at the end of a year close the PO box without a forwarding address. Might slow the ex down for a while. Please be careful. Outside security sounds necessary to me just to keep him away. I'd keep the PO box forever honestly. I may be the only weirdo that hates having mail/packages delivered to my house. I'm sure it has a bit to do with how good my post office is in the first place, but I'd rather my stuff be more secure than sitting by my door or in the mailbox. And I don't have a crazy ex.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Sept 21, 2016 20:13:08 GMT -5
You need a large, LOUD, dog. I think she has a couple dogs already, but not sure how big and loud. Although, little and alert and yappy works good too. Or cats. My cats are better guard dogs than any dogs I've ever had. They notice wildlife walking through the backyard during the night; the dogs always slept through it. As a bonus, the cats will shred you as they launch off you to get to a window to look out, so you're definitely awake. Since I'm such a generous soul, I'll offer to ship at least two of my guard cats to Angel.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 21, 2016 20:23:18 GMT -5
If I move at some point I am hoping there is a way to not put my name on the house. That way it would be much harder to try to track me down.If you do end up moving get a PO box at your new location for a change of address. Slowly let important mail come to your home and at the end of a year close the PO box without a forwarding address. Might slow the ex down for a while. Please be careful. Outside security sounds necessary to me just to keep him away. I'd keep the PO box forever honestly. I may be the only weirdo that hates having mail/packages delivered to my house. I'm sure it has a bit to do with how good my post office is in the first place, but I'd rather my stuff be more secure than sitting by my door or in the mailbox. And I don't have a crazy ex. My ILs only use a PO box as they don't have a mailbox installed at their house. Initially, the house was a 2nd home and they didn't want mailed delivered there. When it became their main home, they still had no desire for mail to be delivered there. They only have packages delivered there if it's via FedEx, UPS, flowers, etc. (i.e., can't deliver to a PO box). Keep in mind, almost everyone on their street has a mailbox.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 22, 2016 10:51:27 GMT -5
I'd keep the PO box forever honestly. I may be the only weirdo that hates having mail/packages delivered to my house. I'm sure it has a bit to do with how good my post office is in the first place, but I'd rather my stuff be more secure than sitting by my door or in the mailbox. And I don't have a crazy ex. My ILs only use a PO box as they don't have a mailbox installed at their house. Initially, the house was a 2nd home and they didn't want mailed delivered there. When it became their main home, they still had no desire for mail to be delivered there. They only have packages delivered there if it's via FedEx, UPS, flowers, etc. (i.e., can't deliver to a PO box). Keep in mind, almost everyone on their street has a mailbox. I didn't have a mailbox at my last house and the address was never found by GPS so getting packages there sucked. Thankfully, if I could somehow sneak in the PO box number they'd get it there if it came through them. (UPS also does drops at our post office, something called smart delivery or something, it's odd). I live in an apartment now and I still prefer the post office.
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